first impressions are not always the best essay

Several Reasons Why First Impressions Aren’t Always Reliable

In real life, the ‘cover’ of people, what they wear, how they look, and their behavior can often misrepresent what they really are. Like the cover of a book, first impressions are not always right, it can be inaccurate, and not as true as what it really is. It is true that everyone often makes a wrong judgment on first impressions, people who are of a different nationality, race, and ethnicity, they can skew and invalidate first impression because they have different ways in how they meet someone new.

In addition, every race and ethnicity has their own type of body language, and the way they speak in daily life because people from different cultures may not share a similar understanding in their communication regarding the same symbols. People often consider their snap judgments as fact without getting to know someone who they have met better and deeply first. They make snap judgments continually throughout the day. They read expressions, check out body posture, watch gestures, assess clothing, and make a judgment right away & instantly. Snap judgment is not everything.

Furthermore, we, oftentimes, are lazy to make fair assessment to someone’s character. When we get more options to judge someone’s character, we tend to become more superficial about it. Without realizing it, we automatically have already made a wrong judgment because we just depend on first impressions rather than getting to know them first. We’re too lazy to find a way to make fair assessment to someone’s character. Eventually, it leads us to realize that it’s so hard to confront our flawed judgments so we usually just stuck in our snap judgments. Think about this: We often get a bad feeling about someone and then we never genuinely try to prove our hunch wrong or right. That’s a lot of hard work that most of us are frankly not willing to do. We never even think about proving our intuition wrong.

Basically, time limits our ability to get to know someone at his/her core. Sure, we can get either a positive or negative vibe about a person when the first time we meet him/her. But, it can’t be our excuse to judge their personality just based on our quick meeting. Because, time limits our ability to get to know someone beyond a superficial level. Our present emotional state also can impact the way we act. And plus, a quick meeting with a short time undoubtedly limits our ability to get to know someone so that no wonder we can end up judging someone just based on their impressions.

Additionally, people aren’t easy to figure out. There are layers behind a persona and sometimes, in order to peel those layers back, time is an essential factor to do so. A 10 seconds meeting can’t help us to make a correct judgment about someone’s core. In the end, people can’t make a quick fair judgment on someone’s impressions. We surely can’t make a correct judgment in a short timeframe. So, that’s why we all have friends that, at first glance, we didn’t like very much but after we got to know each other better, then we started saying that apparently they’re good friends. See? Just be mindful towards people.

In sum, first impressions aren’t always accurate. Based off of first impressions and looking back on some people you’ve met, how often do you perceive the person you know now in a completely different light than the way you did when you initially met him or her? That picture you painted of this person in your mind may not have been spot on. That’s why we should walk in someone else’s shoes first before we make our own assessment. Do yourself a favor next time and don’t let your first impression be the final judgment call.

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Have You Ever Worried About Making a Good First Impression?

In a winning essay for our 2019 Personal Narrative Contest, a teenager writes about wanting to make the right impression on her first day in a new school. Do first impressions matter, or are they overrated?

first impressions are not always the best essay

By Jeremy Engle

Students in U.S. high schools can get free digital access to The New York Times until Sept. 1, 2021.

This special Student Opinion question features one of the winning essays from our 2019 Personal Narrative Writing Contest. You can read all of the 2019 winning essays here , and learn more about participating in this year’s contest, open now until Nov. 17, 2020, here .

Have you ever fretted and agonized over a first encounter?

What did you do to make a good impression? Did you practice witty lines in your head? Did you ransack your closets looking for the perfect outfit?

Have you ever truly bungled a first impression? Or, surprised yourself and won over the crowd despite your great apprehension?

What can you learn about yourself from these first encounters?

In “ First Impressions ,” a winning essay from our 2019 Personal Narrative Contest for students, Isabel Hui writes about a time when she hoped to make a good impression — and what she learned about herself from it. Her narrative reads:

When I woke up on August 4, 2016, there was only one thing on my mind: what to wear. A billion thoughts raced through my brain as wooden hangers shuffled back and forth in the cramped hotel closet. I didn’t want to come off as a try-hard, but I also didn’t want to be seen as a slob. Not only was it my first day of high school, but it was my first day of school in a new state; first impressions are everything, and it was imperative for me to impress the people who I would spend the next four years with. For the first time in my life, I thought about how convenient it would be to wear the horrendous matching plaid skirts that private schools enforce. It wasn’t insecurity driving me to madness; I was actually quite confident for a teenage girl. It was the fact that this was my third time being the new kid. Moving so many times does something to a child’s development … I struggled finding friends that I could trust would be there for me if I picked up and left again. But this time was different because my dad’s company ensured that I would start and finish high school in the same place. This meant no instant do-overs when I pick up and leave again. This time mattered, and that made me nervous. After meticulously raiding my closet, I emerged proudly in a patterned dress from Target. The soft cotton was comfortable, and the ruffle shoulders added a hint of fun. Yes, this outfit was the one. An hour later, I felt just as powerful as I stepped off the bus and headed toward room 1136. But as I turned the corner into my first class, my jaw dropped to the floor. Sitting at her desk was Mrs. Hutfilz, my English teacher, sporting the exact same dress as I. I kept my head down and tiptoed to my seat, but the first day meant introductions in front of the whole class, and soon enough it was my turn. I made it through my minute speech unscathed, until Mrs. Hutfilz stood up, jokingly adding that she liked my style. Although this was the moment I had been dreading from the moment I walked in, all the anxiety that had accumulated throughout the morning surprisingly melted away; the students who had previously been staring at their phones raised their heads to pay attention as I shared my story. My smile grew as I giggled with my peers, ending my speech with “and I am very stylish, much like my first period teacher.” After class, I stayed behind and talked to Mrs. Hutfilz, sharing my previous apprehension about coming into a new school and state. I was relieved to make a humorous and genuine connection with my first teacher, one that would continue for the remainder of the year. This incident reminded me that it’s only high school; these are the times to have fun, work hard, and make memories, not stress about the trivial details. Looking back four years later, the ten minutes I spent dreading my speech were really not worth it. While my first period of high school may not have gone exactly the way I thought it would, it certainly made the day unforgettable in the best way, and taught me that Mrs. Hutfilz has an awesome sense of style!

Students, read the entire article, then tell us:

When have you made a good or bad first impression? Tell us what happened: Who did you meet, and what were the circumstances — was it a job interview, the first day of school or perhaps a chance encounter on the street? What thoughts were going through your head at the time? What made the impression a positive one or not?

Do you agree with the saying, “You’ll never get a second chance to make a first impression”? Have you ever recovered from a bad first impression you made or changed your initial thoughts about someone else?

Do you connect with anything in Isabel’s story? Have you ever fretted and agonized over an anticipated encounter or event? Which moments in the essay did you find most surprising, powerful or moving? Why?

At the end of the essay, Isabel reflects on her experience and gives the reader a take-away: “This incident reminded me that it’s only high school; these are the times to have fun, work hard, and make memories, not stress about the trivial details.” What do you think of that advice? Is there a moment in your life that changed the way you think or look at the world?

Isabel uses many vivid details to capture her feelings of fear and apprehension such as “meticulously raiding my closet,” and “I kept my head down and tiptoed to my seat.” Which “writer’s moves” that Isabel used in her narrative do you admire most? Choose one and share why you thought it was effective. How did it draw you into the story and help you to identify with the author’s situation?

Students, if Isabel’s story inspired you, consider turning what you wrote into your own personal narrative and submit it to our contest , now through Nov. 17, 2020.

About Student Opinion

• Find all our Student Opinion questions in this column . • Have an idea for a Student Opinion question? Tell us about it . • Learn more about how to use our free daily writing prompts for remote learning .

Students 13 and older in the United States and the United Kingdom, and 16 and older elsewhere, are invited to comment. All comments are moderated by the Learning Network staff, but please keep in mind that once your comment is accepted, it will be made public.

Jeremy Engle joined The Learning Network as a staff editor in 2018 after spending more than 20 years as a classroom humanities and documentary-making teacher, professional developer and curriculum designer working with students and teachers across the country. More about Jeremy Engle

Home — Essay Samples — Sociology — First Impression — Judging Others Based On First Impression

First Impressions: Judging Someone Without Knowing Them

Categories: First Impression Society Sociological Imagination

About this sample

Words: 1197 |

Published: Jul 15, 2020

Words: 1197 | Pages: 3 | 6 min read

Reflections based on personal experience, we are used to judging someone without knowing them, final thoughts, works cited.

Jones, S. L. (2010). Understanding psychological research (3rd ed.). Wiley.
Navarro, J., & Karlins, M. (2015). What every body is saying: An ex-FBI agent's guide to speed-reading people. HarperCollins.
Ambady, N., & Rosenthal, R. (1993). Half a minute: Predicting teacher evaluations from thin slices of nonverbal behavior and physical attractiveness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64(3), 431-441. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.64.3.431
Rule, N. O., & Ambady, N. (2008). The face of success: Inferences from chief executive officers' appearance predict company profits. Psychological Science, 19(2), 109-111. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9280.2008.02062.x
Dion, K. K., Berscheid, E., & Walster, E. (1972). What is beautiful is good. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 24(3), 285-290. doi:10.1037/h0033731
Rozin, P., & Royzman, E. B. (2001). Negativity bias, negativity dominance, and contagion. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 5(4), 296-320. doi:10.1207/S15327957PSPR0504_2
Ben-Shakhar, G., & Bar-Hillel, M. (2012). The signal‐detection approach to interrogatory evidence. Journal of Empirical Legal Studies, 9(1), 114-131. doi:10.1111/j.1740-1461.2011.01231.x
Berggren, N., Jordahl, H., & Poutvaara, P. (2010). The looks of a winner: Beauty and electoral success. Journal of Public Economics, 94(1-2), 8-15. doi:10.1016/j.jpubeco.2009.10.001
Kahneman, D., & Tversky, A. (1979). Prospect theory: An analysis of decision under risk. Econometrica, 47(2), 263-291. doi:10.2307/1914185
Willis, J., & Todorov, A. (2006). First impressions: Making up your mind after a 100-ms exposure to a face. Psychological Science, 17(7), 592-598. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01750.x

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How to Make a Great First Impression

Rebecca Knight

Prepare talking points ahead of time.

The saying “You only have one chance to make a first impression” holds true in many situations, from job interviews to sales calls. How can you make sure that you start off on the right foot in any of these scenarios? What should you actually say? And what’s the best way to follow up?

RK Rebecca Knight is a journalist who writes about all things related to the changing nature of careers and the workplace. Her essays and reported stories have been featured in The Boston Globe, Business Insider, The New York Times, BBC, and The Christian Science Monitor. She was shortlisted as a Reuters Institute Fellow at Oxford University in 2023. Earlier in her career, she spent a decade as an editor and reporter at the Financial Times in New York, London, and Boston.

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Front Psychol

Meta-Accuracy of Very First Impressions: A Mini Review

Ergyul Tair orcid.org/0000-0003-2546-463X

The meta-accuracy of first impressions (i.e., how accurately one understands others’ perception of oneself) can be conceptualized and measured in various ways. In order to reduce conceptual and methodological overwhelm, facilitate understanding of the topic, and stimulate future work in the field, we conducted a brief introductory literature review on the meta-accuracy of first impressions. Following a definitions-and-methodology-focused overview of the historical development of the topic, we present comparative synthesis and analysis of the key conceptualization and measurement methods used to study the meta-accuracy of first impressions. We also summarize the central research themes and types of stimuli that have been studied in relation to the meta-accuracy of first impressions. Finally, we make several suggestions for further research that could be beneficial to the future development and expansion of the field.

Introduction

Jane was shaking as she left her new mentor’s office: “She suggested so many changes… She must have thought I am totally incompetent… How am I ever going to get my degree?!”

Professor Jones, still at her desk, smiled as she went over her first meeting with Jane: “What a clever girl! Quite anxious, true, but so resourceful – such an interesting research topic… I hope my feedback helps her get the finer details right.”

First Impressions

The opening anecdote describes a situation in which a first impression occurs—that of Professor Jones about her new graduate student Jane. First impressions are the inferences we make about someone upon an initial encounter with them. These impressions are formed quickly and spontaneously ( Willis and Todorov, 2006 ) and are long-lasting (e.g., Gunaydin et al., 2017 ). First impressions are also remarkably influential as they are known to affect and predict situations of high personal (e.g., employment interviews; Harris and Garris, 2008 ) and societal relevance (e.g., political elections; Olivola and Todorov, 2010 ). Given the power of first impressions, understanding their various characteristics becomes essential for ensuring successful communication and avoiding misunderstanding.

One important characteristic of first impressions is their accuracy. Is the first impression of Professor Jones about Jane accurate? Accuracy in interpersonal perception typically refers to the correspondence between the subjective perception of the interaction partners and some more objective (i.e., more stable with respect to time and influences) criterion (e.g., Funder and West, 1993 ; Brauer and Proyer, 2020 ). First impressions can be (e.g., Ambady et al., 1999 ) but are not necessarily accurate (e.g., Rule et al., 2013 ; see Wood, 2014 for a detailed review on first impressions accuracy). Divergent findings on interpersonal accuracy may to a large extent be explained by differences in conceptualization and measurement approaches. Funder (1995) discusses common problems with defining and measuring interpersonal accuracy and proposes the Realistic Accuracy Model whose aim is to resolve many of these problems. The model also discusses moderators of interpersonal accuracy, such as the qualities of the perceiver, target, trait of interest, and the information involved.

Meta-Accuracy

In social interactions, there is a significant amount of trying to figure out what others think. The accuracy with which one infers others’ perception of oneself is termed as meta-accuracy ( Kenny and DePaulo, 1993 ). In our opening scenario, meta-accuracy relates to the correspondence between what Professor Jones thinks of Jane and what Jane thinks Professor Jones thinks of her.

It is important to note, however, that the matter of meta-accuracy is far more complex than the mere agreement between target and perceiver and instead is the result of the interplay between various factors and moderators ( Funder, 1995 ; Carlson and Elsaadawy, 2021 ). Things are further complicated by the target’s and judge’s views having both shared and distinctive components, by targets and judges achieving different levels of accuracy for different information types (e.g., self–other knowledge asymmetry or SOKA; Vazire, 2010 ), and by “blindness” to how one is perceived under certain circumstances (e.g., Gallrein et al., 2013 , 2016 ).

Understanding the meta-accuracy of first impressions is just as important as understanding their accuracy because it, too, has the potential to shape subsequent interactions. What we believe others make of us may to a large extent determine our own behavioral tendencies. Jane, for example, believes that Professor Jones sees her as incompetent and might try to work harder to prove that she is not and/or engage in self-fulfilling-prophecy behaviors and indeed present herself as incompetent.

The meta-accuracy of first impressions can be conceptualized and measured in multiple ways. The diversity in definitions and measurement techniques is advantageous as it allows addressing the phenomenon from various angles. However, it may also become overwhelming, confusing, and cause uncertainty and disagreement. We conducted a brief review to facilitate comprehension of current knowledge and planning of future work on the meta-accuracy of first impressions. We outline central conceptualization and measurement traditions, summarize key topics and stimuli studied in relation to the meta-accuracy of first impressions, and we present several further research ideas.

Materials and Methods

Literature search.

In September 2020, we conducted a Google Scholar search for articles in English whose text contained the expressions “meta accuracy” and “first impressions,” combined with the Boolean operator AND. The search returned approximately 144 results which we manually reviewed for relevance. We identified additional articles from the text and reference sections of the relevant Google Search results and from the automatic suggestions on some of their journal pages. Through the literature search and the manual filtering, we ended up with 70 articles.

Inclusion Criteria

The 70 articles underwent further detailed manual scrutiny with respect to several inclusion criteria. First, articles needed to be based on empirical data and be published peer-reviewed journals . Although, as stated earlier, first impressions generally tend to be exceptionally persistent, they can still be modified following subsequent exposure to new information under the right circumstances (e.g., Gawronski et al., 2010 ). As we were interested in the meta-accuracy of not yet modified “very first impressions” (term borrowed from Bar et al., 2006 , p. 269), we restricted our review to articles that reported data on at least one previously unacquainted group or time point with no previous acquaintance . Finally, since the developmental and clinical perspective were not central to our, we only included articles that studied at least one non-clinical group and excluded articles that studied only adolescent samples . During the peer review process, one reviewer brought to our attention two recent articles on the “liking gap”—an underestimation of interaction partners’ liking for each other. Those papers study the meta-accuracy of first impressions but had evaded our search due to the use of slightly different keywords. Both articles met our selection criteria and were included in the review. Our final selection consisted of 20 articles.

Synthesis and Analysis

From these 20 articles, we extracted the central ways of conceptualization and measurement of the meta-accuracy of first impressions, as well as the main research topics and stimulus information types studied in relation to meta-accuracy ( Table 1 ). Based on this synthesis, we identified several prominent research themes and stimuli types already figuring in the study of the meta-accuracy of first impressions. Our synthesis also helped spot a couple of research themes intuitively linked to but not yet studied in this context.

First impressions meta-accuracy measures, central addressed topics, and information type used to form the impressions.

No shading = single global measure approach; light gray = componential approach; and dark gray = combination of single global measure and componential approach.

Conceptualization and Measurement of the Meta-Accuracy of First Impressions

Before summarizing our observations, we briefly review the history and logic of meta-accuracy conceptualization and measurement.

The literature points to two major ways of conceptualizing meta-accuracy, both rooted in interpersonal perception research. One way is to look at meta-accuracy as a stand-alone phenomenon either devoid of or disregarding any potential effects of the perceiver, target, and the measures. Biesanz (2010) refers to this approach as “a single global measure of accuracy” (pp. 854–855). This tradition typically estimates meta-accuracy as either the correlation (and/or regression) or difference between the target’s evaluation of how they believe the perceiver sees them and the perceiver’s actual evaluation of the target. Comparison of means is also used within this tradition. Going back to our opening example, a single global measure approach would simply match (by correlations, regressions, or mean comparisons). Jane’s belief of how her professor sees her with the professor’s actual perception. Any effects on meta-accuracy caused by Jane and the professor, as well as their attributes (e.g., personality and momentary states), would not be taken into account.

The other way of conceptualizing meta-accuracy is to consider the influence of the perceiver, target, and measures. Such conceptualization produces “componential models” which include the effects of the different components in interpersonal perception ( Biesanz, 2010 ). The first model of this type was Lee J. Cronbach’s components of accuracy model (CCAM), published in Cronbach (1955) and focusing on the interaction between target and measure for each perceiver. Kenny and La Voie (1984) published the Social Relations Model (SRM), also based on componential logic but centering around the interaction (and considering effects of the specific relationship) between perceiver and target for each measure. In 2010, Jeremy C. Biesanz combined the CCAM and SRM into the Social Accuracy Model (SAM), which allows looking at perceiver and target effects across measures and traits. Readers will find an excellent review of componential models in Biesanz (2010) . It suffices for our purposes to state that the logic of componential modeling is based on estimating the variance explained by each component (and, when applicable, by the relationship between components). In our opening example, a componential model could tell us how much of the observed effect is due to Jane’s perception, the professor’s perception, their unique characteristics, and their very specific situation (i.e., different from how other people see Jane and from how the professor sees other students). Furthermore, componential approaches, as well as studying meta-accuracy for multiple trait profiles instead of for single traits (e.g., Furr, 2008 ), allow the decomposition of meta-accuracy into normative (stereotypical, related to group perception) and distinctive (unique, related to the individual). Thus, although they entail some conceptual and computational differences, componential and profile approaches could tell us what aspects of Jane’s meta-accuracy are stereotypical (related to how Jane believes she is seen by a larger group of people and how they actually see her) and what are distinctive (related to how Jane believes she is seen specifically by Professor Jones and how the professor sees Jane).

The choice of measurement method for meta-accuracy is determined by its conceptualization, which in turn is influenced by researchers’ preferences and tradition, the research question, and/or the availability of resources. Componential approaches generally provide a broader view on meta-accuracy but at the same time require complicated designs and computations. Often, to meet their specific research needs and circumstances, researchers opt for an adaptation and/or combination of approaches.

Out of the 20 articles we reviewed, we classified 10 as using primarily a single global measure, seven as using a componential approach, and three as relying on combinations of both. The choice of conceptualization and measure are typically reasonably justified by theory and/or previous research and follow logically from the studied questions. There is clearly a preference for the componential approach and even specific models within the approach among collaborators with established traditions, while researchers new to the field tend to begin with single global measures and later may add componential measures or switch preferences entirely.

Addressed Themes

The reviewed articles cover a broad range of topics, which could be organized into several major themes. First, following the historical development of the field, a large portion of the research has been dedicated to uncovering proof of the existence of the meta-accuracy phenomenon and identifying its principal characteristics ( DePaulo et al., 1987 ; Carlson et al., 2010 , 2011a ) and biases ( Re et al., 2016 ; Lu et al., 2018 ). Second, meta-accuracy has been studied in the context of specific personality traits and ways of social functioning ( Malloy and Janowski, 1992 ; Reno and Kenny, 1992 ; Carlson et al., 2011b ; Carlson and DesJardins, 2015 ; Carlson, 2016a , b , 2017 ; Rom and Conway, 2018 ; Sasson et al., 2018 ; Pinkham et al., 2019 ; Tissera et al., 2020 ). The third and most recent theme in the study of the meta-accuracy of first impressions, that is still in its early days, is dedicated to studying the phenomenon in the framework of Internet communication ( Stopfer et al., 2014 ; Wu and Zheng, 2019 ).

Types of Stimulus Information

The majority of reviewed articles studied first impressions formed in the context of face-to-face interactions. A couple of more recent studies also used videos, photographs, or texts. These observations led us to conclude that although traditionally the meta-accuracy of first impressions has been investigated in direct face-to-face interactions, there is a tendency to reflect societal trends by also addressing novel predominant communication means.

We reviewed 20 articles investigating the meta-accuracy of first impressions formed without previous acquaintance between/among the interaction partners. We established that based meta-accuracy conceptualization, research could be organized into three categories—(1) work considering the effects of the perceiver, target, and measures (componential approach), (2) work looking at meta-accuracy in isolation from perceiver, target, and measures effects (single global measure approach), and (3) work combining the two approaches. The way viewing meta-accuracy is determined by the specific research question, circumstances, and tradition.

We also extracted topics studied in relation to first impression meta-accuracy and organized them into three central themes—(1) evidence of, characteristics of, and biases in the meta-accuracy of first impressions, (2) personality traits and specifics of social functioning associated with meta-accuracy, and (3) meta-accuracy of first impressions on the Internet. There is not sufficient number of studies addressing each topic to allow the conclusion that there is a preferred method of conceptualization and measurement associated with a particular topic. Our observations do show that narcissism and social anxiety have been studied together with meta-accuracy using componential approaches, but this could also be explained by the tradition and composition of the research teams.

Finally, we observed that although traditionally research of the meta-accuracy of first impressions has relied on face-to-face interactions, new stimuli reflecting the predominant modes of interpersonal communication are also being incorporated.

Ideas for Further Research

Within the reviewed articles, we found systematic, but a bit limited in scope, investigation of first impression meta-accuracy. This is fully understandable as the field is relatively small and the literature reflects the methodical work around the primary questions of interest for only a couple of research groups. Researchers new to the field do introduce some diversity in the studied topics (e.g., morality; Rom and Conway, 2018 ).

One intuitive direction for expanding the scope of the field would be to address a broader range of individual characteristics that have the potential to affect first impression meta-accuracy. The most obvious candidates would be perceiver personality differences, such as gender, agreeableness, neuroticism, which, as Hall et al. (2016) suggest, could be linked to the accuracy of personality detection. Further logical candidates for expanding individual characteristics range would be social intelligence and Theory of Mind. Given reports of impaired meta-accuracy in autism ( Sasson et al., 2018 ), it is reasonable to suspect positive associations between social competencies and meta-accuracy. If perspective taking abilities are impaired, one might not be able to properly grasp how another might see them upon their very first encounter. To illustrate with our opening anecdote, Jane may indeed be simply anxious, but she may also have suboptimal or impaired social abilities, causing her to misinterpret social cues and not properly understand what Professor Jones thinks of her. As noted by Kenny and Albright (1987) , the role of perceiver and target personality has long been of interest to interpersonal perception accuracy research but has not been properly addressed due to research method limitations. In a way, novel models, such as the SAM, do provide the means to study such questions, and the understanding of the meta-accuracy of first impressions would benefit from a systematic investigation on the matter.

Surprisingly, we did not come across any literature directly reporting the study of meta-accuracy of first impressions from a neurological perspective . What kind of meta-accuracy-related neural activation could we expect in Jane during and following her meeting with Professor Jones? We would predict the involvement of networks associated with thinking about what others think (e.g., Theory of Mind; Saxe and Kanwisher, 2003 ) and representation of the self (e.g., Molnar-Szakacs and Arzy, 2009 ). But what would the temporal dynamics of this activation be? Would there be a (recursive) feedback-based correction mechanism associated with meta-accuracy and what would that involve? Answering these and further neural activation questions would enhance our understanding of meta-accuracy of first impressions and might point toward previously unaddressed issues related to both its conceptualization and measurement. Recent work by Schindler et al. (2021) provides a peak into this direction by demonstrating through the study of event-related potentials following dyadic interactions that feedback incongruent with one’s self-view influences different processing stages of others’ evaluations of oneself.

Finally, we have seen through both the recently addressed themes and types of stimuli used in impression formation that meta-accuracy research has already began incorporating the specifics of Internet communication. Given the ever-increasing presence of the Internet in daily life, we would like to encourage the continuation and expansion of the Internet-related branch of research on meta-accuracy of first impressions. In particular, we believe that some highly specific characteristics of Internet communication, such as synchronicity, deserve attention as they may affect meta-accuracy of first impressions. Would meta-accuracy be affected (and if so, how) by a time lag between the exchanges in the communication process? Some Internet-specific types of information used in the formation of first impressions, such as avatars, for instance, also present research possibilities for meta-accuracy research.

In short, we propose that the understanding of meta-accuracy of first impressions could be enhanced by (1) expanding the range of individual characteristics that are studied in association with it, (2) addressing its neural correlates, and (3) strengthening its investigation in the context of Internet interactions.

Limitations

Our work followed a strict protocol but also entails a strong qualitative component. This more descriptive than statistical format is explained by the overall small number of peer-reviewed studies addressing the meta-accuracy of first impressions formed without previous acquaintance. With very few scientists studying the topic directly, in many instances, the conceptualization and measurement approaches as well as the studied theme are determined by tradition and the composition of the respective research team. As the field grows and the literature in it expands, it would become feasible to conduct more systematic reviews and possibly meta-analyses.

With our overview of the conceptualization and measurement approaches, our summary of the central studied themes, and our overview of potential future research directions we hope to make the domain of meta-accuracy of first impressions easier to navigate and appealing to students and interested researchers. With this review, we wish to introduce the topic in a not-too-daunting way, as well as inspire and facilitate further work in the field.

Author Contributions

All authors contributed to the conception of the review and the establishment of the article inclusion criteria. ETs conducted the literature search, article classification, and wrote the first draft of the manuscript. ETa provided feedback and contributed to revisions of the draft. All authors approved the submitted version.

This work, including open access publication fees, was supported by a grant with contract number КП-06-ДБ-3 from the National Scientific Program “Petar Beron. Science and Innovation with Europe” (Petar Beron and NIE) of the Bulgarian National Science Fund at the Ministry of Education of the Republic of Bulgaria.

Conflict of Interest

The authors declare that the research was conducted in the absence of any commercial or financial relationships that could be construed as a potential conflict of interest.

Publisher’s Note

All claims expressed in this article are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of their affiliated organizations, or those of the publisher, the editors and the reviewers. Any product that may be evaluated in this article, or claim that may be made by its manufacturer, is not guaranteed or endorsed by the publisher.

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First Impression Significance Essay

The first meeting of two people makes up the most importance in their relationship. On the first encounter between two or more people, each undoubtedly asks unconsciously whether the other person will be fit for them in terms of the objective of their meeting. First impressions are an evolutionary trait of humans to adapt adequately and participate in society interactions.

Additionally, first impressions depend on the observer and the person observed. Most empirical research on first impression shows that persons are most attracted to other persons who show a tendency to accept them, as they would like to. This paper describes how first impressions are made and why they are important to the functioning of any society.

We make first impressions as a preliminary mode of adaptation to the other person and therefore the impressions made are in no way definitive. As we get to interact more with the other person, our preliminary impressions undergo a modification. However, this does not imply that we completely overhaul our initial impression of the other person; instead, our initial impressions make the basis of our further scrutiny and refinement of subsequent impressions.

An experiment by the American psychologist, Solomon Asch demonstrates the above point in practice. In the experiment, the psychologist drafted six qualities of an individual and then gave the qualities to two groups of students and asked them to describe the individual in their own words. Each group received a different order of the same six qualities of the individual.

The first group received the six qualities in the order of the most positive to the least positive while the second group received an opposite arrangement, from the least positive quality to the most positive quality.

The experiment’s result showed that the first group interpreted the negative qualities of the individual in the view of the individual’s positive qualities thus indicating that the group had formed a positive preliminary perception of the individual. Contrariwise the second group viewed the individual positive qualities as minor qualities of the individual’s overall negative personality.

This result indicates that the second group relied on the sequence of delivery of qualities to form their initial perception. From the results of the experiment, it is clear that an individual form the preliminary perception of another person based on what attribute of the other person shows up first.

The degree of accuracy of first impressions depends significantly on the observer and the observed person. First impressions determine how we handle the next step of getting to know the other person as the example of psychologist Solomon Asch has demonstrated. The experiment only highlights first impressions in a controlled environment, however, the reality governing first impressions is much complex.

Humans use first impressions as an evolutionary instinct of survival. According to psychology, it only takes three seconds for a person to form a first impression of another person. The brief exposure to the other person’s behavior and characteristics is enough for individuals to form an opinion whether further interaction with the other person will be of any benefit. As an evolutionary trait, the interpretation of the brief exposure to the other person’s behavior serves as a shield in interpersonal relationships in an unknown societal setting.

In medieval times, people used first impressions to gauge the other person or group’s chances of inflicting harm or being beneficial. In the modern world, survival is different. Survival is in terms of meeting our goals, fulfilling our desires, finishing tasks, accurately predicting the future and avoiding danger whether physical or psychological.

Although the perceiver may honestly create a first impression, the perceived individual may only be pretending. A person’s way of interpreting the brief exposure of behavior during first encounters with other persons determines how they proceed in their relation to the stranger.

On the other hand, individuals expect others to form a first impression of their behaviors and therefore go to great lengths in ensuring that only what they desire to demonstrate is actually captured by their perceiver. Therefore, individuals do not rely on first impressions only in their formation of an opinion of a stranger’s character.

Similarity of the encounter with previous encounters significantly affects how an individual will perceive another. Secondly, the similarities of the stranger’s observable characteristics with those characteristics that the perceiver is examining also contribute to the final perception. Due to this fact, individuals tend to look for what is common between them and use their value of the common factor to perceive the other person.

So if the stranger’s only similarity is a depiction of a characteristic that is very mild in the perceiver’s awareness, then the overall judgment formed is skeptical and subject to further scrutiny. However when the opposite is the case, an individual forms a favorable perception of the stranger and further scrutiny happens to support the already formed perception. This attribute of first impressions is in tandem with the findings of psychologist Solomon Asch as explained earlier in this paper.

Despite the high probability of individuals in getting their first impressions wrong, society goes to great lengths to develop mechanisms intended for creating first impressions. In work relations and careers, resumes and interviews exist to help employers to perceive their potential employees. However, the same avenues also allow potential employees to falsify their actual behavior and competency to create a similarity with that of the potential employer.

In the medical field, physicians and nurses rely on the initial description of a condition by their patients as well as the observable traits of their patients to deduce the kind of medication and care appropriate for the patient. In interpersonal relationships, persons use the setting of their first encounter, their stereotypic view of the behavior demonstrated by the stranger and their intention for meeting to form a perception.

The formation of first impressions is fundamental to people’s social perception and social cognition. The individual’s evolution of understanding others in a setting that lacks a constant social hierarchy is heavily dependent on this attribute. As a result, the creation of first impressions is a dynamic process that constantly incorporates previously learnt and experienced aspects of perceiving other people’s suitability for association.

As the society becomes more aware of the importance of first impressions, some individuals strive to ensure that their behaviors, as depicted to others, are a reflection of who they want to be instead of their actual self. On the other hand, new forms appear together with the refinement of stereotypes to ensure that first impressions are accurate. The result is a constant formulation of new strategies and mechanisms of creating first impressions to reduce the tendency of making inaccurate perceptions.

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First Impressions: Everything You Need to Make a Good Introduction

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

Jordi Salas/Moment/Getty

How to Make a Good First Impression

Signs of a Good Impression
Why It Matters
Overcoming a Bad Impression

First impressions are the initial opinions that people form the first time they meet another person. Such judgments occur very quickly and are based on the immediate, limited information that is available.

The first impressions people form are often based on immediate observations about characteristics, such as how others look, how they act, what they say, and their general attitude. However, people also bring their own past experiences, expectations, biases , and misapprehensions to the situations when forming impressions.

While first impressions play an important role in how people feel about others, how they treat them, and the future development of the relationship, such perceptions can be biased and inaccurate.

Because first impressions can be wrong, it is important to remember that you should look at other information beyond your initial perceptions when you are making judgments about other people.

This article discusses what you can do to make a good first impression and how to gauge whether or not you have succeeded. It also offers tips for what you can do to help overcome a bad first impression.

Making a good first impression is important, particularly in certain situations. If you are trying to make a good impression on other people, there are some strategies that can help.

Be Aware of Your Body Language

Nonverbal signals can convey a great deal of information, so it is important to make sure that your body language reinforces the impression you are trying to make.

Maintain an open posture and make sure you keep your body angled toward the other person. Sit or stand straight and keep your arms at your sides and your legs straight. Crossing your arms or legs can seem closed off or even defensive.

Watch Your Expressions

In addition to using good body language, be sure to watch how you are responding with your facial expressions. Smiling , for example, can help convey warmth and genuine interest.

If you are feeling tense, such as during a job interview or while speaking in public, try to maintain a relaxed expression. Researchers have found that people perceive people with happy expressions as more trustworthy.

Dress Appropriately

Appearance, including how you dress, can help convey information about who you are to others. If you are dressed correctly for the occasion, it may help people form a good impression of you.

This doesn't mean that you can't express yourself through your appearance, but it is important to consider how you want to be perceived. Choose clothing that looks neat, is suited to the occasion, and helps you feel comfortable and confident when meeting new people.

Different situations have different expectations. A job interview would necessitate a more formal, professional appearance, whereas meeting a new friend for coffee would involve more casual dress.

Consider Your Words

When speaking to others, focus on using language that is polite, respectful, and non-judgmental. While there are certain opinions or subjects you might feel comfortable discussing with people who already know you well, it is best to try to be considerate of other people's feelings and backgrounds when you are first introduced.

Knowing how to make small talk can be helpful. Neutral topics such as the weather, hobbies, sports, travel, and food can be great icebreakers. Just be sure to avoid critical or controversial opinions, such as trash-talking the other person's favorite sports team.

Instead, try asking open-ended questions about the other person, such as what they are reading or what they enjoy doing in their free time. It can be a great way to convey genuine interest and help the other person form the impression that you are attentive and genuine.

Show Interest in Others

When you are speaking to someone new, practice active listening. Be genuinely interested in what they have to say and make sure that you are listening to their responses.

Focus on the other person is also a great strategy if you are feeling anxious about meeting new people. By concentrating on the other person, you're less likely to focus on your own nervousness.

If you are nervous on a first date, for example, focus on the other person. Express interest in what they have to say and ask questions in a way that feels natural (and not like an interrogation or job interview).

How to Know If You’ve Made a Good First Impression

It isn't always easy or even possible to tell if you've made a good first impression on others. However, there are clues that you can watch for that might provide a bit of insight into what the other person is thinking and feeling:

Positive feedback : In some cases, people might offer direct feedback about how they are feeling about your meeting. A job interviewer, for example, might tell a job candidate that they are exactly right for the role or indicate that they are impressed by the interviewee's credentials.
Positive nonverbal signals : Body language that conveys warmth, comfort, and interest is always a good sign. If your conversation partner seems like they enjoy talking to you, it is a good sign that they are forming a positive first impression.
Further interest : If the other person follows up and contacts you again after your initial meeting, you probably made a good first impression. For example, if you give a potential romantic partner your phone number and they follow up with a text or phone call, it means they were impressed enough to express interest in meeting again.
Interest in socializing : If you've made a good first impression, the other person might reach out about getting together again. Or they might invite you to participate in some type of activity, such as another date or a potential work project.

Why First Impressions Are Important

People are evolutionarily wired to make snap judgments and quick decisions about others. These initial impressions may be based on very limited information, but they can affect how people see each other, set the tone for future interactions, and leave a lasting mark on how people view one another.

Initial Impressions Affect Other Assumptions

A phenomenon known as the halo effect can also impact people's impressions. If they perceive certain good qualities about you (like that you are nice, professional, and quick-witted), they are more likely to attribute other good qualities to you as well.

First Impressions Affect Future Interactions

Such impressions can have a significant impact in many ways. In the workplace, first impressions can play a role in employment opportunities, leadership roles, collaborations with others, and future advancement.

In social situations, how well others think of you based on their first assessment might determine the rapport they feel and whether they end up trusting or liking you.

Such impressions can also impact your love life. You might express interest in a potential partner, only to be rebuffed if you leave a poor first impression.

The ability to accurately recognize other people's emotions is essential for effective social interaction, but some research suggests that poor first impressions can negatively affect the ability to read emotions based on facial expressions.

First Impressions Are Long-Lasting

As the famous saying goes, you never have a second chance to make a first impression, and, for better or worse, those first impressions tend to stick. This is because of a phenomenon known as the primacy effect . Essentially, people tend to have a better memory for the initial information they learned than they do for subsequent information that follows.

When a person thinks about you, those first impressions are more likely to spring to mind over other details they may have learned, all thanks to the primacy effect.

Researchers found that first impressions made based on briefly looking at a photograph of a stranger affected judgments when participants met the same stranger face-to-face a month later.

How to Overcome a Bad First Impression

First impressions are important, but everyone has an off day or makes mistakes in social situations. While it might be more of a challenge to change how you are perceived, there are things you can do to overcome a bad first impression.

If your first meeting was marred by some type of mistake, reach out and apologize . Showing that you are aware of your gaffe and willing to take steps to overcome it can help improve the impression the other person has of you.

Explain What Happened

You don’t want to make excuses, but it can be helpful to provide an honest explanation for why your first meeting went poorly. You might explain that you were nervous, that you weren’t feeling well, that you were distracted, or that you were feeling stressed about something unrelated. No matter the cause, an honest explanation may help the other person better empathize with your situation.

Suggest Another Meeting

If you won’t see them in another setting, ask if you can have another opportunity to let them get to see the real you. However, be willing to respect the other person’s request if they decline your offer.

For example, don't continue pursuing a potential romantic partner after they have told you they are not interested. Don't take it personally; instead, see it as a learning opportunity and try to apply those lessons when you meet someone new.

Let Them See the Real You

If you do get another opportunity to overcome a poor initial impression, make sure you are authentic and consistent in your future interactions. Let the other person see the “real you” in terms of context and situation.

If it’s a second date, let them see the qualities that make you a great romantic partner, such as warmth, kindness, humor, and attentiveness.

In a workplace setting, focus on showing your skills and professionalism. Demonstrating initiative, productivity, and good work habits are just a few ways to help overcome a poor first impression at work.

Poor first impressions happen for a variety of reasons, but there are things you can do to overcome them. Apologizing, offering an explanation, asking for another chance, and showing your best qualities can help others form a more accurate view of who you are and what you have to offer.

A Word From Verywell

Think of first impressions as a building block for relationships—they play a major part in setting the tone for future interactions. Making a good first impression is a great start, but there are also reasons why those initial interactions might be less-than-stellar. Stress, situational factors, and even the other person’s expectations can affect how they see you.

A poor first impression can sink your chances professionally, socially, and romantically, so it is worth it to examine how others react to you in these settings.

Tsankova E, Tair E. Meta-accuracy of very first impressions: A mini review . Front Psychol . 2021;12:736534. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.736534

Wood TJ. Exploring the role of first impressions in rater-based assessments . Adv Health Sci Educ Theory Pract . 2014;19(3):409-427. doi:10.1007/s10459-013-9453-9

Thierry SM, Twele AC, Mondloch CJ. Mandatory first impressions: happy expressions increase trustworthiness ratings of subsequent neutral images . Perception . 2021;50(2):103-115. doi:10.1177/0301006620987205

Colonnello V, Russo PM, Mattarozzi K. First impression misleads emotion recognition . Front Psychol . 2019;10:527. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00527

Gunaydin G, Selcuk E, Zayas V. Impressions based on a portrait predict, 1-month later, impressions following a live interaction . Social Psychological and Personality Science . 2017;8(1):36-44.doi:10.1177/1948550616662123

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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Ielts essay # 1307 - our first impression of someone is important, ielts writing task 2/ ielts essay:, some people think our first impression of someone is important, while others think we should not judge another person so quickly and should take our time to know them better. , discuss both these views and give your own opinion..

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First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree? ...do you think...? ...your opinion...?

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Do yoy agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mothematics. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. why might be the case what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed, many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement, these days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages, the amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem what other solutions can you suggest.

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First Impression Is Important IELTS Essay: Ace Your IELTS First Impression

Updated On February 7, 2024
Published In IELTS Preparation 💻

Table of Contents

Acing the first impression in the IELTS essay task is easier said than done.

IELTS examiners read hundreds of essays daily and have a short attention span. Therefore, if you get the start right and leave a great impression for your First Impression is Important IELTS essay, you have already done a good job for the most part!

So, let’s walk you through some useful pointers to get a high score in the IELTS essay writing task!

Tips to Leave a Lasting First Impression in IELTS Essay

Don’t jump right in: You have to first stop and analyse what exactly the question is asking you to be then able to decide on a structure with a stellar introduction in coherence with the question. This first step should take about 5 mins to jot down all the key points.
Give a broad but smart first line: Always start by giving a general statement that exactly points to the issue at hand. Don’t go into the specifics too soon. Then, you can state your position on the matter.

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First Impression Is Important IELTS Essay: Ace Your IELTS First Impression

Rely on your own knowledge: Don’t pick the words of the questions to form your sentences in the introduction. It can come at the cost of your dream band score. Using your own knowledge to reiterate what’s being asked in the question is a sign of good vocabulary knowledge and understanding the question well. Both these factors contribute to raising your band score.
Give a preview of the essay ahead: In the introduction paragraph, you explain to the reader in just one line how you’ve structured your essay ahead. It boosts your readability giving you brownie points!
Flaunt your vocabulary: IELTS essay task is meant for you to go big! You should make use of the most unique words that are relevant in your vocabulary right from the start to be sure to leave a great first impression on the reader. It’s also necessary to ensure correct diction usage here.

Go through it once done: When you are satisfied with your opening paragraph and main content, go back and re-read for any spelling or grammar mistakes. Proper usage of grammatical elements like pronoun, preposition, verbs, tenses, synonyms and antonyms, etc. is of grave importance.

Sample Answer on First Impression is Important IELTS Essay

First impressions are often considered to be important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is how you secure a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give relevant examples wherever possible.

You should answer in at least 250 words. The ideal time limit for this task is 40 minutes.

Sample Answer

First impressions are often believed to form the backbone of whether or not an interviewer will deem you to be the right candidate for the role. However, some people insist that apart from the candidate’s first impression, many other criteria determine if the candidate is a good fit for the job. I agree with the latter statement and will put my points forth in the following paragraphs.

Firstly, a single meeting is not enough to gauge all the facets of someone’s personality that may be fruitful in helping the interviewer make the final call about accepting or rejecting the interviewee’s candidature. The first interview can surely help you understand a few parts of the interviewee’s personality, but not enough to make a final decision. For instance, an average job interview lasts between 30 to 45 mins, within which the interviewer can get to know about the current relevant degrees held by the interviewee, assess their body language, and discuss their personal interests and prior work experience. This discussion does not present a holistic opinion on the capabilities of the person that is needed to make the final judgement.

Furthermore, companies today conduct a series of interview rounds to test the candidate’s social and mental skills and together, all these rounds rank candidates. The best of whom lands the job! Most organisations lay emphasis on assessing the candidate’s logical reasoning and aptitude along with social skills to ensure that they will be able to mix up well and work with their colleagues. For instance, top-tier MNCs today subject their job applicants to many serious rounds of discussions and tests to be fully sure they are the right fit. First impressions do matter in the entire process but are not sufficient to help candidates secure the job.

To conclude, the perception that first impressions in an interview is enough to get you a good job is largely flawed, in my opinion. Elaborate discussions should be held over several meetings for the employer to then make the final employment call.

The way to score a high band score in the IELTS Writing Task 2 is through consistent practice. You must master the skill of developing an introductory paragraph and create a good first impression. The aim is to give a clear idea to the examiner about your excellent writing skills in English.

We hope this blog post gave you all the major pointers to help you leave that great first impression on the examiner.

For more tips on how to write winning IELTS essays on common themes, visit the Leap Scholar blogs!

Frequently Asked Questions

Which words should be avoided in first impression is important ielts essay.

As a general thumb rule, you should avoid any words that have a negative connotation attached to them and can rub the examiner the wrong way. These words include all vocabulary related to putting forth an offensive statement that disrespects other people’s views on a topic. For instance, words like imbecile, nonsense, stupid, unlearned, etc., should be steered clear off.

What are some samples of the IELTS band 9 essay?

On the LeapScholar blog website, you can read the sample answers for a large number of common themes often asked in the IELTS Writing Task. These essays can get you a high band score (even as high as 9!). So, make sure to check them all out during your IELTS preparation.

How can I improve my writing skills for IELTSwriting task?

To improve your writing skills for this type of writing task, you need to follow all the above-mentioned tips to help you leave a great first impression on the IELTS examiner. Additionally, you should also work on updating your vocabulary with new words little by little.

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By Joyce Carol Oates

An elderly person caresses the ghostly face of another person.

Audio: Joyce Carol Oates reads.

They were newly married, each for the second time after living alone for years, like two grazing creatures from separate pastures suddenly finding themselves—who knows why—herded into the same meadow and grazing the same turf.

That they were “not young,” though described by observers as “amazingly youthful,” must have been a strong component of their attraction to each other.

K__, a widow, and T__, divorced a decade previously (from a woman who was now deceased), each lonely amid a busy milieu of friends and colleagues. The widow believed herself more devastated by life than the new husband, whose reputation as a historian and a public intellectual reinforced the collective impression that he was a man whom life had treated well. Only she, once she was his wife, understood how self-doubting the husband was, how impatient with people who agreed with him, flattered him, and looked up to him.

Joyce Carol Oates on life as a mystery.

“Excuse me, darling. Thank you very much, but don’t humor me. ”

This remark, uttered to the wife in private, was both playful and a warning.

Soon after they were married, and living together in the husband’s house—the larger and more distinguished of their two houses, a sprawling, five-bedroom, dark-shingled American Craftsman with national-landmark status, on a ridge above the university—the husband woke the wife in the night, talking in his sleep, or, rather, arguing, pleading, begging in his sleep, in the grip of a dream from which the wife had difficulty extricating him.

The wife was awakened with a jolt. Scarcely knowing who this agitated person beside her was, his broad sweaty back to her, in what felt like an unfamiliar bed with a hard, unyielding mattress and a goose-feather pillow that was not at all soft, in a room whose dimensions and shadowy contours were alien to her.

Gently, the wife touched the husband’s shoulder. Gently, she tried to wake him, not wanting to alarm him. “Darling? You’re having a bad dream.”

With a shudder, the husband threw off the wife’s hand. He did not awaken but seemed to burrow deeper into the dream, as if held captive by an invisible, inaudible adversary; he did not want to be rescued. The wife was fascinated, though alarmed, by the way the husband had worked himself up into a fever state—the T-shirt and shorts he wore in lieu of pajamas were soaked through, and his body thrummed with an air of frantic heat, like a radiator into which steaming-hot water has rushed unimpeded. Fascinated, too, by the husband’s sleep-muffled words, which were almost intelligible. Like words in a foreign language that so closely resembles English you are led to think that meaning will emerge at any moment.

Podcast: The Writer’s Voice Listen to Joyce Carol Oates read “Late Love”

Yet none did. And now the husband had begun grinding his teeth as well as muttering.

He appeared to feel cornered, threatened. A low growl in his throat became a whimper, a plea. His legs twitched as though he were trying to run but could not because his ankles were bound.

Still, the wife hesitated. It seemed wrong to forcibly wake a person so deeply asleep and yet equally wrong, or worse, not to wake him from a nightmare. The wife recalled that when she was a girl an older relative was said to have died in his sleep of a massive heart attack, which his wife claimed had been caused by a nightmare. But might his wife waking him have precipitated the heart attack? Or might the impending heart attack have precipitated the nightmare?

Cautiously, the wife shook the husband’s shoulder again, hard enough to wake him mid-whimper.

Sudden silence in the husband—even his labored breathing ceased, and, in an instant, he was fully awake, holding himself rigid as if in the presence of an enemy.

Without touching him, the wife could feel the husband’s racing heartbeat. The bed quivered with his terror.

“Darling? Are you all right? It’s just . . . It’s me.”

And: “You were having such a bad dream. You were talking in your sleep.”

But the husband did not turn to her.

How strange this was! The muttering, pleading, and whimpering, and now this reaction. Totally unlike the husband in his waking life. . . .

How unlike, too, the wife’s first husband, who in thirty-six years of marriage had never once talked in his sleep, at least not like this. Never moaned or thrashed in a nightmare.

Close beside the husband, the wife lay hoping to calm, console, comfort, not by speaking further but with the solace of intimacy, as one might soothe a frightened child, allowing the husband to sense her presence. To hear her own, even breathing. It’s just me. Your wife, who loves you.

Naïvely, the wife supposed that in another moment or two the husband (ordinarily affectionate, sensible, matter-of-fact) would grasp the situation, throw off the nightmare, turn to gather her in his arms.

Except: had the husband possibly forgotten her? For theirs was a new marriage, not a year old. A lamb with spindly legs, uncertain on its feet. Vulnerable to predators.

Each day came a flurry of kisses, light and whimsical as butterflies. Silly jokes passed between them. Each was grateful for the other. Especially, the wife was grateful for the husband. But how long could this idyll last?

Finally, tension drained from the husband’s body. His shoulders relaxed; he breathed more regularly. Lapsing into a normal sleep.

Thank God! The wife felt enormous relief, as if she’d narrowly avoided danger.

Positioning herself to face outward, staring at the shadowy wall, the wife willed herself to rest, to fall asleep, even as, to her dismay, she began to hear a click-clicking sound behind her.

Alert and alarmed, the wife listened. Was this sound the husband’s teeth ?

His jaws were trembling convulsively, it seemed. As if he were very cold, shivering with cold. An eerie sound that stirred the hairs at the nape of the wife’s neck.

Again! The low, fearful, aggrieved muttering. What was the husband saying ? The wife listened, now fully awake.

Now miserably awake. Despairingly awake.

Trying to decipher the garbled words. Rough syllables of sound. Like grit flying in the air. The wife was filled with dread. Did she really want to know what the husband was saying in his sleep?

Wondering, too, if it was even ethical to eavesdrop like this. Especially on a husband in such a vulnerable state. As if his soul were naked.

In their daylight life, the wife would not have eavesdropped on the husband if she’d overheard him on the phone, for instance. Especially if he were speaking with such fervor.

Any sort of speech not directed consciously toward her the wife would have been hesitant to hear.

It was distressing to her that the (sleeping) husband bore so little resemblance to the man she knew, who had a deep baritone voice and exuded an air of imperturbable calm.

The man she knew stood well over six feet tall, with broad shoulders, a head of thick coppery-silver hair that flared back from his forehead, eyes that crinkled at the corners from smiling hard throughout his life. Swaths of coarse hair sprouted in his underarms, on his forearms and legs, on his back. The wife had never heard this man plead or whimper or whine.

The man beside her in the bed seemed both shorter than the man she knew and thicker, with a sweaty back that looked massive. The wife seemed to know that the (sleeping) husband’s belly would be slack, sagging with gravity. His genitals would be heavy yet flaccid, fleshy skin sacs reddened with indignation, like the wattles of an angry turkey.

As the wife listened, it seemed evident that the (sleeping) husband was engaged in some sort of dispute, in which he was, or believed himself to be, the aggrieved party; he was being teased, tormented, tortured. He was being made to grovel. Was the husband reliving a dispute with someone at the university? He’d retired as chair of the history department after twelve years, a remarkably long tenure for a university administrator; he was still active in university and professional affairs, and published frequently in his field of medical history.

All of this the wife had learned from others. For the husband’s manly vanity was such that he would never stoop to boasting of his accomplishments; nor would the wife have been comfortable if he had.

Of his previous marriage the husband rarely spoke. Nor did he encourage the wife to speak in any detail about her life before she’d met him.

“Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word ‘crypto with ‘A.I.”

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The first, deceased wife was a person few people talked about, though she was the mother of T__’s several adult children, now living in distant states.

She, the (new) wife, was hesitant to ask the husband personal questions. Out of shyness, fear that the husband would rebuke her, be annoyed.

She was so grateful to him for having tossed her a lifeline, a rope she had grasped to pull herself out of the seething muck of despair.

Many a night after the death of her first husband she’d considered taking her own life. Mesmerized by the grammar: Taking her own life—but taking it where ?

“Darling, please! Wake up. ”

Harder than she’d intended, the wife pushed the palm of her hand against the husband’s back.

“What! What’s wrong?” The husband woke abruptly.

“Darling, please, it’s just me. Are you all right?”

The wife could hear the husband breathing. She could picture his teeth bared in a glistening grimace, rivulets of oily sweat on his face.

“You’ve been having terrible dreams.”

She groped to switch on the bedside lamp, which was a blunder: fiercely the husband scowled over his shoulder at the wife, shading his squinting eyes against the light as if it were not a low-wattage bedroom light, the soft glow of marital intimacy, but a blinding beacon causing him pain.

“Jesus! It’s 3 A.M. Did you have to wake me up?”

“But you’ve been having a nightmare.”

“ You’ve been having a nightmare! Every goddam time I try to sleep you’ve been waking me up. Turn off that damn light. I have an early morning tomorrow.”

The wife quickly fumbled to turn off the lamp. She was speechless with surprise, chagrin. She could not even stammer an apology. Stunned by the husband’s face in the lamplight, contorted with fury and disgust and a kind of humiliation that she, the wife, the new wife, had seen him so exposed, rendered helpless by a nightmare.

The first time we see the other unclothed: the shock of the physical being, the bodily self , for which nothing can prepare us.

“I am so, so sorry. Can you forgive me?”

The wife had to wonder if the marriage had been a mistake.

A mis-take: taking something or someone for what he is not. Mis -apprehending.

The man the wife knew, or would have claimed to know, never behaved childishly, vindictively, foolishly. He was a handsome man who carried himself with dignity, confidence. He was easygoing, gracious, soft-spoken. He dressed casually but tastefully. He wore wire-rimmed glasses that gave him a youthful, scholarly look appropriate to his position in life. If he felt disapproval, he was likely to express his opinion quietly. That man did not make faces. He did not betray anger, rage.

The face of the man roused from sleep was rawly aggrieved, accusing. It was not a handsome face but coarse, fleshy. Its flushed skin was creased with fine wrinkles, and the eyes, lacking the wire-rimmed glasses, were as puffy and red as the eyes of a thwarted bull.

In such a panicked beast there is danger, the wife knew, and she shuddered.

All of this was ridiculous! Of course.

The sort of thing one thinks only at night.

The husband slept, the wife lay awake listening to the husband’s heavy breathing. Thank God this seemed to be an ordinary sleep.

Now, in this precarious calm, the wife began to question what had happened. Thinking the husband might not have seen her , exactly. He’d been surprised by being roughly awakened; his brain had not been fully functioning.

This was altogether plausible. This was consoling, though problematic: If my husband is not seeing me, then who is he seeing ?

By degrees, the wife sank into sleep. A warmly murky penumbra rose to envelop her, like mud stirred in water.

On a beach, in cold, brittle sand, she was trying to walk barefoot without turning an ankle, a frothy surf sweeping over her feet, washing unspeakable things onto the sand: wriggling transparent jellyfish, squirming dark-splotched eels, ravaged eyeless fish, skeins of fetid seaweed. And one of these unspeakable things was the thought that the husband had (possibly) murdered the last woman who’d slept in this bed in the American Craftsman house on a ridge above the university, which had come to be a landmark in the community, at which the wife herself had stared from time to time in admiration, though not envy.

This was the explanation! The husband with rage-engorged eyes had seen another woman in the bed. The (former) wife, surely. He’d murdered her in his sleep in a rage. Because she’d seen him naked, in the sweat-soaked T-shirt and shorts. Peered into his craven soul.

No man will forgive a woman for having seen him broken.

Had he strangled her? The husband did have strong hands.

For how else could a husband impulsively murder a wife in their bed? He wouldn’t be likely to stab or shoot her—that would defile the bedclothes, allow blood to soak into the mattress and box springs.

Well—suffocation, also. That was a possibility.

More likely perhaps than strangulation, which would require strength, stamina, patience. Having to look into the (dying) wife’s eyes as they clouded over, became unfocussed.

Pressing one of these thick goose-feather pillows over the wife’s face. Over both nose and mouth. Holding down the frantic, thrashing wife, incapable of opening her mouth to scream.

But which pillow? Would T__ have actually kept the pillow with which he’d suffocated his (first) wife, or would he have disposed of it?

But no. The thought was preposterous, terrible—the thought of the goose-feather pillow pressed over a face.

Absurd, yet also thrilling.

How can you be so ridiculous, ungrateful ? This man saved your life. This is a man who loves you, whom you love. This man who hauled you out of oblivion.

Abruptly, it was morning.

The wife’s eyes opened, amazed. (What had happened to the night?)

Alone in the fourposter bed. Hearing, from the adjoining bathroom, the thrumming sound of a shower.

Hearing the husband, in the shower, humming to himself. The husband who described himself as a “morning person.”

Sunshine spilled through a window.

For this is the logic of daylight: whatever has happened in the night fades like images on a screen when the lights come on.

Hurriedly, the wife changed the rumpled, stale-smelling bedclothes. Yanked the sheets from the bed, struggled to shake the goose-feather pillows out of their soiled cotton cases.

Later, on the back terrace, where the husband liked to have breakfast in good weather, the wife brought the Times to him as soon as it was delivered; the husband glanced up, smiling at her, clearly remembering nothing of the night.

“Thank you, darling!” He playfully seized the wife’s hand, kissing the moist palm.

Darling. The wife knew herself vindicated, beloved.

Several nights later, the wife was again awakened by a low guttural muttering close beside her in the dark. And an eerie click-clicking of shivering teeth, like castanets.

Awakened with a jolt in the darkness of an unfamiliar room.

And the thick, uncomfortably hard goose-feather pillow beneath the wife’s head, which made her neck ache—this, too, was disorienting.

In the early days of the marriage, the wife had substituted a smaller pillow on her side of the bed, but the husband had noticed at once, had objected in his lightly ironic, elliptical way, noting that when a flat pillow was placed beside the goose-feather pillow the handmade afghan that covered the bed looked lumpy, asymmetrical—“like a woman who has had a single mastectomy, the symmetry of a beautiful body destroyed.”

Mastectomy! The wife had laughed, wincing. The analogy was so unexpected. But the husband was smiling, the wife saw. He’d meant only to be witty.

Twenty past one. They’d been in bed for a little more than an hour. That night they’d gone to dinner at the home of old friends of the husband’s, who’d known the first wife but were cordial and welcoming to the new wife. The evening had been a strain for the wife, but the husband had been relaxed in a way the wife hadn’t seen him before, drinking more than usual—though not excessively, for the husband did nothing in excess. Just two or three glasses of a (supposedly) delicious Argentinean red wine that the wife had found too tart. Not that the wife knew much about wine, whether red or white, Argentinean or other.

The husband had fallen asleep as soon as they’d gone to bed, but the wife had lain awake thinking over the evening, the way one might replay a video hoping to detect small details that had been overlooked the first time, seeing again the genial hosts exchanging glances when the wife was speaking as if—just possibly—they were comparing the new wife with the former, now deceased wife, whom they’d known for many years. But how they felt about the new wife, what the meaning of their glances was, the wife had no idea.

“Do you think your friends liked me?” the wife had dared to ask in the car as the husband drove them home, though she knew that the question would embarrass or annoy the husband, who did not like his wife to express neediness, or wistfulness, or disingenuous naïveté; and the husband had laughed, not unkindly, curtly saying, “Of course! Of course they did.”

But not expanding on the subject. Not encouraging the wife to ask further foolish questions. Not asking the wife if she had liked his friends, or had enjoyed the evening, or hoped to repeat it.

Her friends the wife wasn’t eager to introduce to the husband. The friends she’d known during her marriage of thirty-six years did not seem to her nearly so interesting as the (new) husband’s friends; nor did the (new) husband express any eagerness to meet them.

The wife lay awake tormenting herself with such thoughts. Like fleas or bedbugs, leaping thoughts that were both inconsequential and biting, vexing. Gradually she drifted into sleep, descending a staircase and stumbling on the final step, which somehow she hadn’t seen because a buzzing of flies had distracted her, loud buzzing horseflies; and suddenly she was jolted awake by a person, a presence, close beside her in the dark, a bulky figure weighing down his half of the bed, muttering to himself, grinding his teeth like castanets, moving his legs jerkily as if he were caught in some sort of net or web—which frightened the wife more than she’d been frightened previously, for now she would have to acknowledge that these “bad dreams” were frequent in the husband’s nocturnal life, and thus would be in her nocturnal life as well.

Dazed, thinking, But who have I married?

In the intervening days since the first night of interrupted sleep, there had been no evident alteration in the husband, who’d behaved as affectionately as before. No memory, no shadow of the unfortunate interlude fell between them. The wife felt a twinge of vertigo, almost of nausea, watching the husband’s mouth as he spoke to her in his affable-husband manner, and recalling the ferocious scowl of the man exposed by lamplight, exuding heat, sweat, smelling of armpits, crotch hair, fetid feral odors, though the husband in daylight was fresh-showered, fresh-shaved, his coppery-silver hair abundant except at the very crown of his head, his eyes of washed-blue glass utterly frank, guileless. It would have taken an effort of memory to summon the bloodshot eyes glittering with rage at her in the lamplight, and to what purpose such effort?

Nor had the wife brought up the subject of the husband’s “bad dreams”—of course not.

The wife was not a naïve young bride but a middle-aged woman who knew better than to dwell upon distressing subjects, especially since she was a new wife wanting only to please the new husband.

After her first husband had died, leaving her to ponder the possibility of taking her own life, she had been given another chance. If she could succeed in making this man happy, she would save herself as well as him. Quite a blunder it had been, switching on that lamp at 3 A.M. !

And now she was carefully minding her every step. She hadn’t said a word about that nightmare night to the husband. In fact, she’d forgotten it—or nearly.

Some vague silly dream of hers involving the goose-feather pillow, how such a hefty pillow might be pressed over a face . . .

Her face? Ridiculous.

Nor had the wife made inquiries into the death of the husband’s former wife. The wife hadn’t even attempted an online search for an obituary of the former wife. For nothing could be more ludicrous than suspecting the husband of—whatever it was. . . .

The husband was whimpering in his sleep, as if he knew very well what the wife was suspecting him of. Short, piteous cries, rueful, wounded. Shifting his shoulders from side to side, as if trying to free himself from some sort of restraint that allowed him only an inch or two of movement: the wife envisioned a nightmare cobweb in which the husband was caught like an insect; the more he writhed the more entangled he was, and the wife, lying close beside him in the rumpled bed, in immediate danger of being trapped in the web as well and devoured by—what?

The wife’s heart was beating hard, in anticipation of waking the husband. Waking him and incurring his wrath. For she believed that she had no choice: she could see that the husband, in his craven, broken way, was suffering.

A stricken animal, in the blindness of pain, might lash out, claw, and bite.

Tremulously, the wife lifted a hand to touch the husband’s shoulder. The husband’s back was turned to her. She could only imagine his face, the red-rimmed eyes, the mouth twisted in anguish. She felt an anticipatory excitement, or dread, as if with all the best intentions she were about to tumble over a precipice.

An aphorism of Pascal’s came to her: We run carelessly to the precipice, after we have put something down before us to prevent us from seeing it.

“Darling? Please, wake up!”

Shaking his shoulder. Once, twice.

The husband woke with a grunt, in an instant alert, vigilant.

“Are you all right? You’ve been having a . . .”

The wife was anxious to sound not accusing but comforting, protective.

“. . . a bad dream.”

But the husband denied it, irritably. “God damn. I have not. I haven’t been asleep.”

He did sound fully awake now, and very annoyed. She was the one who’d been having a bad dream, whimpering in her sleep and grinding her teeth.

Whimpering in her sleep! Her!

The wife was determined not to argue. The husband would have his way as a child might, in circumstances that confused and upset him.

“I—I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”

Rebuked, the wife could only retreat.

(For there is always the possibility, if we retreat, if we apologize, if we are convincing in our self-abnegation, that the one who has been angry at us might yet be beguiled into feeling sorry for us.)

He is frightened. He will lash out. Do not accuse him.

Whatever had been tormenting the husband faded quickly once he was awake. There was that consolation, at least.

For some minutes, the wife and the husband lay in silence side by side without touching. The husband vibrated with indignation, dislike. Unable to acknowledge that he’d been in the grip of a nightmare, though he must have wondered why his T-shirt and shorts were damp with sweat.

Abruptly then, he stood up, swinging his legs out of bed and heaving himself to his feet. In that instant, the husband was crass, clumsy, as the wife had never seen him before.

Whereas usually the husband took care not to disturb the wife if he had to use the bathroom at night, now he was rudely oblivious of her presence, making his way heavy-footed across the room and not troubling to close the bathroom door; the bathroom fan throbbed loudly, the bathroom light glared, the husband urinated noisily into the toilet bowl for what seemed like a very long time while the wife lay miserably awake and finally pressed the palms of her hands over her ears thinking, He has forgotten me! He has forgotten that he has a (living) wife!

When the husband returned, leaving the bathroom light on, he half fell into bed, making the springs creak in protest. Almost immediately he was asleep, his hoarse breath coming in long, slow strokes.

The wife smarted as if her cheeks had been slapped.

She had no choice, however, but to leave the bed and turn off the bathroom light (which would also switch off the noisy fan). Wincing at the husband’s rudeness even as she tried to tell herself that he was clearly not fully awake—it was possible he’d been walking in his sleep and so was not to blame for his bad manners.

The fact was: if the husband had been fully awake, he’d have been stunned and mystified by his own behavior.

In the bathroom, the wife closed the door. At least the fan had cleared away some of the stale air of the bedroom, the panic odor that rose from the husband’s skin.

Steeling herself for what she might see, the wife peered at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. There floated the pale, strained, masklike face of a woman terrified that her husband might no longer love her and that harm might come to her as a consequence.

Cooling her face with cold water cupped in trembling hands, she noticed that her pupils, in the mirror, appeared unnaturally dilated, like the eyes of a wild creature.

She saw then, in the sink, a dark smudged ring around the drain, as if something oily had been washed down. There was a faint scummy smell as well, as if of a sewer.

She saw then, on the bathroom floor, in a corner beside the sink, a speckled black thing like a large slug, about three inches in length, with tiny tawny eyes; as she looked more closely, the creature slid beneath the sink and disappeared into the grouting.

Barefoot, the wife leaped back. What was this! She stifled a cry of alarm.

Recalling having looked through books in the husband’s study, in a bookcase filled with old medical texts. Books so old they practically disintegrated in her hands. Histories of early medicine, bloodletting, trepanning, drawings of ghoulish procedures long faded from medical practice . . .

No idea why she was remembering these old books of the husband’s now. She was very tired, not thinking clearly.

For it was nearly 3 A.M . She must sleep!

She didn’t return to the bed to lie beside the snoring husband but slipped quietly from the room and made her way to a guest room, to a smaller bed where she might sleep undisturbed, in a room that was also unfamiliar to her, yet not intimidating or discomforting, a room in which she might be blessedly alone.

This room, half the size of the master bedroom, had belonged to the husband’s daughter when the daughter had lived at home, years before.

Trying to sleep, in patches, the wife crossed a rushing stream on stepping stones that were unsteady beneath her feet; below them, in the water, swarms of small dark sluglike creatures waited for her bare feet to slip.

Before dawn, she woke in time to quietly return to the husband, to slide into bed beside him as he lay sleeping, feeling immense relief that she’d returned without the husband realizing she’d been gone.

For the wife knew that the husband would be hurt if he understood that she’d crept away out of fear of him, revulsion for him.

Cunning, the wife lay close against the husband’s back, as one might huddle against a sheltering wall.

And then it was morning. Sunlight between the slats of the venetian blinds like warm gauze bandages.

It seemed amazing to the wife that she’d fallen asleep so easily in the fourposter bed, beside the husband. She had!

And the most restful, restorative sleep of her life.

Waking now, alone in bed, hearing the husband humming to himself in the shower, the sound of the shower not disturbing but soothing. Out of consideration for the wife, the husband had shut the bathroom door securely.

Of course the wife loved this husband. Deeply, unquestioningly.

She would change the bedclothes, open a window, and air out the stale-smelling room, the pigsty-bed. But in no hurry. After the husband had left for the day.

Before that, on the back terrace, as usual the wife brought the Times to him as soon as it was delivered. “Thank you, darling!” the husband said, smiling.

As if nothing grotesque had happened in the night to turn them against each other.

As if the husband had not wanted to murder the wife, the wife terrified for her life.

For if the husband could so easily forget, the wife was resolved to forget also.

Still, that evening at dinner, the wife heard herself say to the husband, as if impulsively, “You seem to be having bad dreams lately.” Meaning to sound sympathetic, not at all accusatory.

Sharply, the husband replied, frowning, “Do I? I don’t think so.”

“You don’t remember?”

“ ‘Remember’ what?”

“A bad dream you had last night? A nightmare?”

“ ‘A bad dream’? Am I a child, to have ‘bad dreams’?”

The husband smiled patiently at the wife as if humoring her.

The wife smiled back inanely, not knowing how to continue. Not knowing why she’d brought up this subject when (she was sure) she’d been determined not to.

“I . . . was wondering if . . . if something . . .”

The wife’s words trailed off weakly. Oh, why had she brought up the subject!

The husband was watching her with an ironic gaze as a parent might watch a child blundering into something easily avoided if only the child would look where it was going.

“Yes, darling? You were wondering—what?”

“If something was on your mind, if . . . you might want to talk about it.”

“ ‘Talk about it’ with you ?”

“Why wouldn’t you talk about it with me? I am your wife.” The wife was frightened all of a sudden.

( Was she this man’s wife? How had that happened?)

Thoughts swarmed in the wife’s brain. She had wanted only to sympathize with the husband, to reassure him that, if he was troubled about something, if there were dark thoughts intruding upon his sleep, she was on his side.

Trying again, in a soft, sympathetic voice that was not at all reproachful, she said, “Lately, you’ve seemed to be having agitated dreams. You’ve been awakened by—”

“Awakened by you , as I recall. Last night.”

“You’ve been having nightmares.”

“ You’ve been having nightmares. Waking both of us.”

The wife fell silent. She felt as if she were besieged by large insects buzzing about her head, but it was just the husband speaking patiently, as if addressing a particularly slow student.

“Keep in mind, darling: dreams are wisps, vapor. Fleeting. Silly. Aristotle thought that dreams were just remnants of the day shaken into a new configuration of no great significance. Pascal thought that life itself was ‘a dream a little less inconstant.’ Freud thought dreams were ‘wish fulfillment’—which tells us nothing at all, if you examine the statement. But all agree that dreams are insubstantial, therefore negligible. You make yourself ridiculous trying to decipher them.”

The wife wanted to protest; it wasn’t her dreams she was speaking of but his.

There is nothing negligible about the nightmares you are enduring.

But she understood that the husband felt threatened by the subject, and quickly dropped it.

Like an athlete who learns a game only in the scrimmage of the playing field, the wife would learn to decode the husband’s most inscrutable moods. The wife would learn to anticipate the husband’s bad dreams before he succumbed to them. The wife would learn how to protect her own life.

Soon she discovered that the first (deceased) wife had no history.

No information online. No obituary. When she typed in the former wife’s name, a blunt message appeared on the computer screen in blue font:

This site has been discontinued due to a violation of the terms of service or program policies. Displaying this content is prohibited.

The wife wanted to protest. The name she’d typed out was not a site but a human being, a woman!

Yet to whom could the wife protest? No matter how many search engines she tried, each time she typed the former wife’s name the same message came up: Discontinued.

But how was it possible that the husband’s former wife had no history?

When the new wife made inquiries about the former wife, she was met with faces as blank as Kleenex.

Alvira, who came each Friday to clean the house, as she’d done for the past twenty-five years, laughed nervously when the wife asked about the former wife (“Did you see her, after the divorce? Do you know what kind of illness she had, what caused her death? How long after the divorce was it when she died?”), backing away, dragging the vacuum cleaner with her. “ ¡Lo siento, no entiendo! ”

(Which was certainly not true, for the wife had overheard Alvira speaking English with the husband. Only with the wife did she speak a kind of half English, half Spanish, such as a child who did not want to engage in conversation might.)

In the grocery store, by chance, she encountered her husband’s friend Alexandra, who seemed at first friendly enough but became stiff-faced and evasive when, in the most indirect of ways, the wife alluded to the husband’s former wife. “Sorry, I’m in a rush. Another time, maybe!”—hurriedly pushing away her grocery cart as the wife gazed after her, stunned by the woman’s rudeness.

Only once had the wife met the husband’s adult children, who were (technically) her stepchildren—and how disorienting to have adult stepchildren whom she scarcely knew. Even the husband’s forty-year-old daughter, with whom the wife felt a tentative rapport, she was hesitant to ask about the (former) wife, who was the daughter’s mother, dreading the (step)daughter’s shocked, cold eyes. Have you no shame ? Who are you ? Go away , we will never love you.

The wife could not risk it. Could not risk having the daughter tell the husband, and how annoyed the husband would be, or worse.

Why are you asking my daughter such questions ? Who are you , to ask such questions ?

In the early weeks of their relationship the husband had made it clear to the wife that the past, to him, was not a happy place, nor was it a “fecund” or “productive” place—which was why he’d so thrown himself into his work and achieved for himself a “modicum of success” but was also why he preferred to live in the present tense.

“Which is why I love you, darling. You are the future, to me. A new marriage is a new start requiring a new calendar.”

The wife had been deeply moved, deeply grateful. She had been faint with love.

“Ill draw them out with the cheese platter but its up to you to entertain them.”

Soon, then, the wife began to forget swaths of her own life: exactly where she and her (first) husband had lived, in a residential neighborhood in the “flatlands” of the university town; how long it had been since her (first) husband had died, and since they’d met; where exactly the furnishings of her former house were, which she’d had to put into storage when she moved into the (new) husband’s house. A half-dozen boxes packed with the wife’s most cherished books had been stored in the basement of the (new) husband’s house, but when she’d looked for the boxes she couldn’t find them, amid a chaos of duct-taped crates, discarded furniture and appliances, old TVs, microwaves.

Wandering in the cellar of the unfamiliar house, unable for some frantic minutes to find the stairway leading up, the wife had begun to have difficulty breathing.

A new marriage is a new start. A new calendar.

What is it? A curious tingling sensation on the wife’s nose and cheeks, a similar sensation in the soft skin of her armpits, on her breasts, her stomach, the insides of her thighs. Itching, stinging, not entirely unpleasurable. She tries weakly to brush the sensation away, tries to touch her nose, where it is strongest, but cannot for her arms are paralyzed.

Help! Help me!

She is crying, wailing—yet in silence. Her mouth moves grotesquely, opening wide, a gaping O, her jaws quivering, convulsing. She tries to move her arms, her hands—a terrible numbness has suffused her limbs, rendering them useless. In desperation she manages to turn her head to one side, then to the other—thrashing her head from side to side to dislodge something from her face, her nose, which is stinging harder now, hurting.

Waking suddenly, out of a deep sleep. Her exhausted brain begins to clatter like a runaway machine.

“Help me! Please!”

There is something on her nose and cheeks, nestled tight in her armpits.

With all her strength, the wife manages to stumble from the bed and into the bathroom, fumbles to switch on the light, sees to her horror, in the mirror above the sink, something stuck to her nose, slimy-dark, fattish, rubbery, alive—is it a leech ?

A half-dozen leeches on her face, the underside of her jaw, her throat . . .

She screams, tearing with her nails at the leech affixed to her nose until she rips it away, bloated with her blood. The thing falls dazed and squirming to the floor. Her nose is red where the leech’s tiny teeth sank into her skin; her cheeks are dotted with bloody droplets. She is frantic with horror and disbelief, clawing at her armpits, at her breasts. More leeches fall to the floor, where blood leaks from them, her blood.

The wife has never seen a leech. Not a living leech. Only photographs of leeches. In medical-history books, in her husband’s library. Yet she recognizes these bloodsucking slugs. She is aghast, hyperventilating, can’t catch her breath. In terror of losing consciousness. Her bones turned to liquid, she collapses to the floor, where dozens of leeches writhe, waiting to attack her anew.

In that instant, the light in the room brightens.

Near-blinding as the husband calls her name. Shakes her shoulders. Speaking urgently to her, “Wake up, darling! Wake up!” And she is free; she is awake. Not in the bathroom but in bed. In the fourposter bed where (evidently) she has been sleeping. Rescued by the husband from a terrible nightmare.

The husband, his face creased in concern, is asking the wife what she has been dreaming. What has frightened her so? But the wife is unable to speak—she is still in the grip of the nightmare, her throat closed tight.

No intention of telling the husband about leeches, no intention of speaking the obscene word aloud— leech.

Gradually, in the husband’s arms, the exhausted wife falls asleep.

Do not abandon me! I have no one but you.

The former wife speaks so faintly that the new wife can barely hear.

Alone in the house in the dimly lit cellar, searching for her missing, cherished books but also for the (possible? probable?) place of interment of the former wife.

Hours prowling the cellar. While the husband is away.

So many duct-taped boxes! So many locked suitcases, piled in a corner!

The new wife has to concede that, if the former wife’s remains are hidden somewhere in this vast underground mausoleum, she, the new wife, is not likely to ever locate them: the husband has covered his tracks too cleverly.

The husband’s daylight self is the perfect cover for the husband’s nighttime self. Who but a wife would guess?

It is the new wife’s guess, too, that the husband must have drugged the former wife, so that when he pressed the goose-feather pillow over the woman’s face she was too shocked and too weak to save herself.

Too weak to save herself, let alone overpower the much stronger husband.

Do not make my mistake. Do not trust in love.

Go to his medicine cabinet, where there are pills dating back years. Choose the strongest barbiturates. Grind these into a fine white powder.

Stir this fine white powder into his food. A highly spiced dish is recommended.

Wait then until he is deeply asleep. Have patience. Do not hurry before daring to position the goose-feather pillow over his face and press down hard.

And once you have pressed down hard do not relent. No mercy! Or he will revive, and he will murder you.

Render helpless the enemy, for self-defense is the primary law of nature.

But the next nights are dreamless nights. So far as the wife can recall.

Then, sleeping guardedly one night, she sees (clearly, through narrowed eyes) the husband approaching the bed in which she, the wife, is sleeping.

It is late in the night. A moonless night. Yet the wife can see how the husband approaches her side of the bed in stealth, with patience and cunning; how he smiles down at her, the (drugged) wife, how he smiles in anticipation of what he is going to do to her, a rapacious smile the wife has never seen before; and when the husband determines that the (drugged) wife will not awaken he takes out of a container the first of the slimy black creatures, a wriggling leech about three inches in length, and gently places it on the wife’s nose.

In her benumbed, narcotized state, the wife cannot defend herself against the husband as he carefully positions leeches in her armpits, between her breasts, on her belly, where her skin shivers with the touch of the leech, and in the wiry hairs at the fork in her legs. A lone leech, the last in the container, the husband places in the bend of the wife’s right knee, where the flesh is soft and succulent.

A dozen leeches, all roused to appetite. Piercing the wife’s skin and injecting an anticoagulant into her blood.

In agonized silence the wife cries, No! Help me! Please help me!

“Darling, wake up! You’re having a bad dream.”

Fingers grip the wife’s shoulders hard, give her a rough shake. Her eyelids flutter open.

In the dark that is not total darkness, she is astonished to see a figure leaning over her, in bed beside her. Telling her, as one might tell a frightened child, that she has had a bad dream but she is awake now, she is safe.

Where is she? In a bed? But whose?

Naked inside a nightgown. A thin cotton nightgown, soaked in perspiration, that has hiked up her thighs.

Frantically her hands grope her body—nose, cheeks, jaw, breasts, belly. Only smooth skin.

In this bed in this room she doesn’t recognize. Then she recalls: she is married (again).

One of them reaches for the bedside lamp and turns it on. Each seeing the other’s face haloed suddenly in the darkness. ♦

This is drawn from “ Flint Kill Creek: Stories of Mystery and Suspense .”

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COMMENTS

Several Reasons Why First Impressions Aren't Always Reliable
Like the cover of a book, first impressions are not always right, it can be inaccurate, and not as true as what it really is. It is true that everyone often makes a wrong judgment on first impressions, people who are of a different nationality, race, and ethnicity, they can skew and invalidate first impression because they have different ways ...
First Impression is always not right Free Essay Example
Views. 18970. First impressions are often formed when people observe others for the first time and use those observations to determine their personality traits. "You should never judge a book by its cover" this means that not everything is what it appears to be especially people. Some people believe that a person's first impression is generally ...
Have You Ever Worried About Making a Good First Impression?
In " First Impressions ," a winning essay from our 2019 Personal Narrative Contest for students, Isabel Hui writes about a time when she hoped to make a good impression — and what she ...
Judging Others Based On First Impression: [Essay Example], 1197 words
It is a topic that has been debated for many years. People tend to form opinions based on first impressions, which are often unreliable indicators of a person's true character. This can happen due to a person's physical appearance, clothes, voice, and movement, which can all create a certain image in the minds of others.
Some people say that your first impressions when you meet ...
First impressions, without a doubt, have great importance, but they do not always reveal the real characteristics of a person, and I believe that first impressions are not always accurate. This essay discusses why first impressions may often be deceptive and less important in judging someone | Band: 6.5
IELTS Essay # 1188
Sample Answer 1: [Disagreement] First impressions, without a doubt, have great importance, but they do not always reveal the real characteristics of a person, and I believe that first impressions are not always accurate. This essay discusses why first impressions may often be deceptive and less important in judging someone.
Essay about First Impressions Are Not Always Correct
Essay about First Impressions Are Not Always Correct. It takes more than a casual "hello" down the hallway to truly know a person. It is actually very difficult, and takes time, to know someone on a personal level. As human beings we often base our perceptions of people off of what we have heard.
How to Make a Great First Impression
How to Make a Great First Impression. by. Rebecca Knight. September 12, 2016. Save. The saying "You only have one chance to make a first impression" holds true in many situations, from job ...
The Complete Guide to First Impressions Essay
First Impression Essay: First impressions are everything. They can make or break a person, company, service or product. That's why it is so important to make a good first impression. ... Although this is not always the case, it can have a lasting impact on the other person and also affects the outcome of a potential relationship.
Meta-Accuracy of Very First Impressions: A Mini Review
Abstract. The meta-accuracy of first impressions (i.e., how accurately one understands others' perception of oneself) can be conceptualized and measured in various ways. In order to reduce conceptual and methodological overwhelm, facilitate understanding of the topic, and stimulate future work in the field, we conducted a brief introductory ...
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First Impression Significance Essay. Exclusively available on IvyPanda. The first meeting of two people makes up the most importance in their relationship. On the first encounter between two or more people, each undoubtedly asks unconsciously whether the other person will be fit for them in terms of the objective of their meeting.
Your first impressions when you meet someone are always right
The first impression, without a doubt, has a great importance, but it does not always reveal the true characteristics of a person and I personally believe that first impressions are not always accurate. This essay discusses why the first impression may often be deceptive and less important in judging someone | Band: 6.
How to Make a Good First Impression
Nonverbal signals can convey a great deal of information, so it is important to make sure that your body language reinforces the impression you are trying to make. Maintain an open posture and make sure you keep your body angled toward the other person. Sit or stand straight and keep your arms at your sides and your legs straight.
Are First Impressions: Are They Always Correct?
First impressions are not always right. This is what this essay is about, and my opinion is that you should not judge even though it's hard not to. I've stereotyped and judged a person by their looks, but I was wrong and it made me feel bad. He was a good guy and he became one of my best friends.
Please review my first college essay on "First Impressions"
First Impressions They say that you should never judge a book by its cover, and, especially regarding people, it's true. In this case, the "cover" is not necessarily meaning the appearance, but the first impression of another person. Like the cover of a book, first impressions are not always as appealing as what is really there. It's not until after you start "reading", or get to ...
Analysing The Importance of The First Impression
If to talk about the importance of the first impression, we need to say that there is well known 90/90 rule. Its meaning is that 90% of submission about someone is formed in the first 90 seconds of communication. Creating the first impression is rather complex process, which has a psychological structure, dynamics and feedbacks of all kinds.
IELTS Essay # 1307
Model Answer: First impressions play a significant role in shaping our initial perceptions of others. While some argue that these impressions are important and should be given weight, others advocate for reserving judgment and taking the time to truly understand a person. This essay will discuss both perspectives and argue that while first ...
First impressions are important
First impression is always considered to be best impression for majority of the people. ... You need to structure your essay more logically by including well-developed paragraphs. Aim for a clear introduction, at least two to three body paragraphs each focusing on a separate idea, and a conclusion that restates your main points and opinion ...
First Impression Is Important IELTS Essay: Ace Your IELTS First
First impressions are often believed to form the backbone of whether or not an interviewer will deem you to be the right candidate for the role. However, some people insist that apart from the candidate's first impression, many other criteria determine if the candidate is a good fit for the job. I agree with the latter statement and will put ...
First impression is not always the best Free Essays
first impression. 2014 First Impression is always not right. First impressions are often formed when people observe others for the first time and use those observations to determine their personality traits. "You should never judge a book by its cover" this means that not everything is what it appears to be especially people.
First impressions are not always the best essay
Barby Lebenslauf First impressions are not always the best essay Koln Auerbach in der Oberpfalz abstract essay beispiel Dingolfing (Bayern) 1000 word research essay Frankfurt am Main. 500 word ...
Essays Page 5 First impression is not always the best Free Essays
First Impressions Summary: The original title for Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen was First Impressions.Even though Pride and Prejudice is a well thought out title for the novel‚ First Impressions is what the novel really is about. The novel is based on Elizabeth and what her impressions are about the people she decided to associate herself with. ...
"Late Love," by Joyce Carol Oates
Podcast: The Writer's Voice. Listen to Joyce Carol Oates read "Late Love". Yet none did. And now the husband had begun grinding his teeth as well as muttering. He appeared to feel cornered ...