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What Do Colleges Look for in an Essay? Examples & Tips

what colleges look for in admissions essay

What is a College Essay?

The college essay is an essential element of the college application process. It presents an opportunity for students to personalize their college application, beyond grades and scores. It can also be one of the more nerve-wracking parts of the application process. 

If you are reading this article, you are like applying to college and taking the process seriously. The quality of the college you attend will have a big effect on your entire life, and taking a few hours to make your application the best it can possibly be may be the most lucrative time investment you will ever make.

What do colleges look for in an essay from applicants?

So, what do colleges look for in an essay? The answer is similar to what colleges look for in an applicant. To hit the right notes, you need to consider the perspective and even the mission statement of the college, which of course values intelligence, a good work ethic, and the type of personality that will represent the school. 

Therefore, the core aspects that admissions officials at any institution look for in an essay are:

·         Intelligence

·         Strong communication skills

·         Ambition and goals

·         Creativity

·         Proactivity and self-direction

·         Interest in education and self-betterment

These elements are not based on any abstract moral consideration–colleges want students who will make their institution stronger. They will look for evidence of these traits in your personal essay, as grades only reflect a few of these core aspects and abilities. 

Beyond these considerations, remember that an admissions officer (an actual human being) will read your essay and respond to it both rationally and emotionally. In many cases, that emotion is boredom. Keep in mind that these officials read hundreds of application essays each admissions season. But if your essay can successfully win them over, then you’ll be getting a letter that begins with a “We are delighted to announce…”

Qualities Colleges Look for to Include in Your Essay

Most achievements that colleges are looking for will be reflected in your college application, and therefore, these have been left off of the list below. The achievements showing your passion and drive, as well as your internal and external motivations, will be the ones to include in your application essay. 

Challenging extracurricular activities

Colleges want to see students who stretch themselves beyond the limits of the classroom. The kinds of activities you choose say a lot about your personality and even your morals. Whether or not you stick with your chosen undertakings exhibits your ability to commit to important projects in the long term.

Volunteer and work experience

Any experience you have that shows true commitment, leadership qualities and an interest in community is beneficial to your application. Include the organizations or companies you worked for and what your responsibilities were at each one. If you received any promotions or special recognitions, be sure to mention those as well.

Talents and passions

More colleges are moving away from accepting students who did the most “stuff” to looking for those who focus their energy in specific areas that they’re passionate about. Schools want to see what makes you special and how hard you’re willing to work at the things you care about.

Obstacles or challenges you have overcome

One of the most important aspects of a good college student is their ability to learn from mistakes and overcome challenges in order to achieve success. This is especially true for Common App Essay prompts . In your essay, focus on what exact difficulties or challenges you faced, how you overcame them, and what you learned from this experience. After all, admissions officials are more impressed by a student who came from an adverse situation and still achieved success than they are with a student who had every advantage handed to them and skated by on position and intelligence.

What is a well-written essay?

Admissions officers read a lot of essays, and a well-written one can make a refreshing change. Students should check their essays to make sure they clearly meet these criteria:

  • Does the essay provide a direct answer to the essay question?
  • Does it have a strong opening paragraph that captures the reader’s interest?
  • Does it put forth a comprehensive argument or narrative? Does the student make a point and stick to it?
  • Does it have a natural style that’s comfortable for the student and appropriate for the subject matter?
  • Did the student use effective word choice, syntax, and structure?
  • Does it contain correct grammar, punctuation, and spelling?
  • Is it succinct? Did the student pay attention to the recommended length?

How to Write About Positive Qualities in an Application Essay

The rule of thumb here is always “Show–don’t tell.” When writing a college essay, skip generalized information. Instead, provide real, specific examples to support your statements. Your attention to detail will help make you more memorable to an admissions officer who has to read hundreds, if not thousands, of essays. 

For example, instead of “I love hiking,” you could say, “After reaching the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro, I decided my next adventure would be climbing Mt. Everest.” What’s the difference between these two sentences? The first says you like something, while the second one illustrates that you do—but not only that, it also shows your level of commitment and your desire for challenge. Of the two example sentences, which do you think maximizes your use of words and would be more interesting to admissions officers?

Bad example: Claim without proof My teacher once told me that I was the most skilled and intelligent student she’s ever taught, and I believed her. When I set a goal, there’s no stopping me. I’ll work at it until it’s achieved—even if it’s to my own detriment.
Good example: Showing with concrete evidence In sophomore year, I decided to set a goal to raise more money for Relay for Life than any other student involved. I asked my neighbors, family, teachers, and even my paster, who sat through my 20-minute prepared speech about why donating to this campaign would be the best use of his money. I spoke to community groups. I did three straight weekends of door-to-door fundraising. And in the end, my efforts paid off—I succeeded in raising over $500 more than any other student.

Showing initiative and ambition

Initiative and ambition are top qualities that colleges look for in an applicant. Students who exhibit these traits will bring a positive and driven attitude with them to college, where it will help them contribute to the campus and succeed in their academic endeavors.

The college essay should always show how you took some kind of action—it shouldn’t just include things that happened to you as a passive individual. For example, rather than simply writing about how it was emotionally difficult when your older sibling got sick, discuss specific coping strategies you developed during that time or ways that you contributed to helping your sibling and family.

Showing self-reflection and growth

Personal growth is one of the most popular topics to write about since it represents what the admissions essay is all about: helping the college gain better insight into your personality and character. Some schools ask targeted questions — “What was the most challenging event you have ever faced, and how have you grown from it?” — while others leave the topic open: “Describe an event that has had great meaning for you. Explain why and how it has affected you.”

One of the most successful strategies is to use a past event as a lens through which you can assess who you were and the person you became, how you have grown and changed, and your transformation. Most children are curious, but were you the one who asked your teacher what caused the change of seasons of the year and then created a solar system model and explained the concept to your classmates? Though you may think that your topic needs to be bold and unique, this is not necessary to craft an effective essay. Instead, success lies in painting an accurate and vivid picture of yourself — one that will show admissions officers that you have much to offer their school.

Structure your essay with a clear beginning, middle, and end

When you include the basic plot elements of setting, introduction, conflict, and resolution, not only will your essay be more fun to read, it will be easier to write. And when writing is easier, you are usually having more fun and pouring more of yourself into your writing. You will find that this often translates into a more compelling story as well since passion and interest are hallmarks of any good story told to a friend or included on the page of an adventure or romance novel. When structuring your narrative arc, include the lessons you have learned from these experiences: How did you change? What did you learn? What did/do you plan to do differently because of these experiences? Anyone can write about how they won first place in a competition or spent a fantastic vacation in Europe. The important stuff is not in the itinerary, but rather in the diary–what you learned from the experience and how it impacted you.

Essay Introduction #1: Focus on Your Personal Qualities

One approach when beginning your application essay is to start by describing positive character traits you possess and then showing examples of times you demonstrated those traits.

Starting with your qualities A student wants to show that he is determined and tenacious. He thinks about times when he went above and beyond what was necessary to succeed in high school. He thinks of how he became the only student at his school to participate in three or more AP classes while also being involved in multiple sports and extracurricular activities. He also thinks of his volunteer work with his church at a local homeless shelter, where he made friends and connections with shelter guests and high-profile members of the community. These are the qualities around which his essay is focused.

Essay Introduction #2: Focus on a Personal Story

Another way to approach your essay topic is to start with a story and then work show examples that demonstrative your positive qualities.

Starting with a story A student’s sibling has been fighting cancer for the past three years, and he feels that this is an important experience that has shaped who he is today. He considers how the difficulties of this experience have changed him and help distinguish him from other applicants. 

From introducing his story at the beginning of his essay, this applicant can tie in the positive qualities he exhibits with the finer details of his personal story: 

  • He is independent, as he needed to deal with taking care of a loved one in a serious and sustained way that his peers did not need to deal with.
  • He is focused, as dealing with regular medical emergencies has not deterred him from achieving good grades and being part of his community.
  • He is empathetic, as he understands personally how hard times can impact people.

Whatever essay topic you choose, your essay should provide admissions officers concrete evidence that you are an ideal candidate for their school. Your essay should have a memorable introduction that grabs the reader’s attention and guides the rest of your essay.

Repeat Your Qualities in the Essay Conclusion

Although your essay introduction is crucial in starting your essay off in a clear and impactful direction, how you end your essay is also important as it is the last thing that will remain in the reader’s mind. One surefire way to write a strong essay conclusion is to repeat the important qualities you discussed earlier. Recall details about your personal story or repeat the qualities you introduced at the beginning of the essay. Here is an example of what a good conclusion can capture what colleges are looking for in an essay: 

Concluding your essay by repeating your qualities During my high school years, my qualities of leadership, initiative, and hard work have help shape me to become the strong student I am today. As the head of our school’s volunteer group, I showed that even a teenager can make a big impact. As a student achieving high grades in all three of my AP courses, I demonstrated my dedication to education about all. Finally, as a daughter of working-class immigrant parents, I have used my value of hard work to achieve things my parents never thought possible. These values have contributed to making me the conscientious and successful student and person I am now, and they will surely continue to assist and guide me in my academic and professional career.

Interesting Essay Topics to Write About

There are hundreds of resources available online about writing college essays (including How to Write the Common App Essay ). And while you can find dozens of interesting and fruitful essay topics that have worked, here are just a few more that are not too specific and can be molded to fit your unique profile and personal story. 

1. A unique extracurricular activity or passion 

2. An activity or interest that contrasts heavily with your profile

3. A seemingly insignificant moment that speaks to larger themes within your life 

4. Using an everyday experience or object as a metaphor to explore your life and personality 

5. An in-the-moment narrative that tells the story of an important moment in your life

Additional Tips for Writing an Essay Colleges Will Love

Choose a strong essay topic.

First, whichever structure you will use, you need to ask yourself what you actually want to accomplish in life (esp. in terms of career) . This gives you your goals. You need to choose a program that helps you reach these goals—otherwise, you should seriously reconsider whether you should even be applying!  

If you are using the “Story” structure…

The story is going to be your topic, so make it an engaging tale… but remember you are not here to show that you are the next Shakespeare. There are three ways to go here: a story/description about yourself that shaped who you are and shows who you are. A story/description of something completely different that inspires you or is a metaphor for who you are.

If you are using the “Conveying passion for a subject” structure…

In this case, you have your topic (the subject you are passionate about), but remember the essay should be about what it means to you (don’t get bogged down in describing the subject itself). Use each subsequent paragraph to illustrate how you show passion for the subject or topic you have chosen. Be sure to use concrete details within the paragraph, but begin each paragraph with a “mini-thesis statement” that gives the reader a clear and concise summary of how you demonstrate your passion in a particular way.

Engage the Reader with Your Essay’s Narrative

The admissions officer will not be interested in a mere list of your personal qualities, extracurriculars, or accomplishments. This information is included elsewhere in your application. Instead, focus on showing who you are in your essay through a narrative that includes concrete details. 

But how can you plan the topics included in your narrative essay? First, grab a pen and jot down important experiences that spring to mind. Your experience could be something negative that eventually turns out to be positive or vice-versa. The most intriguing part of a negative experience is how you handled it and, hopefully, came out on top. Give your reader a setting to help them feel like they’re a part of your story and experience this moment of change with you.

Focus on what you care about most

Consider this a kind of brainstorming exercise. Close your eyes and imagine what drives you, motivates you, excites you, and inspires you to pursue great things (or at least fantasize about doing them). This might include a hobby, a genre of music, an important person in your life, a pivotal memory or experience, a book—anything meaningful that you consider part of your identity or that defines you. 

Start by listing these items and creating a word web of other relevant or secondary aspects of this one idea, person, object, or experience. Write some brief sentences about exactly why it is important to you. Once you have your list and a few sentences written, it should be a bit easier to narrow your topic to just one or two things at most.

Essay Editing for College Application Essays

One thing all schools look for in an essay is a document that is free of errors in grammar, punctuation, mechanics, and style. Admissions essay editing services are ideal for international students who struggle with English or simply want to take their essays to the next level. Students should take care to choose a company that’s reputable and employs highly qualified editors .

Check out Wordvice’s array of professional English editing services and proofreading services , including essay editing services, to learn how our editors can improve your essays and help you get into your dream school.

Calculate for all schools

Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, what do colleges actually look for in application essays.

So, the main question plaguing me right now is: What are colleges actually trying to find out through our essays? I get that they want to know us better, but are there specific qualities or experiences that they prefer to read about? Or is it all about how well you can write? Just trying to understand the mindset behind the admissions process a little better.

It's wonderful that you're seeking to understand the college admissions process more deeply. Essays are a crucial opportunity for you to showcase your individuality beyond grades and test scores. Admissions officers are looking for authenticity and a clear sense of self. They're interested in how you reflect on your experiences, your values, and how you overcome challenges. It's not merely about showcasing a 'perfect' experience; rather, it's about the learning and growth that result from your experiences. Your ability to communicate effectively and write well is important, but the content is just as critical. They want to see that you're thoughtful and capable of introspection. An essay that might delve into how you’ve pursued a particular passion, for example, could illustrate dedication, creativity, or problem-solving skills. The key is to be genuine and to let your unique voice shine through.

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Duke University

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

what colleges look for in admissions essay

What Admissions Officers Look for in Your College Essay?

This article was written based on the information and opinions presented by Anna Smist, a Yale Admissions Officer, i n a CollegeVine livestream. You can watch the full livestream for more info.

What’s Covered:

Writing about specific moments.

  • Appealing to Admissions Officers

When it comes time to submit these essays, you will either be applying through QuestBridge , the coalition application , or the common application . Essays are one of the most important portions of a student’s college application. They present an irreplaceable opportunity to paint a picture for the admissions officers of who you are. College essays do pose their unique set of challenges, but there are tricks to help students with this process. 

To get started, think about the purpose behind these essays. A student has about 500 words or less to convey their story to admissions officers. When you’re writing, your topic doesn’t have to be about anything specific; it can be more general. Some of the best essays students have submitted were not about detailed descriptions of their interests but an experience.

You can start with a general topic, such as your interests or extracurricular activities, and then dive deeper into a specific experience you had in one of those topics. An example could be writing about a relationship that you have with someone, but, instead of talking about the relationship, you can reflect on a conversation you had with them. This will bring a personal aspect to the essay and make the reader feel more connected to you as the writer. Similar things can be done with places. If you want to write about a place that has meaning to you, you can dive into a particular event that happened at that location and why it has meaning to you. Your essays are all about bringing the reader into your life, and the best way to accomplish that is by writing about specific events.

Appealing To Admissions Officers

Making your story unique.

Students shouldn’t write about anything too general, and there are no cookie-cutter expectations for students’ essay topics. When you approach your essays, try to write about something only you can talk about. There are thousands of students writing about the same topic as you are, so you have to find a way to differentiate yourself from the others. This is what admissions officers are looking for in your essays. They want to read about a unique story or memory that no other student could have written about except for you. 

Let Your Voice Shine Through

Ultimately, when it comes from your voice or your view, it’s going to sound unique and different. Think about books and movies. Many are over the same topic, but the way the story is told matters a lot. When you read a novel from the first-person perspective, you get inside that person’s head for a moment and get to see how they think. Reading essays is something admissions officers really like because they get to know the student. When you are writing your essay, make sure your voice comes through . Admissions officers want to know what kind of student you are and how you will fit into their campus community. The best way for them to understand this is through your essays. 

Students often share topics or stories that the admissions officers might not be familiar with. For example, when writing about your diverse experience in terms of sexuality, gender, or race, the admissions officer reading it might not be familiar with your exact experience. No matter your topic, make sure you provide some context to your essays so that no matter who the admissions officer is, your story will come across.

If you’re looking for some examples of college essays to help get you started, check out this post: 19 Stellar Common App Essay Examples .

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

what colleges look for in admissions essay

Ultimate Guide to Writing Your College Essay

Tips for writing an effective college essay.

College admissions essays are an important part of your college application and gives you the chance to show colleges and universities your character and experiences. This guide will give you tips to write an effective college essay.

Want free help with your college essay?

UPchieve connects you with knowledgeable and friendly college advisors—online, 24/7, and completely free. Get 1:1 help brainstorming topics, outlining your essay, revising a draft, or editing grammar.

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Writing a strong college admissions essay

Learn about the elements of a solid admissions essay.

Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

Learn some of the most common mistakes made on college essays

Brainstorming tips for your college essay

Stuck on what to write your college essay about? Here are some exercises to help you get started.

How formal should the tone of your college essay be?

Learn how formal your college essay should be and get tips on how to bring out your natural voice.

Taking your college essay to the next level

Hear an admissions expert discuss the appropriate level of depth necessary in your college essay.

Student Stories

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Student Story: Admissions essay about a formative experience

Get the perspective of a current college student on how he approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about personal identity

Get the perspective of a current college student on how she approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about community impact

Student story: admissions essay about a past mistake, how to write a college application essay, tips for writing an effective application essay, sample college essay 1 with feedback, sample college essay 2 with feedback.

This content is licensed by Khan Academy and is available for free at www.khanacademy.org.

More From Forbes

4 college admissions trends shaping top schools’ decisions in 2024.

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Locust Walk with students in fall, University of Pennsylvania, University City area, Philadelphia, ... [+] PA, USA

Ivy Day 2024, the day when top schools' admissions decisions are released, is a pivotal moment to explore the evolving landscape of college admissions and anticipate future directions. This year’s transformations are reshaping college application strategies in profound ways. Let's dive into the latest developments.

Return To Standardized Testing

The return to SAT and ACT requirements by institutions such as Dartmouth, Brown and MIT is a sign that many highly selective institutions may go back to requiring standardized tests. In a slight modification to the testing requirement, Yale’s test-flexible policy allows students to submit Advanced Placement and International Baccalaureate scores in lieu of the standard SAT or ACT. This shift may be in response to a decline in college readiness benchmarks ; for instance, ACT exam scores are at their lowest in 30 years, even as GPAs in core subjects rise. This gap highlights a discrepancy between students' perceived readiness and their actual preparedness.

Although I foresee more colleges reinstating standardized testing requirements, I also expect the continuation of test-optional and test-blind policies. These policies serve not only to broaden application pools from underrepresented and disadvantaged groups but also as a strategy for financially challenged institutions to attract more applicants.

In other testing news, the College Board launched the first digital SAT earlier this month , introducing a significant shift from its traditional format. This new version is adaptive and adjusts the difficulty level of questions based on the student's responses, a departure from the fixed difficulty level of previous exams. Notably, students report that the math section was more challenging than anticipated, diverging from their experiences with practice exams. Unlike the SAT, which has transitioned to a fully digital format, the ACT continues to offer both digital and traditional paper-and-pencil options.

It's advisable for students to undertake diagnostic practice exams for both the SAT and ACT to ascertain which exam aligns better with their abilities. Should the practice scores be comparable, I recommend leaning toward the ACT. This preference stems from its stability in format over the years and the choice it offers between digital and paper-based exams.

Best High-Yield Savings Accounts Of 2024

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Given the evolving landscape of testing policies, including recent SAT modifications, students should embrace a two-pronged approach: rigorously prepare for standardized tests while remaining flexible to the possibility of not submitting scores where test-optional policies prevail.

Rethink The Importance Of The College Essay

Duke University has made significant changes to its admissions process by no longer assigning numerical ratings to applicants' standardized test scores and essays . This adjustment took effect in the current application cycle. Previously, Duke assigned values from one to five for essays and test scores, contributing to a holistic score on a 30-point scale. Now, the point system is applied only to curriculum strength, academics, recommendations, and extracurricular activities.

The move to eliminate numerical scores for essays arises from concerns about the rise in AI-generated submissions and the possibility of essays being ghostwritten. Christoph Guttentag, the dean of undergraduate admissions, noted that although essays play a pivotal role in comprehending an applicant's profile, their reliability as indicators of a student’s actual writing skills has diminished.

This adjustment is not a response to the Supreme Court's ruling against considering race in admissions decisions. Nonetheless, essays have frequently been a focal point in discussions about fostering diversity through admissions. It is expected that other institutions may similarly de-emphasize essays, thereby elevating the significance of academic transcripts, the depth of extracurricular activities, and the relevance and demand for the selected major .

Apply Early

The number of early applications (a combination of early decision and early action) has jumped by 1 million, a 60% increase, over the last five years according to Common Application data in a New York Magazine report . In contrast, applications filed during the regular decision period increased by 26% over the same timeframe. This suggests a growing trend among high school seniors to leverage early application options as part of their strategy for college admissions, reflecting the competitive nature of securing admission to top institutions.

Navigate The FAFSA Challenges

The recent overhaul of the Free Application for Federal Student Aid has led to significant delays, affecting students who rely on financial aid to make college decisions. This FAFSA situation has left many students in limbo, uncertain about their financial aid packages and, consequently, their college choices. Some colleges and universities are extending decision deadlines to accommodate the delays, but the fear remains that this could deter a significant number of students from matriculating.

Alongside the FAFSA, it is imperative for families to engage early with platforms such as the College Board’s CSS Profile. They can help unlock a broad spectrum of financial support options, from federal aid to merit-based scholarships offered by institutions. For example, utilizing tools like the Federal Student Aid Estimator and individual college’s net price calculators can provide early insights into eligibility for federal financial assistance, guiding strategic financial planning for college.

Master Your College Admissions Strategy

As the 2024 college admissions landscape poses its share of complexities, students and families are encouraged to embrace a multifaceted approach tailored to the evolving standards of higher education. From adapting to the reemergence of standardized testing requirements at esteemed institutions like Dartmouth, Brown, and MIT, to addressing the challenges posed by the digitalization of the SAT and the nuanced evaluation of college essays at Duke, it's clear that flexibility and strategic planning are paramount. Furthermore, the rise in early application submissions highlights the importance of proactivity and informed decision-making in securing a favorable college admission outcome. By fostering a thorough understanding of these trends and deploying an informed application strategy, students can enhance their prospects of achieving their academic and career aspirations in this dynamic admissions environment.

Dr. Aviva Legatt

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Inside the Blunders That Plunged the College Admission Season Into Disarray

The Education Department was supposed to make applying for federal financial aid easier. Instead, it got worse.

Two women pose for a portrait in a school hallway in front of a board that reads "home of the tigers."

By Erica L. Green and Zach Montague

Reporting from Washington

There were just days left to process a batch of federal financial aid applications when Education Department officials made a fateful discovery: 70,000 emails from students all over the country, containing reams of essential data.

They were sitting in an inbox, untouched.

That discovery last week started a panicked, three-day crash effort by more than 200 of the department’s employees, including Richard Cordray, the nation’s top student aid official, to read through each of the emails one by one and extract crucial identifying information required for financial aid. The students’ futures depended on it.

“It needs to get untangled,” Mr. Cordray told his staff members on Thursday, according to recordings of two back-to-back meetings that The New York Times obtained. “So, you know, I’m getting pretty impatient.”

An exasperated staff member shot back, “We worked all night long — literally — all night.”

It was another setback in the botched rollout of a new version of the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, known as FAFSA, that millions of families and thousands of schools rely on to determine how students will pay for college. Three years ago, Congress ordered the Education Department to revamp the new form to make it easier and more accessible. It has been anything but.

For nearly six months, students and schools navigated a bureaucratic mess caused by severe delays in launching the website and processing critical information. A series of blunders by the department — from a haphazard rollout to technical meltdowns — have left students and schools in limbo and plunged the most critical stage of the college admissions season into disarray.

‘Hanging on by their fingernails’

In a normal year, students would be sorting through their financial aid offers by now, giving them plenty of time to prepare for the traditional decision day on May 1, when many schools expect commitments.

But this is not a normal year.

Because of the delays in the FAFSA rollout, schools do not have the information they need from the government to assemble financial aid offers. Students have had to postpone decisions about where to attend college because they have no idea how much aid they will receive.

Many schools are pushing back their enrollment deadlines to give students more time to figure out their finances, throwing college budgets and wait lists into chaos.

The Education Department has promised to meet a self-imposed deadline of Friday to start sending students’ financial information to schools. A Biden administration official, who asked for anonymity to discuss details of the process, said the department had begun sending out “small batches” of data over the weekend.

But the task ahead is monumental. The department is working with 5.7 million applications that are in so far, but more than 10 million additional ones are expected to roll in as students make their way through the process, which is still not functioning without delays .

“Financial aid offices across the country are hanging on by their fingernails at this point,” said Justin Draeger, the chief executive of the National Association of Student Financial Aid Administrators.

A broken system

The goal of the revamped FAFSA system was to simplify the notoriously bewildering form by whittling it down from more than 100 questions to fewer than 40 and making it more accessible to lower-income students.

But it was not ready to roll out in October, when the FAFSA form usually becomes available for students to submit their families’ financial details to the government.

In late December, when the system finally launched, the problems were immediately apparent.

Technical malfunctions prevented many students from gaining access to the form on the website. Students reported being repeatedly kicked out or locked out of the form, or hung up on after holding for 30 minutes to three hours for someone to answer the department’s help line.

The bungled rollout has upended a critical function of the federal student aid process.

The government needs the FAFSA information to calculate how much federal aid students should receive. The schools, in turn, need that number to make their own calculations about how much a student should expect to pay at that particular college or university, after tallying up tuition and any extra scholarships.

For many students, the FAFSA estimate, which is sometimes received before they even hear back from any of the schools they applied to, is the first sign of hope that college is within reach.

Students in limbo

Andrea, a senior at KIPP Denver Collegiate High School in Colorado, will be the first person in her family to attend college. She has her heart set on Duke University.

But first, she has to navigate FAFSA.

“It’s agonizing,” said Andrea, 17, who asked to be identified by her first name to protect her parents, who immigrated to the United States from Mexico and are undocumented. “It’s deeper than a form. It’s our futures.”

Her case collided with perhaps the most pernicious flaw in the rollout: The new form froze out applicants who could not provide a social security number for themselves or their parent or caregiver, something that had not been an issue with the old form.

To get students with missing social security data approved, the Education Department asked applicants like Andrea to submit by email photographs of a driver’s license, identity card or other documents that would verify their identity. As the department prepared to announce last week that the social security number issue had been resolved, officials realized that the inbox, and its 70,000 emails, had gone untouched.

That prompted Mr. Cordray to assemble emergency teams of volunteers to work overtime to blast through the backlog.

The students, he said, were relying on them.

“This is a lot of the Dreamers , new immigrants and the kind of people who, if they can just get a hand up in the higher education process can make their way in this country,” Mr. Cordray said. “We want them to be able to do that.”

Although the previous FAFSA form was long and complex, seniors at Andrea’s school managed to fill out their forms without much incident in previous years. KIPP Colorado, part of a network of public charter schools with some of the highest college acceptance rates for low-income students in the country, holds an annual FAFSA night, when families gather to complete the form together.

This year, only about 20 percent of the students at FAFSA night were able to complete the form — a huge change from previous years, school officials said.

Karen Chavez, an assistant principal of college and career for KIPP Colorado, said she usually tried to assure students that college is in reach.

But she is struggling with that message this year.

“It’s hard for us as counselors, having to watch what I say or how I say things,” she said, “because I want to guard their hearts and manage their expectations.”

Who’s to blame?

The Government Accountability Office has started an investigation into the FAFSA rollout at the request of Republicans, who say it took a back seat to other priorities, like President Biden’s student loan debt forgiveness programs.

Several senior officials at the White House and the Education Department have cited unreasonably short timelines, problems with contractors and insufficient funding. Speaking on the condition of anonymity to openly discuss the problems, the officials acknowledged that other important assignments, such as restarting federal loan repayments and reopening schools after the coronavirus pandemic, used up vital resources.

Some Education Department officials privately complained that the contractor hired to build the new FAFSA platform was missing deadlines, according to two people familiar with the concerns. They spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss private conversations.

The company, General Dynamics Information Technology, was one of the contractors involved in the debacle of HealthCare.gov — an Obama-era online insurance marketplace that had a notoriously rough rollout in 2013.

A representative for General Dynamics Information Technology declined to comment, citing the company’s contract, which requires that it refer questions back to the Education Department.

“It’s not the case that anyone here didn’t realize how important this project is or how big this project is,” said James Kvaal, the under secretary at the Education Department. “And it’s been a top priority for us at the very highest levels of the department going back a year and a half now.”

There were obvious misses, such as a lack of robust user testing needed to catch what would turn out to be dozens of major technical problems. And the Education Department realized only in November that it had not adjusted a critical income formula, which would have denied more than $1 billion in aid to students.

Even as the department has tried to project optimism about its progress, officials privately harbored doubts.

On Feb. 13, Miguel A. Cardona, the education secretary, told reporters that once the technical problems were cleared, FAFSA would be a “15-minute process” and a “net win” for students and schools.

A week later, at a staff meeting, Mr. Cordray had a different assessment: “It’s really bad,” he said, according to people who heard the remarks. “It may get worse.”

In response to a request for comment for this article, Mr. Cordray said the Education Department’s focus was on delivering an updated and streamlined FAFSA.

“Our team is focused not on finger-pointing,” he said, “but on getting more federal student aid to deserving students and families.”

There are growing concerns that the FAFSA problems will disproportionately affect traditionally underserved communities, particularly Black, Latino, first-generation and low-income students.

For many of them, the biggest factor in deciding on a college is how to pay for it.

Student advocates fear many of them will simply give up, skipping college or relying on expensive loans to pay for it.

“The equity stakes are monumental,” said Kim Cook, the chief executive of the National College Attainment Network. “The later those letters come, the more the conversation shifts from where to go to if to go.”

This month, the Education Department began deploying its staff across the country to provide a so-called concierge service, backed with $50 million from the department’s budget, to provide technical support to colleges struggling with the delays.

But as of last week, officials had met in person with only 20 of the 180 schools that had reached out for extra support, according to a senior department official.

Lodriguez Murray, the senior vice president for public policy and government affairs at the United Negro College Fund, said the consequences of the FAFSA delays could be on par with the devastation that historically Black colleges and universities experienced in 2011, when the government made it harder for parents to obtain loans to help pay for their children’s educations. Enrollment at H.B.C.U.s plummeted by 40,000 in one year when the aid stream was cut off.

“It’s a crisis that seems unnecessary,” Mr. Murray said of the FAFSA fallout, “and one that we hope can still be averted.”

Erica L. Green is a White House correspondent, covering President Biden and his administration. More about Erica L. Green

Zach Montague is based in Washington. He covers breaking news and developments around the district. More about Zach Montague

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  1. College Admissions 101: What Do Colleges Look For?

  2. College Essay Tips + Writing your Best College Essay

  3. Writing a strong college admissions essay

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  5. Applied Learning: How to Write an Effective College Essay

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COMMENTS

  1. What Do Colleges Look For in an Essay?

    Admissions officers will use your essay to see how you stand out from the crowd. The context that admissions officers are looking for could be anything about you that differentiates you from other students. It could include your ethnic or socioeconomic background, your values, your passions, or anything else that sets you apart from your peers.

  2. 177 College Essay Examples for 11 Schools + Expert Analysis

    Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. Connecticut College. 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025 . Hamilton College. 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026; 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022

  3. What are colleges looking for in your application essay?

    Colleges look for three things in your admission essay: a unique perspective, strong writing, and an authentic voice. People in admissions often say that a great essay is one where it feels like the student is right there in the room, talking authentically to the admissions committee!

  4. Key Character Traits College Admissions Look For

    What do college admissions look for in an essay? Reveal your passions, talents, and character with a well-written essay. Ideally, your college essay will illustrate a project or situation that contributed to your personal growth. Many applicants find that taking the time to write a thoughtful essay also helps them figure out what to look for in ...

  5. What Do Colleges Look For in Admissions? Why Are the SAT ...

    Reason #2: Colleges Are Judged by Their SAT/ACT Score Ranges. Yes, the SAT/ACT is important to schools because they use it to judge your readiness for college. However, it's also important to schools because if you're admitted, your SAT/ACT score will be incorporated into their yearly SAT/ACT statistics.

  6. What are colleges looking for in my application essay?

    Knowing what to include in a college essay is half the battle. Admissions teams look for many things, but the most influential are authenticity, writing ability, character details, and positive traits. The purpose of the essay is to shed light on your background and gain perspective on your real-world experiences.

  7. How to Write a College Application Essay

    Be on the lookout for words and phrases like "maybe," "sort of," and "I think" that might undercut that tone. At the same time, though, make sure to follow application guidelines about format and length. If the essay has a suggested 650-word maximum, your application will stand out—not in a good way—if you turn in 250 words. 6.

  8. What Do Colleges Look for in an Essay? Examples & Tips

    Therefore, the core aspects that admissions officials at any institution look for in an essay are: · Intelligence. · Strong communication skills. · Ambition and goals. · Creativity. · Proactivity and self-direction. · Interest in education and self-betterment. These elements are not based on any abstract moral consideration-colleges ...

  9. What do colleges look for in application essays?

    Application essays are your chance to speak directly to the admissions committee. They're looking beyond grades and scores for a sense of who you are and how you'd fit into their community. They do value creativity, but authenticity and self-reflection are even more crucial. They want to see how you've grown or handled challenges, sure, but they also appreciate when you can make connections ...

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    If you're applying to colleges, crafting a compelling college application essay can be crucial. According to a 2018 survey from the National Association for College Admission Counseling, 56.4% of admissions counselors said the application essay plays a considerable or moderately important role in admission decisions.. If you want to write a winning essay, keep reading.

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    In general, a great application will have most or all of the following elements: A high GPA (relative to what admitted students have) and a rigorous curriculum. Strong test scores (relative to what admitted students have) A specific, honest, and well-written personal statement and/or essays.

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    The key to standing out in college admissions is to look more like the first student. You should discover your niche and explore those 2-3 interests deeply. ... In addition to essays, some colleges also track demonstrated interest through things like visiting the campus, attending information sessions, going on alumni interviews, ...

  13. What do colleges actually look for in application essays?

    It's wonderful that you're seeking to understand the college admissions process more deeply. Essays are a crucial opportunity for you to showcase your individuality beyond grades and test scores. Admissions officers are looking for authenticity and a clear sense of self. They're interested in how you reflect on your experiences, your values ...

  14. 9 Personality and Character Traits Colleges Look for in Applicants

    Here are 9 character traits that colleges often cite when they describe what they are looking for in students. 1. Curiosity. Colleges want to see that you are passionate about learning - not just about a single academic area, but about the world around you. "We want to see the kind of curiosity and enthusiasm that will allow you to spark a ...

  15. What do Colleges Look For (In a College Essay)?

    Essentially, show them that you're ready to do college-level writing. 3. Verbs. This is a more focused point than a lot of the others I'm discussing, but one of the simplest, most useful lessons I ever learned about writing in English is that as go your verbs, so goes the rest of your writing.

  16. What Colleges Look for in an Application Essay

    Colleges use a few different parameters to filter out candidates from among the thousands of applications they receive. Most of us believe that the most important factor is school grades or admission test scores. The truth is that even if other parameters are average, your application essay can be the key factor that determines whether or not ...

  17. What Admissions Officers Look for in Your College Essay?

    When you are writing your essay, make sure your voice comes through. Admissions officers want to know what kind of student you are and how you will fit into their campus community. The best way for them to understand this is through your essays. Students often share topics or stories that the admissions officers might not be familiar with.

  18. 5 Things Colleges Look for in a College Essay

    Here are 5 essential traits of a compelling college essay. Your essay doesn't need to have all 5, but college admissions officers look for at least one of these traits or possibly two. 1. Drive. Think self-motivation. Sure, any student can list achievements, but that's not what the admissions gurus are looking for in an essay.

  19. Ultimate Guide to Writing Your College Essay

    Sample College Essay 2 with Feedback. This content is licensed by Khan Academy and is available for free at www.khanacademy.org. College essays are an important part of your college application and give you the chance to show colleges and universities your personality. This guide will give you tips on how to write an effective college essay.

  20. How to Write a College Application Essays in 2024

    A 2018-19 study by the National Association for College Admission Counseling reinforces this point: over 56% of admissions counselors reported that their institutions place significant weight on the essay during admissions decisions. The study also reveals that private and highly selective colleges tend to value essays even more.

  21. 4 College Admissions Trends Shaping Top Schools' Decisions ...

    Ivy Day 2024, the day when top schools' admissions decisions are released, is a pivotal moment to explore the evolving landscape of college admissions and anticipate future directions.

  22. Beyond "Why us?" Crafting essay prompts that matter

    College admissions officers face pressure to build a diverse and interesting student body, especially with evolving application trends like grade inflation and test-optional policies. Focusing on non-academic traits can be helpful, but it requires clear communication. Clearer and more engaging suppl

  23. Essential Tips for College Admission Essay

    A recent report shows that 84% of the top 100 schools on Forbes' America's Top Colleges 2023 list deem student essays to be "very important" or "important" to the admissions process.

  24. Can You Go to College with a Ged?

    While a GED is a key component of your application, colleges often have additional entry requirements. These may include standardized tests like the SAT and ACT, personal essays, letters of recommendation, and course competency requirements. Read more: What Do Colleges Look for in First-Year Students? 3. Decide on the right school for you.

  25. College application: Should race be in essay after affirmative action

    When the Supreme Court ended affirmative action, it left the college essay as one of few places where race can play a role in admissions decisions. Yet the added weight of the college essay has fallen unevenly on students of color, who often feel pressure to exploit their hardships as they compete for a spot on campus.

  26. How to Format A College Essay: 15 Expert Tips

    While single-spaced essays are usually acceptable, your essay will be easier to read if it's 1.5 or double-spaced. Clearly delineate your paragraphs. A single tab at the beginning is fine. Use a font that's easy to read, like Times, Arial, Calibri, Cambria, etc. Avoid fonts like Papyrus and Curlz. And use 12 pt font.

  27. Elite College Admissions Have Turned Students Into Brands

    Ms. Bernstein is a playwright, a writing coach and an essayist in Brooklyn. "I just can't think of anything," my student said. After 10 years of teaching college essay writing, I was ...

  28. How FAFSA Upended This Year's College Admissions

    Karen Chavez, the assistant principal of college and career at a high school in Denver, and her student Andrea. "It's hard for us as counselors, having to watch what I say or how I say things ...