how to punish students who don't do homework

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How to handle a student who doesn’t do homework.

If you’ve been teaching for any length of time, you know that there are students who don’t do their homework.

Regardless of the reason, these students will need some extra attention and guidance if you want them to succeed academically.

I hope this article helps you manage your students who don’t do homework!

Why Some Students Don’t Do Their Homework?

1) what’s the point  .

Sometimes, students simply don’t see a point in doing their homework. This may be because the subject is boring, or monotonous – or it could be because it’s impossible to comprehend. Ensuring that students have a solid understanding of the material before moving on to the next topic will help eliminate this issue. In addition, if you find yourself instructing something that lacks value, it may be time to rethink your approach.

2) Too Many Homework Assignments  

3) lack of self-motivation  .

Many students don’t do their homework because they lack motivation and self-discipline. In situations such as these, it’s important to remember that you can’t force a student to complete their work – but there are ways for you to motivate them. The key is making the endeavor rewarding and worth their time – this could be through rewards or points systems.

4) Intellectual Disability  

5) lack of parental involvement  .

Sometimes, parents fail to support their child’s education. This lack of involvement can significantly affect the student, who may then find it difficult to complete homework tasks without parental guidance. You should give students enough space to do their work, but you should also be supportive in helping them when they need help.

6) Poor Planning   

7) illness   .

When students become ill, they may struggle to control their behavior and focus on homework. If your class falls victim to a bug, you should allow individuals to take the necessary time off without anxiety or pressure. The same goes for injuries – any situations where students are bedridden should be handled with appropriate care.

8) Bad Timing  

9) distractions at home   .

Modern homes contain a multitude of distractions that can affect the way students work. In addition to these, students may also have distracted siblings or relatives – making it hard for them to concentrate on tasks given by the teacher. You should always provide plenty of space and seclusion when working on academic tasks.

10) The Task is Too Challenging   

11) poorly organized  .

Similar to planning issues, poorly organized students can struggle when it comes to completing their homework. You should work closely with your students to ensure they have the best tools for completing assignments.

12) Disinterest  

How should handle students who don’t do their homework.

This can be a very delicate situation especially if several children don’t complete their homework.

1. Let them know the importance of doing their work

2. give them a warning, 3. let them know what your role is as a teacher.

Another very effective way to deal with students who don’t do their work is by informing them of what the teacher’s role is in the classroom. By explaining this, you are letting them know that you are not responsible for their education. You are there to help them when needed and direct them in the right direction.

4. Give students who don’t do their work another opportunity

5. give consequences for students who don’t complete their work, 6. have the parent call the student’s teacher, 7. talk to the student after class or during lunch, 8. give student work to another classmate.

Another successful way of handling students who don’t do their work is to give them school work that is given to other students. For example, you can give out extra credit questions or assignments that are completed by other students if they do not complete their work.

9. Make an announcement about the homework policy

10. make sure homework is not repeatedly an issue, final thought, latest posts, direct instruction benefits in special education, peer mediation in multicultural school settings: 15 tips to succeed, peer mediation and peer mentoring connections: 9 ways they differ.

Smart Classroom Management

How To Handle Students Who Don’t Do Any Work

You can encourage them. You can empathize with them. You can coax and cajole them.

You can gently ask if there is anything bothering them or keeping them from trying.

You can lighten their load, bribe them with incentives, or offer choices, accommodations, and a buddy to sit with.

You can work with them one on one and whisper assurances or gently convey the threat of consequences.

And you may get them going for a time.

You may prod them through an extra sentence or paragraph or persuade them to give half an effort.

But in doing so, you make a deal with the devil and do them more harm than good.

You see, by spending extra time with reluctant students, by coddling, appeasing, and buying into any of an unlimited number of justifications for their inaction, you create even more resistance.

You enable their behavior and make them weaker and less motivated .

You hide from them the realities of life and at the same time crush the development of a true work ethic—which is the only way to empower future success, no matter their circumstances.

So they sit there, subjected to the same doomed and disheartening strategies year after year.

Many have teams of professionals meeting about them, designing intervention plans for them, and assigning labels to them they don’t understand.

Meanwhile, these same students who are assumed to be too attentive-averse or ill-equipped to succeed rush home at the end of another wasted day and play the same video game for three hours without a break.

It’s all a bunch of hooey.

Yet, this failed approach, that merely acts as cover for students as well as those whose job it is to educate them, is promoted and recommended time and again by educational leaders and school districts across the country.

It’s baffling. But nothing changes. The same strategies will be trotted out again this year.

So what’s the solution? Well, providing the students are able to do the work—which, except in the rare circumstance of total misplacement, should be every student in your class—the best thing you can do for them is expect hard work.

Note: Within education, the word expect has been tremendously watered-down. For our purposes, it’s true meaning is to foresee, presuppose, and believe in strongly.

What follows are three steps to get reluctant students to start producing real work and making real improvement.

1. Teach great lessons.

This is your number one job and the very essence of being a teacher. Somehow, it’s been lost in a sea of less important or completely unimportant responsibilities.

You must produce clear, compelling lessons that students want to pay attention to.

Your classroom management skills must be strong enough to have the opportunity to capture their attention, and then you must be able to do so through your passion, your humor, your creativity, and most important your content knowledge.

You must be able to draw them in, absorb them in the moment, and maintain their state of flow— where time slows, mind-energy focuses, and concerns and worries of the past and future fade away.

You must set your students up for success by checking thoroughly for understanding. In this way, before you send them off to work independently they know exactly what to do and how to do it.

Being exceptional in whole-class instruction covers a multitude of potential learning and motivational problems, most notably those that cause students to struggle getting down to work.

Note: For more on how to teach compelling lessons, see The Happy Teacher Habits .

2. Let them be.

Once you’ve done your job, once you’ve provided your students everything they need to succeed, you now must shift responsibility to actually do the work over to them.

They need to know, and be reminded of each day, that it’s all up to them—every last bit of it—that you’re not going to turn around and reteach what you just taught minutes before.

This sends the message more than anything else you can do or say that they really can do it and that you believe in them and expect them to succeed.

Therefore, if after giving your signal to get started they just sit there, then let them sit.

Let them face the hard choice right now, in this moment, rather than when they’re 19 years old and it’s too late, to try and succeed or to do nothing and fail.

When you kneel down next to them to help, excuse, or placate, you let them off the hook. You allow them to avoid and delay this critical choice—to the point where they no longer believe in themselves or their abilities.

Forcing their hand is the change-agent they desperately need to upend their downward trajectory. When the decision to either succeed or fail comes so directly and honestly every day, the pressure to make the right one builds and grows stronger and harder to avoid.

It weighs heavily on their shoulders, especially combined with the intrinsic carrot of pride in success dangling just in front of them. Until, overwhelmed, the dam breaks.

You look over one day and find them immersed in their work. And when you do, you must seize it.

3. Praise the work, not the student.

Instead of rushing over with a huge smile and telling the student how wonderful they are because they completed a few sentences—which very effectively lowers the bar of expectation—point out their good work.

Focus on the content of their production, wherein lies the key to an untapped yet very powerful sense of pride. Just be sure that it’s true, quick, and subtle .

Avoid making a big deal. It’s embarrassing for the student—and not a little condescending—and just tells them they’re less capable than their classmates. Instead, point to something in particular in their work and tell them the truth.

“That’s a good sentence.”

“Smart word choice.”

“I like the direction you’re going.”

Tell them like it is, the straight dope, and then be on your way. Don’t wait for them to respond. Don’t stand there and enjoy their reaction or make them feel obligated to show their appreciation.

Let them enjoy the feeling of receiving pure acknowledgement of their authentic work, untainted by you and unconnected from who they are or were, what they’ve done in the past, or how much or little confidence they may or may not have.

Simply acknowledge their good work and allow the natural pride in a job well done, which they’ve rarely had a chance to experience, propel them to greater accomplishments.

The three steps above add up to the expectation that as a class they will succeed. They will improve. They will achieve and become better students than they ever thought possible.

And that’s just the way it’s gonna be.

But what if one or more continue to sit and do nothing? Then let them be. Let the pressure to want to work and try continue to build.

In the meantime, they’re a living and breathing reminder for you to be better. To learn the skills available right here at SCM to be an expert in classroom management and present better, stronger lessons.

Make success through your high-level instruction a foregone conclusion. Then dare your students to try. Challenge them. Believe in them.

And they will succeed, and be forever changed.

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What to read next:

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• How To Connect With Students Who Don't Want To Connect
• Why Principals Don't Praise
• Why You Don't Have To Be Perfect For Good Classroom…
• How To Handle A Student Who Does Zero Work

56 thoughts on “How To Handle Students Who Don’t Do Any Work”

Great ideas! But I have done ALL of the good and the bad you talk about. I had 2-3 students last year who fit this to a Tee. The only way they would work and participate is on computer games. I did create Nearpods and assign computer work, they would play the ‘games’ but that was all. It was also very time consuming and not something I could make and do every night for every assignment. I did just let them sit and earn their F’s on their report cards, conferenced with parents. Nothing worked. Then they passed the state assessment with flying colors, I dont get it 🤷🏻‍♀️

It means they were learning, or already knew the material, but refused to give you the satisfaction of them obeying you. They were proving that you were not their boss and laughing at your futile attempts. They were being mean to you, resisting your authority, and the school’s and the world’s authority. Passing the state assessment perhaps as a twist ending to show they were playing you the whole time. We need smart people who do not obey authority but do the right thing anyway, but they can be little jerks while growing up.

Thank you for this article. This is a big area for me to improve on and as always you explain the way in a clear and practical manner.

You frequently mention checking for understanding as an important tool. Sometimes it’s easy to do this. For example if you are teaching how to add fractions, have the students do practice problems on whiteboards. How would you quickly check for understanding in a lesson on writing a strong conclusion to an essay or a lesson on understanding the theme of a short story, when it’s not as straightforward? Thank you for any advice!

Good question. I wish I had the time to answer it now, but I’ll be sure to cover it in a future article.

It is a big question, so I appreciate it being added to the list. Keep up the great work!

Excellent advise! I feel so guilty when I let them be and then I feel guilty for threatening and bribing. Thank you for sharing this. I am going to stick to this method for my scholars’ sake.

You’re welcome, Janine.

I do love your approach overall but was appalled to read ‘except in the rare circumstance of total misplacement, should be every student in your class’ because the majority of my classes every year in California at several different grade levels are always unable to do the work due to lack or basic skills. For the first time you seem very out of touch!

Hi Jennifer,

The article is about not doing any work (i.e., because of low motivation, confidence, apathy, poor listening, etc.). Being at grade level isn’t a prerequisite, but does point to the critical need for improved teaching. When you get a chance, please read the article again. The idea and common acceptance that more than the rarest, misplaced student can’t do any work on their own, or even quality work, is a major reason why schools are failing and so many students fall through the cracks.

Hi Michael,

Can I safely assume then that you aren’t referring to students with special needs in this article?

I couldn’t agree more with what you say with regards to regular students, and even, commensurate with their ability, with regards to certain students with special needs.

This is covered in the article.

In a future article, can you give an example of a really great lesson great?

Our middle school places students who had failed 7th grade math into 8th grade math along with students who did pass. Suggestions? Do most districts do this?

in my experience, yes. Social Promotion…..

I need this reminder! I overdo the help to find some success, but it is always up to them.

Thank you, this is very timely for me. I am curious though, does this mean to leave the student when assessment is being completed as well? I have one student who did this perfectly and will not complete assessment. My other question is due to an expectation in my school that consequences are issued for not working (usually detention to get the work done). What is your opinion on this? I seem to have a big pile of work that still isn’t being done and losing lunch breaks.

Do you grade the work that they don’t do? Are parents told about it?

I am responsible for students’ scores ultimately. It all gets printed out on a spreadsheet and I am evaluated on it

If scores are low, what then? Administrators don’t care to know about student responsibility; the idea is if if grades are poor, it is the teacher’s fault.

Also, if students do no work, do I assign study hall as a consequence- or just let them have full privileges no matter what?

Remember that different level students need scaffolding (such as ESL students) If your lesson includes scaffolding to support them (starting at whatever level is needed to reach the student(s), then your scaffolding can be removed bit by bit in subsequent lessons until they are able to accomplish the task on their own, without support. (ergo, the word “scaffolding”) There are so many things we teachers are expected to do well. It is overwhelming. It is a long process to become skilled in every single thing we are expected to do perfectly. Don’t give up. If you’re teaching because you LOVE students and are willing to do whatever it takes to reach all students, then you are in the right profession!

I’ve been following this plan for two years now and have seen tremendous improvement in behavior in my class. This year I have very young K students who have just turned 5 and so are basically acting like 4 year olds who have never apparently experienced school or consequences. Any additional suggestions for K kids who don’t listen? I’ve been giving the one warning then the timeout, and the letter home but after two weeks they are still not following our simple class plan.

The most difficult aspect to master of Michael’s classroom-management plan is the leverage he talks about as being key to an effective plan, i.e, creating a classroom that students want to be a part of (through good rapport and engaging lessons) and that they therefore care about not participating in. Is there something there you might tweak?

For timeouts, is there a fun game or activity that you could promise to do with students who remain out of timeout after a lesson segment or period so that, as Michael says, those in timeout will feel the weight of missing out?

But you say you’ve been implementing Michael’s plan for two years, so perhaps you’re well aware of these points. In that case, could your students benefit from stories about how a school and classroom work and what the expectations are for students, what teachers are and how to interact with them, etc.? Short videos can be effective as illustrations of these social skills (YouTube, etc.). You might also have fun with this by having your students help a puppet learn how to behave in school.

I would love to hear your response to some of the other posts, not just the one that was critical. There are some excellent questions there. I’m especially interested in your response to Nic’s question about checking for understanding. I completely agree with you that we need to build the lesson so the students can be successful when they work independently.

I noticed you are highly skilled at pointing out several common classroom management issues teachers struggle with. In fact, it’s scary how dead-on accurate you are. But I must ask if you currently struggle with these issues, or are they issues you observe in other teachers’ classes? Is it really possible to make it through an entire year with zero classroom management issues if a teacher follows all of your advice? I notice a lot of teachers posting that they do follow your advice, but are still struggling. Can you shed some light on this situation when you get a moment? I ask that you please do not omit this comment, because I am asking for a lot of teachers out there who are probably wondering the same thing and want answers. Thanks!!

I wonder this as well Pete. I have come to the conclusion (in my 3rd year of 5th grade/and of being a classroom teacher) 1. These are different times for a lot of kids. Regardless of demographic. Social media/fortnite/little parental support are key factors for a lot of the issues. 2. If a school is not consistent across the board (k-5 etc) with teachers and classroom management I could see that being a factor in our success. 3. Growing class sizes contribute a lot to the issues of student success as well as behaviors.

Though it is doable I haven’t cracked the code yet either. I am also still learning how to be an effective educator while keeping kids on track and not having chaos in the classroom. I just take all of the advice and input I have received and try my best each day. See what works and don’t give up. It’s never going to be ideal 100% of the time. Kids are humans and we have to accept that.

I am also wondering if consequences fit into a student not completing work.

I work with exceptional education students who have learning disabilities, severe ADHD, Autism, Language Impaired, or Developmentally Delayed. They are in the regular education classroom in an inclusion setting for the majority of the day. Many of the kids are hard workers, but a few get very frustrated by not being able to keep up. What are some suggestions of strategies that have worked for you? I work with students K – 3rd. Thank you!

Would you also give consequences for students who don’t produce any work?

Hi Sam and Tim,

As mentioned in the article, not in a traditional sense. But there are certainly consequences that I’ll point out more specifically in a future article.

I think this is your best article. I’m a special education teacher for students with emotional and behavioral disorders and I see this almost daily. It resonates when you mention how they can play a video game for three straight hours but not be attentive to a lesson for 3 minutes. I always let a child sit and do nothing and use my “point system” as a natural consequence. It is when they become disruptive by talking to others while also not doing any work when it gets frustrating. I remove the student in these cases. To play devils advocate on one of your points, though: not every lesson will be amazing nor needs to be. Isn’t that also a fact of life? Isn’t work ethic expected when the work itself isn’t always pleasant? Your relationship with the student should be compelling, but honestly not all my lessons will be, and I’m still extremely confident in my teaching practice.

You’re right, in that the lessons themselves don’t have to be amazing. This isn’t the same, however, as the act of teaching and preparing students for independent work, which does need to be top notch.

Philosophically, I agree with you – except that when I’ve done this, often other kids stop participating as well. They see that kids sit there with no consequence – natural or otherwise – and wonder why they have to work so hard.

This article made me remember last year when I received an email asking me to sign my child up for a “Mood App,” where ultimately it let the educators know when students were in mood/mind set to engage in learning. They would use this app in the morning and afternoon (time is precious, a lesson could have been taught during this time frame.)

It saddened me, as like you stated, it is setting students up for failure by giving them this choice. In the work place ( or life in general), we are not greeted with a mood app, nor given the opportunity to dwell on our emotional state. It is expected that we do our best and work hard, no matter the situation or what the day has brought. I did not feel that this was a beneficial approach.

I asked that my daughter did not participate and that she read a book instead.

Michael, I love your work and have purchased several of your books. Please do respond to the many good questions that have been brought up. I am willing to let the child “fail” if she/he absolutely refuses to produce any work or show any effort, but problems arise with parents and admin who want to see teachers exhaust themselves trying to get these few students to do work, otherwise they say you’re not a good teacher. Please comment. Juliet

A mood app? What school system is using this? I hope we never get this.

Following. Great questions asked, and I want to see the answers.

This is an excellent article with even broader applications (i.e. parenting lol). I also appreciate that you letting us all “sit” in the tension it has created. Y’all, we’ve got this! Just like the kids. To those of you asking questions, listen to yourselves and re-read the article.

I too would like to hear whether consequences for not working are appropriate. Bottom line is the work needs to be done!

Some children who are very capable need to be told firmly to get busy. Reasonable consequences work well, too.

A retired teacher.

In my sixth grade self-contained class, like many other teacher’s classes, I have 32+ students whose reading and math levels range from 2nd to twelfth grade. I appreciated this article very much, because it reinforces what I have been aiming to do for several years with great success. It has worked so well that my principal and some parents of low-performing students have been astounded that work is suddenly being completed. I have not had to defend myself for letting kids sit with this responsibility. I teach the lesson, provide intervention in small groups if skills are truly missing, and I allow some tools to be used regularly as perv504 Plans and IEPs: homemade dictionaries, word banks, multiplication charts, and copies of notes/PowerPoints. Clear directions, grading checklists and rubrics help so that kids know what they neeed to do. While circulating around the room I do not linger at any one kid for long. If they ask for help or they are just sitting doing nothing. I praise the work they’ve done so far, I prompt them to tell me what they need to do next, and then I leave. If they don’t know what comes next I direct them where to look on a hand-out or chart and ask them to read it or tell it to me. Then I give a thumbs up and walk away. (If they have not started I say something like, “I see you’ve got your book open to page ——. That’s a good place to start.” And I leave. Last year I had 19 special education students. No, they were not all at grade level by the end of the year, but most had shown at least 2 years of growth.

Impressive. Sounds like you’re doing an amazing job!

I teach at a charter school. My classroom has three grade levels, K, 1, & 2. It is also full inclusion where we provide services mostly within the classroom. This means accommodations must be provided within the classroom as well as some students receiving that one on one assistance. I have a particular student re-doing kindergarten with an IEP who is very immature. He frequently refuses to participate even when lessons are going very well and all the other kids are enjoying their learning time. He just doesn’t buy in. I’ve been doing the time outs and sent a couple letters. Parents seem to want to help from home but I am at a loss. I did have a breakthrough using this method with another student who really struggled last year to even start to work on their own. I often keep my students for the whole 3 years. Any advice on my immature little one? He crawls under tables, throws tantrums, etc. HELP! Thanks!

What about when they have a 504 that says shortened assignments but they do nothing? Recommendations?

Hi Michael, On point as always! As your regular reader of your blog and a purchaser of all of your books, I I have a great deal of respect for SCM am hoping to get your opinion; It seems that restorative justice is gaining momentum in education. I was going to look at learning more about restorative justice but I thought I’d ask your thoughts on the topic ? (It’ll probably be something you’ll write about later).

Thanks Greg! Good to hear from you. Yes, it is something I’ll have to cover in the future. In the meantime, there are some things I like about it while others are incompatible with SCM.

“Praise the work, not the student”. IMHO the secret to great teaching in a nutshell.

Hi Michael, Thank you again for this article! I read it a few times and feel that I understand your points, however, isn’t there a conflict between leaving the student alone for an indeterminate amount of time (however long they don’t complete the work) and upholding my promise to follow my CMP to a tee? I think that if a student is not doing their work, then they’re clearly breaking rule #1: Listen and Follow Directions. I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts on this and of course Michael’s too. Thanks again!

Your classroom management plan is for misbehavior/disruption only. I’ll cover this topic again in the future.

Thank you, Michael!

What would one do with a student that I feel might have a disability, but has not been tested for one. I have a student that will just sit for the whole class and doesn’t do anything. He’s not a distraction and I am genuinely concerned. I also can’t get a bold of the parents.

Great article again! I always try to remember when I’m teaching to try to teach great lessons, like it says in this article and and in “Happy Teacher Habits” and “Dream Class.” A lot of times the boredom in my class is simply because MY lesson is not that great on that day. It puts the power back on me to teach great lessons.

The way it works in my classroom (3rd and 4th grade) is: whatever independent work they don’t finish in school goes home for homework. My question is, does this eliminate the “pressure to want to work and try” since they know they will be taking it home, and there they can possibly get Mom to help them do the assignment? Would it be better to take it away at the end of the period and give the grade for what was actually done? The difficulty with that method is that sometimes the child is working diligently but just needs a little more time than the amount allotted in class. Then again, I definitely have seen, and have this year, students who sit and do nothing. I don’t want to treat them differently than the rest of the class, but I also don’t want to be giving them a loophole to get out of that pressure which would lead them to improve and succeed. What is the best solution? Thank you for all your help and excellent articles. They really make a difference!

Hi Sister Mary,

This is a topic I hope to cover soon. However, the key is exactly what you said. If the child is working diligently, then it’s perfectly okay to let them finish at home.

As a 3rd grade teacher I inherited a student who in 2nd grade had been allowed to remain unengaged without working and then have an aide assist them with ALL of their work every afternoon!!! That came to an abrupt halt when she arrived in my classroom. She was a very capable A-B student who just wanted to lounge at her desk and play with her pencil and daydream once left to herself. She would participate in the lessons and even at the board, but chose not to work independently. Would you believe this girl chose to do this even throughtout the course of the year after she missed much of her recess, had notes home and took work home at times, had discussions with the principal, and had consequences at home? I kept trying to figure out the “positive reinforcement” she must somehow be receiving from it. Finally I tried after-school detention and that’s when she would work so she could go home. She was made to complete ALL work but the struggle was real.

What if 80% of your class does not do any work?

As usual, these articles seem like they are reading my mind and are tailored directly to me – thank you!

My biggest uncertainty is how to teach compelling maths lessons, given that there is such a wide spread of levels among the class. Maths is just so interconnected that I find it frivolous to try and teach a higher level of the curriculum if a basic concept isn’t yet mastered. This makes it hard to teach a lesson that is compelling for all students. For instance, I might be needing to teach my students how to factorise algebraic equations, but some can’t even work with times table facts, let alone understand algebraic terms. Others might listen politely to such a lesson but really need to be challenged more. This is all possible with differentiating of course, but it’s hard to actually teach in a compelling way in these circumstances.

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How to Punish a Teen Who Doesn’t Care About Consequences

Teen punishment is a disciplinary method aimed at correcting teenagers’ misconduct, ranging from grounding and loss of privileges to more severe forms like corporal punishment. However, effectiveness is debated and punishment might foster fear, anger, and resentment rather than teaching positive behavior. Continuous application of punishment can obscure natural consequences, impede cognitive learning, and prompt emotional stress responses, ultimately hindering teenagers from understanding cause-and-effect relationships.

The alternative approach suggests helping teenagers recognize and care about natural consequences. This involves setting clear limits, explaining the reasoning behind rules, and allowing teens to experience the natural results of their actions when safe. Supporting emotional regulation, offering guidance on alternative behaviors, and maintaining a positive relationship are strategies that aim to instill an intrinsic understanding of right and wrong, rather than a fear of punishment.

For teenagers who are out of control, professional help is advised, but in cases of general unruliness, improving the parent-teen relationship is key. Addressing academic underperformance, for example, calls for understanding the underlying issues rather than punishing bad grades, which could exacerbate stress and hinder learning.

Motivating teenagers requires fulfilling their basic psychological needs for relatedness, autonomy, and competence. Addressing amotivation may involve understanding social stresses and offering support. When dealing with lying, fostering an environment of trust and understanding the root causes is more effective than punishment.

Table of Contents

What is teen punishment?

Teen punishment is a disciplinary consequence given to teenagers in response to their misconduct to prevent it from happening again. The consequence often involves subjecting the teen to an adverse experience of physical or emotional pain or withdrawing privileges or possessions that the teen values.

Teen punishment doesn’t have to be applied every time to create an effect. The threat of punishment is often enough to alter a teen’s behavior. The goal is that the teenager will learn to think twice before breaking a rule or acting inappropriately and abandon misbehavior to avoid punishment.

What are the types of teen punishment?

Here are 7 types of teen punishment

• Grounding : Restrict the teen from leaving home or participating in social activities.
• Loss of privileges : Remove certain privileges, such as access to electronic devices, internet, car usage, or family trips.
• Additional work : Assign extra household chores as a form of restitution.
• Reparations : Require the teen to make amends for their behavior, such as apologizing, fixing things they broke, or buying replacements.
• Corporal punishment : Physically punish with spanking.
• Verbal reprimands : Scold or yell at the teen.
• Humiliation : Publicly shame the teen for their inappropriate behavior.

What are good punishments for teens 13-17 year olds?

There are no good punishments for teens because punishments tend to lose effect when used repeatedly. The goal of discipline is to teach teens proper behavior. However, no one likes to learn from someone who constantly punishes or threatens to punish them. Applying negative consequences is not an effective way to teach positive behavior.

Punishment teaches teens to fear the punishment and the punisher. It triggers anger and resentment, diverting teens’ attention from learning prosocial behavior. Even though punishment may work when the child is younger, it tends to stop working as the child grows and learns to ignore the consequences.

Why do you claim that punishment doesn’t work when society relies on it to deter crime?

Punishment for criminals is necessary to protect the public as long as people commit crimes.

The assumption that punishment must be effective because our society depends on it needs to be re-examined. Despite punishment is necessary, its effectiveness is questionable, as evidenced by the overcrowded state of our prisons. Prison operational capacities are between 68.3% and 119% in the United States, according to a study published by the University of Nebraska Omaha using data from the Bureau of Justice Statistics’s Prisoners in 2019 report.

The persistence of crimes, which would not occur if punishment were truly effective, suggests that punishment has not been successful in deterring criminal behavior.

In society, some people do good deeds because they believe it is the right thing to do, while others only refrain from wrongdoing to avoid incarceration. These are two types of people raised with different moral values. As a parent, you must decide what moral principles you wish to instill in your children – an intrinsic sense of right and wrong or fear of punishment.

Why does my child not care about consequences?

Your child most likely doesn’t seem to care about consequences because that’s the best option they feel they have. 

Many reasons could have resulted in this choice.

One possible reason is that constant punishment stops your teen from seeing the natural outcomes. Your teen is too busy fighting with you or dealing with the feelings triggered by the punishment to process the natural repercussions in their mind.

Another potential reason is the chronic stress from the fear of punishment prohibits their learning using their cognition, i.e., “the thinking brain”, according to many scholarly findings, such as a 2016 study published in the European Journal of Neuroscience. 

Normally, areas like the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus help us learn by consciously remembering the details of an experience. However, our brain shifts to rely more on the emotional-based amygdala and dorsal striatum under stress. Over time, this reflexive change weakens cognitive memory while boosting the emotional-based memory system, making it harder for teens to think and learn. Therefore, the more punishment there is, the more the ability to understand cause-and-effect relationships will be diminished.

How to punish a teenager who doesn’t care about consequences

To effectively discipline a teenager who doesn’t care about consequences, help them see the right consequences. The right consequence is something your child genuinely cares about, not something they fear.

Here are 11 steps to discipline a teenager when punishment doesn’t work.

• Teach what “consequence” means : The essence of discipline is to teach children that they will get one type of result if they make one choice and another result if they make another choice. Teenagers make better decisions when they know the actual cause and effect and their options.
• Stop punishing : “Either you do what I tell you to or get punished” does not offer options; it only offers a threat leading to a forced decision. Threats and options carry different meanings and lead to different learning for the child.
• Set limits and explain pros and cons : When setting limits, focus on why the limits are necessary. Explain the different outcomes of different actions, not just the negative outcomes of undesired actions. Understanding why desired actions lead to good outcomes helps teenagers make better decisions.
• Use natural consequences when appropriate : Natural consequences are most effective in teaching when the issue is not health or safety-related. Remind them if they are about to do something that will bring bad consequences. Ask them if they are ready to face the results. If they are adamant about it, let them experience it (e.g., “If you stay up late and cannot wake up for school on time, you may get a detention for being late. Do you accept that?”)
• Use logical consequences for health or safety issues : If health or safety is in imminent danger, take steps to protect. For example, if your teen taunts the dog, take it away. Not being able to play with the dog is the natural consequence of you protecting the child and the dog, not a punishment.
• Stay on their side : After your teen has dealt with the natural consequences, there’s no need to pile on the pressure. Your child probably feels bad enough as it is without you. You don’t need to accept or agree with their action but empathize with their feelings. Support them emotionally to teach emotional regulation so you become a teacher, not an enemy.
• Help them develop emotional regulation : Teens may act out when they are overwhelmed by emotions. Coach them to recognize and name their feelings to help them develop self-regulation.
• Teach them alternative behavior : Your teen may not know how to act otherwise. Help them develop appropriate responses.
• Teach them how to reflect : People make mistakes. The most important thing is to learn from the mistake so it won’t be repeated. Teach your teen how to reflect on their role and prevent future mistakes.
• Repair relationship : People learn better from those they have a positive connection with. If punishment has been your method of motivating your teen, repair the relationship.
• Be a good role model : Walk the walk. If you want your child to be kind to others, they need to receive kindness from you to learn it. If you want your teen to be respectful, treat them with respect.

How can a teenager learn if there is no punishment?

A teenager can learn without punishment because no punishment doesn’t mean there are no consequences. Natural consequences teach teenagers the direct outcomes of their behavior, enabling them to see the actual cause-and-effect relationships. This understanding helps teens develop critical thinking and improve their decision-making.

In addition, no punishment doesn’t mean there is no guidance. You can discipline through patient teaching, explaining, and mentoring. Learning to recognize how their actions affect the outcomes or others is a more powerful lesson than experiencing an unrelated pain inflicted by parents. 

In addition, grasping the impact on others fosters the development of empathy, while punishment only breeds anger and resentment.

Punishment undermines trust, preventing teens from seeking guidance from their parents. Without trust and open communication, teens hide problems rather than seek help and learn from parents.

How to punish a teenager for not listening

To discipline a teenager and have them listen to you, become the person they want to listen to. People tend to care about and listen to those they feel connected to. Having a close parent-child relationship is a prerequisite to a positive connection.

Here are 7 tips for building a good relationship.

• Be kind : Being kind doesn’t mean you let your child walk all over you. You can be kind and firm. State your boundaries while staying kind.
• Be warm, sensitive, and responsive : Responsive parenting helps teens develop secure attachments associated with better teen outcomes. A 2009 intervention study published in the Journal of Adolescence involving 309 parents indicated responsive parenting resulted in reduced reactivity and hostility and better parent-child relationships.
• Make amends : If your relationship has been tense, talk it out and repair the relationship. Talk to your teenager about your use of punishment before and why you change now. Listen to their point of view regarding the new rules. Ask for their cooperation to make this new arrangement work.
• Make rules for their well-being : Rules and limits make more sense when they are set to protect people you care about. A curfew exists for safety reasons, as being out late is risky. Study requirements are in place because education promotes their development and future success. Show that your rules are here to protect your family. Help your teenager understand that rules are created out of love, not a desire to control.
• Plan for mistakes : This new way to discipline isn’t magic that can transform your teen overnight. Your teenager will still make mistakes. Talk to them and plan for what to do when that happens.
• Listen : Be an empathetic listener, and don’t give unsolicited advice. Teens may complain about things, but they don’t necessarily want advice. They are still learning to deal with their developing identity and fluctuating emotions. Give them support and space to sort it out.
• Spend quality time together : It’s more about the quality than the quantity. Given that teens can have mood swings, time dedicated to helping them with emotional regulation is invaluable. This time is not “wasted dealing with moody teens”; it is a good investment in your teen’s emotional health.

How to punish an out-of-control teenager

To deal with a teenager who is completely out of anyone’s control, including themselves, professional help is necessary. Contact a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychologist, as soon as possible. 

However, if a teenager is only unruly and won’t listen to you , it is more of a relationship problem between you and the teen. Relational problems can only be made worse by punishment.

Here are 5 tips for dealing with a troubled teenager.

• Stop trying to control them : Instead, try to influence them. When you have a good relationship with your teen, you can significantly influence their behavior.
• Find out the underlying reason : Every behavior has a motivation, which is rarely, if ever, a lack of punishment. You can only find a genuine solution when you understand the issue. Punishing indiscriminately as a quick fix doesn’t resolve the root cause. Rather, engage in calm conversations with them, reach out to their teachers for insights into school-related problems, seek advice from other parents for hints, and pay close attention to their behaviors and emotional state to gather additional information.
• Improve your relationship : Follow the steps above to improve your relationship with your teen so they will be more likely to listen to you.
• Teach patiently : Show your love through your patient guidance.
• Seek professional help : Consult your child’s pediatrician or a psychologist for help.

How to punish a teen for bad grades in school

Punishment makes a teen feel bad about failing in school, but it doesn’t help them get good grades because the stress from punishment prevents them from focusing and learning effectively.

Here are tips on how to help a teenager with bad grades .

• Open communication : Express your concern and explain to your teen why their education matters. Education is about their development and future. Help them understand the importance of studying and the potential consequences of poor academic performance in a calm and supportive way.
• Struggling to grasp the material – need tutoring.
• Finding the subject boring – need help in developing motivation for kids.
• Not having enough time to study – need time management help.
• Feeling distracted in class – evaluation for ADHD may be necessary.
• Difficulty hearing the teacher – screening for hearing issues is recommended.
• Trouble seeing the board – vision testing is advised.
• Experiencing bullying – support for ensuring safety at school.
• Conflict with friends – need to learn conflict resolution.
• Feeling depressed – professional medical consultation.
• Collaborate on a solution : Work together to develop a plan to address the identified problems.
• Offer support and resources : Provide your teen with tools and assistance to implement the solution. This may include tutoring, study skills workshops, time management techniques, or professional help for mental health or learning difficulties.
• Monitor progress : Regularly check in with your teen to ensure they follow the plan. Offer support and encouragement.
• Nurture your relationship : Prioritize maintaining a strong, positive relationship with your teenager. Show them you are there to support and guide them, not to control or criticize them.

Should I punish my teen for bad grades?

No, don’t punish your teen for bad grades. Punishment does not help your child identify or solve the underlying problem. Helping your teen improve their grades is a collaborative effort that requires patience, understanding, and open communication.

How to motivate a teenager who doesn’t care

The three universal psychological needs that can lead to intrinsic motivation in teenagers are relatedness, autonomy, and competence, according to the Self-Determination Theory (SDT), formulated by Edward Deci (Edward L. Deci) and Richard Ryan (Richard M. Ryan).

• Relatedness is feeling connected to others, cared for, and caring for others. 
• Autonomy is being self-directing and having the freedom to make their own choices. 
• Competence is feeling effective and experiencing achievement.

Strive to provide these three elements to motivate teens. Here are some examples of motivating through fulfilling these basic psychological needs.

• Improve your relationship : When your teen feels connected with and close to you, they listen to you more and care about what you care about.
• Give autonomy : Become an autonomy-supportive parent by providing space and freedom for them to work at their own pace.
• Help them build competence : Help your teen find activities they enjoy and become good at to build a sense of mastery and self-sufficiency.

How to motivate a teenager who doesn’t want to do anything

To motivate a teenager who seems uninterested in doing anything , address the underlying issues that affect their motivation. Social stress from peer pressure, pubertal changes, peer rejection, and victimization can contribute to a teenager’s lack of motivation. Parents can support their teenagers by allowing autonomy, lending a sympathetic ear, monitoring their social circle non-intrusively, and tackling problems in their learning environment, such as issues with teachers or bullying.

By addressing the underlying issues and allowing teenagers to control their lives within reasonable boundaries, they are more likely to become motivated to engage in everyday activities.

However, if you suspect depression is the cause of amotivation, seek help from your child’s physician immediately.

How to punish a teenager for lying

Dealing with a teenager’s lying involves understanding the root cause and fostering an environment of mutual trust rather than imposing harsh punishments. Here are 7 tips on effectively handling lying by teens.

• Do not punish, as lying to avoid punishment is a natural self-preservation instinct. To prevent your teen from lying, eliminate this incentive for them to do so.
• Call out the lie calmly, avoiding accusatory tones to prevent further dishonesty.
• Identify the underlying reasons to prevent more lying. If there is no punishment, explore other factors driving their lies, such as the desire for autonomy, fear of disappointing others, peer pressure, or the need to protect their privacy.
• Redefine boundaries to align with the teenager’s growing need for autonomy. Review family rules and parental authority.
• Support the teenager’s autonomy by treating them with respect and acknowledging their feelings and needs to reduce the likelihood of lying.
• Strengthen the parent-child relationship, as a positive relationship decreases the tendency for teenagers to lie.
• Seek professional help if lying is associated with deeper issues such as mental health problems or risky behaviors.

Do you have kids?

Yes, I (the author) am blessed with a wonderful daughter. When readers come across my parenting advice, they commonly assume I don’t have children. However, I personally apply all the techniques discussed in my work. They are tried and true strategies. My daughter does well in school, and I’ve never received negative feedback from her teachers.

Are you just lucky and have an easy kid?

No, I wouldn’t say I’m particularly lucky, and my kid is far from easy. She threw so many tantrums in her toddler years that they motivated me to extensively research the topic and eventually write a book about managing toddler tantrums.

Through my child development studies, I’ve gained a deeper understanding and appreciation for the natural progression of a child’s growth . I have become significantly more patient with my daughter. Her occasional slip-ups don’t bother me because they are a natural part of development. 

Rather than focusing on the mistakes, I emphasize the learning opportunities they provide. What matters is that when my child makes a mistake, she learns from the experience and makes an effort to avoid repeating it.

My daughter’s positive behavior is not a matter of luck but a collective effort to create a supportive home environment. It’s about patience, a commitment to understanding child development and encouraging learning from life’s inevitable challenges.

References For How To Punish a Teen

• 1. . State Prison Overcrowding and Capacity Data. UNIVERSITY OF NEBRASKA OMAHA. Published March 2024. https://doi.org/https://www.unomaha.edu/college-of-public-affairs-and-community-service/governing/stories/state-prison-overcrowding-and-capacity-data.php
• 2. Schwabe L. Memory under stress: from single systems to network changes. Bolam P, ed. Eur J of Neuroscience . Published online November 25, 2016:478-489. doi:https://doi.org/10.1111/ejn.13478
• 3. Moretti MM, Obsuth I. Effectiveness of an attachment‐focused manualized intervention for parents of teens at risk for aggressive behaviour: The Connect Program. Journal of Adolescence . Published online September 18, 2009:1347-1357. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2009.07.013

Disclaimer: The content of this article is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider for medical concerns.

Consequences for Students Who Don’t Do Homework

Many parents wonder what are some consequences for students who don’t do homework.

It can be a challenge to get your students to do their homework especially if they don’t like the topic. When the situation occurs that they don’t want to start or complete their homework, it is time to implement consequences.

Before doing so, you need to first identify why they don’t want to complete it in the first place.

Find the Problem

Before handing down any consequences, you should first find out why they do not want to do their homework. There can be different reasons why and finding out the right one is important for fixing the situation.

1. Distraction

The first reason why they are not doing their homework would be because they are distracted.

Distraction is the worst thing you can experience when you are trying to get important things done. Whether it is a student in school or a worker at a job, it will take your attention away from what is important and make your mind wander around.

It is even worse if the person is dealing with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), a condition that both children and adults have that limits their focus when attempting to finish a task.

If you are noticing that your student is not able to focus while doing their homework, the best way to solve this problem would be to limit their distraction. This would be by either placing them in a room with the least distractions or by taking away anything they use that distraction like electronics.

2. They are Struggling

Another reason why they might not want to do or start their homework would be because they are struggling and might not know the material they are doing the homework on. This is a very common problem for students who don’t do their homework because not knowing how to do it will discourage them and they will be stuck.

This will lead them to not want to do it and will use any excuse not to finish.

What you need to do in this situation is bring in a tutor to help your child understand the material and be encouraged to finish it.

We at Beingagoodparent realize the struggle that many students face when it comes to understanding a topic in school so we partnered with Redemption Tutoring to help parents find affordable qualified tutors to help their children. By mentioning Beingagoodparen t, they will give you a 20% discount on all tutoring when you sign up.

Click here to sign up for tutoring.

Limit Their Freedom

The first consequence you can implement for students who don’t do their homework would be to limit their freedom.

What I mean by that is limit what they want to do when trying to have fun. Whether it’s an 8-year-old from watching cartoons or a highschooler from going out with his friends, you need to find out what they love to do the most and limit their time of that.

When someone is restricted from doing what they love, they will do anything to try and regain their freedom of doing it and in this case, they will have to finish their homework before regaining the freedom to do what they love.

This works well for any age level and they will regret not finishing earlier because their time of fun will be cut out until they finish.

Take Away Electronics

A great consequence you can implement when your children don’t want to do their homework is to take away their electronics. Children nowadays are addicted to their electronics because it is their form of entertainment.

It is what they love to spend time on once they come back from school and it is most likely the reason they are distracted enough not to do their homework. If you take away their form of entertainment, they will have nothing else to do but to finish the assignments they have due.

Take a Different Approach in Fixing the Problem

Many parents want to punish their children for not doing their homework but a better strategy to have them finish their homework rather than punishing them would be to set rewards if they do finish.

This puts a positive approach for them to finish the homework rather than making it a negative situation if they don’t finish.

The reason why setting rewards is a better solution than threatening consequences would be because they will approach the homework assignment with a positive mindset rather than a negative one.

If they go in knowing that there is a prize at the end, they will be excited to finish and get it done. If they go in knowing that if they don’t finish, they will have a consequence, they will go in with fear and that will put a negative connotation on homework assignments.

Setting rewards also motivates them to finish.

Think of it like how people get paid at work. They know that if they go to work and do their job, they will get a paycheck so even though many people don’t like their job, they still go in every day and finish because they know that they will be getting a paycheck. They are motivated to work hard by knowing that they will receive a check after.

This is the same concept you should apply for any student that does not want to do their homework. They should have a motivating factor to work towards so it drives them to do it.

Many parents think that they should not be rewarded for doing homework but that is farther from the truth. If adults have to be motivated to work for a paycheck, the child should also have a motivating factor to do their homework.

Let’s start making homework a positive thing instead of pressuring them to finish so they don’t have a consequence.

If they are motivated and are going in with a good mindset to finish, they will most likely aim to finish and do it quickly to receive the prize. You can decide what that prize is or even set up a rewards program where if they get a certain amount of homework done in a week, they will get a bigger prize.

This of course does not mean that you take away the consequences if they don’t finish. This trick of setting up rewards won’t work for all students and they still might slack off and not finish so when explaining to them the reward system, let them know that they are not saved from the consequences and will receive them if they are not trying to finish.

Final Thoughts

There are consequences for students who don’t do homework when they are supposed to and it can be easy to choose one these days. Anything that the student loves to do in their free time should be limited or taken away and that will cause them to finish the homework they have due.

The first thing you have to do is find the reason why they are not finishing their homework and once you find that out, it is time to help them get started. Your child acting out in school can also play a role with they don’t want to finish their homework.

When dealing with this, a way you can take a different approach would be to motivate them by having rewards set up once they are able to complete their homework. This will cause a bigger effect than threatening consequences if they don’t finish.

Related Posts:

• Family Rules and Consequences Chart
• Teaching Honesty to Elementary Students
• Creative Punishments for High School Students

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Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / School & Homework

“My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over Schoolwork

By janet lehman, msw.

For many parents, getting their kids to do their homework is a nightly struggle. Some kids refuse to do their homework. Others claim that they don’t have homework, but then the report card comes out, and you realize that their work was not being done.

So why is homework time so difficult? In my opinion, one of the major reasons is that it’s hard for kids to focus at home. Look at it this way: when your child is in school, they’re in a classroom where there aren’t a lot of distractions. The learning is structured and organized, and all the students are focusing on the same thing.

But when your child comes home, their brain clicks over to “free time” mode. In their mind, home is a place to relax, have a snack, listen to music, and play video games. Kids simply don’t view the home as the place to do schoolwork.

If the homework struggles you experience are part of a larger pattern of acting out behavior, then the child is resisting to get power over you. They intend to do what they want to do when they want to do it, and homework just becomes another battlefield. And, as on any other battlefield, parents can use tactics that succeed or tactics that fail.

Regardless of why your child won’t do their homework, know that fighting over it is a losing proposition for both of you. You will end up frustrated, angry, and exhausted, and your child will have found yet another way to push your buttons. And, even worse, they will wind up hating school and hating learning.

A major part of getting your child to do their homework lies in establishing a system so that your child comes to see that homework is just a regular part of home life. Once they accept that, you’ve already won half the battle. Accordingly, my first few tips are around setting up this system. If you get the system right, things tend to fall into place.

Put this system in place with your child at a time when things are calm and going well rather than during the heat of an argument. Tell your child that you’re going to try something different starting next week with homework that will make it go better for everyone. Then explain the system.

You’ll find that this system will make your life easier as a parent, will make you more effective as a parent, and will help your child to get the work done. And when your child gets their work done, they’re more likely to succeed, and nothing drives motivation more than success.

Structure the Evening for Homework

When your kids come home, there should be a structure and a schedule set up each night. I recommend that you write this up and post it on the refrigerator or in some central location in the house. Kids need to know that there is a time to eat, a time to do homework, and also that there is free time. And remember, free time starts after homework is done.

Homework time should be a quiet time in your whole house. Siblings shouldn’t be in the next room watching TV or playing video games. The whole idea is to eliminate distractions. The message to your child is, “You’re not going to do anything anyway, so you might as well do your homework.”

Even if your child doesn’t have homework some nights, homework time should still mean no phone and no electronics. Instead, your child can read a book or a magazine in their room or work on longer-term assignments. Consistently adhering to the homework time structure is important to instill the homework habit.

Start the Evening Homework Habit When Your Kids are Young

If your children are younger and they don’t get homework yet, set aside quiet time each evening where your child can read or do some type of learning. Doing so will help children understand that evening quiet and study time is a part of everyday home life, just like chores. This habit will pay off when the real homework begins.

Use a Public Place for Homework

For a lot of kids, sending them to their rooms to do their homework is a mistake. Many children need your presence to stay focused and disciplined. And they need to be away from the stuff in their rooms that can distract them.

You know your child best. If you think they’re not being productive in their room, then insist they work at the kitchen table or in some other room where you can monitor them and where there will be fewer distractions.

If they do homework in their room, the door to the room should be open, and you should check in from time to time. No text messaging, no fooling around. Take the phone and laptop away and eliminate electronics from the room during study time. In short, you want to get rid of all the temptations and distractions.

Give Breaks During Homework Time

Many kids get tired halfway through homework time, and that’s when they start acting up. If your child is doing an hour of homework, have them take a 5-minute break every half-hour so that they can get up, have a snack, and stretch their legs. But don’t allow electronics during the break—electronics are just too distracting.

Monitor the break and ensure that your child gets back to work promptly.

Be sure to encourage your child when they’re discouraged. It’s okay to say things like:

“I know it’s a drag, but think of this—when you get your work done, the rest of the night is yours.”

“Look, if you do your work all week, you’ll have the whole weekend to do what you want.”

Show your child empathy—how many of us truly enjoyed homework every night? It’s work, pure and simple. But your child will be encouraged when they begin to have success with their work.

Help Your Child Get Started With Their Homework

Some kids have a hard time getting assignments started. They may be overwhelmed or unsure where to begin. Or the work may seem too difficult.

There’s a concept I explain in The Total Transformation® child behavior program called hurdle help . If you have a child who has a hard time getting started, spend the first five minutes with them to get them over the first couple of hurdles. Perhaps help them with the first math problem or make sure they understand the assignment.

For many kids who are slow starters, hurdle help is very effective. This doesn’t mean you are doing their homework for them—this is simply extra help designed to get them going on their own.

Help Your Child Manage Long-Term Assignments

If your child has a big, long-term project, then you want to work with them to estimate how much time it’s going to take. Then your child has to work within that time frame. So if your child has a science project, help them manage and structure their time. For instance, if the project is due in 30 days, ask them:

“How much time are you going to spend on it each night?”

They might say, “15 minutes a night,” and you hold them to that.

Don’t assume that your child knows how to manage their time effectively. As adults, we sometimes take for granted the habits we have spent a lifetime developing and forget that our kids are not there yet.

Make Sunday Night a School Night

The way that I structure the weekend is that Sunday night is a school night, not Friday. So if your child has homework for the weekend, and as long as they’re done all their work for the past week, they get Friday and Saturday night off and can do their homework on Sunday night.

If there’s a project or something big to do over the weekend, then work with your child to budget their time. They may have to put some time in on Saturday or Sunday during the day. But other than that, your child should have the weekend off too, just like adults do.

The Weekend Doesn’t Begin Until Overdue Work Is Done

If your child has overdue homework, their weekend shouldn’t begin until those assignments are done. In other words, Friday night is a homework night if their week’s work is not complete.

Believe me, this is a highly effective consequence for kids because it creates a great incentive to get their work done. Indeed, each minute they’re doing homework is a minute they could be hanging out with friends or playing video games.

If you can hold to this rule once and deal with the complaining, then next week the homework will be done.

By the way, if they say they can’t do their homework because they didn’t bring their school books home, they should be grounded for the weekend. You can say:

“I don’t want to hear that you can’t do it because you don’t have your books. You’d better call around and find a friend who you can borrow them from. Otherwise, you’ll be staying in this weekend.”

Make Homework a Higher Priority Than Activities

Kids are involved in a lot of after school activities these days. I understand that. But my priority has always been “homework comes first.”

In my opinion, if the homework isn’t done on Monday, then your child shouldn’t go to football on Tuesday. It’s fine if he misses a practice or two. You can say:

“Here’s the deal. We’re not going to football today. You need to get your work done first.”

If your child says, “Well, if I miss a practice, I’m going to get thrown off the team,” You can say:

“Well, then make sure your work is complete. Otherwise, you’re not going to practice. That’s all there is to it.”

I personally don’t put football, soccer, or any other extracurricular activities above homework and home responsibilities. I don’t believe parents should be going from soccer to karate to basketball with their kids while homework and school responsibilities are being neglected.

Use Rewards for Schoolwork, Not Bribes

Most kids get personal satisfaction out of getting good grades and completing their work, and that’s what we’re aiming for. Nevertheless, it’s important to reinforce positive behavior, and that may mean offering an incentive for getting good grades. For instance, my son knew that he would get a certain reward for his performance if he got all B’s or above. The reward was an incentive to do well.

One of the shortcuts we take as parents is to bribe our kids rather than rewarding them for performance. It can be a subtle difference. A reward is something that is given after an achievement. A bribe is something you give your child after negotiating with them over something that is already a responsibility.

If you bribe your child to do their homework or to do anything else that is an expected responsibility, then your child will come to expect something extra just for behaving appropriately. Bribes undermine your parental authority as kids learn that they can get things from you by threatening bad behavior. Bribes put your child in charge of you.

The appropriate parental response to not meeting a responsibility is a consequence, not a bribe. A bribe says, “If you do your homework, I will extend your curfew by an hour.” In contrast, a consequence says, “If you don’t do your homework, you’re grounded until it’s finished.” Never bribe your kids to do what they’re expected to do.

Use Effective Consequences

When giving consequences, be sure they’re effective consequences. What makes an effective consequence? An effective consequence motivates your child to good behavior. They put you back in control and teach your child how to problem-solve, giving your child the skills needed to be successful.

An effective consequence looks like this:

“If you fall below a B average, then you can no longer study in your room and must study at the kitchen table until you get your average back to a B.”

For the child who prefers to study in their room, this is an effective consequence.

Another effective consequence would be the following:

“If you choose not to study during the scheduled time, you will lose your electronics for the night. Tomorrow, you’ll get another chance to use them.”

And the next day, your child gets to try again to earn the privilege of electronics. Short-term consequences like this are very effective. Just don’t take away this privilege for more than a day as your child will have no incentive to do better the next time.

For more on consequences, read the article on how to give effective consequences to your child .

Be Prepared to Let Your Child Fail

Failure should be an option, and sometimes you just have to let your child fail . Parents often do their kids a disservice when they shield them from the consequences of their actions. If your child chooses not to study enough and they get a failing grade, that’s the natural consequence for their behavior. And they should experience the discomfort that results from their behavior.

Let me be clear. If you interfere and try to get your child’s teacher to change their grade, your child will learn the wrong lesson. Your child will learn that if they screw up enough, Mom and Dad will take care of them. And they don’t learn their math or science or whatever it is they failed.

To be sure, failing is a hard lesson, but it’s the right lesson when your child fails. And it’s not the end of the world. In fact, for many kids, it’s what turns them around.

Don’t Fight with Your Child Over Homework

Don’t get sucked into arguments with your child about homework. Make it very clear that if they don’t do their homework, then the next part of their night does not begin. Keep discussions simple. Say to your child:

“Right now is homework time. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can have free time.”

Say this in a supportive way with a smile on your face. Again, it’s important not to get sucked into fights with your child. Remember, you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. If your child refuses to do his or her work, then calmly give the consequence that you established for not doing homework.

Also, trying to convince your child that grades are important is a losing battle. You can’t make your child take school as seriously as you do. The truth is, they don’t typically think that way. To get your child to do homework, focus on their behavior, not their motivation. Rather than giving a lecture, just maintain the system that enables them to get their work done. Often, the motivation comes after the child has had a taste of success, and this system sets them up for that success.

Stay Calm When Helping Your Child With Their Homework

It’s important to be calm when helping your child with their homework. Don’t argue about the right answer for the math problem or the right way to do the geography quiz. If you get frustrated and start yelling and screaming at your child, this sets a negative tone and won’t help them get the work done. It’s better to walk away than it is to engage in an argument, even when you’re just trying to be helpful.

For couples, it may be that one of you is more patient and acceptable to your child. Let that person take on the homework monitoring responsibilities. And don’t take it personally if it isn’t you.

Remember, if you can’t stay calm when helping your child, or if you find that your help is making the situation worse, then it’s better not to help at all. Find someone else or talk to the teacher about how your child can get the help they need. And try not to blame your child for the frustration that you feel.

It’s Your Child’s Homework, Not Yours

Remember that your child is doing the homework as a school assignment. The teacher will ultimately be the judge of how good or bad, correct or incorrect the work is. You’re not responsible for the work itself; your job is to guide your child. You can always make suggestions, but ultimately it’s your child’s job to do their assignments. And it’s the teacher’s job to grade them.

Know the Teachers and the Assignments

Build good relationships with your child’s teachers. Meet with the teachers at the beginning of the school year and stay in touch as the year progresses. Your relationships with your child’s teachers will pay off if your child begins to have problems.

And if your child does have problems, then communicate with their teachers weekly. If they’re not handing in their work on time, ask the teachers to send you any assignments that they didn’t get done each week. Many schools have assignments available online, which is a big help for parents. Just don’t rely on your child to give you accurate information. Find out for yourself.

The bottom line is that you want to hold your child accountable for doing their work, and you can only do that if you know what the work is. If you keep yourself informed, then you won’t be surprised when report cards come out.

Work with your child on a system to keep track of assignments. I recommend an old-fashioned paper calendar simply because we already have too many distracting electronics in our lives—experiment and use what works best for your child.

Finally, try to see your child’s teachers as your allies. In my experience, most teachers are dedicated and caring, but I realize that this isn’t always the case. So, for your child’s sake, do your best to find a way to work with their teachers.

If You Think Your Child Might Have a Learning Disability

Kids are expected to do some difficult work, and your child may struggle. If your child is having an especially hard time, talk with their teacher. Ask if it’s typical for your child to be struggling in this area.

In some cases, the teacher may recommend testing to see if your child has a learning disability. While this can be hard to hear as a parent, it’s important to find out so that you can make the necessary adjustments.

If it turns out that your child does have a learning disability, then you want to get an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) set up with the school.

Most kids don’t enjoy homework, and for some, it will always be a struggle. Our children all have different strengths and abilities, and while some may never be excellent students, they might be great workers, talented artists, or thoughtful builders.

I have to admit that dealing with my son’s homework was one of my least favorite experiences as a parent. It was overwhelming at times. Often, I just wasn’t equipped to offer the help he needed.

Our son struggled with a learning disability, which made the work feel unending at times. My husband James was much better at helping him, so he took on this responsibility. But even with this division of labor, we had to make adjustments to our schedules, our lives, and our expectations to make sure our son did his homework as expected.

Life would be easier if all children were self-motivated students who came home, sat down, and dug into their homework without being asked. This is hardly the case, though. Therefore, you need to set up a system that is right for your child, and it’s going to be easier for some kids than for others.

We’re trying to raise our kids to be responsible and accountable for their homework. And we’re trying to avoid fighting with them over it every night. When I had parents in my office, I would take these concepts and show them how they could make it work for their families in their own homes. The families I worked with were able to turn the nightly homework struggle around successfully time and time again.

Related content: The Homework Battle: How to Get Children to Do Homework

Empowering Parents Podcast: Apple, Spotify

About Janet Lehman, MSW

Janet Lehman, MSW, has worked with troubled children and teens for over 30 years. A veteran social worker, she specializes in child behavior issues — ranging from anger management and oppositional defiance to more serious criminal behavior in teens. She is co-creator of The Total Transformation® Program , The Complete Guide To Consequences™ , Getting Through To Your Child™ , and Two Parents One Plan™ .

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Hello, my grandson recently moved with me from another state. He is currently in 8th grade (but should be in 9th). He basically failed the last 2 years and was promoted. I would say he is at a 6th grade level. It's a daily fight with him to do his homework. He won't even try. I know a lot of this is because no one has ever made him do his homework before. I thought he would just have to get in a routine of doing it. He's been in school for a month now and its a fight every single day after school. I have lost all the patience I had. I am tired of being a broken record and being the "bad guy". I don't want to give up on him and send him back to his mom, where I know he will never graduate. I have made so many sacrifices to get him here, but I am literally at my wits end with this. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I didn't think it was going to be this hard.

My rule is homework after school. If he comes home and does his homework after school, it was easier for him to complete. That lasted a week and a half. Now, he just sits there and does nothing. Does anyone have any suggestions? I couldn't live with myself if I sent him back and he became nothing but a drop out. I know I am not one to have patience, and I am trying but at the same time, I am almost over it. I don't like going to bed crying and knowing that he is crying too. I am open to all suggestions. Please and thank you.

I'm so sorry you are facing these struggles with your grandson. We here from many caregivers in similar situations, so you're not alone in your frustration. We have several articles that offer helpful tips for managing these homework struggles, which can be found here: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article-categories/child-behavior-problems/school-homework/

We appreciate you reaching out and wish you all the best moving forward. Be sure to check back and let us know how things are going.

Jessicar Thank you for this article and strategies. I echo many of the frustrations expressed by other parents here, including my opinion (as an educator) that homework should not exist. I agree that teachers and parents are in a struggle about which adult is responsible for supporting the child in getting More homework done. The best thing for my son was a free "homework club" in fourth and fifth grade where a teacher monitored completion of homework. He has nothing like this in middle school so far. Where I really disagree with the article is about extracurricular activities. Kids need physical activity through sports! They need enrichment beyond academics through the arts, theater, music. Many families send their children to religious, language, and/or cultural programs after school. If I sat in school all day, I'd want to move my body and interact with others too. The solution is not removing extracurricular activities that are healthy or motivating or valued. The solution is for schools to limit homework. Given that there is still homework as a reality--I'd like advice on when to have child do homework AFTER sports or extracurricular activity. When is the best time for homework if the goal is to go to bed on time (in my house in bed around 9 pm)? Between extracurricular and dinner--when the kid is tired? After dinner? My child is in 7th grade and I still can't figure it out. What do others do/think?

I found school to be extremely boring, as a teen. Looking back I realize that I hadn't found the work challenging enough. Personally, I struggled with this all through high school. I was completely disinterested in school, as a result.

I noticed that there wasn't a section addressing situations where children, who are motivated by challenges, do poorly as a result of boredom.

I enjoy reading many of the articles; even those which don't necessarily apply to my current situations with my child. One never knows what obstacles or challenges one may come across. Thank you

Here's what I know. Correcting our children when their behavior is displeasing is what most parents focus on. Without a lot of explanation I'm going to try to get you to change your focus. All children have 4 emotional needs:

1. A sense of belonging

2. A sense of personal power

3. To be heard and understood

4. Limits and boundaries

Rather than focus on your child's behavior, focus on meeting these needs. Meet the needs, change the behavior. There a 25 ways to meet these needs. One of the most effective is to spend regular one-on-one time with your child doing what your child wants to do. How do you spell love? T-I-M-E. It seems counter-intuitive, but just try it for a week. Do this for 1/2 hour every day for a week. See what happens.

Frustrated Confused Parent, I went through similar challenges with my son when he was in high school. As a grade school student his grades were always B and higher. The changes began when his mother and I separated; my son was 12yo. Prior to our separation I was the one who maintained, and enforced the habit of completing his assignments before extracurricular activities could be enjoyed. His mother never felt she had the patience or intelligence to assist him with his homework assignments and upon our separation she completely ignored his school work. Although he continued to follow the structure I had established through grade school, he soon began to realize that no one was showing interest any longer and, thus, began shirking school related responsibilities. My son and I were, and still are, close. I am certain that the separation likely had some affect on him, but it was more than that. He was reaching his teens and becoming more self-aware. Friends began to play a more integral and influential part in his life. Unfortunately my son's grades began slipping as he reached his early teens. For me, this was extremely frustrating since I was aware of how intelligent he was and of what he was capable. After many aggravating, lengthy, heated, and unyielding conversations with his mother about maintaining the structure established through grade school, it became clear she was incapable or simply unwilling. Essentially, he was on his own. Of course I would do whatever I could to help. For starters, I facilitated a transfer to a Charter School, realizing that he needed more individualized attention than that which a public school could provide. It seemed as though he was getting 'lost in the shuffle'.

Unfortunately the damage had already been done. After two years under his mother's lack of tutelage my son had developed some poor habits.

He struggled with maintaining good grades throughout his high school career. By 'maintaining good grades' I mean that he would take a grading of 45 in math and bring it to a 70 within three weeks of the end of a marking period. He ALWAYS passed, though. He would somehow get his grades to or even above passing by the end of the period. As I began to see this, I began to have more faith knowing that when the going got tough he would step up and take charge. It also indicated that he did well with what might perceive as an impossible goal. So, I started to have faith that he'd find his way.

He has since graduated, he has a good-paying job, and he is beginning school to become an electrician within the next month or so. In two weeks he moves into his own apartment, also. He's never done drugs, never drank alcohol, and never started smoking cigarettes. All of which I have done as a teen and well into my adult years. I am in recovery. My son is aware of my own struggles. Most importantly, I believe, is that he has a complete understanding that we all struggle in our own ways. Working through the difficulties, challenges, and obstacles are what makes us stronger and it's our compassion for others, and ourselves, which help us grow into decent adults.

I came to realize that the 'grades' he received in school had nothing to do with the amazing adult he's become; it was literally everything else.

NanaRound2 My 6 year old grandson has just taken 2 hours to write a list and write 3 sentences. He thinks if the words were shorter it wouldn't take so long. Already went through this with his dad. I celebrated more than he did when he graduated. Can't drag More another kid through school. Losing my mind and like the previous comment have tried EVERYTHING.

Yeah -been there, done that. Doesn't work. At least not for my child. I've read every *actual* parenting book out there ( You know, the books publishes by Harvard & Stanford professors who've been studying parenting and child psychology for the past 30 years?) ... and you're all missing something - because I've tried it all.

My kid DGAF. This was almost painful to read. "oh, yup - tried that one. That one too. Oh, hey - I've tried that as well."

This is so frustrating; tell me something I haven't already tried 50 times.

Psych Fan I'm with you my sophomore son DGAF . I tried so much stuff even set time stuff and he just doesn't go get his work out. He's 5'9 so I am 5'1 and I can't move him to do stuff . All he does is debate with me that More Grades really don't matter that he's like I'm just going to get D's because I'm not going to care to do better because I do not like school. He doesn't understand why I don't approve of D grades because I know he has better potential but he's like D grades I will pass and get my diploma .

The first thing on the list is to try and stay calm. While doing homework with my children I'm usually very calm. When I do get frustrated I'll leave the room for a moment, wash my face, and take a few deep breaths until I calm down. Or I'll make hot chocolate to help calm my nerves. It's not a perfect system, but what is?

Number two is to set clear expectations around homework time and responsibilities. We have a standard homework time at our house, with a timer and everything. If our kids meet the homework time goal they'll be rewarded later in the evening with family time. Each of our kids know their roles and responsibilities in the house whether the work gets done before dinner or not.

Number three is a relationship with the teachers, each of whom e-mail us, some two or three times a day. Contact with them has never been better. They're teachers are all pretty awesome too.

Number Four, play the parental role most useful to your child...I have three kids. One needs no help at all, one needs minor help and advisement, while the third requires constant supervision or their e-mail might 'accidentally' open up. This we've provided through double teaming. One parent works with them until the other gets home, then they switch while the other goes to make dinner.

Five, keep activities similar with all your kids. We all live on the same schedule, if one of them finishes homework early they get the reward of extra quiet reading time-my kids are ALL book worms.

Six, Set up a structured time and place for homework. Done. Homework table with a supplies basket right in the middle of the room. Big enough for all of them to work at and then some, it's an octagonal table which my husband built. I also always have their 'homework snacks' waiting for them when they get home, and I usually try to make it healthy-even if they don't realize it.

Seven, start early. My kids have been doing 'homework' with me since they were babies, and (as I pointed out to them yesterday) they loved it. We'd learn about cooking, dinosaurs, amphibians, insects, math, English, chemistry, even the periodic table came up. We'd do work pages every day and they'd love it.

Eight, hurdle help, works in area's like math, but not so much with history or English when the problems aren't as straight forward. But we do use this method where it applies.

Nine, choose the best person for the job. I'm best at English and my husband at math. When I get stuck on math I know who to go to, and I'll even study in my spare time to get better at it so I can be more useful in case he has to work late. That being said, we both devote a lot of our time to helping our kids with their homework.

Ten, show empathy and support. Done, not only can I relate to my kids, but I've pointed out that not getting their work done will make them feel bad bad enough, and that that's why we should work on getting it done together, so they have something to be proud of.

Use positive reinforcement and incentives. :) There was this one time I sat my son down at a table with a work book about 400 pages long. He was young, not even in school yet. Next to the book I placed a giant bag of M&Ms. I told him for every page he got done, he could have one m&m. About ten minutes later he finished the workbook and grinned up at me. When I found out he'd finished the book, I quickly checked it to see if it was done well, and then pushed the bag of M&M's towards him and told him he could just have it...Now they get rewarded in video games and computer time...

It seems that according to this article I'm doing everything right...So why is my child still struggling with homework/classwork? They've literally just refused to do it. Have seriously just sat in their chair without saying a word and stared at the table, or desk, or screen- as the majority of work is now done on computers...I'll sit with them, ask them if they need help, try to help them with problems. They will tell me the right answer to the questions being asked and then refuse to write it down. I feel like I've done everything I can as a parent to help them, but despite all my efforts, it isn't working. So...when all of these things fail, when a parent has done everything right, and there is nothing more they can do short of taking the pen or pencil into their own hands and doing it themselves, (but that would be cheating their child out of an education) what then should the parents do?

When our kids don't get their homework done before dinner, they're sent down the hall where it's quiet so they can finish it at the desk there, while the other kids have family time. They are told to come and get us if they really need help after that. But at this point it's like ostracizing our child for not doing homework.

I agree with most of what's on this page, and our family lifestyle reflects that, but I will disagree with one thing it said. It is our job to help our kids and be supportive of them yes, to nurture them and help them get the skills they need to take care of themselves and their home when they're older...but it is not our job to do the teachers work for them, they get paid for that. Some days it seems like that's what's expected of parents. Some even send home classwork if the kids don't finish it in class. Which means the child now has even more work to do on top of their homework. Though I understand that the teachers want the child to finish the lesson, and were the homework not a factor I probably wouldn't mind it as much. I don't even mind them sending home study guides to help kids before tests (Which is what homework was originally) but to send home overwhelming piles of work each night for parents to help kids with, (Each child with different homework so that parents need to bounce from history, to math to English) it's unreasonable. When teachers send home homework, they're dictating what the parents can do with the little time they have with their child. Which is wrong. We once had to cancel a trip to a science museum because our child had too much homework to finish and there was no way to make it in time and get their homework done. They could have had an amazing educational experience which would overall help them get excited about learning with new and fun tactile experiences, but their schedule (and therefore our schedule) was being dictated by the teacher while they weren't even in class. Of course I try not to talk bad about homework in front of my children, because that would make it even more difficult to get them to do it. But children NEED family time, they NEED to be kids. To be allowed to get away from their work and be themselves, to go outside and play with their friends, or even go out to dinner once in a while with their parents. Homework has made it difficult to grow a relationship with our children beyond the confines of what the teachers are dictating. It's violating in some ways and frustrating in others. It's grown into this monstrous thing which it was never meant to become, and the funny part about it is that most studies done on it show that schools who don't have homework have higher test scores and graduation rates. Not to mention better mental health rates. Studies also show, that after a child is taught something, they'll only really learn it after a good nights sleep, and that no amount of homework will change that. Sleep is what our bodies need to absorb important information we learn throughout the day, so staying up late with homework might even be harmful to a child's education...

Sorry I guess that turned into a bit of a rant...In the end I was hoping to find something useful in this article, something I hadn't tried that might work, but I've done it all, and will probably continue to do all of it in hopes that consistency might be the key...It's just that even after years of already doing All of this consistently, it's still not working. It's as if my child has made a conscious decision Not to work. He's not unintelligent, he understands it, he's even been tested and found to have an above average ability to learn. He just not doing it..So what now? What more can I do to actually inspire him to do the work?

AshumSmashum Out of all of this, most of which I've read and tried a billion times, your comment hit deeper. My son scores in the 99% on tests but cannot sit down and do the simplest homework. He does have autism and adhd so when he freezes up on homework, despite More knowing it, I'm lost at how to help him get it done. He knows the work so why does he need to show it with 20 math problems after school that take forever to complete one? (whatever honors algebra stuff he's in, I was lucky to learn division lol) He has a high IQ and excels in all subjects and yet is being tutored, so far, in English just to get the work done. I'm so done with the emotional toll it takes on me and him at home. Nobody wants to go to work for 8 hours and come home and do the same for another 5 so why do we think our kids want to come home and do more classwork? I'm so appreciative of your comment!

JC Hi Barb, thank you for bringing this up! My son sounds a lot like you...and he really wants to get good grades and go to an Ivy League school. What could someone do to help an 8th grader in the moment of struggle, while making sure they don't get more More anxious from falling behind for the rest of the year?

Tb Hi Barb, I'm the parent of an 8th grader and I want to thank you for the comment you left here. You helped me look at the deeper issues and I really appreciate that. I'm going to approach the conversation with my son differently, thanks to you. Thank More you!

My 11 year old daughter, Alice, has always helped her 7 year old sister, Chole, with homework. But just recently Alice has been giving Chole the wrong answers. We have been trying to get her to give Chole the correct answers

but she always yells at us. She has a baby sister 2 months named Ray and ever since Ray was born she has been giving Chole wrong answers. I once overheard her and Kevin, my husband, talking about how she felt left out. She came and talked to me and said exactly what she had told Kevin. She also told me she has been getting bad grades and doesn't get her homework. Me and Alice talked and she said "All the cool New York girls get straight A's and ever since I started getting D's and F's they said I wasn't cool anymore." We started having her grandparents come over and she would yell, hit, scream, and talk back to them. She is a great student but she spends all of her time on her phone. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even at school she is on her phone. All I'm asking is that 1. How do I make her stop screaming, yelling, hitting, and back talking? 2. How do I make her feel cool and get A's again?and 3. How do I get her off her phone?

sounds like you have a number of concerns around your daughter’s behavior, and

it certainly can feel overwhelming. We would suggest https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/its-never-too-late-7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively/ and focusing on just one or two of the most serious, to get

started. Behaviors like verbal or physical abuse would be of top priority,

while behaviors like https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-walk-away-from-a-fight-with-your-child-why-its-harder-than-you-think/ we would recommend ignoring, and not giving it any power or control.

Empowering Parents author Sara Bean offers some great insight into the reason

for poor child behavior in her article, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-surprising-reason-for-bad-child-behavior-i-cant-solve-problems/.It sounds like your daughter is struggling to

find more effective ways to solve the problems she is facing, and the result is

the acting out behavior. Keep in mind, you can’t make your daughter do anything, but what you can do is help her to

learn better tools to solve whatever problems may come her way. Best of luck to

you and your family as you continue to work on this.

Emma Reed Alice also swears at school and she swears to teachers. Please we have tried everything, even her sister at age 18. What have we done wrong?

Being away from loved ones when they are struggling can be

distressing. It may help to know that it’s not unusual to see changes in

behavior as kids move from the tweens into adolescence, as Janet Lehman

explains in the article https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/adolescent-behavior-changes-is-your-child-embarrassed-by-you/. Normally responsible

kids can start to push back against meeting expectations and disrespect towards

parents and other authority figures can become quite common. The behavior you

describe isn’t OK; it is normal though. I can hear how much you want to help

your daughter and granddaughter

work through these challenges. If your daughter is open to it, you could share

some Empowering Parents articles with her, such as the one above and this one, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/my-childs-behavior-is-so-bad-where-do-i-begin-how-to-coach-your-child-forward/.

We appreciate you writing in. Best of luck to you and your family moving

forward. Take care.

mphyvr Thanks for all these "strategies", they might work for some parents, but quite simplistic and just plain old common sense for more defiant kids... Thanks anyways and hope this article helps many.

Psych Fan I'm a mom of a sophomore he's also a swearing boy and will have quite a tantrum even with consequences of take away all he does is sleep. He doesn't like school says school is a waste of time and that grades won't matter in his adulthood . He says More it over n over about how schooling won't help him in the future as I go it will help you do good on a ACT and SAT he is like getting good scores on those are only good if your going to college. He also is like jobs won't look at my grades . I tell him homework teaches him responsibility once a job sees your amount of effort in school your going to have a heck of time getting hired. I even ask him how is he going to succeed to work real well at a job when he doesn't work hard at school he goes I don't need to work hard at school but I will need to work hard at a job.

dcastillo68 If it was only this simple, but, in reality it is not.  Middle school syndrome is the worst.  Kids don't want to be labeled as nerds so they do everything to try to fail.  I went through that with my first born, and now again with my youngest.  It is More very frustrating when I was the total opposite when I was growing up.  I cared about my grades an I took it for granted thinking they will feel the same way.  Now seeing how they are happy with just getting by is really frustrating to me because I am such an over achiever.  They didn't even get an ounce of this.  Very very frustrating.  And I wish I have never invited video games to this household.  That is all they want to do.  I keep using this an incentive to bring them back on track, but as soon as I give them their games back, they are back to their old habits.  Sorry, but I can't wait until they are finished with school and hopefully moving out of state to hopefully a college career.  I may change my mind later, but at the moment, this is just how I feel.  It is very hard too when you don't get any help.  I find today's teacher to be lazy and pushing on more responsibility to the parents.  Who has time to do a full day's of work, only to do additional work at home?  okay, enough venting.

@frustrated single dad Diane Lewis Hi there - I have a son adopted out of foster care.  He is 6 1/2 and has been in 5 homes.  He is totally the same!  They learn this behavior and are incredibly manipulative.  They are so insanely smart.  I worry about exactly the same thing.  They turn on and off the behavior depending on who they are with and what they want.

We did Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT) at the Mailman Center (Jackson Hospital Miami).  It made a huge difference in the short-term.  They basically taught us to be full-time behavioral therapists with my son.  The effects wore off after a few months as my son adapted and found ways to circumvent the consequences techniques taught to us.  He is like the Borg!  I am going back to get more ideas on how to adapt and change and stay one step ahead of my son.  The gals there are really smart!

So, that being said - we have to be Jean Luc Picard and constantly change and adapt and outsmart them - just like changing the phasers on a laser gun!  It is bloody hard work.  And, harder the older they get -

eg.  He drops like a dead weight - throws his book bag and will not get in the car to go to school - response - next morning I headed it off by calling out to the kids "LAST ONE IN THE CAR IS A ROTTEN EGG!"  This has worked for 2 days now.  

Wont do homework 2 nights ago - response - "ooh I like doing word puzzles - Im going to do them and win" - this worked one night but not the next - he just then just left me to do his work - so I have told his teacher that there will be no school party for Alex next week unless he gets his homework finished - we will see if this works.....

It is totally exhausting and you have to be on your A game all the time.  Im telling you this but - I have to tell myself this too.  We have to stay really fit (like cross fit) and work out like a marine.  We have to be very disciplined with ourselves - a healthy body is a healthy mind - we cannot let up at all.  We have to stay calm at all times (again self discipline).  

Im always looking for concrete reactions to situations with my son.  Like I said - the entire day goes on like this with everything except what he wants to do.  Wont get dressed in the morning - put out his clothes in dining room where there are no distractions or toys - tell him that if he gets dressed and ready for school quickly - he can spend the left over time on the trampoline.  That worked this morning.

STAY STRONG MY BROTHER IN ARMS!!!  If you can get into a PCIT program - do it.

Love to you - R

My child comes home and says he doesn't have homework, does something easy to make it look like he's doing his homework, or says he did it during free time in class.  How do you combat this without going to the school everyday?  Neither my husband nor I can do More this because of work, and the we asked the teacher's if it was possible to send us the assignments via email or let us come pick them up once a week with no cooperation.  He is a very smart kid and gets "A's' on the work he does, but he is failing all of his core classes because he won't do homework.

@atmywitsend  , my child is the same way.  I'm at my wits end.  I feel like I'm a failure as a parent because I thought I taught my smart kid to succeed - and instead she's lying to me.

Psych Fan NinaMays I'm with the same feelings as my son can be above a C student but he choose to go oh I rather just get F's on this work than to actually get at least a B or A on these many assignments.. I ask him why he chooses F's More in many assignments when he could get a grade to bring his grades up and me telling me he's not being his full potential as by making him not do his work how can I truly believe he's going to be successful and he's like I have big brains . Then I'm like why not show me by doing your school work he goes I don't need do that and I show you of my big brains by telling you school isn't important. Telling me I am brainwashed. He is a sophomore in high school.

FRUSTRATED PARENT NinaMays This is my reality too - "relationship" with teachers is difficult when they won't co-operate with homework expectations, or follow up email - the schools complain that kids are on the internet - yet its them providing wifi passwords - so kids are playing in class - lying about More homework - and since I'm not in the class, I have no idea until report cards surface.

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Defiant Children Who Refuse To Do Homework: 30 Tips For Parents

• Your child doesn’t understand the work and needs some extra help. It’s possible that your youngster doesn’t want to do his homework because he really needs help.  Also, it can be challenging for moms and dads to accept that their youngster might need help with homework, because there is often a stigma attached to kids who need tutoring. 
• Your child is addicted to TV and video games. Moms and dads often find it very difficult to limit these activities. But, understand that playing video games and watching TV doesn’t relax a youngster’s brain.  In fact, it actually over-stimulates the brain and makes it harder for him to learn and retain information.  Too much of watching TV and playing video games contributes to your youngster struggling with school and homework in more ways than one.
• Your child is exhausted from a long day at school. In the last 10 to 20 years, the needs of kids have not changed, however the pace of life has.  Most moms and dads are busy and have very little down time, which inevitably means that the youngster ends up with less down time too.  He is going to be less likely to be motivated to work when there is chaos all around him.  
• Your child is not sleeping enough. Sleep is one of the most under-appreciated needs in our society today. When a child doesn’t get enough sleep, it can cause him to be sick more often, lose focus, and have more emotional issues. Kids often need a great deal more sleep than they usually get.  
• Your child is over-booked with other activities. Moms and dads want their youngster to develop skills other than academics. Because of this, they often sign-up their youngster for extracurricular activities (e.g., sports or arts).  
• Your child is overwhelmed by your expectations. Moms and dads want their youngster to be well-rounded and to get ahead in life.  Along with this comes getting good grades.  All these expectations can put a lot of pressure on your youngster and may cause him to become burned-out and want to find an escape.
• instructions are unclear
• neither you nor your youngster can understand the purpose of assignments
• the assignments are often too hard or too easy
• the homework is assigned in uneven amounts
• you can't provide needed supplies or materials 
• you can't seem to help your youngster get organized to finish the assignments
• your youngster has missed school and needs to make up assignments
• your youngster refuses to do her assignments, even though you've tried hard to get her to do them
• Do you understand what you're supposed to do?
• What do you need to do to finish the assignment?
• Do you need help in understanding how to do your work?
• Have you ever done any problems like the ones you're supposed to do right now?
• Do you have everything you need to do the assignment?
• Does your answer make sense to you? 
• Are you still having problems? Maybe it would help to take a break or have a snack.
• Do you need to review your notes (or reread a chapter in your textbook) before you do the assignment? 
• How far have you gotten on the assignment? Let's try to figure out where you're having a problem.

How do I get my over-achieving daughter to slow down?

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By: Sara Ipatenco

05 December, 2018

If you've gotten yet another call from your child's school reporting that he's forgotten his homework, you're probably out of patience.

Whether your child is forgetful or just doesn't want to do his homework, he needs to get it done anyway. A few creative punishments might be just the motivation he needs to get himself in gear and do his homework on time.

Natural Consequences

Instead of yelling at your child when he's, once again, forgotten his homework, let him experience the natural consequences of not turning it in on time. Elementary teachers might take away recess time and high school teachers might require the student to do an extra assignment as a punishment for being late. A poor grade is another example of a natural consequence.

When your child gets the punishment and is upset, remind him that it's his job to do his homework on time. Once he realizes that he has the power to avoid natural consequences, he might be more likely to buckle down and get his homework done.

Home Homework

Why Do Toddlers Laugh When Disciplined?

If your child keeps forgetting her homework, create additional assignments that she has to do on top of her usual assignments. Make the assignments boring, such as writing the numbers one through 100 as neatly as possible or making a list of 26 adjectives -- one that starts with each letter of the alphabet. If your child knows she'll have even more work to do if she doesn't get her homework done, she might be more likely to get it done on her own. You might use unpleasant chores instead of written work, too, according to the Focus on the Family website.

If she doesn't get her homework done on time, ask her to wash the floor or wipe all of the doorknobs in your home. The more boring the chore, the more likely she is to get her school work done on time the next time around.

Reward System

Establish an incentive program to motivate your child to do his homework, the National Association of School Psychologists suggests. You might give him a point each time he turns his homework in on time. After he gets a certain number of points, he can exchange them for a prize. The punishment comes in when he doesn't do his homework.

If you're handing out points, perhaps he doesn't get one if he fails to do his homework or you might even take a point that he's already earned if his work isn't done on time. Not getting the reward is often plenty of incentive for a child to get busy and get his school work done when he's supposed to.

Make Her Pay

How Long Should You Leave a Toddler in a Crib When Awake?

Making her pay might sound ominous, but it simply means she has to give you some of her spending money each time she fails to get her homework done. You can choose how much to charge, such as $1 for an assignment that was a day late, $2 if it was two days late or $5 if your child just didn't do the homework at all. The amount you charge depends on how much allowance your child gets.

If she isn't motivated and you've taken all of her money already, make her work off what she still owes you by doing jobs around the house. The first time she isn't able to buy something she really wants, she'll probably reconsider doing her homework the next time around.

Related Articles

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Creative Ways to Discipline a 7 Year Old

Activities for a Child With a Broken Leg

Washington State Law on Leaving Kids Home Alone

How to Discipline Deliberate Disobedience

Discipline Techniques for a Ten-Year-Old

Responsibilities and Duties of Parents

How to Discipline an 18-Month-Old

• National Association of School Psychologists: Homework: A Guide for Parents

Sara Ipatenco has taught writing, health and nutrition. She started writing in 2007 and has been published in Teaching Tolerance magazine. Ipatenco holds a bachelor's degree and a master's degree in education, both from the University of Denver.

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Dealing With Missing Homework

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In the spring, a young teacher’s fancy turns to thoughts of . . . homework? That’s what happened in the TLN forum discussion group last week, when a fifth-year middle school teacher asked her colleagues: “What’s your feeling about students who won’t or don’t do work outside of school?”

She went on to explain:

I carefully plan my class so that the homework I give is meaningful. Basically, I ask students to continue the reading process we begin in school. Home reading is a valuable habit for them to develop, and practical since I can’t devote enough class time to silent reading for my students to get through books in a timely manner.

Much of the time they have chosen their own books and by October most of my students are reading in class and for homework. But I have a few students who just hold out on me. They read in class, but no matter what, it seems they won’t read at home. These are students who also don’t do any work outside of school in any of their other classes. It’s true they go home to chaotic environments and some have lots of household duties. But does this mean they truly can’t work outside of school? Or are they simply refusing? Is it okay? How hard should a teacher push on this?

My close colleague grew up with both her parents working long hours and she basically raised her four younger brothers and sisters. She was exhausted, but she did her school work despite it and she excelled in school. She is a great teacher and has no sympathy for students who don’t do work outside of school. She believes it’s necessary for students to take responsibility for their education and she refuses to “make excuses for them.” She has the highest number of failing students in the building. Nonetheless, students say they learn a lot from her and come back to visit her, saying she prepared them for high school (we both teach 8th grade).

Where do you stand on students working on assignments outside of school? What about those few that don’t?

A suburban high school English teacher replied:

There are a variety of aspects to consider: the students’ ages, individual circumstances, the expectations of the school and department, the expectations in their high schools, and any relevant standards you operate within.

I’m sure you appreciate the importance of communicating one-to-one with these students and showing that you value them and want to understand the relevant factors that prevent them from doing work. At the same time, you can use that interaction to communicate the importance of what you’re asking—how it will serve them well in the future, that it’s not an arbitrary requirement you cooked up to torture students. Beyond that, I’m not sure what the consequences should be for that age group, in your context.

Working with high school students in the context that I do, I have a clear expectation, consistent with my department, school, and district, that students must do work on their own outside of school. Like you, I aim to keep it relevant and valuable—no busy work. When students don’t do the work, I talk to them, and offer support and flexibility on the amount or timing of work as warranted—but there’s not much chance of getting around the basic expectation of reading and writing outside of school hours.

When students say they just can’t do it, I’m comfortable saying that they also can’t expect a grade of C or higher in the class. I try to present it as a matter of providing evidence. They may very well be capable of satisfactory completion of a high school English class, but if, for whatever reason, they can’t demonstrate it at this time, the grade is unfortunately reflecting that there’s no evidence to warrant a more desirable grade.

Another middle school teacher, in a small midwestern town, wondered: “Should failure be an option?”

I teach 7th grade math and try not to assign homework as such. However, math is very skill-oriented and there are assignments each day. Students who use class time wisely usually have little or no work to complete outside of class. I plan my assignments so students can complete them during class time because I want to be available to help them if they are struggling.

Unfortunately, the students who struggle most tend to be either slow workers or those who care very little about their grades anyway. These students seldom finish their assignments in OR out of class, and consequently, their grades suffer. I have a fairly liberal grading policy. Homework not turned in does not count against students. However, students who do not complete daily work have little chance of being successful on assessments.

I am not sure what the solution is. I have tried working with individual students, writing contracts with parents/students, offering to stay after school to help, whatever. But for some students (and their parents) school is simply not a priority. While I understand that other things interfere with students and time to complete assignments, I also feel that school should be their number one priority right now and somehow we need to make them understand this.

An upper elementary teacher in New York state wrote:

I see great value in the concept of meaningful homework for a variety of reasons. Obviously, it’s valuable for the transfer of content and strategies along with the positive effects of practice and reinforcement. I also think it is a perfect way to provide opportunities to build character in terms of responsibility and personal accountability—skills that can go a long way in life.

A high school teacher in the rural deep south remembered:

I once visited the home of a student who almost never did his homework. I discovered that he lived in a trailer (not double-wide) with five siblings, two cousins, and three adults. There were two light bulbs in the entire trailer: one in the bathroom, the other over the kitchen area. I started making arrangements for him to do his homework in my room after school or early in the morning.

Our local youth ministry operates a homework club that provides space and support for members to do homework a couple of nights each week. We have many parents who are illiterate or semi-illiterate. Some push their children to get an education; others are intimidated by anything from school and embarrassed that they can’t help their children. Consequently, I’ve become much less rigid about work done outside of school. It’s always optional, although I stress the value of it for the doer.

A teacher in California questioned whether there is evidence that homework actually improves learning.

I recently read an article stating that homework had little or no impact on student achievement in content. Other research I’ve read supports that thinking as well. It’s one of those sacred cows that would be worth discussing and learning more about.

Do my kids do work at home? Yes. But mostly they do it on their own terms based on what they need in order to accomplish projects by a certain date. Reading is an expectation too, but it’s always their choice of book. Work completion and quality have risen since I ceased assigning “homework,” and I see how much more serious they are about the work we do in class together.

Rick Wormeli, a TLN forum member who writes and speaks about homework issues frequently as a professional development consultant, had this to say:

Some teachers see homework as evidence of learning. This is true, but it’s formative evidence at best. As such, it is never to be used in the final summative grade, or if used, it should be used with an extremely small influence on the overall grade—2 percent, 5 percent, or similar. Most experts will cringe even at this concession. We should use any evidence gained in assessing homework assignments to provide feedback to students and revise instruction, not as the final declaration of what a child knows and is able to do regarding a standard or outcome.

Homework is definitely practice. In fact, in my middle school classes, we called it what it was—"practice.” The phrasing I used was, “Students, your science practice tonight will be...,” or, “For practice tonight in English, please do the following....” This kept both students and me mindful of homework’s true role in learning (and its weight in grading) and removed a lot of the emotional baggage associated with the term “homework.”

Nowhere else in the world do we grade practice. We don’t give the gold medal to Olympians who trained well and worked hard, we give it to those who achieve the highest results. Homework is the time to practice and wrestle with the ideas, try out hunches, and explore the topic. If the score on our practice work counts for much of our grade, we don’t have the freedom to explore without fear of labeling and rejection.

This, perhaps, is the change in metaphor we need to consider: Grades are not compensation. They never were. Grades are reports of what happened—that’s it. They are communication, and as such, they must be accurate.

If we include such factors as homework performance; the number of days he used a quiet, indoor voice; whether she brought her supplies in a timely manner; if she completed tasks assigned, met deadlines, or brought in canned food for food drives; or a host of other distorting factors, we remove all validity in the initial report of what the students knows and can do regarding the standards/outcomes. Now the grade can no longer be used to inform academic decisions, document progress, or provide accurate feedback. Our enterprise is undermined.

Some suggest that doing homework builds character and therefore should be counted in the grade. I agree that doing assigned tasks, meeting deadlines, managing time, and sticking it out to finish an assignment when you’d rather be watching television all have their place in building character. But responding with inappropriate grading policies is not the way to build moral fiber. Hold students accountable for doing homework and following through on requests from the adults in their lives, but don’t do it through your grading practices. Grades are very poor teachers.

One last thing: There are numerous research reports regarding the impact of homework on student achievement in school, and the correlations are nothing or next to nothing for primary and elementary grades. In middle school there is a small bump, and in high school a slightly higher bump, but the correlation is still stunningly low. We have to accept the fact that while homework is one tool for learning a topic, it is only that—one tool. We have hundreds of other ways to teach students.

If the homework door is closed for whatever reason, it’s not the end of learning. Consider how you would teach if you didn’t have homework assignments to rely upon. When I did this earlier in my career, it changed what I did the classroom. My instruction improved as a result.

So how about you? Is homework important? Do you include it in your grading system? Have your views changed over time?

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The Pathway 2 Success

Solutions for Social Emotional Learning & Executive Functioning

What To Do When a Student Refuses to Work

October 15, 2018 by pathway2success 47 Comments

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Throughout my years teaching middle school, I have had the experience of seeing many “work refusals”. These are the situations when kids, for a variety of reasons, just refuse to start the work you give them. They might shut down and rest their head on their desk or lash out in anger, shouting about how they just will not complete your assignment. This can be extremely frustrating for educators, especially when teaching a well-designed lesson that you thought would go so well! Let me say that sometimes our lessons themselves can have little or no impact on whether or not a student refuses to work. There are quite often bigger challenges at play that we’ll delve into. Quite honestly, even with a special education background, my college and training did not really prepare me for what to do when students refuse to work. These are skills and strategies I had to develop on the ground running while working with young adults. It’s an area I’m especially passionate about because all kids deserve to learn and feel good about themselves. It’s always important to remember that kids who are refusing are reaching out for help in some way, and you CAN be the one to help them.

Let me say that we ALL have bad days here and there! If a student puts their head down during a lesson and won’t finish an assignment because of a headache, it doesn’t mean you need to sound the alarm. This article specifically focuses on the students who repeatedly refuse to complete work and need specific targeted strategies to help them overcome these challenges.

What does work refusal look like? Really, it can be different for every student. Some students put their heads down and don’t pick them up, despite encouragement and prompting. Other students will look you straight in the eyes and say, “I’m NOT doing it!” while they are clearly expecting a response from you! Other kids might just ignore your directions completely and continue doing what they want to do, whether that is coloring, reading, or any other activity they are engaged in. All of these behaviors are work refusals because they are avoiding doing the tasks that the adult is expecting.

What are the reasons for work refusal? If a student is outwardly refusing to do work in the classroom, there is always a reason. Quite often, we don’t know the individual reasons. Some students have had a history of trauma. Again, we may or may not know about the potential trauma. Other students might be dealing with social or emotional challenges at home or in their personal life. Some examples might include a family divorce, a new baby at home, the death of a family member, and feelings of loneliness with a parent working increased hours. Those truly are just a few small examples. Sometimes, when the challenges in a child’s life become so difficult for them, they can have a need to control parts of their life that they can control (like doing work in school or not). Some learners might be diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder, while others aren’t. Other times, a child or teen may truly be bored and not interested in the topics. Regardless of the actual reason, it’s important to take a step back and recognize that the child or young adult is struggling with SOMETHING, whether or not we can see it. Thinking in this way encourages educators to be solution-focused, which is what really matters anyway.

Important note: This entire article is intended to be a bank or toolbox of strategies for teachers to consider when kids are struggling. I know that classroom teachers cannot do it all, and they shouldn’t be expected to. Schools need to support educators in these tough situations, and that includes support from admin and other support staff. Additionally, the biggest changes are made when the teachers, families, and the student work together. Please know that if you are dealing with these very challenging classroom situations, I want to have your back, not put more on your plate.

Strategies are meant as supports. They’re interventions and techniques you can put in place to try and work towards your goal of helping the student get back on track. However, strategies are not a magic wand. They might take time to work or some won’t work for your particular learner. And even the most perfect classroom management and support strategies won’t fix every problem or challenge. With all that said, strategies can make a difference for your struggling learner. When you’re not sure what direction to go, they’re worth a try. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, so it is about finding what works for you and your learners. With all that said, I hope you can find some of these strategies and ideas helpful.

Here are some simple do’s and don’ts for kids who refuse to do work:

DON’T:

• Don’t just punish. If a child or young adult is struggling with some social or emotional challenges at the moment, a punishment is only going to push them away further. Your punishment will appear as harsh, mean, and uncaring. I know that educators do not intend for punishments to feel that way, but for many students, they do, including those with trauma in their past. This isn’t to say you should “let the student get away” with any behavior. Instead, you can use logical consequences, which I explain below.
• Don’t send the student out of the room. I can’t stress this enough! As an educator, I know this is sometimes a preferred option because it deals with the situation swiftly. It does not fix the problem, though. In fact, it will most likely make it worse in the long-term. The student might feel anger and resentment towards you. The message you are sending is that you can’t deal with the situation and you need to send the student out to another teacher or the principal. If a student is just sitting at their desk and refusing to work, it should not be a reason to send them out of class. Kids and young adults are getting much more education being in your room and hearing the discussions than being in the principal’s office.
• Don’t get in a power struggle. No one ever wins in a power struggle! So much energy is wasted is wasted and even if the student eventually complies, it will be filled with resentment. Read up on more ways to avoid power struggles .

• Don’t just assume the child is lazy. So many times, it is often actually easier for the child to comply and do their work and refuse. So, it’s clear that there is something else in play. Reframe your thinking to remember that the child is struggling and needs your support.
• Don’t act out of frustration or anger. When you start to feel frustrated due to a child’s behavior, remember this phrase: “He’s not giving me a hard time, he’s having a hard time.” There is no shame in taking a deep breath and walking away from a situation. As adults, it’s important we are calm and collected so we can make the best choices in each situation. It’s okay to feel frustrated with a situation, just don’t act on that frustration.
• Don’t use threats. You might be tempted to say things like, “If you don’t do your work, I’m going to call your parents,” or “Finish this or you can’t go to gym.” Sometimes, these threats can only make a student dig their heels in deeper and you might regret what you’ve said later on. Instead, be mindful about what you say and make sure your consequences fit the crime.
• Don’t embarrass the student. Again, publicly calling the student out might result in a power struggle or escalating the situation. Instead, consider ways to privately support the student to help both of you get what you need.
• Keep teaching. Just because a student doesn’t lift their pencil up, doesn’t mean they’re not listening and learning. Continue teaching, talking, and even involving that student if they want to participate. Remember that the ultimate goal is to educate the student, not force them to work. If they are in the classroom, keep teaching them!

• Give wait time. When a student refuses work at first, sometimes all they need is a little wait time. It’s okay to let them have their head down or keep their arms crossed. Give some time and wait to see if they come around within 5 minutes or so.
• Ignore the small behaviors. If the student crumples up the paper, breaks their pencil, or scribbles all over it, avoid the impulse to tell the student they shouldn’t do that or give any further instructions. When things like this happen, the student is either agitated or attention-seeking. One intervention that will help in this instance is just giving space.
• Be reflective. Consider what you could be doing that might be triggering the student to refuse to work. For example, are you using a harsh tone? Did you embarrass the student by calling them out for something right before? Sometimes, there isn’t anything apparent, but it’s always worth considering first!
• Focus on the relationship. For many kids, relationship is everything. Put the work aside for a bit. Spend time with your student during lunch, talk with them after class, and really just get to know them. Teach them about you as a person, too! Once a relationship is built, many times your students will have a much easier time working for you because they know you care. This isn’t a quick process, but it’s always important and worth it. Read up on more ways to build relationships with kids and young adults .

• Consider learning challenges. Sometimes students refuse work due to social and emotional challenges, but other times it might be because they think the work is just too hard for them. Consider if the student needs interventions with reading, writing, or math. Sometimes learners might even need direction instruction with executive functioning skills to help them get started and work through challenges. If you are a regular educator, consider discussing the student with the special education teacher or interventionist to get some ideas and strategies.
• Meet with the student privately. It’s important that this is seen as supportive and not punitive. Talk to the student, ask them what’s going on, and problem-solve about how you could help. You might say, “I noticed your morning work isn’t being finished, what is going on with that?” When meeting with a student who is struggling to complete work, the most important thing is to just listen! Try to avoid interjecting your own thoughts about what’s happening or giving your point of view. Let the student talk and sometimes you might be amazed at what you learn. Perhaps the student shares that they hate where they sit because someone keeps talking to them, or that they haven’t been getting any sleep at night due to a crying baby. Be open-minded, listen, and be prepared to problem-solve with the student to help them.

• Use logical consequences (and consider them ahead of time). Logical consequences are outcomes from behavior that make sense. For example, if a student is refusing to finish their morning work, a logical consequence would be using some break time later in the day to finish at least 5 problems or sending it home as homework to be done later.
• Discuss those consequences with the student. Consequences shouldn’t be a surprise to your student. Let them know ahead of time in a positive way. For example, you might say to the whole class, “Everyone needs to finish their work so we can finish watching the rest of the movie.”
• Use de-escalation strategies to help calm the situation. In the moment, it can quickly become a power struggle when a student outwardly tells you they are not doing the work. It is critical to know how to de-escalate a situation. My favorite strategy has always been saying, “Let’s talk about this later.” It gives you the perfect way out of a heated situation with a student while letting other students around know you’re not ignoring the behavior, you’re just dealing with it later. Read up on more de-escalation strategies and use this free printable de-escalation strategy worksheet .

• Give choices. For students who struggle with work completion, consider giving limited choices for assignments. Limiting the number to two is usually best so that it’s not overwhelming, but it still gives control and choice. You might say, “Would you rather write about this prompt in your journal or draw a scene from the text and write a sentence about it?”
• Consider reducing work. Another one of my favorite ways to give choice is to allow the student to choose which 10 problems they will finish. Similarly, you might ask the student to complete only 1 of the 3 essay questions. Sometimes educators have argued that this is making it too easy on the student. Of course, the ultimate goal is to get the student back to completing all the work, without a doubt. However, when a student is outright refusing to do work, completing just one item over none is a success. We all have to start somewhere.
• Use student interests. Find out topics the student enjoys doing and learning about. That might be anything: soccer, dirt bikes, drawing, animals, dance, or even a certain television show. The topics and ideas are endless. Then, use bits of those topics in your instruction to hook the learner and help them feel more interested.
• Provide accommodations. Giving accommodations doesn’t necessarily make an assignment easier, it just gives more options for how the student approaches the task. Allow a student struggling with reading to listen to audio books. If a student isn’t writing, allow them access to a laptop. Give out a calculator to a student who gets fatigued with math problems (provided the math skill isn’t calculations themselves). Give a word bank, provide multiple choices, let the student use manipulatives, and so on.
• Take turns. In line with accommodations, one simple strategy to try (when you can) is to take turns writing and completing problems with the student. For example, you can complete the first problem and write it down on the student’s paper. It helps to think aloud while you’re solving the problem, as this models the behaviors you want to see. Then, have the student complete the second problem. Next, you would complete the third and so on. This is a more collaborative approach that sometimes eases kids and teens into working and finishing their assignments.
• Think about trends. Is the work refusal only happening during math? Or maybe during partner work? Maybe it’s only in the morning or in the afternoon? Think about these trends and really delving into the data can help inform your judgements about what’s really going on.
• Plan breaks. All kids and teens need a break sometimes. Consider adding a preferred activity right after the assignment you want your student to complete. Another option is to schedule meaningful brain breaks .
• Provide different writing utensils. This idea seems crazy, but sometimes it works! Give options for writing such as gel pens or colored pencils instead of just a plain old pencil. Sometimes, the freshness of a new tool can help kids get over that road block of starting. It’s worth a try.
• Consider interventions for task initiation. Our skills for task initiation are like the motor that starts us up. When kids and young adults lack these skills to get started, it can be extremely frustrating for everyone involved. Sometimes, kids don’t actually know HOW to start a challenging task or assignment. It’s important to consider if these skills are lacking when a child or young adult isn’t completing work, because they can be taught. Read up more on this blog post focused on interventions for task initiation skills .
• Create an incentive plan, if needed. Sometimes educators are opposed to incentives plans, and I agree they shouldn’t always be a first strategy. However, there is a time when they can a struggling student work towards their goals. You might develop a contract that outlines what the student is responsible for and what incentives the student will get by completing work. A contract sets the tone that you will stick to your word so you expect that the student makes an effort to do the same. Find out what the student would like to work for, remembering that each individual student is motivated by different things (I’ve had some students who want silent drawing time and others who want to help the custodian, for example). My favorite way to find this out is by using a reward inventory. You can visit here to see more about my reward inventories, behavior plans, and contracts.

• Collaborate with families. It’s important to note that the first time you call the family shouldn’t be to mention that the student isn’t working. I’m a huge believer in always calling to share something positive first. With that said, it is important to share concerns about students who are struggling to work in class. Be mindful of how you communicate this with families, too. Rather than saying the child is “refusing to work,” share that they are “struggling with getting started even on assignments that are at their level.” Collaborate to discuss if anything is going on outside of home with the child and if there are any other strategies you as the educator can try. Often, parents are more than willing to talk with their child and sometimes (definitely not always) this even fixes the issue from the start.
• Focus on your own self-care. This is definitely not stressed enough in the world of education. Working with students who are refusing to work can be emotionally draining. Take time to focus on yourself when you can. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

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October 16, 2018 at 9:50 pm

I am a special education teacher as well. I agree with everything in this article! Very well articulated, thank you for sharing!

October 17, 2018 at 6:07 am

I’m so glad this is helpful. For many years, these were my kids that I loved SO much! I seriously believe that all educators need a lot more training in the area of social emotional needs. It’s just something we didn’t get a lot of training or PD on in college or even beyond. So glad to share this information and hope it helps some teachers and students!

November 14, 2018 at 5:05 pm

Great article! So far your suggestions are working on all but one student ( grade 6). Whenever I give the class short answer questions, she just writes ” I don’t know” on the line but has no problem explaining the correct answer to the class. At first I figured she just didn’t know how to word her answers in writing so I broke down her spoken answer and told her exactly what could write/ type. Yet she still refuses to write anything other than the words “I don’t know” and turn that in. She has been diagnosed with ADD but she does know how to write and spell. She is also pretty well behaved. Do you have any suggestions on how to convince her to write out her answers?

November 23, 2018 at 8:38 pm

How does she do with typing? Is there a computer, laptop, or tablet she could use to record her answers instead? Another suggestion would be let her pick one of the short answers instead of having her write “I don’t know” for all of them. You might say, “Hey, I have an idea. I noticed you’re having trouble with the short answers. What about if I let you pick just ONE to write your ideas for and you can tell me the others out loud and that will count for your grade?”. I have also taken turns writing with students, but I know that can be more challenging in a regular ed environment without a paraeducator available. Does it help if she has a vocabulary bank or sentence starters? What about if it was a paragraph already written with some words missing and she had to fill in the blanks? Please let me know how it goes! -Kris

April 4, 2019 at 9:26 pm

It might be hard for her to hold onto her thinking. Long enough to write it out. Try letting her record it on a device. You could also use speech to text software so she can print it out and turn it in like everyone else.

November 18, 2018 at 5:21 pm

I mean no disrespect to anyone when I ask this, but if such a child is in your classroom, how do you balance this with the needs of the other students?

November 23, 2018 at 8:35 pm

Hi Kathy- Thanks for this question! I don’t take offense to this at all! It’s definitely difficult. I would say the number one thing is to keep teaching and ignore if the student isn’t disruptive. Even though it might be stressful in the moment (because we all want our kids to be actually working), it doesn’t actually need to impact you. Other than that, a lot of the other steps have to happen during downtime, when other students are working, during advisory periods, study halls, lunch, or any other time you can meet privately with the student to help them. Sometimes really small things can make a big difference, like just asking them about their basketball game or how their dog is. The vast majority of times when kids don’t work, it can be improved when the relationship improves. I 100% know that’s not an easy task for regular ed teachers teaching a full class, but it should always be a work in progress.

July 14, 2019 at 6:18 pm

What do you recommend when the refusal is disruptive or the more you accommodate, the more the behavior increases? I had a second grade student last year who I was directed to give breaks and allow him to play with putty. He would pound and talk the whole time and constantly want to show me or other students his creations. Then other students started acting out and wanting “breaks” as well. I do give PAT at the end of each day and try to incorporate a lot of talk time and hands on or whole body activities.

July 21, 2019 at 1:14 pm

Hi Holly! Could that student have used another less distracting calming activity like listening to music or coloring? Or maybe he could have used the putty in the back of the room? I would also say it’s important to teach kids how to use the strategies. Sometimes, we tell them to use putty to calm down but don’t practice and show the “right” way to use it. You sound like you are doing an amazing job just by trying to implement some strategies right in your classroom. Hope you have a great year!

November 29, 2018 at 6:45 am

Wow, great post. It came at a time when I really needed it. Question: What to do when the refusal to not work spreads like a little wildfire? I had that happen yesterday in my class. One boy on the table refused to participate because he wanted to draw instead. Promptly the whole table group decided that they were not going to participate in the game.

December 2, 2018 at 1:50 pm

This is such a good question! A couple things to try: Make the activity even more engaging and fun than doing nothing, split that group up, include more positive role models, give simple praise to those who are doing what they are supposed to do, and maybe some incentives for those completing the work. For a couple of years, I did a “Fun Friday” where students had to finish their regular work assigned first and then they could participate in an activity of their choice for part of Friday. We normally did a movie (didn’t finish the whole thing but part of it) and other kids could color or listen to music. Those who didn’t finish their work had to do that first before getting to the activity. I would also talk with the other students who are “following along” privately and discuss what you expect of them. If they say, “Well why does so-and-so get to do nothing???!”, I would always say, “I’m talking about you right now. This is what I expect from you and sometimes we all need different things in the moment.” If all else fails, I would stop the lesson and do something else! If you can’t beat them, join them, rather than getting upset. Maybe you could turn the lights off and just have time to practice some mindfulness or a discussion about social skills. Good luck to you!

January 27, 2019 at 5:36 pm

i,m wondering about when the child takes it further, without any intervention concerning his refusal and starts making noises, and moving his chair, desk and basically anything while I,m still circulating or returning to the whole class lesson?

January 28, 2019 at 10:08 am

Hi Ginette, great questions and thoughts. I am a big fan of planned ignoring, but you can only ignore so much if it’s impacting the learning of others. I would consider thinking about why the child is behaving in that way. Why are they trying to communicate? Is the work too hard? Do they hate the topic? Could you provide modifications to reduce the level of the assignment? I’d also consider a contract with specific guidelines and incentives. It’s important to make that WITH the child so they have input and buy-in. Brainstorm ideas with the child. Sometimes you can find out a lot from them. I’d think about what they want to earn and help them earn it. Start small! Give them control over the situation as much as you can. If they tell you the class is too loud, let them work where it’s quiet. If they say it’s too hard, let them choose 5 to complete instead of 10. So often, refusal to work can be a way for a child to control their environment. I often say that sometimes it’s actually MORE work for them to avoid the work than actually just do it.. so there is usually somewhat of a reason, even if it doesn’t make sense to us. My final suggestion would be to have a calm down area. If the student is agitated or dysregulated, they might need to place to chill out. Now, this is different from just a “fun” space. Activities like coloring, laying in a bean bag, or squeezing a stress ball might be in this calm down area. After they take some time there, they can return back to completing work when they are ready. Even though they aren’t completing academics in that space, they are learning to self-regulate and they are not distracting others. It’s a much more positive option. Hope that helps! -Kris

January 28, 2019 at 2:38 am

Thanks for the tips. I will be teaching a very challenging year 5 boy this year and, as I am a beginning teacher in my second year, am feeling a little anxious about how i will deal with him. Your article is very helpful and I will print it and keep it in my draw at school to read when I need to.

January 28, 2019 at 10:02 am

Hi Shelley! Good luck to you. I actually think the 2nd year of teaching is the hardest, so I’m sending you lots of love and encouragement! You’re doing the right thing by seeking out other strategies and ideas. The best teachers aren’t the ones who know everything, but the ones who are reflective and willing to learn. I’m so glad this article is helpful! -Kris

February 1, 2019 at 2:18 pm

My son is in second grade and is refusing to do his work. He has a great environment at home, both mom and dad are available to help with things. He has no diagnosis of add, but we are quite certain he has focusing issues. We are trying noise canceling headphones because he says it’s too loud, his teacher is offering s prize if he completes his classwork, and she moved his desk where he can’t face the other students. He isn’t disruptive or disrespectful, but just won’t work. His teacher has help him with her during lunch and recess numerous times. She said it is because it is quiet during that time, so she is hoping to complete the work. He is now being carried to another counselors office several days a week to do work. I applaud the school for trying to help…gosh, it must be distracting to others, but it is just making him feel that his teacher doesn’t like him. I just don’t know what to do. He has low grades, but his testing is high enough that he doesn’t qualify for additional help. When we ask him why he won’t do the work he says it’s just to hard. I really believe him. Any ideas on how I can talk to the teacher? She is doing so much already, but it just might be clashing with what he really needs. I spoke to a mental health counselor that said he needs a more nurturing teacher. It is too late in the year for a change, and no other teacher would likely want him. ?My hands are tied. Ideas?

February 5, 2019 at 6:47 am

Thanks so much for writing in. I’m so sorry your son is having trouble. To me, it sounds like he’s having a lot of trouble with task initiation and attention skills, both of which can be taught and discussed explicitly with him. It sounds like he’s a smart kid who is struggling and needs intervention in this area. Our skills for task initiation are basically the motor inside of us that helps us to get started. I actually JUST wrote a whole blog post on this topic with interventions, strategies, and supports. You can find it here: https://www.thepathway2success.com/interventions-for-executive-functioning-challenges-task-initiation/ And I’ll link to it within the article so others can easily find it, too! I’m planning to add another post about strategies for kids who struggle with attention, too.

I’d also question if he needs more support in confidence-building. Does he do the work when he leaves the class and works with an adult? What about when the work is reduced or modified a little? If so, I would build on that. I’d also incorporate things he likes or does well into the classroom- make him the star in some way.

Finally, I’d encourage looking into outside counseling. Once a relationship is build, sometimes kids can open up more to someone who isn’t involved in their school and home life about what’s going on. Maybe that counselor can think of new strategies with him, help him build his mental toughness, and then collaborate with the school to provide strategies and supports.

March 29, 2019 at 4:22 pm

I wanted to ask what do I do with students that do not do their work as a 7th grade teacher. I’m in my second year as a teacher and struggled with this in my first year. I let my students know that it is their choice that they don’t do their work and that I am disappointed by the decision they are making, but they shrug it off and don’t seem to care. I don’t want to give them a zero on the assignment, but I don’t see any other option. Any advice on what I can do?

April 1, 2019 at 1:38 pm

Hi Steven- I know from experience it can feel frustrating when kids don’t do their work. There are so many reasons why they struggle or outright refuse to do it, but there is a lot you can do. The number one thing is to focus on strong relationships (with all of your learners that’s important, but especially these students who don’t do their work). Have lunch with them, talk with them before/after class, visit them at their basketball game, etc. It doesn’t always make magic happen right away but I truly feel that kids will push themselves a little bit more if they know you are one of the good ones. Besides that, I’d meet with that student and just talk with them. See if they are feeling overwhelmed, if the work is hard for them, and brainstorm solutions. Another option is giving them more choice in assignments. Instead of writing an essay, can some students elect to write a poem or draw a scene from the novel? There are a ton of options but most importantly you have to try and think outside the box. Finally, find out what they are interested in earning and make a plan to help them get there! Maybe they want to get an extra period of gym or bring a friend to study hall. Make a point system or something to help them achieve that goal. You might want to reach out to the school counselor or another support staff to help brainstorm ideas, too. Wishing you all the luck!

April 24, 2019 at 1:20 am

Dang my teachers should read this…

May 11, 2019 at 6:47 pm

Work refusal is very common in children struggling with PAN/PANDAS. Often in the area of writing and math. 1/200 children suffer from this nightmare. These approaches would be helpful especially the stay calm and work on building the relationship. It’s best to think of refusal as anxiety and stay positive while reducing demands.

May 22, 2019 at 3:38 pm

I have a son with ADHD and a mood aggression disorder. He is in 4th grade this year and towards the end of the school decided any subject that contains reading or writing he wasn’t going to do it. Since he has the mood aggression the teacher just said fine then I will send it home for you to do or makes him go home.

So now my son knows if he says the right thing he can get out of work, which I find so wrong for the school to allow. This is basically teaching my son how to be a bully and get what he wants.

I have been trying to work with the school but it is a battle every step. He on a 504 plan but I am yet to see this school follow it in full and have tried to find outside help so my son can learn. When I question anything about the school and if there is anyone else available to help teach my son I get this defense response.

Any ideas???

June 24, 2019 at 1:03 pm

Hi Cindy- I can’t give specific advice for your son since I don’t know him personally. I would 100% encourage you to continue working with the school in a positive way as much as possible. Regular meetings might be a good idea. Does your son do the work when he is at home (even if he chooses to not do it at school)? Maybe you should share some strategies about how/why your son works better at home if that is the case. For example, maybe he does better in a private area or while listening to music (just examples). These are strategies that the school could try if they work at home for him. As an educator, I would say it’s extremely important for your son to see you and the school as a unified team. If it isn’t working, I would encourage you to seek a parent advocate in your area to help you work on those issues with the school team! Good luck to you!

September 27, 2019 at 12:49 pm

My wife just received a call from my son’s teacher that he is refusing to do art work. He instead is choosing to read. My wife called me and she wants to ground him and take away video games. I’m not sure what the teacher has attempted to get my son to do his work. I don’t think grounding him and taking away privileges is the right strategy. Not sure what to do.

September 27, 2019 at 5:21 pm

Great question! I would first talk with your son and figure out what’s going on. Be inquisitive first. Then, problem solve together and help him understand the expectations. I’m more of a fan of incentives than punishments. Also, just to put things into perspective, reading isn’t the worst thing to do instead of art work! Still, I would want to find out what is going on and what is causing your son to not do his art work. You might also want to call the teacher or have a conference to find out what else is going on in the class from her perspective. Most importantly, it’s critical that your son sees you, your wife, and the teacher as a united front. This often makes a huge difference! Feel free to send the teacher this link or share some of the suggestions as well. Good luck to you!

October 10, 2019 at 4:02 pm

What do you do when you co teach in a middle school class with 25+ students and 6 have diagnosed behavior disorders, those plus 5 more have learning disabilities and everyone “feeds off each other”? At any given time, 2 are shouting at each other, 1 is spinning in circles or rolling on the floor, 3 are blurting random things across the room at each other trying to “one up” the other. Suffice it to say, no one is learning anything about anything, except maybe some different inappropriate behaviors they hadn’t thought of before. It’s like “whack a mole” with exploding moles. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

October 10, 2019 at 4:42 pm

Hi Barbara, I hear you. That is extremely frustrating. Something that has helped me in the past is “sometimes you have to go backwards before you can move forwards.” Perhaps you can spend some time on relationship-building and social skills in the classroom. If you are a general education teacher, I recognize this seems counter-productive since you should be able to focus on your content. Sometimes, though, the other skills need to come first. I’d also take some time to be reflective about your class structure, routines, and activities. The more routine, the better. Keep it simple if possible. For example, maybe you have a 5 minute warm up that kids silently do at their desks while coming in, then a 10 minute mini-lesson, and then an activity. I’d also do something to encourage kids to do their best. Many years, I had a “Fun Friday” where kids could watch a movie and/or color at the desks during our resource time if they were caught up on work. It might look different for you depending on your structure but incentives can be a powerful tool if used right. I would also encourage you to reach out to the special education teacher, school counselor, and any other support staff. Have them come visit your room and ask for suggestions! I think sometimes, as teachers, we get stuck in our own rooms and forget that we can reach out for help from others. Wishing you lots of luck for the rest of the school year!

November 21, 2019 at 10:51 am

Thank you so much for this article. My son is in 6th grade and he has Autism(ASD level 2). He is high functioning so he is in regular classroom setting, but he is constantly getting in trouble for refusing to do his work. I am going to pass some of these suggestions on to his teachers and maybe he won’t stay in trouble so much. Thank you for all you do as an educator.

November 26, 2019 at 6:53 pm

I’m so glad this article was helpful. That’s a great idea to pass the information along. Still too often, kids with autism are really misunderstood. If you continue to have trouble, it’s always a good idea to call an IEP meeting to go over the supports in place and make sure the plan is working for him. Good luck to you and your son! -Kris

November 22, 2019 at 10:33 am

Do you have any suggestions for a 15 year old that just won’t get motivated? But she will help her friends with the same homework she refuses to complete herself. She does have ADD, anxiety, and Depression. She tends to deflect work, lack organizational skills, would rather sleep or watch Netflix . I would also appreciate a suggestion on some of your products that could possibly help. Any ideas would greatly be appreciated. Thank you for your time.

November 26, 2019 at 6:50 pm

Hi Nicole- I do have a motivation workbook I created to help young adults improve some of these skills. You can find that here: https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Motivation-Workbook-2725265

I’d investigate a bit more as to why she won’t complete it on her own. Could it be a writing issue? Is writing challenging for her, either academically or physically? Could she try using speech to text for some assignments? I would also start really small and build her up. Sometimes, kids and young adults develop a sense of learned helplessness when there is too much homework that they can’t realistically complete. I’d also look into what time she could complete the work in school, maybe with adult or partner support. For example, maybe there is a resource room or guided study hall time where she could get it done and not have any homework for home. I’m also a huge fan of choice: You can complete ___ or ____ for homework. Even when we feel kids are not motivated by anything, it’s important to remember that they are often motivated by something. Just sometimes we haven’t found that something yet. Continue building a relationship with her and try to find what she’s interested in. If there is any way you can allow her to earn it with a little bit of extra work, that’s a good thing. Finally, last thoughts would be to make sure she has the academic skills to succeed. If not, teach them separately in a study skills class. Good luck to you! -Kris

April 7, 2020 at 8:46 am

What a truly amazing article! I stumbled upon it as I am currently writing an article about my blog, http://www.languageproject.gr . I am a foreign language teacher, located in Athens, Greece. The whole country has been under quarantine for more than a month as a means of prevention for covid-19 virus and all teachers are having Skype lessons. I have organised everything right, however I see one by one my students underperforming and being in denial to study. Usually, I am a demanding teacher but I have become more understanding, highly more encouraging and motivating teacher than ever before. Your article provides excellent advice on how to deal with our students now that circumstances are indeed unprecedented.

Thank you and please continue your amazing work!

P.S. I am also studying arabic and as a student myself I have been falling behind on my studying with no excuse. So, the psychological implications have an impact on everyone, regardless of age.

September 8, 2020 at 6:25 pm

Any tips for a parent or ideas when we should be contacting teachers over incomplete work? My now 6th grader has consistently came home with over half of her classwork assignments still to complete, on top of the normal homework assignments since we started school 4 weeks ago. I thought just give her some adjustment time to adapt to the higher demand that 6th grade brings at first.. It’s 2-4 hours more at home and some times we are still on school work past bedtime still this far in.. I’m running on empty at this point because I don’t know how to motivate her to complete classwork during class time. She has admitted to getting “bored” sometimes and just reading a book instead of doing her assignments. Won’t tell anyone if she is struggling with something until specifically asked. It’s all gone to online, and now with the books requiring multiple reference pages its gotten more complicated.

September 26, 2020 at 3:24 am

Why would a student even think this is an option? In school in the 60s, I had classmates who were poor, some from single-parent households and one with a disability. Never ever did any student ever pull an, ” I’m just not going to do this work “attitude” because it would not have been tolerated. It was literally unthinkable. Thankfully there was no tolerance for such behavior. It made us better students and better people. So how did it become acceptable? I have never seen such coddling and excuses made for bad behavior. This is why teachers are burnt out and learning is diminished. This idea that discipline is cruel, or unkind or “mean” is destroying education.

September 29, 2020 at 2:55 pm

Hi, This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this criticism and it certainly won’t be the last so I’m happy to try and respond. I think there are a couple things at play here. One is we live in a very different world from 10, 20, or 30 years ago. We can go along pretending everything is the same or adjust. I think, from an education standpoint, adjusting is critical to meet kids and teens where they are. The second consideration is that we know a lot more about trauma and challenges kids and teens face. Just because we tell a kid to work doesn’t mean they will. Just because we tell them they have to do something doesn’t make them listen. These strategies are all about problem-solving. Problems don’t get fixed on their own or because we tell kids to do the work. There’s no magic wand here. A lot of this is really rooted in relationships from the start. And if you follow me, you might know already I’m a huge advocate for meaningful and logical consequences. I couldn’t agree more that kids and teens need to be responsible for their behaviors. I actually highlight that in the article as well. I can definitely add it to my to do list to create an article just on logical consequences and how they are different from punishments. It’s worth of attention for sure. And finally, I agree with you about educators being burnt out. I have been there and have the most amount of empathy for that. That’s why the last point in the article is to focus on self-care. I’m a huge advocate for educator self-care in general. Thanks for your feedback. If you have other suggestions on how to help kids and teens when they refuse work feel free to share! I’m always open to hear suggestions and I’m always learning. Feel free to reach out anytime. -Kris

October 6, 2020 at 12:29 pm

I had this behaviour as a kid and well I still have it actually even as an adult. But I have learned to swallow it as best as I can and produce a good work (I’m at uni now, masters degree in environmental science soon). In my case it has been due to one of or several of these factors, ever since I was a 6 years old:

1- I got super anxious because I did not wanna fail. I wanted it to be a great work and if I fared I would fail, I would not wanna start. But I was not aware this was one of the reasons before I became an adult. A child most probably does not know what blocks them or makes them scared/anxious.

2- I felt the teacher was unhelpful and not even seing me or validating me. I would find the teacher unfair for giving me tasks and it would turn into resentment and anger. If the teacher was walking aruond attending other classmates I would percieve it as her/him helping them but not me. Even if the teacher was spending the same time on everyone, I would not percieve it that way when I was amped up with anxiety and anger. Oh I can remember the EXACT feelings I would have during those moments.

3- There would be instances where I would feel I was in disadvantage and that it was unfair. I was not good with math for example. I knew I was not stupid. I just had a harder time with for example math and I remember I would refuse doing math assigments bc I felt I did not get the help I needed. I was very good with all the other subjects. I also had good memory and loved reading/writing. But math was my nemesis.

4- Instances where I did not understand the point of the assignment. this would automatically make me feel the teacher was incompetent. And I just did not wanna participate because I felt it was a pointless assignment and the teacher clearly did not know what she/he was doing. Believe me, even a middle school child is able to assess the quality of an assigment or the teacher, I know I did.

5- Or if the child has it rough at home or have a lot of anxiety and feels depressed etc, they will act it out with anger and frustration!

I believe I could go on and on about this lol

Reflecting back on it, whenever I felt above things about an assignment I would have been able to get over it if The teacher was warm and affectionat, showed me real care and that he/she understood me. And made it clear that he/she just wants me to “do my best”. That would take the pressure out of it. Perfectionist kids puts so much pressure on themselves that they literally get a mental block. Relieving that pressure is key and some simple words and attention would most often suffice.

Make sure the assignment is interesting and as fun as possible. Also don’t dumb it down. Make sure the child really understands how to do it, what steps to take and what the expected outcomes are. And why, why should the student invest her/his time and energy on this? Whats in it for him/her? And please don’t mention negative consequenses as it most certainly will fuel the students anxieties even more. Relieve the pressure and anxiety for the child.

I have no clue about teaching and the teacher profession, but these are my own personal experiences as that rebelling, assignment refusing nay saying child lol

October 9, 2020 at 2:25 pm

This made me so happy and definitely worked! So wonderful to see someone so dedicated to helping others realize that yelling is rarely the best solution :) Your tips saved my behind in class today and I couldn’t be more thankful. Hoping this year is treating you well!

February 6, 2021 at 4:22 am

My grandson was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 5. He is in the 5th grade this year. In the past few years he was an A & B student. This year he is refusing to do his work and is making Fs in 2 subjects. He basically started this behavior after Christmas break. His mom had a stroke in May of 2020 and doesn’t spend a lot of time with him. She is not a hands on mom because of the stroke. As of recently she has been spending less time with him due to her symptoms getting worse from her illness. He now has to do things for himself…such as picking out his clothes for school packing his bag and going to the bus stop by himself. He also puts himself to bed at night because she goes to bed around 7:00 pm every evening. Do you think the behavior he is exhibiting is due to his home life? His school is working to try and find a solution to his problems. Thanks

March 23, 2021 at 8:38 am

Hi Peggy, I can’t give specific advice about your grandson but happy to give some general insight. First off, I’m so sorry for all he’s going through. All those changes and then a crazy pandemic year on top of it all. It’s a lot for any kid to deal with. I’m glad the school is working towards a solution. Giving kids grace during a tough time is seriously important. Feel free to share this article with them (if you want) to give some ideas in a supportive way. Sending love and support your way. -Kris

February 8, 2021 at 4:40 pm

Hi! Just wondering if you had any advice for a kindergarten who is very smart but is refusing to do work at school on a regular basis. Unfortunately I am a single mom that works a full time job. But still trying to keep a consistent schedule and work with him.

March 23, 2021 at 8:35 am

Hi Lisa, A lot of what I’d suggest is right in the article. I’d start small with routines and rewards. I would also suggest trying taking turns with work (I do 1, you do 1). I hope one of the ideas helps – and it’s important to mention that change happens slowly over time! Thanks for all you do! -Kris

May 19, 2021 at 9:21 am

November 30, 2021 at 9:07 am

I have a Middle School new student who (after seemingly testing the waters since the beginning of school) is at the point where he does little or nothing in most classes and readily admits it’s because there are literally no consequences.

Suggestions?

December 20, 2021 at 4:23 pm

The number one thing is to build a relationship. I know that takes time. Find out what he likes, what he’s good at, what inspires him. And make a plan together to help him learn and do his best.

February 13, 2022 at 11:27 am

Nice article! I had a bright first grader consistently refuse to do his fact sheet of 20 math problems. I used movement to help him complete the task. I told him to just complete the first row of 5 facts. He was shocked! Once he completed that row, I told him he could walk around the room. Once he returned to his seat, he completed the next row. He continued working a little and walking until he finished the assignment. He appreciated breaking the assignment into smaller parts and permission to move about the room.

September 24, 2022 at 5:40 pm

I just found your awesome site and this article is just great! I can’t wait to explore your resources as well. I am a student teacher supervisor and have one class that has had so many behavioral issues from follow them from little up to now in an upper elementary grade. It’s the kind of class that teachers have ‘tried everything’ with. I think that this article will be so helpful to my student teacher and maybe even her cooperating teacher. Our student teachers have not been able to put any of these types of strategies into play/observe as they have not been able to be in classrooms prior to student teaching due to COVID restrictions. I plan to get them on your website and share as much as possible. They need all the tools in their toolboxes as they go out into the classrooms! Thanks so much for provide these resources!

October 2, 2022 at 10:41 pm

Great article, great lovable ways to manage when students refuses to work. I complete agree with this article because one must not fight with a student, instead walk a mile in his her shoes since no one knows what is on their heads and one can’t assume laziness or other adjectives to describe the student.

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What to Do When Your Teen is Failing School and Doesn’t Care

Elisa Cinelli

A report card full of D’s and F’s can be upsetting for a parent to see. It’s especially frustrating if it seems like your teen just doesn’t care.

 But what do you do? 

You can’t force your kid to put their best effort into their schoolwork, and trying to do so may damage your relationship.

On the other hand, teens can’t always grasp how important their high school grades are and what effect they may have on their futures. Parents should do their best to set their kids up for success and rule out any barriers that may be the root cause of their child’s poor school performance.

Related: A+ Parenting: 9 Tips to Boost Bad Grades

Ahead, we outline the actions that you can take if your teenager is failing school because of a seeming lack of motivation .

Ask an Expert: What Do I Do if My Kid Doesn't Care About School or Grades?

Connie Collins , a professional school counselor with over 35 years working in education as both a teacher and school counselor, weighs in on how concerned parents should respond to kids or teens who don’t put any effort into school or try to get good grades

  Q: My son is in seventh grade and is failing most classes. He has the ability to get As and Bs without much effort, but he doesn't care and either hurries through his homework or just doesn't do it at all.   I've tried punishing him, taking things away, talking with him, and meeting with teachers and counselors , but nothing seems to work. Any ideas on how to get him to care about school and his grades?   A: You say you have talked with his teachers and counselors. Did those meetings result in a plan? Was your son involved in that plan? If the answers are no, I would suggest going back to the school and doing just that. Is there a set time and place free of TV, computer, stereo, etc. for him to do this homework? Does he have to use that time reading if he says he doesn't have homework?  Do you or your partner spend some study time with him talking about his work and checking it over?  Where does the homework go when finished – in his folder, in his backpack, near the door?  Many bright seventh-graders have no idea how to organize or how to study. Does he need some help in this area? You speak of punishment and rewards , but not of consequences. Are they logical and immediate?  What happens if he fails seventh grade? Have you decided as a family and made clear to him that he will be spending summer going to summer school – not on vacation or being with his friends?  That might help put things into perspective and show him that doing well in school impacts other parts of his life. 

Set Your Teen up For Success in School

Teenagers aren’t full-fledged adults yet, and they are still developing their executive function skills. Setting up a schedule and a quiet environment for them to study in can go a long way in helping them succeed. 

Often a bit of external structure can help your child get a good grade. The resulting feeling may help them develop intrinsic motivation.

• Choose a table in a room free from distractions. If possible, the table should be completely clear of anything but your kid’s work.
• Make a schedule. When is your teen going to work? Should they come home and study first thing after school before they have free time, or will it work better for them to have a snack and some downtime to socialize first? The answer to this will depend on your child. Involve them in this decision.
• Buy a planner. If your teenager doesn’t already have a planner, have them pick one out. Show them how to list out homework and study tasks with a box next to each that they can check off once complete.

Identify the Obstacles

Often what looks like laziness is truly overwhelming. Don’t assume that your child just doesn’t care. When missing assignments snowball, kids can start to feel like they’ll never catch up. Try to figure out what is stopping them from completing their work.

Sit down and have a conversation with your teen, without judgment. Make it very clear that you are not upset and that they are not in trouble.

 The goal is to get them to open up to you so that the two of you can get to the bottom of what’s causing their bad grades.

Common obstacles include:

• Volume of reading is too high or the material is too complex
• Foundational math or science skills weren’t mastered so now the more advanced classes aren’t accessible to your child
• Difficulty balancing academics and sports or other activities
• Not enough time to do all the work (might need to prioritize)
• A condition such as ADHD or a learning disability that makes school more challenging 
• Mental health needs to be addressed — maybe bullying or another issue is impacting your teen’s self-esteem and needs to be taken care of with professional help before your child can focus properly on academics

Consider Accommodations

“Not caring” can be a coping mechanism for kids who have given up because they have lost their confidence. It’s possible for learning disabilities to show up at an older age, even if they didn’t seem obvious during the elementary years.

Talk to your school counselor about your concerns and they will help you decide whether you want to assess your child. If you do, make sure that your child understands that you don’t think there is anything wrong with them, but you want to learn more about how you and the school can help them. 

You might also let them decide whether they want to be assessed.

Possible learning disabilities include:

• Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder : affects the ability to focus and executive functioning
• Dyscalculia : difficulty with math and logical thinking
• Dysgraphia : problems with handwriting and spelling
• Dyslexia : affects reading and language processing

Emotional trauma or mental health issues may also be a barrier to your teen’s motivation and academic success. 

You should also consider whether they might need therapy or antidepressants to help get them through a difficult time and to support their school achievement.

Use Natural Consequences

Experience is often the best teacher. Try to let your child suffer the natural consequences of failing whenever possible. It can be tempting to swoop in and save our kids at the last minute, but it’s better for them to learn the consequences of their actions while they are young.

 It’s better to be stuck in summer school because you didn’t do your work than to be fired from a job at an older age in “real life.”

That being said, natural consequences are not always the safe choice. You don’t want to let your child fail without giving them the support they need. Use your judgment when using natural consequences with teens, and regardless, make sure they know that you are always there for them and that you love them unconditionally.

These strategies are less effective with teens, who are becoming more independent (a good thing!). If it becomes a power struggle, it’s not likely to help motivate your teen to care.

If you say, “You can’t play video games until you have done your homework,” you’re likely to end up with a teen who doesn’t do either and doesn’t care. But if your kid wants to avoid having to repeat a school year of high school, they may decide to do their work on their own.

Set Goals Together

Try sitting down with your teen and coming up with some goals together. Remember, these are your kid’s goals, not yours. 

You’ll never be able to force them to get on board with your goals. And you shouldn’t have to. A 14-year-old or 15-year-old kid should be coming up with their own plans for their future.

Start by looking at the long term. What do they want to achieve when they grow up? What options do they want available to them? That’s completely up to them. The next step is to set short-term goals that work towards their long-term goal. his is where you come in. 

 Your job is to help them see what stepping stones there are along the road to their aspirations. And that might not mean that they need to be a straight-A student or that they need to attend a university instead of a community college . There are many ways for teens to succeed that don’t revolve around their grades. 

Remember though — the short-term goals need to align with what your kids want to achieve. Pushing your own narrative won’t get them to care. But supporting their dreams likely will.

Steps for Setting Academic Goals: 

• Have your teen come up with one to three long-term goals for their future — where do they want to be in 5 or 10 years? 
• Help them come up with short-term goals that lead directly to their long-term goal. For example: focusing on studying for biology class now will help them if they want to become a veterinarian after college 
• Figure out what support they need to meet their short-term goals and help them get that support.
• Write out a plan with actionable steps that your teen can check off. We recommend our High School Homework Checklist for Parents . 

Check Your Relationship with Your Teen

It’s normal if your relationship with your teen seems to be a bit strained. Teenagers are gaining independence and trying to fit in with their peer’s values . This is all healthy and expected.

That being said, the teenage years are also one of the most important times to nurture your relationship. You want your teen to be able to trust that they can come to you for anything.

Falling grades or apathy about school may be a sign that your teen needs you more than ever. Consider how much quality family time you are spending. 

With parents’ and teens’ jam-packed schedules, it’s easy to lose track of that family dinner or find time just to sit and talk. 

Even if it’s just in the car on the way to practice, try to carve out some time for you and your teen to be together and enjoy each other’s company.

If your child’s grades are slipping or they seem to have lowered motivation, building a better relationship with you – their parent – can help. 

Parental support builds trust so that they feel comfortable telling you about what might be wrong or what they might be struggling with. It also helps to elevate your child’s mood and self-esteem which may have a positive effect on motivation.

Most important of all, ensure that your child knows that you will always love them, no matter their grades.

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‘There’s Only so Far I Can Take Them’ – Why Teachers Give Up on Struggling Students Who Don’t Do Their Homework

Failure to complete homework leaves students in the lurch.

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Whenever “Gina,” a fifth grader at a suburban public school on the East Coast, did her math homework, she never had to worry about whether she could get help from her mom.

“I help her a lot with homework,” Gina’s mother, a married, mid-level manager for a health care company, explained to us during an interview for a study we did about how teachers view students who complete their homework versus those who do not.

“I try to maybe re-explain things, like, things she might not understand,” Gina’s mom continued. “Like, if she’s struggling, I try to teach her a different way. I understand that Gina is a very visual child but also needs to hear things, too. I know that when I’m reading it, and I’m writing it, and I’m saying it to her, she comprehends it better.”

One of us is a sociologist who looks at how schools favor middle-class families . The other is a math education professor who examines how math teachers perceive their students based on their work.

We were curious about how teachers reward students who complete their homework and penalize and criticize those who don’t – and whether there was any link between those things and family income.

By analyzing student report cards and interviewing teachers, students and parents, we found that teachers gave good grades for homework effort and other rewards to students from middle-class families like Gina, who happen to have college-educated parents who take an active role in helping their children complete their homework.

But when it comes to students such as “Jesse,” who attends the same school as Gina and is the child of a poor, single mother of two, we found that teachers had a more bleak outlook.

The names “Jesse” and “Gina” are pseudonyms to protect the children’s identities. Jesse can’t count on his mom to help with his homework because she struggled in school herself.

“I had many difficulties in school,” Jesse’s mom told us for the same study. “I had behavior issues, attention-deficit. And so after seventh grade, they sent me to an alternative high school, which I thought was the worst thing in the world. We literally did, like, first and second grade work. So my education was horrible.”

Jesse’s mother admitted she still can’t figure out division to this day.

“[My son will] ask me a question, and I’ll go look at it and it’s like algebra, in fifth grade. And I’m like: ‘What’s this?’” Jesse’s mom said. “So it’s really hard. Sometimes you just feel stupid. Because he’s in fifth grade. And I’m like, I should be able to help my son with his homework in fifth grade.”

Unlike Gina’s parents, who are married and own their own home in a middle-class neighborhood, Jesse’s mom isn’t married and rents a place in a mobile home community. She had Jesse when she was a teenager and was raising Jesse and his brother mostly on her own, though with some help from her parents. Her son is eligible for free lunch.

An issue of equity

As a matter of fairness, we think teachers should take these kinds of economic and social disparities into account in how they teach and grade students. But what we found in the schools we observed is that they usually don’t, and instead they seemed to accept inequality as destiny. Consider, for instance, what a fourth grade teacher – one of 22 teachers we interviewed and observed during the study – told us about students and homework.

“I feel like there’s a pocket here – a lower income pocket,” one teacher said. “And that trickles down to less support at home, homework not being done, stuff not being returned and signed. It should be almost 50-50 between home and school. If they don’t have the support at home, there’s only so far I can take them. If they’re not going to go home and do their homework, there’s just not much I can do.”

While educators recognize the different levels of resources that students have at home, they continue to assign homework that is too difficult for students to complete independently, and reward students who complete the homework anyway.

Consider, for example, how one seventh grade teacher described his approach to homework: “I post the answers to the homework for every course online. The kids do the homework, and they’re supposed to check it and figure out if they need extra help. The kids who do that, there is an amazing correlation between that and positive grades. The kids who don’t do that are bombing.

“I need to drill that to parents that they need to check homework with their student, get it checked to see if it’s right or wrong and then ask me questions. I don’t want to use class time to go over homework.”

The problem is that the benefits of homework are not uniformly distributed. Rather, research shows that students from high-income families make bigger achievement gains through homework than students from low-income families.

This relationship has been found in both U.S. and Dutch schools , and it suggests that homework may contribute to disparities in students’ performance in school.

Tougher struggles

On top of uneven academic benefits, research also reveals that making sense of the math homework assigned in U.S schools is often more difficult for parents who have limited educational attainment , parents who feel anxious over mathematical content . It is also difficult for parents who learned math using different approaches than those currently taught in the U.S. .

Meanwhile, students from more-privileged families are disproportionately more likely to have a parent or a tutor available after school to help with homework, as well as parents who encourage them to seek help from their teachers if they have questions . And they are also more likely to have parents who feel entitled to intervene at school on their behalf.

False ideas about merit

In the schools we observed, teachers interpreted homework inequalities through what social scientists call the myth of meritocracy . The myth suggests that all students in the U.S. have the same opportunities to succeed in school and that any differences in students’ outcomes are the result of different levels of effort. Teachers in our study said things that are in line with this belief.

For instance, one third grade teacher told us: “We’re dealing with some really struggling kids. There are parents that I’ve never even met. They don’t come to conferences. There’s been no communication whatsoever. … I’ll write notes home or emails; they never respond. There are kids who never do their homework, and clearly the parents are OK with that.

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Why Teachers Give Up on Struggling Students Who Don’t Do Their Homework

By Jessica Calarco & Ilana Horn

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Classroom Management , Equity Resources , Truth for Teachers Collective   |   May 7, 2023

Students not turning in homework? 4 common mistakes to avoid (and what to do instead)

By Kim Lepre

Homework is typically the bane of students and the Achilles heel of teachers.

On the one hand, regular practice outside of the classroom can help students retain information and reinforce learning. On the other, it’s also difficult to motivate students to do the work without coercion or consequences.

While the debate over the efficacy of homework continues to rage on, one thing remains clear: there will always be students who seemingly refuse to submit their homework. So how in the WORLD do we get these kids to just DO IT?

If you’re struggling to get students to submit work on a regular basis, there may be a problem in your systems that, once fixed, can increase not only the likelihood of your students submitting but also increase their academic success. Here are four common mistakes that teachers make about submitting homework, and what you can do instead.

Mistake #1: Not understanding the real reason why students don’t submit homework

Before we delve into tactics, it’s important to understand WHY students won’t submit their work. We often chalk it up to laziness, forgetfulness, not paying attention in class or just poor time management. While these can definitely contribute to the problem, the issue often lies much deeper than that.

First, fear of failure or overall confusion plagues many of our students. They don’t understand the assignment or concept and lack the motivation or resources to get help. A lot of times, they don’t speak up in class and ask questions for these same reasons, so they’re less likely to practice something that they’re confused about.

Also, many of our students are perfectionists and won’t submit work if it’s “not right.” As illogical as it sounds, if they didn’t have time to complete the assignment, they’d rather take the zero and not submit rather than give you incomplete work. Or if it’s not up to their unreasonably high standards, they won’t turn it in.

Additionally, general overwhelm and mental health issues such as anxiety and depression definitely play a role for many of our students. Not all parents have been able to address these concerns in their children, and some may be inadvertently exacerbating the symptoms with their own high expectations. If a student simply can’t handle even looking let alone starting your assignment, you definitely won’t get any work from them.

Finally, students may just not want to do your assignment because they don’t see the point. As harsh as it sounds, students know when they’re given “busy work.” To them, meaningless packets with 100 of the same problem are not only demoralizing but also a waste of time. So some students may just choose to not do it at all or they may start and eventually give up.

Mistake #2: Not setting and maintaining expectations

At the beginning of the school year, we’re VERY good about training our students on what our work submission processes are. You may even have a syllabus with these expectations spelled out, assuming that our students and their parents read it.

Most of us have a routine set, which works for the majority of the kids. But there are always a few that seem to slip through the cracks due to reasons in the first mistake. Maybe they have an IEP and need more intentional organization. Maybe they fell asleep in class and didn’t hear you give the deadline. Or perhaps they were in the bathroom when you announced it. Either way, we can preach responsibility  and accountability all we want, but if they’re just incapable of doing it on their own, we can decide to help them or let them fall and “learn their lesson.”

If we’re unwilling to consistently help these students that struggle with deadlines, then honestly, we have to share the blame. They’re still developing good habits, and what we try to reinforce only goes so far if it’s not reinforced at home. While it’s not our job to parent our students, we can still help with teaching and modeling what the expectations are and give grace when students stumble.

Basically, if it’s that important to you that they submit an assignment on time, then don’t assume that all of the students know what to do or how to meet those deadlines.

Mistake #3: Utilizing a one-size-fits-all approach to submission

As mentioned in the previous two mistakes, there are a lot of reasons why students aren’t submitting their homework. In terms of solving that problem in your class, you have two options: 1) Being frustrated but still letting them suffer the consequences, or 2) working with the students that struggle the most.

It may seem unfair to make special accommodations or arrangements for certain students, but that’s like saying it’s unfair that, at 5’1”, I need a stool to reach the top shelf while you may be able to easily stick your hand up there.

Does it REALLY matter if we both get what we need from that shelf?

Some students may need extra time or personal invitations to submit something. You might even have to modify the assignment for them just so that you have some form of work from which to assess. This can be annoying and time-consuming since you have so many other students to worry about.

But if it really bothers you that Jason doesn’t ever turn in his work, and asking or reminding him each time actually results in him turning in something , then ask yourself if it’s worth it.

If eight students regularly fail to turn in their homework, investigate what’s holding them up and what you can do to encourage them. Maybe they need an accountability partner. Perhaps you could show and remind them how to set a notification on their phone or device. You could encourage them to use a paper planner to stay more organized.

These definitely take more effort, and sometimes the lack of rewards makes it unsatisfying. But often, a student just doesn’t know how to advocate for themselves, and you being persistent can lay the foundation for them to be successful in other classes and in the future.

Mistake #4: Not involving parents and other adults

Along with the previous mistake, sometimes we forget that we can also deploy the troops, i.e., our students’ parents/guardians. While at times we feel at odds with some parents since they have such a negative perception of teachers and the education system in general, many are willing to do their part if we are explicit about how they can help.

It can be scary to send out notices to parents because they sometimes reply with an angry response or something completely unrelated. There have definitely been times when I wished that I hadn’t sent an email at all because I was inundated with responses.

But in the case of having students turn in their assignments on time, it just might be worth it. Students don’t necessarily talk to their parents about their work, and if they are experiencing one of the aforementioned reasons why they won’t do work, they’re certainly not going to divulge. So just a simple email with a calendar of deadlines or just a reminder of an upcoming due date would greatly increase the rate of homework submission.

For larger assignments, I’ve also explained what is due to parents so that they can help their student double-check that they completed everything. You’d be surprised how many parents want to sit down and help their student, but they don’t understand what’s expected. It does take a bit of time to do this, but with new tools like ChatGPT, you can craft these messages in a matter of seconds.

If you’re using an online grading system, they often have the capability for parents to see your grade book and online calendar. If you have this, then taking the time to train parents with a screencast video that you send out will also help them stay on top of their student’s progress.

What this means for your policies

It might be a bit of a philosophical shift to avoid these mistakes. After all, real change doesn’t happen instantly, especially if you want it to stick. During a time when we’re all trying to master work-life balance, it can seem preposterous to take on what seems like more work.

But what’s the cost – both to yourself and your students — if you DON’T do something different?

Left to their own devices, students will try to stay under your radar so that they don’t have to do any work, but we both know what the long-term consequences of that are. If they don’t turn in their homework or assignments in general, you can’t assess them, which means they can’t get feedback, which in turn means you have to hope that they’re gleaning SOMETHING from your lectures and class discussions. How will you know if they’re improving in your class if they won’t submit their work?

And you’ll continue to be frustrated about your low homework submission rate (if you weren’t frustrated, you wouldn’t have made it this far). Over time, that can leave a bad taste in your mouth and overall disdain for students that seem “lazy and useless.” Morphing into that kind of cynical teacher is not something anyone wants, so ask yourself — is it worth putting in the effort?

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Homework Struggles May Not Be a Behavior Problem

Exploring some options to understand and help..

Posted August 2, 2022 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

• What Is Anxiety?
• Take our Generalized Anxiety Disorder Test
• Find a therapist to overcome anxiety
• Mental health challenges and neurodevelopmental differences directly affect children's ability to do homework.
• Understanding what difficulties are getting in the way—beyond the usual explanation of a behavior problem—is key.
• Sleep and mental health needs can take priority over homework completion.

Chelsea was in 10th grade the first time I told her directly to stop doing her homework and get some sleep. I had been working with her since she was in middle school, treating her anxiety disorder. She deeply feared disappointing anyone—especially her teachers—and spent hours trying to finish homework perfectly. The more tired and anxious she got, the harder it got for her to finish the assignments.

One night Chelsea called me in despair, feeling hopeless. She was exhausted and couldn’t think straight. She felt like a failure and that she was a burden to everyone because she couldn’t finish her homework.

She was shocked when I told her that my prescription for her was to go to sleep now—not to figure out how to finish her work. I told her to leave her homework incomplete and go to sleep. We briefly discussed how we would figure it out the next day, with her mom and her teachers. At that moment, it clicked for her that it was futile to keep working—because nothing was getting done.

This was an inflection point for her awareness of when she was emotionally over-cooked and when she needed to stop and take a break or get some sleep. We repeated versions of this phone call several times over the course of her high school and college years, but she got much better at being able to do this for herself most of the time.

When Mental Health Symptoms Interfere with Homework

Kids with mental health or neurodevelopmental challenges often struggle mightily with homework. Challenges can come up in every step of the homework process, including, but not limited to:

• Remembering and tracking assignments and materials
• Getting the mental energy/organization to start homework
• Filtering distractions enough to persist with assignments
• Understanding unspoken or implied parts of the homework
• Remembering to bring finished homework to class
• Being in class long enough to know the material
• Tolerating the fear of not knowing or failing
• Not giving up the assignment because of a panic attack
• Tolerating frustration—such as not understanding—without emotional dysregulation
• Being able to ask for help—from a peer or a teacher and not being afraid to reach out

This list is hardly comprehensive. ADHD , autism spectrum disorder, social anxiety , generalized anxiety, panic disorder, depression , dysregulation, and a range of other neurodevelopmental and mental health challenges cause numerous learning differences and symptoms that can specifically and frequently interfere with getting homework done.

The Usual Diagnosis for Homework Problems is "Not Trying Hard Enough"

Unfortunately, when kids frequently struggle to meet homework demands, teachers and parents typically default to one explanation of the problem: The child is making a choice not to do their homework. That is the default “diagnosis” in classrooms and living rooms. And once this framework is drawn, the student is often seen as not trying hard enough, disrespectful, manipulative, or just plain lazy.

The fundamental disconnect here is that the diagnosis of homework struggles as a behavioral choice is, in fact, only one explanation, while there are so many other diagnoses and differences that impair children's ability to consistently do their homework. If we are trying to create solutions based on only one understanding of the problem, the solutions will not work. More devastatingly, the wrong solutions can worsen the child’s mental health and their long-term engagement with school and learning.

To be clear, we aren’t talking about children who sometimes struggle with or skip homework—kids who can change and adapt their behaviors and patterns in response to the outcomes of that struggle. For this discussion, we are talking about children with mental health and/or neurodevelopmental symptoms and challenges that create chronic difficulties with meeting homework demands.

How Can You Help a Child Who Struggles with Homework?

How can you help your child who is struggling to meet homework demands because of their ADHD, depression, anxiety, OCD , school avoidance, or any other neurodevelopmental or mental health differences? Let’s break this down into two broad areas—things you can do at home, and things you can do in communication with the school.

Helping at Home

The following suggestions for managing school demands at home can feel counterintuitive to parents—because we usually focus on helping our kids to complete their tasks. But mental health needs jump the line ahead of task completion. And starting at home will be key to developing an idea of what needs to change at school.

• Set an end time in the evening after which no more homework will be attempted. Kids need time to decompress and they need sleep—and pushing homework too close to or past bedtime doesn’t serve their educational needs. Even if your child hasn’t been able to approach the homework at all, even if they have avoided and argued the whole evening, it is still important for everyone to have a predictable time to shut down the whole process.
• If there are arguments almost every night about homework, if your child isn’t starting homework or finishing it, reframe it from failure into information. It’s data to put into problem-solving. We need to consider other possible explanations besides “behavioral choice” when trying to understand the problem and create effective solutions. What problems are getting in the way of our child’s meeting homework demands that their peers are meeting most of the time?
• Try not to argue about homework. If you can check your own anxiety and frustration, it can be more productive to ally with your child and be curious with them. Kids usually can’t tell you a clear “why” but maybe they can tell you how they are feeling and what they are thinking. And if your child can’t talk about it or just keeps saying “I don't know,” try not to push. Come back another time. Rushing, forcing, yelling, and threatening will predictably not help kids do homework.

Helping at School

The second area to explore when your neurodiverse child struggles frequently with homework is building communication and connections with school and teachers. Some places to focus on include the following.

• Label your child’s diagnoses and break down specific symptoms for the teachers and school team. Nonjudgmental, but specific language is essential for teachers to understand your child’s struggles. Breaking their challenges down into the problems specific to homework can help with building solutions. As your child gets older, help them identify their difficulties and communicate them to teachers.
• Let teachers and the school team know that your child’s mental health needs—including sleep—take priority over finishing homework. If your child is always struggling to complete homework and get enough sleep, or if completing homework is leading to emotional meltdowns every night, adjusting their homework demands will be more successful than continuing to push them into sleep deprivation or meltdowns.
• Request a child study team evaluation to determine if your child qualifies for services under special education law such as an IEP, or accommodations through section 504—and be sure that homework adjustments are included in any plan. Or if such a plan is already in place, be clear that modification of homework expectations needs to be part of it.

The Long-Term Story

I still work with Chelsea and she recently mentioned how those conversations so many years ago are still part of how she approaches work tasks or other demands that are spiking her anxiety when she finds herself in a vortex of distress. She stops what she is doing and prioritizes reducing her anxiety—whether it’s a break during her day or an ending to the task for the evening. She sees that this is crucial to managing her anxiety in her life and still succeeding at what she is doing.

Task completion at all costs is not a solution for kids with emotional needs. Her story (and the story of many of my patients) make this crystal clear.

Candida Fink, M.D. , is board certified in child/adolescent and general psychiatry. She practices in New York and has co-authored two books— The Ups and Downs of Raising a Bipolar Child and Bipolar Disorder for Dummies.

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When Kids Don’t Return Homework – What can we do?

An article by  Richard James Rogers  ( Author of  The  Quick Guide to Classroom Management ).

Illustrated by my new illustrator! : Tikumporn Boonchuayluea

NEW: Second Edition of ‘ The Quick Guide to Classroom Management’ available on Amazon now! Purchase the book here.  

The organizing of homework can be a real nightmare, especially for inexperienced teachers.

I was no exception.

I thought I knew it all when I got my first teaching job in North Wales, at 23-years-old. However, I soon found it a real challenge to….

• Set homework regularly
• Remember to collect homework in
• Mark homework promptly
• Return it to the the kids and………..
• …… the real killer – dealing with kids who didn’t hand-in their homework on time

I used to be one of those teachers who would deal with each of the above five challenges separately: not realizing that they are, in fact, very intimately connected – the way we set homework, for example, affects the frequency at which it is handed-in.

Using this holistic approach to the management of homework I’ve discovered a few simple techniques to get our students compliant with regards to handing it in. I’ve also discovered some ways to make up for any gaps in knowledge that arise when work hasn’t been done on-time.

So buckle up, grab a coffee and make some notes (that’s your homework for this week, by the way)!

Having too-strict an approach can cause major problems for you and your students. Whilst I’ve never, ever heard the classic ‘the dog ate my homework’ , kids can and do:

• Leave their homework at home by accident
• Write the homework on paper and lose the paper
• Submit it electronically but lose the work/forget to save it

Our kids are learning basic organizational skills, and we must understand that. Don’t be too strict. Allow another day to hand it in. However, if homework lateness becomes persistent then……..

Homework busting tip #2 – give a detention

It’s not nice for the teacher or the student (you lose your free time and so does the kid), but it’s definitely worth it. We simply can’t allow our students to fall behind.

I wrote some months ago about the effective use of detentions . I mentioned that detentions must always have a distinct purpose. In the case of a ‘homework detention’, the purpose isn’t to punish the kid – the detention time should be used for the student to complete the missing homework.

When detentions for homework lateness are used to complete the homework, there’s a sense of fairness in it all – you’re doing this because you care about the student and you want him/her to understand the concepts being covered in the homework.

When this approach is consistently applied, you’ll soon find that kids will hand-in their homework. They don’t want to sit in a detention just as much as you don’t want to supervise it.

Homework busting tip #3 – use recurring homework tasks

Set homework on the same day/days each week. Collect it in on the same day/days each week. It really is that simple.

This builds a routine into your schedule and your kids’ schedules, making it less likely that they will forget about their homework.

When I first started teaching I would get my KS3 students (11-14 years old) to actually write, on the first page of their notebooks, their homework schedule:

“I will receive homework every Monday. I will hand-in my homework every Thursday”

…..or whatever their schedule was.

You may also want to consider using a Learning Journals system with your kids (read more about tha t here ).

Homework busting tip #4 – share the news with key colleagues

Have you got some kids who consistently don’t hand homework in on-time? Share that info with the kids tutor/homeroom teacher. He/she can contact parents and reinforce your message – that homework must be completed on-time.

Homework busting tip #5 – contact parents

For consistent offenders it may be necessary to call parents as ask them to come into school for a chat. However, the conversation you have must be dealt with very delicately.

The aim of such a parent-meeting should be to find solutions to the problem of incomplete homework. You may want to discuss:

• The difficulty of the homework being set
• The student’s schedule and ways in which time can be set aside for homework completion
• Things that you can do to support the student

With a relentless and consistent approach you’ll soon find that even the ‘toughest nuts’ can be cracked.

Homework busting tip #6 – offer support and help

Some students are simply too shy to ask their teachers for help. We must combat this.

When you set a piece of homework, make it clear to the students that they can see you for help between now and the deadline. Tell them that it is your pleasure to help them: that you’re happy to help them when they get stuck.

Crucially, tell your students exactly when you’re available to help. You may be busy on Tuesday lunchtime, but after-school on a Wednesday you’ll be in your room doing marking so your students can see you then.

When we encourage our students to seek help from us we are showing them that we care, and that we are approachable. It also solves the classic excuse you’ll get – “I couldn’t do my homework because I didn’t understand the questions”. Really? If you didn’t understand the homework, then why didn’t you come to see me for help like I told you to?

Further reading

I’ve written a number of blog posts that deal with the subject of homework. You may find them useful:

Tips for Organizing Homework

Should We Set Homework for the Summer Vacation?

Homework: A Headache we can all Easily Cure

We welcome you to join the Richard Rogers online community. Like our   Facebook   page and follow us on   Twitter   for daily updates.

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Author: richardjamesrogers

High School Science and Mathematics Teacher, Author and Blogger. Graduated from Bangor University with a BSc (Hons) degree in Molecular Biology and a PGCE in Secondary Science Education. Richard also holds the coveted Certificate in Mathematics from the Open University (UK). Richard is the award-winning author of The Quick Guide to Classroom Management: 45 Secrets That All High School Teachers Need to Know View All Posts

One thought on “ When Kids Don’t Return Homework – What can we do? ”

Homework issues become even more complex in high school. All of your suggestions have the possibility of success. The crucial element is: do students care? Many start developing apathy and they truly don’t care about school or turning in their assignments. That one isn’t an excuse—it’s a choice.

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Relating: alternatives to academic punishments for missing homework.

• "Alternatives to Penalizing Students for Not Doing Homework" (Originally titled The Problem with Penalties) in an article by a Canadian educator, the ugly truth about homework academic punishments was candidly revealed! Penalties that are administered with little regard to each students individual needs are antiquated and unprofessional, says Canadian educator Myron Dueck in this Educational Leadership article. Whether at home or school, influencing change in human behavior seems to hinge upon four simple rules, which I call the CARE guidelines.

• Here are the author's CARE rules: - C are The penalty must evoke some degree of concern in the learner.

- A im The penalty must align with the ultimate objective.

- R eduction of an undesirable behavior The penalty needs to be effective

• -E mpowerment The young person must have control over the conditions that led to the infraction and be able to understand the situation.

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Sign up for our free weekly newsletter and receive top education news, lesson ideas, teaching tips and more! No thanks, I don't need to stay current on what works in education! COPYRIGHT 1996-2016 BY EDUCATION WORLD, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. COPYRIGHT 1996 - 2024 BY EDUCATION WORLD, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. SchoolNotes.com The Educator's Network Our Mission Aiming for Discipline Instead of Punishment Brain-aligned discipline isn’t compliance-driven or punitive—it’s about supporting students in creating sustainable changes in behavior. There are many perspectives on the topic of discipline in our classrooms and schools, and I’d like to explore the idea of using brain-aligned discipline with students who have adverse childhood experiences (ACEs).  Traditional punishment with these students only escalates power struggles and conflict cycles, breeding an increased stress response in the brain and body. Punishment is used to try to force compliance. The vast majority of school discipline procedures are forms of punishment that work best with the students who need them the least. With our most difficult students, the current way schools try to discipline students does not change their behavior, and often it escalates the problems. Discipline, unlike punishment, is proactive and begins before there are problems. It means seeing conflict as an opportunity to problem solve. Discipline provides guidance, focuses on prevention, enhances communication, models respect, and embraces natural consequences. It teaches fairness, responsibility, life skills, and problem solving.  There are times when students need to be removed from the classroom and school for aggressive, volatile actions, but upon re-entry we should make a plan of action that begins to address these actions in these brain-aligned ways. The neurobiological changes caused by chronic negative experiences and a history of adversity can trigger a fear response in the brain. As Pam Leo says, “A hurtful child is a hurt-filled child. Trying to change her behavior with punishment is like trying to pull off only the top part of the weed. If we don’t get to the root, the hurtful behavior pops up elsewhere.” In children the fear response often looks aggressive, defiant, and oppositional. Young people with ACEs have brains that are in a constant state of alarm. In this alarm state, consequences don’t register properly. Discipline can only be done when both the educator and the student are calm and self-regulated. If they aren’t, behavioral difficulties will escalate.  In a brain-aligned model of discipline, we must teach the behaviors we want to see, laying the groundwork for prevention systems and strategies.  Preventive Brain-Aligned Strategies Preventive systems are taught as procedures and routines. They are collaborative and filled with choice. Their purpose is to create a sustainable behavioral change, not just compliance or obedience for a short period of time.  I teach students about their neuroanatomy, so they understand what happens in their brains when they become stressed, angry, or anxious. When we understand this, we feel relieved and empowered.  In morning meetings or whole class time, I discuss the prefrontal cortex, amygdala, and neuroplasticity with students. We identify and make lists of our emotional triggers and coping strategies, and I teach students to use their breath and movement to calm their stress response systems.  Is there an adult in the school who connects with this student and has a space where the student can go if they need to regroup and calm their stress response systems? Are you teaching these procedures ahead of a time when a student needs to regulate away from the class?  Could your school create a area for both teachers and students to go to when they need to reset their emotional state? This area could be stocked with paper, markers, crayons, water, soft music and lighting, a jump rope, a stationary bike, lavender scented cotton balls, jars for affirmations or worries, or a rocking chair. Students will need to be taught ahead of time how to use this area, which they should need for just two to five minutes in order to feel refocused and ready to return to class. Examples of Natural, Non-Punitive Consequences  Name-calling: Have the student create a book of positive affirmations for the class, or have them create a list of “kind words” and teach them to a younger class. Low-level physical aggression (pushing, kicking, hitting): Some consequences could include giving the student a new learning space in the room or a new spot in line, or they could be tasked with performing an act of kindness or service for the hurt person. If this occurs at recess, the student could be tasked with assisting a teacher on recess duty in monitoring the playground, noticing everything that is going well. They can roam around the playground, still getting the exercise they need. Or again they could perform an act of kindness toward the student who they hit. Inappropriate language: This calls for a discussion when both student and teacher are in a calm brain state. Sometimes words that are inappropriate at school are used at home, so we need to understand the cultural context and have a discussion with the student. An older student could research the words they used and report to you on why they’re not school words; younger students could try to write out what they were trying to convey using school-friendly language or drawings.  Incomplete assignments: Have a one-on-one discussion to convey what this behavior communicates to you. Ask if something has changed at home or school, or if the student doesn’t understand what is required. Make a plan with the student and possibly a parent for making up the work that has been missed. And consider assigning a student mentor to help the student. The research is clear. Our brains learn best in a state of relaxed alertness. Our discipline systems must begin to shift toward creating this state in all the members of our school community. Hong Kong TESOL ~ Part of the English For Asia Group Why you need to stop punishing your students: solutions for 3 common problems Ross thorburn. In many of the young learner classes I watch, teachers try to control their students’ behaviour using punishment. In this article, I’m going to tell you   why punishment causes more behaviour problems than it solves  which punishments are the most destructive  alternatives you can use to stop negative student behaviour  how to prevent negative behaviour from reoccurring in the future.  Register for our next Teaching skills or CertTESOL Taster Workshops here. Problems with punishment  I said at the start, I think you need to stop punishing your students. Here’s why.    It’s bad for learning  Students learn best in environments where they feel safe, accepted and appreciated . Relying on punishment to control behaviour does the opposite. Students who get punished feel their teachers don’t like them. These negative effects also apply to the ‘good students’. Punishing one student makes the rest of the class anxious, worrying, “Maybe I’ll be next”. The more anxious students are, the less they’ll learn.     It results in more negative behaviour  Lots of students misbehave because they want attention . Punishing students gives them the attention that they want. The more you punish your students the more likely it is you’ll see the same behaviour in the future.   It becomes less effective over time  The more you use a punishment, the less effective it becomes. Students who are disciplined time and time again eventually get acclimated. This leads to a vicious circle: teachers may resort to stronger forms of punishment to get the same results.     It damages motivation  Would you want to keep studying a subject where you get punished every class? I wouldn’t. I suspect a lot of the reasons why students drop English are because they’re tired of being told off.     It kills relationships  Relationships with students take years to build and seconds to destroy. Losing your temper, shouting at, or humiliating students destroys these delicate relationships. As well as demotivating students, you’ll lose respect and cooperation.     Its bad for you   Finally, do you want to be the kind of teacher who enjoys positive relationships with their students? Or do you want to be the kind of teacher who spends days arguing with students and making them feel bad?     Punishments to avoid  All punishments are destructive, but some are more destructive than others. These punishments are especially toxic.     Collective punishment  Collective punishment is when a group of students (often the whole class) is punished for the actions of one or two students. For example, if some students are too noisy, the whole class gets given extra homework.  Collective punishment is bad because it’s  not fair. If your students feel you don’t treat them fairly, they’ll lose respect for you.  can lead to bullying. No one will want to be friends with the student who got everyone punished.  makes students dislike school (or your class in particular).     Public punishments  Teachers regularly punish students for distracting their peers. Yet when teachers publicly punish a student, they usually distract the entire class! Public punishments stop the whole class from learning by focusing students’ attention on the punishment being given out instead of the topic of the class. Public punishments also humiliate the student being punished. If you need to punish a student, do it in private.  Sending students outside  Kicking a student out of the classroom and into the corridor is problematic for a few reasons.  First, it puts a student in control of a volatile situation (instead of the teacher). After being told to “Get out”, the student can refuse to leave. The teacher then has to make an uncomfortable choice: escalate the situation or back down. Backing down means the students will lose respect for you. Escalating the situation creates more distractions and loses sight of why you wanted to send the student outside in the first place.  A student being sent out of class is a dramatic event. Learning is about memory and we tend to remember emotional events best. If you want students to remember the content of your lessons, keep the lessons dramatic and the behaviour management boring (not the other way round).  Once a student is out of sight, you can’t see what they’re up to. One of my colleague’s students once fell off the third story of the school when they were outside of the classroom. The student you sent out could also disturb other classes or sneak out of the school. These are bigger headaches than the original problem.  In private language schools, parents will be upset if they paid for an English class, but their child just stood outside an English class. If they complain, you could get in trouble with your school management. Punishing a student by sending them outside might lead to your school punishing you.   Vague punishments   I remember in my first year at middle school being taken into the deputy head master’s office and told, “We know what you did. If you do it again, there will be serious consequences.” I asked what the problem was, but the teacher refused to tell me. I had no idea what I had done and so couldn’t change my behaviour afterwards.   Something similar happens in language classes when English language learners get told off in a foreign language: they don’t understand what they’ve done. If students don’t know why they’re being punished, they can’t change their behaviour. Not only is this ineffective, it also breeds resentment. I’m still annoyed about being unfairly told off in middle school!  For using L1  It’s frustrating when students lapse into their mother tongue (L1) in English class. However, punishing students for using their L1 penalizes students for expressing themselves. Instead of punishing students for using their L1, use this as a stepping-stone for teaching English. When students use L1 you can:  translate what they said into English. This acknowledges what your students said and gives personalized input. This works well with younger students.  ask the class “Does anyone knows how to say ____ in English?” This helps students figure out how to say what they want to say in English.   set clear expectations for when it’s okay to use mother tongue and when it’s not. You could put a two-sided flashcard on the board and turn this over to show “English” or “First language” depending on the activity or stage of the lesson.  ask students to put the things they say in L1 on slips of paper and put these in the ‘L1 bucket’. At the end of the lesson, ask students to pick out slips of paper from a bucket and translate these into English.    Solutions instead of punishment   Instead of punishing your students, search for solutions to the problems their behaviour causes. Aim to solve behaviour problems  quickly. Students come to school to learn, not to be disciplined.  respectfully. Avoid making students feel bad. Confident students learn better than humiliated ones.  subtly. Integrate your solutions into fun activities.  Let’s look at some typical student problems and how to solve these.     Problem #1: Chatting  Problem : Two students are talking to each other.  Reason : They aren’t engaged in the lesson.  Avoid : Threatening to punish the talking students or tell one of the students to move.   Possible solutions :    Pause the class to play ‘Seat Swap’. The teacher calls out the name of three students who must change seats. After several rounds, start the class again. The chatting students should no longer be sitting next to each other.  If the students are talking while you are giving instructions, ignore them and carry on. The students might already know what to do (or will figure this out from their peers).   Subtly remind the students to listen. Make eye contact with them, include their names in your teacher talk, or walk closer to them.  Ask the students to look at the class rules (which hopefully were co-created by them). After students read these, ask them what they’re not doing or could do better.   Problem #2: Restlessness  Problem : Students are restless. Some students are swinging on their seats and/or crawling on the floor.  Possible reasons : Students want to move.   They’ve been sitting in the same place for a long time  The activity has lasted longer than their attention span.   Some of the students want attention.  Avoid : Punishing the students who are moving. They can’t help feeling restless.  Possible solutions :   Play a game (a stirrer/settler) which gets students moving around the room.  Change the order of your lesson plan. Start an activity which involves movement.  Hold a quick behaviour competition. Ask the class “Who is sitting nicely?” Reward students who are sitting still in their seats.  If you think the students are moving because they want attention, wait until after the students stop fidgeting, then praise the student for sitting nicely.  Find a role for the restless student which involves movement. Perhaps they could model the activity with you (if you’re giving instructions), help you turn the page of your book (if you’re reading), or give points to student teams (if the class is playing a game).   Problem #3: Distracted  Problem : Students are distracted and not paying attention.  Reason : Something more interesting than your lesson has the students’ attention.  Avoid : Shouting to attract everyone’s attention. This models a behaviour (shouting) which you don’t want the students to copy.  Use a refocuser. For example, say, “Everyone look at ____ [name of a student]”. Name several students. Finally say “Everyone look at me.”  Move to the next stage of the lesson. A new activity might be more interesting than the distraction.  Make the distraction into a ‘teachable moment’. If students are distracted by something outside the classroom or something on the wall, talk to the students about it (or ask them questions about it).  Give the distracted students something more interesting to do. Let them control part of the activity or give them a role with more responsibility.   Stop it happening again  After a student consistently misbehaves, ask yourself, “What can I do to stop this happening next time?”   Find triggers  Look for reasons why students misbehave. What patterns are there? Does negative behaviour happen at specific times during your lessons? Which lesson stages are the most problematic? Do some students get overexcited during certain activities? Find out what it is that triggers negative behavior, then try to avoid these triggers in future.  Reframe emotions  Avoid lecturing children on how they should behave. If a child has behaved out of character, listen instead of speaking. Start by asking how they feel. You might say “This is unlike you. Are you okay?” Or “Has anything bad happened to you recently?” This can help you connect with the student and understand the emotions which led to the behavior . Once you understand the emotions, you can help the student reframe them. If a student swears at a classmate and says they were angry, ask, “What else could you do when you feel angry?” If you can’t speak the same first language as your students, ask a responsible adult in your school to translate for you.  Understanding relationships   Notice which students tend to misbehave when they’re near each other. Rearrange your class seating or regroup students to split these students up. You could do this playing Seat Swap, or regrouping students by getting students to mingle, then calling out a number. Students have to get into groups with this number of people. Students then work in these groups during class.  Putting it into practice  Changing your approach to students’ behaviour is easier said than done. Many of our actions in the classroom are instinctual: teachers teach in the same way they were taught. The next time you find yourself punishing a student, pause. Think about why some students are misbehaving. Ask yourself, how can you solve the problem without resorting to punishment? And after class plan how to encourage positive behaviour, instead of discouraging negative behaviour.  Ross Thorburn is a teacher trainer, materials writer and consultant based in Shanghai. Ross started his career in language teaching in 2006. He holds a Trinity DipTESOL, a Trinity FTCL TESOL, an IDLTM from the University of Queensland and a Master’s Degree in Language Education from NILE. Ross is also a keen researcher and has published research articles on teacher training, teacher motivation, task-based learning and young learners. In 2020, Ross published his first book, Inside Online Language Teaching. He also is the host of the TEFL Training Institute podcast . Need a confidence boost in the classroom? Find teaching skills workshops to help. https://hongkongtesol.com/workshops Trinity Certificate in TESOL Access top teaching positions in Hong Kong and overseas with the Trinity Certificate in TESOL. Accepted by the Hong Kong Education Bureau for Primary NET teaching positions. 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Emily Listmann is a Private Tutor and Life Coach in Santa Cruz, California. In 2018, she founded Mindful & Well, a natural healing and wellness coaching service. She has worked as a Social Studies Teacher, Curriculum Coordinator, and an SAT Prep Teacher. She received her MA in Education from the Stanford Graduate School of Education in 2014. Emily also received her Wellness Coach Certificate from Cornell University and completed the Mindfulness Training by Mindful Schools. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 122,869 times. If you're a responsible and hardworking student, then it's likely your peers have asked for your homework answers. You may be tempted to break the rules and share your answers because of social pressure, but this hurts both you and the person who copies you. Protecting your answers from would-be cheaters is the right thing to do, and actually helps them become better students in the long run. You can prepare to resist peer pressure and avoid cheating by learning ways that you can say "no" to other students, as well as how to manage their expectations of you. Finally, consider starting a study group that allows you and your peers to learn together. It'll all be more productive for you and your friends. You may accidentally encourage your classmate to apply more pressure if you soften your “no” in an attempt to be friendly. Avoid using statements like “I don’t know” or “this may be a bad idea.” Instead, trust the clarity and power of a direct “no.” Do not provide a complicated answer, just say no. A complicated explanation that emphasizes unusual circumstances may seem friendlier or more helpful, but it can provide an opportunity for your classmate to challenge your refusal and to ask again. You can say “I know this is important, but my answer is not going to change,” or “I know that you are worried about grades, but I never share my answers.” If you feel yourself weakening, remind yourself of the consequences you could face if you're caught sharing answers. Your teacher could deny you credit for the work you've done since by sharing your work you've engaged in cheating. Remember that the long term repercussions outweigh the immediate pressure. A school year can seem like a very long time, and you may worry about awkward situations if you disappoint a classmate. If you say no to a classmate, you may feel uncomfortable for a few days or weeks. If you are caught cheating, the consequences can last for years. Point out to the student that the consequences remain even if you don't get caught. Copying homework answers doesn't help you learn the information, so the student who copies you won't be prepared for bigger assignments, such as the upcoming test. Even if they don't get caught now, they may not pass the course if they fail the test. Pay careful attention to your school’s rules regarding plagiarism. Plagiarism can seriously damage your academic record. Since what counts as plagiarism may not always be instinctive, speak with your teacher to clarify confusions that you may have. Your teacher will appreciate the opportunity address these questions before potentially plagiarized work is submitted. Remember, if the other student doesn't do the homework, then they aren't learning the course material. Most likely, they will fail the big assignments, such as tests. Keep in mind that sharing answers would make you guilty of cheating, as well. You could jeopardize your future if you decide to share your answers. Managing Your Classmates’ Expectations When discussing your progress, highlight the effort you're putting into the class, but acknowledge that you won't know how well you know the subject until after your work is graded. Say, "I'm taking good notes and reading the material, but I won't know if my answers are right until I get my paper graded." Keep your homework concealed until the moment it is due. Discourage your classmates from asking for your homework answers by not publicizing it. If someone asks you for answers to homework that isn't due for quite a while, you can always lie that you haven't finished it yet. Anticipate cheating around test times. Due to the high value placed on providing specific answers for assigning grades, stress can increase before major tests. This may make cheating seem more attractive. Before a test or major assignment, encourage a student that may ask you for answers or offer to study with them. This may reinforce proper study habits and discourage cheating. Creating a Study Group Ask your classmate about their study habits. You may be able to explain how they can do homework more effectively. Pay special attention not to emphasize the depth of your understanding. Your goal is to work with the student, not to give them answers. Make sure that they are actively involved. Community Q&A Ask the teacher for advice in confidence. Most high school and college teachers understand the complex nature of social structures in their classrooms. If you are dissatisfied, consult another teacher in the department, your adviser or your dean (principal). Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 2 Offer to help struggling classmates. You will learn as much as you teach, and you will lessen the need for and appeal of cheating. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 4 Being an accomplice to cheating is usually punished as harshly as cheating. If you feel that your study group may be close to being a cheating ring, immediately seek consultation from a trusted adult. Thanks Helpful 16 Not Helpful 1 Be sure that the teacher knows about your study group. Otherwise, when a few students miss the same questions on an assignment, the teacher will assume cheating has taken place. Thanks Helpful 5 Not Helpful 1 You Might Also Like ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/learning-to-say-no ↑ https://www.educationworld.com/a_admin/admin/admin375.shtml ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201401/praise-manipulation-6-reasons-question-compliments ↑ http://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ720382 ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/education/2009/jun/09/how-to-be-a-student-study-group About This Article Send fan mail to authors Reader Success Stories Daniel Brown Jul 17, 2022 Did this article help you? Featured Articles Trending Articles Watch Articles Terms of Use Privacy Policy Do Not Sell or Share My Info Not Selling Info wikiHow Tech Help Pro: Develop the tech skills you need for work and life You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly. You should upgrade or use an alternative browser . How do you "punish"/give consequences for not doing work? Discussion in ' General Education ' started by Jerseygirlteach , Feb 13, 2015 . Jerseygirlteach Groupie Feb 13, 2015 I have some kids who lack maturity and when they get frustrated or annoyed at something, they put their heads down and don't work. I have others that just choose, at times, not to work. What do you do when calling home and/or sending the work home does nothing and keeping them in for recess to do it is apparently a treat?   Advertisement AnonyMS 7th grade ELA SDI in Texas "Punishment" and "Discipline" are two different things. I prefer discipline, natural, and logical consequences. Remember that just b/c the kid isn't 'hurting' (not crying, doesn't seem affected), doesn't mean it isn't working. What do they do when they stay in for recess? I would have them do their work at that time. Another tactic is to reward those who ARE doing the right thing... special treat (sticker, extra SSR time, whatever).   Koriemo Comrade With my high schoolers, I mainly use positive reinforcement. I reward good behavior and I reward the whole class if everyone does the right thing. They get to pick their own seats if there are no missing assignments, small things like that.   AnonyMS said: ↑ What do they do when they stay in for recess? I would have them do their work at that time. Another tactic is to reward those who ARE doing the right thing... special treat (sticker, extra SSR time, whatever). Click to expand... readingrules12 Aficionado It depends. Usually, I will have them miss out on a fun learning game in the classroom. I let them know they have to get ___ work done and done well, if they wish to play in the game. This works as they hate watching their classmates play a fun math game or other activity while they have to sit at their desk and not participate. For students who really, really won't do anything (it has been a few years since this has happened..but, I can remember students like this), I do the following. "I see you won't do your work. I am not going to let the ____ assignment go to waste. I am going to do it and you can stand here and watch me have all the fun." Then, I put on a great acting job and really act like I am having a fun time doing the assignment. This has always worked. Within 5 to 10 minutes, they are begging me to be able to do the assignment. Problem solved.   Linguist92021 Phenom With my high schoolers I do different things depending on the student or the situation. Some of them just need some encouragement, for example one student was clearly frustrated about something (he also told me), he was sad, irritated and his mind was somewhere else. I encouraged him to do the work several times, reminded him that's it wasn't even a lot, just get it done so his grade won't go down. He ended up doing most of it. A couple never do any or do very little and some time to time just want to put their head down and don't do any work. I remind / encourage everyone at least once, (often just saying it to the class, not calling out anyone, and not even walking around dealing with each and every one of them), but usually I also tell them that this assignment is due today, and if they're sitting here, having the opportunity to do it and chose not to, there's no chance of making it up later. Usually if their grades goes down too low, they get a wake up call, if they let it go that far. I also tell them that it's their choice to not work, but they cannot be disruptive, just because now they have nothing to do. I also have one on one conversations with some of them after a while. I don't do any positive reinforcement for this, doing their work is simply something that's expected of them, and I won't reward them for that, because then I'll be expected to reward students for every little thing.   Peregrin5 Maven As the teacher next door to me puts it, "every student has a constitutional right to fail if they really put their mind to it". You can try a million things with certain students and they will just not want to do anything. It's best not to beat yourself up over it. I personally don't believe in additional consequences or punishment over not doing classwork/homework. I believe them failing is consequence enough. I save consequences for behavior issues. I will do my best to contact parents and let them know if they are failing well ahead of time, or if I am concerned about their lack of work ethic, but sometimes their parents don't care, the student doesn't care, and I'm the only one left caring. So I will give words of encouragement, try to make class fun and a place they want to be a part of, but that's all I can really do, with 180 other students to take care of. I also try my best to build special relationships with students who work hard to achieve what they do, so those who are currently not working hard and want a special relationship with me will work at doing better.   miss-m Groupie For the frustrated/annoyed kids... it may not be something that needs punished or disciplined so much as a learning moment. I was one of those kids that didn't really work in class and got frustrated easily when something was really difficult for me (still do that sometimes lol) and if I'd been punished because I wasn't working it wouldn't have made any difference. Do you know what is causing these students to get frustrated or annoyed? Is it work related frustration (i.e., something doesn't completely make sense, they think the work is too difficult, etc.) or unrelated to what they're doing? As for just flat out not working... do they get homework done or are they literally getting NOTHING completed? Could they do homework at recess maybe somewhere so it's not a reward? Maybe not with you? Not to make another teacher a "punishment" but just take away the part they enjoy that makes it seem less desirable. Student teaching last year some of the other teachers had kids do their homework on the wall outside (which is actually sneaky, because then they have to watch the other kids play while they sit and work...) And as previously mentioned... sometimes no matter what, some kids just won't do work when you want them to (I was definitely that child... I used all my work time in class to doodle and daydream) which is frustrating, but eventually they will feel the consequences of their wasted time.   Sarge Enthusiast Food when they finish an assignment. That's really the only universal reward I've found works with just about every kid. One day I brought in a big box of goldfish crackers and whenever a kid finished a paper they got a small dixie cup of crackers. Kids who seldom completed anything started working their tails off. Worked great until I ran out of crackers.   TXTeacherW Rookie Feb 14, 2015 If you ask for a Dojo point, you might lose a Dojo point. Guess I'm mean sometimes, but I find I have to squash some types of questioning. I tell them not to ask for privileges, because it makes me want to say no. Privileges are earned, not given. Going back to to original question, though, I'm all for natural consequences to an extent. I give choices, "You can choose not to do this now, but you'll have to do it during recess." We have workroom at recess. Or maybe they miss a fun activity associated with the work they weren't doing. "It's okay for now that you aren't doing this work, but you'll have to sit in the hallway and sulk while the rest of us work hard. And you will have to complete this during Study Hall."   Mamacita Aficionado I guess I don't understand, or maybe it's because I have only taught older students, but if discipline is consistent, punishment is rarely necessary. Make sure students who do what they're supposed to do receive privileges, benefits, and tangible rewards which are distributed/awarded in front of everyone, ignore those who don't do what they're supposed to do, and in a surprisingly short time, more and more students will be doing what they're supposed to do. The diehard do-nothings punish themselves for their lack of discipline. No reward for you? Not my problem. Just please be sure a child is not lethargic because of hunger.   TamaraF Companion I teach high school. The consequences are pretty clear...if you don't do the work, you don't get the mark. You don't get the marks, you don't pass the class. Guess what? I'll still be here, next term! I do call home, talk to my admin team, and talk to each student, but by the time they reach grade 10, I believe it's time to learn a life lesson. I tell them, if I don't do my job, I don't get paid. Your job is to do the assignments. Your pay is the grades you earn. I do not allow sleeping in my classroom, or electronics. If a student chooses to sit and do nothing, I will talk to them about it. If they are disrupting others, they must leave. I do not bribe, beg or plead.   2ndTimeAround Phenom Feb 15, 2015 TamaraF said: ↑ I teach high school. The consequences are pretty clear...if you don't do the work, you don't get the mark. You don't get the marks, you don't pass the class. Guess what? I'll still be here, next term! I do call home, talk to my admin team, and talk to each student, but by the time they reach grade 10, I believe it's time to learn a life lesson. I tell them, if I don't do my job, I don't get paid. Your job is to do the assignments. Your pay is the grades you earn. I do not allow sleeping in my classroom, or electronics. If a student chooses to sit and do nothing, I will talk to them about it. If they are disrupting others, they must leave. I do not bribe, beg or plead. Click to expand... lucybelle Connoisseur dgpiaffeteach Aficionado We have homework intervention for an hour after school. If they don't want to do the work, they get a homework intervention. If they skip HWI, they get a Saturday school. Skip that and it doubles to two or an ISS. I've only seen it get that far once or twice. Kids hate HWI because they miss practice, hanging with friends, etc... Of course, the whole district has to be on board. What do the kids enjoy? Could you take something away? Or not let them participate in a fun activity until all work is done? I don't allow my students to earn any extra credit if they have missing work.   Rabbitt Connoisseur If reward or discipline os not working, there is a deeper problem. Document and meet with colleagues, parents, admin, anyone who will help sort out the problem. I use class dojo. I also reward with the smallest things...one skittle, a sticker on their cheek, a cotton ball, lunch in the room, a word search, etc. This week I had a little Valentine craft they could color and turn into a box. If it's one consistent child, could that child have a mentor to report to? Maybe report first thing in the morning for motivational talk and a document sheet. You would document throughout the day. The child reports with the sheet to mentor at the end of the day. They discuss what went well and not so well. A 4th grade colleague uses simple, tiny connect the dot sheets. They are on the kiddos desks and only SHE can connect the dots. She will for behavior, names on papers, homework, etc. When it's filled, the kids color it and display it. That is reward in it's self. Yes, 4th grade!   Proud2BATeacher Phenom I tell my students that I can't make them do their work but I can make them not have any fun... Students who have "finish-first" assignments are not invited to any extra free time activities, they may have to put in 10-15 minutes of work before going to PE (the PE teacher is okay with this), they may miss recess in the morning (I try not to take away all of their afternoon recess), etc. Sometimes I pass out hardworking treats (right now the favorite treat is roasted chick peas). Depending on the student, I may photocopy it and send it home for homework. My   otterpop Phenom Feb 22, 2015 sheetalmehak said: ↑ Children learn more from natural consequences than they do lectures or threats. If he/she refuses to do homework, let them suffer the consequence of receiving a bad grade, which might result in attending study sessions and causing them to miss sports or time with their friends. Click to expand... waterfall Virtuoso For groups where I have students like this, I build a fun activity into the end of every group. It's always related to the content so it's not a total waste of instructional time, but it's still a game. For example, if I taught a new phonics pattern that day I'll let them play sparkle at the end with words using that pattern, or I'll let them play a relay game with math facts, etc. Students who are following the rules (including working) are allowed to play. Students who have chosen to goof around during the lesson then have to spend our game time completing their work. If a kid is truly working hard the entire time and is just slow, of course I still let them play. But if they're refusing or goofing around, they don't get to. I've found it to be really effective. My teammate does something similar with her older students (4-6th), but she lets them earn free minutes on their i pads if they're doing everything they're supposed to. We're not allowed to take away recess unless a kid is in the office for severe behavior (refusing to work doesn't count), so we had to come up with our own systems.   Feb 23, 2015 otterpop said: ↑ I do understand this point of view, and this is how I usually treat incomplete work that students just choose not to do. My worry about this, though, is that some of these students just don't care enough about poor grades to let it be a motivator. Their parents see the grades and give them a stern talk about needing to take school seriously, but there's no follow through, and they'll just slide through school with D's because they can. Most of my students really care about their grades, but those who don't need... something else, or just to be let continue as is until they get a wakeup call in 10 years? I don't know what the right answer is. In my ideal world, the parents of these kids would sit them down at a table and not let them go anywhere until the work's done. I have some students with parents who will do that, and incomplete work is a short lived problem for them. Click to expand... Reality Check Habitué F. And they and their parents don't care about that, either.   Share This Page Members online now. Division of Student Life No such thing as a silly question: answers to questions you might be afraid to ask. Whether you just arrived at Iowa or have found a familiar rhythm on campus, you probably have questions. And like many students, you might be too shy to ask or you might not know where to go for an answer. We’re here to help. Here is a list of questions — and answers — on topics you might want or need to know. 1. What should I do if I feel anxious or if I’m struggling mentally? How do I find help? First, know you are not alone, and there’s nothing embarrassing or shameful about reaching out for help. We know it can be intimidating, but finding the right resources is the first step to feeling better. The UI has various mental health services that you can access no matter what you are going through, including anxiety, depression, substance use, eating disorders, trauma, grief, identity development, and relationship concerns. If formal counseling isn’t for you, several student support groups offer space where you and others with shared experiences can talk. You can drop in to any of these groups at any time. The UI also offers several free workshops that focus on managing stress and anxiety. Check out the workshop options at Student Wellness and University Counseling Services, which cover topics such as mindfulness, sleep, motivations and procrastination, anxiety, and distress coping skills. These workshops help you build effective skills so you can better manage stress and anxiety. If you think counseling services would be helpful: Contact University Counseling Service at 319-335-7294 or email [email protected] . UCS has locations on the west side of campus (3223 Westlawn) and the east side (Suite 1950 in University Capitol Centre). Individual and group therapy are offered.   If you are unsure what services may be best for you, UCS staff can guide you in the right direction through an initial consultation . Please know you will be asked to fill out paperwork if you visit UCS for the first time or if it has been more than three months since you were last seen. More information on what paperwork may be needed will be provided during appointment scheduling.   In addition, you can receive 24-hour support through the UI Support and Crisis Line by calling or texting 844-461-5420 or chatting on this page online . You can use the line anonymously if you wish to do so.   You can also schedule a same-day, one-time appointment with a counselor if you would like to talk about an immediate issue or develop a plan to work on your well-being without ongoing therapy. 2. What do I do if I feel sick? We understand that you don’t want to miss anything or fall behind in classes, but we recommend that you do not try to go to class if you are sick. Contact your professor to let them know you are sick, see if there is any makeup work you might need to do, and ask a classmate to provide notes for you. If you think you may have an illness more severe than a common cold or you just want peace of mind, a visit to Student Health could help get you back on the mend sooner. Student Health is located at 4189 Westlawn and is open from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Thursday and 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. Friday. You can call 319-335-8394 to make an appointment or schedule one online. There is no cost to visit Student Health; a student health fee is included in the fees you pay each semester. You might be charged for other things related to your visit, such as lab work, medications, or medical supplies. Those charges will be submitted to your insurance, and, if you are a first-time patient or change health insurance, you can fill out this form so Student Health has that information. Charges not covered by insurance can be paid with cash or with your U-Bill.  If you are unsure if a visit to Student Health is best, you can contact the Student Health Nurseline at 319-335-9704. The Nurseline can help you decide if you need to make an appointment, how to take self-care measures, answer medication questions, and more. 3. I started Iowa with one major, but I’m having doubts if this is the right one for me. What should I do if I’m considering switching majors or colleges? Don’t worry! Many students switch their majors. The idea of what you thought you wanted to do might look much different now that you have started college, or you may not love your area of study as much as you thought you would. First, your academic advisor is a great resource. Set up a meeting with them to talk about what you’re not loving about current classes in your major, what classes you do enjoy, and your interests. Your advisor can also help you figure out the length of time it would take to complete your degree if you decide to switch. If you’re a first-year student, it’s likely your advisor is in the Academic Advising Center . But if your advisor is located within a college and you are thinking about a switch in majors that would also require a switch in colleges, your current advisor is still the best person to lead you in the right direction. You could also contact the Academic Advising Center to speak with an advisor about exploring other majors. If you want to start thinking about a new area of study, looking at the general catalog can give you more information. You can also access sample plans on MyUI that will outline what an eight-semester plan for a new major may look like. The Pomerantz Career Center also has resources for exploring majors and career options, including career assessment s. Iowa has more than 200 majors to choose from, so be assured you will find something that both excites you and helps you reach your career goals. 4. What should I do if I’m feeling overwhelmed with my courses or I’m failing a class? First, don’t panic. Many students feel overwhelmed with their class load from time to time. Speaking to your professor or teaching assistant is the first step. Your instructors will be able to give you a good picture of where you stand in a class and what you can do to get your desired grade. Professors and TAs hold office hours, and having one-on-one conversations with them can help you make a study plan or get a better grasp on the course material. Your academic advisor is also a good resource, especially if you would like to change your schedule. They can go over the pros and cons of dropping a class. If you are considering dropping a class, here is what that process will look like: Keep in mind that you need 12 credits a semester to keep your full-time student status. Dropping below 12 credits could affect financial aid and scholarships. If you are concerned that dropping a class would affect your financial aid, contact the Office of Student Financial Aid. You can drop a class on MyUI before the sixth day of the fall or spring semester, but it’s a good idea to speak with your academic advisor first. After the drop deadline has passed for a semester, you can still request to drop a course, but you will need your academic advisor’s approval. If you don’t want to drop a class but your grade is slipping, take advantage of tutoring resources . You can find academic help for specific courses, helpful tips in videos and worksheets, a private tutor or workshop, or a free supplemental instruction session. 5. Campus seems so big and I’m afraid of getting lost. How do I find my way around? Navigating campus can be overwhelming when you first arrive and everything is new. There are plenty of campus maps to choose from, and it’s a good idea to walk to any buildings you’re unfamiliar with to find where your class will be held. The UI campus is very walkable and bikeable, and those are main modes of transportation you will see students using. Students can also use Cambus for free around campus; here is a map of where bus routes will take you. The main routes are the red and blue routes, which travel the entire campus. A helpful way to remember the direction red and blue routes go is “Blue to Burge, Red to Rienow.” The red route goes in a clockwise direction, and the blue route goes counterclockwise. Cambus also operates an Interdorm route, which goes to the residence halls and the Pentacrest. The Transit app will show you real-time bus arrivals, departures, locations, and the closest bus stops. By subscribing to alerts on the app, you will be notified of service changes or severe weather impacts. While we understand why you might like your vehicle on campus, you don’t need to bring one to get around and we encourage you to use other transportation. If you do bring a car, you will have to pay for a permit. More details on how to do so are here .  6. I used to play sports in high school, but that’s changed since I started college. How can I stay active? Without sports and high school gym classes, it can be an adjustment to incorporate staying active into your college routine. Luckily, Iowa has many opportunities for you to get exercise (not to mention you’ll get your steps in walking around campus to your classes). Campus Recreation and Wellness Center: This is perhaps the most well-known recreation facility, located on the east side of campus. Not only does it include all the gym equipment and weights you might want, but it also has an indoor climbing wall, swimming pools, a jogging track, and basketball and volleyball courts. It also has the Wellness Suite, where staff provide fitness assessments, nutrition counseling, and more. Field House: Located on the west side of campus, this space houses basketball, volleyball, and badminton courts; a cycling studio; an indoor track; and a weightlifting room. It also has a swimming pool. Fitness East: Fitness East is in Halsey Hall, and it can be accessed through the walkway between Halsey Hall and the IMU Parking Ramp. While this space is smaller than other facilities, it has all the gym equipment you need for your workout. Hawkeye Tennis and Recreation Complex: Located on Prairie Meadow Drive on the far west edge of campus, this space has indoor and outdoor tennis courts, pickleball courts, cardio equipment, and weights. All enrolled UI students can access any recreational services facility, but you must present your student ID to get in. The cost to use the facilities is included in your student fees. If you need something more structured, Iowa has many intramural sports teams you can join if you miss doing activities with a team or competing. 7. I’m away from all or most of the friends I grew up with. How can I make new friends and find a new community at Iowa? Making new friends is hard, no matter what age you are. If you’re a recent high school graduate, you may have grown up with the same people and friends for most of your life. While trying to make new friends can be intimidating, the new people you meet in college can be some of the most meaningful relationships of your life. Just remember: You are not the only one trying to make new friends. If you’re living in the residence halls, start by introducing yourself to people on your floor. You can also leave the door of your room open as a sign you’re welcome to visitors.  Attending campus events that pique your interest can help you connect with other like-minded people. In addition, joining a student organization — even if you stick with it for only a semester — can help you meet new people. If you don’t know where to start with finding the right student org for you, schedule a meeting with a Leadership and Engagement advisor to talk about your interests and get connected. You can also meet new people by getting  a job or volunteering on campus.   Again, know that many other people are also looking for new friendships. Asking someone to grab a cup of coffee after class or to meet you for a weekend lunch session will likely make their day as much as it will yours. 8. Being away from home for the first time is harder than I thought it would be. What can make this easier? No matter how far you may have traveled to become an Iowa student, it’s normal to feel bouts of homesickness, especially if it’s your first semester on campus. Here are some tips: While it may seem counterintuitive, try to limit your trips back home because they could prolong your feelings of homesickness. Staying on campus for longer stretches of time can help it become more familiar to you and will help Iowa feel more like a new home. Iowa also has so many ways to get involved. Be it a club, intramural sports, or a job, getting involved on campus can make you feel like you belong here (and you’ll make new friends). Having new, yet familiar experiences can also help you feel more at ease. For example, if you enjoyed spending Sunday mornings at your hometown’s local coffee shop, find a new place to get your caffeine fix. If you liked spending your mornings at the gym, head to one of our great recreational facilities. Time is the best way to work through this new transition, and know that you can talk to anyone on campus about how you’re feeling. Also, remember all your loved ones are just a call or text away. 9. This is my first time having to budget and be responsible for my own finances. What are some money tips relevant for me? Budgeting can be hard, even for people who have been doing it for years. This may be the first time you’ve really had to think about all your monthly expenses. Making a plan to manage your money will be less stressful in the long run because it will help you create some savings and will make unexpected expenses less scary — while also building good habits for the future. Many tools are available to help you create a budget, from just writing down a plan in a notebook to using an app. No matter what method you use, all budgets are made roughly the same way. First, figure out what time span you want to create a budget for. Weekly or monthly budgets are common, but you could also create one for an entire semester. Next, determine your income for that time frame. Then, add up your fixed expenses (U-Bill, car payments, cellphone, etc.) and variable expenses (groceries, gas, entertainment, etc.). Once you subtract expenses from your income, you can determine if there are any areas where you’d like to save or how much money you have left over to save. If you’re not sure what your expenses are for a certain time span, make a note of the money you spend during that time frame and see if your habits are on par with your goals. Also, make sure you’re being responsible with any credit cards you may have. Even though you don’t have to worry about charges put on the card immediately, you don’t want any surprises when the bill arrives. Building credit is a good practice to start, but making note of charges to credit cards is equally important. Lots of financial wellness resources can be found here . If you’re struggling with budgets or have other financial questions, meet with a financial aid advisor by scheduling an appointment on MyUI or email [email protected] .  10. How do I balance academics, social life, and my other commitments? Once you step onto campus, it’s probably tempting to jump headfirst into everything that piques your interest, but piling too much on your plate can lead you to feel stressed out or overwhelmed. Academics, jobs, student organizations, having fun with friends — it’s important to have all these things in your life, and finding the right balance for yourself is key. Establishing a routine (that still leaves time for fun and spontaneous ice cream runs!) is a great way to feel balanced. After you get used to your class and homework schedule, figure out what you want to prioritize and determine if you’re using your time effectively. If you feel you’re lacking in one area, make it a bigger priority the next week. If you’re struggling academically, you can connect with Academic Support and Retention for more resources to help you succeed. Also, Student Care and Assistance can help provide a personalized assessment of how you spend your time and ways you can adjust your schedule to match your priorities. The Student Life Development Fund: provides support for the Vice President for Student Life to support all departments and units across the division. This fund is utilized to support many priorities and initiatives across the division. ‘They rape us before we can cross’: Women, girls fleeing violence in Mali Women and girls fleeing armed groups in Mali say they have suffered sexual assault by Malian soldiers at the border with Niger. Ayourou, Niger – It was just a few minutes before 7 o’clock on a Friday evening in early June when Kani* and 10 others fleeing violence in northeastern Mali arrived at a checkpoint in Labbezanga, close to the border with Niger. Six armed men, three of them wearing military fatigues, at the checkpoint stopped the men and women who had begun their journey from their village on foot the previous day. Keep reading ‘we are all on the front line’: dr congo’s young women rebels take on m23, mali’s spat with kyiv: is the russia-ukraine war spilling over into africa, russia accuses ukraine of opening ‘african front’ as niger cuts kyiv ties, in drc’s ituri, uncertainty for coffee farmers amid conflict, climate woes. “They [the gunmen] separated the men from the women,” Kani, 17, said. “Then three of them ordered all the four girls who made the journey to move into a small tent [the armed men had erected near the checkpoint]. “They took turns to rape us at gunpoint,” said Kani, who spoke to Al Jazeera from the home of a local legumes farmer in the Nigerien border town of Ayourou, a town on the border with Mali, where many Malian refugees have settled in recent years and where she has been living for the past several weeks since crossing into Niger. Dressed in a brown headscarf and colourful dress, the teenager seemed frightened and depressed, her head bowed, as she spoke. Since the ordeal, she said, she has become terrified whenever she sees a man with a gun. “Policemen and soldiers scare me because they remind me of the people who raped me.” The rape victims were all young girls who said they begged their attackers not to harm them because they were exhausted and hungry following the long journey they had made without food and enough water. “Everything we said fell on deaf ears,” Coumba*, another 17-year-old girl who was also raped, told Al Jazeera. “At some point, they started to beat us up with their guns and whips just to make sure we stopped talking.” Coumba, who was dressed in a black headscarf and a gown with blue, brown and white colours, was sombre throughout her interview with Al Jazeera. The thought of the rape incident terrifies her, she said. “Each time I remember what happened to me at the border, I become very afraid,” the teenager said. Like Kani, she has been living at the home of the legume farmer in Ayourou since arriving in Niger. The pair had fled together from Ouattagouna in eastern Mali following a series of attacks on the town by armed groups from the so-called Islamic State in the Greater Sahara (ISGS). Fleeing the violence, more than 10,000 Malians have taken refuge in Ayourou, an old town which stands on an eponymous island in the river Niger. Some live in tents built for refugees on dry and dusty land just outside the town, while others have found refuge with local families inside the town, where locals mostly do farming and sell foodstuffs and livestock in the market. When Kani and Coumba first arrived in Ayourou, they spent a few days in the refugee settlement before going into the heart of town in search of work and meeting the legume farmer who offered them work on his farm and was happy to accommodate them. But, despite settling in quickly in their new home, they now believe making the journey to Niger was a mistake. “We didn’t know we were going to face another hell trying to leave Mali,” said Coumba. “If we knew anyone would attempt to rape us, we would have left Ouattagouna for another community in Mali.” While the armed men, some of whom Kani and Coumba suspect were Malian soldiers because of the military camouflage shirts they were wearing, sexually abused the girls, the men they were travelling with were ordered to lie on their stomachs with their foreheads touching the ground. “We could hear the women screaming and begging the [armed men] to let them go,” said 40-year-old Seydou Camara, one of the men who made the journey from Ouattagouna and now lives in the refugee settlement in Ayourou. “We couldn’t do anything because the men were armed and were going to shoot us if we dared try to rescue the women.” The victims estimate that the abuse lasted for about an hour. Each of the three armed men that escorted the girls to the tent, they said, raped all four of them. “They told us that the only way we could cross into Niger was if we had sex with them and that we could not say no to them,” said Coumba. “They only let everyone go after they had raped the girls and seized money from the men who had cash in their pockets.” Al Jazeera contacted the Malian government about the allegations against Malian soldiers on July 17, and then again on July 22, but received no response. ‘They raped almost every woman there’ It was the second time both Kani and Coumba, who lived in the same compound in Ouattagouna, had suffered sexual violence in their own country. In March 2023, around the time that Human Rights Watch reported armed groups based in the north of Mali were carrying out widespread killings, rapes and lootings in villages in the northeast of the country, fighters stormed the street where the girls lived, burned down some houses, seized a number of men and sexually abused women, including the two teenagers. “They [the fighters] came into our compound very late at night and raped almost every woman there,” Kani, whose father and only brother were abducted by the fighters that night and hasn’t heard from them since, said. “About 10 of us were raped at gunpoint by five men.” Attacks on communities are common in Mali, a restive West African nation that has suffered years of instability. The country descended into conflict in 2012 when local Tuareg separatists supported by fighters rebelled in the north. A year later, former coloniser France intervened, sending a 1,700-strong force to assist Malian forces in crushing them, but the fighters have since regrouped and spread to some other parts of the Sahel region, especially to Burkina Faso and Niger, launching attacks on the Malian military and United Nations peacekeepers and ensuring that parts of the region remain insecure and ungovernable .  In 2020, then-President Ibrahim Boubacar Keita was forced out of office in a coup led by Assimi Goita, an army colonel who later took full control of the government when he was sworn in as military president in June 2021. Growing acrimony between Western powers, who voiced disapproval of the coup, and the military leaders pushed France out of the country. The Malian military government, in a bid to defeat separatist rebels and fighters in the north developed ties with Russia’s military and its Wagner Group of mercenaries, but the alliance has struggled to put an end to rebel activities which appear to have escalated, especially since the country ordered the UN peacekeeping mission known as the Multidimensional Integrated Stabilization Mission in Mali (MINUSMA) and its 15,000 international soldiers to depart last year. “Since UN peacekeepers left last year, Islamist militants have been attacking communities in the northeast on a regular basis,” Adama Traore, a 45-year-old farmer who fled from Ouattagouna to Ayourou last August, told Al Jazeera. In May, fighters returned to the compound where Kani and Coumba lived, burned the houses there and abducted some men. The two girls were among a number of people who escaped unhurt. They spent days living in a deserted building just outside Ouattagouna before they began their journey towards Niger. “We left our homes with only the clothes we were wearing, as we had no time to pick up any of our belongings,” said Coumba, who left her parents and two siblings behind and has no idea whether they are still alive. “If we hadn’t run away, we may have been killed.” The journey to Niger was a long and difficult one for Kani and Coumba. After the armed men who raped them at the border let them continue their trek to their destination, they arrived in Ayourou feeling exhausted and sick but managed to find a place to stay in a settlement for refugees. The teenage girls aren’t the only ones from Ouattagouna who have reported being raped by armed men, suspected to be soldiers, while trying to cross into Niger from Mali. A week after Kani and Coumba arrived in Ayourou, Heita*, a 45-year-old woman, who previously sold foodstuffs in a market in Ouattagouna, said she and two other women were raped at gunpoint by men in military uniform at the same checkpoint near the border with Niger while they were trying to flee Mali. Heita had left Ouattagouna to escape the frequent attacks by armed groups in the town. In one of these attacks more than two years ago, her husband and two sons were killed by fighters who raped her in the process. “It was already dark when we arrived at the checkpoint and the four men in military uniform we met there forced us into a small tent where they took turns to rape us,” Heita told Al Jazeera. “We initially refused to let them have their way but when they started hitting us with their weapons, we had no choice but to submit.” As was the case with Kani and Coumba, Heita and the other travelling women were only allowed to continue their journey to Niger after their rapists were done abusing them. “The experience was one of the worst in my life,” said Heita, who eventually arrived at Ayourou with the other victims a day after the incident took place. ‘Raped by Russians’ Reports of rape by rebels and other fighters in Mali have been mounting in number since the conflict began in 2012. But government-backed forces, including the Russian mercenaries drafted in to assist them, have greatly added to incidents of sexual violence especially in the last three years. Frequent raids by Malian soldiers and Russian paramilitaries have made local people more afraid and anxious. “If it isn’t militants attacking homes and killing people, it is white soldiers and the army torturing and sexually abusing villagers,” said Heita, who – like many locals in Mali – refers to Russian paramilitaries as “white soldiers”. “Living in Mali has become so dangerous.” “Malian and Russian soldiers who claim to be fighting these militants have been arresting and torturing villagers who they accuse of working for the terrorists,” Traore explained. Last year, UN experts said that, since 2021, they have received persistent and alarming accounts of human rights abuses that include rape and sexual violence perpetrated by Malian armed forces and Russian paramilitaries, adding that “victims of the so-called Wagner Group face many challenges in accessing justice and remedy for the human rights abuses, including sexual violence, and related crimes committed against them, particularly in light of the secrecy and opacity surrounding Wagner’s activities in Mali”. While Heita wasn’t sexually abused by Russian paramilitaries during her stay in Ouattagouna, she said some women she knew back home had told her they had previously been raped by the Russians in Ansongo, a town located about 77km (48 miles) north of Ouattagouna. “Two traders, who later moved to Ouattagouna, told me white soldiers raped them in their compound after arresting their husbands who they accused of working with militants,” said Heita. “The women were forced to leave Ansongo with their children because they feared for their safety.” Malian government officials and Wagner did not respond to Al Jazeera’s requests for comment. As the atrocities in Mali continue, those who have survived the abuse still live with the torture. “Whenever I see a man with a gun, I fear that he is going to rape me,” said Kani, who – like Coumba and Heita – hasn’t sought medical examination in Ayourou because of fear of stigmatisation. “I just can’t get over the abuses I faced in Mali.” *Names have been changed to protect anonymity. 139 COMMENTS How To Handle A Student Who Doesn't Do Homework? Many students don't do their homework because they lack motivation and self-discipline. In situations such as these, it's important to remember that you can't force a student to complete their work - but there are ways for you to motivate them. How To Handle Students Who Don't Do Any Work Learn the truth about why the most common strategies teacher use to help reluctant students don't work. And what to do instead. How to Punish a Teen Who Doesn't Care About Consequences Find out how to discipline a teenager who doesn't care about consequences. A parent's guide to teaching teens appropriate behavior. Consequences for Students Who Don't Do Homework There are many consequences for students who don't do homework so check out a guide on how to deal with this issue. My Child Refuses To Do Homework What to do when your child refuses to do homework. Here are steps on how to make it part of their daily routine and one of their responsibilities. Defiant Children Who Refuse To Do Homework: 30 Tips For Parents Defiant Children Who Refuse To Do Homework: 30 Tips For Parents How many times have you said something like, "My child can focus on TV, movies or video games for hours, but getting her to complete homework is like pulling teeth"? Creative Punishments for Youth Forgetting Homework Establish an incentive program to motivate your child to do his homework, the National Association of School Psychologists suggests. You might give him a point each time he turns his homework in on time. After he gets a certain number of points, he can exchange them for a prize. The punishment comes in when he doesn't do his homework. Dealing With Missing Homework A middle school teacher asks her colleagues how to handle students who don't do any work outside of school. How to Work With the No-Homework Kid Educator and humorist Holden Clemens shares some tips for working with the kid who doesn't do his homework. What To Do When a Student Refuses to Work When a student refuses work at first, sometimes all they need is a little wait time. It's okay to let them have their head down or keep their arms crossed. Give some time and wait to see if they come around within 5 minutes or so. Ignore the small behaviors. What to Do When Your Teen is Failing School and Doesn't Care If your teen is getting bad grades or failing, there are certain ways to help them do better in school and try harder. Why Teachers Give Up on Struggling Students Who Don't Do Their Homework By analyzing student report cards and interviewing teachers, students and parents, we found that teachers gave good grades for homework effort and other rewards to students from middle-class families like Gina, who happen to have college-educated parents who take an active role in helping their children complete their homework. Battles Over Homework: Advice For Parents I would like to offer some advice about one of the most frequent problems presented to me in over 30 years of clinical practice: battles over homework. I have half-jokingly told many parents that ... Students not turning in homework? 4 common mistakes to avoid If you're struggling to get students to submit work on a regular basis, there may be a problem in your systems that, once fixed, can increase not only the likelihood of your students submitting but also increase their academic success. Here are four common mistakes that teachers make about submitting homework, and what you can do instead. Homework Struggles May Not Be a Behavior Problem Does "back to school" trigger thoughts of homework hell? Re-thinking the problem and different solutions can make a big difference. When Kids Don't Return Homework We simply can't allow our students to fall behind. I wrote some months ago about the effective use of detentions. I mentioned that detentions must always have a distinct purpose. In the case of a 'homework detention', the purpose isn't to punish the kid - the detention time should be used for the student to complete the missing homework. Relating: Alternatives to Academic Punishments for Missing Homework Relating: Alternatives to Academic Punishments for Missing Homework "Alternatives to Penalizing Students for Not Doing Homework" (Originally titled The Problem with Penalties) in an article by a Canadian educator, the ugly truth about homework academic punishments was candidly revealed! Penalties that are administered with little regard to each students individual needs are antiquated and ... Aiming for Discipline Instead of Punishment Aiming for Discipline Instead of Punishment. Brain-aligned discipline isn't compliance-driven or punitive—it's about supporting students in creating sustainable changes in behavior. There are many perspectives on the topic of discipline in our classrooms and schools, and I'd like to explore the idea of using brain-aligned discipline ... Why you need to stop punishing your students: solutions for 3 common Public punishments stop the whole class from learning by focusing students' attention on the punishment being given out instead of the topic of the class. Public punishments also humiliate the student being punished. If you need to punish a student, do it in private. Sending students outside. How to Deal With Classmates Who Want Answers to Homework Point out to the student that the consequences remain even if you don't get caught. Copying homework answers doesn't help you learn the information, so the student who copies you won't be prepared for bigger assignments, such as the upcoming test. Even if they don't get caught now, they may not pass the course if they fail the test. How do you "punish"/give consequences for not doing work? If he/she refuses to do homework, let them suffer the consequence of receiving a bad grade, which might result in attending study sessions and causing them to miss sports or time with their friends. I do understand this point of view, and this is how I usually treat incomplete work that students just choose not to do. LPT: Don't punish your kids for not doing homework, reward them for LPT: Don't punish your kids for not doing homework, reward them for doing it and eventually they will see it positively as opposed to a dreaded chore. No such thing as a silly question: Answers to questions you might be Whether you just arrived at Iowa or have found a familiar rhythm on campus, you probably have questions. And like many students, you might be too shy to ask or you might not know where to go for an answer.We're here to help.Here is a list of questions — and answers — on topics you might want or need 'They rape us before we can cross': Women, girls fleeing violence in 'They rape us before we can cross': Women, girls fleeing violence in Mali. Women and girls fleeing armed groups in Mali say they have suffered sexual assault by Malian soldiers at the border ... How to prove your innocence after a false positive from Turnitin AI writing detectors like Turnitin and GPTZero suffer from false positives. Here's the advice of academics, AI scientists and students on how to deal with it. assignment essay homework paper phd report resume review speech thesis