sample argumentative essay on online dating

Advantages and Disadvantages of Online Dating Essay

Writing an essay about online dating? It will be helpful to read through some examples first. Below, you will find one such online dating advantages and disadvantages essay.

Introduction

Online dating refers to an activity through which individuals socialize and get to know each other on the internet (Elisar 1). In developed countries, online dating has become a normal activity. In the UK, it is estimated that online dating sites attract up to 10 million users every month.

The history of online dating can be traced back to the late 20 th century when the internet was invented. When the internet was first introduced to the public, people used to communicate via chat rooms. With time, spammers and criminals invaded the chat rooms and compromised their usability.

It was not long before dating websites emerged to protect those who wanted to socialize on the internet. Currently, dating sites have attracted millions of users becoming one of the most preferred means of interacting with people on the internet. Despite its popularity, there are risks associated with using these services. This paper focuses on the merits and demerits of online dating with respect to dating in a more traditional way.

Advantages of Online Dating

Unlike offline dating, online dating allows the user to interact with millions of people without having to travel. With offline dating, individuals have to travel across cities, regions, and sometimes countries. This is not only time consuming but also costly. It is estimated that using offline dating can cost an individual up to $100 in a single night. The cost is higher because it requires an individual to visit popular joints, bars, hotels, or nightclubs and have a snack or a drink.

Even so, there are no assurances that the time, attempts, and cash would yield a positive result. On the other hand, online dating will cost the user little or no money. Some sites charge little monthly fee whereas others charge no fee. The monthly fee charged by these websites are insignificant compared to the money spend on offline dating. Similarly, there are more risks associated with having to travel to meet strangers compared to meeting them online.

As suggested above, it is apparent that online dating increases the scope of search for those who are single. When singles join online dating sites, they get the opportunity to interact with millions of users. With offline dating, these people would not have interacted because they come from different offices, cities, regions, or countries. This implies that through online dating, singles can increase their scope of search.

Online dating increases the chances of individuals who might not otherwise get the chance to date offline. Individuals who are unable to attend social events or meetings regularly such as busy professionals, disabled, and single parents will find online dating sites useful unlike offline dating.

Similarly, individuals with small social circles such as tourists and recent divorcees will find online dating useful compared to offline dating. Other individuals who will find online dating useful are people who are shy, people who would like to know more about their friends before meeting them, and people who do not enjoy loud social situations associated with offline dating.

Another reason why online dating is preferred over offline dating is that it allows singles to meet other singles with equal interests with ease. Through offline dating, singles will have to date a number of other singles for them to meet like-minded partners. As such, those who have met their partners through offline dating attribute their success to fate. Through online dating, the success does not depend on fate because the service allows the users to filter their potential matches based on age, height, race, interests, and careers.

Equally, online dating unlike offline dating allows users to conceal their anonymity and have control over their relationships. In the society, there are individuals who are reluctant to let unfamiliar persons into their lives straight away.

Online dating will come in handy for such individuals because through it they can be able to control their relations without giving out too much information about themselves. Certainly, interacting online and finding strangers okay should not be considered as a guarantee that they are satisfactory. For this reason, the ability to control your privacy while interacting is appropriate.

Disadvantages of Online Dating

Despite its popularity, there are some disadvantages associated with online dating with respect to offline dating. Unlike when dating through conventional ways, it has been established that most of the people using online dating sites are liars. They lie about their attributes, jobs, properties, salary, and their marital status.

Notably, it has been identified that men lie about how tall they are, while women down play their height. Similarly, Toma and Hanrock did a study on the physical appearance of those using online dating (Knox 135). In their study, they noted that the lesser the attractiveness of individuals, the higher their chances of enhancing their profile pictures on online dating sites. With the use of offline dating, such lies could have been eliminated.

Similarly, with the use of online dating some people have been able to lie about their marital status. Research shows that 30% of those using online dating are married and often lie about their marital status (Knox 136). There are instances where married men have been able to maintain several simultaneous online relationships with other women.

These men managed to lie to several women and made wedding proposals to a number of them. Although the same situations can happen during offline dating, it should be noted that the extent of lies perpetuated through conventional dating is minimal and less severe compared to the lies perpetuated on the internet.

Another disadvantage associated with online dating is having unlimited number of options. On the internet, a soul searcher can find hundreds of options. The more the number of options, the less a user will be able to scrutinize each profile. Through offline dating, an individual’s option is limited.

This implies that he or she will have enough time to access the character of the potential partner. Equally, it has been found that many of those dating online have higher chances of breaking up compared to those dating through conventional ways. This can be attributed to the many options presented on online dating sites. Therefore, when hurdles arise in a relationship an individual will opt to dump his or her partner in favor of a better option.

Unlike through conventional dating ways, online dating increases the risk of meeting sex offenders and scammers. Because users can conceal their identities when using online dating, sex offenders find the sites attractive for their ill motives. These cyber criminals can overcome the security measures put by the owners of the website by using fake names.

Therefore, those using online dating sites should be weary of such individuals. They should not give out their home address, phone numbers, or other private details in a hurry. In general, there are a few risks of meeting sex offenders or scammers through conventional dating compared to online dating.

Another major concerned faced by those using cyber dates is security. Despite the fact that the owners of dating websites have put in place security measures, some cybercriminals can manage to crack them and steal information from their users. By obtaining the users’ email and passwords, cybercriminals can get access to the users’ messages. On the contrary, there is no security issue concerning personal information when an individual dates through conventional ways.

In conclusion, it should be noted that there are benefits and risks associated with online dating. Its advantages are online dating allows the user to interact with millions of people without having to travel, it increases the scope of search for those who are single, increases the chances of individuals who might not otherwise get the chance to date offline, and allows users to conceal their anonymity and have control over their relationships. Despite its popularity, there are some disadvantages associated with online dating with respect to offline dating.

Unlike when dating through conventional ways, it has been established that most of the people using online dating sites are liars. They lie about their attributes, jobs, properties, salary, and their marital status. Another disadvantage associated with online dating is having unlimited number of options. Similarly, online dating increases the risks of meeting sex offenders and scammers. Lastly, a major concerned faced by those using cyber dates is security.

Works Cited

Elisar, Shimrit. Everyone’s guide to online dating: how to find love and friendship on the internet . Oxford: How To Books, 2007. Print.

Knox, David. Choices in relationships: an introduction to marriage and the family . 11 ed. St. Paul: West Pub. Co., 2011. Print.

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An Argument for Internet Dating

Proper expectations and recommendations on how to proceed..

Posted January 14, 2013

Some commonplace things seem to happen without special premeditation, effortlessly. We grow up, find work, find someone to marry, have children and accomplish other such purposes without paying them much attention . So it seems. Perhaps that is true for some people; but certainly not for everyone, and probably not for most. Most of the effortless success that others seem to have is an illusion. Most of life’s problems are not solved easily or automatically.

Almost everything worth having or doing is accomplished more readily by an aggressive, systematic attempt to achieve that purpose. Putting it simply, good things happen to people sometimes just by luck alone, without much effort, but not often.

Suppose you want to buy a house. Is it likely that the first house you look at will turn out to be the house of your dreams ? No. More likely you will have to look at fifteen or twenty houses before you decide to buy one. If you look at one house every week or so, this process can take a long time. If you look at ten or twenty houses in a week or so—which is possible—you can find that house pretty soon.

The same applies to jobs. I think everyone should always be looking for a new job, in case a better job shows up unpredictably, as they do from time to time. But looking for a job is enervating. Interviewing requires putting yourself up for someone else’s approval, or disapproval. Most of the time interviews are not followed by a job offer. But it is not possible to get a good job without going through such a process. The more interviews a prospective employee goes on, the more likely he/she will finally receive a desirable job offer.

But when struggling to do something, such as find a job, it is important to know what your chances are, so that you do not become demoralized after repeated disappointments. Rejections are inevitable. They do not mean that such efforts are doomed to failure. Studies show that of those submitting resumes in response to an advertised job opening, only two percent will receive an invitation to visit the prospective employer! That means that an applicant can be turned down, or ignored, forty or fifty times in a row without there being anything wrong with his/her application.

The high rate of rejection is not an argument against sending in these applications; it is an argument for sending in more and more of them. If the chance of success is only two percent, the odds begin to favor the applicant if he/she responds to four or five hundred job possibilities. The problems inherent in this process are two: it is difficult to find four or five hundred job possibilities, and it is easy to become demoralized after being turned down over and over again.

This same process of pursuing statistically unlikely opportunities is required for success in many endeavors, for example, publishing a novel, or trying out for a professional sports team, or leading a successful rock band. Most people who reach these objectives only do so after repeated attempts. Or, putting it differently, repeated failures.

Take the matter of dating. Some young men and women meet in high school; and sometime later, perhaps years later, they marry. They never have to deal with the awful feelings of unrequited love. They have never been jilted or disappointed over and over again by meeting one unsatisfactory person after another. They have never experienced the difficult problem of turning away a suitor without hurting his/her feelings. Similarly, they have avoided getting their own feelings hurt when they were the one who was being rejected.

But most sensible people think it is a bad idea to marry young. There is too much young people need to learn about themselves to know what sort of person is most likely to make them happy. Of course, I have seen over the years a number of couples who married their childhood sweethearts long ago. Some of these marriages have lasted and seem to be happy. But in the setting of my office, where people are likely to be frank, most tell me that they wonder sometimes how it would have been being married to someone else. I think that those who meet the right person right away are probably unlucky, rather than lucky. On the other hand, the trials of dating are real.

In prehistoric times, when human beings travelled in small bands of perhaps fifty to a hundred people, there could not have been much choice of mates. It is hard to imagine anything like dating in those days; but men and women did come together, even then. They may not have paired off, exactly; there may have been harems. But even then there must have been some choice involved. After all, other animals have elaborate courtship behaviors. Mammals and birds, and other animals have to win the attention of a possible mate. In prehistoric times, individuals probably had to choose from only a half-dozen or so potential partners. Still, this arrangement worked out well enough for us to have showed up very many generations later. But more choices make for better choices. That must be true.

An argument for internet dating :

We have now, in the time of the internet, an inestimably huge number of potential mates, or to put it in the current vernacular, dates. I have a list of fifteen or twenty dating sites. There are probably twice as many. Some are free. (I don’t recommend those that are free since the people on those site are less likely to be financially successful.) Some people, especially some older people, have a prejudice against internet dating. They make the following objections, which I have described in a previous post and in a somewhat different context:

Meeting strangers is potentially dangerous. Not entirely false, but certainly not true. Meeting people through the agency of these dating sites is no more or less dangerous than meeting them any other way.

Presenting oneself publicly as wishing to meet someone suggests, in the minds of some people, that such a person is driven to dating this way because he/she is unsuccessful dating in a more conventional way. Plainly, false. Patients whom I have known who date successfully are largely inclined to date people they meet in all sorts of places, church, work, parties, and so on— but also at internet dating sites. Why not? There are advantages to internet dating:

• You can be in a dating situation at home, dressed comfortably, at a convenient time.
• Communicating over the internet, you can be careful about what you say (that is, text). You can be thoughtful, rather than impulsive. If it is ever possible for you to be clever or witty, this is a time that favors you. You have time to think. (By the way, I don’t really recommend that people struggle to be witty or charming; it is too hard. Aim for friendly.)
• You start off knowing a lot about the other person. There is a picture, usually. (The picture is chosen, obviously, to emphasize attractiveness . Also, the picture may be a few years out of date, but is still helpful in getting an idea about how that person looks.) Other bits of information include age, level of education , nature of employment, religious ideas, smoker or non-smoker, interest in sports etc. Not all of this is reliable. Exaggeration is more common than outright deceit, although outright deceit certainly does occur from time to time. Still, this is a lot more information than you have about a blind date, let alone someone you meet at a public place such as a singles dance or a bar.
• You get to find out even more about the other person before arranging to meet. Texting back and forth for a while tends to eliminate people who tell off-color jokes and who are otherwise unsuitable. A prospective date may seem unsuitable because of his/her use of language. Or for writing ungrammatically, or for any of a hundred other reasons.
• You can approach a great number of people simultaneously. The rule, here, is that you can certainly date more than one person at a time, but you cannot sleep with more than one person at a time without breaking an unwritten rule and appearing in the minds of most people to treat sex too casually.
• There is some reason to think that the other person will know enough about you by the time you meet not to want to reject you out of hand, which happens sometimes in blind dates and dating in other contexts.

There is, however, a third objection to internet dating:

As is true in the situations described above--finding a house to buy or a good job— you are likely to have to try many times, over and over again, before you are successful. It is important to realize and accept that any single dating opportunity is not likely to result in a long-term relationship, SO YOU MUST NOT BECOME DISCOURAGED BECAUSE OF REPEATED FAILURES. If the first half-dozen first dates are unsuccessful, it does not mean that you are unappealing or that you are too picky. Unless you are extraordinarily lucky, the first ten or twenty people you meet—or thirty or forty—are not likely to constitute a good fit to you. Finding the right person is like trying to fit an unusually shaped peg into a similarly shaped hole. There are plenty of people that fit, but they are a very small minority of all the people out there.

I do not know of any reliable statistics about this matter, but the figures I give below approximate the way these dating situations are likely to progress:

If you are really serious about dating, you join three or four dating sites. You read the profiles of other clients and put up your own. That profile should be honest. (Any lies will surface sooner or later.) Be straightforward. Do not come across as boastful. Do not come across as someone who loves everything in the world from classical music to sky-diving. Do not pretend to being more exciting than you are. Try to come across as a serious person who likes to do things and is interested in new things. Seeming to be sophisticated is not appealing. Since everyone has a tendency to exaggerate, try to seem genuine.

Read other people’s profiles with that in mind. You are likely to find four or five people who seem to be appealing. Maybe. You reach out to them, but only one or two respond; and they seem unenthusiastic. This is par for the course. You are, hopefully, undeterred. Of the next batch of people you reach out to, two respond. You text back and forth with them. One of them who has pretended to be well-educated makes a bad grammatical error, and compounds the offence by telling an off-color joke. The other person, however, seems okay. The two of you talk on the telephone.

You arrange to meet for only an hour or two for coffee or a drink. Since many of these dates are immediately unsatisfactory, there is no reason to make the experience last any longer than necessary. If the two of you are getting along great, you can change those plans.

These first dates only work out about one in three times. The rest of the time you will not like the person sitting opposite you, or he/she will not like you. It is a reminder that, whoever you are, some people will like you and some people will not. You will meet some with whom you have so much in common—so many reasons that the other person should like you—but that person inexplicably will not. On the other hand, some people will take one look at you and think you are terrific, smart and good-looking, and wonderful, for no good reason. Search out this person.

Perhaps one out of every four people you date two or three times will seem to you to be so interesting and so much fun, you begin to think the two of you can have a long-term relationship. The rest peter out. Out of those relationships that last a month or two, perhaps one will really get serious—to the point where you both consider that maybe—just possibly—if you are lucky--- you might develop a permanent attachment . And out of these, perhaps only one out of two or three eventually lead to marriage . This happy ending can be reached within a year by someone who is prepared to date aggressively and who does not get discouraged. I have seen it happen a number of times.

Unfortunately, even after getting married, one out of two couples separate eventually.

This whole process will be disheartening and annoying if you enter into it solely with the idea of finding someone to marry. The proper attitude is to look forward on this next date simply to having a good time. It is possible to have a good time dating, even when the person you are with is plainly not going to be someone you will marry. Otherwise, it is like swimming across an ocean without being able to see the other shore. You get tired. With the proper attitude, it is more like swimming in a lake on a sunshiny day. You can enjoy yourself while you make your way to the other side.(c) Fredric Neuman 2013 Follow Dr. Neuman's blog at fredricneumanmd.com/blog

Fredric Neuman, M.D., was the Director of the Anxiety and Phobia Center at White Plains Hospital. He died in 2021.

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Online Dating: A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Psychological Science

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Although the authors find that online dating sites offer a distinctly different experience than conventional dating, the superiority of these sites is not as evident. Dating sites provide access to more potential partners than do traditional dating methods, but the act of browsing and comparing large numbers of profiles can lead individuals to commoditize potential partners and can reduce their willingness to commit to any one person. Communicating online can foster intimacy and affection between strangers, but it can also lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment when potential partners meet in real life. Although many dating sites tout the superiority of partner matching through the use of “scientific algorithms,” the authors find that there is little evidence that these algorithms can predict whether people are good matches or will have chemistry with one another.

The authors’ overarching assessment of online dating sites is that scientifically, they just don’t measure up. As online dating matures, however, it is likely that more and more people will avail themselves of these services, and if development — and use — of these sites is guided by rigorous psychological science, they may become a more promising way for people to meet their perfect partners.

Hear author Eli J. Finkel discuss the science behind online dating at the 24th APS Annual Convention .

About the Authors

Editorial: Online Dating:  The Current Status —and Beyond

By Arthur Aron

I agree wholeheartedly that so-called scientific dating sites are totally off-base. They make worse matches than just using a random site. That’s because their matching criteria are hardly scientific, as far as romance goes. They also have a very small pool of educated, older men, and lots more women. Therefore they often come up with no matches at all, despite the fact that women with many different personality types in that age group have joined. They are an expensive rip-off for many women over 45.

Speaking as someone who was recently “commoditized” by who I thought was a wonderful man I met on a dating site, I find that the types of people who use these services are looking at the wrong metrics when they seek out a prospective love interest. My mother and father had very few hobbies and interests in common, but because they shared the same core values, their love endured a lifetime. When I got dumped because I didn’t share my S.O.’s interests exactly down the line, I realized how dangerous this line of thinking truly is, how it marginalizes people who really want to give and receive love for more important reasons.

I met a few potential love interests online and I never paid for any matching service! I did my own research on people and chatted online within a site to see if we had things in common. If we had a few things in common, we exchanged numbers, texted for a while, eventually spoke on the phone and if things felt right, we’d meet in a public place to talk. If that went well, we would have another date. I am currently with a man I met online and we have been together for two years! We have plans to marry in the future. But there is always the thought that if this doesn’t work out, how long will it take either of us to jump right back online to find the next possible love connection? I myself would probably start looking right away since looking for love online is a lengthy process!

I knew this man 40 years ago as we worked in the same agency for two years but never dated. Last November 2013 I saw his profile on a dating site. My husband had died four years ago and his wife died 11 years ago. We dated for five months. I questioned him about his continued online search as I had access to his username. Five months into the friendship he told me he “Was looking for his dream women in cyberspace”. I think he has been on these dating sites for over 5 years. Needless to say I will not tolerate this and it was over. I am sad, frustrated and angry how this ended as underneath all of his insecurities, unresolved issues with his wife’s death he is a good guy. I had been on these dating sties for 2 and 1/2 years and now I am looking at Matchmaking services as a better choice in finding a “Better good guy”.

I refer to these sites as “Designer Dating” sites. I liken the search process to ‘Window Shopping’. No-one seems very interested in making an actual purchase or commitment. I notice that all the previous comments are from women only. I agree with the article that says essentially, there are too many profiles and photos. Having fallen under this spell myself…”Oh, he’s nice but I’m sure there’s something better on the next page…” Click. Next. And on it goes. The term Chemistry gets thrown around a lot. I don’t know folks. I sure ain’t feelin’ it. Think I’ll go hang out with some friends now.

Stumbling upon this article during research for my Master thesis and I am curious: Would you use an app, that introduces a new way of dating, solely based on your voice and who you are, rather than how you look like? To me, we don’t fall in love with someone because of their looks (or their body mass index for that matter) or because of an algorithm, but because of the way somebody makes you feel and the way s.o. makes you laugh. At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter if someone has blue or brown eyes and my experience is, that most people place fake, manipulated or outdated pictures online to sell someone we don’t really are. And we are definitely more than our looks. I found my partner online and we had no picture of each other for three months – but we talked every night for hours…. fell in love and still are after 10 years… We met on a different level and got aligned long before we met. So, the question is, would you give this way of meeting someone a chance… an app where you can listen in to answers people give to questions other user asked before and where you can get a feeling for somebody before you even see them?

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Home / Essay Samples / Life / Online Dating / Online Dating And Its Impact On Modern Relationships

Online Dating And Its Impact On Modern Relationships

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• Topic: Impact , Online Dating , Relationship

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How online dating changed dating and relationships?

Negative stigma around online dating, pros and cons of online dating, negatives/ cons.

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