good one liners for best man speech

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The 50 Best Jokes For Your Best Man Speech

As the best man, you’re tasked with giving the toast—maybe the most famous one of the evening. For the big speech, it’s important to have some jokes scattered throughout. The couple gets to be sentimental. Her father gets to be sad and nostalgic. You need to bring the funny like it’s showtime at the Apollo. That’s no easy task, either. Luckily, there are dozens of jokes that have already been written that you can plug your buddy’s name into and carry on. We compiled some of our favorites for you here. Good luck!

Good evening everyone. I’m so happy to preside over the only five minutes that the bride didn’t plan. Of course, I’m only kidding. We went over the speech 40 minutes ago in the hall.

It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

We’ve reached the moment in the evening where we get to watch the groom figet and worry in anticipation. Yes, everyone, I’ve been asked by the staff to give him the bill.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I just want to apologize for not being an experienced public speaker. I’m probably going to spend most of the time looking at this piece of paper in my hands. Oh, it’s not my notes – it’s a picture of the triple Jameson I’m going to down as soon as this is over.

I just heard there was a lucrative pool on the length of the Best Man’s speech. I put my money on 40 minutes, so settle in…

Before I begin my speech, there’s just one order of business I’ve been asked to take care of. *Hold up pair of trousers with padlock on them* These are Jack’s Chastity Pants. I know he’s given keys out to various ladies over the years, but since he is now a married man, he’d like to get those copies back, so Jill is the only one with access. *Wait for the keys you strategically handed out to wedding guests to be brought up*

My name is Peter and I am the Best Man. Many of you would beg to differ, but shut up – I know your secrets.

Just a couple of rules before we begin. If you have a mobile phone – leave it switched on, entertain yourselves. And if anyone texts you any good jokes, kindly pass them up to the front.”

I’ve been told I won’t get away with a few thank yous and a quick toast. Apparently, as Best Man, I’m supposed to sing the Groom’s praises and talk about his good qualities. Unfortunately, I can’t sing and I won’t lie.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt.  Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – Before I came here today one of my good friends gave me some advice on giving this speech. He said think of it like walking through a nudist camp, it’s only hard for the first minute.

Now he’s getting a bit older he’s turning his attention more and more to gadgets, constantly buying stuff from ebay, amazon and I want one of those dot com. I swear he didn’t have an interest in women until he overheard someone say the secret to women was knowing what buttons to press.

I read somewhere the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass to the happy couple!

Sally is a bright, charming, wonderful woman, who deserves a good husband. It’s such a shame Harry swooped in before she could find one.

I think the main reason we’ve lasted as friends all these years is because you’re geographically convenient…and you had a trampoline.

Jack is the kindest friend anyone could ask for; a man whose philanthropy knows no bounds. ‘Generosity’ should be his middle name. He would do anything for me; like helping write a section of the best man speech because you forgot about it until late last night at the bar!

Jack was in a pub when he proposed. No, really, it was actually very romantic – he got up on one knee.

It’s strange to be giving a speech like this one, because my parents always told me that if I had nothing good to say about someone, I should just be quiet.

Seeing the happy couple walking down the aisle earlier today, I’m sure we all agree that the bride looked simply stunning. The groom, on the other hand, simply looked stunned.

So I’m the best man, although I think I was picked by default since the groom doesn’t really have any other friends.

I can only say in my defense that Mike and I share a common sense of humor so if this speech is in anyway unfunny please “Feel Free to Blame Mike.”

I’d also like to congratulate Keith on a truly magnificent speech, I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it.

John did tell me that the vicar was firmly against sex before marriage. However, Jane did assure him it would only take a couple of minutes.

Rest assured though, unlike most traditional best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo, I’ve promised Dan and Anne that if there is anything slightly risqué, I’ll whip it out immediately …”

Although Ria did actually tell me Paul has always brightened up her life. Well, she actually said he never turned the lights off but it amounts to the same thing pretty much.

I’ll try to keep my speech short, because every extra minute I speak is an extra minute’s delay in witnessing how the Groom’s dance lessons worked out.

I do have to say though how lucky you are Dave, you’re leaving with a beautiful wife whom you love. And you, Miranda, you get to go home with such a nice new dress and beautiful bouquet of flowers, it’s great.

Jill, you are an amazing woman who deserves a wonderful husband. And I promise you I won’t rest until I get to the bottom of what’s gone wrong here.

Being asked to be the best man is about five minutes of glowing pride, followed by an eternity of panic and misery. Linda, I expect you had a similar experience when Paul asked you to be his wife.

I spoke to both Sally and Paul before the Wedding and I asked Paul what he was looking for in Marriage – he said “Love, happiness and a long life together.” When I asked Sally the same question – she replied – A coffee percolator!

Speaking of Jane, I would like to say how beautiful she looks today in that fantastic dress …Dan likes it too, as he told me in the church it will blend in just nicely well with the rest of the kitchen.

Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!”

When I saw Linda heading up the aisle with her father, I thought “At last she’s seen sense, and got herself a man with looks and money.”

Before proposing, Paul went to ask Linda’s father for her hand in marriage. He said that it was fine by him, providing Paul took the hand that had spent 20 years fishing into his wallet!

I recognize my place here; being best man at a wedding is like being the dead body at a funeral. You’re expected to be there, but if you say too much people start freaking out.

If you can’t hear me in the back, let the silence in the front assure you that you’re not really missing out on anything.

A Best Man is like a dog. You love him, care about him, and he’s only thrown up and ruined your upholstery twice.

I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to be Best Man at Jack and Jill’s wedding. Jack made me compete for this honor today, but I was able to beat Mark the Bartender over there in rock-paper-scissors, so here I am!

I found the speech length really difficult to settle on. At one point, it ran to almost 70 minutes, so I cut it down to a five-minute speech but I just felt like too many important things were being left out. So I came to a compromise – I’m going to read the five-minute speech. Then straight afterwards, I’ll do 70-minute one and you guys can tell me which speech I should use.

What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now rising to the top of his industry based solely on his intelligence, grit and willpower? A man whose charisma knows no bounds and who has already distinguished himself amongst his peers? Because I’m trying to write my Tinder profile and I’m having trouble summarizing myself.

When I sat down to write this speech I Googled “perfect best man speech”, but you had to pay to read the examples and I didn’t think it was worth it, so I’m gonna wing it.

I admit, I’m extremely nervous right now. As the people sitting near to me at the table can testify, it really is possible to smell fear.”

I must admit, I’m not used to speaking in public. Until now I thought a toastmaster was a kitchen appliance.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

You know, it’s been said that being asked to be best man is like being asked to make love to Camilla Parker Bowles.. It’s a great honor but you don’t really want to do it!

I’ve been anxious about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby. Waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out. Ten minutes ago, I had to ask a complete stranger to burp me.

Dave was telling me that the amazing meal this evening was charged on a cost-per-head basis, so, on the bride and groom’s behalf, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming…

What’s the difference between in-laws and out-laws? Outlaws are wanted.”

Leading up to today John and Jane were having an issue with the seating plan. Who would sit comfortably in here & who would have to get up and stand during the speeches so we decided to use wedding present list, biggest presents at front and work it back from there. So hopefully you can hear me at the back when I say on behalf of Jane and John thank‐you very much for the teaspoons.

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The Most Hilarious Best Mans Speech Jokes

Author: Hollie Bond

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Best Man Speech Opening Jokes

Jokes about the newlyweds, self-deprecating best man jokes, jokes to end the best man's speech.

Feeling the pressure to deliver a best man’s speech that will make every guest in the room laugh? Keep guests young and old entertained for the whole speech with these funny best man’s speech jokes.

It’s such an honour to be asked to be a best man and this VIP role comes with many fun and important tasks (if you’re not sure what they are check out our guide to being a brilliant best man here). One of the tasks many best men dread though is writing and delivering the best man speech on the wedding day. Unless you’re a natural public speaker or have spent time on stage, it can be a pretty daunting prospect, especially when you consider that the best man speech is traditionally known to be the funniest and most looked forward to of all the speeches.

The good news is, you’re not alone and thousands of other best men before you have sat and stared at a blank piece of paper for hours before finally getting the inspiration to write an awesome best man speech.

We’ve got a comprehensive guide on how to write a brilliant groom’s speech here to help you with the structure, format, and length. But, once you have the general gist and bare bones of the best man speech jotted down, it’s time to insert some funny jokes into each section, to keep all the guests chuckling with laughter from start to finish.

Remember you’re not expected to be a professional stand-up comedian, Michael McIntyre style, and a wedding is often an emotional day, so it’s absolutely fine to make jokes that are unique to the couple or situation and also to include a heartfelt sentiment or two in between all the gags. To help you on your way to going down in history as the best best man ever, we’ve rounded up some of the greatest tried-and-tested best man speech jokes and one-liners that’ll easily fit into most wedding speeches. Feel free to tailor them to fit the newlyweds you’re talking about. Good luck!

What shouldn’t the best man joke about?

When it comes to writing your best man speech, there are certain topics that are strictly off-limits. It’s important to spend time thinking about things that will come across badly or offend any guests and really consider every sentence carefully before it makes the final edit.

Mentioning the groom’s ex-girlfriends or a previous wife is a definite no-go, as is talking about the groom’s sex life in any way. So that means no mention of the impending wedding night too. Anecdotes about the groom can be best man speech gold, but you need to get to the punch line within a few sentences otherwise you’ll lose the audience and always make sure any anecdotes will amuse all types of guests.

The best man should always avoid joking about the bride too. Unless you’re really good mates with her and know her well enough to have a giggle with her, then it’s best to just say something heartfelt and lovely about her.

Jokes containing swear words should also be avoided. While the younger generation of guests might not flinch when you swear, older members of the audience could be extremely offended. Finally, it’s best to steer clear of making a joke about how long it took for the groom to propose if that was the case. Not only does it make the bride look like all she wanted was a ring on her finge, it also might be an area of contention between the couple so won’t come across as funny to them.

And remember, you’re not the next Al Murray or Michael McIntyre so you don’t need to pepper your speech with one-liners worthy of a stand-up routine. Only joke about things that are genuinely amusing and specific to the groom at the wedding you’re attending rather than anything too generic that you’ve found on the internet.

Starting the best man’s speech is the most difficult part. Once you’ve said a few words, shaken off those nerves, and realised the crowd isn’t full of people about to throw tomatoes at you, you’ll get into your stride, but those first few sentences can be pretty scary.

The trick is to get the audience on your side from the off with a short and easy-to-understand joke that sets the tone for the speech to follow. Here are some great opener ideas for best man speeches.

1) If there’s anybody here today who’s feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it’s probably because you’ve just married [NAME OF THE GROOM].

2) Good evening. I’m so happy to preside over the only five minutes that the bride didn’t plan. Of course, I’m only joking. She went over the speech with me half an hour ago in the bar.

3) Everyone here who knows Sophie will know that she is a wonderful and kind person, who deserves a good husband. Thank god Theo married her before she found one.

4) We’ve now reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see the Groom shift uncomfortably in his seat and grip the tablecloth in nervous anticipation. That’s right, I’ve been asked to give him the drinks bill.

5) It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

6) I just heard there was a competitive sweepstake on the length of the Best Man’s speech. I put my money on 45 minutes, so settle in…

7) My name is James and I am the Best Man. Many of you would beg to differ, but you’d do well to keep quiet – I know your secrets.

8) I’d like to congratulate the Groom on a truly magnificent speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right – I could hardly follow a word of it.

9) Being asked to be someone’s best man is like being called up for jury duty. You don’t really want to do it, but know you have to. You’re made to dress in a suit and pretend to be an upstanding member of the community. The only difference is I didn’t have a say if the life sentence passed earlier today.

10) I did ask for a microphone but was told one wasn’t available. So if you can’t hear me at the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you’re not missing out on anything.

11) I’ve been told I can’t get away with a few thank yous and a quick toast in this speech. Apparently, as Best Man, I’m supposed to sing the Groom’s praises and talk about his good qualities. Unfortunately, I can’t sing and I won’t lie.

12) Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I came here today one of my good friends gave me some advice on giving this speech. He said think of it like walking through a nudist camp, it’s only hard for the first minute.

13) You’ve got no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to today. After all the time I’ve been friends with the Groom, he has at long last admitted that I am in fact the best man.

14) Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I just want to apologise for not being an experienced public speaker. I’m probably going to spend most of the time looking at this piece of paper in my hands. Oh, it’s not my notes – it’s a picture of the triple vodka I’m going to down as soon as this is over.

15) Firstly I’d like to say I’m very nervous about making this speech. In fact this must be the third time today that I’ve stood up from a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand.

16) I don’t believe in roasting the groom on his special day. Therefore this speech won’t contain anything embarrassing or controversial about Matt. Instead I’ll refer only to the kind, funny side of his character. Thank you and goodnight.

17) It’s strange to be giving a speech like this one, because my parents always told me that if I had nothing good to say about someone, I should just be quiet.

18) Loyal, caring, sincere, honest, a great man… but that’s enough about me, I’m here to give a speech about Arthur!

19) For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Sam and for those of those who do know me…I apologise. My full name is actually ‘Sam-would-you-like-a-drink’. For those of you who I chat to in the bar later, I’d appreciate it if you could use my full name.

20) Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I’m terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn’t drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn’t very well let the groom drink alone, could I?

21) Now, before I start, the venue manger has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation.

22) I have no problem admitting to you all that I’m extremely nervous right now. And, as the people sitting near the front of the room can attest, it is actually possible to smell fear.

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Once you’ve opened the best man’s speech and given the guests an idea of the tone and also helped them relax, knowing that you’re not about to deliver a complete car crash of a speech, it’s time to get personal.

Remember, the best man’s speech is mostly intended as an ode to the groom and your friendship and to give the guests an idea of what the main man at the wedding is really like behind closed doors!

You can also include some jokes about the bride (or another groom at a same-sex wedding), although keep these minimal as the father of the bride will have spent a large part of his speech talking about his daughter. As well as these tried-and-tested quips, try to include a few jokes that are specific and personal to your friend, to ensure the groom and his guests feel like you do actually know and love him!

23) So where do I start about Ben? Well, for starters he’s handsome, witty, intelligent, he’s charm…sorry… Ben, I’m having trouble reading you handwriting. You can tell me the rest later.

24) The bride and groom have asked that I don’t talk about Mike’s mishaps, mistakes, embarrassing moments or ex-girlfriends. So thanks for listening everyone, that’s it from me!

25) I do have to say though Rowan just how lucky you are. You will leave here today with a wife who is warm, loving and caring. And Margot, how lucky you are as well. You leave here today having gained a lovely dress and a wonderful bouquet of flowers.

26) Helen please put your left hand flat on the table. Paul please place your hand on top of hers. Enjoy this moment Paul because it’s the first and last time in your marriage that you’ll have the upper hand.

27) We all know the bride is a wonderful lady who deserves the perfect guy. Too bad you don’t always get what you deserve.

28) Well, I do hope that Meghan and Harry enjoy their honeymoon in Wales. I assume that’s where they’re going anyway… When I asked Harry what he was doing after the wedding, he said he was going to Bangor for a fortnight.

29) I’ve been instructed by the bride and groom to keep this speech smut-free, so if I come across any innuendo, I’ll whip it out immediately.

30) Harry is the kindest friend anyone could ask for; a man whose philanthropy knows no bounds. ‘Generosity’ should be his middle name. He would do anything for me; like helping write a section of the best man speech because I forgot about it until late last night at the bar!

30) Seeing the happy couple walking down the aisle earlier today, I’m sure we all agree that the bride looked simply stunning. The groom, on the other hand, simply looked stunned.

31) I’ll try to keep my speech short, because every extra minute I speak is an extra minute’s delay in witnessing how the Groom’s dance lessons worked out.

If the groom is known to be a bit of a tech geek or a gamer…

32) Now he’s getting a bit older he’s turning his attention more and more to gadgets, constantly buying stuff online. I swear he didn’t have an interest in women until I told him the secret to women was knowing what buttons to press.

33) Being asked to be the best man is about five minutes of glowing pride, followed by an eternity of panic and misery. Jane, I expect you had a similar experience when David asked you to be his wife.

34) Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!

35) When I saw Kate heading up the aisle with her father, I thought “At last she’s seen sense, and got herself a man with looks and money.”

36) Before proposing, William went to ask Kate’s father for her hand in marriage. He said that it was fine by him, providing William took the hand that had spent 25 years fishing into his wallet.

37) I’ve been asked by many how I’m going to cope with my best friend being married and spending all of his time loved up at home. I’m thrilled! I’ll finally be able to talk to women without him cramping my style.

It’s a classic and winning tool in British humour – the self-deprecating joke, where you take the mick out of yourself in order to make the crowd both laugh and also get them on your side straight away. Here are some of the best ways to put yourself down in hilarious fashion.

38) I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to be Best Man at Charles and Camilla’s wedding. Charles made me compete for this honour today, but I was able to beat the barman over there in rock-paper-scissors, so here I am!

39) The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

40) I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby. Waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out.

You’ll probably want to end the speech on more of a heartfelt note or with some sort of thanks and advice for the newlyweds, but there’s always time to get a couple of more jokes in at the groom’s expense beforehand…

41) Ryan was telling me that the amazing meal this evening was charged on a cost-per-head basis, so, on the bride and groom’s behalf, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming…

42) I’ve just got some last messages here to read out: one from Greg’s football team to Jacqui: “Apologies we couldn’t all be there today, good luck with Greg, we found him to be useless in most positions, but wishing you all the best for tonight.”

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Hollie Bond

Hollie is a lifestyle journalist with over ten years’ experience working in the wedding industry as Lifestyle Editor for You & Your Wedding magazine Also a Regional Editor for Muddy Stilettos, Hollie has written for Square Meal magazine, Family History Monthly, BBC History magazine and Homes & Antiques. In her spare time you can find Hollie in a dance studio practising ballet…

Learn more about Hollie Bond

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30 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Handy one-liners to make the guests lol.

If you've read our post on how to make a great best man speech , you'll know that we recommend starting with a joke, and here, we're sharing 30 foolproof examples! The beauty of this list is that it works for any wedding speech, whether you're a groom, bride, best man, bridesmaid, groomsman, bridesman, groomsmaid, father of the bride, father of the groom, mother of the bride, mother of the groom, granny or grandad, or just a close pal with a knack for public speaking! Boasting everything from eye roll-worthy classics to offbeat gags, our round-up of funny opening lines for wedding speeches is sure to have something to suit your personal style, and many of them can be customised to pack an even bigger punch on the day. Kick off with one of these gems, and you'll not only put the audience at ease, you'll set yourself up for a terrific wedding speech!

25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Note: [Name] can indicate yourself, the bride/groom, the couple as a whole, or another member of the bridal party!

1. “Gosh, what an emotional day it’s been. Even the cake is in tiers!”

2. “Hi everyone! I’m [Name] and it’s time for me to give the speech I frantically scribbled down 15 minutes ago!”

3. "The couple have requested that I don't share any embarrassing stories... so that's it from me! Thanks for listening!"

4. "[Name], I love you so much, and I really hope you'll feel the same about me after you hear my speech."

5. "I just want to start by congratulating [previous speaker's Name] on their wonderful speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I couldn't follow a word of it."

6. "The couple actually had a bit of trouble finding someone to make a speech today. They started by asking their funniest friend, and they said no. Then they asked their most charming friend, and they said no. After that, they asked their best-looking friend and, again, they said no. Then they asked me, and, after already turning them down three times, I couldn't refuse again."

7. "Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history - it's the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!"

8. "[Name] and I share the same sense of humour, so if you don't like my jokes, you can blame them!"

9. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to celebrate something truly magical. Something so rare and fortuitous and wonderful that it simply must be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the open bar/donut wall/photo booth/[Name] wearing a tie ."

10. "Where do I start with [Name]? They're kind, intelligent, gorgeous, charming... [directed at them] sorry, I'm having trouble reading your writing, you'll have to tell me the rest later."

11. "I think we can all agree that it's been a fantastic day. But unfortunately that ends right here with my speech."

12. "Loyal. Kind. Honest. Generous... That's enough about me, I'm here to talk about [Name]!"

13. "I'd like to begin my speech by giving the happy couple some relationship advice, but unfortunately I'm single and spend most of my time trying to coax my cat into little outfits/browsing Doctor Who fan sites/playing Rock Paper Scissors with Alexa."

14. "A few months ago, [Name] called me up and asked, 'What are your feelings on marriage?' I had to tell them that, while I was very flattered, I wasn't ready to settle down just yet."

15. "Can everyone hear me OK? If you can't hear me in the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you're not missing anything."

16. "Hello everyone! I'm [Name]. I'm sure you all know me as (Name's best friend/sister/mum/dad), but if you don't, well done on sneaking into the wedding unnoticed!"

17. "Before I begin, I must explain that, this morning, [Name] asked me to remove anything resembling innuendo from my speech. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to go through it again, but if I come across anything risqué, I'll whip it out immediately."

18. "[Name] knows that I'm a bit nervous about this speech, and they gave me some great advice. They said 'Don't try to be too charming, witty or intellectual... just be yourself!'"

19. "All of us gathered together in this room, we've got something really important in common - none of us have got a clue what I'm going to say next!"

20. "I was told that the secret to a good speech is to start with something that's relevant to everyone in the audience. So here it goes - all of your cars have been stolen."

21. "I want to start by saying that, of all the weddings I've attended over the years, this one is, by far, the most recent."

22. "I'd like to start by congratulating [Name] on their excellent taste... in speakers."

23. "Before we start, can everybody do me a favour and get up off their seats? Now can everyone take one step backward, please? Now can everyone move one step to the right? And now can everyone move one step left? Thank you. Someone told me that the key to giving a good speech was to move people, but I think they must have been having me on, because this is going terribly!"

24. "I'm so happy to be overseeing the only five minutes of today that [bride or groom's Name] didn't plan. Only joking, they went over my speech with me at the bar half an hour ago. [Pulls extra page out of pocket] But I did manage to hide one page!"

25. Guys, before I start, just some housekeeping notes, the venue has asked that you don't stand on any of the chairs and tables for my standing ovation."

26 . I sincerely hope that each day of [Insert names] marriage is better than the the one before, the only thing is that also means they'll look back on today, their wedding day, and say that it was the worst day of their lives.

27. I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. You'll be glad to hear, that last night I slept like a baby. I woke up every two hours, bawling my eyes out.

28. Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I’m terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn’t drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn’t very well let the groom/bride drink alone, could I?

29. Just some last messages here to read out: one from [NAME’S] football team for [PARTNER] " Apologies we couldn’t all be there today, good luck with [NAME], we found him/her to be useless in most positions, but wishing you all the best for tonight ."

30. Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments of silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 250 chickens, and the many, many carnations, roses and wedding coordinators who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible.

Found your opening line for your wedding speech? We also have a handy checklist of people you need to remember to thank !

Image credits

Marc lawson photography, via one fab day, see more in:.

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45 Genuinely Funny Best Man Speech Jokes

Contrary to popular belief, best man speech jokes don't all have to be cringe-worthy! Here's 45 jokes that are guaranteed to go down a treat

Pratis Barns

Want to know the secret to great best man speeches? Jokes! Love them or loathe them, jokes are at the heart of any great wedding toast , whether you're delivering one as the  best man  or best woman . Since no-one’s expecting you to develop the stand-up skills of Peter Kay overnight, it’s okay to turn to some tried-and-tested best man speech jokes .

Whether you’re on the hunt for some witty ice breaker jokes, funny openers, or punchy one-liners to entertain the crowd, we’ve rounded up 45 of our favourite jokes that work perfectly when writing funny best man speeches, and will leave the audience in stitches. 

Plus, they're super easy to mix up for a  LGBTQ+ couple. We spoke to Heidi Ellert-McDermott, founder of Speechy , who shared her top tips on how to write the best best man's speech with jokes that will have everyone laughing. 

So, without further ado, here's our selection of funny wedding speech jokes worthy of applause:

45 of the Funniest Best Man Jokes for Speech

1. It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

2. If there’s anybody here this afternoon who’s feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it’s probably because you’ve just married [NAME].

3. We’ve now reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see the [NAME] shift uncomfortably in his seat and grip the tablecloth. That’s right. I’ve been asked to give him the drinks’ bill.

4. All those amongst you who know [PARTNER] well will know that she/he is a wonderful and caring person. S/he deserves a good husband. Thank God [NAME] married her/him before s/he found one.

5. Just some last messages here to read out: one from [NAME’S] football team to [PARTNER] – Apologies we couldn’t all be there today, good luck with [NAME], we found him to be useless in most positions, but wishing you all the best for tonight.

6. I’d also like to congratulate [NAME] on a truly magnificent speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it.

7. [PARTNER] please put your left hand flat on the table. [NAME] please place your hand on top of theirs. Enjoy this moment [NAME] because it’s the first and last time in your marriage that you’ll have the upper hand.

8. I do have to say though [name] just how lucky you are. You will leave here today with a [WIFE/HUSBAND] who is warm, loving and caring. And [PARTNER], how lucky you are as well. You leave here today having gained a lovely outfit and a wonderful bouquet of flowers.

9. Being asked to be someone’s best man is like being called up for jury duty. You don’t really want to do it but know you have to. You’re made to dress in a suit and pretend to be an upstanding member of the community. The only difference is I didn’t have a say if the life sentence passed earlier today.

10. I recognise my place here; a best man is similar to a dead body at a funeral. Of course you are expected to be there but if you say too much then people start freaking out.

11. Now I did ask for a microphone but was told one wasn’t available. So if you can’t hear me at the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you’re not missing out on anything.

12. You’ve got no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to today. After all the time I’ve been friends with [NAME], they have at long last admitted that I am in fact the best man.

13. I didn’t really know where to start so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours I’d found some really, really good stuff. But then I remembered that I was supposed to be writing a speech.

14. We all know the [PARTNER] is a wonderful person who deserves the perfect guy. Too bad you don’t always get what you deserve.

15. As part of my research, I discovered that according to tradition I am supposed to sing the groom’s praises and tell you all about his many good points. Well, I’m very sorry but I can’t sing and I won’t lie.

16. Well, I do hope that [PARTNER] and [NAME] enjoy their honeymoon in Wales. I assume that’s where they’re going anyway… When I asked [NAME] what he was doing after the wedding, he said he was going to Bangor for a fortnight.

17. Firstly I’d like to say I’m very nervous about making this speech. In fact this must be the third time today that I’ve stood up from a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand.

18. Good evening, family and friends. I’m very happy to preside over the only five minutes of the day [PARTNER] didn’t plan.

19. I don’t believe in roasting the groom on his special day. Therefore this speech won’t contain anything embarrassing or controversial about [NAME]. Instead I’ll refer only to the kind, funny side of his character. Thank you and goodnight. 

20. Loyal, caring, sincere, honest, a great man… but that’s enough about me, I’m here to give a speech about [NAME]!

21. The couple have asked that I don’t talk about [NAME]'s mishaps, mistakes, embarrassing moments or ex-partners. So thanks for listening everyone, that’s it from me!

22. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is [BEST MAN] and for those of those who do know me…I apologise. My full name is actually ‘[BEST MAN]-would-you-like-a-drink’. For those of you who I chat to in the bar later, I’d appreciate it if you could use my full name.

23. So where do I start with [NAME]? Well, for starters he’s handsome, witty, intelligent, he’s charm…sorry…[NAME] I’m having trouble reading you handwriting. You can tell me the rest later.

24. I read somewhere the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass to the happy couple!

25. Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I’m terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn’t drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn’t very well let the groom drink alone, could I?

26. I’m going to keep this speech like [NAME] – short and not very funny.

27. I can only say in my defence that [NAME] and I share the same sense of humour so if this speech is in anyway unfunny, please feel free to blame [NAME].

28. Hi everyone, I’m [BEST MAN], I’m the best man – although I think I was picked by default since the groom doesn’t really have any other friends.

29. I’ve been instructed to keep this speech smut-free, so if I come across any innuendo, I’ll whip it out immediately.

30. I’m here to give a speech about [NAME] – but what can I say about him that hasn’t already been a topic on Jeremy Kyle?

31. I heard there was a sweepstake on the length of the best man’s speech. I just went for 40 minutes – so settle in.

32. Now, before I start, the hotel manger has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation.

33. I have no problem admitting to you all that I’m extremely nervous right now. And as the people sitting near the front of the room can attest, it is actually possible to smell fear.

34. They say if you're nervous about giving a speech you should imagine the audience naked. [Look around, look horrified] God, now I feel worse!

35. When it came to writing this speech, I Googled 'best man speech examples' and found some great stuff! So, let me tell you about [WRONG NAME]...

Are you starting to write your best man’s speech ? Once you’ve nailed the best man speech jokes, we’ve got all the advice you need on how to structure your best man’s speech and great ending toasts to finish with .

How to Write a Best Man's Speech with Jokes

Incorporating a few jokes into your best man's speech can be a great tool for loosening up the crowd - Heidi Ellert-McDermott, founder of Speechy , revealed one of the easiest ways to master this is by using comedy based on observation. 

"It’s just noticing the strange things in life that we take for granted. Everyone in this world is weird in their very own way, so start checking out the groom. Question his behaviour, habits and the unwritten rules of your friendship.

"Look at the everyday frustrations and recurring issues. To make observational humour work, the trick is to be as specific as possible. Even positive qualities can be humorous if you dissect them," explains Heidi. 

Another easy tool when it comes to weaving in best man speech jokes is by using exaggeration: "I exaggerate 300% of my life. Just think of a quirk that the groom is known for and imagine it in its most extreme form."

Funny Best Man Jokes that Won’t Offend the Groom

Gabriela Matei

Worried about offending the groom? Heidi suggests that "self-deprecation is also a brilliant tool to utilise. Arguably, the strongest form of comedy and certainly, the safest. No one will be offended if you’re offending yourself." 

But, if you do want to give the groom a bit of a roasting, just make sure to do it with kindness. Subjects that you’ve seen them become sensitive or upset about in the past are definitely off the table! Stick to safe topics and turn them into some playful icebreaker jokes to lighten the mood.

For instance, let’s say the groom is obsessed with sport, has a slightly receding hairline, or never gets a round in at the pub… you can easily throw in some of these teasing best man jokes about football, losing their hair, and buying drinks if you think they would go down well.

Here are a few examples of great opening jokes and closing one-liners that shouldn’t overstep the mark.

36. “This has truly been a day to remember. [NAME] finally bought a round of drinks!”

37. “I’ve played football with [NAME] on many occasions and never seen him lose a ball… as he doesn’t kick it that far. In fact, he struggles to kick it full stop.”

38. “[NAME] may not dazzle you with his wit or good looks. But he will dazzle you with the top of his head.”

39. “Getting married to someone who is balding makes everything so much easier. For example, whenever the photographer calls for a picture, all [NAME] has to do is straighten his tie!”

40. “[NAME] has been so worried about getting married. In fact, he’s been tearing his hair out!”

How to Write a Speech as the Best Man and Brother to the Groom

If you’re the brother or a sibling to the person getting married and you’ve been asked to make a speech as their Best Man or Best Woman, then you’re in a very unique position! You get to draw upon years of life experience and memories with the person getting hitched, which can make the jokes even funnier and more personal. And of course, all of these jokes can be switched up and modified to fit any sibling relationship. 

Here are some to get you started, and you can find even more by reading up on how to write a best man speech for your brother . 

41. “I want to say a few complimentary things about the groom. He’s handsome, intelligent and gifted at sports. Of course, none of this should come as a surprise – we come from the same gene pool.”

42. “If you hadn’t guessed already, I’m the groom’s younger brother. The upgrade, if you will.”

43. “I've always wanted to give a speech - [NAME] is like a genie, he's granted a wish for me today. And I always wanted a sister, and I have that now in [NAME]. But not all wishes come true, after all - I've still got [NAME] as a brother.”

44. “We didn’t play together that much, growing up. [NAME] was the sort of kid my mum told me to stay away from.”

45. “[NAME] blamed me for everything growing up. So, let’s call this speech ‘payback’”.  

Can You Joke About the Bride in a Best Man's Speech?

Danielle Smith Photography

Joking about someone's partner in the best man's speech is something you should carefully consider as it depends on how well you know them and your relationship. 

"You need to judge this carefully but if you could affectionately tease them down the pub, then I’d hope you could do it within your speech. Obviously nothing crude or genuinely rude and nothing that could be taken the wrong way or worry the grannies," explains Heidi. 

"Some people may suggest you play it safe and stick to the gushing compliments - but having been a bride myself, I loved that the best man at our wedding felt comfortable enough to acknowledge some of my more questionable habits. It cemented the fact that he was my friend as well as my husband's," she reveals. 

This rule of thumb applies for any type of best man speech, whether that be for a bride and groom, two grooms or two brides. If you're unsure on what to do or aren't certain they'll be a good sport, Heidi suggests keeping the jokes focused on whoever you are closest to. 

7 Top Tips for Giving a Best Man’s Speech

If you are planning a best man’s speech then don’t miss our top tips:

• Avoid in-jokes that most guests won’t understand!
• Keep it clean – you don’t want to be dropping the F-bomb in front of your best friend’s grandma…
• Pause for laughter - and if it doesn't come, you can tell people they were supposed to laugh there
• Add a personal twist – see if any of these jokes can be amended to suit something that relates to the couple
• Make notes - you might think you'll remember it off by heart, but it's handy to have notes to refer back to
• Project your voice - don't shout, but aim to be heard at the back of the room
• End with a toast - it's the best way to wrap it up

Planning on being the best best man ever? Here's how to plan the perfect stag do !

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Best man's speech

Everything you need to know, the ultimate best man's speech guide.

You’ve arranged an amazing stag do for the groom, and he’s now ready to be sent off into marital bliss. But as the best man the stag do is just one of your duties (admittedly it’s the most fun one of them). On the big day you’ll have to pull out the big guns and deliver the ultimate best man’s speech.

Now you could put it off until the morning of the wedding and wing it, but like a great stag do, a great speech needs some planning. So starting writing your speech with a few weeks to spare, you’ll do yourself – and the groom – justice and go down as a legend of a best man!

With that in mind, we’ve put together the ultimate guide

Quick Links

Best man speech structure

Best man speech jokes

Best man speech one liners

Best man speech examples

Best Man Speech Structure

Start with a bang and end with a big payoff. Connect emotionally with the audience and take them on a journey. Make them laugh, make them cry. Remind everyone how special the day is and make your best mate look good (not too good!). Be pithy and don’t ramble. Keep it all under ten or fifteen minutes and the guests will thank you.

It's a lot to keep in mind, but don’t be nervous, with a solid structure you'll get to hit on all the essential notes. Below is The Stag Company formula for speech success:

Opening Line

An opening line is all about setting the tone. Fail to nail this and you've lost your audience before you've ever started. Generally, a top joke puts everyone in the right mood. There's a few ways to approach this; traditionally you'll be speaking after the groom, so a joke insult about his speech or at his expense is always a winner. However, if you're speaking after the bride's father we'd say steer clear of that and instead - go down the self-deprecating route. A line about how nervous or unprepared you are is a great way to get in an early laugh and get the audience on your side.

Introduction

It might seem a little obvious to introduce yourself. Obviously the bride and groom know who you are. But at a big wedding there's a decent chance that many of the relatives and more distant friends might not. So breaking down how you all know one another is a great way to add some substance and context. This is also a fantastic opportunity to pay some compliments to the bride and the bridesmaids. Anything about how beautiful they look is a sure fire way to set the bride and her family at ease.

This is always one of the key bits. You're really here on behalf of the groom, so a whole section dedicated to him is essential. You'll be talking about your relationship with the groom, but remember to keep in mind that this is about HIM not you, so the focus should always be on him. This is a great chance to build up the comedy and regale the audience with funny anecdotes, maybe about how you met. Keep in mind your audience - the time the groom pulled a 'girl' in Thailand is probably not kosher subject matter for a wedding. And remember that this isn't just jokes at the groom's expense, you're here to make him look good not roast him, so throw in a few lines about what a great guy he is.

Thou Shalt Slow Down; and Stay Sober

A great best man's speech should flow. It's all in the delivery. You want to skip from Point A to B to C in a brisk but not rushed manner. Feel free to take a pause when you feel like it, the audience is listening to them so command their attention. Don't rush through your speech at a million miles an hour. If you do you'll mumble and gabble and your jokes will fall flat.

And just as important? Don't be responsible for the dreaded drunk speech. People will call it ‘memorable' for all the wrong reasons. Hitting up the bubbly early can seem like a great idea to control your nerves but it's a mistake. Remember that you've got all the time in the world after your speech is over to take advantage of the free bar!

The Wedding Day

Once you've exhausted all your clean material about you and the groom you'll want to move onto the day itself. Highlight the effort that's gone into the day and make sure you pay particular attention to the contribution of the bride's parents - after all there's a decent chance they paid for it! If you're talking about the particulars of the day an off-the-cuff observation about the ceremony so far, or the menu or something along those lines makes your speech seem less scripted and more improvisational.

You should be hitting the middle of your speech around this point, and it's where you should probably start to move the tone away from comedy and to something a little more ‘feeling-y'. Unlike the groom, if you're making any jokes at the bride's expense it's not going to go well, and you might upset here on her big day. That's not to say you can't keep the comedy going, feel free to regale everyone with how you the first time you met the bride you thought she was too good for the groom and by the second time you were certain. That sort of thing. This should all be about how amazing she is and how she's made the groom happier than ever. That sort of soppy stuff.

We're in full soppy territory here. Talk about how good the bride and groom are together. Drop in a few anecdotes here, talk about how they've affected everyone's life and how happy everyone is to see them together. If you have stories that are likely to turn on the waterworks, then this is the time! Things not to mention in this section range from past girlfriends (or wives), arguments, and chances are anything that happened on your Eastern Europe stag.

Thou Shalt Avoid The Clichés

Try to be original. Clichés are overused and tired, avoid them like the plague (get it?) . If your opening line is anything like "The last time I stood up in front of a room of people I was found guilty" or "My name is ____ and I'm an alcoholic -wait, wrong speech." Is an absolute no-no. The same goes for tasteless jokes about the wedding night. And if we hear "It's been an emotional day – even the cake is in tiers.", one more time we're going to find whoever first wrote that and make sure they end up in tears.

Philosophise

Here you might want to talk about love in general. Mention the other couples (such as the parents of the bride or groom) as an example of who the new couple can look up to. You've got to toe the line here, things can easily get a little sickly sweet, so finishing with a strong joke can be essential here. After all it's your job to make everyone laugh, and the subject area of love and successful marriages is hardly a comedy goldmine!

Well done! We're in the home straight now! You've done it! The ending is where you summarise everything that you've covered in the speech. And this means that it's a great chance to call-back to some earlier jokes for a few more laughs. Leave your best jokes 'til now to ensure that everything ends on a happy note. Offer some advice to the couple, wish them all the best and ask the audience, along with you to raise a glass for the...

The best toasts are short and sweet, but that doesn't mean that you should put less effort into them. A good toast should take as long as the rest of your speech to come up with. It should reflect the tone of your speech. If you've been heavy on the comedy, a suddenly philosophical line about love can seem out of place. And equally if you've been all about the wonders of love, cracking out a one liner seems jarring and odd. After a fantastic closer it's time to take the praise for a fantastic speech.

Thou Shalt Not Read Off a Script

There’s no more sure fire way to lose the audience’s attention than to be pausing every few minutes to ruffle through hastily written sheets of A4. Reading off a script takes away all the natural feel of a speech, you’ll look like a kid reading a report with the paper a few inches away from their face. If you’re worried about forgetting a line here or there, then we suggest using cue cards. Instead of having the entire speech on them they just have the key points for you to hit. Instead of starting at a sheet of paper you’ll be engaging with the audience.

Best Man Speech Jokes

At times during your best man speech you might want to turn up the emotional side of things, but whatever anyone says the main duty of the best man is to get everyone laughing during the speech. But we've all been to plenty of weddings where the jokes are cheesy, poorly delivered and with a worse sense of timing than a broken stopwatch, the kind of speeches where you're much more likely to cringe than even get a few pity titters.

To make sure that your comedy routine doesn't die a laughless death there's a few things to keep in mind, there's the tone, your delivery and ensuring that you've learned them off by heart so you're never floundering for a punchline.

Tone of Jokes

Put simply, remember where you are . If there's any chance that one of your jokes might go down a controversial route, or offend anyone then take it out. You're not Jimmy Carr, you're not Frankie Boyle, you're here to make everyone laugh, not give nana a heart attack.

It's all about the audience. This means steering clear of inside jokes that only you and the groom will get, he might have a chuckle but everyone else will be puzzled at mention of the 'Noodle incident'.

Don't bore people , when you're telling a hilarious story, it stops being hilarious when you over-explain every part of it. How relevant is it to the audience to know that this particular incident happened when you were 18 in 2004 at 4:07am on Tuesday the 7th just off Second Street and the weather was a little bit rainy, not very rainy but a little bit...

Delivery of Jokes

If there's one thing show business got right it's 'fake it til you make it', good comedy has to be delivered confidently, so even if you're packed with nerves and shaking like the proverbial leaf just pretend that you're confident and you'll find the punchlines come off smother than a really smooth thing.

Furthermore, confidence isn't just about your voice. It's about your posture. Some best men end up looking so rigid they seem like they've had something shoved where it shouldn't. Focus on relaxing your limbs and your body, it won't just put you at ease, it'll make everyone watching you more relaxed too.

Be yourself . Don't make expectations for yourself too high. People are expecting to have a little chortle, they aren't expecting a comedy barrage. So if a joke or two fall flat, don't worry about it and move on. Half the people here are your nearest and dearest, so they won't care and chances are the other half will be too drunk to remember anyway!

Embrace The Applause

It is a natural reaction for many to sip their drink and quickly sit down the moment you finish the speech, but this is the exact opposite of what you should be doing. You've worked hard to write the talk up, learn it all off by heard (even if you did use some notes) and delivered it with aplomb. Soak up all the attention you get and make the most of it. After a few seconds of drinking and smiling, you then need to pass the microphone on to whoever will be speaking after you. This is often the groom, so just check beforehand who you should be passing it to and work out a quick opener to get them a rapturous applause.

Best Man One Liners

Here's a list of best man speech one liners that can be put in your best man speech.

"I heard there is a sweepstake going on the length of the speech. I bid on 1 hour, so good luck!"

"I'm a little bit nervous, but fortunately I received a few wise words in the build-up. I was told that talking to an audience is much like being at a nudist beach, it's only hard for the first few minutes."

"I'm going to ask you to keep laughter and applause to a minimum. I would appreciate it as I've got a bit of a hangover. I know it's inappropriate to drink before such a big day, but I couldn't leave the groom drinking alone."

"I heard somewhere that the speech shouldn't take longer than it takes the groom to make love. Well, that's all from me."

"For those of you who don't know me, my name is Tom. I have been Marcus's friend for 1 week now, he found my advert on Gumtree as he hasn't got many friends so had to hire someone for the day."

"John had a hard time choosing his best man. First he asked his funniest friend, and they said no. Second he asked his smartest friend, and they said no. Third, he asked his most handsome friend, and they said no. Finally, he called me up and I said "John, I can't say no to you four times.""

"I met the groom's parents earlier this year. And they told me to take some inappropriate stories out. So thank you very much, that's it from me."

"So where do I start with Dan? He's handsome. He's intelligent. He's witty. He's cha-... charm... what does that say there Dan? I can't make out your handwriting"

"There's some really important people here tonight. Some of whom you'll meet throughout the evening, and without whom none of this would be possible - so I hope you'll join me in toasting the barman."

"A husband is a lot like a hardwood floor. Lay it right the first time and you can walk all over it for the rest of your life."

"The Oxford English Dictionary describes a wedding as 'a fusing of two metals using a torch'"

"I wish them well on their honeymoon in Wales. What’s that? The honeymoon isn’t in Wales? I could’ve sworn the groom said he was going to Bangor for two weeks?"

"Nick, you really are lucky to have found such a beautiful and caring woman to become your wife. Nicola… at least it didn’t rain today."

"I did ask for a microphone. But unfortunately one could be provided. So if you can’t hear me at the back, the silence from the front should reassure you that you aren’t missing out."

"It’s funny how history repeats itself. It was 30 years ago that Sam and Samantha sent their daughter to bed with a dummy… and it’s happening all over again today."

"Unlike most best man’s speeches which can be full of innuendo, I’ve assured the bride and groom that if there’s anything they don’t like the look of I’ll whip it out immediately."

"How to describe Chris? I’ve spent a long time wondering how best to hit on the right tone of praise, warmth and sincerity that sums up his character. I could speak about him for an hour (don’t worry, I’m not going to) and I’d still be no closer to grasping the essential essence of this man. But funnily enough he can be neatly summed up with an internationally recognised hand gesture."

"The vicar wanted to make it clear to the couple that he is firm on his stance on sex before marriage. However, Jenny has assured him it would only take a few minutes."

Best Man Speech Examples

Jamie Milligan is an ex-footballer who played for Everton and Blackpool. He hit the headlines last year after his best man Dan McKenzie made national news with his best man speech antics. In a genius trick the best man pretended to have forgotten his speech and ran out of the room. The screen in the room quickly cut to a video of him running out of the venue. It then shows McKenzie going to great lengths such as running down streets, over farm fields, stopping for an Ice Cream on Lytham seafront and also a pint. The comical journey includes nods to the groom’s football career and slapstick comedy as he falls over every obstacle rushing to get back to the wedding, where he runs back through at the end of the video. Genius.

Watch Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuTrA55ZUfQ

Darren Byrne is a best man from Ireland who stole the show at his best friend’s wedding with his great idea for personalisation. He spent 11 months collecting videos of messages from celebs for Darren Farrell and Anna Carey and played them at their wedding in Portugal. Byrne reached out to stars and agents to collate it all. He managed to get big names like James Corden, Gary Neville and Gary Barlow to give their best wishes to the couple. Of those that were unable to make time for a video they did receive an autographed photo to take home as a cool wedding present.

Watch Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2e3SujId-w

Dan Buccheri is a talented musician from Melbourne, Australia so when his brother Adrian asked him to be his best man you just know that is going to be great. Of course, Dan chose to do his speech in song form. He chose a medley of recognisable songs with edited lyrics. Included was songs from the Lion King, Backstreet Boys and R.Kelly, all with amusing lyrics. Eg “But now she has found the ignition, she got you sweeping the kitchen”. The song become very sincere and personal towards the end as he uses a take on Sam Smith’s hit Stay With Me to hit the hearts of everyone around.

Watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XL9BB0ttsM

Best Man Speech Opening Lines

Genuinely one of the hardest aspects is simply starting off the speech. Like the classic scene of an author trying to break their writer's block with the opening line of their new book, once you get on a roll it all starts to fall into place, but how do you kick it all off?

Well a great opening line can help to set up the whole speech. I (Tom) wrote in a line that included an asset, I lifted a piece of toast in the air and said 'I'd like to make a toast'. The reaction was a lot of laughs. The negatives, not everyone was fully paying attention, so a silly joke lost on half the room. The lesson from this is make sure everyone is paying attention before starting off, you don't want to waste great lines on people chatting away.

Below are some great ways to kick off your best man speech:

• Everyone here will know the bride is an incredible person who deserves an amazing guy to settle down with. Fortunately (grooms name) got there first before she found one.
• Those of you who know me will know that I'm not big on making speeches (then sit down for a few seconds). 
• I'll keep this short (then sit down for a few seconds).
• I have been hearing rumours that there has been a running bet on how long the best man speech will last for. I've gone for 40 minutes, so strap yourselves in!
• I'll try to keep my speech short, because I can't wait to see (groom's name) on the dancefloor!
• Before I begin, I've been asked by (bride's name) to remove anything risque or any innuendos, so don't worry, if I come across one I'll whip it out.
• I was asked not to share embarrassing stories about the groom (then put a thick pile of papers down), well that's most of my speech gone.
• The couple actually had some troubles finding someone to do the speech today. They started by asking the funniest friend and he said no. They then asked the best looking friend and again it was no. Then they asked their most charming friend I said yes, I couldn't say no after being asked three times.
• Ladies and gentleman, we are witnessing history, this is the first and last time anyone will trust me to make a public speech. God help us all.

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It always settles the nerves when you get a laugh so here’s a few best man speech jokes and one liners to give you a bit of inspiration. You will obviously have your own style and sense of humour so you may wish to adapt or not use at all! Hopefully they give you a bit of food for thought for the wedding day.

It has been a very emotional day ……..as some of you must have noticed that even the cake is in tiers.

I read somewhere that a best man speech shouldn’t take any longer than it takes the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen – I give you Mr and Mrs Owen. (Take drink and sit down).

Ladies and Gentlemen: you are all about to witness a unique event in history.  The very first and very last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt.  Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!

I heard there was a sweep stake on the length of the best mans speech. I just went for 35 minutes – so settle in…….

No seriously this speech will be a bit like Clive short and not very funny…..

I didn’t really know where to start so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours I‘d found some really, really good stuff.  But then I remembered that I was supposed to be writing a speech.

You’ll need a prop for this one – a heavy stack of cue cards that might be used as memory joggers for your speech. “I caught up with Martin’s mum earlier and she told me that I wasn’t to mention any of the incidents with his ex-girlfriend [pause and put a third of the cue cards on the table], alcohol, [pause and put the second third of the cue cards on the table] or the police…[put the remaining cards down and start to gently whistle to yourself]…well that’s that then!”

Stuart’s had some dodgy girlfriends over the years. I never forget a face but in their case I’d be glad to make an exception

Mark has always been a bit of a hypochondriac but I think he learned his lesson during exam time when he took a sleeping tablet and a laxative in the same night. That was a messy one!

Well, I do hope that Howard and Mary enjoy their honeymoon in Wales. I assume that’s where they’re going anyway… When I asked Howard what he was doing after the wedding he said he was going to Bangor for a fortnight…

Well, what can I tell you about the groom? I’ve know him for about 10 years, he’s handsome, intelligent, witty, charismatic..sorry, wrong wedding.

There is an unwritten rule of wedding etiquette that states that nobody should look more handsome than the groom and I’d like to thank our ushers Dave and Parry for sticking to that rule to the letter. I’m not quite sure that saying “You’ll sit where you’re ruddy well put” was really in the spirit of the day, but we’ll let that pass.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Matt. I have been Tim’s mate for 2 days now, he found my advert on a website as he hasn’t got many friends so had to hire someone for the day.

I am actually a little nervous doing this, but I feel a bit comforted by the fact I have actually rehearsed this speech in front of a live audience at the local old peoples home, … I think it went well,they all peed themselves anyway.

– Nobody ever seems to pay the Groom a compliment, I think you”ll all agree Mike is also looking pretty good. For those of you who don’t know Mike is actually one of the hairiest men in Britain, with that in mind I’d like to thank the staff at Chester Zoo’s Ape and Monkey House on Mike’s behalf for their help in getting him ready for today.

I can only say in my defence that Mike and I share a common sense of humour so if this speech is in anyway unfunny please “Feel Free to Blame Mike.”

I’d also like to congratulate Keith on a truly magnificent speech, I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it. During the service today I couldn’t help thinking its funny how history repeats itself, I mean it was 30 years ago David and Pam were sending their daughter to bed with a dummy………and it’s happening all over again today.

Apparently the continents of Europe and America are moving towards each other at a rate of about 5 cms a year. Now this is very slow progress. Scientists have actually created a scale to measure things that move very slowly known as the Sam Davies scale as it based on the time it has taken him to make an honest woman of Sam!

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Ollie and for those of you that do … well I apologise. My full name is actually ‘Ollie would-you-like-a-drink’ For those of you who I chat to in the bar later, I’d appreciate it if you could use my full name.

Firstly I’d just like to say I’m very nervous about making this speech. In fact this must be the third time today that I have stood up from a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand.

I decided to look up Dan’s date of birth on the Internet to see what momentous events took place on his birthday. Unfortunately nothing much seems to have happened. Although the nurses on the ward where Dan was born still refer to that day as Ugly Thursday!

Unaccustomed to public speaking as I am, I have been fairly nervous before today’s speeches, however Gav was very good and took me aside to help calm me, he said if I did a really good job and went easy on him, I could be the best man at his next wedding.

Now I have a few cards to read out from those who couldn’t make it today:

Dear Mike, Thanks for the weekends lazing by the pool, I do hope you’ve made the right choice. Love Michael Barrymore. Dear Emma, It was nice while it lasted, but I guess we’ll have to call it a day now you’re married. From Brad Pitt

John did tell me that the vicar was firmly against sex before marriage. However, Jane did assure him it would only take a couple of minutes.

So where do I start with Marc? Well for starters he’s…Handsome, Witty, Intelligent, He’s Char… Charm…. Sorry…Marc …. I’m having trouble reading your handwriting, you can tell me the rest later.

What are these you ask yourselves – well they’re Tom’s Chastity pants. [Hold up boxer shorts & padlock] Sarah has been making him wear these for the past four years keeping his crown jewels securely under lock and key. She thought that only one key had been made. But rumour has it that copies were made of this key by Tom and he has been giving these keys out to various ladies over the past few years without Sarah knowing. If anyone out there has any of these keys could we please have them back in now as Tom is married and completely out of bounds to any girl but Sarah. [Wait for keys to come back in, after being given out strategically to men, aunts etc] You dark horse Tom!

Now I did ask for a microphone but was told one wasn’t available. So if you can’t hear me at the back, the silence from the people at the front should re‐assure you that you’re not missing out on anything.

There was one time when Mike was asked, ‘What is Emma’s favourite flower?’ To which he had no hesitation in replying, ‘Self Raising!’ ‘What makes a good wife?’ ‘One who helps her husband with the washing up!’ And, ‘What’s the last thing you’ll say to you wife before going to sleep?’ ‘It doesn’t matter what I say, you’ll buy it anyway’

Leading up to today John and Jane were having an issue with the seating plan. Who would sit comfortably in here & who would have to get up and stand during the speeches so we decided to use wedding present list, biggest presents at front and work it back from there. So hopefully you can hear me at the back when I say on behalf of Jane and John thank‐you very much for the teaspoons

I’ve also spoken to some of Mike’s work colleagues who tell me that his nickname at work is ‘The God’, its true, apparently he makes his own rules and if he does any work it’s usually a miracle.

Rest assured though, unlike most traditional best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo, I’ve promised Dan and Anne that if there is anything slightly risqué, I’ll whip it out immediately …

On their first date, Sam took Julie to dinner at one of the poshest restaurants in [location]. All was going splendidly and Sam was delighted when Julie asked him seductively after the main course, if he would like some a little sweeter to follow. Blushing he said, “Oh yes please…” Julie, finding Sam to be the well-mannered chap that he is, said “It’s okay, you needn’t be so polite”, to which he replied “oh, well, in that case, yes please….you, you cow!”

Don’t worry my speech won’t take too long today, because of my throat. Sarah has threatened to cut it if I go on for too long. And Tom has threatened to cut it if I mention anything about the stag weekend in Dublin.

Also, during my research on the internet I also looked into weddings in general, I looked at the three key elements of the wedding service itself: ‐ The Aisle ‐ it’s the longest walk you’ll ever take The Alter ‐ the place where two become one The Hymn ‐ the celebration of marriage I think Sarah must have done the same research as I did, because as she was walking past me, I’m sure I heard her whisper Aisle…altar…hymn, aisle altar hymn. “I’ll alter him”

Now he’s getting a bit older he’s turning his attention more and more to gadgets, constantly buying stuff from ebay, amazon and I want one of those dot com. I swear he didn’t have an interest in women until he overheard someone say the secret to women was knowing what buttons to press.

So, what can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now quickly rising to the very top of his profession based solely on intelligence, grit and the willpower to push on where others might fail? A man who is beginning to distinguish himself amongst his peers and where no‐one can say a bad word against him? Anyway that’s enough about me. I’m here to talk about Dave.

Although Ria did actually tell me Paul has always brightened up her life.  Well she actually said he never turned the lights off but it amounts to the same thing pretty much.

On Richards first date with Ally he thought he’d make an impression, and promised her a seven course meal. She was a tad disappointed when it turned out to be a burger and a six pack!

I spoke to both Sally and Pete before the Wedding and I asked Paul what he was looking for in Marriage – he said “Love, happiness and a long life together.”

When I asked Sally the same question – she replied – A coffee perculator!

Well, she actually said a “perky populator” but I knew what she meant

But I do think you owe me some thanks too Sarah.. For it was part of my extensive list of duties on this amazing day… To keep Simon’s ex Girlfriends away… Although I must admit Ladies and Gentleman… That I did get some help on that… from the recent foot and mouth outbreak…

Speaking of Jane, I would like to say how beautiful she looks today in that fantastic dress …Dan likes it too, as he told me in the church it will blend in just nicely well with the rest of the kitchen.

For those of you on the Bride’s side who are just getting to know him; here is some advice. Never let him date a member of your family.

His colleagues describe him as a first class banker – I may have misheard them.

Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!

You know, it’s been said that being asked to be best man is like being asked to make love to Camilla Parker Bowles.. It’s a great honour but you don’t really want to do it!

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

Then, having duly accepted the honour, I spent a long time wondering how to describe Chris – with the respect due to a man on his wedding day; how to strike the right tone of sincerity, praise and warmth. You see, Chris is a man who truly defies description. I could speak for an hour about him (don’t worry, I’m not going to) and when I’d finished we’d be no closer to grasping the essential essence of my very dear friend… And yet, miraculously, he can be very neatly summed up with a single, internationally recognised hand gesture.

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The Ultimate Best Man Speech Guide (Examples And Templates Included)

• Posted by by Lisa Plaitt

Being picked to be the best man is such a great honor. You will feel blessed that the groom has thought of you, and considers you the best man and friend for the job.

But, as the wedding draws nearer, there’s one thing on your mind. No, it’s not the bachelor party… It’s the best man’s speech(see also: Best Ways to End Your Best Man’s Speech ). 

As the best man, you will likely have many responsibilities in the run up towards the wedding. You’ll have to try on suits, organize the bachelor party, but the best man speech is the thing that most look forward to, or dread!

Standing up in front of many guests, some of which you may not have met before can be nerve wracking to say the least. It’s such an important task, and a part of the wedding that many guests look forward to. 

A best man speech needs to hook the audience in, reveal some funny stories about the groom, and even the bride, but also wish the couple well, and spread some laughter amongst the audience.

But, you have to do all of this in one single speech that can’t be too long, and can’t be too short! 

So, how can you nail the best man speech? Well, that’s where we come in handy. We can offer you this ultimate guide to creating a best man speech, including tips, structure and examples you can take inspiration from. 

How To Structure A Best Man Speech

Not everyone is gifted with the ability to speak clearly and confidently to a crowd. It can be very nerve racking, and make you anxious to say the least.

If you’re unsure of how to go about planning your best man speech, then we can help you out with this simple structure to follow and keep yourself on track. 

This structure is a sort of guide, you don’t have to use it, but it’s a good idea to follow the structure so you cover all bases when doing the speech.

It can also help you when actually performing the speech, as you’ll know what needs to come next and in which order to go over your stories and anecdotes.

A good best man speech begins with:

• An Introduction

Use the introduction to introduce yourself to the crowd. Not everyone will know who you are in the wedding, so it’s a nice way to break the ice and get rid of any awkwardness.

Try introducing yourself with a funny one liner about who you are and how you know the happy couple.

• Talk About How You Met/Know The Groom

Next, it’s a good idea to briefly cover how you met the groom, or how long you’ve known each other. You can give a little history of how far back you go, and mention how honored you are to be the best man. 

• Anecdotes About The Groom

Here comes the fun part! Now is the time to start telling a funny story about the groom. The emphasis here is on funny and not too embarrassing or gross. Choose two or three short anecdotes or stories, but don’t overdo it. 

• Balance Poking Fun With Sincerity

After you’ve had your fun, balance this out by saying something meaningful and sincere about the groom, his qualities or your friendship. 

• Briefly Talk About How You Know The Bride

In this section, you can talk about your first meeting with the bride, how she came into the groom’s life, and how great of a match you believe them to be. 

• Wish Them All The Best

Finally, wish the couple all the best for their future together with a sincere, caring comment. Then, toast to the happy couple! 

Best Man Speech Do’s And Don’ts

There are definitely a few do’s and don’ts when it comes to speaking at someone’s wedding. You’ll want to keep it concise, funny, but not too over the top jokey. Here’s our recommendations of what to do, and what not to do. 

First things first, you’ll want to plan ahead, and write a few stories and anecdotes down that you can remember. Do this for a few weeks before the wedding, so it gives you time to come up with the right memories to share. 

Try brainstorming ideas with other members of the family or bridal party to come up with the best things to share about the groom and his bride. Then, you can narrow down the list and find the most impactful or most important things to talk about.

You should also consider who this speech is going to be said around.

If the groom’s very traditional great aunt or grandma is there, it could be a good idea to avoid any crass, rude stories that could make family members uncomfortable. Save those lines for the bachelor party! 

Do pause for reactions. You don’t want to talk too fast or fly through the speech as those who have laughed at the last line may miss the next one. Always leave small gaps or pauses for reactions, applause or responses. 

Finally, make sure you focus on the couple, not just the groom.

This day is about the two of them. While you are doing a speech because you are the best man to the groom, it is important that you bring in the bride/partner in your speech so that overall you are wishing both of them well on their new adventure. 

What Not To Do

Don’t wing it! You may have some liquid courage on the night, but you need this speech to be a crowd pleaser, so be sure to take your notes and go over the speech in your head just before you have to do it. 

Don’t use foul language, or inflammatory language. You don’t want to cause a dark cloud over the event by offending anyone or causing a scene.

The same goes for mentioning exes (who could well be at the wedding) or bringing up sore subjects during the speech. Keep it fun, lighthearted, and hilarious. 

Don’t use cliches like The groom is like a brother to me. Instead, demonstrate your close bond by telling a story or giving an example of when he treated you like family, and made you feel welcome.

This is far more impactful and will really get the audience involved in your speech. 

Finally, and this is an important one- don’t make it about you. This is not your shining moment, your time will come.

Ensure you’re not talking about yourself too much, and always bringing it back to the bride and groom, because that’s what the audience really wants to hear about.

It’s a chance for them to see the couple in a different light, from your perspective, not learn everything about you. 

Tips For Writing A Best Man Speech

We’ve also got some brief tips for writing and performing your best man speech!

• Practice before the actual speech
• Don’t include inside jokes- they will fall on deaf ears
• Keep it short and sweet – don’t go over the top with long stories/memories
• Don’t use cringey cliches
• Don’t mention exes- even as a joke
• Use clean language
• Don’t say anything political/inflammatory
• Tell a story about the groom and the couple as a pair
• Don’t just focus on the groom
• Always end on a high – make a nice toast and comment about the couple

Qualities To Talk About In The Best Man Speech

Throughout your speech, it is important to keep a running theme. If the joke you are telling is unrelated, it won’t have as much drive and impact.

For instance, if you’re talking about the groom’s thoughtfulness, use funny anecdotes that relate to this, and bring it back to that whenever possible.

Here are some other qualities that are worth mentioning:

• Sense of humor: If the groom is known for his quick wit and humor, be sure to incorporate this into your speech. Share a funny story or two that showcases his sense of humor and make the guests laugh.
• Generosity: If the groom is known for his kindness and generosity, talk about a specific instance where he went out of his way to help someone in need. This will show the guests the type of person he truly is.
• Loyalty: Mention the groom’s unwavering loyalty to his friends and family. Talk about how he has been there for you and others in the past and how this trait is so important in a relationship.
• Intelligence: If the groom is intelligent and knowledgeable, highlight this in your speech. Talk about his impressive achievements or interests that show his intelligence and passion.
• Adventure: If the groom is someone who is always up for a new adventure, talk about his love for travel or exploring new things. This will show the guests his spontaneous and adventurous side.

For example, you could say:

Where do I begin with the groom’s sharp sense of humor? He’s a true master of wit, who can leave even the most experienced comedian in awe. A particularly memorable instance was when him and his bride went on a picnic; after he inadvertently dropped their sandwiches into a nearby pond, he remarked ‘Well, it looks like we’re having fish sandwiches today!’. The bride couldn’t help but laugh out loud at how quickly he turned an unfortunate situation into something humorous – that is simply the type of person this groom is. 

Groom has always had a very caring, loving nature. He would do anything for anyone. Except that one time I asked him to water my plants while I was on vacation. He brought all of the guys over to ‘water my plants’! Thanks for that, Groom. Just kidding, Groom is incredibly thoughtful and compassionate towards all who meet him, which is a quality I believe brought him closer to Bride. 

You want to talk about his great qualities, poke a little fun, or share a funny story, but then talk about how these qualities have translated into his relationship with his partner, or how they have brought them closer together. 

Best Man Speech Examples

Good evening everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Tom, younger brother and best man of the groom. For those of you that do know me…heeeeeeey! 

I have known Jack for…X years now (your age) and have always looked up to him. He had it all, the career, the intelligence, the sense of humor, and now the girl. Then again, I got the good looks. 

In all seriousness, I have always looked up to my big brother. He’s always had a flair for sports, and genuinely has a heart of gold.

Being the youngest of the two of us, Jack has made me a better man, mainly because of the character building he put me through as a child. Jack would love taunting me by stealing my favorite stuffed animals. 

I cherished my favorite, Mr. Snuggles, until one day Jack told me to come downstairs and see the new toy that our Rottweiler had been given.

I was so excited to see our little furry boy happy and playing with his toy until I realized that Jack had offered up Mr. Snuggles in sacrifice with a huge grin on his face. It was a day I won’t forget. 

Despite the taunting and the terrorizing, Jack has been the man that I’ve always aspired to be. In all of the years I’ve been around Jack, he’s always been tenacious and worked hard for what he wants. And he’s always gotten it.

After asking Jenny out the first time, and she said no , he didn’t give up. He knew she was the one for him! It’s a good thing he has the patience of a saint, as it took another 3 attempts to get the first date! 

With Jack being the older, but not often the wiser brother, he managed to get himself into some mishaps in the past.

When he did finally get a chance to take Jenny out on a date, he turned up at the wrong house, and managed to slip and break his shoulder all in one fantastic, first meeting with the parents.

Smoooth, brother. At least he made it an unforgettable start to their journey together. 

With Jenny at his side, Jack’s clumsy mishaps are less and less. You truly bring out the best in him, Jen. I would say welcome to the family, but you’ve been a part of our lives for some time already, and I am truly blessed to be able to call you my new sister. 

From day one, you’ve fit right in, as you too have taken on the role of teasing Jack just as I wanted. Let me tell you guys, there have been many pranks that Jenny and I have pulled off on Jack.

One time, we hid all of his left shoes, until the confusion nearly drove him to madness…and he had to deliver his board meeting like some kind of two right footed lunatic. 

Other times, we’ve hidden around the house just when Jack is coming home from a long day at the office, to ambush him with Nerf guns until he pleads for mercy! Let’s just say justice has been served for Mr. Snuggles. 

I quickly realized that Jenny and Jack were cut from the same mold. You two are a real example of what it means to marry your best friend, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for the two of you.

So everyone, if you could raise your glass…and toast- to the bride and groom! 

Hi everyone! For those of you who don’t know me already, I am Zach, the best man of James! When James asked me to be the best man I felt like it was such an honor.

Then he reminded me that it’s not just about organizing the bachelor party and I have to actually come to the wedding so…here I am. 

I’ve known James for so many years now, having met him at high school. In those years, it’s become clear what a fantastic friend he is. He’s handsome, kind, brilliant, funny…and sorry (looks at Groom) mate I can’t read your handwriting here. I’ll just wing it. 

Just kidding. Me and James have been through thick and thin. I’ve watched him go from a weedy, awkward teenager to a less weedy, awkward adult!

Britney would probably argue with me over the adult part! James has always had that boyish sense of humor that’s often gotten us into trouble over the years. 

I remember James would always be the class clown in high school. But for some reason, it was always me getting in trouble. One day, I glanced over in class to see James scribbling away on his desk.

He’s probably carving out some obscenity in the wood I thought.

This is why it came as such a shock when later that day it was I who was called into the principal’s office, and as I walked with my head hung in shame to my fate, James smiled wide and proudly.

Little did I know it was my name he had carved into the wood, so I could sit in detention after class!   

Ever since that day, James and I have been at war with one another to get the other one back! But deep down, I know that James would do anything for me. If I needed someone at 4am, James is that friend.

Despite our differences, I know he’s as good as family to me, and all of the Henderson’s have welcomed me into their home on many occasions, and now Britney gets to have that same privilege. 

Britney brings out the absolute best in James, and has given us an incredible gift in bringing two wonderful boys into our lives. With Britney, James gets someone who is beautiful, smart, caring, and Britney…well, you get James. 

In all seriousness, if Britney gets half as much joy in being married to James, that I have had in being his friend over the years, then she will be incredibly lucky indeed. 

On behalf of all the groomsmen, bridesmaids and myself, I would like to thank James and Britney for having us be a part of their special day. I know how hard you’ve worked to make this a day to remember, and you’ve definitely succeeded. 

I wish you both all of the happiness, joy and good luck in the world, as you take these steps towards your future together. To the bride and groom, everyone! (Cheers). 

Hello everyone. My name is Joe and I’d just like to thank John for finally confirming that I am in fact – the best man, after 20 years of friendship. 20 years is a long time.

Just think, back then…Low rise jeans were in fashion, Spiderman was the favorite superhero, and Ben Affleck and J-Lo were together. So really, nothing has changed in 20 years, and the same goes for our friendship. 

If I ever needed building up, or bringing back down to earth, John was the man to do it. He’s always been there for me, through thick and thin. And let’s face it…during the college years, we were more thick than thin!

But, we had each other’s backs no matter what.

I remember one time in college, we decided that reading books and writing our own essays just wasn’t for us anymore. We decided to pay someone to write us an essay, and we would switch it up to pass the class.

From that day on a keen businessman was born- be careful everyone- you’ll probably get a bill for your food! 

It all would have gone swimmingly if John hadn’t forgotten to change the name on the essay, but he never took me down with him!

Since then, I’ve realized what a tenacious person, good friend and loyal individual John was, and it’s an absolute blessing to be up here with you tonight as your best man. 

There is one very important person who is not sitting on this top table with us today, and that is John’s mother, Cathy, who sadly passed away just last year.

I’ve joked a lot about John tonight, but I know that Cathy would be incredibly proud to see the man that you have become, and over the moon of how happy you are today with Mia.

So, if you wouldn’t mind joining me in raising a glass to John’s mom, who can’t be with us today, but is with us in spirit. Cheers. 

On behalf of the wedding party, I would just like to say a huge thank you to John and Mia, for including us in their special day.

It’s been a wonderful day so far, and all Mia’s hard work planning and prepping has truly paid off. John, you just sit there and look pretty. 

In addition, I’d like to thank both Mia’s parents, and John’s dad who have helped make this day extra special for the happy couple, which I’m sure they are eternally grateful for. 

I’d also like to say that the bridesmaids have done an incredible job helping Mia plan the perfect wedding, and for making sure that Mia looks every bit as beautiful as she does today.

They also had the difficult task of getting Mia to the church on time, which if you know Mia is a very big achievement, indeed. 

Finally, I’d like to thank the groomsmen for organizing and completing the best bachelor party Miami has ever seen. I only hope it was the send off John was hoping for before he begins the next stage of his life with Mia. (But I highly doubt it) 

John, I’ve loved being your best friend, and I thank you for bringing Mia into our lives. She’s a beautiful person, intelligent, and brings out the best in everyone she meets. Her only downfall is her taste in men! Just kidding. 

Seriously, I think everyone will join me in saying that we wish you only the best for your future together, and that we all can share one day in a love like yours. Cheers to the bride and groom! 

Ladies and Gentleman, I have an announcement to make. If there is anyone here tonight that is feeling nervous, apprehensive, or maybe even a little nauseous at what lies ahead…then it’s probably because you’ve just married Adam. 

For those of you who don’t know who I am, I am the best man, James. There are few words to describe Adam. Handsome, funny, but smart isn’t one of them. You see, Adam was my best man, at my wedding, and boy he did not hold back!

So, as we stand here today, know that my time has come for me to get you back!

Before I start the character assassination that is my best man’s speech, let me just thank Adam and Olivia for having us be a part of this very special day.

I know how much work has gone into making today as great as it has been, so thank you both for pulling it off! To be honest, I never thought Adam would find someone to marry, let alone someone as beautiful and amazing as Olivia!

I’ve known Adam for a very long time, all the way back to when he still had hair! We first met during our studies at X University. At first I thought we had nothing in common, but I quickly found out that we did. We would both likely fail our first year!

Our time at University was one of the best in my life, and I’ve far too many stories to tell you about our lovely Adam here. 

But, as the BEST man, I won’t do to him what he did to me. Instead, I’ll talk about his lovely qualities over the years. First up, is his beautiful singing voice. I can’t tell you how many times I heard the works of Marvin Gaye after he met Olivia.

We quickly banned singing in the shower at our dorm because of all the love songs he would belt out after going on a date with Olivia. To say he was smitten from the start is an understatement. 

And why wouldn’t he be? All those who know Olivia know what a lovely, and caring person she is. She deserves a good husband. Thank god Adam got there first before she could find one! 

Another defining quality that drew Olivia to Adam is his caring nature. We’re incredibly proud of Adam for working as an EMT and helping people every day.

I’ll never forget the time a few years back during a friendly soccer game where I slipped and fell over on my side, snapping and breaking my ankle.

Adam was at my side within SECONDS…to let me know he caught my fall on video. Emergency Medical Services *Scoff*. Only when he saw the angle of my ankle did his medical training kick in.

All jokes aside, Adam and Olivia have always been there for me, and I them. I’d like to think of them as family rather than friends, and can only hope that continues going forward.

Adam and Olivia…I’ve never met two people more perfect for one another. You are both kind, old souls, and you make each other incredibly happy. So, if you all could raise your glasses with me, and toast to this amazing couple…to the bride and groom!  

Hello everyone. My name is Kane, and I am the best man, and longtime friend of Rob. I was, however, somewhat surprised to be asked to be the best man, as Rob has never been able to admit this over the years.

At first, I thought this was great. I get to plan a bachelor party for Rob, but then he reminds me I have to write a killer speech that would likely make everyone laugh. 

I had no idea where to start, so I decided to trawl the internet for inspiration. After a few hours, I found some really….really…great stuff. But then I remembered I needed to write a speech, so I got off YouTube. 

I asked friends and family for advice, and according to tradition, I am supposed to sing Rob’s praises and tell you all about his fantastic qualities. Well, sorry to tell you, but I can’t sing and I don’t lie. So that’s out of the window. 

But, Sophia told me I can’t say anything too rude or controversial about Rob. Instead, I can only say nice funny things, so with that in mind, thank you and goodnight all. 

Just kidding. Seriously, Rob is one of the most kind, funny, caring and compassionate people I have ever met. This is a quality that I think brought Sophia closer to him.

His willingness to do anything for anyone, without accepting anything in return is what makes Rob extra special, and a joy to be around. 

In turn, Sophia is one of the sweetest, and funnest ladies I have ever met! We’ve shared many great memories together, with my partner included, as Sophia and Rob are actually our children’s godparents. 

I’ve known Rob for years. We grew up only a few doors apart on our street. I thought there was no kid cooler than Rob. He had all of the best hot wheels, Pokemon cards, and I had a huge crush on his big sister, Natalie *winks at groom’s sister*.

Looking back, I was probably a big nuisance always wanting to go play over his house, but I had some of the best time of my life growing up with Rob by my side. We’ve been there for every big moment of each other’s lives.

Graduation, getting our first jobs, our first cars, and now I get to be here for the biggest day of his life, where he gets to marry the beautiful Sophia. 

Sophia and Rob, your love for each other shines through you. Sophia, I’m happy to step down as I can see that you two are truly best friends, and meant to be.

I can’t think of anyone better to look after my Rob here, and I know he will do everything he can to look after you for the rest of his days. 

Thank you both so much for a fantastic day. If the rest of your lives is half as good as today has been, then you are in for a joyful marriage indeed. Please join me everyone in raising a glass to the newly weds, Rob and Sophia. Cheers! 

Best Man Speech Frequentl Asked Questions

Does the best man have to do a speech.

The best man does not have to give a speech if he really does not want to, or if there isn’t enough time because there are other people doing speeches, but it is tradition and expected of the best man to do a speech. 

When Does The Best Man’S Speech Happen?

The best man speech will typically happen after the groom has said a few words. However, every wedding is different, and the bride and groom may organize the day differently depending on how they think the speeches should flow. 

How Long Should A Best Man Speech Be?

A best man speech should be short and sweet, but not too short, and not too long. A happy medium is about 5-6 minutes in length. You don’t want it to be shorter than 3 minutes as it may seem too brief.

The point is to keep the audience engaged, and deliver a few anecdotes, thank the bride and groom, and raise a toast. 

What Should You Include In A Best Man Speech?

There are a few things that you should include in the best man speech. This is who you are, and how you know the bride and groom.

In addition, you need a fun story about the groom and you, and why you think the bride and groom are an excellent match, followed by your best wishes for the couple and a toast to their future together. 

Who Should You Thank In A Best Man Speech?

In the best man speech, you should thank the bride and groom of course, but you can also thank the bridesmaids or groomsmen for their efforts, or say thank you to the parents of the bride and groom, especially if they have contributed a lot to the wedding.

To summarize, writing a best man speech is not all as bad as it seems.

With this ultimate guide, you’ve got all of the tools you need to succeed, and successfully deliver a hilarious, fun, lighthearted speech that is sure to wish the couple all of the best for the future.

Whether you are looking for examples, tips, what to do, or what not to do, we’ve covered it all in this handy guide.

Now, instead of stressing out about what you are going to say, how you are going to say it, you can look forward to the wedding planning process in the run up to the big day, and most importantly…the bachelor party!

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Lisa Plaitt

Hello, I’m Lisa Plaitt and I have been married to my wonderful husband for almost five years. We met almost a decade ago now and I love him more everyday. But on my wedding day - the day that was supposed to be about celebrating us - I was far too stressed to enjoy it. My husband proposed to me in spring and it was a very lowkey setting, in our backyard without anyone else around to see it. It was a perfect proposal. But then everything got real, and I was suddenly thrust into planning mode.

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Rock Your Best Man Speech Using Our Expert-Approved Advice

• Chapelle writes articles for The Knot Worldwide. She covers all things wedding-related and has a personal interest in covering celebrity engagements and fashion.
• Before joining The Knot Worldwide, Chapelle was an editorial intern for Subvrt Magazine.
• Chapelle has a degree in English writing from Loyola University New Orleans.

Pat yourself on the back—you're the best man. It's a good feeling when one of your loved ones asks you to be their right hand for the wedding. Beyond the fun best man duties , like planning an epic bach party , you'll have to give a rousing best man speech. We believe it's arguably the most meaningful duty, but don't let that get you nervous. Whether you're a public speaking pro or have only delivered speeches while on the eighth-grade debate team, boost your chances of making your best man speech a hit by using our helpful tips, ideas and examples for inspiration.

In this article:

Printable Template | How to Write | Examples | Tips | FAQs

Printable Best Man Speech Template

Delivering a best man wedding speech doesn't have to feel like a chore. Use the template below as a checklist while you're writing your best man speech.

How to Write a Best Man Speech Outline

We're guessing the thought of crafting a flawless best man speech from scratch feels pretty overwhelming right about now. Start by drafting a bare-bones outline (trust us, drawing up a rough outline is way more palatable than writing a fully fleshed-out speech). You don't need to include every element in your wedding speech . Instead, customize it to fit the couple, the event and your relationship with the groom.

1. Have a killer opening line.

Successful best man speeches always start with a good opener. Introduce yourself and explain your connection to the happy couple. Have fun with this part by sharing a quick joke or quoting a poem so your speech doesn't start off stale. For example, "Hello everyone! For those of you who don't know me, thank you so much for coming to my wedding. [pause for laughter] Sorry about that...I'm a little nervous."

2. Thank the other speakers.

Once you address the audience, give props to the previous speaker to help lead into your speech. If you know your speech has a sillier sentiment, now's your chance to warn your audience in the change of direction. Here's an example: "Let's give it up to the amazing speech given by the wonderful maid of honor . If you enjoyed how thoughtful and sweet her speech was, you better get the tissues ready for this one!"

Next, express your gratitude to the couple's parents. Thank the couples' parents for not only raising incredible adults and, if they helped pay for the wedding, for hosting such a great party. Here's an example: "I'd like to begin by expressing my deepest gratitude to the couples' parents for raising such amazing people, who I'm fortunate to call my best friends. I would also like to thank their parents for hosting such an awesome celebration for all of us to enjoy this evening."

3. Say a few words about your friend's new spouse.

Another writing a best man speech tip is always to give a special shoutout to the new spouse so they feel welcomed and included. Yes, we know you most likely have a closer relationship with the groom, but don't let that stop you from showering them with kind words––it's their big day too. Talk about the qualities you like about them and why you love them in the groom's life. Try this, "I'm so happy [Spouse's Name] fell in love with [Groom's Name]. Firsthand I've seen the grace, intelligence and confidence [Spouse's Name] has, which explains why [Groom's Name] knew he wanted to marry [Spouse's Name] after their first date."

4. Share personal stories.

What's going to make your best man speech stand out are personal stories. We suggest adding one or two anecdotes, like your favorite memories with the groom (and their partner, if you want). Avoid choosing a story that rambles on and has no sentimental or funny ending—keep it lighthearted and short. Here's a silly example, "I remember when we first met in first grade. [Groom's Name] had just glued his hand to his face but still used his free one to shake my hand and ask if I wanted to be his friend."

5. Talk about the couple's relationship.

This is the time to speak about why the groom and their new spouse are a great couple. Share how they first met and how their relationship has grown so other guests can get a better insight into the newlyweds. If you helped the love birds meet, say something like this in your best man speech: "I know I said earlier I'm the best man, but I lied. I'm actually Cupid because I'm the one who introduced these two eight years ago."

6. Propose a toast.

Finally, close out your best man speech with a heartfelt toast. Ask everyone to raise a glass and provide well wishes to the newly married couple. Steal this wedding toast : "Everyone, please join me in raising a glass to such a wonderful couple. I wish you a lifetime of peace, love and happiness. Love you guys!"

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Best man speech examples.

Now that you know how to write the outline, let us provide you with some inspiration. Here are four best man speech ideas for every type of delivery.

Short Best Man Speech Example

Short best man speeches can make the grade just as much as long ones. Try this short but sweet example.

As the poet, Dante once said, 'A great flame follows a little spark.' When [Groom's Name] met [Spouse's Name], there was a little spark. I know because I talked to him the next day.

From the way he talked about [Spouse's Name], this stranger he chatted up at a Halloween party, I could tell this spark was something special.

You two are fantastic together. May the flame burn long, and may sparks continue to fly. Cheers to the newlyweds!

Funny Best Man Speech Example

Funny best man speeches are our favorite. You get to show off your comedic skills while giving loving well-wishes to the happy couple.

Hello! For those who don't know me, I'm [Your Name], the best man. I've known [Groom's Name] since middle school, which means that it was before we learned mullets weren't a good look for either of us.

[Groom's Name] and [Spouse's Name] told me there are some topics I should avoid in this speech so…[Look through cue cards, then shake head and dramatically drop them all to the floor but one.]

[Reading from the remaining cue card] [Groom's Name] is really the best friend I've ever had. He's done so many wonderful things it would be difficult to name them all. Hey, [a Groomsman's Name], I can't read your handwriting here!

But seriously, it's all true. This guy is a great friend, the best I've got, and I'm very proud to stand by his side today.

[Spouse's Name], I was hoping to be the best-looking person in the room today but obviously, I failed miserably. You look beautiful and radiant. I'm beyond happy for the two of you.

May you always find joy in the little things, like your Xbox and 'Star Wars.' Oh wait, that's my personal goal. You should actually find joy in each other, and do everything you can to have a lifetime of happiness together. Let's toast the newlyweds!

Best Man Speech for Brother Example

Need best man speech examples for your brother? Use our speech below as a guide to delivering a sweet message to your older or younger brother.

On my fourth birthday, my parents got me a brother…I wanted a puppy.

But seriously, as a kid [Groom's Name] wanted to do everything I did. He used to follow me around. He used to sneak into my room and play with my Matchbox cars. Our parents could get him to eat his broccoli by making me eat my broccoli.

It wasn't until after I went to college that he started going down his own path. He started doing volunteer work. He found a job he loves, a pretty killer apartment and, of course, he found [Spouse's Name].

[Spouse's Name], you're the nicest person I've ever met, and my brother is so blessed to have someone like you in his life. Thank you for being there for him.

I'm so happy you two found each other especially because I'm gaining a sister today. Oh, and I want to set the record straight. I'm glad I didn't get a puppy that day. I love you, little bro.

Congratulations to both of you. I wish you lots of laughter, love and joy as a married couple. Cheers to the newlyweds!

Best Man Speech for Best Friend Example

For those who need a best man speech sample for their best friend, we got you covered. Here's how to tell your BFF you're happy for them on their special day.

Good evening, everyone! I'm [Your Name], and I'm extremely honored to call myself [Groom's Name]'s best man. Also, please excuse the puffiness under my eyes, I've been happy crying since before the ceremony.

I first met [Groom's Name] while working at a pizza joint called Domenica's while in college. I hated being a server with all my heart, but whenever [Groom's Name] and I were scheduled together, it made it so much more bearable.

We laughed until we cried, ate hundreds of garlic knots and I can't tell you the amount of times we accidentally got pizza dough stuck to the ceiling during our pizza toss competitions. But even after we both quit and moved on to bigger and better things, we still kept in touch and I'm eternally grateful.

One of those bigger and better things was [Spouse's Name]. [Groom's Name] really discovered the perfect piece to his puzzle. [Spouse's Name] laughs at his bad jokes, listens to his long monologues about Batman vs. Superman and most importantly, loves him no matter what. [Spouse's Name] is a phenomenal and caring person who deserves the world, and I know [Groom's Name] will do everything he can to give it to them.

Thank you both for allowing me to be a part of your beautiful wedding, and I can't wait to see what else is in store for you in the future. Love you guys, and cheers to the handsome couple!

Best Man Speech Tips

Good news! We got how to give a best man speech tips from Dominic Bliss, wedding writer and author of Being the Best Man for Dummies. Study up on these helpful pointers below to minimize pre-speech jitters and ensure a smooth delivery.

Plan ahead.

The first tip in our guide on how to write a best man speech is to get started in advance. (As in, do not procrastinate.) "Start writing a best man speech at least two months before the wedding," Bliss says. "As the wedding nears, there are lots of events—suit fittings and a coed shower, perhaps—that could distract you from getting your writing done." Brainstorm and write down any stories, jokes or best man speech quotes you want to include. The more time you have to prepare your best man speech, the better. This way, you'll be able to be fully present at upcoming wedding festivities.

Be genuine.

Whether the wedding guests are strangers or family, it can feel nerve-racking to deliver your best man speech with all eyes on you. To ease the awkwardness, provide anecdotes and stories about your relationship with the couple. Everyone loves a bit of nostalgia, and the guests get to know you better.

With that said, stay true to how you normally act while making your speech. There's no need for you to change who you are for some made-up public speaking persona. If you feel more comfortable cracking jokes throughout your speech, do it. If you are better at being sentimental and don't mind leaving everyone misty-eyed, take that approach. Remember, the couple chose you to speak at their wedding because they felt you could add something special to their big day. As long as you deliver a heartfelt speech, the newlyweds and guests will love it.

Know what topics to avoid.

There are a few topics to omit from the best man speech. No matter how funny you (and even the groom) might think they are, someone is bound to be offended or put off if you mention:

• Negativity about marriage in general.
• Past relationships.
• Previous marriages/divorces.
• Drinking, drugs, gambling.
• "Adult" humor or any other mention of sex.

After all, your best man speech should celebrate the newlywed couple and their love rather than causing future friction. Keep it PG.

Consider adding jokes.

If you want to deliver a funny best man speech, consider poking some fun at the groom. "Every groom will have some funny characteristic or quirk you can ridicule," Bliss notes. "As long as it's something everyone can appreciate, it's sure to get a laugh. Avoid obscure references or inside jokes. You want older guests and those who don't know him well to see the funny side too." Be strategic about your jokes too. You can make jokes about the groom but leave their new spouse alone.

Write it down.

Even those with a great memory will feel more confident with a written speech or at least a few bullet points to keep them on track. Nerves can mess with your memory, so don't think you're a failure if you have to bring notes with you. (Even CEOs do this at corporate events.) Bliss suggests using small note cards instead of a sheet of paper since they "won't flap around."

And yes we know many groomsmen will want to read off their cell phones out of convenience, but wedding planners recommend against it. The lighting from your phone screen can ruin the wedding photographer's photos and can be distracting to guests. Practice writing down your speech instead—it's quite soothing.

Practice with an audience.

This tip is a must when it comes to writing a best man speech. Even if you think you have this whole thing in the bag, practice delivering your wedding speech aloud at least three times. When you're by yourself, take a video and watch the playback to get a feel for how your speech is going. (Do you say "um" between every sentence? Are your gestures a little robotic?) If your friends can't offer critiques in person, "send [the video] to a close friend who won't be going to the wedding and who can give you honest feedback," Bliss recommends.

Finally: don't mumble. A great best man speech becomes boring if it's monotonous or guests are straining to hear you. Speak confidently and slowly.

Best Man Frequently Asked Questions

If this is your first time giving a best man speech, you might have a lot of questions. Here are answers to the top wedding speech inquiries.

How Long Should a Best Man Speech Be?

In general, the best man speech length should be at least three minutes, but no more than five minutes. This is enough time to say something meaningful before guests get too antsy. Of course, you should adjust your speech length to the event. If you're speaking at a last-minute wedding, it might require a brief speech, while a formal affair could call for a longer toast. But you might also be wondering, "how many words should a best man speech be?" We suggest between 700 to 1000 words.

How to Start a Best Man Speech

Begin your speech by addressing the audience and thanking them for attending the wedding. Here's an example, "Hello, everyone. On behalf of the newlyweds, I want to thank everyone for attending this amazing celebration." You can even butter up the crowd by saying how lovely everyone looks this evening. Then, introduce yourself and how you know the groom or couple. This is a great opportunity to add a funny story or memory you have with them that can lead you into the rest of your speech.

How to End a Best Man Speech

Raise your glass and offer a toast wishing the couple a lifetime of happiness, excellent health and success. Your toast can include one final joke or be a marriage quote from your and the groom's favorite movie. Either way, take this chance to sincerely express the newlyweds well. Remember, concluding the speech is the easiest part.

Does the Best Man Have to Give a Speech?

It's not required, but it's expected that the best man gives a speech—especially if the other honor attendants are giving one. If speaking in public makes your stomach turn, consider showing your appreciation for the couple in a different way. We've seen best men do upbeat choreography, sing the couple's favorite song or even present a wedding video they made.

When Does the Best Man Give His Speech?

Following the traditional wedding speech order , the best man speaks after the maid of honor and is the last speech during the reception. There's no need to use this itinerary since the speech order depends on your reception timeline and wedding party size. The to-be-weds might even ask you to deliver your speech during the rehearsal dinner, which most likely will be in front of a smaller audience (score!). Before the wedding and during, double-check with the couple to ensure you know when to give your best man speech so no one has to hunt you down when it's your turn.

Best Man Speeches – Examples, One-Liners, & Tips

Are you the best man looking to deliver a speech that everyone remembers? We know how important the moment is, and we’re here to help.

We’ve put together some great outlines of how you can build your best man speech. In each of our speech examples, we’ve highlighted a foolproof way to accomplish your desired tone.

Whether you want your best man’s speech to be funny and lighthearted or serious and inspirational, you’ve come to the right place to find ideas that will jumpstart the creative process. We will teach you how to relieve a bit of the pressure with a joke initially, get into some details about how you met the couple and what they mean to you, and then ultimately deliver the final epic toast that gets people on their feet.

We’re excited to share with you all the tips, tricks, and planning tools needed to create an excellent best man speech, including awesome examples to guide you along and inspire you.

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Examples of Speech Components

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How to Write Your Best Man Speech

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Best man speech dos & don’ts, best man speech videos.

• One of the Funniest Best Man Speeches
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• Best Man Speech – Get A Standing Ovation

Best Unrehearsed Best Man Speech

• Best Man Speech – Irish Guy at Italian Wedding

3 Examples of Funny Best Man Speeches

Relieve a bit of the pressure from creating a chuckle-inducing best man speech using these three examples below as inspiration. Whether you focus on the bride a bit or pick out the most embarrassing story of the groom, you know, some solid one-liners scattered throughout your sentiments will get the job done.

The “Shower Her With Compliments” Speech

“Isn’t [Bride] looking absolutely gorgeous tonight? Not only is she beautiful, though, she’s also caring, sweet and she deserves one hell of a husband. Thankfully for [Groom], she agreed to marry him before she found one.

[Groom] gets to leave tonight having gained a wife with all of the qualities one could dream about having in a partner. [Bride] leaves tonight with a bouquet of flowers she can pop in a vase at home and cherish for a few days to come.”

The “We Go Back” Speech

“For those that don’t know me, [Groom] and I go back all the way to middle school. This means we go back to a time when [Groom} looked more like Chunk from The Goonies and less like the suave man sitting before us tricking [Bride] into thinking that watching him do the Truffle Shuffle in the mirror isn’t in her near future.

[Groom] really is the best friend I could have ever asked for. Growing up, we lived across the street from each other, so he was always really more convenient than anything else. The fact that there was an inground pool in his backyard didn’t hurt the relationship either.

But now we sit here [x] years later, [Groom] has grown into a wonderful man, and he’s sure to be a wonderful husband to you [Bride]. As long as you can get past his infatuation with Teletubbies and the fact that he went as Tinky Wink for Halloween in the fourth grade, I think you’ll make it through anything!”

The “Reasons to Marry the Groom”Speech

“Good Evening, everyone! I trust that you’re having a superb night racking up the bar tab. Sorry about that, [Groom].

Ya know, the best man speech is known for throwing out some of the most embarrassing aspects of the groom’s past. Funny stories from middle school or bringing up bad haircuts, but that’s not really my style. Instead, I’d rather make it clear to everyone just why [Bride] has decided to marry [Groom].

There are three rather simple reasons.

Firstly, he’s got really great taste. He did choose me as his best man, after all. He even decided to wear the same outfit as me today.

Secondly, when he loves, he loves hard. There’s nothing this man wouldn’t do for me. In fact, he’s spent 20 years doing nothing for me. See what you have to look forward to [Bride]?

And finally, he’s a handsome fellow. Although standing up here looking at him next to [Bride], you could have done a bit better, hun.”

3 Examples of Heartfelt Best Man Speeches

If causing a riot of laughs isn’t your style, or you want to instill just how much this day means to you and your family, go with something more serious. Your heartfelt best man speech can make just as big of an impact with a heartfelt sentiment as it can with chuckles from the crowd.

The “Thankful” Speech

“Hello everyone, it’s such a pleasure to be here tonight as [Groom’s] best man. And I want to begin by saying what an honor it is that I was chosen to stand by your side today. You’ve always been someone that I looked up to, and I am just beyond grateful that I get to share in this moment with you and [Bride].

[Groom] is someone that I’ve come to care for greatly over the years, and I am so happy that he’s found someone to share his life with and start a family with. [Groom] has always been my right hand throughout the biggest moments of my life, and I can’t wait to be able to watch everything beautiful unfold for the two of you. Cheers to a lifetime of happiness!”

The “Smart Move” Speech

“There’s an old saying about friendship that reads, “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them,” and goodness that couldn’t be more true for me and my boy, [Groom].

I could go into all the funny stories that include some of that stupidity, but instead, I’d rather focus on all the smart moves he’s made. His friendships, the relationship he has with his family, his career, it’s all a reflection of the incredible man he’s become. But really, the smartest move he’s made is marrying you, [Bride].

Let’s toast to the best decision [Groom’s] ever made. I wish you a lifetime of love, happiness, and success.”

The “She Was The One” Speech

“Ladies and gentleman, thank you all for coming out tonight to celebrate the wedding of two people we all love, [Bride] & [Groom]!

When I first met [Bride], I knew that she was the woman [Groom] would end up marrying. Even if it hadn’t dawned on him quite yet, it was obvious to everyone around just how smitten he was with her. They talk about a bride’s glow, but this man was shining since the moment he met [Bride]. He changed for the better without realizing it. And we all could see it.

He couldn’t stop talking about her. We’d go out with the boys, and [Bride’s] name would be brought up every two minutes. So when he came to me to tell me that he would be proposing, my only response was, “Well, it’s about time!”

There’s something special about these two. They go together without forcing it. They love each other without fighting it. And they care about each other without thinking about it. She was the one from the very beginning [Groom], and we’re all so happy to be able to take part in your big day. Cheers!”

3 Examples of Upbeat Best Man Speeches

An upbeat best-man speech will keep the celebratory vibe of the evening going without too many tears or glares from Grandma when the jokes go too far south. Check out our easy list of lighthearted cheers that relay your love of the couple and appreciation for your spot as best man.

The “Great Flame” Speech

“I’m so happy to see that everyone is having such a great time tonight! [Bride] & [Groom] really know how to throw a party, don’t they?

They also know how to light a fire. Dante once said, “A great flame follows a little spark,” and we’ve all seen that spark since the very beginning. And tonight, we see the fire.

Cheers to the happy couple, may the flame burn long, and sparks continue to fly!”

The “Brother” Speech

“[Groom] is my brother, so naturally, I have the long list of blackmail quality ammunition to scatter throughout this speech tonight. Don’t get scared, though [Groom], I’ll keep 2005 under wraps and not mention it.

But seriously, when we were younger, we’d do everything together. Attached at the hip, even when we were in a fight, it wasn’t until college that we parted and went down our separate paths. We grew up, started our careers, and he found [Bride]. And I couldn’t be more thankful for you [Bride] and couldn’t be happier for the two of you.

We’re gaining such a beautiful new family member today. You look stunning tonight, sister. Congratulations, I wish you a lifetime of love and happiness. Cheers!”

The “Great Man” Speech”

“What a night it has been! Will everyone please raise their glasses as I toast to [Bride] & [Groom]?

Although my first thought today was, if I’m the best man here, why is [Groom] getting to marry [Bride]?

On a more serious note, [Groom] you’re not only a great man, you really are the best man for [Bride]. And she is the best woman for you. I could sing both your praises all evening, but since I’m a terrible singer, I’ll leave that up to the band and allow everyone to keep their eardrums intact. I’m honored to be by your side today [Groom]; I wish you many years of happiness. Salute!”

Short Best Man Speech Examples

A great best man speech doesn’t have to be long to pack a punch. Add a clever one-liner with a few thoughtful sentiments, and you can get the job done while making it memorable. Here are some incredible examples of short best man speeches .

“Good evening, everyone! Let’s lift our glasses and toast to the newlyweds!

Don’t worry; your arms won’t get tired. My speech is going to be like a mini-skirt: long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to hold your attention.

[Groom], thank you for being such a stable force in my life, a great friend and an even better brother. [Bride], I think we can all agree that you’re stunning this evening and [Groom] won the lottery.

[Bride] & [Groom], tonight we celebrate you. We all wish you a lifetime of happiness, love, health, success, and laughter. May you continue to find humor in the bad and appreciation for the good. May your friendship continue to grow throughout all the years to come. Cheers!”

Medium Best Man Speech Examples

Of course, you can always go the medium-length route. If you’re looking for a best man speech that covers all of the necessary points but gets you out of there before you start to sweat, try out something like this below!

Witty Best Man Speech

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. My name is X, and I was chosen as [Groom’s] best man. Now, the more I think about that title, the more uncomfortable I get. It sort of implies that [Groom] has lots and lots of men, and I’ve been dubbed the favorite of the bunch. If it wasn’t for [Bride], I’d be watching my back later tonight but also a bit flattered, admittedly.

[Groom] and I grew up together. But we weren’t actually friends until we hit high school. And we didn’t become best friends until our 20’s. He needed to grow up a bit before I could take our relationship to the next level.

On a more serious note, this man is one of the highest-quality people I know. You’ve snagged yourself a good one here [Bride]. Hardworking, clever, and he’s a handsome devil too; I have no doubt that he’ll be a great husband and an even better father.

[Bride] balances his awesomeness out quite well. She’s beautiful, obviously. But getting to know her over the years, I’ve found her to be just as hardworking but also an amazing example of what it is to have a kind, giving heart. I watched [Groom] change for the better when they started dating. She softened him. And now look at them; they’re happy, wide-eyed newlyweds that we’re toasting to tonight.

[Groom], I’ll leave you with a little bit of advice that my father gave me the morning of my wedding.

“A real man never stops trying to show a woman how much she means to him, even after he’s got her.” 

I wish you years and years of happiness and love. Never stop going the extra mile for one another. When you feel yourself getting a bit too comfortable and complacent, remember that quote. Spice things up, do small things for one another, and always remind the other of how much you love them.

Cheers to you!”

Long Best Man Speech Examples

Finally, there is the long best man speech. This is a great move for someone extremely close to the groom, or even both the groom and the bride. A brother with lots of stories or a best friend that has seen a lifetime of highs and lows, you can capture it nicely in a lengthy toast to the happy couple.

“If you have no idea who I am yet, I’m [Groom’s] best friend. I’ve been around for a while, about 20 years now. So, naturally, I can tell you a lot about him. He’s handsome, witty, charismatic, intelligent … oh wait … wrong wedding.

There’s a rule, you know, there’s a certain bit of wedding etiquette we guests have to follow. No woman should look better than the bride. And no man should look better than the groom. I’d like to personally thank the ushers for abiding by that rule to the fullest. I’d also like to extend my thanks for showing up sober. You did a great job today, fellas.

Let me go ahead and get some thank you’s out of the way as well. To all of the guests, I want to personally thank you for taking the time to travel here tonight. I know some of you had to take planes or get in the car for several hours to make it and, on behalf of the lovely couple too, we’re so grateful. For everyone who helped to get this party going tonight, from the catering staff to the wedding planners, your professionalism has been superb; thank you. To all of the bridesmaids and the rest of the groomsmen, thanks for helping make everything go off without a hitch today. We nailed it. To the bride and groom’s parents, thank you for raising these two amazing people we’re all here to celebrate tonight. None of our lives would be the same without them, and that’s all thanks to you. And lastly, [Groom] wanted me to thank [Bride] for showing up today. It means more than you know.

[Groom] and I truly do go way back. We go back all the way to middle school. Sitting in homeroom, we watched as the 7th-grade wish list was being passed around the classroom. The problem with this scenario was that we were both in 8th grade, and somehow both ended up sitting in the wrong class with no one that looked familiar for nearly an entire period. We were soulmates.

And for the past two decades, he’s been by my side for every wrong move, every high, every low, and all the biggest moments. I’m so grateful that I was able to be here tonight to celebrate alongside not only [Groom] but [Bride] too.

Their relationship is something to admire. It’s always been easy with the two of them. And I believe that when something is meant to be, there doesn’t need to be a fight. You can see how easy it is for them to love one another, and it’s something that we should all strive for one day, to find a person that is so easy to love you do it without even being conscious of it. [Groom] wakes up in the morning with his heart beating, his lungs breathing, and his entire body-loving [Bride]. It just is. And that’s a beautiful thing.

The night [Groom] came home after his first date with [Bride], he wouldn’t shut up. I was studying for midterms, and he came in with the goofiest, biggest grin on his face. Actually, he almost looked guilty of something. I asked him, “What did you do?”

You want to know what his response was [Bride]?

He said, “I just fell in love.”

And the rest is history. I’ve been saving that tidbit of knowledge for years now. I didn’t want my man to lose any of his street cred, but the jig is up friend, you’re a huge romantic, sap, and we all love you for it.

Now it’s time to raise our glasses and toast to the future of this newly-married couple. May your lives be filled with adventure, overwhelming amounts of movie dates and Friday night pizza, children playing in the backyard, beach vacations, love, laughter, and a blissful marriage through and through. Cheers!”

10 Introductions for your Best Man Speech

Get your speech started eloquently with one of these introductions. Use some of these ideas to jumpstart your writing process and personalize it to your liking. Welcome the guests in style and calm your nerves right from the start.

• “First, allow me to introduce myself. I’m [Best Man], and it’s both an honor and a pleasure to be standing beside [Groom] today as his best man this evening.”
• “Ladies and gentleman, I’d like to formally welcome you to the wedding of [Bride] and [Groom]. Thank you so much for coming out and celebrating with us tonight.”
• “Good evening, everyone! It’s now the point in the evening where some of us have to get up out of our seats and make fools of ourselves. Looks like I’m up first.”
• “Firstly, I’d like to personally thank you all for coming and celebrating such a special occasion with us.”
• “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen; I want to thank you all for coming such a long way to celebrate with us. For those that don’t know me, I’m [Best Man] [Groom’s] brother/best friend/etc.”
• “Hello everyone! For those that haven’t bought me a drink yet tonight, my name is [Best Man], and I’m a fan of Jack and Coke.”
• “Hello ladies and gentlemen, I’m [Best Man], and I was chosen to be [Groom’s] best man tonight. Or I was the best he could do. Or I was just the only one that would agree to do it.”
• “For those that don’t know me, allow me to introduce myself. I’m [Best Man]. And for those that do know me, I apologize.”
• “I’ve got to say it, ladies and gentleman. Does [Bride] not look absolutely stunning tonight? [Groom] you look alright.”
• “Good evening, everyone! Before I begin my duty to give [Groom] an uncomfortable, embarrassing few minutes, I want to take the time to say thank you for coming out and celebrating tonight.”

10 One-Liners for Your Best Man Speech

Add a joke or two into the mix of your best man speech and get everyone relaxed and chuckling. This part of the evening is all about light-hearted laughs, and the best man is the go-to choice for getting the party started. Here are 10 one-liners and jokes you can scatter throughout your best man toast.

• “I heard there was a bet going around about how long the best man speech was going to be. I went in with a 20 on 45 minutes, so get comfortable, everyone.”
• “The time has come for the groom to get quite uncomfortable in his seat and maybe even shed a tear or two. That’s right; I’m about to hand him the drinks bill.”
• “[Groom] is the kind of guy you don’t have to worry introducing the parents too. That’s why [Bride] didn’t worry about doing it until today.”
• “As best man, it is my duty to start telling you all about all of the embarrassing things that have happened to [Groom] in all [x] years of his life up until the happiest day of his life until I started this speech.”
• “[Bride], you are a wonderful woman who deserves a wonderful husband. And I won’t stop until I get to the bottom of what’s happened here.”
• “[Groom] has so many wonderful attributes. He’s charming, handsome, witty …. Ummm … I’m sorry [Groom] I’m having trouble reading your handwriting.”
• “I’m quite nervous. Just ask the people sitting at my table. It truly is possible to smell fear, isn’t it, folks?”
• “I’m sure you all can agree that it’s been an emotional day. Even the cake is in tiers!”
• “I was told that the best man speech needed to last for as long as the groom takes to make love. Raise your glasses, everyone!”
• “Everyone, let me just preface this by letting you know how nervous I am. I’m really not used to public speaking, and when I get nervous, I’ve been known to mispronounce some of my words.”

10 Toasts for Your Best Man Speech

And finally, end your best man toast with an uplifting quote or wish for the happy couple. Toast to the newlyweds and do it in a way that’s both memorable and personal with our help.

• “Now, please join me in raising your glasses as we toast to the Bride and the Groom. I give your Mr. and Mrs. [x]!”
• “I would like to wish you a lifetime of health, wealth, happiness, and love. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s toast to the bride and groom.”
• “What an honor it has been to serve as [Groom’s] best man. And it’s even more of an honor to ask you all to join me in toasting the newlyweds. Cheers!”
• “Allow me to leave you with this, “there is only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved.” May your happiness last a lifetime. We toast to you.”
• “Now remember this. There are two things that will make a marriage last: a sense of humor and selective hearing. Cheers!”
• “Ladies and gentleman, let’s toast to the bride and groom. And leave off with a thought from John Lennon and Sir Paul McCartney, “Love is all you need.”
• “Let us all wish [Bride] and [Groom] years and years of happiness. May you be friends to each other only as lovers can, and may you love each other only as best friends can.”
• “Congratulations on this big step in your lives. Let’s all raise our glasses and toast to the happy couple. May years of happiness and amazing memories await you!”
• “For this is [Bride] and [Groom’s] time. And it’s time to raise your glass high in the air. To the bride and groom! We wish you a long and happy marriage.”
• “To my very best friend and brother, and to his beautiful new wife, we salute you! Now let’s dance, drink and have a slice of cake!”

Easy Best Man Speech Template to Follow

If you’re starting from scratch, use this fool-proof, easy best man speech template. Follow along as you fill in your own quips and memories throughout your speech. We’ve already inspired you with different examples and even some one-liners to fit inside; now it’s time to start writing!

• Welcome the guests
• Talk about you and the groom’s history / Introduce yourself
• Add in a bit about the groom’s personality, character, and accomplishments
• Speak about the bride and them as a couple
• Toast to a happy marriage

10 Things Not To Say In Your Best Man Speech

It’s common knowledge, and expected, for the best man to give the groom a bit of a hard time. Teasing and sharing embarrassing stories are all a part of the fun. But, some things should be avoided completely. When writing out your best man speech, these are 10 things to not ever say or include in the spiel.

• Leave out the ex-girlfriends – or ex-wives. If there’s an ex at all, don’t mention it.
• Nix the curse words. Phrases involving any of those four-letter creations should be left out.
• Never, under any circumstances, embarrass the bride. She should never be a part of the punchline.
• Don’t mention anything about the bachelor party, especially if it could get him in trouble. Leave it in the past.
• Dig on the groom a bit but don’t dig on marriage. Your jokes shouldn’t downplay what a big, GREAT step this is for them.
• Don’t dig on the in-laws either – on either side. Besides, they’re most likely footing the bill for the entire event.
• “Drunken night” shenanigans can be left out of your walk down memory lane as well.
• A long list of “umms” or “likes” shouldn’t take center stage.
• Compliment the bride but don’t be creepy or cross the line.
• Juvenile jokes like, “We all thought he was gay for so long!” should be left back in middle school.

7 Tips for Writing Your Speech

When it comes time to sit down and write out your speech, take a big, deep breath, you want to sprinkle in some creativity, originality, and some hard work too. It’s okay if you don’t finish it in your first sitting. Allow yourself to become inspired, follow these 10 tips for making writing your best man easy, and you’ll have it ready in no time!

• Give yourself time. Don’t wait until the night before. You’ll allow your nerves to take over and may get writer’s block if you start writing the last minute. Choose a night when you’re relaxed and let your creativity flow. Try writing out a rough draft a few months before the wedding before you get caught up in all the pre-event activities.
• Pay attention to your intro. If you start out strong, whether with a great story or a funny one-liner, you’ll have everyone’s attention throughout the entire speech.
• Write it down. Write it down. Write it down. Yes, this is about writing your speech, but we also want you to make sure you practice it and have it on paper the day of, just in case.
• Don’t forget a joke . Even if you want to go with a speech that’s a bit more serious and heartfelt, add a few quips or jokes about the groom in there. It helps break up the emotion and provides comic relief.
• Have a Plan B up your sleeve. Whether it’s a joke or turning to the bride and shining a light on how stunning she looks, plan for a misplaced speech or a case of stage fright.
• Take a walk down memory lane . Extended family and friends may not know who you are. Let them know and let them in on why you were chosen as the best man.
• Thank everyone. Finally, you must extend a grateful hand. It’s a nice gesture from the bar staff to the bridesmaids, and it will plump up your speech.

The best man speech format is pretty straightforward. The first part of the speech is geared towards getting guest attention. Ideally, the best man should have a great one-liner to open up the best man speech. See our best man one-liner examples for some inspiration. The next step is to introduce yourself personally and explain who you are to those who don’t know you. Make light of the occasion, maybe talk about the location, the idea of marriage, or something regarding the ceremony. These are all excellent opportunities for amusing asides.

The next part of the best man speech structure is focusing on the groom. To be specific, this is the chance to poke some fun at the groom. Talk about your relationship with the groom, offering guests a funny and entertaining version of how you first met, your first impressions, and why you’re still good friends now. Remember, it can’t all be a comedy, you need to something nice about the groom.

Next, it’s time for the bride. Don’t poke fun at her. Talk about how gorgeous she looks, how much you like her as a friend. This is an excellent time in the speech to talk about why the newly married couple will be so great together.

At this stage, you’re coming towards the end of the speech. Get ready for your toast (see example best man toasts ). You might want to give the bride and groom some sage advice, potentially an amusing observation about marriage. Finish up with a light-hearted toast to the bride and groom.

How To Write a Best Man Speech

Start by writing down thoughts freely about the bride and groom and your relationship with them.

• How do you know them?
• Why did they choose you as the best man?
• How would you describe each of them? What are the first five adjectives that come to mind?
• What was the groom like before he met the bride? How has he changed knowing her?
• How did they meet? How did the groom tell you about her?
• You may wish to think about marriage advice you’ve received or have learned if you are married.
• Are there any particularly amusing anecdotes that illustrate who the bride and/or groom is?
• Read through this gallery of sample classic wedding toasts and highlight any that seem particularly appropriate to you.

Once you’ve done that, it’s time to craft those ideas into a heartfelt and entertaining toast. You should have a great framework with which to work.

There are some easy-to-follow tips when preparing your best man speech. Follow these for a seamless and great best man speech:

Be Prepared & Invest Time: Plan your speech ahead of time. Write it down, get ideas and start thinking about it early. There is nothing worse than a best man who walks into the wedding thinking he is going to speak off the cuff. It is evident when you do that, and it usually sucks, so don’t.

It Is About Your Friend & His Wife: It is so easy to come up with jokes and poke fun at your close buddy for 10 minutes. That’s no fun for the rest of the guests, and while you’ll enjoy it, it doesn’t focus on what’s important, which is that your buddy just married the woman of his dreams. Think of stories from you and your buddy’s past that show what a great guy he is, and remember that the speech’s goal is to celebrate the couple and make them look good.

Stay Sober(ish) : Liquid courage is great in moderation. Sure, have a few drinks to calm your nerves, but don’t go crazy early and be messy for your best man speech. It is a pretty simple rule, but just make sure you’re not sloppy drunk.

Open Strong: There is no shame in using a one-liner to get things going. It is essential that you have guests excited, and you build the confidence to deliver an excellent best man speech. Once you have your opening line down, immediately thank all the guests who made the day possible. Single out the bride and groom’s parents by name, and offer a toast to them for not only putting on the wedding but for raising two fine people. Start your speech like this, and you’ll be the best man everybody loves.

Be Yourself (Unless You’re an A**hole) : No need to get formal or try to be someone you’re not. And there’s no need to follow these instructions exactly either. Simply use them as a guide and be yourself. Let it flow naturally. Use your natural voice and mannerisms. Make it personal and sincere and say things from the heart, and you should be golden.

Tell A Nice Story & Make A Connection: The ideal way to structure a best man speech is to find a connection between a story about your friend and your support for the couple. Share a story about how your friend would always lament that he would never find a woman with x,y, and z qualities, but how he finally did in his new bride. Or tell a story about the moment when you were hanging out with the couple, and you realized your friend had found his match. Another good angle is to talk about the way that the bride and groom balance one another.

Don’t Talk About The Groom’s Exes : Keep your speech on topics that aren’t controversial, offensive, or embarrassing. Don’t talk about the groom’s past girlfriends. This is an easy tip to follow; just use some common sense.

No Inside Jokes: This is a crucial rule, yet very hard to execute. You and your friend have stories, inside jokes, and things only the two of you (or a select few of your friends) know about. Now isn’t the time to bring that stuff up. Think about the audience and ensure that whatever you talk about is something that most people can relate to.

Short is Sweet: Everybody hates long speeches. There will be many speeches, and the best man speech usually is last, so guests will be eager for you to finish so they can grab another drink or have a dance. Aim for no more than 7 minutes, max.

End With A Toast & Quote : Don’t reinvent the wheel. There are hundreds of wonderful quotes about marriage, love, and weddings, not to count the Irish toasts you can use to end your speech (we’ve assembled some example toast quotes you can use). Find one that wraps the toast up nicely and leaves people feeling the warm and fuzzies.

It is essential to be aware of the things you need to do to deliver an excellent best man speech and things that you need to stay away from at all costs. There aren’t that many, but you better pay attention. You must understand that best man speech is a very popular source of entertainment for weddings today. The more suitable you can make the best man speech for the occasion, the better.

DON’T: Milk it and make it about you. Remember, it is about the bride and groom, not you. A great best man speech should be less than 7 minutes and should focus on the couple.

DO: Limit Anecdotes. If you do decide that an anecdote is worth relating – and some definitely are – make it the centerpiece of your speech, not one of several stories that get lost in the mix. Also, only use stories that are relatable to most people.

DO: Be funny, but not that funny. The best man gets to poke some fun at the groom, but remember, this is his day. Don’t destroy him in front of 200 people. Balance friendly digs with praise and well-wishes. A good best man speech is all about balance.

DON’T: Mention Ex Girlfriends. Yep, the second time we’re mentioning this one on the same page. There’s a reason. Stay away. If you can’t see why talking about your buddy’s exes on his wedding day might upset some people (not least the bride), then you’re an idiot.

DO: Compliment the bride. No making fun of the bride other than to point out her poor choice in companion as a husband. It is REALLY her day, so don’t mess with her. This is how best men go missing and get hurt badly.

DON’T: Swear . The language you and your buddies use when telling stories may be appropriate over beers at a BBQ, but not at a wedding. You’re addressing a lot of guests from a wide range of backgrounds and ages. This isn’t the time to push it when it comes to language.

DON’T: Read from a piece of paper the whole time. Practice your speech, learn it and get comfortable. Learning your speech may not be your idea of fun, but it will make all the difference in how the guests perceive you. Can’t remember the whole speech? Then work on the stuff that really makes a difference, the opening line and the closing toast.

DO: Go out with a bang . It is pretty easy to get the opening line right, but you need to be ready to go out hard as the speech ends. It’s your closing comments that people will remember the clearest. Speak up, stand tall and deliver that final toast with gusto.

DO: Choose a short and sweet story . Don’t tell 5-minute stories. If it can’t be said in less than 30 seconds, toss it out. Stories that require a lot of background (no matter how funny or relevant) just aren’t going to keep people’s attention.

Video Examples of Some Great Best Man Speeches

While researching best man speeches, a friend recommended we check out Youtube. Smart idea! We found loads of great best man speeches that were terrific examples of what to do. Everybody has their delivery and approach so keep that in mind.

One of the Funniest Best Man Wedding Speeches Ever!

We’re still laughing at this best man speech we found online. We are definitely stealing some lines from this one.

Our Favorite Best Man Speech Ever – Not Traditional!

The sheer creativity and uniqueness of this best man speech are worth watching. It is a long video but well worth it. This is how you get over 13 million views on YouTube!

How to Get a Standing Ovation

CJ Abeleda delivers a heart-warming, funny, and emotional best man speech for the groom of his only sister that culminates in tears, laughter, and a standing ovation.

It is rare that somebody unprepared can pull off an epic best man speech like this guy. I know I couldn’t do it if I wasn’t prepared, which is why this is super-impressive.

Hilarious Best Man Speech – Irish Guy at Italian Wedding

Matt Gunn gives a funny Best Man speech at his best friend Paul’s wedding. When I say Irish and Italian, I mean their heritage. Very funny.

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12 Clever Best Man Speech Hacks

• 17th Nov, 2021

Jump to the good bits

Introduction.

A Groom can ask two big questions when it comes to marriage. The first, “Will you… marry me?” and the second, “Will you… be my Best Man?” The first question is often more terrifying for the Groom and the second is always more terrifying for the Best Man! Why? The Best Man’s Speech of course!

Whether you’re nervous or just looking for some quick tips to perfect your performance, you could probably use some quick Best Man speech hacks to boost your confidence.

Over the course of drafting 4 Best Man speeches, I have accumulated a large amount of notes which I feel contain the building blocks for a successful Best Man speech. Most importantly I have delivered the speeches, read the room reactions, listened to feedback, and taken more notes (over the years I have also listened to many other Best Man speeches in the same regard – and witnessed some super successes and some epic failures).  

Most men will have the honour of being Best Man once or twice in their life, so there is no room for trial and error! Fortunately, I can share a few really beneficial Best Man ‘speech hacks’ that I have picked up along the way. These are some of the most important tips a Best Man can receive as they have largely come from experience. 

Top Best Man speech hacks

• Keep your speech in around the 10 minutes mark. If it goes over due to crowd interaction or gift-giving that’s fine. Consensus seems to be that 7/8 minutes is the average. If you want your speech to be remembered, you should go for slightly above average. That’s the safe zone. 
• For funny childhood stories , ask the Groom’s friends or siblings. This way you get to take credit for a funny anecdote without having to think one up!  
• Another ‘story outsourcing’ idea is to ask the Bride if she has any funny stories about the Groom. In all likelihood she will have a number of them. For example, how they met, how he proposed etc.
• A handy and effective trick to help ease your nerves in advance of your speech is to announce the Bride and Groom into the room. This will be your first time on the mic and it’s a less-pressurised way of speaking to the room. Also, remember that you will be Master of Ceremonies. Your big moment essentially starts as soon as you pick up the mic. You will be introducing the speakers before you. These are usually the father of the Bride first, then the Groom. Make sure you have something funny to say about each of these people. An early laugh is always good to set the tone and build your confidence.
• Use flash cards . This is by far the best way to hold your speech notes. Do not use A4 pages, if you are in any way nervous these pages will start to shake and your next point may be hard to find on the page. Yes, I would encourage you to write your full speech out on an A4 pad or typed into Word and printed out for rehearsal, but the only thing you should have when standing up at the top table is your mic and flashcards. Flash cards are small, solid, professional looking, and easy to follow. Limit yourself to 10-15 flash cards. Number and title each flash card, and bullet point the key points you want to speak about. 
• Reference something that happened that day . Either make something up that happened in private or reference a funny/notable part of ceremony that the guests can all relate too. This will make your speech feel less-rehearsed.
• Make sure you have a drink ready to toast the Bride and Groom at the end of your speech. It will look extremely awkward if you attempt to make a toast with no drink close to hand.
• Name-check some guests in the crowd. The Groom doesn’t have to be the only one who is the butt of your jokes. Try to use his friends as punch lines, this will get the best reaction from the audience.
• Remember to give thanks to the Bridal Party. This is a small and simple part of your speech but if it’s forgotten it will come across as disrespectful. 
• If the Bride‘s family are not native English speakers, then it would be great to be able to deliver a joke or toast in their native tongue . I’m not saying try to learn Spanish in one week, but try to learn how to say a few words. It shows you have made the effort and is a nice gesture. 
• Reference the other speeches that go before you. There will be material in there, forgotten mentions, failed joke attempts. The Best Man speech is the recap, the final word, the showstopper.
• Finish on an emotional story . One that highlights the Bride and Groom. Nothing caps a Best Man’s speech like a touching outro.

Get the Best Man Speech Guidebook

If you are thinking about your upcoming Best Man duties or need to draft your speech in a hurry you can check out the book the Best Man Speech Guidebook for even more tips and a full list of Best Man speech hacks. It contains the important do’s and don’ts in wedding speech etiquette, some great one-liners, visual gag options, but most importantly a clear speech structure and tried and tested speech templates.

• The Best Man guide

For more advice and ideas for all of your Best Man duties, check out our Ultimate Best Man Guide page.

More Best Man speech advice

• Best Man Speech: 13 Must Do’s
• Best Man Speech: 10 Absolute Don’ts
• 20 Unique Best Man Speech One Liners
• 3 Ideas For Best Man Speech Visual Gags
• How To Write A Best Man Speech: Part 1
• How To Write A Best Man Speech: Part 2
• Short Best Man Speech Template
• Funny Best Man Speech Template

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In This Article

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Best Man Speech Jokes That Makes Your Speech Brilliant

Via Unsplash

The best man is a very important feature at any wedding event. His speech and jokes can set the tone for the night, and this is why best-man speech jokes are so important. If you need some inspiration for the right words to get your audience laughing, below are our expert tips and tricks of the trade.

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Giving a good best-man speech and cracking funny best-man speech jokes is exciting. Find helpful tips, outlines, and ideas for a good best-man wedding speech.

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Great Best Man Jokes Ideas

Cormac Lally has been writing speeches professionally since 2013. His clients include professional sportsmen, TV and radio personalities, politicians and plumbers. He shares his expert thoughts about best-man jokes:

“There is nothing as cringe as the recycled best-man jokes. They are often excessively vulgar and have no place at a top table, where your family and friends have gathered to celebrate a wedding. Worse still, in today’s social media age, your embarrassing and low-brow effort may not only be confined to the hotel ballroom and the assembled guests but could land you on the front page of news outlets worldwide, as an eternal reminder of your oafishness and thoughtlessness. This is personified in reality by Justin Johansen’s best man’s speech disaster at Pippa Middleton’s Royal wedding to James Matthews. He may as well have sung a rugby song like Frigging in the Rigging.

If you want to impress your guests, be honest, and have integrity, there are many childhood and adolescent stories about the groom, that have universal appeal to all ages at a wedding. You can give the groom a good roasting, but you must also be complementary, remember you are his right-hand man, his ambassador, you are there to represent him and all that he stands for.”

Powerful one-liners and jokes

One-liners are effective best-man jokes for speech, only if you use them well. Unless you are a comedian, do not try being overly funny because it may backfire. Comedy is natural.

A list of some ideas:

• Tell the audience a funny story about the newlyweds.
• Share with the audience a funny and embarrassing story about the groom.
• If you’re married, share amusing stories of the struggles in marriage.
• Let the audience know a funny habit that the groom cannot do away with.
• If he’s untidy:

Back in college when stayed together, I felt like I had a toddler around. I’d keep his socks together and he’d always misplace them after using. I had to label a spot for socks in our closet, so he’d know where to drop them.

• If he’s a punctual man:

Derek was such a punctual guy in college. So punctual that, while we were waking up, he was already out the door. He eventually kept our seats. Now, his colleagues say they can’t keep up with him. He’s always the first at work.

• When he’s a deep sleeper:

He is naturally a deep sleeper. He sleeps so deep that when we had a sleepover at some friends, we carried him all the way to the pool and he was still sleeping.

• For the quiet ones:

Mike is so quiet that sometimes, we check to be sure that he’s alive and has not gone mute.

• For a highly intelligent friend:

A-ha! My days in college was awesome because of Victor. He is the smart one and I’m the lazy one. Victor is so intelligent that, I don’t prepare for exams. I wait to rehearse with Victor and go write the same in the exams. Guess what? I passed!

70+ Emotional And Romantic Wedding Quotes

Great best man speech examples.

Being a best man is not merely about organizing the stag and delivering a speech; rather, it entails a role that deems you worthy of trust, responsibility, and, above all, honor. Cormac Lally , a seasoned speechwriter since 2013, stresses the gravity of this responsibility, cautioning that the words spoken cannot be retracted. He advises prospective best men to give thoughtful consideration to their words, seeking help if unsure of content or in need of guidance.

Funny best-man speech

“Distinguished guests, can I get your attention for a few minutes? I want to make a toast to Brad and Penelope. Wow! This is really happening. It’s like a dream. When Brad told me to be the best man for his wedding, I was honestly baffled. I felt it was a setup. I mean, Brad knows he owes me one, for every time I took the heat for him. He knows I can’t wait to take my pound of flesh. So why ask me to be the best man? You know, I and Brian have been best friends for 20 years. My name is Henry by the way. I can remember him being big and a bully. He beats me up but would beat up anyone who dares to touch me. He took my bicycle, my toys, and ruined my treehouse. His atrocities are too numerous, and now he’s getting married to an innocent queen. While in college, he always took my shine. With the girls, with the sports, and with the books. He is that good. We have so many memories together but Brian is one thing- loyal. He pushed me and fought for me when necessary. He’s why I never gave up, and I’m here today. He goes all out for the ones he loves. That’s why when Brian introduced me to Pen, I definitely knew she was special. It takes a lot to get Brian. But once you do, he sticks. I also knew she was in deep trouble. Brian is a pest, he will even offer to put you to bed. But who wouldn’t fall for such a woman? She’s so beautiful and her laughter is contagious. You two are a perfect fit. They say marriage can’t survive without laughter and I don’t believe there will be a shortage of that with these two. The clown has met his match. If anyone tells you that you’re a clown, smile and say; who’s got the last laugh now? Let’s raise our glass to Brian and Penelope! Here’s to a lifetime of love and laughter!”

Heartfelt best man speech example

pasion_eventos via Instagram

“The most genuine importance of marriage is the enchantment of being truly loved by one individual. You two have met up to share your lives and understand your fantasies. Today you are a couple. This is the very first moment of an incredible experience and I’m honored to witness it. Take advantage of all the chances to help each other. I toast to you and I wish you a long marriage. One filled with affection and joy.”

Short best-man speech excerpt

“What an extraordinary day to get hitched! Marriage conveys new duties. Prisca, do not contend with Frank. He is the Lord of your home. You should dress and look in a way that satisfies frank. Always prepare his dinner and allow him to spend time with friends sometimes. Do these little things and your marriage will be a haven of satisfaction. Prisca, bill adores you, and I see how he looks at you. Stay in love, you two. Congrats to the both of you!”

Wedding speech for a brother

jeromecole via Instagram

“Hello everyone, I am Brad; best man and sibling to the man getting married. Standing as Sam’s best man is a testament to him that I’m the best. Penelope, I want to thank you especially, for saving my brother. Up until he met you, he worked like a bull. I lost count of how many holidays he cut short, because of work. Now, he doesn’t mind spending some time in bed with you. My brother is deeply in love with you, and it’s a delight to see. I am happy that something as beautiful as you can take his attention. You two are so good together. You are just made for each other and laughter will not cease with you. I will witness your 25th and 50th wedding anniversary. Congratulations to you two. A toast to Sam and Pen!”

Best Man Speech Magic: Crafting Words that Resonate and Inspire

Helpful tips on how to easily prepare a best man speech.

chelseawhitephotog

• Prepare early; it soothes the nerves As the best man, you will be at your busiest from the month leading down to the wedding day. At that point, a lot of things will be on your mind, with more work to do. From rentals to tux fittings, to getting the groom ready. This is the worst time to plan your speech because you won’t be at your best. Your speech for the wedding should be well prepared 3 to 2 months before the wedding. Early preparation saves you a lot of mishaps.
• Practice makes perfect To make a good delivery of your best man speech, practice often. Practice until you don’t have to use paper and until your stage fright is gone. Practice until you don’t see the audience. Do it in front of your mirror as many times as you can. If you have some best-man speech jokes, include them, so that your audience can vet them. Make a video of you delivering your speech. Be watchful for speech viruses and your mannerisms. Do this till you lock down that speech.
• Pen it down Regardless of how great your memory may be, we advise you to put your best man speech on paper. Not only does it help for easy rehearsal but it also serves as a backup for your memory. Stress or anxiety can make you forget everything you are prepared for. Putting your speech down in bullet points on paper can save you an embarrassment. It happens to the best of us.
• Add your signature touch The wedding is about the couple and you are at the wedding for the groom. It will be gracious and more interesting if you add some personal touch to your best man speech jokes. Get creative with tweaking the jokes. Tailor it to suit him, instead of telling a general joke. This will give more life to your wedding speech.
• Breathe life into the speech Giving your best man speech in a monotone like you were perhaps forced to the wedding, is a no-no. Add some life, be excited and show it. The guests won’t be quite excited about your speech if you do not show excitement while giving the speech. Avoid boring everyone and put yourself into it. If the hype seems to die down, take the attention back to the couple or say some best-man jokes for speech. Compliment them.
• Be Unpredictable Guests will not enjoy a one-way traffic type of speech for too long. Crack up your guests with your versatility. Hold their attention by making them guess what dimension you will go to or what you will say next. Add best-man speech jokes for humor, a little romance here, and some suspense there. Like an interesting stage play, they will hang on interested till the end.
• Keep the jokes clean Make all your best man speech jokes about the groom. Do not engage her in the jokes at any cost. She may not take it well and could feel embarrassed. No matter how close you are to the couple, you’re the groom’s right-hand man for the wedding. Focus on him. Keep the jokes nice and simple but most importantly make everybody happy.
• Always make sure you know your audience This is very crucial, especially if you will be giving some best-man speech jokes. Understand your audience, to know how to phrase your speech. Are they liberal or conservative? Check if they are mainly made up of youngsters or older folks. This will affect the way your best man’s speech will flow through. You can’t have a situation where the older folks getting uncomfortable because of things you said.
• Know your rightful obligations As the best man, you’re in charge of taking the good wishes of everyone absent from the wedding. You will also acknowledge everyone on behalf of the couple. It is of major importance that everyone who deserves a shout-out is well acknowledged. From the groom to the guests, and bridesmaids down to the bartender and DJ. Do not forget, as it will rule out the opportunity of anyone feeling slighted.
• Exit with an ovation Have a clear-cut line for the end of your best man speech. This is because your speech will come towards the end of the wedding. A time when everyone is warming up for the after-party. End with some humor and a toast to the new couple . That clearly defines that your speech is over and the wedding is almost over.

Best Tips for Maid Of Honor Speech 2024: Samples & Ideas

How to write – best man speech outline.

Our best man speech outline is a complete guide to creating an awe-inspiring best man wedding speech. This outline is a timely saver for those who dread creating a speech from the start. Make use of the template below. You can tweak it to suit the type of speech you want to give or the wedding style you’re gracing. Take out the ones you don’t need.

• Let the audience know your name and relationship with the groom.
• Open with a killer one-liner.
• Thank the previous speakers.
• Congratulations the new couple.
• Shower your friend’s spouse with compliments and let the audience know she is an angel.
• Poke some funny best-man speech jokes at the groom.
• Readout messages and well wishes from the absent guests, if any.
• Close with a romantic, a poetic, a few famous lines, or a poem.
• Propose a toast

Good Jokes For Best Man: Etiquette Tips

While there are no specific rules for good best-man speech jokes, there are some unspoken practices to abide by. For instance, good jokes should never go overboard; there is an invisible line you should not cross for a joke to be acceptable. There is also a limit to the people that you can make fun of. For instance.

• You can make fun of the groom. This is your buddy or even your brother, so your best man speech-opening jokes can be about him.
• Poking fun at the bride on the other hand is sometimes not a good idea, and could come with limitations if you choose to go that way.
• Jokes about the bride would depend on the type of relationship that you have, and how well you know them. And still, the jokes should not go too far.
• It is safest to keep the jokes to people in the wedding party that you are closest to. This helps ensure that you won’t be stepping on any toes.
• When unsure, you can always choose to joke about yourself. No one would be offended by some self-deprecating humor. It is sometimes the best way to get the humor across. This way you can be sure you are not crossing any lines, and you would have less nerves since you’d be talking about someone you know extremely well, yourself.

Some more tips for the best man’s speech and best man’s speech jokes.

• When giving your introductory line, be sure to thank the other speakers who have gone before you.
• Congratulate the couple on their union.
• Don’t forget to say a few nice things about the bride, especially if you choose to give her a good ribbing afterward.
• Compliment the bridal party, especially the bridesmaids.
• Attend to any other business, such as reading out messages from the groom, bride, vendor, or guests who couldn’t make it.
• End your speech with a toast to the couple.

People Often Ask

What is the best man supposed to say.

After giving a superb and hopefully funny introduction, the best man is supposed to thank the other speakers, congratulate the couple, and say a few nice words about them. He could also add a sentimental quote or poem before toasting the newlyweds.

Who should the best man thank in his speech?

The best man would naturally thank the groom during his speech. He could also thank the other speakers at the beginning of his speech and toast the couple at the end.

Reading the best man’s speech at a wedding can cause some men to become nervous wrecks. This is coupled with the pressure of wedding preparations. This post saves the best men the stress of preparing a speech from scratch and flunking it. We have put down tips, outlines, and best-man speech ideas. Ideas that show you how to come up with great best-man speech jokes. We close with different types of best-man speech examples and wish you good luck!

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Best man one liners

Oliver Lucas

Published 12 Sep 2023

One of the things all best men struggle with is content. It’s all very well knowing that you have to crack of a bunch of best man one liners to open the show but for those of us not blessed with the comedic talents of the professionals its not easy.

SpeechMate provides you with all the content you’ll ever need and tailors it to your personal requirements based on your own unique profile. Clever huh?! To give you a taster, here are a few opening best men lines to help you get started.

Dave’s had some questionable girlfriends over the years. I don’t usually forget a face but in their case I’d be glad to make an exception.

If there is anybody here who is feeling uneasy, nervous or worried, your either me, because I have to deliver this speech or you just got married to Stewart Jones.

I was researching on the internet how long a best man’s speech should last and the consensus seemed to be that it should take no longer than the groom does to make love. And with that – I give you Mr. and Mrs. Collins (take a sip of champers and sit down).

Ladies and Gentlemen: you are all about to witness a unique event in history.   The very first and very last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us.

I heard there was a sweep stake on the length of the best mans speech. I just went for 35 minutes – so settle in…….

Good afternoon ladies and gents. I’m going to keep this speech like Clive short and not very funny…..

In preparation for today I thought I’d go on the internet. To my great excitement, after a couple of hours I found some amazing material.   But then I remembered that I was supposed to be writing a speech.

I was talking to Dave earlier and gather he’s taking Joy to Wales on their honeymoon. At least I assume that’s where they’re going. When I asked Dave what he was doing after the wedding he said he was going to Bangor for a couple of weeks.

Well, what can I tell you about Alex? I’ve know him for over 20 years; he’s good looking, intelligent, witty, charming..sorry, wrong wedding.

There is an unwritten rule of wedding etiquette that states nobody should look more handsome than the groom and I’d like to thank our ushers Richard and Dean for adhering to that. I’m not quite sure that saying ‘You’ll sit where you’re damn well put’ was really in the spirit of the day, but anyway, you get the point.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Bobby. I have been Martin’s mate since Wednesday this week. I was the successful applicant to an ad he put online asking to pose as his friend. Apparently I got the position by default having been the only one to apply…

Although I’m a touch nervous doing this, I do take comfort by the reaction I got earlier this week when I rehearsed this speech in front of a live audience at the local old peoples home, … they seemed to really like it…well, they all peed themselves anyway.

Thanks James congrats on a great speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it.

During the service today I sat back and couldn’t help think how its funny how history repeats itself, I mean it was about 32 years ago that Peter and Delia were sending their daughter to bed with a dummy………and now it’s happening all over again today.

Apparently the continents of Europe and America are moving towards each other at a rate of about 5 cms a year. Now this is very slow progress indeed I’m sure you’ll agree. Scientists have actually created a scale to measure things that move that slowly, and its known as the Jordan Jones scale as it based on the time it has taken him to make an honest woman of Trish!

I did ask for a mic but was told one wasn’t one. So for those of you who can’t hear me at the back, the silence from the people at the front should re‐assure you that you’re not missing out on anything.

Rest assured ladies and gentlemen, unlike most traditional best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo, I’ve promised Andrew and Marie that if there is anything even slightly risqué, I’ll whip it out immediately…

On Matt’s first date with Alison he thought he’d make an impression, and promised her a seven course meal. She was a tad disappointed when it turned out to be a burger and a six pack!

One of my duties as best man, in the run up to today has been to to keep away Steve’s ex girlfriends. I’m pleased to say I was successful at doing so although I must admit I did get some help on that… from the recent Ebola outbreak…

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Best Man Speech: The Definitive Guide to Smashing it

by Catherine D July 12, 2019

Here’s all you need to deliver an incredible and unforgettable best man speech.

Congratulations!

You’ve just been awarded the highest honor a bro can receive.  You’re the best man! And that’s an honor greater than being knighted by the queen. But I’m sure you know what comes with it.

You’ll have to give that best man speech brosef!

Though, you won’t want to give just any speech off the top of your head that nobody is going to give a damn about.

Just remember what Uncle Ben said to Spidey, “With great power comes great responsibility”. It’s that serious, man.

You’ve probably seen best man speeches like this before. The guy stands up, hits the glass and says something, uninspired, about how he’s bros with the groom, congratulates the bride-to-be, and then sits down.

Or maybe you’ve seen another kind of speech, where the best man stands up and talks about nothing for 10+ minutes, putting you to sleep, because who even cares?

During a reception, there are about a million different things going on. People will forget the things that do not grab their attention, especially at a reception.

Everyone there is busy talking, eating, laughing, and will not care or even remember a boring speech in a few days. But not yours, my friend, you’re going to be the star of the day.

In this guide, we give you everything you need to know in sequence - from the writing process, all the way to delivering that wedding toast. Get your notepad ready for some very important tips on giving your wedding toast!

So How Do You Write the Best Man Speech?

The hardest part is always just getting started. Here are some basic tips on how to write a best man speech so that you can be prepared and dominate when the time comes.

Be Prepared and Plan Ahead

Practice makes perfect. Creating a fantastic speech doesn’t happen overnight.

If you’re going to wow the audience, you’ll need to make sure you’ve done everything you possibly can and covered every base - and man, that takes time.

Generally, 2-3 months is the right amount of time to give yourself when writing for a best man speech to account for the overall writing process and potential rewrites.

Considering all of the events that follow, like the bachelor party and the suit fitting, you’ll be too busy in those final moments to prepare a killer best man speech that’s even half decent.

Record Every Thought

You might be on the bus or in your car and think of an incredible quote or one-liner to say in your wedding toast, but our memories are very limited.

It’s difficult to remember what you even had for lunch two days ago, much less something you thought up some random time.

No matter where you are, record your thoughts. You could write in a journal, use your iPhone’s “Voice Memos” app or an app like Evernote . Scratch them onto a napkin, carve them into a stone near you, just get those wedding toast ideas down!

As long as you start capturing your thoughts, you’ll eventually reach a gold mine.

Think of this more as ‘capturing’ than ‘writing’. It’s easier to capture your raw best man speech ideas than banging your head on the wall trying to ‘write’ something from scratch.

Keep a Positive Tone

When it comes to the best man speech, the main thing to keep in mind is the goal of what you want to accomplish - celebrating the bride and groom. Here are some things to focus on:

• Your best experiences with the groom.
• How great a pair the bride and groom are.
• The best qualities of the groom.
• Possible first thoughts on the bride when they met (If they were good thoughts!)

Focus on the best of times, and further expand upon those points the best you can and maybe you can use those for a few wedding jokes!

With that in mind, here’s what not to say:

What Not to Talk About in Your Speech

While you may be writing to make your groom laugh, you need to remember your audience is diverse. You have children, elders, and teenagers so you wouldn’t want to write something inappropriate.

Generally, it’s best to avoid things like these:

• Any previous relationships.
• Anything about drugs, alcohol, gambling.
• Perverse topics, or anything of a sexual nature.
• Harsh negativity.
• Inside jokes that are too specific.

The idea is to avoid anything raunchy or disheartening during your speech, even if it might be hilarious in your head, you’ll have to avoid it in your best man speech.

Think about how upset Grandma would be if you happened to talk about how her little Jimmy actually hasn’t been saving himself for marriage - what horror!

How Long Should a Best Man Speech Be?

So you have a great speech, and you’ve covered every single talking point that fit. Everyone’s going to love this, right?

Wrong! When writing a best man speech, you’ll want to keep it way, way shorter.

The problem is that what you wrote is almost 30 minutes long! No bueno amigo. Nothing on this Earth could keep people engaged in a wedding toast that long.

You’re not going for a ‘F.D.R. Repairing the American Psyche During The Great Depression’ type of speech. What you want is more like an ‘I Love You, Man’ speech.

It seems like everyone from everywhere throws out an arbitrary number ranging from 1-10 minutes, but really, research shows our attention span is even shorter than a goldfish .

Which means you have 8 seconds to make an impression . Let that sink in.

The best man speech is usually between meals at a reception. That means you have to make your mark - and get in what you have to say in a short time. Meaning that short best man speeches are perfectly fine, you don’t have to overthink it.

It can be 1 minute, it can be 5 minutes.  Keep the audience engaged in your speech and don’t ramble off unnecessarily.

How do you do that? Practice!

It’s All About Practice

You know, it’s okay to feel unsatisfied with what you wrote. After all, you’re not the most accomplished writer in the world. You just want to prepare a great best man speech and get back to Netflix binging.

The writing process can be tough, so here’s an ideal approach that most people use when writing the best material:

• Write a few pages of content just to get the speech ideas out.
• Realize that you’ve written a movie's worth of material.
• Take what you really like.
• Edit until you stop hating it.

Being intimidated serves no purpose.

Get Interviewed Bruh

If you’re not the best writer (or capturer), the previous steps might seem a little intimidating to you. That’s fine. Not everyone can put pen to paper as well as they’d like, and if that’s you, consider having a friend interview you!

Getting a friend or family member to interview you about your experiences with the groom is a great way of getting wedding speech ideas. Here are a few topics to get interviewed on:

• Where did you meet?
• Did you like each other at first?
• When did you become bros?
• What kind of crazy experiences did you have together?
• What kind of bad qualities does he have?
• What kind of good qualities does he have?

Answering these questions with a recording device can help you when you need to put the best man speech together, and you can recall things you might never have just by writing!

Be (Relatively) Sober

Even if you have a Wade Boggs alcohol tolerance, it’s best to keep the drinks to a minimum.

( The guy drank 64 beers on one cross country flight, what the hell? )

Having one or two drinks is fine if it helps calm the nerves, but any more will mess up any chance of giving a decent best man toast, and you’ll just look silly slurring your words or acting strangely. Remember, all eyes are on you during your best man speech.

Try Some Best Man Speech Jokes or Quotes

So suppose you’ve got your speech together, but you have a placeholder like:

[ Put a joke in here! ] in 3-4 spots, and you really have no idea what to put in there.

We got you covered.

Here are some best man speech opening lines you could work with and personalize for whatever you may need, because the opportunity for wedding jokes is a rare thing! These make great icebreakers to warm your audience up.

“Well, where do I even start? [Groom] is just incredible. He’s brilliant, funny, caring… Anyway, I can’t really read your handwriting [Groom], so just tell me whatever the rest was after.”

“[Bride], you really are an incredible woman. You deserve an absolutely incredible husband, so I’m not going to stop until I figure out what’s wrong here.”

“Thank you everyone for bearing with me, I Googled ‘best man speech jokes’ and every site asked for my credit card before showing me any examples, so here goes nothing.”

“For those of you who know the bride, she’s really a wonderful woman who deserves a wonderful man. So good job, [Groom], for marrying her before she found one.”

“For anyone who finds this speech particularly not funny, I got all of my jokes from [Groom] so please, blame that guy.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, I wasn’t given a microphone tonight and I deeply apologize. To anyone in the back, If you hear silence at the front, be sure that you’re not missing anything.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, before I begin this speech I’d just like to say I am absolutely thrilled that I beat the bartender at rock-paper-scissors twenty minutes ago for the honor of best man.”

Putting Together a Best Man Speech Outline

Now that you have an idea of how to write a best man speech, it’s just as important to know how to structure it. While there are canned free best man speech templates out there, it's really best to get a bird's eye view on what you want to say and create a structure that works for you personally. Don't just take any random free speech template from online and fire it up. Not every outline or template will work for your needs, so get a good idea of your vision first then begin to structure it.

Flow matters, and it’s the most important thing in putting together great best man speeches. Without good flow, you’ll lose the crowd and people won’t follow what you’re saying.

Here are some great ideas to nail the best man speech structure and make your speech shine.

The Introduction

The introduction needs to serve a single purpose: Getting people engaged! This is the key aspect of any best man speech formula.

The One-Liner Approach

An incredible one-liner is a great way of getting started. A good idea for this would be to roast the groom a little bit, he probably wouldn’t mind.

For example, what faults does he have? You can take advantage of that to make slight jabs at him.

Or you can even make fun of yourself in the process, what do you both suck at? Maybe you want to talk about that awkward mullet phase you both had in high school. Live it up!

The Congratulatory Approach

Alternatively, you can open by showing gratitude to:

• The bride and groom, for bringing everyone together.
• The guests, for attending this incredible event.
• The parents of the bride and groom, for bringing them into this world.

This approach is a good option at the beginning. You can use it as a Plan B if you think you can’t gather an appropriate one-liner.

It’s easy to get lost in thought about what to follow up a good opener in a best man speech, but nothing is safer than a good story to engage your audience.

The idea is to create a connection to the groom and then present it to the guests.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Where you met the groom.
• What makes him a great guy.
• Crazy stories that show who he is.
• Why he’s an excellent fit for the bride.
• How he changed for the better after he met the bride.

Really, anything goes, and they’re all sure to keep people interested. Focus on the organic story of your friendship and don’t be robotic.

You’ll want to accomplish this in a way that stays kosher, though, avoiding unsavory details mentioned in our #4 tip.

Congratulate the Bride

So, you don’t have to do this, but we definitely encourage it. The issue is, not everyone really knows the bride. Honestly, maybe you met her a month ago, or a week ago.

Who knows, you could have met her literally just now. When your buddy gets hitched, it’s quite common to not really know the lady herself.

If this is true, you can handle this two ways:

Stick to something like:

“I knew she was a great fit for you the moment I saw you together”.

“She really is the perfect match for you dude.”

Sure the groom will know you barely know her, but whatever, if he really is your bro, he’ll appreciate that you’re saving face like this.

2. Avoid it.

Look, you’re the best man, it means the groom chose you, he knows you. Which means that he’s most likely expecting your best man speech to be about your experiences together, so keep the content focused around your relationship.

This means that it’s okay to avoid any mention of the bride after the first few words when writing a best man speech.

It works in most cases to just congratulate her in the intro, and then continue on with your speech avoiding her entirely.

This might sound a little underhanded, but it works, and most likely, the audience won’t notice.

If you know the bride, then speak about her.

If you’re just as close to the bride as you are to the groom, then you need to take all of the prior steps to make a compelling speech for the bride too, which won’t make the best man toast easy but hey, you don’t want to piss her off.

You could share a story about her too, or you can talk about one where the bride and groom shared with you, which is always a safe bet.

How to End Your Wedding Toast

Here’s where you wrap up your thoughts, and keep this part short, you don’t have to stress it too much.

It’s as easy as saying something like,

“Jack, Jill, to a lifetime of good health, love, and joy!”

There are a thousand different things you can say here, but the main idea is to keep the tone positive, upbeat, congratulate their love and wish the best for them.

NOTE: It is absolutely acceptable to keep a paper copy of your speech on hand because you’re not remembering your speeches like a world leader at the U.N. You’re just a guy who’s happy for his bro.

Best Man Speech Examples

Even if you have everything else down, it’s always best to have some speech examples of how to tackle your wedding toast.

People have done it before you, so why go in blind? Here are some different types of best man speeches for unique scenarios you may want to try for your best man toast.

Funny Best Man Speech (Example)

“Hello Everyone, I’m John, I’m the best man, and if you find this speech unfunny, [Groom] and I have the same sense of humor, so please blame him.

I’m just joking, of course, I promised [Groom] I wouldn’t roast him too much today or talk about anything too weird, so I’ll just talk about the good parts of his character...

...Thank you, everyone, have a great evening.

But really, [Groom] and I have been friends since before I knew how even to tie my own shoelaces. He’s a brother to me, even more than my actual brother, sometimes.

Sorry, Alex.”

Emotional Best Man Speech (Example)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I’m the best man, Chris. [Groom] and I go way back, all the way from high school. Through the years, he’s grown from a pain in the ass, into a fine man.

[Groom] was always shy when it came to meeting new people, and that’s sorta hard to hear considering how a guy like that could be such a perfect match with [Bride]. But I can’t imagine him without you, because I’ve seen what it looked like.

[Bride], you are both so dear to me, please take care of [Groom], please keep him out of trouble.”

Short Best Man Speech (Example)

“Good evening, everyone, from the moment that [Groom] met [Bride], I knew that this was going to be something special.

The way you two talk to each other, you’re so alike sometimes that honestly, it kind of scares me.

But to quote Mark Twain, ‘To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.’ May your love be timeless.”

Hopefully these wedding toast examples give you ideas on how to model your own best man speech!

The Presentation - Delivering the Best Man Speech

You have the writing and the flow down. Great! Most of the hard work is all done.

But don’t forget, you’re delivering a best man speech. And grand statements are always accompanied by excellent speech etiquette.

Here are some best man speech tips that’ll help you deliver, so that you don’t look like an uncomfortable 4th grader at a talent show your Mom forced you into.

Practice Your Speech on Camera

You’re noticing a trend, right? Practicing the actual delivery of the best man speech in front of a camera is a great way to see what poor and good habits you have.

And then, you need to keep practicing to eliminate the bad ones. For example, do you notice that you slump too much? Do you happen to mumble? Do you look down a lot?

Take note of all of these when you look at the recording and then try the speech again while mindfully avoiding bad habits and watching out for awkwardly delivered wedding jokes.

Practice in Front of People

Sure, using a camera is an excellent way to correct issues, but there’s nothing better than getting an outsider opinion.

Getting a spectator to sit and watch you deliver your best man toast lets someone tear into your bad habits without any bias. It may be painful, but this is what you want, and a larger group of people is best.

That way, when it’s time to give the best man speech, the concerns an audience member might have are already known to you.

The Honest Truth Man

Remember that a best man speech is a celebration of the love and joy that the bride and groom share. You don’t have to stress about every minor detail, because the audience isn’t (and they’ll most likely all be drunk anyway).

They’re already lightened up, and in the mood for a good few words, so why spend your time being nervous? It’s not worth it. Enjoy yourself up there and just deliver that crushing best man toast.

After it’s through, you can start drinking again, which is what you’ll probably want to do anyway.

Say what you have to say, and raise a toast to the bride and groom. Use this guide as a helpful resource and come back to it as many times as you need to ensure a totally awesome best man speech.

Good luck on your best man speech!

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I'm Great at Giving Wedding Speeches—But Here's the One Thing I'd Never Do During My Toast

I’ve seen some of my funniest friends flop during their speech.

Allow me to not-so-humble brag for a second: I’m really good at wedding speeches. I’ve now officiated four weddings, given a best man speech, delivered a half dozen wedding toasts and I’ve helped a number of friends write wedding speeches. These public displays of my affection for the happy couple are always well received, and there’s one large reason why my speeches go over better than those of others: I don’t wing it and I don’t go off script. You may now be thinking to yourself, duh, of course I’d prepare my remarks in advance . But that’s not what I mean. I don’t just prepare. I write out every. Single. Word. And then I read every. Single. Word. No deviation. No improv. No winging it.

The Horror Story

Everyone thinks they can lightly prepare their wedding speech or toast and just riff in the moment. This is a huge mistake . Best men, maids of honor, officiants, parents of the bride or groom—I’ve seen them all transform from happy-go-lucky wedding guests to deer in headlights right before my very eyes. They only prepare some bullet points. Or they decide they’ll just tell a funny story. But things never go over as they want. Inevitably, nerves take over, jokes don’t land, things they wanted to say get left out. Or even worse, the speech will go on and on and on while we all sit in our seats silently screaming to ourselves, Land the freaking plane, Grandma!

I’ve seen some of my funniest friends absolutely bomb during a wedding speech even though I know they’re good public speakers. Why? They jot down a couple notes and try to just “be in the moment.”

At a recent wedding in upstate New York, I watched one of the funniest people I’ve ever met (no exaggeration, honestly) start sweating bullets during his best man toast. He clearly had prepared a couple of jokes that he thought he could somehow navigate between in the moment. But when his first joke didn’t land, he began to panic. He began stuttering. He began searching through his notes for a way to salvage the moment. His voice began to quiver. The speech…wasn’t great. But it wasn’t the worst one of the night.

The other groom’s best man didn’t lose confidence. In fact, I’m pretty sure he thinks he delivered the best wedding speech in history. But he’d be wrong. His speech went on for sooooo long. He glanced down at a couple of notes he had brought with him periodically, basically as a reminder of the embarrassing story about the groom he wanted to tell next. With no script to read from, he had no idea that he lost his audience at about minute five and that by minute 11 we were all looking at our watches wondering how much longer it'd be before we could dance the damn Cha-Cha Slide.

This all could have been avoided…

My Foolproof Advice

At the same wedding that I watched these two loved ones struggle, I officiated a ceremony that was followed by handshakes and back pats from every friend I knew and every family member I’d never met before. It was a success because I had crafted (and rehearsed) a ceremony over the course of weeks—and then I read exactly what I had written down.

A wedding speech isn’t easy, but I would highly discourage anyone from leaving anything to chance. On the contrary, I recommend crafting a speech, practicing it, honing jokes, cutting out unnecessary details and practicing in front of a trusted friend. And then, when you get out in front of the crowd, just stick to the script. It hasn’t failed me yet!

A Few Other Tips

Besides keeping things scripted, I do have a few other small pieces of advice I can offer. First of all, keep it brief . It’s much better to err on the side of too short than too long. Second, don’t make it about yourself —keep it about the bride or groom. In fact, why not make a joke out of that? Early on in my wedding speech or toast, I’ll introduce myself and how I know the bride or groom, followed by the line, “But today isn’t about me…at least according to the program.” Cue the laughter. It kills every time, and it breaks the ice early on. (Feel free to steal it—the best comedians steal from one another.)

And that brings me to my next two tips: break the ice right away and make things funny . Breaking the ice can be difficult, so I recommend either making a self-deprecating joke right at the top of your speech (I personally go with, “You probably recognize me as the one who looks like Adrian Brody, only more sinewy and with less money”) or encouraging everyone to be loud right away (“This isn’t one of those quiet weddings so let’s give a big, rowdy round of applause for our bride and groom…”).

And include jokes where you can, but keep it clean. No one wants to awkwardly look over to the mother of the groom to see how she’s reacting after you make an off-color joke. Jokes can also be difficult, but that’s why you practice in advance (and why you practice in front of a friend). Keep the ones that work and ditch the ones that don’t.

You’ll Be Fine

The biggest thing to remember? This isn’t a life-or-death situation. This is a day of celebration where everyone wants you to succeed in your toast. And if you prepare in advance, practice your script and then read it word for word, you’ll have nothing to be nervous about. Before you know it, you’ll be high fiving the father of the bride as he congratulates you for totally nailing your speech.

The ‘24-Hour Photo Freeze’ Is the Wedding Etiquette Rule We Need in Our Lives

VP, News and Entertainment; 'And Just Like That' Podcast Host; Up-And-Coming Bowler

I'm Great at Giving Wedding Speeches—But Here's the One Thing I'd Never Do During My Toast

Allow me to not-so-humble brag for a second: I’m really good at wedding speeches.

I’ve now officiated four weddings, given a best man speech, delivered a half dozen wedding toasts and I’ve helped a number of friends write wedding speeches. These public displays of my affection for the happy couple are always well received, and there’s one large reason why my speeches go over better than those of others: I don’t wing it and I don’t go off script.

You may now be thinking to yourself, duh, of course I’d prepare my remarks in advance . But that’s not what I mean. I don’t just prepare. I write out every. Single. Word. And then I read every. Single. Word. No deviation. No improv. No winging it.

The Horror Story

Everyone thinks they can lightly prepare their wedding speech or toast and just riff in the moment. This is a huge mistake . Best men, maids of honor, officiants, parents of the bride or groom—I’ve seen them all transform from happy-go-lucky wedding guests to deer in headlights right before my very eyes. They only prepare some bullet points. Or they decide they’ll just tell a funny story. But things never go over as they want. Inevitably, nerves take over, jokes don’t land, things they wanted to say get left out. Or even worse, the speech will go on and on and on while we all sit in our seats silently screaming to ourselves, Land the freaking plane, Grandma!

I’ve seen some of my funniest friends absolutely bomb during a wedding speech even though I know they’re good public speakers. Why? They jot down a couple notes and try to just “be in the moment.”

At a recent wedding in upstate New York, I watched one of the funniest people I’ve ever met (no exaggeration, honestly) start sweating bullets during his best man toast. He clearly had prepared a couple of jokes that he thought he could somehow navigate between in the moment. But when his first joke didn’t land, he began to panic. He began stuttering. He began searching through his notes for a way to salvage the moment. His voice began to quiver. The speech…wasn’t great. But it wasn’t the worst one of the night.

The other groom’s best man didn’t lose confidence. In fact, I’m pretty sure he thinks he delivered the best wedding speech in history. But he’d be wrong. His speech went on for sooooo long. He glanced down at a couple of notes he had brought with him periodically, basically as a reminder of the embarrassing story about the groom he wanted to tell next. With no script to read from, he had no idea that he lost his audience at about minute five and that by minute 11 we were all looking at our watches wondering how much longer it'd be before we could dance the damn Cha-Cha Slide.

This all could have been avoided…

My Foolproof Advice

At the same wedding that I watched these two loved ones struggle, I officiated a ceremony that was followed by handshakes and back pats from every friend I knew and every family member I’d never met before. It was a success because I had crafted (and rehearsed) a ceremony over the course of weeks—and then I read exactly what I had written down.

A wedding speech isn’t easy, but I would highly discourage anyone from leaving anything to chance. On the contrary, I recommend crafting a speech, practicing it, honing jokes, cutting out unnecessary details and practicing in front of a trusted friend. And then, when you get out in front of the crowd, just stick to the script. It hasn’t failed me yet!

A Few Other Tips

Besides keeping things scripted, I do have a few other small pieces of advice I can offer. First of all, keep it brief . It’s much better to err on the side of too short than too long. Second, don’t make it about yourself —keep it about the bride or groom. In fact, why not make a joke out of that? Early on in my wedding speech or toast, I’ll introduce myself and how I know the bride or groom, followed by the line, “But today isn’t about me…at least according to the program.” Cue the laughter. It kills every time, and it breaks the ice early on. (Feel free to steal it—the best comedians steal from one another.)

And that brings me to my next two tips: break the ice right away and make things funny . Breaking the ice can be difficult, so I recommend either making a self-deprecating joke right at the top of your speech (I personally go with, “You probably recognize me as the one who looks like Adrian Brody, only more sinewy and with less money”) or encouraging everyone to be loud right away (“This isn’t one of those quiet weddings so let’s give a big, rowdy round of applause for our bride and groom…”).

And include jokes where you can, but keep it clean. No one wants to awkwardly look over to the mother of the groom to see how she’s reacting after you make an off-color joke. Jokes can also be difficult, but that’s why you practice in advance (and why you practice in front of a friend). Keep the ones that work and ditch the ones that don’t.

You’ll Be Fine

The biggest thing to remember? This isn’t a life-or-death situation. This is a day of celebration where everyone wants you to succeed in your toast. And if you prepare in advance, practice your script and then read it word for word, you’ll have nothing to be nervous about. Before you know it, you’ll be high fiving the father of the bride as he congratulates you for totally nailing your speech.

The ‘24-Hour Photo Freeze’ Is the Wedding Etiquette Rule We Need in Our Lives