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The virtues and downsides of online dating, 30% of u.s. adults say they have used a dating site or app. a majority of online daters say their overall experience was positive, but many users – particularly younger women – report being harassed or sent explicit messages on these platforms.

Pew Research Center has long studied the changing nature of romantic relationships and the role of digital technology in how people meet potential partners and navigate web-based dating platforms. This particular report focuses on the patterns, experiences and attitudes related to online dating in America. These findings are based on a survey conducted Oct. 16 to 28, 2019, among 4,860 U.S. adults. This includes those who took part as members of Pew Research Center’s American Trends Panel (ATP), an online survey panel that is recruited through national, random sampling of residential addresses, as well as respondents from the Ipsos KnowledgePanel who indicated that they identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB). The margin of sampling error for the full sample is plus or minus 2.1 percentage points.

Recruiting ATP panelists by phone or mail ensures that nearly all U.S. adults have a chance of selection. This gives us confidence that any sample can represent the whole U.S. adult population (see our Methods 101 explainer on random sampling). To further ensure that each ATP survey reflects a balanced cross-section of the nation, the data are weighted to match the U.S. adult population by gender, race, ethnicity, partisan affiliation, education and other categories.

For more, see the report’s methodology about the project. You can also find the questions asked, and the answers the public provided in this topline .

From personal ads that began appearing in publications around the 1700s to videocassette dating services that sprang up decades ago, the platforms people use to seek out romantic partners have evolved throughout history. This evolution has continued with the rise of online dating sites and mobile apps.

The current survey finds that online dating is especially popular among certain groups – particularly younger adults and those who identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB). Roughly half or more of 18- to 29-year-olds (48%) and LGB adults (55%) say they have ever used a dating site or app, while about 20% in each group say they have married or been in a committed relationship with someone they first met through these platforms. Americans who have used online dating offer a mixed look at their time on these platforms.

On a broad level, online dating users are more likely to describe their overall experience using these platforms in positive rather than negative terms. Additionally, majorities of online daters say it was at least somewhat easy for them to find others that they found physically attractive, shared common interests with, or who seemed like someone they would want to meet in person. But users also share some of the downsides to online dating. Roughly seven-in-ten online daters believe it is very common for those who use these platforms to lie to try to appear more desirable. And by a wide margin, Americans who have used a dating site or app in the past year say the experience left them feeling more frustrated (45%) than hopeful (28%).

Other incidents highlight how dating sites or apps can become a venue for bothersome or harassing behavior – especially for women under the age of 35. For example, 60% of female users ages 18 to 34 say someone on a dating site or app continued to contact them after they said they were not interested, while a similar share (57%) report being sent a sexually explicit message or image they didn’t ask for.

Online dating has not only disrupted more traditional ways of meeting romantic partners, its rise also comes at a time when norms and behaviors around marriage and cohabitation also are changing as more people delay marriage or choose to remain single.

These shifting realities have sparked a broader debate about the impact of online dating on romantic relationships in America. On one side, some highlight the ease and efficiency of using these platforms to search for dates, as well as the sites’ ability to expand users’ dating options beyond their traditional social circles. Others offer a less flattering narrative about online dating – ranging from concerns about scams or harassment to the belief that these platforms facilitate superficial relationships rather than meaningful ones. This survey finds that the public is somewhat ambivalent about the overall impact of online dating. Half of Americans believe dating sites and apps have had neither a positive nor negative effect on dating and relationships, while smaller shares think its effect has either been mostly positive (22%) or mostly negative (26%).

Terminology

These findings come from a nationally representative survey of 4,860 U.S. adults conducted online Oct. 16 to 28, 2019, using Pew Research Center’s American Trends Panel. The following are among the major findings.

Younger adults – as well as those who identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual – are especially likely to use online dating sites or apps

Experience with online dating varies substantially by age. While 48% of 18- to 29-year-olds say they have ever used a dating site or app, that share is 38% among 30- to 49-year-olds, and it is even smaller among those ages 50 and older. Still, online dating is not completely foreign to those in their 50s or early 60s: 19% of adults ages 50 to 64 say they have used a dating site or app.

Beyond age, there also are striking differences by sexual orientation. 3 LGB adults are about twice as likely as straight adults to say they have used a dating site or app (55% vs. 28%). 4 And in a pattern consistent with previous Pew Research Center surveys , college graduates and those with some college experience are more likely than those with a high school education or less to say they’ve ever online dated.

There are only modest differences between men and women in their use of dating sites or apps, while white, black or Hispanic adults all are equally likely to say they have ever used these platforms.

At the same time, a small share of U.S. adults report that they found a significant other through online dating platforms. Some 12% of adults say they have married or entered into a committed relationship with someone they first met through a dating site or app. This too follows a pattern similar to that seen in overall use, with adults under the age of 50, those who are LGB or who have higher levels of educational attainment more likely to report finding a spouse or committed partner through these platforms.

A majority of online daters say they found it at least somewhat easy to come across others on dating sites or apps that they were physically attracted to or shared their interests

For the most part, different demographic groups tend to view their online dating experiences similarly. But there are some notable exceptions. College-educated online daters, for example, are far more likely than those with a high school diploma or less to say that their own personal experience with dating sites or apps is very or somewhat positive (63% vs. 47%).

At the same time, 71% of online daters report that it was at least somewhat easy to find people on dating sites or apps that they found physically attractive, while about two-thirds say it was easy to find people who shared their hobbies or interests or seemed like someone they would want to meet in person.

While majorities across various demographic groups are more likely to describe their searches as easy, rather than difficult, there are some differences by gender. Among online daters, women are more likely than men to say it was at least somewhat difficult to find people they were physically attracted to (36% vs. 21%), while men were more likely than women to express that it was difficult to find others who shared their hobbies and interests (41% vs. 30%).

Men who have online dated in the past five years are more likely than women to feel as if they did not get enough messages from other users

There are substantial gender differences in the amount of attention online daters say they received on dating sites or apps. Men who have online dated in the past five years are far more likely than women to feel as if they did not get enough messages (57% vs. 24%). On the other hand, women who have online dated in this time period are five times as likely as men to think they were sent too many messages (30% vs. 6%).

The survey also asked online daters about their experiences with getting messages from people they were interested in. In a similar pattern, these users are more likely to report receiving too few rather than too many of these messages (54% vs. 13%). And while gender differences remain, they are far less pronounced. For example, 61% of men who have online dated in the past five years say they did not receive enough messages from people they were interested in, compared with 44% of women who say this.

Roughly seven-in-ten online daters think people lying to appear more desirable is a very common occurrence on online dating platforms

Smaller, but still substantial shares, of online daters believe people setting up fake accounts in order to scam others (50%) or people receiving sexually explicit messages or images they did not ask for (48%) are very common on dating sites and apps. By contrast, online daters are less likely to think harassment or bullying, and privacy violations, such as data breaches or identify theft, are very common occurrences on these platforms.

Some users – especially younger women – report being the target of rude or harassing behavior while on these platforms

Some experts contend that the open nature of online dating — that is, the fact that many users are strangers to one another — has created a less civil dating environment and therefore makes it difficult to hold people accountable for their behavior. This survey finds that a notable share of online daters have been subjected to some form of harassment measured in this survey.

Roughly three-in-ten or more online dating users say someone through a dating site or app continued to contact them after they said they were not interested (37%), sent them a sexually explicit message or image they didn’t ask for (35%) or called them an offensive name (28%). Fewer online daters say someone via a dating site or app has threatened to physically harm them.

Younger women are particularly likely to encounter each of these behaviors. Six-in-ten female online dating users ages 18 to 34 say someone via a dating site or app continued to contact them after they said they were not interested, while 57% report that another user has sent them a sexually explicit message or image they didn’t ask for. Other negative interactions are more violent in nature: 19% of younger female users say someone on a dating site or app has threatened to physically harm them – roughly twice the rate of men in the same age range who say this.

The likelihood of encountering these kinds of behaviors on dating platforms also varies by sexual orientation. Fully 56% of LGB users say someone on a dating site or app has sent them a sexually explicit message or image they didn’t ask for, compared with about one-third of straight users (32%). LGB users are also more likely than straight users to say someone on a dating site or app continued to contact them after they told them they were not interested, called them an offensive name or threatened to physically harm them.

Online dating is not universally seen as a safe way to meet someone

Some 53% of Americans overall (including those who have and have not online dated) agree that dating sites and apps are a very or somewhat safe way to meet people, while a somewhat smaller share (46%) believe these platforms are a not too or not at all safe way of meeting people.

Americans who have never used a dating site or app are particularly skeptical about the safety of online dating. Roughly half of adults who have never used a dating or app (52%) believe that these platforms are a not too or not at all safe way to meet others, compared with 29% of those who have online dated.

There are some groups who are particularly wary of the idea of meeting someone through dating platforms. Women are more inclined than men to believe that dating sites and apps are not a safe way to meet someone (53% vs. 39%).

Age and education are also linked to differing attitudes about the topic. For example, 59% of Americans ages 65 and older say meeting someone this way is not safe, compared with 51% of those ages 50 to 64 and 39% among adults under the age of 50. Those who have a high school education or less are especially likely to say that dating sites and apps are not a safe way to meet people, compared with those who have some college experience or who have at bachelor’s or advanced degree. These patterns are consistent regardless of each group’s own personal experience with using dating sites or apps.

Pluralities think online dating has neither helped nor harmed dating and relationships and that relationships that start online are just as successful as those that begin offline

Respondents who say online dating’s effect has been mostly positive or mostly negative were asked to explain in their own words why they felt this way. Some of the most common reasons provided by those who believe online dating has had a positive effect focus on its ability to expand people’s dating pools and to allow people to evaluate someone before agreeing to meet in person. These users also believe dating sites and apps generally make the process of dating easier. On the other hand, people who said online dating has had a mostly negative effect most commonly cite dishonesty and the idea that users misrepresent themselves.

Pluralities also believe that whether a couple met online or in person has little effect on the success of their relationship. Just over half of Americans (54%) say that relationships where couples meet through a dating site or app are just as successful as those that begin in person, 38% believe these relationships are less successful, while 5% deem them more successful.

Public attitudes about the impact or success of online dating differ between those who have used dating platforms and those who have not. While 29% of online dating users say dating sites and apps have had a mostly positive effect on dating and relationships, that share is 21% among non-users. People who have ever used a dating site or app also have a more positive assessment of relationships forged online. Some 62% of online daters believe relationships where people first met through a dating site or app are just as successful as those that began in person, compared with 52% of those who never online dated.

• Pew Research Center’s 2013 survey about online dating was conducted via telephone, while the 2019 survey was fielded online through the Center’s American Trends Panel . In addition, there were some changes in question wording between these surveys. Please read the Methodology section for full details on how the 2019 survey was conducted. ↩
• Other studies show that online dating is playing a larger role in how romantic partners meet. See Rosenfeld, Michael J., Reuben J. Thomas, and Sonia Hausen. 2019. “ Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting .” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America. ↩
• This survey includes an oversample of lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB) adults. For more details, see the Methodology section of the report. ↩
• Other research suggests that online dating is an especially important way for populations with a small pool of potential partners – such as those who identify as gay or lesbian – to identify and meet partners. See Rosenfeld, Michael J., and Thomas, Reuben J. 2012. “ Searching for a Mate: The Rise of the Internet as a Social Intermediary .” American Sociological Review. ↩

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About half of never-married americans have used an online dating site or app, dating and relationships in the digital age, shareable facts about americans’ experiences with online dating, 10 facts about americans and online dating in 2019, q&a: how and why we studied online dating in the u.s., most popular.

About Pew Research Center Pew Research Center is a nonpartisan fact tank that informs the public about the issues, attitudes and trends shaping the world. It conducts public opinion polling, demographic research, media content analysis and other empirical social science research. Pew Research Center does not take policy positions. It is a subsidiary of The Pew Charitable Trusts .

Online Dating Essay Topic Ideas & Examples

🏆 best online dating topic ideas & essay examples, 👍 good essay topics on online dating, 📌 simple & easy online dating essay titles.

• Online Dating Platforms, Sex, and Relationships The most popular dating websites claim that their rates of a successful pairing are high, as they allow for an in-depth assessment of potential partners.
• Dating Online as a Part of Human Life The technological advancement of internet has made cyber sex to be on the rise. The best they can do is to exchange their feeling where some of them might be flirting and using internet to […] We will write a custom essay specifically for you by our professional experts 808 writers online Learn More
• An Online Dating Service for College Students: Biff Targets Marketing The issue that has to be answered in the case is what the college students, as target customers for online dating service, ideadlly would like to be offered.
• The Pitfalls of Online Dating These include the very real potential for deceit, interpersonal elements of physical attraction are absent in the online world and the time involved in interfacing with the computer reduces the ability of the individual to […]
• Online Dating for Aging Adults Considering the benefactors of the relationships that aging people develop through dating sites and applications also helps to determine the actual value of the tools in question.
• Online Dating: An Advocacy Campaign The proposed advocacy campaign is designed with the purpose of protecting people from the illegal conduct of those who use online dating websites to deceive others.
• Online Dating Start-Up Business Plan Due to this, a large number of online dating project has emerged in recent years, and the level of competition has increased as well.
• Relationships and Online Dating The creation of online dating sites and applications was most likely intended to eliminate these issues and make the process of finding new partners easy and stress-free.
• Advantages and Disadvantages of Online Dating Essay Advantages Unlike offline dating, online dating allows the user to interact with millions of people without having to travel. Similarly, with the use of online dating some people have been able to lie about their […]
• Assessing and Quantifying Local Network Effects in an Online Dating Market
• Choosing the Right Online Dating Site
• Better Results With Online Dating in the Digital Age
• Can Online Dating Replace Meeting a Person
• Comparison Between Online Dating and Traditional Dating
• Definition, Advantages, and Disadvantages of Online Dating
• Education and Income Attraction: An Online Dating Field Experiment
• Exploring the Benefits and Risks of Online Dating
• Has the Emergence of Online Dating Changed the Dynamic of Relationships
• How Matches Are Made in Online Dating Sites
• Getting the Most Out of Online Dating
• How Online Dating Has Altered the Process of Relationships
• Online Dating: Advantages and Disadvantages
• How Online Dating Services Make It Easy to Date and Hookup
• Individual and Social Societal Dimensions of Online Dating
• Conventional Dating Versus Online Dating
• The Good and Bad Effects of Online Dating
• Online Dating and Its Effect on Society
• The Online Dating Market: Theoretical and Methodological Considerations
• Online Dating Has Made Connecting With People Easier and More Accessible
• The Truth About Lying in Online Dating Profiles
• Online Dating Mistakes Men Make That Put Women Off
• Influence of Compatibility by Percentages and Initial Attraction on Online Dating Websites
• Online Dating Scams and Identity Theft
• A Discussion on the Negative Aspects of Online Dating
• Online Dating Tips for Single Parents
• A Discussion on the 21ST Century Trend of Online Dating
• Online Dating and Its Effects on the Internet Dating World
• The Evolution of Courting Through Online Dating
• Online Dating as the Future of Finding Relationships
• The Principles of Online Dating and the Issues That Comes With It
• The Aspects of Online Dating and Mate Preferences
• The Concept and People’s Expectations From Online Dating
• How Online Dating Is Threatening Monogamy
• The Role of Uncertainty Reduction Theory in Online Dating
• Discussion of Whether Online Dating Is Safe and Productive
• Meeting Others Through Online Dating Services
• Hunting for Love Through Online Dating
• The Rising Popularity of Online Dating: Key Elements
• Things to Remember When Participating in Online Dating
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The Social Significance of Online Dating

A closer look at online dating’s real-world consequences..

Posted December 28, 2021 | Reviewed by Tyler Woods

• Online dating is the number-one way for couples to meet in the U.S.
• Relationships form differently online than through conventional face-to-face dating.
• These changes to the ways couples meet may have large-scale implications.

Online dating is more than just a passing trend. In the U.S., most couples today meet online . Online dating has also become particularly popular among Millennials and Gen Zers , thanks in no small part to apps like Tinder and Bumble. As the first generations of adults to grow up with the internet, their willingness to embrace online dating is telling. In my own research, I’ve spoken with college-aged adults who have never had the experience of approaching someone for a date outside of an app—a sign of just how different dating is now compared to previous generations.

With all the changes brought about by online dating, research is beginning to explore its long-term implications. Here are five ways that online dating is making an impact, and reasons we should all be paying attention .

1. Greater Diversity, but Also Inequality

Online dating is designed to increase access to potential partners by connecting people with complete strangers. One benefit of encouraging people to branch out beyond their existing networks is diversity and the possibility for more interracial relationships. However, there are also concerns that the matching and sorting that happens in online dating could lead to even greater social stratification. For example, Bloomberg reported on how elite dating apps like The League could be worsening economic inequality by providing people with an effective means of “filtering out” potential partners from lower socio-economic standings. Either way, one thing that is clear is that online dating platforms have a tremendous amount of influence over what relationships will look like now and into the future.

2. A Higher Threshold for Commitment

Despite the ubiquity of online dating, the number of people who are single is growing . Having lots of choices should conceivably make it easier for people to find a relationship using online dating. At the same time, however, knowing someone better may be just a swipe away might make it difficult for people to know when to stop looking or commit to a relationship long-term. Social psychologist Eli Finkel has speculated that while the steady stream of options in online dating might not pose much of a threat to good relationships, it could mean people are less likely to stick around if things are anything less than perfect.

3. More Long-Term Satisfaction and Stability

In the early days of the Internet, there was hope that online dating may one day lower the divorce rate by helping people make better decisions when choosing a long-term partner. Decades later, there is evidence that the industry may be making some progress toward that goal. In one widely cited study, Cacioppo and colleagues found that marriages between spouses who met in online dating were slightly more satisfying and slightly less likely to end in separation or divorce than those that originated offline. For those who do succeed in forming a committed relationship using online dating, it would appear that these platforms may confer lasting benefits.

4. Less Emphasis on Proximity

Before the Internet, proximity was all but required for relationships to have any chance of working out. Thankfully, that is not the case anymore. With online dating, people are able to form relationships regardless of where they happen to be living. Yet considering that just over a third of Americans never move away from their hometown, it is noteworthy that online dating relationships may be driving some people's decisions to relocate. Online dating could also mean that people are opting into long-distance relationships at higher rates, which come with their own unique benefits and challenges.

5. Advances in Matchmaking

Matching algorithms are essential for facilitating introductions in online dating, yet they also have implications for other industries. For instance, eHarmony’s algorithm has been used as the basis for matching employers with employees and organ donors with recipients. Elements of OkCupid’s algorithm have also been applied in rare disease research as a way of identifying matches between patients with similar genetic disorders. As these platforms continue to develop more sophisticated approaches to matchmaking, their algorithms could help drive innovation beyond online dating.

Anderson, M., Vogels, E. A., & Turner, E. (2020, February 6). The virtues and downsides of online dating . Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/02/06/the-virtues-and-downsid…

Bogle, A. (2017, January 17). Doctors take inspiration from online dating to build organ transplant AI. Mashable . https://mashable.com/article/organ-donation-ai-liver-transplants

Cacioppo, J. T., Cacioppo, S., Gonzaga, G. C., Ogburn, E. L., & VanderWeele, T. J. (2013). Marital satisfaction and break-ups differ across on-line and off-line meeting venues. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 110 (25), 10135-10140. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1222447110

Cohn, D., & Morin, R. (2008, December 17). Who moves? Who stays put? Where’s home? Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2008/12/17/who-moves-who-stay…

Gottlieb, M. M., Arenillas, D. J., Maithripala, S., Maurer, Z. D., Tarailo-Graovac, M., Armstrong, L., Patel, M., van Karnebeek, C., & Wasserman, W. W. (2015). GeneYenta: A phenotype-based rare disease case matching tool based on online dating algorithms for the acceleration of exome interpretation. Human Mutation, 36 (4), 432-438. https://doi.org/10.1002/humu.22772

Pronk, T. M., & Denissen, J. J. A. (2020). A rejection mind-set: Choice overload in online dating. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 11 (3), 388-396. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550619866189

Rosenfeld, M. J., Thomas, R. J., & Hausen, S. (2019). Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 116 (36), 17753-17758. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1908630116

Sharabi, L. L., & Timmermans, E. (2021). Why settle when there are plenty of fish in the sea? Rusbult’s investment model applied to online dating. New Media & Society, 23 (10), 2926-2946. https://doi.org/10.1177/1461444820937660

Slater, D. (2013, January/February). A million first dates. The Atlantic . https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/01/a-million-first-da…

Smialek, J. (2018, April 17). Elite dating apps threaten to make America’s wealth gap worse. Bloomberg . https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-04-17/the-league-and-other…

Steiner, C. (2016, May 5). Do you fit in with company culture? A new algorithm knows. Forbes . https://www.forbes.com/sites/christophersteiner/2016/05/05/do-you-fit-i…

Taylor, C. (2019, February 13). Online dating isn’t a game. It’s literally changing humanity. Mashable . https://mashable.com/article/online-dating-change-world

Liesel Sharabi, Ph.D., is an associate professor in the Hugh Downs School of Human Communication at Arizona State University.

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• Teaching Ethos Using Online Dating Profiles

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Screen shot of the plan author's faux OkCupid profile, taken by the author

Students analyze portions of profiles excerpted from the free online dating site, OkCupid, in order to talk about ethos, values, ideology and goodwill.  The exercise, in turn, encourages students to consider their own online presences, their values, and the ways in which rhetoric has “real world” applications.  

To introduce the concept of ethos in a rhetoric classroom. To introduce students to the implications of online writing and the ways in which our writing reflects a particular image of ourselves to different audiences.  To encourage students to reflect on their own online identities, as well as the ways in which they shift their self-presentations based on their perceptions of audience and genre.

Internet access would be ideal, but this could easily be implemented using simple hand-outs prepared in advance.

Perhaps more so than any other piece of writing, and even more so than my students' facebook pages, the self-summaries presented in online dating profiles are fundamentally arguments of ethos. Regardless of specific rhetorical aim (a casual hook up, a future spouse, or something in between), at heart, each of these texts is saying to readers, “this is who I am, accept me.”  So they seemed like a great source text to get my students really thinking about how and why they evaluate people: what sort of snap judgements they make, how they read into things without even realizing it.  And it also served as an excellent talking point about the public nature of the internet - how just because we don’t anticipate particular audiences doesn’t mean our intended audience will be the only readers.

As I pointed out to my students, the internet is very much so a public place, regardless of the sometimes flimsy, sometimes more strict privacy settings of a given website.  We never really know the uses to which our words will be put, and especially when asking students to share and compose in digital spaces, it’s important to get them thinking about how online identities and compositions might be read.

OkCupid profiles offer a glimpse of more pragmatic, everyday ethos: how a person's general presentation or demeanor reflects an image back into the world. Looking at their compositions encourages students to focus on how people generate (or fail to generate) goodwill, and how they convey particular values through their writing.

After students break off into groups to assess the ethos presented in the profiles they are given and write short descriptions of their candidates, then we discuss their assessments as a group.  

As a follow up assignment, I ask students to go home and write their own self-summaries to be posted on the class blog.  To encourage students to think about audience, you might give them different audiences for which to compose these summaries.  For example, how would they summaraize themselves on a job application versus a student-body election?  For their parents versus their friends? For their classmates versus their teammates?

The site requires that you create an account in order to search for users, but the account is free, requiring nothing more than an email address.  So, if you would prefer to find example profiles on your own, you'll need to open an account.  However, I will include a number of potential sample profiles below in the "additional resources."  As my students discovered, these profiles can be easily found by "googling" phrases from the excerpts below (at least when I initially used them - users may have since set their profiles to private). I didn't use the full profiles as part of the class discussion, though I'm toying with the idea of doing so next time around. 

Should you seek out sample profiles to excerpt, here are my suggestions:

• seek outside of your geographical region (to avoid selecting someone that your students could possibly know)
• avoid using profiles that are overtly outrageous (this might be difficult as there are some ludicrous profiles on the site, but it will help to keep the exercise less unruly if the examples are more "reasonable")
• try not to select profiles which you expect your students to respond to in a particular way (they will inevitably surprise you)
• select profiles that have enough writing to afford a fair bit of analysis, but not so much that they students get lost (a good-sized paragraph should suffice)
• double check to see if the profile is set to "public" by copying and pasting the url into a separate browser (in which you are not logged into the site)

There is, perhaps, no clearer instance of an argument based on character than online dating profiles.  Each person's profile essentially makes the argument that "you should date me because of who I am."  On the free online dating site OkCupid, users are asked to write a "self-summary" which is the first thing people see when visiting their profile.

For this exercise, you will analyze a person's ethos based on their self-summary.  You'll then play match-maker, deciding amongst four candidates who would make the best match with your bachelor or bachelorette.  However, you'll need to justify your choice based on both parties' presentation of ethos.

In groups of three, you'll be assigned to a particular bachelor or bachelorette below.  You'll first analyze your bachelor or bachelorette's ethos, writing an evaluation of their values and character based on evidence from their self-summary.  Once you have a clear sense of your person, you will make an argument as to why they "fit" with one of the matches provided - again, based on character and shared values.  Here are some questions to consider:

• What makes this person a "good" dating candidate?
• What kind of person are they?
• What do they value?
• What do they like to do?
• How do they address their potential matches?

For any of these questions, you will want to provide a specific example/quote/evidence to explain your assessment.  If you have an immediate reaction to the person's profile, try to identify what sparked the reaction.  Think about word choice, tone, and level of formality.  How does this person generate (or fail to generate) goodwill?  Is anything in their profile alienating? What is it and why do you think you have that reaction?

The in-class discussion was not evaluated, though it may require some careful moderating.  Students will likely have a lot of fun with the exercise, but both times I've implemented the plan, I have had to work to keep the conversation from devolving into making vun of the profile in question.  It's important to remind students that these are "real" people.

My students love this exercise. They find it thoroughly memorable and enjoyable, although I'm not sure that makes it the most pedagogically valuable lesson I've taught.  So I would love feedback in the comments section if you try this plan in your classroom.

Here are a few of the sampels I used in my class - at the time of the exercise, all of these profiles were publicly viewable.  Summaries have been excerpted verbatim (all spelling errors and grammar issues are original).  I would recommend formatting them into some sort of chart (so as not to impose a vertical hierarchy), but for accessibility's sake, I'll simply post the text here.

Here are the options I gave to the first group:

Bachelor #1

Well I’m one of the good guys, a sweet heart that’s only here in hopes to find that awesome someone to share in life's sweat adventures with. No really it's true, not all guys are dumb assholes...Surprise. but lets be real, most are. Ha

They are some strange people out there that much is curtain so lets not think it's only you ladies that get weird messages from people. The first person to contact me on this site, turned out to be a homeless stripper. O_O Gross! Anyways I'm just saying I'm not like that or here for that. 

I'm not to serious a person, more carefree and laid back if anything so being able to make fun of people without hating on them is a must. I'd much rather do sometime fun than sit an complain all day about how messed up the world is.(Cause we all Know it is.) I do like to have intelligent conversations, deep discussions, and learn how to connect with the earth and universe more but I don't let things bother me that are out of my control if you know what I mean.

What I’m really interested in is someone that can love me for who I am and not try and make me out to be someone else and that's how I treat people in return.

I live alone and love it, my house is my sanctuary but like everyone else it gets lonely and I can use a best friend to hang with me and have some fun.

My heart and spiritual well being is very important to me, that being said I take good care of myself and my relationships with others. Having a negative attitude about anything isn’t worth my time and its just not my style.

I’m in no way a pacifist as I love a good debate and would jump in a second to save someone from a robber, bully or zombies. Fuck War! But sometimes even the monks must fight and stand up for the weak. That’s me.

I live by one simple truth that “The focused mind is the most powerful force in the universe, meaning what the mind can conceive and truly believe by will alone it shall achieve.”

However, the mind can only take so much and sometimes needs help form others. Everybody needs somebody sometimes. Sometimes its a shoulder you need and sometimes its a slap in the back of the head. I guess that’s why I’m here, no ones perfect even though I see a lot of people trying to be. So hit me up if you feel like I do.

Bachelorette #1

My name is Josephine, I studied fine arts at France and then moved to South America to finish a post-graduate program on Linguistics.

Nowadays I work as a drawing teacher and occasionally as a model for the faculty students. I have acted on the past too, I have always been very passionate about filmmaking, I even ended up making a film about five years ago. But that passion I left it behind to replace it with music. 

I am very much into exotic instruments. Koto, tabla, sitar, harmonium, buzuq, etc etc. These interest of the exotic came to me through my Romanian origins. I have a strong Gypsy bloodline on my family. I have played in several Manele bands during the late two years (since I re-established in England). 

Hmm... what else could I tell you? Vegetarianism is very important to me. I work hardly everyday to become a vegan and I'm expecting to totally achieve it by this year. That is why I have had to learn to cook vegan, which I succesfully achieved. I have the best Romani vegan dishes you'll ever taste (if we ever meet).

I like psychedelic sixties bands. I love The Doors, I think the ultimate party would be dancing around a pyre drinking sake to the rythmn of Five To One. I also love, of course, popular 'gypsy' music like Goran Bregovic, he did a great song with Iggy Pop called In The Death Car, for the film Arizona Dream, you should check that out.

Ok, I guess I already did this too long. Excuse me.

Bachelorette #2

Me, well, I'm a fat-bottomed girl and I make the rocking world go 'round.

I'm a woman. I enjoy womanly things like getting my nails done and putting makeup on. I do these things because they make me feel great, not because I'm high-maintenance or girly.

I'm pretty smart in my mind. I read a lot, enjoy a good movie often and listen to music all the time. I hate that I say "like" so fucking much, but it's one of my adorable quirks.

I'm a tactile person. I show affection by touch. However, I'm not a touchy feely person. Which is pretty fucking odd, I know.

At this point, I'm looking for someone I can actually do stuff with. Go to a play. Rock out to a band at a bar. Try a new restaurant. Drink!!

<*If all you're looking for is a bang buddy, I am not the girl for you.*>

 So essentially, I'm looking for someone who is fun, outgoing, and mature. It's odd looking for female friends, but I'm really trying to meet new PEOPLE not just men.

SHORT Beards (on men)

Men who play a musical instrument...I get so weak in the knees!

A man with some meat on his bones (and if you decide to be a smart ass and message me with, "I got meat on THIS bone," I will hunt you down and smack the shit out of you.)

A nice smile

Brazilian Fart Porn. Funniest shit I've ever seen.

A good, open sense of humor

Dirty minds

Mindfuckery (Can you feel my dick in your mind right now?)

Facetiousness

Too much gook in a guys hair

Men who wear flip flops, eeeew

People who lack ambition and imagination

LIARS- I know that sometimes you have to wait until a precise time to mention something...just don't lie.

Bachelorette #3

I am very family oriented. So I would start off by saying that I am most passionate about my family and friends. Beyond that, I love traveling, reading and learning foreign languages. I think that these things can open doors to new people, cultures and better understanding of the larger world. I also am passionate about learning new things. I love taking goofy classes, or reading up on something I don't know about. I think that knowledge really is power, and I love using my imagination and creativity to explore different aspects of the world. I pride myself on being street smart. Though formal eduation is very important, arming oneself with useful everyday knowledge can sometimes be even more valuable (aka I am thankful that I possess common sense!) I am a quick thinker and believe myself not to be naive. And while keeping an open-mind and an open-heart, I love that I am comfortable relying on my independence.

On a less serious note, I love laughing and I LOVE Steelers football! I'm always up for a road trip and love to go anywhere warm (especially during the winter months!) Oh yeah, and I have started to train for a Triathlon Sprint coming up this summer. (I'll let you know how that goes... it's early yet, so I'm still quite optimistic!) 

Lastly, some things i believe:

* Everything happens for a reason.

* That there is a heaven. I'm not so sure however, about hell. ... I'll get back to you.

* That no talent ass-clowns should not be glorified on MTV, VH1, E! or otherwise.

* "Beauty is only skin deep" is said only by people who have never been ugly.

* Accents and foreign languages are sexy.

* Singers and musicians are sexy.

* Happy-endings do exist.

* There is a lid for every pot.

* Everyone needs to know how to laugh at themselves.

* Life's too short to sweat the small stuff.

* There is no such thing as an accident or a mistake.

* Boy Meets World could have been and may always be the best show to grow up watching.

* We never stop learning.

For the second group, I gave them these options, and it was interesting to see if the two groups paired up the same bachelor and bachelorette .

The a geek, and proud of it. When I get passionate about something, I can't shut up about it (which is either endearing or extremely irritating, depending on your point of view).

I'm left-wing. A sceptic (in matters of science, although I'm sorry to say I'm quite gullible on a personal level). A militant atheist. It must be said though, that I'd like to think I have a pretty good sense of humour about those topics, even if I am passionate about them.

I'm an artist (I draw and paint). I love the English language, although my own writing talents are somewhat lacklustre. I like learning. There's nothing better than discovering something new and fascinating and being able to share it with other people.

I think Stephen Fry is God.

I think Batman and the Doctor are perhaps the greatest fictional characters created by man.

I think music was perfected in 1879 withGilbert and Sullivan's Major-General Song.

I think comic books and cartoons are perfectly legitimate artforms, capable of producing genuine human drama and emotion. On the other hand, I can't resist a good Talking Gorilla vs. Killer Robot fight.

I seem to think a lot of pretty silly things, huh?

I am geeky, smart...ish, and quirky

I've used this exercise in both my introductory literary studies course (as a means to explain the "real world" implications/applications of close reading) as well as in my intermediate rhetoric course.

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• How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

Published on January 11, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on August 15, 2023 by Eoghan Ryan.

A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . It usually comes near the end of your introduction .

Your thesis will look a bit different depending on the type of essay you’re writing. But the thesis statement should always clearly state the main idea you want to get across. Everything else in your essay should relate back to this idea.

You can write your thesis statement by following four simple steps:

• Start with a question
• Write your initial answer
• Develop your answer
• Refine your thesis statement

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Table of contents

What is a thesis statement, placement of the thesis statement, step 1: start with a question, step 2: write your initial answer, step 3: develop your answer, step 4: refine your thesis statement, types of thesis statements, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about thesis statements.

A thesis statement summarizes the central points of your essay. It is a signpost telling the reader what the essay will argue and why.

The best thesis statements are:

• Concise: A good thesis statement is short and sweet—don’t use more words than necessary. State your point clearly and directly in one or two sentences.
• Contentious: Your thesis shouldn’t be a simple statement of fact that everyone already knows. A good thesis statement is a claim that requires further evidence or analysis to back it up.
• Coherent: Everything mentioned in your thesis statement must be supported and explained in the rest of your paper.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

The thesis statement generally appears at the end of your essay introduction or research paper introduction .

The spread of the internet has had a world-changing effect, not least on the world of education. The use of the internet in academic contexts and among young people more generally is hotly debated. For many who did not grow up with this technology, its effects seem alarming and potentially harmful. This concern, while understandable, is misguided. The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education: the internet facilitates easier access to information, exposure to different perspectives, and a flexible learning environment for both students and teachers.

You should come up with an initial thesis, sometimes called a working thesis , early in the writing process . As soon as you’ve decided on your essay topic , you need to work out what you want to say about it—a clear thesis will give your essay direction and structure.

You might already have a question in your assignment, but if not, try to come up with your own. What would you like to find out or decide about your topic?

For example, you might ask:

After some initial research, you can formulate a tentative answer to this question. At this stage it can be simple, and it should guide the research process and writing process .

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Now you need to consider why this is your answer and how you will convince your reader to agree with you. As you read more about your topic and begin writing, your answer should get more detailed.

In your essay about the internet and education, the thesis states your position and sketches out the key arguments you’ll use to support it.

The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education because it facilitates easier access to information.

In your essay about braille, the thesis statement summarizes the key historical development that you’ll explain.

The invention of braille in the 19th century transformed the lives of blind people, allowing them to participate more actively in public life.

A strong thesis statement should tell the reader:

• Why you hold this position
• What they’ll learn from your essay
• The key points of your argument or narrative

The final thesis statement doesn’t just state your position, but summarizes your overall argument or the entire topic you’re going to explain. To strengthen a weak thesis statement, it can help to consider the broader context of your topic.

These examples are more specific and show that you’ll explore your topic in depth.

Your thesis statement should match the goals of your essay, which vary depending on the type of essay you’re writing:

• In an argumentative essay , your thesis statement should take a strong position. Your aim in the essay is to convince your reader of this thesis based on evidence and logical reasoning.
• In an expository essay , you’ll aim to explain the facts of a topic or process. Your thesis statement doesn’t have to include a strong opinion in this case, but it should clearly state the central point you want to make, and mention the key elements you’ll explain.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

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A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . Everything else you write should relate to this key idea.

The thesis statement is essential in any academic essay or research paper for two main reasons:

• It gives your writing direction and focus.
• It gives the reader a concise summary of your main point.

Without a clear thesis statement, an essay can end up rambling and unfocused, leaving your reader unsure of exactly what you want to say.

Follow these four steps to come up with a thesis statement :

• Ask a question about your topic .
• Write your initial answer.
• Develop your answer by including reasons.
• Refine your answer, adding more detail and nuance.

The thesis statement should be placed at the end of your essay introduction .

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McCombes, S. (2023, August 15). How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved April 11, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/academic-essay/thesis-statement/

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The Golden Age of Dating Doesn’t Exist

Romance in America has never been easy.

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“I wish I knew some young men!” the writer Eliza Orne White declared in The Atlantic ’s July 1888 issue. “I am fully aware how heterodox this sentiment is considered, but I repeat it boldly, and even underline it— I should like to know some interesting men !”

White, a fiction author, was writing in the voice of her 20-year-old protagonist May, but her story had plenty to do with the romantic truths of the day. A 19th-century woman couldn’t just make a Tinder account and message a strapping stonemason two towns over. If she wanted a suitor, she had to choose one from a limited supply of options and then charm him—just enough to encourage interest but not so much that she’d seem like she was trying. When I spoke with Beth Bailey, the author of From Front Porch to Back Seat: Courtship in Twentieth-Century America , she told me that this had long been the classic tale of American courtship: Because women couldn’t conventionally initiate or steer a relationship themselves, all they could hope for was to subtly influence men to act in a certain way. (Even if they weren’t straight, they probably had few options besides marrying a man.) Poor May had to pretend she enjoyed reading Robert Browning’s poetry to catch the attention of her crush, who was leading a club on the poet’s oeuvre; after going through all that trouble, she was deemed a “flirt” by the haughty ladies of the neighborhood.

When you’re struggling in love, it’s easy to feel like you were simply born at the wrong time. Today, media outlets have amply covered “dating-app fatigue” ; some polls have found that the majority of online daters say they experience “burnout” from all that swiping. But courtship has always been hard. Moira Weigel, the author of Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating , told me that for much of early American history, your relatives likely arranged or at least surveilled your budding relationships. Before the Industrial Revolution, the point of marriage was often to unite families so they could share agricultural work , so your dating life was, in fact, their business. That meant little freedom for your own personal canoodling.

Once young people started living and working in cities, it became more common for them to pair up on their own. But that presented its own challenges. As marriage became, more and more, an arrangement of love rather than of logistics, the pressure to find the perfect mate was cranked up and up. “Marriage was not designed as a mechanism for providing friendship, erotic experience, romantic love, personal fulfillment, continuous lay psychotherapy, or recreation,” the sociologist Mervyn Cadwallader argued in a 1966 Atlantic article titled “Marriage as a Wretched Institution.” (Please, Cadwallader, tell us how you really feel.) Perhaps a mere practical contract was enough when people could lean on their family and their neighbors. But in a fractured, urbanized nation, the stakes were higher. “Cut off from the support and satisfactions that flow from community,” Cadwallader wrote, “the confused and searching young American can do little but place all of his bets on creating a community in microcosm, his own marriage.”

For decades, it was hard to know where to even start looking for such a bond. Once more women began attending college in the early 20th century, one clear answer emerged: Young couples more commonly met in school. (Perhaps if May had had that opportunity, she wouldn’t have been so afraid of becoming one of the dreaded “maiden ladies”—single women—in her town, left wandering around with a “resigned expression” and meddling in the affairs of eligible bachelorettes like herself.) But academia wasn’t possible for everyone, nor did it grant all who took part a soulmate. And as the world kept changing, courtship, and its inevitable frustrations, shifted yet again.

In her book, Why There Are No Good Men Left , the historian Barbara Dafoe Whitehead wrote that as women were encouraged more and more to develop their own career, many of them sought to settle down at a later age. But it was harder, by then, to find a partner. “The large pool of eligible young men to which they had access in college—with backgrounds and ambitions similar to their own—has disappeared,” Sage Stossel wrote in a 2002 review of the book. Where were people meant to meet anymore?

In the years that followed, dating apps provided a solution to that problem and created another: the issue of too many options. It’s fair that people feel exhausted by the labor of scrolling and swiping on repeat; I do too. But, of course, we’re also lucky to have a way to access new possibilities—and the agency to pursue them at all.

Love is trying not just because of historical circumstance but also because of human nature. People are complex; finding someone who brings out the best in you couldn’t possibly be simple. In that sense, as much as times have changed, they’ve also stayed quite the same. We keep searching and hoping and failing, pleading and misreading, getting obsessed and getting hurt and getting the ick —and, eventually, starting all over again. Until, if we’re very lucky, we don’t have to.

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How dating sites automate racism.

Sociologist’s new book finds algorithms that suggest partners often reflect stereotypes, biases

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Apryl Williams

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Apryl Williams opened a Tinder account in 2013 and began wondering about the algorithms used by dating apps, how they selected potential matches, and what role race may play in the system.

Now, after nearly 10 years of research, the Black sociologist who studies race, gender, and popular culture has written a book about her findings, “Not My Type: Automating Sexual Racism in Online Dating,” a blend of technical analysis, user interviews, and a historical look at racism and romance in America. 

Williams, a faculty associate at the Berkman Klein Center, sat down Tuesday afternoon to discuss the prevalence of sexual racism in online dating with Kendra Albert of Harvard Law’s Cyberlaw Clinic. Williams said her academic curiosity was sparked by a presentation at a 2015 annual conference for sociologists by Christian Rudder, co-founder of OkCupid, on his site’s sorting and matching algorithms.

“Someone in the audience asked why they were getting so many unattractive people in their match deck,” said Williams, who is also an assistant professor in the Department of Communication & Media and the Digital Studies Institute at the University of Michigan. “Rudder joked, ‘If you think your matches are ugly, that’s probably because you’re ugly.’”

“What dating apps do is automate sexual racism, making it hyper efficient and routine to swipe in racially curated sexual marketplaces.” Apryl Williams

Dating sites, Williams said, use algorithms that attempt to predict attraction and attractiveness, and the sorting and ranking is often racially informed. By matching users with others who look like them, dating platforms both reflect and reinforce racial stereotypes and biases common in American culture, which attribute attractiveness and desirability to certain groups and rank others as less attractive.

“Dating apps allow sexual racism to flourish because they rely on the white hetero normative standards of attraction, desirability, and gender aesthetics to perform the sorting and matching algorithms that we are so comfortable with these days,” said Williams. “But sexual racism existed long before dating platforms came to be. What dating apps do is automate sexual racism, making it hyper efficient and routine to swipe in racially curated sexual marketplaces.”

Examples abound. Dating-app users often select matches based on racial preference, which tends to perpetuate racial biases. According to a 2014 study by OkCupid, users rated Asian men and Black women as less attractive than their counterparts.

“This is anti-Blackness and anti-Asian sentiment,” said Williams, “and these come from deeply rooted historical and contemporary ideas about how we view Asian masculinity and Black femininity.”

Black women are the least desired dating demographic, said Williams, and their experiences in the online dating world are often fraught: They tend to become targets of racism or objects of fetishization. If they’re desirable it’s because of their “otherness” and or “exoticism,” she said.

“Some people want a curated experience,” said Williams. “If they want to be able to say, ‘I only want to look for women who are Latina,’ or ‘I only want white femmes,’ the apps work for those folks. But those on the receiving end are often not having a good time. On the contrary, across the internet, women of color report being targets of racial fetishization.”

Williams urged dating platforms to do more to improve the experience for minority users and protect them when they encounter racism, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism. They should expand their safety protocols for monitoring and reporting such biases, she said.

They should also be more accountable to users by implementing legitimate feedback mechanisms and making data easily accessible. Williams noted the difficulty of acquiring her own information.

“I would encourage everyone to do it,” she said. “Because when you see the data they have on you, it might make you think twice about the trade-offs. I was able to see my geolocation data, all the interest groups that I had linked from my Facebook account, every picture I had uploaded, and every single conversation with a match that I had had.”

Still, dating sites are here to stay, said Williams, because they have become the modern version of traditional matchmaking. “People don’t meet romantic partners in the grocery store anymore,” she said. So her goal is not to discourage use but encourage transparency and awareness.

“Should the user break up with dating apps?” asked Williams. “I would say that the answer is no, but we should think about what they reflect to us. We should think about where our personal preferences come from, and ask if they’re neutral, or if they’re shaped by our larger culture.

“These systems do often fail us, and it’s important to talk about those failures, but it’s also important to celebrate work and community that many find in dating culture,” she said. “And sometimes you find love on the apps, and that’s why they’re worth fixing. I know people love to hate the apps, but they work.”

Williams said she was speaking from both personal and scholarly perspectives, having met her romantic partner on Tinder in 2021. They are now happily married.

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