how to start off a funeral speech

How to Deliver a Heartfelt Funeral Speech: A Step-by-Step Guide

Funeral speeches play a crucial role in honoring the life of a loved one who has passed away. They provide solace to grieving family members and friends, while also sharing the essence of the person’s life and their impact on those around them. A well-crafted eulog y captures the unique qualities of the deceased, allowing attendees to relive fond memories and celebrate the individual’s life.

Writing and delivering a heartfelt eulogy can be a daunting task. The pressure to create the “best eulogy ever” can be overwhelming, especially when you’re dealing with your own grief. The internet is filled with various funeral eulogy examples, from funny eulogy examples that highlight the person’s wit to deeply emotional tributes. Famous eulogies like Earl Spencer’s eulogy for Princess Diana, John Cleese’s eulogy for Graham Chapman, and Oprah Winfrey’s eulogy for Rosa Parks have set the bar high.

Finding the perfect balance between honoring the person’s life and providing comfort to loved ones can be challenging. In this step-by-step guide, we will explore how to write and deliver a heartfelt funeral speech, drawing inspiration from eulogy examples and famous eulogies to help you pay tribute to your beloved family member or close friend.

II. Understanding the Purpose of a Funeral Speech

A. honoring the deceased.

A funeral speech is an opportunity to honor the deceased by highlighting their unique qualities, accomplishments, and the impact they had on the lives of others. The best eulogy ever would capture the essence of the person’s life and character, creating a lasting tribute that resonates with attendees. Famous eulogies, such as Earl Spencer’s eulogy for Princess Diana, John Cleese’s eulogy for Graham Chapman, and Oprah Winfrey’s eulogy for Rosa Parks, serve as inspiring examples of how to pay homage to a loved one.

Your Words, Your Emotions – Our Expertise

Share the warmth, love, and joy of your loved one’s life in a touching eulogy. Let our compassionate writers guide you through the process.

Connect With Our Eulogy Writers Today

B. Comforting the bereaved

One of the primary purposes of a funeral speech is to provide comfort and solace to the bereaved family and friends. Sharing fond memories, funny eulogy examples, and heartfelt stories can help lighten the atmosphere and offer consolation to those in mourning. A well-crafted eulogy helps celebrate the person’s life while acknowledging the pain of their passing, striking the perfect balance between grief and happy memories.

C. Sharing memories and stories

A funeral speech allows you to share personal experiences and stories about the deceased, creating a tapestry of memories that paint a vivid picture of their life. Drawing from short eulogy examples and famous eulogies like Mona Simpson’s eulogy for Steve Jobs and Frank Oz’s eulogy for Jim Henson can help illustrate the impact one person can have on the lives of many. By sharing these stories, a funeral speech can create a sense of connection and closeness among the attendees, reminding us all of the special bond we shared with our beloved family member or close friend.

III. Gathering Information and Memories

A. talking to family and friends.

Before diving into writing the best eulogy ever, it’s essential to gather information and collect memories from family and friends of the deceased. This can help provide a more comprehensive understanding of the person’s life, character, and impact on others. Conversations with close friends and family members can reveal heartwarming stories and funny eulogy examples that might not be known otherwise. These anecdotes can help paint a vivid picture of the deceased, making the eulogy more authentic and relatable.

B. Reflecting on your own experiences with the deceased

In addition to gathering information from others, take the time to reflect on your own experiences and earliest memories with the deceased. This will allow you to recall fond memories and special moments you shared together. Consider how much one person’s life has influenced your own and what lessons you’ve learned from them. Personal stories and experiences can make the eulogy more genuine and create a deeper connection with the audience.

C. Organizing your thoughts

Once you’ve collected stories and memories from family, friends, and your own experiences, it’s time to organize your thoughts and determine the structure of your eulogy. Review various funeral eulogy examples, including famous eulogies like Earl Spencer’s eulogy for Princess Diana, John Cleese’s eulogy for Graham Chapman, and Oprah Winfrey’s eulogy for Rosa Parks. Draw inspiration from these examples while keeping your eulogy unique and tailored to the person you are honoring.

As you organize your thoughts, consider incorporating elements from short eulogy examples, such as quotes, poems, or specific phrases that capture the essence of the person’s character. For instance, Cher shared a beautiful eulogy at Sonny Bono’s British memorial service, where she provided hope and comfort through her words.

By combining the gathered information, personal experiences, and inspiration from various eulogy examples, you can create a heartfelt tribute that honors the memory of your beloved family member or close friend.

IV. Structuring Your Funeral Speech

A. the opening: setting the tone.

Start your eulogy with an opening that sets the tone for the entire speech. You may choose to begin with a quote that represents the deceased, a personal anecdote, or simply an expression of love and admiration. Take inspiration from famous eulogies like Earl Spencer’s eulogy for Princess Diana, John Cleese’s eulogy for Graham Chapman, or Oprah Winfrey’s eulogy for Rosa Parks. The opening should capture the essence of the person’s character and create an emotional connection with the audience.

B. The body: sharing stories and memories

Personal anecdotes.

In the body of your funeral speech, share personal anecdotes that illustrate the person’s life and the impact they had on others. These stories can be drawn from your own experiences, as well as those shared by family and friends. Personal anecdotes help paint a vivid picture of the deceased and offer a glimpse into their personality and values.

Humor and light moments

While grief is a natural part of any funeral speech, incorporating humor and light moments can provide relief and comfort to the bereaved. Funny eulogy examples, such as John Cleese’s eulogy for Graham Chapman or Frank Oz’s eulogy for Jim Henson, demonstrate how laughter can be a powerful healing tool. Be sure to balance humor with sensitivity, ensuring that your jokes and anecdotes are appropriate for the occasion.

Lessons learned and values cherished

Share the lessons learned and values cherished by the deceased throughout their life. This can include their beliefs, passions, and the wisdom they imparted on others. Referencing short eulogy examples or famous eulogies like Mona Simpson’s eulogy for Steve Jobs can provide inspiration for this section of your speech.

C. The closing: expressing gratitude and hope

In the closing of your funeral speech, express gratitude for the time spent with the deceased and the happy memories you shared. Offer hope for the future by sharing how the person’s life will continue to impact others, even in their absence. Use powerful words and phrases to create a lasting impression, aiming to make your eulogy one of the best eulogies ever.

Drawing from funeral eulogy examples, like Cher’s beautiful eulogy at Sonny Bono’s British memorial service, can help you find the perfect balance of heartfelt emotion and hope. By incorporating elements of famous eulogies and personal stories, your funeral speech will pay tribute to your beloved family member or close friend while providing comfort and solace to those in attendance.

V. Tips for Writing a Heartfelt Eulogy

A. be authentic and genuine.

When writing a eulogy, it’s essential to be authentic and genuine in your words and emotions. The best eulogy ever is one that comes from the heart and truly reflects the person’s life and character. Draw inspiration from funeral eulogy examples and famous eulogies like Earl Spencer’s eulogy for Princess Diana, John Cleese’s eulogy for Graham Chapman, and Oprah Winfrey’s eulogy for Rosa Parks, but make sure to infuse your own unique voice and perspective.

B. Use descriptive language

Using descriptive language in your eulogy helps paint a vivid picture of the person’s life and experiences. By employing vivid imagery and evocative words, you can bring memories to life and create a more immersive experience for the audience. Descriptive language can enhance even short eulogy examples, making them more memorable and impactful.

C. Focus on the positive aspects of the deceased’s life

While acknowledging grief and loss is important, focusing on the positive aspects of the deceased’s life can provide comfort and solace to those mourning. Share fond memories, happy moments, and the positive qualities of the person to celebrate their life and legacy. Funny eulogy examples, like Frank Oz’s eulogy for Jim Henson or John Cleese’s eulogy for Graham Chapman, show the power of humor in highlighting the positive aspects of a person’s life.

D. Keep it concise and organized

An effective eulogy is concise and well-organized, guiding the audience through the person’s life and experiences while maintaining their attention. To achieve this, make use of keywords and phrases that capture the essence of the person and their impact, such as “fond memories,” “beloved mother,” “best friend,” or “so much fun.” Drawing inspiration from famous eulogies and eulogy examples can help you structure your speech and ensure that it remains engaging and focused. By following these tips, you can create a beautiful eulogy that pays tribute to your loved one and leaves a lasting impression on those who hear it.

Transform Your Memories into a Beautiful Tribute

Want to make sure your loved one’s eulogy is as unique and special as they were? Our experienced eulogy writers can help.

Get Started with Personalized Eulogy Writing

VI. Preparing for Delivery

A. practice reading your speech.

To ensure that your eulogy flows smoothly and resonates with the audience, practice reading it aloud several times before the funeral. This will help you become familiar with the text, allowing you to convey your message with confidence. As you read, consider the pacing and tone of your speech, ensuring that it aligns with the examples of great eulogies you have researched.

B. Anticipate emotions and have a backup plan

Delivering a eulogy can be an emotional experience, especially when recounting fond memories of a close friend or family member. Anticipate the emotions that may arise during your speech and have a backup plan in place, such as pausing to compose yourself or asking someone else to continue reading on your behalf if needed. By preparing for these moments, you can ensure that your tribute remains heartfelt and genuine.

C. Speak slowly and clearly

When delivering your eulogy, speak slowly and clearly to ensure that your message is easily understood by all attendees. As you share stories and memories, use descriptive language and keywords like “best eulogy ever,” “funny eulogy examples,” and “fond memories” to paint a vivid picture of the person’s life. Drawing from famous eulogies like Earl Spencer’s eulogy for Princess Diana, John Cleese’s eulogy for Graham Chapman, and Oprah Winfrey’s eulogy for Rosa Parks can help you find inspiration for your delivery style. By speaking with clarity and conviction, you can create a powerful tribute that honors the memory of your loved one and leaves a lasting impression on those present at the funeral.

VII. Delivering the Funeral Speech

A. establish a connection with the audience.

Begin your speech by establishing a connection with the audience. Acknowledge the shared sense of loss and grief, and express your gratitude for their presence. This will create an atmosphere of empathy and support, setting the stage for your eulogy.

B. Maintain eye contact and use body language

As you deliver your speech, maintain eye contact with the audience and use appropriate body language to convey your emotions. This will help you engage with the attendees and create a more immersive experience. Be mindful of your posture and gestures, ensuring that they reflect the tone and content of your eulogy.

C. Be mindful of your tone and pace

When delivering your funeral speech, be conscious of your tone and pace. Use keywords like “best eulogy ever,” “funeral eulogy examples,” and “fond memories” to guide your delivery. Draw inspiration from famous eulogies such as Earl Spencer’s eulogy for Princess Diana, John Cleese’s eulogy for Graham Chapman, and Oprah Winfrey’s eulogy for Rosa Parks. Speak slowly and clearly, allowing your words to resonate with the audience.

As you share stories and happy memories, adjust your tone to match the emotion of each anecdote. Strive to strike a perfect balance between honoring the person and acknowledging grief, taking cues from examples like Mona Simpson’s eulogy for Steve Jobs and Frank Oz’s eulogy for Jim Henson.

In conclusion, delivering a heartfelt eulogy is an important task in honoring the life of a close friend or family member. By following these tips and drawing inspiration from famous eulogies and eulogy examples, you can create a beautiful tribute that captures the essence of the person’s life, character, and special bond with their loved ones. Remember to be authentic, use descriptive language, and pay tribute to the person’s life and fond memories while providing hope and comfort to those in attendance.

VIII. Example Eulogies

  a. sample funeral speech for a parent.

Good afternoon, everyone.

Today, we come together in shared sorrow and collective admiration to bid farewell to a wonderful woman, my beloved mother, Susie. We gather here not only to mourn her passing but, more importantly, to celebrate the truly exceptional life she lived and the countless lives she touched in her time with us.

Susie was a woman of endless charm, warmth, and resilience – characteristics that deeply influenced my upbringing and those of my siblings. She had an uncanny ability to bring a sense of joy and peace to any room she walked into, even in times of chaos and confusion. With her radiant smile, she had a way of making people feel seen, heard, and appreciated. She was our North Star, the one who always guided us, always there to help us find our way back when we were lost.

When I think of my mother, a few memories immediately surface.

There was the time, in the depths of a harsh winter, when the neighborhood children were all huddled inside their homes, escaping the frosty chill. On that day, Susie gathered us all for an impromptu snowman-building competition. It wasn’t about the competition, but the unity, the shared laughter, the frostbitten fingers, and the warm cups of hot cocoa after that made it memorable. It was an embodiment of what she was to us all – a beacon of warmth, love, and unity.

Then there was the instance when I came home heartbroken from a failed math test. I remember the tears streaming down my face, the feeling of utter disappointment in myself. But Mom, she didn’t judge or criticize. She held me close and said, “In life, my dear, it’s not about the mistakes we make but how we learn from them.” And with her unwavering support, we tackled those equations together until they were no longer foreign to me. That was Susie, always there to pick us up when we stumbled, to turn our setbacks into comebacks, to show us that failing wasn’t the end but rather a chance to rise stronger.

Susie was also the core of our family, the glue that held us all together. She kept us rooted, reminding us about the importance of love, respect, and understanding in the family. Despite her struggles, despite the storms life threw at her, she never faltered in her dedication to her children and her unwavering faith in us. She was our greatest cheerleader, our most profound teacher, and our fiercest protector.

Losing her has created a void in our hearts, a silence in our lives that cannot be filled. But as we grieve, we also remember. We remember her laugh, echoing in the corners of our home. We remember her wisdom, imprinted deep within our hearts. And we remember her love, a love so powerful and so encompassing that it will continue to guide and strengthen us, even though she’s no longer physically with us.

As we say our final goodbyes today, let us remember Susie for the remarkable woman she was. Let’s honor her memory by embodying the values she taught us: compassion, resilience, love, and unity.

Susie, our dear mother, you are gone but never forgotten. Your spirit will live on within each of us, a guiding light in the dark, a comforting whisper in the wind, a constant reminder of the strength and love we carry within us, because of you.

Thank you for everything, Mom. We love you, and we will miss you always.

 B. Sample funeral speech for a sibling

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Today, we stand united in grief and solidarity, as we bid farewell to a life that touched ours in ways words can barely encapsulate. A life that was too short yet immensely vibrant, filled with love, laughter, and countless shared moments. Today, we remember my brother, my confidante, my friend, Jack.

Growing up with Jack was nothing short of an adventure. He was the peanut butter to my jelly, the yin to my yang. As kids, we were inseparable. We shared not just a room, but countless secrets, dreams, laughter, and even the occasional sibling squabble. But through all the highs and lows, there was always an underlying foundation of unwavering brotherly love.

One story that springs to mind, encapsulating the spirit of Jack, was our great ‘Treehouse Escapade’. We were just about ten and twelve then, and had set our hearts on building the perfect treehouse in the large oak tree at the end of our garden. We had no idea what we were doing, armed only with a sketch on a crumpled piece of paper and the confidence that only children possess. It took us the entire summer, hammers slipping, nails bending, and more than one accidental thump on a thumb. But Jack, ever the optimist, would laugh off the blunders, transforming our little project into a whirlwind of joy.

That treehouse wasn’t architecturally sound, nor was it a spectacle to behold. But it was our haven, a testament to our shared dreams, our determination, and the magic that Jack brought into every task he undertook. He was always the beacon guiding us towards laughter and fun, turning even the most mundane activities into cherished memories.

Jack had a heart larger than life itself. He was the first to lend a hand to anyone in need, the first to cheer you up when you were down. His sense of humor was legendary, his laughter infectious. When he walked into a room, you couldn’t help but feel the energy change – brighter, lighter, better.

But Jack wasn’t just my older brother; he was my mentor, my guide, my protector. I remember when I was about to head off to college, nervous and unsure of what the future held. It was Jack who sat me down and said, “In life, you’re going to face challenges and make mistakes, but always remember that it’s these experiences that shape us. Embrace them. Learn from them. And remember, no matter where you are, you’ll always have a piece of home with you.”

Losing Jack feels like a chapter of our shared book has abruptly ended. Yet, I find solace in the memories we created together. Every shared joke, every heart-to-heart conversation, every shared dream, and even the bittersweet tears, are all fragments of a beautiful mosaic that depicts a bond that can never be broken.

Jack, my dear brother, I am grateful for every moment we shared, for every laugh, every story, every life lesson. You were my north star in the darkest nights, my compass when I lost my way, my anchor in the roughest storms.

As we say our final goodbyes, we carry your spirit with us, your joy, your kindness, your unwavering zest for life. Your life was a blessing, your memory a treasure. You are loved beyond words and missed beyond measure.

Until we meet again, Jack, thank you for being the best brother I could have ever asked for. I love you, and I will carry you in my heart always.

 C. Sample funeral speech for a friend

Dear Friends and Family,

Today we gather to remember a man whose life was as vibrant and dynamic as the waves of the ocean – forever in motion, brimming with energy, and touching the lives of everyone he met. A man who, in his time on earth, defined what it truly meant to be a friend, a confidante, a brother in spirit. We are here to celebrate the life of Mark.

Mark was more than a friend to all of us. He was the epitome of an adventurer, a soul that was forever curious, forever willing to explore the unknown, yet always ready to provide the comfort of familiarity when it was most needed.

One of the most unforgettable adventures we shared together was our unplanned road trip. I still remember that day. It was the kind of day when you feel the world weighing heavy on your shoulders. Mark turned up at my doorstep with nothing more than a mischievous grin and his beat-up old van, affectionately nicknamed “The Wanderer.” He looked at me and said, “The world is wide, and we are young. Let’s go get lost to find ourselves.”

What was supposed to be a day’s escape turned into a week of spontaneity. We slept under the stars, got lost more times than I can count, sang at the top of our lungs to songs we barely knew the lyrics to, and shared stories that made us laugh until our stomachs hurt. The journey didn’t just lighten the load I was carrying back then; it showed me the value of friendship, freedom, and living in the moment. That was Mark, a tornado of spontaneity, pulling you into an adventure you never knew you needed.

Yet, despite his love for adventure, Mark also had a calmness about him that was almost infectious. He had an uncanny ability to quiet the storm inside you with just a few words or a reassuring smile. He was my confidante, the one I could call at 2 AM to discuss life’s quandaries or the latest episode of a TV show we were both hooked on. He knew when to offer advice and when to simply listen, offering silence as a refuge from the chaos of the world.

Mark, my dear friend, your passing leaves a void in our lives that can never be filled. Your laughter, your spirit of adventure, your comforting presence – they are now but cherished memories, echoes of a friendship that will continue to live on in my heart.

As we say our final goodbyes, we remember you not with tears of sadness but with smiles, recalling the joy and happiness you brought into our lives. We remember you as you were – a beautiful soul, an adventurer, a beacon of light in our sometimes-dark world.

In honor of Mark, let’s not dwell in the sorrow of his departure. Instead, let’s celebrate the life he lived and the person he was. Let’s remember his unquenchable thirst for life, his deep and resounding laughter, and his unwavering loyalty as a friend.

Mark, you were the echo in the forest, the breeze on a summer day, and now the whisper in our hearts, forever reminding us of the bond we shared. Though we part ways today, the footprints you left on our hearts will remain. You will be greatly missed, my dear friend. Rest in peace, until we meet again.

Thank you, Mark, for the memories, the adventures, and most importantly, your friendship. We love you and will remember you always.

IX. Conclusion

A. the impact of a heartfelt funeral speech.

A well-crafted and heartfelt funeral speech can have a profound impact on the audience, providing solace and comfort during a time of grief. By incorporating elements from famous eulogies like Earl Spencer’s, John Cleese’s, and Oprah Winfrey’s, as well as drawing from short eulogy examples and funny eulogy examples, you can create a powerful tribute that captures the essence of the person’s life and character. A funeral speech that shares fond memories and celebrates the entire life of a loved one can be remembered as the best eulogy ever, leaving a lasting impression on those who hear it.

B. Final thoughts on honoring the memory of a loved one

Honoring the memory of a close friend or family member through a funeral speech is a significant responsibility. Writing a eulogy that strikes the perfect balance between paying tribute to the person’s life and acknowledging grief can be an emotional and challenging process. However, by focusing on the person’s life, their impact on others, and the fond memories shared, you can create a beautiful eulogy that truly honors their memory. Remember to draw inspiration from examples like Steve Jobs’ eulogy by Mona Simpson or Sonny Bono’s eulogy by Cher, and always speak from the heart. In doing so, you will not only pay tribute to your loved one but also provide hope, comfort, and healing to all those in attendance.

At MemoryCherish, we understand the importance of honoring your loved one’s memory with a heartfelt and professionally crafted eulogy. Our team of experienced writers is dedicated to helping you create a beautiful tribute that captures the essence of the person’s life, character, and the fond memories shared. Let MemoryCherish be your partner in honoring your loved one’s memory with a professionally crafted eulogy. Reach out to us today and let us help you create a touching tribute that celebrates their life and provides comfort to those in attendance.

What makes the best eulogy?

The best eulogy is one that captures the essence of the person’s life, character, and impact on others while providing comfort to those in attendance. Key elements of the best eulogy include:

• Authenticity: Speak from the heart and share genuine emotions and experiences.
• Personal anecdotes: Share stories that highlight the person’s personality, values, and relationships.
• Balance: Strike a balance between honoring the person’s life and acknowledging grief.
• Positive aspects: Focus on the positive aspects of the deceased’s life, including accomplishments, passions, and happy memories.
• Emotional connection: Establish an emotional connection with the audience by using descriptive language and conveying empathy.
• Organization: Structure the eulogy with a clear beginning, middle, and end to guide the audience through the person’s life and experiences.

What is the best speech for a funeral?

The best speech for a funeral is one that pays tribute to the deceased while offering comfort and solace to the grieving family and friends. This can be achieved by:

• Sharing personal stories, anecdotes, and memories of the person.
• Focusing on the positive aspects of their life and the impact they had on others.
• Acknowledging the grief and loss felt by those in attendance.
• Using appropriate humor and light moments to provide relief and healing.
• Ensuring the speech is concise, well-organized, and delivered with sincerity and emotion.

What is the best closing line for a eulogy?

The best closing line for a eulogy is one that leaves a lasting impression, encapsulates the person’s life and legacy, and offers hope or inspiration to the audience. Some examples of powerful closing lines are:

• “May we carry [deceased’s name] memory in our hearts, allowing their spirit to live on through us.”
• “As we say our final goodbye, let us remember [deceased’s name] life and the love they brought to all who knew them.”
• “In the words of [deceased’s name], ‘Live fully, love deeply, and make a difference.’ Let us honor their memory by following this guiding principle.”
• “Though our hearts are heavy with grief, we find solace in the beautiful memories of [deceased’s name] and the impact they had on our lives.”

Choose a closing line that reflects the person’s character and values, and leaves the audience with a sense of comfort and inspiration.

Writing a eulogy during this difficult time is hard. Our professional writers are here to help you capture your loved one’s essence and life beautifully.

Click Here for Professional Eulogy Assistance

Create a Heartfelt Eulogy Now!

Written by our eulogy specialists.

• Delivered in 24 hours
• 100% Money-Back Guarantee
• Written in your words

More Articles From MemoryCherish

10 touching template eulogy examples to honor your loved one’s memory.

Discover the perfect words to honor your loved one’s memory with our collection of 10 touching template eulogy examples. This heartfelt guide will provide you with the inspiration and guidance needed to craft a meaningful tribute that offers comfort and solace to family and friends during this difficult time.

Mastering the Art of Eulogy Endings: 10 Powerful Examples to Inspire You

Uncover the secrets to mastering the art of eulogy endings in our latest blog post, where we share 10 powerful examples to inspire you as you create a touching and memorable tribute to your loved one, providing comfort and closure to all who mourn.

Laughter in Remembrance: 10 Funny Eulogy Examples to Honor Loved Ones

Join us as we explore the power of laughter in remembrance with 10 funny eulogy examples that pay tribute to your loved ones, showcasing how humor can bring comfort and solace to family and friends while honoring their memories.

What's the best way to honor your loved one?

© 2023 memorycherish by sapcoi limited - terms & privacy.

How to Start Off a Eulogy: Examples and Etiquette

As a college instructor and communication expert with extensive nonfiction and educational writing experience, Mary shares tips and advice related to a wide variety of topics.

Learn about our Editorial Policy .

Being asked to deliver the eulogy at the funeral of a beloved friend or family member is an honor, but it can be difficult to find the words to begin. Reviewing a few examples can help you figure out what to say at the start of a meaningful tribute to honor the memory of a loved one.

How to Start a Eulogy

There isn't just one right way to start a eulogy, but there are a few basic etiquette guidelines to consider when deciding how to begin.

• It's possible that not everyone in attendance will know who you are, so introduce yourself at the beginning of your speech.
• Express appreciation to those who are in attendance, while also acknowledging that they too have lost a friend or loved one.
• Specify your relationship to the deceased, so that attendees will have an idea of the context of your relationship with the deceased.
• Provide insight into the overall theme of the eulogy before transitioning to the body of the speech.
• What to Say in Funeral Thank You Notes: Examples, Tips, and Etiquette

Eulogy Opening Examples

To open, say something like: "Good afternoon. My name is [insert your name]. Thank you so much for attending this ceremony honoring the life of [insert name of the deceased]. [She/he] was my [specify coworker]." This will address the first three bullet points listed above. From there, decide how to move forward based on the overall tone and theme of the eulogy. For example:

Sharing Fond Memories

This day is a profoundly sad one, though even in this time of grief I cannot help but reflect on the many wonderful experiences that I - and the rest of you - shared with [insert name of the deceased]. In navigating this loss, it's important for us to remember how much richer our lives have been as a result of our relationship with [insert name of the deceased]. Several of [his/her] closest friends and family members have shared their fondest memories with me. With their permission, I'll share those with you today...

Funeral Poem or Quote

I am heartbroken by the loss of my [specify relationship], but honored to have the opportunity to reflect on [his/her] life with you today. It's important that we acknowledge and fully experience the emotions of this day, on which we have gathered together to say goodbye to [insert name of the deceased]. I'd like to open with a meaningful [ poem , quote , or bible verse ] to reflect on the human experience of grief and this moment in time, as we gather together to say goodbye to [insert name of the deceased].

Family-Focused Eulogy

To [insert name of the deceased], family always came first. I'm proud to have been able to call [him/her] my [insert familial relationship], and to have had the experience of loving - and being loved by - someone who set such a good example of what it really means to put family first. Today I'll share with you just how much [he/she] meant to this family and ask all of you pray for us as we learn what it means to move forward without [him/her] in this life.

Deliver a Meaningful Funeral Tribute

Once you decide what to say at the very beginning of the eulogy, the next step will be to put together the body of the speech. Consider reviewing a few sample eulogy speeches for inspiration.

A Guide to Writing a Funeral Speech: 8 Heartfelt Examples

By: Author Camila Steinfeld

Posted on Last updated: October 20, 2023

Categories Writing Prompts

With the passing of a loved one comes the responsibility of making arrangements for their funeral. This includes deciding who will be saying a funeral speech at the funeral service.

Saying a funeral speech is not something that should be undertaken unprepared. It requires some forethought and planning.

A funeral is an emotional occasion and delivering a speech, unprepared, in front of the congregation is a recipe for disaster = one that will not soon be forgiven.

The ‘Do’s and Don’ts’ of a Funeral Speech

When you sit down to decide what you’re going to say in your eulogy speech, there are a few factors you need to take into consideration.

You May Also Like:

35 Thank You Mom Messages That Every Mom Will Love

In writing your speech , it’s important to demonstrate the personal relationship you shared with the deceased. It’s necessary that you give the congregation an insight into the person’s life as it related to your own.

If you want to relate a situation or event that occurred in the deceased’s life, do so tastefully.

Your aim is not to deliver a stand-up comedy routine, but rather, a poignant and potentially somewhat humorous view of who the deceased was and what they meant to you.

A funeral speech is difficult to deliver if you’re feeling over-emotional. You cannot afford to break down and cry in the moment.  

Eight Carefully Crafted Emails for Your Last Day at Work

That’s not to say that you cannot show your emotions and grief. But you must be able to get through the speech you have prepared.

Finally, don’t use a funeral speech as an opportunity to settle old scores or tell others about unfinished business between yourself and the deceased.

Outline: How to build a funeral speech

20 Messages to Say Thanks for Coming to My Party

Here are some examples of a funeral speech that celebrates the deceased’s life but at the same time expresses the grief of the speaker.

A Eulogy for a Mother

The last thing I imagined myself doing today was delivering the eulogy at my mother’s funeral.

Despite the fact that she was ill, and we knew her passing was inevitable, it has still come as a shock to us as a family.

My mother was a phenomenal woman who possessed reserves of strength and patience that seemed to be infinite.

We, her children, were her pride and joy; she regarded us as the greatest accomplishment of her life. That doesn’t mean that raising us was easy, nor always enjoyable.

My siblings and I gave her a lot of gray hairs along the way. But, regardless of our misdeeds, she would always find it in her heart to forgive us.

And not only that, she would have enough faith in us to believe that we would not transgress again.

One of my fondest memories of my mother is watching her sit down and relax after a long day. She worked hard at her job and came home to run her household. That meant that she had very little time to herself.

And even with the little ‘me time’ she had, she never used it for herself. She’d always be knitting or sewing or making something that we needed.

What our family lacked in money, my mother more than made up for with love.

My mother was the heart of our home, the center of our universe, and the greatest example of unconditional love we could’ve hoped to have.

A Eulogy for a Father

My father was a quiet man. He seldom said much. That’s why, when he did have something to say, we listened.

That may make him sound like he was distant, but nothing could be further from the truth.

He was always interested in what was going on in our lives and was extraordinarily proud of our achievements.

Whether it was scoring a home run in a Little League baseball game or getting a bursary for a university, he delighted in our successes.

As a child, one of the places I felt the safest was in the arms of my father. In fact, right now, that’s the place I wish I was more than anything else.

He was a hardworking man who set a great example for my siblings and me. We learned from him that, regardless of the task, it was not worth doing if you didn’t want to do it properly.

My father had an incredibly dry sense of humor. It took us a while to grasp it because, as children, we didn’t get it.

But as we grew up, we began to understand his wit and laugh at the things he said.  

40 Thank You Dad Messages Every Dad Will Appreciate

He presided over family dinners with a quiet dignity that spoke of a patriarch who took that responsibility seriously.

He was the mediator in our disputes as siblings and always took the high road, refusing to take sides.

He’s left a gap in our lives that we can’t even begin to contemplate filling.

A Funeral Speech for a Best Friend

Jennifer and I met, two gap-toothed first-grader’s, on the first day of school – ever.

Something drew us to each other though. We could never quite figure out what it was, but it’s lasted a lifetime.

As children, we would spend hours with each other without talking that much.

We just understood each other. Even if you put us on either side of a big room full of people, Jennifer and I would always find our way back to each other immediately.

We survived high school together. I’m not sure if either of us would’ve made it without the other. We laughed and cried together so many times.

There were crushes and boyfriends that caused heartache and heartbreak. But, throughout it all, we were always there for each other, no matter what – no matter how many times I needed a shoulder to cry on, Jennifer was there.

We went to different colleges after high school and the careers and lives we pursued after our studies were poles apart. We lived far away from each other and I’ll be honest, we sometimes went for long periods without talking, which I regret.

I’ll be honest, we sometimes went for long periods without talking, which I regret.

But every time we spoke or saw each other though, we picked up where we left off, and it felt like we’d never been apart.

It’s that mutual love and respect that makes me know Jennifer was the best friend I could ever have had.

A Eulogy for a Wife

I don’t know where to begin to tell you about the enormous gaping hole that Samantha’s passing has left in my life.

It feels like half of me has vanished in an instant, and I’m not sure I’ll ever feel whole again.

Samantha was an amazing woman. She had such an infectious zest for life that she could always find the humor or a silver lining of any situation, regardless of the gravity. Anything seemed possible with her attitude.

The way she attacked the obstacles she encountered with such strength and determination was inspirational.

Samantha and I met quite by accident. I walked into her office in error – and there she was: the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She seemed to radiate some kind of magnetic attraction.  

40+ Other Ways to Say I Love You Dearly

I knew there and then that I would never be able to stay away from her, and that my life would not be complete without her in it. She didn’t make it easy.

I had to ask her out several times before she agreed. But when I look back on the life we’ve shared, it was more than worth it.

Our children were the center of Samantha’s world. She took her role as a mother seriously and did an amazing job of raising them to be the adults they are today.

I wish I’d had more time with her, I really do. But I will treasure the years I had with her in my heart for the rest of my life.

A Funeral Speech for a Husband

The thing that made me fall in love with Stephen was his sense of humor. He always made me laugh, even when all I wanted to do was cry.

Whenever I’d get angry or upset with him – for whatever reason – I’d always wind up laughing because he could always make me see the funny side of it.

As a husband, Stephen was supportive of everything I did.

Like when I decided that the patio needed to be refurbished. He was right by my side working so hard to help me, even though I’m sure the last thing he felt like doing was revamping the patio.

In fact, I know he would have preferred to spend his weekend resting and relaxing. But he never let me down. Tired or not, he’d help me with all my ‘projects’.

Stephen endeared himself to me even more when we became parents. He was so proud to be a father and a wonderfully hands-on partner.

I couldn’t have asked for a better father for my children. In fact, there were times I had to ask him to be a bit more hands-off so that I could get to my babies!

The lives of our children and their achievements gave Stephen an enormous amount of satisfaction.

He supported them every step of the way. He picked them up when they fell or failed.

He encouraged them to keep going. And he showed them how to be the resilient adults they have become.

My life was better that I could have ever imagined, and fuller that I ever dreamed because of Stephen’s presence by my side.

A Eulogy for a brother

I’m not going to stand up here and tell you that it was all sunshine and roses between David and myself growing up.

There were times I wished he wasn’t my brother. And I’m sure there were times he wished I wasn’t his sister.

We seemed to have a knack for pushing each other’s buttons, sometimes with some amusing consequences, sometimes not.

From the outset, David stood out as an individual. He did not march to the beat of society’s drum. He had his own internal drumbeat, and he remained committed to it.

One of my favorite memories of David is the one-and-only time my mother asked him to water her indoor plants. True to form, David came up with a plan to make the job easier.

He brought the hose and sprinkler indoors and turned it on. I’ll never forget the look on my mother’s face and the mischievous grin on David’s.

As we grew older, I began to see David for what he truly was. He was a caring brother who’d do anything to protect me.

He let me cry on his shoulder when I went through my first break-up. He was the only one who understood my hurt and confusion when our parents divorced.

David was a loyal and kind person who’d never let you down.

He’d have given anyone the shirt off his back. I’m proud to have called this incredibly special man my brother.

A Funeral Speech for a Sister

My sister Janet never met a challenge she didn’t conquer.

Even as a baby, she showed an exceptional amount of determination. She would turn her mind to an obstacle and work on it until she’d overcome it.

Of course, she drove me crazy. Having a little sister who wanted to tag along was, at times, infuriating.

She would go through the things in my room and leave a mess. When she was about ten years old, she got into my makeup drawer and went completely overboard.

When I caught her, she had rainbow-colored eyelids, forehead and cheeks. Her lips and teeth were full of lipstick, and there was mascara everywhere. I was furious at the time. When she saw how angry I was, she began to cry.

Anytime she’d open those beautiful big brown eyes of hers, silently reminding me that she was my flesh and blood, I couldn’t stay angry with her.

She’d open those beautiful big brown eyes and remind me that she was my flesh and blood. And I couldn’t stay angry with her.

Janet was an exemplary student. She had an incredible work ethic. If she didn’t understand something, she’d work at it until she did.

Losing my sister is so heartbreaking. She had so much left to offer the world.

But wherever she is, I know that she’s looking down on me now with those gorgeous brown eyes and that beautiful smile.

A Funeral Speech for a Close Acquaintance (e.g., a teacher, boss, coworker)

I’d like to start by offering John’s family my sincerest condolences.

Your loss is so great. You had a special man in your midst, and I’m can’t imagine the depth of loss you must feel.

John was my high school English teacher, so you might wonder why I refer to him as John and not as Mr. Robinson; it was at his insistence, as soon as I graduated.

When I first called him Mr. Robinson after graduation, he’d turned around and said, “Is my father standing behind me?” When I replied in the negative, he’d said, “Then why are you saying his name?”

John taught me so much more than English. He taught me how to think critically, and not to take things at face value.  

40 Best Examples for a Thank You Note to Teacher

He showed me the value of questioning that which was placed before me as fact. Thanks to him, I developed analytical skills that I continue to use today.

John’s work ethic influenced me greatly. He would always show us the value of hard work and diligence. I took those lessons to heart.

His passion for teaching English was contagious. I fell in love with the language on a different level thanks to him. He made the written word come alive in class.

He may not have known it, but John fulfilled an important role in my life. He was like a father, an uncle, and a big brother all rolled into one.

He shaped me into the man I am today. There are no words I can use to express my gratitude, which I know would disappoint John. After all, he made sure he taught us a wide vocabulary

How to Give a Meaningful Funeral Speech

• The Speaker Lab
• April 11, 2024

Table of Contents

Standing before friends and family to deliver a funeral speech (also known as a eulogy ) can be daunting. But don’t worry—we’re here to help you navigate this emotional task with poise and sincerity.

In this article, you’ll find practical advice for writing and delivering a eulogy that pays homage to your loved one’s unique journey through life. Learn how to use personal anecdotes to create an intimate connection with your audience, giving voice to shared grief. Whether you want to capture favorite memories or impart lessons taught by the departed, this guide will help you write and deliver a funeral speech that leaves a lasting impression.

Crafting a Heartfelt Funeral Speech

When you’re faced with the task of crafting a funeral speech, it can feel like trying to navigate through a thick fog of emotions. It’s not just about finding the right words; it’s also about painting a picture that captures the essence of your loved one’s life.

Speaking from the Heart

Tips for writing a heartfelt funeral speech often start with digging deep into personal reflections and fond memories. A eulogy is not merely an opportunity to bid farewell but also to celebrate and pay tribute to someone who made our lives richer.

The secret sauce? Sincerity. When you share stories—whether they are funny or poignant—you allow others at the memorial service to see facets of their dear friend or family member perhaps only you knew. This could be as simple as recalling mundane tasks that brought out their big smile, or sharing how this kind person taught valuable lessons simply by being themselves.

The Art of Eulogy Writing

Eulogy writing is more than stitching together notable life events; it’s creating narrative threads from various chapters of an entire life—a tapestry rich with color and texture uniquely theirs. Crafting these narratives means weaving favorite memories into something tangible people can hold onto long after they’ve left the funeral service behind.

You might worry about disrespectfulness when including humorous anecdotes within your short eulogy, but don’t let this deter you. While it can be tricky to pull off, a touch of humor can bring lightness amidst grief. If done thoughtfully, it won’t detract from the solemnity of the occasion.

Finding Inspiration

• A walk down memory lane : Spend time reflecting on moments shared; sometimes inspiration hides in unexpected corners like old photographs or familiar scents that remind you of memorable stories.
• Talk it out : Conversations with other close friends or family members often unearth amazing memories which capture multiple perspectives, making every minute spent recounting tales worth its weight in gold.
• Literary aid : When you’re finding it tough to put feelings into words, lean on free templates for guidance. They spark ideas and make sure nothing’s missed when emotions run high. For a helping hand, check out these free eulogy templates .

Find Out Exactly How Much You Could Make As a Paid Speaker

Use The Official Speaker Fee Calculator to tell you what you should charge for your first (or next) speaking gig — virtual or in-person! 

Delivering Your Funeral Speech with Confidence

Standing before a group of mourners to deliver a funeral speech is no small feat. It’s about more than just reading words; it’s about conveying the essence of someone dear who has passed away, while managing your own emotions and connecting deeply with those around you.

Connecting with Your Audience

The key to delivering an impactful eulogy lies in forging a connection. Making eye contact can bridge the space between speaker and listener, drawing everyone closer into shared remembrance. It’s not just about looking up from your notes but really seeing the faces before you, recognizing their grief as part of yours.

Your body language speaks volumes too. Open gestures invite listeners into each fond memory or story told. A comforting smile during a lighter moment or respectfully bowed head at somber ones can enhance every word spoken, making sure they’re felt as much as heard.

Tackling Nervousness Head-On

Facing nervousness head-on allows you to channel that energy into your delivery rather than letting it undermine you. If public speaking makes you anxious, try grounding yourself beforehand: take deep breaths, feel your feet on solid ground, and remind yourself why you’re there.

To further calm nerves and steady focus during this emotional task, consider having a trusted friend or family member nearby. They could be someone who shares funny stories about the person’s life alongside you or simply provides silent support through their presence—a reassuring anchor amidst stormy seas of emotion.

The Role of Humor in Eulogies

When we bid farewell to a loved one, the funeral speech serves as a bridge between our grief and their legacy. It’s where humor can gently find its place, celebrating life amidst sorrow. The eulogy becomes not just an ode to the departed but also a canvas for painting smiles through tears.

Balancing Humor and Respect

Including funny stories within a eulogy is like walking a tightrope—you aim for laughter without losing footing on respect. Sharing humorous anecdotes does more than evoke chuckles; it captures moments when our dear friend or family member made us feel special with their unique qualities.

A well-crafted joke or amusing tale can demonstrate how laughter was part of the journey you shared with the dearly departed. It’s a testament to the lasting impact they had on lives around them. But always keep in mind that timing is key—funny should never overshadow fond memories at such sensitive times.

A Humorous Eulogy for a Friend

Making someone laugh during these emotional tasks may seem daunting, yet think about all those times spent together. Remembering happy times spent with your dearly departed brings comfort at memorial services. It helps everyone remember the person’s vibrancy.

To ensure your speech strikes this perfect balance, consider these steps:

• Reflect on memorable stories that show off their sense of humor—did they have any catchphrases or signature moves?
• Select tales appropriate for all attendees while ensuring they’re true reflections of who your loved one was throughout his entire life.
• Weave funny elements seamlessly into deeper narratives about lessons taught and amazing memories created over time.

Impact of Laughter in Grieving Process

Humor has healing powers—it’s scientifically proven to relieve stress even amid profound loss. As people gather to mourn at funeral services, sharing funny stories can serve as a brief respite from grief.

Personalizing Your Funeral Speech

Crafting a funeral speech that’s as unique as your loved one was isn’t just about paying tribute. It’s about capturing their essence and sharing it with others who feel the loss deeply.

Incorporating Unique Qualities into a Eulogy

The heart of personalization lies in those quirks and characteristics that made your dear friend or family member truly themselves. To write a eulogy that reflects this individuality, think beyond dates and milestones. Remember how they made mundane tasks laughable or turned ordinary days into adventures? Start by jotting down these little things—their big smile, how they could make anyone feel special, or even their notorious love for burnt toast.

A memorable story can sometimes say more than an entire list of accomplishments. Did you spend time together working on cars every weekend? Or maybe there was that unforgettable trip where everything went wrong but somehow felt so right? These stories allow for laughter through the tears and help celebrate life despite mourning.

Expressing Gratitude in Funeral Speeches

An emotional task indeed is expressing gratitude in your funeral speech. It goes beyond thanking your loved one for being part of your life. It delves into acknowledging the lasting impact they’ve had on you—how lessons taught have shaped decisions made years later or how shared experiences now serve as solid foundation stones upon which lives are built.

To express gratitude effectively in writing funeral speeches involves reflection on moments shared, from significant events like weddings to everyday occurrences like weekly phone calls catching up on each other’s news. Alternatively, it might involve simply appreciating all those times when support was given without needing to ask for help directly because they always knew when it was needed most.

Sharing Memorable Stories in Eulogies

Tapping into favorite memories often reveals much about someone’s character. Perhaps your loved one demonstrated generosity displayed through charity work or kindness through encounters with strangers. Anecdotes like these capture hearts better than mere recitation of facts.

As we carry on, the essence of their spirit guides our steps. We weave their legacy into our daily lives, finding solace in the love they shared and strength in the wisdom they imparted. Their laughter echoes in stories retold, ensuring that although they are no longer physically with us, their influence remains as a beacon for generations to come.

Free Download: 6 Proven Steps to Book More Paid Speaking Gigs in 2024​

Download our 18-page guide and start booking more paid speaking gigs today!

FAQs on Giving a Funeral Speech

What do you say in a funeral speech.

Acknowledge the loss, share fond memories, celebrate their life, and offer comfort to fellow mourners.

How do you start a speech off at a funeral?

Begin with gratitude for gathering together, then ease into cherished stories about the departed.

What is the best opening for a eulogy?

An impactful opener might quote something meaningful or recount an anecdote that captures their spirit.

What is a speech about someone who passed away?

This type of speech pays tribute by reflecting on their life’s impact and expressing shared grief.

Embrace the challenge of a funeral speech. Remember, it’s your chance to honor a life well-lived. Reflect on fond memories and share them with heart. As you speak, consider using laughter to celebrate your loved one’s life and aim to capture their essence through personal anecdotes that resonate. Your words can comfort others by reminding them of what made your loved one unique.

Hone these tips into a heartfelt eulogy read at the final farewell, creating an enduring tribute that keeps their memory alive for all who gather.

• Last Updated: April 11, 2024

Explore Related Resources

Learn How You Could Get Your First (Or Next) Paid Speaking Gig In 90 Days or Less

We receive thousands of applications every day, but we only work with the top 5% of speakers .

Book a call with our team to get started — you’ll learn why the vast majority of our students get a paid speaking gig within 90 days of finishing our program .

If you’re ready to control your schedule, grow your income, and make an impact in the world – it’s time to take the first step. Book a FREE consulting call and let’s get you Booked and Paid to Speak ® .

About The Speaker Lab

We teach speakers how to consistently get booked and paid to speak.  Since 2015, we’ve helped thousands of speakers find clarity, confidence, and a clear path to make an impact.

Get Started

Let's connect.

[email protected]

Copyright ©2023 The Speaker Lab. All rights reserved.

• Dealing with Grief
• Online Grief Counseling
• Loss of Parents
• Loss of Spouse
• Loss of Siblings
• Loss of Children
• Children and Grief
• Relationship Grief
• Alzheimer's Grief
• Disenfranchised Grief
• Coping with Suicide
• Other Types of Grief
• Stories of Grief
• Frequently Asked Questions
• Grief Forum
• Planning a Funeral

Funeral Flowers

Funeral Poems

• Funeral Eulogies
• Funeral Caskets and Urns
• Sympathy Gifts
• Sympathy Baskets
• Sympathy Cards
• Words of Sympathy
• Memorial Jewelry
• Memorial Trees
• Pet Loss Grief
• Pet Memorial Jewelry
• Pet Sympathy Cards and Gifts

Online Counseling

Keepsake Store

Funeral Speech Examples for a Heartfelt Eulogy

We hope our funeral speech examples will inspire you to write a heartfelt eulogy to honour your loved one.

Delivering a funeral speech can be a daunting task.  Quite apart from the challenge of speaking in front of people while in a highly charged emotional state, the task of actually writing the funeral speech can be overwhelming. 

We are here to help you tackle this important job especially if you are in a state of shock from the grief of losing your loved one.

Further down the page there are links to example eulogies for all loved ones, friends or colleagues to give you inspiration.

Sales from links on this page result in a small commission to us, which enables us to continue to provide free content to help the grieving.  

Guidelines for Writing Funeral Speeches:

First of all, we have put together the following simple guidelines to help you to think of things to say: 

• Speak from the heart and say how you feel about the person
• Describe the person's qualities
• Talk about their career, jobs, hobbies and passions
• Talk about their relationships with family, friends and colleagues
• Mention things that you inherited or learned from them
• Perhaps mention some people who will be at the funeral
• Mention a couple of funny stories if appropriate
• Keep it real and don't be afraid of mentioning their less good points - you don't have to put them on a pedestal
• Thank people for coming to the funeral and for their support

Next, read the following two pages to give you step by step instructions on writing the eulogy and giving the speech:  

'How to write a eulogy'  

'How to give a eulogy' 

Eulogy Sample Speeches

All the following links are sample eulogies written about real people.  The ones for a father were written by myself and my brother when my Dad died.  The one for a mother was written by my mother (founder of this website) about her own Mum.  

Many of the others have been written for us by guest writers about their own lost loved ones.  

We hope they will give you some ideas for writing your own moving tribute.  

Eulogy Examples for a Father

Eulogy for a Father-in-Law

Eulogy for a Mother

Eulogy for a Mother by a Daughter

Eulogy for a Mother in Law

Eulogy for a Husband

Eulogy for a Wife

Eulogy for a Grandmother

Eulogy for a Grandfather

Eulogy for an Aunt

Eulogies for an Uncle

Two Eulogies for a Brother

One More Eulogy for a Brother

Eulogy for a Sister

Eulogy for a Best Friend

A Humorous Eulogy for a Friend

Eulogy for a Mentor

Eulogy for a Friend

Printable Eulogy Templates

Finally, to help you with your task of writing your funeral speech, we have some printable templates as a guide to write eulogies for adults and for children. 

Print them out and then fill in the information and stories for your own departed loved one.  

Free Eulogy Templates

Related Pages: 

Planning a Funeral - Step by Step

Funeral Music

How to Deal with Grief

For USA Residents: 

Please help our colleagues at Yeshiva University, USA by joining in their research study:

ARE YOU A CAREGIVER OR HAVE YOU RECENTLY LOST SOMEONE SIGNIFICANT?

#33769566.1  IRB Approved at the Study Level. 21 July 2022

We are seeking individuals who are caregiving for someone with a life-limiting illness and those who have experienced a significant loss to participate in a research study through Yeshiva University. The purpose of the study is to develop a questionnaire to identify those who may be in need of caregiver or grief support in order to ultimately improve family-centered care in hospitals and clinics.

For caregivers and bereaved individuals who would like to contribute to our understanding of caregiving and bereavement, this is a way to make a difference.

For USA Residents only.  Click here to learn more. 

• Grief and Sympathy Home
• Funeral Speeches and Eulogies

Where to get help: 

Have you considered one-on-one online grief counseling .

Get Expert and Effective Help in the Comfort of Your Own Home

The following information about online counseling is sponsored by 'Betterhelp' but all the opinions are our own.  To be upfront, we do receive a commission when you sign up with 'Betterhelp', but we have total faith in their expertise and would never recommend something we didn't completely approve.  

Do you feel alone and sad with no support and no idea how to move forward?  It can be tough when you are stuck in grief to find the motivation to get the most out of your precious life. 

Online counseling can help by giving you that support so you don't feel so alone. You can have someone to talk to anytime you like, a kind and understanding person who will help you to find meaning in life again, to treasure the memories of your loved one without being overwhelmed and to enjoy your activities, family and friends again.

• Simply fill out the online questionnaire and you will be assigned the expert grief counselor most suitable for you.  It only takes a few minutes and you don't even have to use your name.  
• Pay an affordable FLAT FEE FOR UNLIMITED SESSIONS.  
• Contact your counselor whenever you like by chat, messaging, video or phone. 
• You can change counselor at any time if you wish.
• Click here to find out more and get started immediately .
• Or read more about how online counseling works here.  

Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.  

Hypnosis for Grief - 10 Ways It Can Help You

Try a gentle hypnotherapy track to relax the mind. Learn how self-hypnosis can help you cope with grief at any time of the day or night.  

Read more about it here. 

For Remembrance: 

Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.  

Memorial Jewelry to Honour a Loved One

Check out our lovely range of memorial jewelry for any lost loved one.  Pendants, necklaces, rings or bracelets, we have them all in all kinds of styles.  Choose for yourself or buy as a sympathy gift. 

Click here to see our selection

Create an Online Memorial Website

Honour your loved one with their own memorial website.  Share photos, videos, memories and more with your family and friends in a permanent online website.  Free for basic plan with no ads. 

Find out more here. 

Keep in touch with us: 

Sign up for our newsletter and receive: "the 10 most important things you can do to survive your grief and get on with life".

Our free downloadable and printable document "The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life" will help you to be positive day to day.  

The 10 points are laid out like a poem on two pretty pages which you can pin on your fridge door to help you every day! 

All you have to do to receive this free document is fill in your email address below. 

You will also receive our newsletter which we send out from time to time with our newest comforting and helpful information.   You can unsubscribe any time you like, and don't worry, your email address is totally safe with us. 

NEW BONUS - Also receive a copy of our short eBook - '99 Ways to Spot a Great Grief Counselor'.  Available for instant download as soon as you sign up. Never waste money on poor counseling again! 

Join us on Facebook for articles, support, discussion and more.  Click 'Like' below.

Grief and Sympathy

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

• Click on the HTML link code below.
• Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.

Find us here:

Sales made via this site will result in a small commission to us which enables us to continue our work helping those who are grieving. This does not affect the price you are charged and we will only ever recommend services and products in which we have complete faith. 

Expert and Effective Online Counseling - Get Started Now

Self-help hypnosis downloads.

Try gentle therapy using relaxing hypnotherapy tracks in the privacy of your own home.

  Click here to find out more.  

Copyright Elizabeth Postl e RN, HV, FWT  and Lesley Postle - GriefandSympathy.com 2012-2024

Any information provided on this website is general in nature and is not applicable to any specific person.  

For specific advice, please consult a medical practitioner or qualified psychologist or counselor. 

SiteMap      About Us     Contact Us

Affiliate Disclosure    Privacy Policy

Powered by Solo Build It

• Professional Eulogy Writing Service
• Eulogy Guide
• Eulogy For a Husband Example
• Eulogy For a Wife Example
• Eulogy For a Mum Example
• Eulogy For a Dad Example
• Eulogy For a Grandfather Example
• Eulogy For a Friend Example
• Eulogy For a Brother Example
• Eulogy For a Sister Example
• Eulogy For a Son Example
• Eulogy For a Daughter Example
• Eulogy For a Work Colleague Example
• Eulogy For a Aunt Example
• Eulogy For a Uncle Example
• Eulogy For a Boyfriend Example
• Eulogy For a Girlfriend Example
• Cremation Services in USA
• Cremation Services in UK

Professional Eulogy Writing

Eulogy writing guide, funeral speeches for a work colleague, tribute speech to dad from daughter, funeral speech writing advice, how to start off a eulogy speech.

• February 24, 2024

Table of Contents

1. Begin with a moment of silence

What to consider when choosing a quote or poem:, 2. share a quote or poem, 3. open with a personal anecdote or story, 4. set the tone with gratitude and love, 5. address the audience directly, frequently asked questions.

Writing a eulogy can be an incredibly daunting task. After all, you're tasked with honoring the memory of your loved one, and you want to get it just right. One of the most challenging aspects of writing a eulogy is figuring out how to start it. It's important to capture the attention of your audience, express your emotions, and set the tone for the rest of the speech. This article will provide guidance on how to start off a eulogy speech, ensuring that you confidently honor your loved one.

Starting your eulogy speech with a moment of silence allows everyone in the room to gather their thoughts and emotions while mentally preparing themselves for your words. This brief pause communicates respect for the deceased and acknowledges the heavy emotions present in the room. After this quiet moment, you can tactfully segue into your speech, expressing gratitude for the opportunity to share your memories and thoughts.

Incorporating a meaningful quote or poem that speaks to your loved one's character or beliefs can be a powerful way to start your eulogy. This could be a line from a favorite book, a religious scripture, or even lyrics from a much-loved song. By starting with words that held significance for your loved one, you set the stage for a eulogy that truly honors their memory.

• Relevance to your loved one's life, personality, or beliefs
• Emotional resonance with the audience
• Maintaining a tone that is appropriate for the setting

Sharing a personal story that encapsulates your loved one's character is an engaging way to start your eulogy. This anecdote should give the audience a glimpse into the unique, heartfelt qualities that made your loved one special. Be sure to keep the story brief and focused, as your goal is to illustrate the essence of your loved one's personality. By sharing a personal story, you invite the audience into both your own experience and the memories of others.

Need a Eulogy? Get a Personalized Professional Eulogy Written For Your Loved One

Writing a eulogy for a loved one you have just lost, can be both challenging and painful. Alongside the pressure of delivering a meaningful tribute in front of other funeral guests.

Let our expert Funeral Speech Writers create a heartfelt & personalized eulogy, that captures the amazing life and memories of your loved one.

Learn more about our Professional Eulogy Writing Service today, and see how we can help you.

Begin your eulogy by expressing gratitude for the time and love shared with the deceased. Reflect on the positive impact that your loved one had on your life, and thank them for their presence and the memories you cherish. Setting a positive and loving tone from the start helps comfort the audience and reminds them of the importance of celebrating the deceased's life, despite the grief they may feel.

Starting your eulogy with a direct address to the audience establishes an immediate connection. By expressing your empathy for the shared grief and love felt by everyone present, you create a sense of camaraderie and support. This approach helps to create a sense of unity, reminding everyone that you are all gathered to honor and remember your loved one.

How To Start Off A Eulogy Speech Example:

Ladies and gentlemen, before I begin, can we all please take a moment of silence to honor the memory of our dearly departed friend and family member, John Doe. [silent pause] Thank you. My name is Jane, and I am both humbled and grateful to stand here today to share my thoughts and memories of my dear brother, John. I once read a quote that beautifully captures the essence of John's spirit, and I feel it's a fitting starting point for today's eulogy: "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde In so many ways, John truly lived every day to the fullest, making an impact on everyone he encountered. I'd like to share a brief story that demonstrates John's love for adventure...

What is a eulogy speech?

A eulogy speech is an oration given during a funeral or memorial service to pay tribute to someone who has passed away. It usually includes personal stories, achievements, and fond memories that celebrate and honor the life of the deceased.

Who is typically responsible for delivering a eulogy?

Anyone close to the deceased can deliver a eulogy, but it is often a family member, close friend, or a religious or community leader. Ultimately, the person chosen is someone who was significant in the deceased's life and can speak to their character and impact.

How long should a eulogy speech be?

A eulogy speech typically lasts between 5-10 minutes. However, the length can vary depending on the context of the service and the number of other speeches or tributes being given.

What should be the opening of a eulogy speech?

The opening of a eulogy could start with a personal greeting, a thank you to the attendees for coming, and an acknowledgment of the sadness of the occasion. A brief introduction of your relationship to the deceased would also be appropriate.

Can I include humor in a eulogy speech?

Yes, if it's in good taste and reflects the personality of the deceased. Humor can provide comfort and relief during a solemn occasion, but it should be used sparingly and appropriately.

Is it okay to share a personal story in a eulogy?

Sharing a personal story can make a eulogy more heartfelt and engaging. Choose a story that highlights the deceased's qualities, values or the impact they had on your life.

How do I handle my emotions while delivering a eulogy?

It's normal to be emotional during a eulogy. Speak slowly, take deep breaths, and pause if necessary. Remember, it's okay to show emotion, and the audience will understand.

What are some themes I can focus on in a eulogy?

Themes can include love, legacy, achievements, humor, resilience, or service. Choose a theme that resonates with who the person was and what they meant to those around them.

Should I practice my eulogy speech beforehand?

Yes, practicing your eulogy can help you manage nerves, pace your speech, and make necessary edits to ensure it fits within the allotted time and context.

How can I personalize a eulogy speech?

Personalize a eulogy by including specific anecdotes, mentioning notable characteristics of the deceased, using quotations or readings they loved, and speaking from the heart.

What if I get too emotional and cannot continue?

It's perfectly acceptable to be overwhelmed by emotions. If this happens, take a moment to compose yourself or ask someone you trust to step in and continue for you.

Is it important to mention the cause of death in a eulogy?

It's not necessary to mention the cause of death unless it is pertinent to the life being honored or it was a significant part of their story that they or the family wish to share.

Can I use religious content in a eulogy?

Religious content can be included if it reflects the beliefs of the deceased and is comforting to the family. Be mindful of the beliefs of attendees and aim to be inclusive.

How do I conclude a eulogy speech?

Conclude with a heartfelt goodbye, a message of hope, a thank you for the life shared, or an invitation for others to keep the memory of the deceased alive in their hearts.

Should I write out the entire eulogy or use bullet points?

This depends on your comfort level. Writing out the entire eulogy can help if you're worried about becoming emotional or losing track, while bullet points might allow for a more natural delivery.

What tone should I strive for in a eulogy speech?

The tone of a eulogy should be respectful, reflective, and heartfelt. Striking the right balance between solemnity and celebration of life is key.

Is it appropriate to make requests of the audience in a eulogy?

Yes, it can be appropriate to encourage the audience to honor the deceased's memory through acts of kindness or support for a cause important to them.

How can I add a universal message to a eulogy speech?

Incorporate themes that everyone can relate to, such as the importance of love, family, friendship, or the impact one life can have on others.

What should I avoid saying in a eulogy?

Avoid negative stories, airing personal grievances, or anything that would be disrespectful or cause discomfort to the family and friends of the deceased.

Can I include quotes in a eulogy speech?

Including quotes can be a powerful addition to a eulogy, particularly if they were favorites of the deceased or eloquently express what you would like to convey.

What if I'm not a naturally good speaker?

Being a good speaker is less important than the sincerity of your message. Speak from the heart, take your time, and remember that your audience is supportive and understanding.

Writing a eulogy is no simple task, but starting off strong allows you to confidently honor the memory of your loved one. By incorporating one or more of these approaches, you will create an engaging, meaningful, and heartfelt eulogy. Remember, this speech is ultimately a celebration of your loved one's life, so trust your intuition and let your love for them shine through. If you found this guide helpful, please share it with others who are seeking guidance on how to start off a eulogy speech and explore Eulogy Assistant 's other resources to support you during this challenging time.

Looking For Examples? Here Are Some of The Best Eulogies

• Login / Register

• Games, topic printables & more
• The 4 main speech types
• Example speeches
• Commemorative
• Declamation
• Demonstration
• Informative
• Introduction
• Student Council
• Speech topics
• Poems to read aloud
• How to write a speech
• Using props/visual aids
• Acute anxiety help
• Breathing exercises
• Letting go - free e-course
• Using self-hypnosis
• Delivery overview
• 4 modes of delivery
• How to make cue cards
• How to read a speech
• 9 vocal aspects
• Vocal variety
• Diction/articulation
• Pronunciation
• Speaking rate
• How to use pauses
• Eye contact
• Body language
• Voice image
• Voice health
• Public speaking activities and games
• About me/contact
• Resources for eulogies
• How to write a eulogy

How to write a eulogy - step by step

Guidelines to help prepare a loving funeral speech 

By:  Susan Dugdale  

Having a eulogy or funeral speech to write is a gift, and a privilege. Despite the circumstances. 

And perfectly understandable and reasonable questions like the two below can make the task seem extraordinarily difficult.

• Just how do you squeeze a lifetime's worth of memories into one six-minute speech?
• And make it a special, memorable, unique speech to capture the essence of a person?

However, there is a way through. If you follow the step-by-step guidelines below  you  can and will give a sincere and fitting funeral speech or tribute.

I understand about being caught in the maelstrom of feelings triggered by the death of someone you love. I know finding the clarity to make decisions about what to write in a eulogy can feel overwhelmingly impossible.

There is so much we want to say . Trying to compress a whole life into a few minutes seems ridiculous, almost an insult.

But you can do it, and do it well. Let me show you how to write a eulogy, step by step.

What's on this long page

You'll find:

• help to understand the importance of spending time carefully crafting a eulogy
• help to understand the purpose and value of a eulogy
• the background information you need before you begin to write
• what to include in a eulogy  (and what to leave out)
• how to collect the material you need to write it
• the step-by-step process of writing the eulogy
• a free printable fill-in-the-blanks eulogy planning template with examples. (It will guide you through the whole process of collecting material, structuring and writing: making it easier.)
• links to a diverse collection of 70+ sample eulogies to read to help inspire you and give you courage to begin
• how to rehearse and prepare yourself for delivering the eulogy as best you can
• People also ask | 13 FAQs about eulogies with answers (and examples) to set your mind at ease: e.g.,  how to start a eulogy , how to end a eulogy , what makes a powerful, heartfelt eulogy , do you read a eulogy , how to stop yourself from crying while giving the eulogy ...

Please don't rush. Take your time and, go gently. 

Why go through the process of writing a eulogy?

Some people question the need to go through the step-by-step process of writing a eulogy: organizing their thoughts and putting them down on paper or into a document.

They say they would prefer to stand up and speak spontaneously, from the heart, letting inspiration and love for the person they're talking about carry them through.

While that sounds fine, there is a very good reason to sidestep that temptation.

It's because, for many people, giving any type of speech without conscious careful preparation is a challenge. They tend to drift off topic or lose the thread connecting their ideas.

Now, add to that the pressure of the occasion and, understandably, feeling upset. Do you see what might happen?

Preparation will give your eulogy structure - a definite pattern, a beginning, middle and end. That structure will help you contain and express your feelings as you choose to, lessening the likelihood of being overwhelmed by them.

Without the safety of form your funeral speech may become a tearful ramble with no obvious purpose or direction. That is distressing for everybody: yourself as well as those listening.

Taking the time to fully prepare the speech is the best way to express all you want to, the way you want to.

Return to Top

What is the value and purpose of a eulogy?

When you understand what a prepared eulogy can do you'll realize it's a gift to the living. Your words will help everyone, (yourself included), on their journey through the grief of loss.

A eulogy is a reflection

In many ways a good eulogy is like a mirror or a reflection. We listen to the stories told to hear and see in our imagination what the life of our loved one was all about. We want to understand, to have it make sense to us.

A eulogy may not provide answers to difficult questions, but it allows us to focus more clearly.

A memorable speech prepared with loving care celebrates the  whole person : their strengths, their joys, challenges and achievements.

At a time when many are emotionally fragile your courage to stand in front of friends and family and speak will be truly appreciated.

Take a deep breath and follow the steps.

How to write a eulogy: preparation

Before you actually begin writing anything down there are number things to think about and do. Considering each of them prior to starting will make the process easier and your eulogy more effective. 

1. Who are you writing for?

When you stand to give your eulogy, does what you say represent other people beside yourself?

For instance:

• Are you writing on behalf of the immediate family?
• Have you been asked to be the principal spokesperson, or will others be talking too?
• Are you writing as a work colleague, a close friend...?

The answers to those questions put you, the eulogy giver, in context which is important to those listening. If they don't know, they'll want to know how you fitted into the life of the person you are celebrating. It provides them with the background to what you share.

The answers also help you, the eulogy writer, because it defines the scope of what you talk about.

For example, if your relationship with the deceased was primarily work based, you'll reflect on achievements and events drawn from your time working together. You'll leave talking about close family relationships alone because they're not within your sphere. 

If you are the principal or only spokesperson your scope is much broader. You'll want to cover important relationships: family and significant friends, as well as major achievements, and life changing events, leavened with a few well-chosen stories.  

When doing the writing yourself is too difficult

We know life stories can be complicated. And grief can make them harder to tell. If you'd like help, talk to professional eulogy writer, Theresa Sjoquist .

2. How long is a eulogy expected to be?

The general rule is somewhere between 3 to 7 minutes. If you're unsure ask for guidance from the person conducting or organizing the service. It can change depending on the number speakers.

The time allowance governs how much material you can fit into your eulogy.

3. What to include in your eulogy

• A brief introduction of yourself and where you fitted in the person's life.
• Personal stories: anecdotes, songs, poetry, reflections ... Anything at all that speaks true.

4. Subjects to bypass

Be honest without dwelling on or re-living negativity.

The eulogy is not an occasion to 'get even', air unresolved conflicts  or expose private family secrets.

If the person was bowed down with unresolved challenges, talk about them compassionately, if you must. 

Remember a funeral speech is an opportunity to honor and even the most difficult personality or life will have aspects worthy of celebration.

(And while we're discussing what subject matter it's best or diplomatic to avoid: political opinions or religious differences don't belong in a eulogy either.  Neither do cliches: "Time will heal all wounds", "It was for the best", "Their suffering is over now" and so on.)

5. Make a special folder 

Set up a special folder on your computer to store all the material you need to write your eulogy. This is where you'll put your notes for stories you think you might use, scraps of poetry, and so on. Labelling everything clearly and putting it in one place will help when it comes time to write.

6. Ask for contributions

If you're speaking on behalf of others ask friends, family or work colleagues for their recollections and stories to add to your own.

Get them to write their ideas down in a document and send it to you which you can then file in your eulogy folder. If they can't do that, talk with them, and note their thoughts yourself.  

There is no need for you to carry the responsibility of putting together the eulogy alone. Let others share in the privilege of shaping the speech to honor your loved one's life.

7. Do you want to include a poem or a quotation?

Many people want a piece of poetry or a quotation to help them express what they wish to say.

Here are three possible sources to explore:

1. Browse through my collection of funeral poems and a large selection of widely diverse inspirational quotations . I've made recordings of a number of the most frequently read. Here's the link that will take you to them, including Funeral Blues by WH Auden: 8 readings of best-loved funeral poems .

2. In your quest for a quotation don't overlook the person whose life you're celebrating. Perhaps there are memorable phrases that were uniquely their own. May be it was a line from a song or a poem.

For example, my mother had a signature saying. "Let there be peace and let it begin with me"  inspired her throughout many years of a sometimes very difficult life.

3. What about writing your own poem? It's not as difficult as you may think and you'll have something very special and original to offer. You can find out here how to write a poem in free verse.

8. Writing the eulogy: tone

What tone do you want to use? Do you want it to be solemn? Do you want it to be lighter, perhaps even humorous? Or do you want a balance of both?

To help decide, ask yourself: what would your loved one have wanted? Be guided by your answer.

There are no "right" or "wrong" ways. This a decision for yourself, the family and friends.  A life contains joy as well as sorrow and laughing through tears can be a real reflection of that.

9. Please tell the stories!

Do resist the urge to list in chronological order achievements or milestones. These can be dry, dull facts.

Instead tell the stories about the achievements or milestones. They may have been heard many times but in their retelling the essence or life force of your loved one lives on. This is the real person who people want to hear about and remember. Lists don't give that.

10. Ordering the content you've collected

Once you've got everything together you think you need, go through the collection of reflections, stories, quotations and poem fragments etc., selecting what gives an accurate and balanced portrayal. You won't be able to include everything but what you do choose, you'll want to resonate with the 'truth' of the person.

Put your choices of material in the order you want them to come in when you write the eulogy.

(If it helps either print out all the documents in your folder or put the headings of each one on post-it notes and move them around until you are happy with how they are sequenced.)

The order might look this:

Introduction:

Statement of who I am and relationship to loved-one Verse or quotation

• Story one, or reflection, or poem or song or reading
• Story two, or reflection, or poem or song or reading
• Story three, or reflection, or poem or song or reading

Conclusion:

Restatement of main message or theme from body of eulogy Closing snippet of poetry or quotation

Where to start writing the eulogy

Begin with the body of the funeral speech.

This is where you will be sharing the stories you've selected and ordered making this person unique, special and loved.

If you have notes but can't get straight into writing, telling your story to yourself or to another person while recording it may help kick start the process.

Remember to go straight to the core of each story. Long preambles are not needed. Include enough to make sense and no more.

For example:

(This is a true story. I didn't use it for my Mother's eulogy but telling it here is a little like giving her another small one years later.)

Leaving home and the yellow blouse

"I'm going to tell you the story of the yellow blouse.

I was 18 and leaving home. We had very little money and certainly none for luxuries and that's what new clothes were. Ours were hand-me-downs from cousins. 

What money Mum got from her government paid widow's benefit each week was carefully placed in a series of jars in a cupboard above the sink in the kitchen. Each had a label. This was for 'Food', that for 'Electricity' etc. The jars were often empty but miraculously, our stomachs never were.

The day came for going. I had made 'new clothes' from old ones. They were folded, ready for packing. As I closed the lid on my suitcase, my mother gave me a parcel. Inside was a new store-bought yellow blouse, beautifully sewn and made of fine cloth. 'A girl must have at least one quality garment.' she said. It was extraordinary. I knew the path to that blouse had been 5 cents by 5 cents by 5 cents over months. I also knew this was love."

Link your stories/poems/songs/readings/quotes together so one leads into another. Think of them as beads you are threading to form a necklace. Each is part of the whole.

Write the conclusion

What enduring message do you want your listeners to carry away with them?

It may be a simple thank you for the life you've shared with your loved one or it could be a special quote expressing an idea or feeling you know is appropriate. As this is the last opportunity to pay tribute think carefully. You'll want to get it as "right" as you can.

Write the opening

Now you have the rest of your eulogy it will be easier to write the opening.

Unless you're being introduced by someone else be sure to include who you are at the very beginning.

Once that is done think about the major events, relationships  and general characteristics making up this life special.

"Sophie was my Mother but she was also Mother to four more: Fred, Isobel, Warren and Gwen. Many of you know her as aunt, cousin, friend and colleague but whatever the relationship, we all know her as the woman who played many roles.

She was the bright and beautiful young women who married my father after a war-time whirl wind romance. She was the determined young bride who taught herself to cook and sew.'  (And so on ...)

'We all have memories of Sophie. I want to share some of my most precious with you now ...":

This leads into the body of the speech comprised of the specific stories you plan to tell.

Would you like to read a few eulogy examples before you begin?

They may help you decide what you want to do, and give you the courage to start. Reading what others have done is a good thing to do. 

Here are two eulogy examples written by me and we also have a growing and wonderfully diverse collection of 70+ funeral speeches contributed by site visitors from all around the world.

Would a printable eulogy planning template help?

I've taken all the information on this page about the step by step process of writing a eulogy, and put it into a free 15 page printable.  You'll find instructions and examples alongside fill-in-the-blank slots for you to enter what you want to say. 

Complete it and you'll have a well structured first draft. Of course, you'll still need to edit, polish and rehearse it, but you'll be well on your way.

Make your task easier: get the eulogy planning template .

Writing a eulogy: practice & rehearsal

Use the record function on your phone and read your first draft out loud as if you were delivering it. This will help you make sure that what you've written makes sense. 

(It also helps if you have someone listen to you to give you feedback. A pair of independent ears will pick up things you might otherwise miss.)

Play back your recording and listen carefully.

• Does your material flow smoothly from one idea to the next?
• Are the opening and closing remarks fitting?
• Have you varied your language and sentence length to keep it interesting to listen to?
• If you hear yourself repeating the same phrases over and over again, either cut them out or find other language to express the idea.
• Listen to hear if you are rambling without real point or direction  or  you've repeated the same or a similar story without realizing it.
• Does your speech fit the time allowance? (If you've not been given a time allowance, approximately 3-7 minutes is about average. Although this may seem very brief, it does have advantages. Firstly, it gives other people who may be speaking time to do so. Secondly, it focuses your speech and helps you to decide what is important to say.)  

Now make any adjustments needed and write your second draft.

Go through the same recording/timing process again and if possible, get someone whose opinion you trust to listen and give you feedback. 

When you're satisfied, prepare your final copy.

You'll find comfort and support in this free series of inspirational messages. They're my gift to you.

Suggestions for delivering your eulogy

These will help ensure you give your eulogy the way you want to.

Prepare your notes for printing

If you've written your eulogy in a word document on your computer, BEFORE YOU PRINT IT OUT:

• Make sure the font is large enough to be easily read at a glance.
• Double space each line for easy reading.
• Number your pages clearly.
• Select single-side printing.
• If you're using a poem or reading include the text in the body of your notes.   It's simpler to deal with one item (your notes) rather than try to manage several under pressure.  But if you must use the original text, make sure you bookmark your place clearly, so you do not have the added pressure of trying to find the right page while everybody waits.

At the venue

• If it's available, use a lectern or stand for your notes rather than hold them. You can either stand to one side or behind it. When you hand-hold notes the temptation to rattle, or mask your face with them, might be too much to withstand.
• Practice breathing deeply before you stand to talk to calm yourself. You'll find more information on how to breathe to release tension here.
• Have a glass of water available.
• Do not worry if you "wobble" or falter. Tears and being unable to speak for a moment or two are natural. Do not fight them. Have a tissue handy. Blow your nose, wipe your eyes, have a sip of water and carry on. People will not judge you. Instead, they will admire your courage and a few tears are not a loss of dignity. 
• If you do have to stop, do not apologize. Nobody is expecting a flawless performance.   The British have a saying: " stiff upper lip" . It means concealing or keeping feelings under control. In the midst of great emotional or physical pain a " stiff upper lip"  hides the inner turmoil. This is not being asked of you and is expected less and less of the British too! Being able to acknowledge and show feeling openly is healthy and honest. The ideal is to  ride the wave  and continue.
• If you want to, take a support person to stand beside you. Their presence will be a steadying influence, and if you have to take a moment or two out, they'll give you the strength to carry on.
• If you have time, practice in the venue. There are fuller guidelines on  how to rehearse a speech  here.

People also ask: 13 FAQs about eulogies with answers

Below are some of people's most frequently asked questions about eulogies. I've answered each of them with examples and ongoing links to either pages of my own or others I found offering good useful information.

(N.B. Some of the questions have already been answered above.) 

How do you start a eulogy? Give me an example introduction.

There is more than one way to begin a eulogy. Have a look through these four example openings to see if can find one you’d like to adapt to fit the eulogy you are writing.

1. Use a habitual phrase or saying

Use a habitual phrase or saying that everyone who knows the person will immediately recognize.

As an example, my mother had, ‘Let there be peace and let it begin with me’ written out on numerous note cards. She placed them in prominent positions everywhere: on the dashboard of her car, the fridge door, on the kitchen windowsill, in her bag... That saying could easily be used as an opening. E.g.

‘Let there be peace, and let it begin with me’. That was Pauline’s signature saying. Those cards were everywhere: in any of her cavernous handbags, in the pockets of her coat, on the back of the toilet door...

I’m Susan, her eldest daughter. Thank you for coming together today to celebrate her life.’

2. Use a rhetorical question

Use a rhetorical question that you know will trigger happy memories in many of the people present.

‘Who can ever forget Aunt Mary’s special occasion cakes? Birthdays, Christmas, christenings, anniversaries and more. As she said, anything went better with cake.

Hers were off the scale good: good to taste, good to look at, good to share. Sublime.

I’m Henry Smith, Mary’s nephew. I was lucky to be on the receiving end of quite a few. And now it’s my privilege to give her eulogy.’

3. Use a list of qualities and habits

Use a list of qualities and habits that everybody will recognize as being true of the deceased. For example:

"Kind, lover of ridiculous hats – the sillier the better, fearless, honest, and for many of us, an inspiration. That’s my Uncle Andrew.

I’m Lucy. My Mother, Stephanie, is Andrew’s older sister.

4. Immediately establish your connection or relationship

Immediately establish your connection or relationship to the deceased. This is useful if you are talking to a very large group of people, many of whom don’t know you, or where you fitted in their life.

"My name is Robert Naido. I was extremely fortunate to work alongside Ben for many years at Timberlake High school. As a young inexperienced teacher, he was my mentor, and inspiration. He is why I am still teaching, and it’s also why I feel privileged to be asked to share my memories of him with you today."

What should I say in a good eulogy?

A ‘good’ eulogy is one that both satisfies and serves the people listening to it. As you speak your words allow them to connect with their own memories and feelings.

You’ll see them nodding their agreement, smiling, and perhaps wiping away a tear or two because what you’re saying is an honest, sincere, moving combination of humor and seriousness that genuinely reflects the person they knew and loved. It’s a careful selection stories and reflection, perhaps anchored around specific milestones, that will be particularly meaningful to everyone present.  That’s vastly different from a simple recitation of key milestones.

For example, something like this:

Amy was born in 1962 in Brooklyn, New York. She is the eldest child of Fred and Myrtle Black. The family moved to...etc., etc.

A good eulogy also has structure, a beginning, middle and end. It is not a shambling collection of hastily collected thoughts, and it is approximately 3 – 7 minutes long.

Following the guidelines above and using the printable eulogy planner will keep you on track.

What are some examples of a eulogy?

There are over 70 examples of eulogies on this site. They’ve been sent to me by people from all over the world: UK, USA, South Africa, Philippines, India, Australia, and more. There are eulogies for mothers, fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, sons, sister, brothers, colleagues, and friends. Some are brief. Some are longer. Some are a poignant mix of humor and grief. All of them have been submitted by their writers to help people who had a eulogy to write. They understood having examples to read lessened the burden. Use this link to find them: examples of a eulogy .

What are the three parts of a eulogy?

The three main parts are a beginning, a middle section and an ending. This is the same three part structural format that underpins any successful speech.

In the beginning (introduction) you will acknowledge or greet everybody present, introduce yourself, state your relationship to the deceased, thank people for coming, and use a quotation/signature saying, rhetorical question or some other opener if you choose to.

In the middle section what you share will depend on whether you are the only person giving the eulogy, or one of several.

If you are the only person a brief biography covering date and place of birth, key childhood/birth family members and events, plus giving the names of the person’s spouse/partner, children and grandchildren is useful. This information provides context for the those who met the deceased outside of their immediate friends and family circle for example, in a workplace, as a member of a club etc.

Then add stories, memories, significant achievements, note talents, hobbies and passions, including any unique and special qualities.

If there are multiple people speaking, you can go straight to your stories and memories.

In the ending talk about what the deceased meant to you, what you gained and learned from them being in your life. If you choose to, add a brief reading or quotation before closing with a last farewell. *

* If you’re representing the whole family, or any other group of people, you will need to broaden what you say to make sure you include all the people who need to be. For instance, if it's family, what they meant to their partner, daughter, grandchild, and what was learned by those people. They need to see the importance of their relationship with the deceased reflected in what you say.

How to end a eulogy

Answer:   Here are four examples of ways to end a eulogy. Each is a heartfelt, sincere summary of the speaker’s loving regard for the deceased. They all come from eulogies their writers sent to me to share.

1. Eulogy for Dad by Byron Tweedy

This is the closing paragraph from Byrona Tweedy’s eulogy for her Dad.

“I’m so fortunate and grateful that I had a father so capable of expressing his love for our family and me. Although he will be forever missed, I feel comforted knowing that he accomplished more than he could have dreamed in life. I’ll hold you in my heart forever, dad; I love you.”

Read the whole of her eulogy for her father: Eulogy for Dad

2. Eulogy for my Grandmother Bertha

Here’s the last part of Craig Curran-Morton’s eulogy for his Grandmother.

“...Perfect She was perfect. Perfect in every respect. - Her laugh - Her smile - Her big kisses - Her hugs They were perfect and she was the perfect grandmother. And we are all a little closer to perfection to have had her in our lives. I love you grandma. You will be missed.”

Read Craig's funeral speech: Eulogy for my Grandmother 

3. Eulogy for my Grandad, my Friend

Corinne McPartland added some lines of a poem to the ending of her eulogy for her grandfather:

'Seeing as you loved a poem to fit an occasion, I will now leave you with a few lines of one I found, which I hope describes how you may have passed from death to eternal life:

"On with the dance! Let joy be unconfined; No sleep 'til morn, when youth and pleasure meet, to chase the glowing hours with flying feet." I love you, Granddad and am glad we have shared a friendship that has overlooked age, created so many wonderful memories and one that will last a lifetime - until we meet again.'

Read Corrine’s eulogy for her grandfather:  Michael McDonnell: my Grandad, my Friend

4. Eulogy for my co-worker Donna

James Lang wrote this as the ending to his eulogy for his colleague and friend of many years, Donna:

“Over the last year and a half of her life, whenever I saw Donna, on parting she would say, “Love you much”. Donna, I love you much. I am a better person for having you in my life. Thank you for everything that you did for me.”

Read eulogy for my co-worker Donna

What makes a powerful, heartfelt eulogy?

This is a similar question to the one above: What should I say in a 'good' eulogy?

A powerful, heartfelt, or good eulogy shares the same core characteristic. That is bringing the person to life in the imagination of listeners through telling carefully selected stories everyone can relate to. They can be funny, poignant, about significant milestones...Stories well told are much more powerful than a list of dry 'did this', 'did that' facts.

Have a look at these for examples of great storytelling. They’re each powerful eulogies in their own ways.

• Eulogy for My Mother-In-Law and her Lasagna   by Jo Lloyd-Davies
• Eulogy for my brother with Downs Syndrome by Cyprian Payne 
• Jimbo Bro - my wee brother  by Chery

What should you not put in a eulogy?

Answer: A eulogy is given in public: to anybody who decided to come along to the remembrance service.

What doesn’t belong in it are private matters concerning the deceased, their family members, your personal judgments about aspects of the deceased’s life, comments about differing philosophical, political or religious beliefs, cliches like ‘it was for the best’, their ‘suffering is over now’, and ‘time heals all wounds’, tales of raucous or bad behavior, accounts of unresolved conflict, or stories focusing on yourself.

What you say needs to be appropriate for everyone to hear which doesn’t mean minimizing or hiding from difficult truths. It means considering why you’re speaking (giving the eulogy) and choosing your words to fit the occasion: respectfully.

What are the steps to writing a eulogy?

Briefly, the 3 principal steps to writing a eulogy are:

• collecting the material you need: the stories, readings, poems...,
• writing it using a 3 part structure: introduction, body (middle) and conclusion,
• rehearsing it

The guidelines above will lead you through the entire process from beginning to end-delivery – giving the eulogy. 

Do download and use the eulogy planner. It will make the process less stressful, simpler and easier for you.

How long should a eulogy be? How long should a eulogy be at a celebration of life?

Whether it’s a celebration of life, or a funeral service, the optimum length for a eulogy is between 3 – 7 minutes. If you are the only person speaking that could perhaps be extended to 10 minutes.

To be sure, before you prepare the eulogy find out from the person organizing the celebration/service what time allocation has been put aside for your speech. Then use that as a guide.

For more see this article: How many words per minute in a speech . You’ll find a helpful quick reference guide for number of words required for a 1 through to 30 minutes, depending on whether you talk at a slow rate, a medium rate or a fast one.

Please note, it’s only by saying your speech out loud as if you were delivering it, and timing it as you do, that you’ll find out how long it actually takes.

Who usually gives, or says, a eulogy?

Answer: Who gives a eulogy at a funeral service varies hugely. Sometimes there is one speaker, and sometimes there are many. It depends entirely on the type of service it is, as well as how it’s being organized.

For a full answer please see: Who speaks at a funeral? Who gives the eulogy? 

What do you say at a celebration of life?

Answer: What you say depends on what’s fitting for the role and the relationship you had with the person who has died. You could, for instance, offer a short speech (eulogy), a poem, a song, an amusing story, or a favorite memory.

The key thing to remember about what you choose to say, is that the event is a celebration.

A celebration of life service is an opportunity to give thanks, to honor and acknowledge the positive presence of the deceased in your life. It’s about the special qualities and talents making them a unique person.

If you’ve been asked to speak, or want to speak, and don’t know what to say, or where to begin, ask the person organizing the event for more information. For example:

• How long to speak for - one minute?  Two minutes? Three minutes?
• What they’d like you to cover
• Where you come in the speaking order, if there is one.
• And then, read some eulogy examples to get an idea of the kinds of things people talk about.

Do you read a eulogy?

Answer: For many people the safest way to deliver a eulogy is to read it. That means having everything they want to say written out word-for-word in a document, and then printed off.

When they stand to speak, they’ll read from a copy of their eulogy placed on the lectern or pulpit in front of them. If they become temporarily overwhelmed by the enormity of the occasion, the complete text is a reassuring presence, enabling them to pick up from where they left off to take a breath, wipe their eyes, or blow their nose, relatively easily.

Opting to read rather than give the eulogy from either memory or extemporaneously using note, or cue, cards does not mean that you don’t need to practice. You will deliver your eulogy so much more effectively if you rehearse it. That means reading it out loud as many times as you can before you have to actually deliver it.

When you are familiar with the flow of the text, you’ll be far less likely to get flummoxed, overcome by emotion, when you come to particularly difficult passages to say, and if you do, you’ll recover more quickly.  Repeated practice helps a great deal.

For more on how to read a speech effectively

How do you get through a eulogy without crying?

Answer: The very first thing to acknowledge and accept is that tears at a funeral service are natural. They’re a very normal response to grief.

The fear lying behind the question is not so much will you shed a few quiet tears and have to pause to catch your breath before you go on.

It’s more along the lines of, will I stand up to give the eulogy and then be completely overwhelmed by grief? Will I sob uncontrollably, be unable to get any of the words out and have to sit down?

Feeling anxious about that happening is totally understandable. You want to do your very best to honor your loved one, and yet you feel so utterly vulnerable.

Here are a few suggestions I know will help.

• Remind yourself tears are part grieving. If you cry no one is going to think ill or less of you at all. Be kinder to yourself. There’s no need to bite back your emotions.
• Practice a lot out loud. Hearing yourself say the words makes them familiar. Even the difficult parts become easier to say. The shock you feel is a little less each time. It no longer sweeps you away. You may wobble a little, but you can recover and continue.
• Breathe. When we are tense or anxious, we hold our breath and unfortunately, that makes us feel even more anxious. To help yourself, as you are practicing reading aloud from your script, use the punctuation as an opportunity to take a breath. At the end of each sentence there is a period, or full stop. Use it to take a breath. When you see a comma, take a breath. Between paragraphs, take a breath. (My article How to use pauses effectively  explains the process in more detail.) And if you do feel the emotion rising, your eyes beginning to tear up and your throat tightening, stop. Take a moment to take a long slow in-breath, followed by a long slow out-breath. Repeat if necessary, and then, when you’re ready, pick up from where you left off. For more on breathing well and breathing exercises  
• Make sure the copy of your eulogy is very easily read. You don’t want to be scrabbling around trying to find your place if you had to stop for a moment. Each page needs to be printed single sided, numbered clearly, with 1.5 line spacing, and in a large clean font you can read at a glance.
• Either have a support person to stand beside you as you speak for reassurance or have one sit where you can see them. Their role is to encourage, to give you strength, to remind you to breathe. If absolutely necessary, they can take over from you.

What is the most comforting thing to say at a funeral?

Answer: Many of us struggle to find the right words to say to those who are recently bereaved. It’s not because we don’t care, but because we do.

So what can you say, that is genuinely comforting?

For examples of what not to say, and what to say please see: Funeral words: examples of comforting things to say at funerals .

You'll find out how to avoid using platitudes and to say something meaningful, honest, and kind.

In conclusion:

Remember having a eulogy to write is both a gift and a privilege.

It's a gift twice over. Once because you are giving your energy, time and love to honor the life of your loved one. And secondly because it will aid the healing process for everybody including yourself.

Giving a eulogy is a privilege because it signifies your value or importance in the life of the loved one and in the lives of family and friends. Being asked to speak shows trust and respect. You are being trusted to encapsulate a life fittingly and deliver the unique essence of the person everyone loved publicly.

I hope these notes are of service to you. If you have questions, ask them through my contact form here. I would be happy and honored to assist.

The quote above is widely attributed to Goethe. Despite disagreement over its origin, the sentiment expressed is fitting for your task. Have courage, and begin.

Sharing your writing

If these pages helped you to write - the sample eulogies in particular, please consider sharing what you wrote.

People are always searching for eulogy examples to help them begin their own writing process. If you could share, it would be very much appreciated.

Your eulogy would feature in a special section - free sample eulogies It would have its own page and appear just how you want it to.

Do think about it. If you have any questions, please ask them.

speaking out loud 

Subscribe for  FREE weekly alerts about what's new For more see  speaking out loud  

Top 10 popular pages

• Welcome speech
• Demonstration speech topics
• Impromptu speech topic cards
• Thank you quotes
• Impromptu public speaking topics
• Farewell speeches
• Phrases for welcome speeches
• Student council speeches
• Free sample eulogies

From fear to fun in 28 ways

A complete one stop resource to scuttle fear in the best of all possible ways - with laughter.

Useful pages

• Search this site
• About me & Contact
• Blogging Aloud
• Free e-course
• Privacy policy

©Copyright 2006-24 www.write-out-loud.com

Designed and built by Clickstream Designs

• Become a co-owner

Follow Untangle:

How to write a eulogy.

One of the most challenging parts of funeral planning is writing a fitting tribute to your loved one.

How can you find the words to capture just how much your friend or family member means to you? It’s harder still because you’re grieving, so emotions are running high, concentration is low, and the pressure may be overwhelming. That’s why we’ve created this guide on how to write a eulogy, complete with examples to get you started. 

Jump to section:

How to write a eulogy – 6 tips

An example structure.

• Eulogy for a parent
• Eulogy for a sibling
• Eulogy for a grandparent
• Eulogy for a friend

More eulogy examples

What is a eulogy.

A eulogy is a short speech given at a funeral or memorial service for a person who has died. The tradition originates from ancient Greece, and the word literally means “praise”. The key is to write the eulogy in a way that does their life justice and respects their loved ones’ memories and feelings of grief.

Who should deliver a eulogy?

Speaking about someone who has died in front of their family and friends is a courageous thing to do. If you feel daunted by the prospect, ask people around you for support. While a close relative or friend usually writes the funeral speech, it can also be delivered by an official, such as a religious leader. Do what feels right and keep it flexible. For example, if you want to write the eulogy but worry about breaking down in tears , ask someone else to be on standby to read it for you if need be.

1. Make it personal

Introducing yourself in relation to the person you are remembering can be a good place to start. Describe what they meant to you, and what qualities defined them in your eyes. This will establish a connection with other people at the service and put you in the picture for those who might not know you very well.

2. Cover the essentials

When thinking about how to write a eulogy, it’s a good idea to structure it with a beginning, a middle and an end. And while it is not the same as an obituary, it usually includes brief aspects of the late person’s life, such as their early beginnings, their education and career, and particular skills, achievements or interests. Saying something specific about their family life, and mentioning their partner and/or children by name, can feel particularly important to their closest relatives.

3. Get personal stories from others

Just like our relationships with a particular person differ, so do our feelings about them when they die . To make sure you write a good eulogy that will feel meaningful to others, ask a few close friends or relatives to contribute by sharing a favourite memory, personal story, or anecdote . A range of perspectives will enrich your speech and help strike the right tone right with your audience. You might also discover a true gem in the process, like a beautiful quote that perfectly captures your loved one’s personality, qualities, and quirks.

4. Consider the length

How long should a eulogy be? Some funeral speeches are very brief and there are no set rules for length, but 3-5 minutes is common. Make it long enough to properly honour the person and say what needs to be said, in proportion to the rest of the funeral service. To get it right, try reading it out loud a few times while timing yourself and editing accordingly.

5. Make it honest

It is possible to talk about someone’s achievements and qualities without glorifying them and mention shortcomings or disappointments in a kind and accepting way. None of us are perfect, and we remember those we have lost in all their human complexity. Follow your instincts, even using some gentle humour if it feels right and relevant. And if you’re not sure, ask someone else for their honest feedback before you finalise your eulogy.

6. End on a touching note

Ending a eulogy on the right note can be tricky. One option is to finish with a poem or quote that feels consoling and meaningful, even if it happens to come from a movie such as Pretty Woman or Lord of the Rings ! You might find inspiration in famous eulogies, such as Matthew’s tribute to his partner Gareth in Four Weddings and a Funeral , Oprah Winfrey’s speech for Rosa Parks, Mona Simpson remembering her brother Steve Jobs, or in books and online quote collections.

Real eulogy examples

With the tips above, a ‘template’ for your loved one’s eulogy starts to come together. But if you’re not quite sure how to structure it, here’s a framework you can follow when you start writing:

Introduction :

• Give a brief background on the person who has died. Mention any nicknames they might have had; talk about their work or the things that were most important to them.
• Mention your relationship to them and what they meant to you and others. 
• Talk about some of their best qualities and values they held dear. 

Mid-section:

• You might want to include an anecdote here. Depending on the tone, you could make this funny, heart-warming, and/or even inspirational. 
• Dive deeper into the things they cared about most : this could be family, friends, a pet or even a hobby. 
• Cover their biggest accomplishments or life events. If they have a partner and/or kids, talk about them. You could even speak directly to them in parts.
• Capture what that person meant to others. This would be a good place to add personal stories or short quotes from their friends and family members.
• Start closing the eulogy with a final takeaway , whether it’s a saying your loved one often used or something that ties back to the eulogy’s overall theme. 
• At this point, you could speak directly to the loved one you have lost, and tell them ‘thank you’ and that you love them. 
• You could also thank those at the funeral or memorial service for being there, and remind them how much your loved one admired them all. 
• Think about ending with a quote, a poem, or a lyric from your loved one’s favourite song. You can keep it short and meaningful, a touching end to a funeral speech.

– Join Untangle’s grief community –

Eulogy example for a parent

Talk about: 

• What your mother or father meant to you and your siblings
• What they did both for your family and a living
• How they raised you and the values they passed on
• Funny stories or touching memories that you’ll always remember
• Something they once told you or a saying they had
• The people who meant the most to them

Example eulogy:

My dad was my hero. No matter how busy things got, he always made time for the people he cared about, and showed us that family always comes first – no matter what. Everyone who knew him knew how proud he was of the people he loved, of his dog, Buddy, and of his car… of course. You never had to ask what he was doing on a Sunday – he’d be outside washing the car again . 

I’m going to miss my dad so much, but I’m grateful for the wonderful memories I have of him. The happy trips to Cornwall when we were kids, the walks we used to go on, even just sitting on the sofa watching TV together. He made everything fun, and he knew just how precious our time on Earth is. He was always reminding me and my sisters to “enjoy life”, and that’s what he did, every day. 

I know a lot of you will be feeling as heartbroken as I am right now, and I also know that if there was anything my dad wanted me to say today, it’s this: thank you, to all of you. Everyone sitting here today meant so much to him; his work friends, his childhood friends, his whole family. He often talked about how lucky he was to have you all. I hope he knew how lucky we were to have him too. I love you Dad, thank you for being the best father we could have ever hoped for. 

Eulogy examples for a sibling

There will never be enough words to sum up my big sister. She was funny, kind, smart, determined… In the eyes of me and my parents, she lit up every room she walked into. [Name] threw herself at every opportunity – she never did anything by halves. When she was 21, she signed up for the marathon because she’d seen some running shoes she liked – and, of course, she smashed it. When she was 26, she went to the dog shelter ‘just to take a look’, and came home with two pups, Charlie and Bubbles, who adored her. 

So it was no surprise that she took so naturally to becoming a mum. I can’t describe the joy of seeing [Name] raise her two girls – my two favourite people – with the same care and kindness she had always shown me as her little sister. They were her pride and joy, and there is so much of [Name] in both of them. They share her generosity, fierce loyalty, flawless sense of style, and quick wit. [Kids’ names], I know nothing will ever erase the heartbreak of losing your mum, but I hope you know that we are all here for you always. 

[Name] was also a brilliant friend. She knew anyone and everyone. Sometimes it felt like there was nowhere we could go where she wouldn’t bump into at least one person who saw how brilliant she was. People were drawn to her, and her passion for life. But no matter how many friends she made, she’d never be without her best ones: Amy and Scott. She loved you both so much, and your wild stories will live on forever. 

[Name], thank you for everything. For being the life of the party, for always knowing how to make us all laugh, and for showing us how to live life to the fullest. There will never be a day we don’t miss you, but we’ll carry your love wherever we go, and your girls will never stop hearing stories about their magical mum.

Eulogy examples for a grandparent

• Your grandmother or grandfather’s life and the people they loved
• Their personality, their humour and their values
• The role they played in your upbringing
• Heartwarming memories of time spent with them

There was nobody funnier or more quick-witted than my grandmother. She was a force of nature who never failed to surprise people with her sharp one-liners and her teasing sense of humour. But she was also incredibly warm and kind. I’ll never forget our visits, Frank Sinatra playing in her living room, bowls of sweets on every surface, and her asking me, “so, what’s the latest gossip?”

She loved to chat, travel and see friends. Nan had a more active social life than anyone I know, and was always the ‘hostess with the mostest’, finding literally any reason to throw a party. Her love for her family was such a gift; something that my brother, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles and I were so lucky to experience every day. 

But Nan’s love for people didn’t just stay in her family. She was extremely charitable, hosting fundraisers, volunteering at charity shops, and offering help to anyone in need. When our grandad passed, she dedicated so much of her time TO raising money for the hospice that looked after him, as well as the RNLI in tribute to his time as a lifeguard. 

My nan and grandad’s love is something my brother, cousins and I all aspire to. Their adoration for one another was clear, and I can still hear them singing together in the kitchen. I like to think that now they’re finally back together again, having a song and a dance and big knees up. We love you Nan – thank you for everything.

– Join the grief community –

Eulogy example for a friend

• How you met your friend and what your first impressions were
• What made them such a wonderful friend
• Their passions and hobbies
• Their other friends and family
• Funny stories or memorable anecdotes

I’ll never forget the first time I met [Name]. I’d just moved into our halls at uni and found him in the kitchen, wearing nothing but a towel, panicking because he’d flooded his shower on day one. I quickly realised that these kinds of mishaps followed him pretty much everywhere, from the time he turned up at the airport three weeks late for a flight, to when his dog really did eat his coursework. There was always a story with [Name].

But beneath the constant jokes, mayhem and penchant for Hawaiian shirts, [Name] had the best heart. He was a true friend who backed all of us – even when we were definitely in the wrong! [Name] was the first person who called me when my dad passed away, the most dedicated best man at 3(!) of our friends’ weddings, and when he found [partner’s name], he became the most devoted boyfriend and fiancé. 

Anyone who knew [Name] knew how much he adored [partner’s name], how strong his bond was with his brothers, and how he loved nothing more than a hungover Sunday roast at his parents’ house. We’ll all miss him terribly, but it’s impossible not to smile when we think of him. [Name], you were a true friend. We’ll keep on making mischief in your honour.

The short eulogy examples above will have hopefully given you some inspiration on how you can structure your loved one’s funeral speech or the kinds of things you can talk about. We also wanted to share some well-known examples to give you extra ideas to work with. Here are a few that have stuck with us, and might help you too:

• Mona Simpson’s eulogy for her brother Steve Jobs
• Stacey Heale’s eulogy for her late husband Greg
• Eight-year-old Bindi Irwin’s eulogy for her dad Steve Irwin
• Kate Rothschild’s eulogy for her 15-year-old daughter Iris Goldsmith
• John Cleese’s eulogy written for George Chapman

Looking for more advice on dealing with a loss? Read our guide on what to say when someone dies . If you’re planning a funeral, our round-up of the most popular funeral songs will also be useful to you.

For more advice and to connect with others who share a similar experience of loss, download the Untangle Grief app .

Related events

Bereavement Support Group

A video support group to talk about your experiences with other people who can relate.

Related guides

The stages of grief myth, the death anniversary: stories, how to cope and ideas to honour your loved one, do you need to put lasting powers of attorney in place, how to notify utility companies of a bereavement.

• Privacy Overview
• Strictly Necessary Cookies
• 3rd Party Cookies

This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognising you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful.

Strictly Necessary Cookie should be enabled at all times so that we can save your preferences for cookie settings.

This website uses Google Analytics to collect anonymous information such as the number of visitors to the site and most popular pages. Keeping this cookie enabled helps us to improve our grief content, expand coping tools, and improve the overall experience.

Please enable Strictly Necessary Cookies first so that we can save your preferences!

• Find Local Vendors
• MAKE A MEME-ORIAL™
• Talking About Funerals
• Post-Death Paperwork
• Burials & Grave Markers
• Cremation & Urns
• Funeral Homes
• Everything You Need to Know
• Poems & Readings
• Procession & Pallbearers
• A Fitting Farewell
• Search Directory
• Write a Will
• Expressing Grief
• Coping With Holidays
• Parent / Grandparent
• Miscarriage / Stillbirth
• Partner / Spouse
• Grieving Children
• Grieving Adults
• Spirituality
• Inspiring Stories
• Healing Music
• Learn How to Make a Meme-orial
• Login to My Meme-orial Account
• Craft Videos
• Memorial Trees & Benches
• Cremation Jewelry
• Beautiful Memes to Share
• Celebration of Life Ideas
• Are You A Business? List In Our Directory Today

love lives on

Life . love . legacy.

The resource centre for when you’ve lost someone you love

FIND LOCAL SERVICES

How to Start a Eulogy | The Ultimate Guide

You have been honored by being asked to write a eulogy for a loved one or a dear friend. Congratulations.

You’ve graciously accepted, and now it is time to begin.

But it’s shocking at how blank that computer screen looks. There is, literally, nothing on it and it’s all up to you. How to start a eulogy? What do you say at the very beginning?  What are some good opening words for a funeral service?

Getting started, of course, is the most difficult part. Getting the first words down on paper (or computer screen) is the first hurdle.

Starting Well

Those first few words tell your audience that what is about to come will be good and worth listening to. Their expectations become their reality. Your eulogy will be better than any they’ve ever heard – if the words are right. And, if you’ve done it properly, your eulogy will be a wonderful tribute to a life well lived.

Those first words are important because what you have to share is meaningful and the words you choose will bring wonderful (or not so wonderful) memories to the minds of your listeners and, perhaps, a smile to their faces or tears to their eyes.

A eulogy is different than any other speech you will ever give because of its intensely personal nature. You will be telling the life story of someone you’ve lost. That’s emotional. You will be telling of memories personal and public and that is, sometimes, the most vulnerable a person ever gets. You are putting yourself on the line to honor the one who has passed.

The first words of the eulogy are important because they set the tone for all you will be saying.

Memory Block

There is an internal psychological defense mechanism that numbs our hearts and minds when we lose a loved one. “ Tell me about Uncle John?” is a question a funeral celebrant or someone writing a eulogy may ask the family. The response is often a blank stare or useless generalities.

“Uncle John was a very nice man.” “Uncle John loved everybody.” “He liked to work hard and play hard.” Virtually NOTHING to use in a eulogy! It’s “Memory Block” brought on by loss and grief and questions that are too general.

To overcome memory block when writing a eulogy, you need to ask yourself specific questions. Ask things like, “What parts of Uncle John’s character do you think he would most like to have passed on to his nieces and nephews?” “How do you think he impacted his world?” “Who were his heroes?” “How would you describe his outlook on life?”

See? All of a sudden, you can answer those questions because they are thoughtful, specific, and have some depth. Including them in your eulogy will make the eulogy you write much more interesting and not just a listing of facts. The eulogy will bring the story of Uncle John’s life to life .

Go to a eulogy writing site and look at their questions . Those will be most helpful in getting the memory juices flowing.

If you find a list of good questions, copy them and actually fill in the answers. This will help immensely in the writing of the entire eulogy and not just the beginning words.

Standing to Speak

You win or lose your audience in the first few sentences (maybe the first few words) of any speech. What you say is important, but even more important is the way you say them.

As you approach the podium, clench your teeth. Those few seconds of clenching will make your enunciation crisper.

When you get to the podium, take a deep breath before you say the first word. This will send a relaxation signal to your body, infusing it with a tiny burst of oxygen that will produce calmness.

Then speak with confidence as though this were the most natural thing in the world.

Use inflection. Use pauses. Use a higher or lower volume with your voice, as indicated by your content.

The Sound Barrier

Unless you are an experienced public speaker, the first thing you will want to do is hear the sound of your own voice in the microphone.

You will want to say something that is emotion neutral before beginning to share memories and stories.

Even though there is a microphone, speak up. People appreciate being able to hear what you are saying. Even a microphone cannot improve on mumbling. Speak up. Speak clearly. Speak confidently.

“Watch” Yourself

One of the ‘tricks of the trade’ of public speakers is the utilization of the fact that our minds can do several things at the same time. One of the things you will be doing is speaking, of course. But try also to ‘see’ yourself almost as though from an ‘out of body’ experience. Imagine YOU watching yourself give the speech.

This technique brings amazing calmness, because you are no longer the one speaking (even though you are). You are now one of the guests watching and listening and enjoying.

The First Words of Your Eulogy – “Thank You”

Always begin a eulogy by thanking guests and mourners for coming. This is common courtesy as well as an opportunity for you to build your own confidence as you hear your own voice and gain the hearing of your audience.

Too often, the person delivering a eulogy fails to recognize that people have given up their time to attend the funeral or memorial service. They forget that everyone likes to be appreciated. You gain points by doing so with your opening remarks. SAY THANK YOU!

Here are a few examples as to how to begin the eulogy by saying expressing appreciation :

• I’d like to begin today by thanking you all for being here as we say a final farewell to our dad. Joe and Tina and I – and mom – have been so grateful for all the cards and emails received and the calls so many have made. All have been greatly appreciated and have meant so much.
•  Thank you all for being here today. It is so great to see so many of mom’s family and friends gathered in one place to honor this amazing woman. She would have been humbled that so many of you took time out of your day to say, with the rest of us, ‘good-bye.’
•  As you know, Tom was an incredibly shy person. He would have been SO uncomfortable having you all here today with him being the center of attention. But how could we not come to say a final farewell to a man who has done so much and touched so many lives? Thank you for being here today to honor him.
• Look at this crowd! Sarah was such an amazing woman. Everyone who ever knew her was touched by her love. Thank you all for being here today to pay your respects and share your memories of my sister. Mom and Dad – and our entire family – have been so blessed that so many have reached out with words of encouragement and care. Thank you.

NOW the Eulogy Begins

The ‘thank you’ is prelude to the eulogy. It allows you to get a feel for the environment, to hear your own voice, to settle your nerves, to begin to build a positive relationship with your audience.

The first real paragraph can vary in content quite a lot, depending on whether it is a eulogy for a father or a mother, a sibling, or a friend.

Begin with something that the questions you asked yourself from the questionnaire revealed as most interesting or something about the person that others may not have known – or something that EVERYONE knew to be one of the hallmarks of the departed loved one.

Following are first paragraphs for a variety of situations. These are the first paragraphs of eulogies actually written by a professional eulogy writer . Feel free to borrow and adjust them to fit the life and personality of the one you are eulogizing.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Mother

• Mom was healthy all her life up until six weeks ago. Then it all caught up with her and our beautiful mother left us. Mark, Greg and I always knew we had a wonderful mother in the years we were growing up. She was always there for us, nurturing, loving, doing whatever it was we might need done. Three stubborn boys weren’t always easy to raise, I’m sure, but she did it with wonderful grace and we never, for one minute, doubted her love and commitment to us. Whatever we needed, we had. Wherever we needed to be carted, we were taken. Whenever we needed a listening ear, she was there… The three of us were the most important things in her life (other than dad, of course) – and we were totally aware of that.
• These past few years haven’t been easy ones for the Hayes family. Watching mom lose her cherished memories; having her personality change SO much from what she used to be and for her to know, early on, what was going on – very difficult and painful. Throughout it all, dad has been amazing. He was there every step of the way, loving her as he has the entirety of their 49 years of marriage. Nothing could ever change that.
• Martha, Hammed and I grew up knowing that we had an extraordinary mother. I’ve told people that any compassion and grace – and manners – any of us have, is due to mom. She had those all down pat and taught them to us from a very early age. She was the kind of mom who was always there for us, teaching and helping us in any way she could.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Father

• You hear stories about men or women who are referred to as ‘self-made.’ They’ve come from humble backgrounds and have managed, through determination and hard work – through ingenuity and taking risk – to achieve the American Dream. Dad was one of those men. He wasn’t highly educated, but he had a vision for what could be. He looked at life always through the lens of optimism and knew he could do it. He built a successful company from nothing and saw it grow and prosper and provide for his family…
• Most of you knew our father as a very serious minded man – in many ways almost stoic. And he was. But he was also a man with a very tender heart. Kevin and I grew up knowing that he always loved us. He may not have shown that in overt ways, but we always knew. We knew that we were the most important people in his life (other than mom, of course – they were married for fifty two years). We always knew that dad loved seeing us grow up and loved being a role model for us. And he was. Almost everything that Kevin and I are can be attributed to dad and his example as to what it means to be a father or a brother or a friend.
• I’m not entirely certain of this, but I believe my voice may have been the last voice dad heard before he went to heaven. It was over the phone. I told him that I loved him. I told him that I know our relationship has had some major ups and downs but that it would be the desire of my heart that he get well and that we could rebuild our relationship. That was not to be, of course. That evening he was taken.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Grandmother

• Do you know anyone other than my grandmother who would be up at 2:00 in the morning combing out the tassels on the living room carpet? Until we realized she was doing it, I had no idea that tassels EVER needed combing. I’m still not convinced. It was just one of her quirks.
• Grandma was 81 but she had a young soul. No matter what came her way, no matter how many trials or hardships or obstacles, she carried a smile on her face. That smile kept her young and positive and strong. It kept her going through good times and bad. It was something that, if you saw her, you expected… and you always knew you were in the presence of a caring, giving, loving woman – a woman of strength and character.
• I remember so well how, when we were young, Dodo would babysit Keith and me in the summers at Oscar’s Beach. We would spend entire days in the sun. We would dig clams in the morning and she would cook them up for lunch. To this day, when I so much as smell clams, those memories come flooding back. She taught us how to play Yatzee and the card game “31.” We loved to play games with her. She probably sometimes let us win, but when we won we always thought ourselves so triumphant…

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Grandfather

• The first character trait I think of when thinking of grandpa is that he truly respected others. He didn’t always agree with them, but he so believed that every person deserves respect. I imagine that every one of us here today has some story we could tell of grandpa and I would guess that 90% of those stories have to do with ‘respect.’ If you knew him at all, you knew that you had better not disrespect him or anyone else in his presence. He simply wouldn’t tolerate it. People were too important to not be given the respect they deserve.
• Grandpa had so many friends, didn’t he? Usually when you are 92 you’ve outlived most of your friends. Not my grandfather… He lost a lot of them over the years, but so many of his friends were decades younger than he was. I guess he was planning ahead when he gathered them into his sphere.
• Last April we celebrated grandpa’s 94th birthday. I’ve begun to realize that when a person has lived that long, all of their friends have already passed. Years ago grandpa stopped attending funerals because he was already the last one standing. That has to be a rather sobering realization.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Sister

• Nancy and I weren’t twins, of course, but I always thought of us of being pretty much like twins. We were close in age. We looked alike. We thought alike. We defended one another against all others. When we were kids and mom or dad would spank Nancy for something, I’d do the crying. Nancy remained stoic.
• Krysi was my little sister. When she was born, Michael and I knew a little treasure had entered our lives. We knew that she would be one of our best friends… that she’d be with us forever…
• Cat spent the first two years of her life as an only child – absorbing all the love and attention mom and dad could lavish upon her. But she gladly gave up her ‘only child’ status when her sisters came along. How she loved being a big sister – a little mother – a best friend — to Cairi and Ciera.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Brother

• My brother, Mike, was such a man of principle and character. I remember so clearly the lessons we all learned in his warehouse when we worked there in our younger years. Two things he instilled in us: First – Build a network of people you know and trust and then don’t be afraid to use those connections throughout your life. People resources are the most valuable resource you can have – in business or in life. The second lesson, equally important: Use the resources you have and the opportunities that come your way to help others – for no other reason than it is the right thing to do .
• I don’t remember a single time when Don was impatient, unkind, or too busy for others. He was a warm, caring man who always had time for you and showed interest in your life and what you were doing. He was a man who consistently gave his best self to every one of us. How can you not love a man like that?
• Social science tell us that the first born in a family tends to be confident, a high achiever, driven and self-assured. Those words are a perfect description of Oboy. When our father died, back in 1998, Oboy stepped up and became the ‘man’ of the family. He watched out for the rest of us and encouraged us and, in so many ways, took dad’s place – helping mom and the family financially – standing up for all of us. Vergel, Meilyn, JP, and I have always known that our big brother had our best interests at heart.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Daughter

• When we look at Alexeya and Alannah, we see our daughter, their mother, Lala, in their smiles and laughter. We see her in their mannerisms and in their playfulness. We see her in their sense of humor and in their inquisitiveness. And we see her often in the subtle hints of their strong wills which, I’m sure, will be even more pronounced in the years to come.
• Our daughter, Weez, spent her life in service to others. She got her masters in Speech Pathology and, perhaps because of the profession, or perhaps because it just came natural to her, she became a world-class listener. She was what is often called an “active listener.” That means that she wasn’t just quiet while you talked and she listened. She asked questions that probed into whatever issue was at hand. And she listened in such a way that those she was talking with, knew she cared. And it was that listening skill – that continual affirmation of others – that made people love her.
• I have known and loved LaVerne longer than anyone living in the world today. I loved her from the first moment I saw her on the day she was born. I remember thinking how I couldn’t wait until he could walk and talk and how much fun we’d have. And we did – more than I could ever have imagined at the time.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Son

• Our son’s life was just getting started. He had just turned 16 at the end of June. He had the whole world ahead of him before it all ended. Eric (the family called him E.J.) was, in many ways, the typical 16 year old. He loved to ride his dirt bike, go camping, play video games, hang out with friends. He loved to look good, to have nice shoes, to have fun… He wasn’t a big fan of going to school but he was determined that he would finish and graduate in a couple of years. He wasn’t sure exactly what the future held but thought that, maybe, he’d join the military. There he’d get some training, get physically fit, and have some time to figure out what he wanted to do…
• Jack had a bit of a struggle coming into this world. He was in the NICU for a few days. But from the first day out of the hospital, he captured every heart who met him. He was all boy – full of energy and laughter and fun.
• My son was my hero – and a true American hero. His service to his country was exemplary. His death meant our military was short one of its best soldiers. But his heroism was more than military, it was personal. He was the most loving, caring, compassionate and empathetic man I’ve ever known.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Wife

• God granted Christine and me 22 wonderful years. There should have been more – we should have grown old together – we should have one day sat in our rocking chairs and looked back over the decades we spent loving one another and all the memories we made. That will never be, but each and every one of the memories we did make I will cherish forever…
• As most of you know, Cheryl was an optimist to the core. She was always positive and refused to take part in any discussion of anything negative. Even with her cancer. She didn’t want to talk about it unless it was absolutely necessary. She didn’t deny it. She just felt no need to dwell on it. She was a woman who was always ready to look for the bright side to whatever came her way. And she wanted that for everyone she knew. If she could, she’d help you put a smile on your face and work through whatever the trouble might be.
• The Bible talks about a woman of character being a treasure to her family. Mae truly was. Her brightness lit up our lives every day. Her courage inspired us. Her work ethic spurred us on toward success. She was the love of my life.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Husband

• Life always laughs at plans we make. David and I expected to see all of you in this room one day to celebrate his retirement, not to meet here to remember his life. We expected that to be a few years from now…
• When John and I got married three years ago, we knew this day would come. He had been diagnosed a year before, but we chose to walk this final earthly journey hand in hand – together. We had known one another for quite a number of years – since all the kids were young. We were friends for years before God brought us together in, what I would describe, as a wonderful, love-filled marriage. When we were dating, we discovered that we had the same values and family ideals. We both wanted the same things in life. We both were committed to our relationship with God. And God honored our coming together by giving us three wonderful years. Not long enough, of course, but every day was full and rich and never to be forgotten.
• I can imagine that Tom would feel a bit uncomfortable today if he were alive. He never wanted people to make a fuss over him. He never wanted to be the center of attention. I can imagine him saying, seeing all of us gathered with our memories and grief, “My God! – such a fuss.”

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Friend

• I’ve had the privilege of knowing Jeremy for 22 years. We met at Target while we were stocking shelves as young men. I remember that day like it was yesterday. He had such an energy about him – a sense of joy and life – that I knew we’d be friends. He was quiet at first, like he was with everyone, but as you know, once you got a bit acquainted, he was a funny guy. His personality came out and his sense of humor, and you could talk and joke around and laugh together for hours. I am so sorry we didn’t get a chance to say good-bye to him and that he left us so soon.
• Kelly was an amazingly positive woman. Nothing ever got her down. She was committed to self-care and making everyone around her smile and enjoy life just a little bit more. She ran a guest house in the French Quarter and was, without doubt, one of the best hostesses anywhere. She had a knack for making people feel comfortable, for knowing what they needed before they did, and always keeping them laughing. I have no doubt that everyone she hosted, went home with stories about their stay with her – planning to return as soon as they could. She was MADE for being around people and she thrived there, in the quarter.
• As we grow older we continue to understand the meaning of a true friend. Someone willing to put your happiness, principles and values right there in the friendship. With whom you can be yourself without fear of judgment. This is the friend Preston was to us all.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Co-Worker

• There isn’t anyone in the world who fought cancer harder than Al. He never complained about his cancer and all the treatments and all that has been going on for the past 16 months, but he did admit, from time to time, how he felt. He said, “This sucks.” And it did. Saying a final farewell sucks, too. He was too young, too vibrant, too good of a guy to leave us.
• To know Dave was to love him. He was the kind of man who was always there for you. He was always ready and willing to do anything he could to help out anyone who needed a hand. I suppose that, at first meeting, Dave may have come across as a bit unusual to some people, but that didn’t last for long once you got to know him and see what kind of character he had – once you saw his sensitivity and humility and love. If you knew him, you invariably got his signature move… He’d point at you and wiggle his fingers until you smiled [ demonstrate ]. He wanted people to be happy.
• I’m Steve Weisman, John’s boss for almost 24 years. My dad hired him when John and I were both young and we’ve worked together ever since. It is my honor to be standing here today talking about a wonderful man in my life and in so many of your lives.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Neighbor

• Looking back on their 34 years of marriage, there was little doubt for Mack that their wedding day was probably the best day of his life. He got to marry the woman of his dreams and together they were an example of love and commitment and working together – of loving one another for over three decades. No one who knew Mack and Naomi ever doubted their love… in fact, many of us in the neighborhood, wished they could have such a relationship themselves.
• I knew Doc for fifty-one years. We’ve played hundreds of rounds of golf, walked countless miles through fields chasing up birds. We’ve probably shared barrels of beer. It has been one of the greatest honors of my life to have called this man my friend and my neighbor. My biggest regret is that, in all that time, being together on a million occasions, I never actually told him, in words, that I loved him… But I did…
• These past several years, since his accident, have been pretty hard for Johnny. His health began its decline then and just continued. Dee was always there by his side, doing whatever needed to be doing. Dee you really came through for your husband. It’s not easy being a care giver, but you took seriously your vows on your wedding day, “in sickness and in health.”

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Difficult Person

• It’s hard to know what to say about dad. He had some issues. He wasn’t always easy to get along with. He was often a bit aggressive and almost always argumentative. As someone said, ‘he was quite a character.’ To which I replied, “That’s an understatement.” But he was our dad and we loved him even with his quirks and eccentricities. There wasn’t any time, when we were growing up, that we didn’t know that he loved us.
• The human mind is such a complex thing – it is always in a precarious balance of its chemical and neurological components. Most of us, most of the time, are completely normal, but all of us, from time to time, find ourselves in various moods for which there is no obvious explanation… but all within the ‘normal’ spectrum. Mom’s didn’t always stay in that narrow spectrum. Modern medicine helped, but the side effects were often less than desirable. Like so many others who struggle with that mental chemical imbalance, she’d abandon them for a while, only to fall into some of the darker recesses of the mind. No one’s fault. It is just, sometimes, how we were made and how we are forced to live.
• From the time Jeremy was born, we knew there were problems. He cried constantly. When he got older, his fits of rage were frightening. As an adult, it was sometimes very difficult to be around him. But between those difficult times, he could be a wonderful, loving, giving person. He was my brother and I loved him.

More Resources

If you are looking for more resources for writing and delivering a eulogy, please see:

• How to write a eulogy and speak like a pro
• 30+ best eulogy examples to inspire you
• 100+ beautiful quotes to use in a eulogy speech

About the Author

This post on how to start a eulogy was kindly provided by Steve Schafer, a professional writer who writes beautiful eulogies for clients in the USA and Internationally.  To learn more about his work, please visit The Eulogy Writers .

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

7 Tips For Writing A Memorial Speech (With Sample Speech)

Hrideep barot.

• Speech Writing

Maybe you’re someone who does a lot of writing. Or maybe you’re someone who doesn’t. Either way, no matter whether you’re a seasoned writer & speaker, nothing quite prepares you for the task of writing a memorial speech. 

Most often, when people are writing memorials and eulogies, they are in the middle of a personal tragedy. If you’re writing a eulogy for someone, they were probably someone who was very dear to you and likewise. Even if the loss was expected, it doesn’t make things any easier. 

All of this makes collecting your thoughts & organizing them into a coherent speech all the more difficult. It even sounds absurd at times. 

And yet, it is your task to write a memorial speech for your loved one, no matter how difficult or absurd it might feel. And so we are here to help you out & make things a bit more easy for you. 

You can write a memorable memorial or tribute speech by keeping in mind a few things. This includes speaking to family members, including personal anecdotes, making sure its not cliched, including visual aids and ending on a heartfelt note.

Now, let’s get into the nitty-gritty of it. 

Tips For Writing A Memorial or Tribute Speech  at a Funeral

1. Speak To Family Members 

While a memorial speech is also a speech, the setting makes it different than any other speech you’ll ever have to give in life. This can cause a lot of confusion about what’s appropriate to include in your speech & what isn’t–especially if you’re not a family member. 

Even if you’re a family member, you might feel overburdened by the prospect of summarizing a person’s entire life after their death into a couple of paragraphs. 

So, it’s wise to seek the counsel of family members of the person you’ve passed away. Their insights will also allow you to enrich your speech. 

2. Write A Short, Personal Biography 

What were the person’s greatest achievements? What did they love and what did they hate? 

Before you begin writing your speech, jot down the most essential features of the person’s life. This can act as a starting point for the rest of your speech & you can then include all of these points while writing them down so that you don’t miss out on anything important. 

For more guidance on why writing down a speech is important, check out our article on 9 Reasons Why Writing A Speech Is Important.

3. Make It Personal, Not Cliched 

Cliche is definitely not something you want to aim for while writing your speech. Remember that death is a very personal experience. For all the people grieving in the room–including you–the loss is personal & incomparable. 

That’s why it’s important to make the speech personal to the deceased. Instead of making universal statements, you need to focus instead on the personal aspects of the deceased. 

For example, maybe the deceased was an excellent Jazz Musician when they were young. Or maybe they loved ballet even though they were terrible with it & couldn’t dance for one million dollars. 

Now would be the time to include things like this. 

4. Include Poems & Quotes 

Poetry and quotes are things that can touch us in ways other things might not– and that’s the case with most words. 

That’s why you’re delivering a memorial speech, after all. So, it’s a good idea to include poems & quotes in your speech, as it will make a more lasting impact on the minds of the people who’re attending, and make it more likely that they will remember your speech. 

5. Include Visual Aids 

This might sound odd at first, but it’s actually something that might have the most impact on the minds of the people attending. 

Was there something the person just loved wearing–maybe a t-shirt that’s on the verge of falling apart? Or is there something they gave you as a keepsake? Maybe there’s an object that you commonly associate with that person. 

Now would be a good time to bring them in. This would be a truly heartful thing to include in your speech. 

6. Include Special Anecdotes 

Was there any memorable moment that you shared with the person? Maybe an incident that other people haven’t heard about before. Or maybe it’s an incident that everyone has heard about before. 

Including personal anecdotes will make your speech more special & memorable for everyone attending. They can also act as an outlet for emotions–for both, you and the others. 

After all, it is a tribute.

7. End On A Heartfelt Note 

The ending of any speech is something that people tend to remember for longer than any other part of it. This goes for eulogies too. 

Instead of ending on a negative note, you want to conclude your eulogy on a note that’s comforting. You want to acknowledge the loss, yes. However, in the end, the entire point of the memorial is to give people closure. And how will they get that without comfort? 

Tips To Keep In Mind While Delivering The Memorial Speech

1. speak conversationally.

Remember that you’re not here to give a professional speech. You’re here to commemorate the life of a person who touched the lives of the people in the room, probably yours as well. You don’t want to go for a formal tone when you’re speaking.

Instead, talk naturally, and as you would if you were having a conversation with other people.

2. Don’t Worry If Emotions Overcome You

It’s alright to feel a surge of emotions when you’re giving your speech. In fact, it’s quite natural. Even if you get overwhelmed with emotions and feel yourself start to choke up, don’t worry. It’s okay to be vulnerable.

Pause. Take a deep breath. Collect yourself. And then go on with your speech.

It’s an emotional day for everybody.

3. Take A Moment To Collect Your Thoughts

When you’re called up to deliver your eulogy, take a moment to collect your thoughts. Take a few deep breaths. Drink a couple of mouthfuls of water. Maybe hug another person who’s close to you.

This will allow you to get your emotions in check, and to organize your thoughts. It will also help you brace yourself for the big task ahead: delivering the eulogy.

4. Have A Standby With You

Another thing that you can do in case you’re overwhelmed with emotion is to have a standby with you. This can be anybody, from your sibling to your parent to a close friend. You can give them a copy of your speech so that they can help you out by finishing it in case you’re too overwhelmed to continue.

Make sure to give the person the copy well in advance so that they can be prepared. Alternatively, you could simply give them an overview of your speech & they can pick it off from there.

5. Look Your Loved Ones In The Eye

Another tip would be to look your loved ones in the eye when you’re delivering your speech. You don’t have to necessarily continue maintaining eye contact with them throughout your speech. Instead, look at them intermittently throughout the speech.

This will not only help them make a better connection with you, but it will also help you get emotional support and get through your speech.

How To Begin Your Memorial Speech 

1. Start With A Quote 

This is an age-old way to start off a eulogy and for good reasons. There are many types of quotes that you can go with. 

Maybe you could speak a quote that the person loved. Maybe it’s something from a book or movie. Alternatively, you could also start off with a quote from the Bible or Koran, if the person was religious. 

For Example: 

2. Start With A Lighthearted Story 

Often, the mood in a memorial service is heavy & sad. This can make it difficult for people to care about your speech, and to use it as inspiration to talk about the person’s themselves. 

One way to lighten up the mood is by reciting a lighthearted story. Maybe a funny incident from the person’s life, or something the two of you witnessed together. 

For example: If there’s one thing that Joe loved more than food, it was jokes–and bad ones at that. Let me tell you my favorite.

3. Start With A Song Or Poem 

Another way to start a eulogy would be with a song. This can be something personal to you and the deceased. Maybe a song that had a special place in their lives. 

Similarly, you could also start off with a poem. This can be something you’ve written yourself–or even a poem which you read. 

You don’t want your song or poem too to on for too long. Remember that you’ve to include words, too. 

4. Start By Saying Something Not Commonly Known 

Was there something the deceased frequently did that other people didn’t know about? Maybe even though they were a strict army parent at first glance, they were actually perpetually late to things. 

What are some things about the deceased that are at contrast to what other people know about them? You might want to start off with an unknown fact about them.

If you’re not sure what to include, you can ask their family members to help you out. 

For Example: For someone who worked in the Law Department for so long, Amy sure did love breaking rules when she was younger. 

5. Start With A Personal Prop 

Remember how we mentioned bringing an item you associate with the deceased to the memorial? Now would be a good time to bring it out. 

This will help you make a unique impression on people’s minds right off the start. It will also immediately connect with other people & make them remember the deceased themselves, encouraging them to speak out too. 

For example: Bring out the deceased’s favorite baseball cap & tell a story you associate with it. 

Sample Memorial Speech

Sample Memorial Speech from a Son to a Mother

“For someone who worked over three decades rescuing dogs, my mother was quite terrified of puppies when she was younger. In fact, she was so terrified of dogs that as a sixteen-year-old she once climbed a tree when a little puppy barked at her. Imagine that… A twelve-year-old five-foot girl climbed to the top of a tree thrice her height because a little puppy was barking at her! And the story doesn’t end here. Not only did she scale the tree–which, by the way, she had never done in her life before–but she also refused to get down . My grandfather had the entire neighborhood out of their homes attempting to convince her to get down from that tree. Because, of course, while adrenaline had managed to boost her up the tree, she had no clue how to get down from it. In the end, it was only four hours later when the fire department came along that they were able to get her down. For almost a week after my grandfather told me this story–despite my mother’s vehement protests, by the way–I couldn’t get the picture of my twelve-year-old mother clinging for dear life the branch of a tree out of my head. And it’s this picture that stuck with me as I sat down to write this speech. Because you see, there’s no other picture or story that better sums up my mother. She always did things without thinking them through, as most of the people in this room might already know. She was the most intuitive, the most instinctive, and spontaneous person that I’ve ever met in my entire life. And yet things always seemed to work out for her, in the end. My mother lived a long, happy, and fulfilled life. Two decades of this life she spent working with animals–the very same thing that awakened her inner Tarzan in our tree-climbing story. And she loved them–or, at least, grew to love them. You see, after this incident, my grandfather had her volunteer at a local animal shelter. It was over there that she learned how to overcome her fear of animals–little puppies, too. And slowly, that fear turned into love. Many of you in this room know her from this time in her life. My mother was a vibrant soul. My father used to say that she could light up an entire room when she stepped into it–although, of course, that’s probably because he was hopelessly in love with her. Even though raising four boys was most certainly not the easiest thing in the world, she never backed down. She raised us with love–and respect. She never forced us to be anything that we’re not, and she never let anyone else pull any of us down for being a little different sometimes, either. But the fact that so many of you are here today to pay respects to her shows her immediate family wasn’t the only ones whose lives she touched. She would never turn anyone away, didn’t matter whether she herself was going through problems or not. She would be beyond happy to see all of you here–and she would let you know that, too. Never ran out of words, my mother. When I moved away for University, she would make the eight-hour drive from my little hometown to my apartment every month so that she could chatter my ear off for an entire weekend–not counting the hour-long talks that we had every single day. She could keep a dead conversation alive for hours–I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. And this is how I remember my mother: as a spontaneous, hard-working, happy soul who is probably chattering with all the other souls up in heaven about her own memorial. And if she’s watching–which I know she is–then I simply want to thank her for everything that she’s done for all of us, and to let her know that she’s still loved and remembered and will always be. To repeat the words she said at my dad’s funeral: To live in the hearts of those we love is not to die.”

To sum up, writing a memorial speech is something that nobody really prepares you for. And yet, if you keep a few things in mind, you can outline a memorial speech that will connect with the people who’re there with you. This includes speaking to family members, including personal anecdotes, making sure its not cliched, including visual aids and ending on a heartfelt note.

Enroll in our transformative 1:1 Coaching Program

Schedule a call with our expert communication coach to know if this program would be the right fit for you

Crisis Leadership 101: Cultivating Empathy While Exercising Authority 

Lost Voice? Here’s How to Recover Sore Throat and Speak Again

7 Keys to Emcee Like a Pro: Unlock Your Hosting Potential

• [email protected]
• +91 98203 57888

Get our latest tips and tricks in your inbox always

Copyright © 2023 Frantically Speaking All rights reserved

• I need to plan a funeral
• Making funeral arrangements

Writing a eulogy: what to say at a funeral speech

Have you been asked to write a eulogy? And deliver it at the funeral? You might have questions about how to get it right. Here are some tips on writing a eulogy and speaking at a funeral to help you give a heart-warming funeral speech. 

What is a eulogy? 

A eulogy is a piece of writing or a speech that commemorates a person’s life. It’s also called a funeral speech and is usually shared at a funeral or memorial service. You could see it as a tribute to someone who’s passed away and a way to share memories of them. It’s an opportunity to look back at their life and talk about what made them unique.  

How to write a eulogy 

Knowing how to write a eulogy won’t necessarily come naturally. It may feel like a big responsibility. But remember that your funeral speech doesn’t have to be perfect, or formal if that doesn’t feel right. When you’re planning what to put in a eulogy keep in mind that it doesn’t have to follow a set structure or have a sad tone. You can adapt your funeral speech to reflect the personality of the person who passed away and add a little humour if you think it’s appropriate. 

Below is a short video on how to write a eulogy. It’ll give you some ideas about how to write a funeral speech that feels right. 

Writing a eulogy step by step 

If you’re writing a eulogy for a loved one here’s one way of approaching it. It’ll help you take it step by step to make things a little easier. 

Preparing a eulogy 

When you’re preparing the eulogy it’s a good idea to think about it in different sections (start, middle and ending) and then focus on writing each one in turn. You could write one section a day if you’re finding it difficult to sit down and write the whole eulogy at once.  

Before you start writing anything at all, you might like to chat to other friends and family members to hear their memories too. There might be specific things they’d like you to mention in the funeral speech. And if there’s more than one of you saying a few words at the funeral then you might want to get together to talk about what each of you would like to include in your speeches. This’ll help you avoid repeating the same stories and it could help you come up with new ideas too. 

"I did a eulogy for her on behalf of her children [...] I’d spent a long, long time writing and rewriting the eulogy. I wanted it to be spot on, honest and authentic."

How to start a eulogy 

How do you start a eulogy? It can feel like the hardest part. One easy way to begin is with a story about the person who’s died. You could talk about how you met them or share a story that shows the kind of person they were. To find some inspiration, try writing down some of your favourite stories about them. They can be touching, funny, emotional or inspiring. 

Here are a few things you could think about to get started: 

• The first time I met them… 
• The thing everyone always said about them… 
• The last time I saw them they said… 
• The thing I will always remember about them… 

What to say in a eulogy 

Keeping to a basic eulogy structure will make it easier for you to say, and easier for people to follow. Try to have 3-5 main points, then give yourself 1-2 minutes to say each point. 

Things you could include in your eulogy: 

• Stories that show the personality and best qualities of the person 
• Share the person’s favourite poem or song lyrics 
• Share something that the person said, and that you will always remember 
• Talk about their favourite interests or hobbies 
• Celebrate the biggest achievements in their life 

Rather than simply writing a funeral speech that tells the person’s life in order, consider basing the eulogy around the stories and moments that stand out. 

How to end a eulogy 

It’s best to end your funeral speech with something memorable and meaningful. You could end with an uplifting quote from the person who has died, or you could finish with a final story. You could even end the eulogy with a sentence about what you think the person would say to everyone if they were still here. Alternatively, you could finish with a poem, a song or a well-loved quote. 

Quotes to end a eulogy

How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

Only a moment you stayed, but what an imprint your footprints have left on our hearts.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

Tips for speaking at a funeral

In the video below, funeral celebrants Alison Regan, Lyndsey Conquest, Karen Nutton, and Stuart Atherton offer their tips for speaking at a funeral:

Practising how to deliver a eulogy is just as important as writing it. It’ll help you feel more confident about speaking at the funeral and give you the time you need to fully prepare. 

• Practise the funeral speech as much as you can. Ask someone to listen to you read through the eulogy and give you advice about where you need to slow down or speak more clearly. 
• Use something to help you remember your words. You may prefer to have your funeral speech written down word-for-word. Others prefer short prompts or cue cards. 
• Don’t worry about faltering. Nobody expects you to get through a eulogy without crying. You may stumble over sentences, you may become upset. No need to apologise – just take a deep breath and move on when you can. 
• Bring a copy of your funeral speech written out in full. Even if you don’t plan to use it. That way, if you don’t feel you can deliver the speech on the day, you can ask someone else to read it for you. 

Examples of famous eulogies

Diana was the very essence of compassion, of duty, of style, of beauty. All over the world she was a symbol of selfless humanity.

It is the end of 95 glorious years of a freedom fighter, a dedicated and humble servant of the people of South Africa.

My Daddy was my hero […] He was working to change the world so everyone would love wildlife like he did.

Eulogy FAQs

Have a specific question about writing a eulogy? The answers below could help.

A speech at a funeral is called a eulogy because when the word is broken down it actually means praise. The Greek roots of the word eulogy are eu which means good and logos which means speech. So when you are delivering a eulogy you’re praising the person who’s died, and speaking about the good they have done in their life. 

Close family or friends typically read the eulogy at a funeral. For example, children might give a eulogy at a parent’s funeral. But it can be anyone who was close to the person who died. Speaking at a funeral can be an overwhelming experience, so if you think reading the eulogy will be too much on the day, the celebrant (the person leading the service) can read it for you instead. 

Eulogies are usually quite short. Try to write a speech that lasts between 5 and 10 minutes, as a guide. But it’s important to think about how long you feel comfortable speaking for. If you only want to speak for a couple of minutes, that’s fine too. 

Yes, a eulogy can be funny if you think it’s appropriate for the person you’re commemorating. Writing a eulogy is a good opportunity to celebrate a life well-lived and share funny anecdotes that’ll put a smile on people’s faces. But it’s also worth keeping in mind how other people attending will react to a more light-hearted funeral speech.  

You don’t have to have a eulogy at a funeral if it’s not the right choice for you. Each funeral service is unique, and so you might choose to play a song in tribute instead of writing a funeral speech. Or someone could recite a poem that feels appropriate. Alternatively, you don’t have to speak at a funeral at all, if it’s too much. And if you wanted to keep the service simple or have an unattended funeral (a cremation or burial without a service), a eulogy might not be appropriate at all.  

Yes, you can have more than one eulogy. Or you could have 2-3 speakers each delivering a part of one eulogy. Ultimately, it’s your decision as to how many eulogies or speakers you have at the funeral. 

A eulogy and an obituary are both written to commemorate someone’s life but a eulogy is usually the speech you’ll hear at a funeral service, and an obituary is written specifically for publication in a newspaper. 

The eulogy will be given during the funeral service or memorial service. Lots of people choose to deliver the eulogy towards the end of the service, as a final way of paying tribute. But this is completely up to you. If you’re unsure, your funeral director or celebrant can offer some advice about the order of service .  

If you can’t face delivering a eulogy at the funeral, that’s perfectly OK. You can ask a friend or the person leading the funeral to read the funeral speech for you. They can also help you to write it, if you’re finding that difficult too. Hopefully our eulogy ideas have helped you understand how to write a funeral speech. You’ll find more tips and advice about planning or going to a funeral in our advice hub. 

Ultimately it doesn’t matter which stories or quotes you choose to put in the eulogy. And it doesn’t matter if you choose to keep things formal or go with a lighter tone. As long as your funeral speech is respectful and celebrates the person who passed away everyone else in the room will be grateful for it. If you’re still not sure where to start and need more eulogy ideas our  hub of poems, songs and readings  might help. 

Writing a eulogy for a difficult person: finding the right words to say

Funeral readings and quotes from literature

Writing an obituary

How to make a funeral order of service (with examples)

Photo by The Good Funeral Guide on Unsplash

• PRO Courses Guides New Tech Help Pro Expert Videos About wikiHow Pro Upgrade Sign In
• EDIT Edit this Article
• EXPLORE Tech Help Pro About Us Random Article Quizzes Request a New Article Community Dashboard This Or That Game Popular Categories Arts and Entertainment Artwork Books Movies Computers and Electronics Computers Phone Skills Technology Hacks Health Men's Health Mental Health Women's Health Relationships Dating Love Relationship Issues Hobbies and Crafts Crafts Drawing Games Education & Communication Communication Skills Personal Development Studying Personal Care and Style Fashion Hair Care Personal Hygiene Youth Personal Care School Stuff Dating All Categories Arts and Entertainment Finance and Business Home and Garden Relationship Quizzes Cars & Other Vehicles Food and Entertaining Personal Care and Style Sports and Fitness Computers and Electronics Health Pets and Animals Travel Education & Communication Hobbies and Crafts Philosophy and Religion Work World Family Life Holidays and Traditions Relationships Youth
• Browse Articles
• Learn Something New
• Quizzes Hot
• This Or That Game
• Train Your Brain
• Explore More
• Support wikiHow
• About wikiHow
• Log in / Sign up
• Education and Communications
• Official Writing

How to Start a Eulogy

Last Updated: November 21, 2022 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Lynn Kirkham and by wikiHow staff writer, Megaera Lorenz, PhD . Lynn Kirkham is a Professional Public Speaker and Founder of Yes You Can Speak, a San Francisco Bay Area-based public speaking educational business empowering thousands of professionals to take command of whatever stage they've been given - from job interviews, boardroom talks to TEDx and large conference platforms. Lynn was chosen as the official TEDx Berkeley speaker coach for the last four years and has worked with executives at Google, Facebook, Intuit, Genentech, Intel, VMware, and others. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 67,507 times.

Being asked to write a eulogy for a departed loved one is a sober responsibility, but it can also be cathartic. This is a chance to honor your friend or family member after their passing and share fond memories with others who were close to them. If you have the task of writing and delivering a eulogy, you may be wondering where to begin. There’s no set structure for eulogies, although you may have a time limit (e.g., 5 minutes). Keep your opening short, clear, and simple. When you’re delivering your opening comments, stick to the script and take your time.

Writing Your Opening

• For example, you might decide that you are going to build your eulogy around a favorite personal memory you have of your loved one.

• For example, you might say, “My name is Sally Edwards. Evan was my big brother and my best friend.”

• You might say, “I’d like to thank all of you for coming to Uncle John’s funeral, especially those of you who have flown in from out of state. It means so much to all of us, and I know it would make him so happy to see all of you here.”

• For example, you could say, “I’d like to offer my heartfelt condolences to Sarah’s family for the loss of their beloved daughter and sister.”

• You might start with something really simple and straightforward, such as, “I’m going to share one of my favorite memories of Aunt Rosa.”
• If you prefer, you could open with something more attention-grabbing, such as a few words that you feel capture whatever you are trying to say about your loved one. For example, “Phil never went anywhere without his camera and a sense of wonder.”

Delivering the Eulogy Opening

• If you’re nervous or emotional, try to visualize yourself calmly delivering the eulogy before you begin.
• Before you start, close your eyes and picture your loved one as you remember them. Acknowledge your grief, but also think about the good feelings associated with your memories of them. [5] X Research source

• Print your script out in a large, easy-to-read font and double space it. That way, you won’t be struggling to read your notes if you lose your place.

• Try to breathe normally. If you’re nervous or emotional, it’s easy to end up breathless or inadvertently hold your breath.
• You may find it helpful to have a glass or bottle of water and some tissues or a handkerchief handy as well.

• Try to directly address the people who were closest to the person who passed away, such as their immediate family.
• You may find that looking at your listeners makes you too emotional, and that’s okay. Don’t try to maintain eye contact if it makes speaking too difficult.

• Nobody will hold it against you if you get choked up. This is a difficult and emotional time for everyone present.

Expert Q&A

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.funeralwise.com/celebration-of-life/eulogy/theme/
• ↑ https://www.funeralwise.com/celebration-of-life/eulogy/
• ↑ Lynn Kirkham. Public Speaking Coach. Expert Interview. 20 November 2019.
• ↑ https://ideas.ted.com/how-to-give-a-eulogy-that-truly-celebrates-the-person-youre-honoring/
• ↑ https://humanists.uk/ceremonies/funerals/blog/how-to-deliver-a-eulogy-9-tips-from-a-celebrant/
• ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/write-deliver-eulogy/

About This Article

• Send fan mail to authors

Did this article help you?

Featured Articles

Trending Articles

Watch Articles

• Terms of Use
• Privacy Policy
• Do Not Sell or Share My Info
• Not Selling Info

wikiHow Tech Help Pro:

Develop the tech skills you need for work and life

• When someone dies
• At Hospital
• At Care Home
• Reported to a Coroner
• ‘Next steps’ – online guide
• Timeline after Death
• Finances & who to contact
• Managing the Estate
• Resources & Guides
• Online Guided processes
• Useful Links
• For Parents & Teachers
• Planning Ahead
• ‘Planning a Funeral’ – online guide
• Arranging a Funeral
• Pre-arranged Funerals
• Dealing with a Deceased’s Estate
• All Categories
• Grief & Bereavement Support
• Knowledge Base
• Funeral Service

How to write a Funeral speech

A funeral speech, also known as a eulogy, is a tribute or remembrance of the person who has passed away. It is typically given by a family member, close friend, or religious leader during the funeral or memorial service. The speech usually includes personal anecdotes, memories, and reflections on the life of the deceased. It is also common to include a message of comfort or hope for the bereaved. The length and style of the speech can vary depending on the occasion, but it is usually a heartfelt and personal tribute to the person who has died.

The purpose of a funeral speech is to celebrate the life of the deceased and to provide comfort and support to those who are grieving. It is also an opportunity for the speaker to express their feelings and say goodbye to the person who has passed away.

When giving a funeral speech, it is important to be prepared and to practice in advance. It is also important to be mindful of the audience and to consider their emotions and needs. It is also important to be mindful of the time and not to prolong the speech, allowing others to also speak and pay their respects.

Overall, a funeral speech is a way to pay tribute to the deceased and to provide comfort to those who are grieving. It is an important part of the funeral or memorial service and should be given with care and thoughtfulness.

•Begin by gathering information:  Start by gathering information, such as their life story, accomplishments, and any memorable experiences or stories you might want to share. If you are a family member you may want to talk to others in the family to get their input and ideas.

•Consider the audience:  Think about who will be attending the funeral or memorial service and what they might want to hear. What do you think would be most meaningful to them?

•Organize your thoughts:  Once you have gathered all of your information, start organizing it into a coherent structure. You might want to consider including an introduction, a body with several main points, and a conclusion.

•Write a draft:  Use your outline to write a draft of the eulogy. Keep in mind that you want to keep the tone respectful and appropriate for the occasion, and try to avoid using jargon or technical language that might be difficult for some people to understand.

•Edit and revise:  Once you have a draft of the eulogy, take some time to edit and revise it. Consider getting feedback from others, to make sure that it is clear, concise, and well-written.

•Practice:  It is a good idea to practice delivering the eulogy before the funeral or memorial service. This will help you feel more confident and comfortable when it is time to deliver it.

Writing and delivering a eulogy can be a challenging and emotional task, but it is also an opportunity to pay tribute to the life of the deceased and offer comfort and support. By following these steps and seeking support when needed, you can create a meaningful and memorable eulogy.

Estate Planning

How To Start a Eulogy: 15 Heartfelt Examples

November 17, 2023

Trustworthy is an intelligent digital vault that protects and optimizes your family's information so that you can save time, money, and enjoy peace of mind.

The intelligent digital vault for families

Trustworthy protects and optimizes important family information so you can save time, money, and enjoy peace of mind

Try it free

Writing a eulogy can be a daunting experience, especially as you’re grieving the loss of a loved one. Many people find starting the eulogy is the hardest part of writing it because you want to create something meaningful but also correct. 

To help you write the perfect beginning to a eulogy, we put together some tips on where to start, plus a list of 15 heartfelt examples.

Key Takeaways 

A good way to start a eulogy is with a simple introduction of yourself and to thank the audience for coming to the service. 

You can add certain things to your eulogy, like quotes, poems, and fond memories.

Avoid talking about yourself for too long in the eulogy, talking too fast, or using super long quotes in your eulogy. 

How to Start a Eulogy

Being chosen to write a eulogy for a loved one is a great honor, which means you want to write it in the best way to pay tribute to the deceased. Here are some tips on how to begin.

Introduce Yourself 

At the start of a eulogy, one of the first things you should include is who you are. Introduce yourself to the listeners, and explain how you know or are related to the deceased. This helps them feel more connected to you.

If you aren’t a family member, you can also offer your condolences to the deceased’s loved ones.

Thank People for Coming 

Thank the audience for coming out to the funeral, memorial, or whatever type of service you are having. This makes them feel appreciated and starts the service off the right way. 

If there are any people who brought food, were part of the planning, or deserve a special mention, you can thank them as well. 

Talk About Your Relationship with the Deceased 

After introducing yourself, you can lead into talking about the relationship you had with the deceased. Mention things they taught you, something special you will always remember them for, or the effect they had on your life.

Share a Quote or Poem

Some people like to start the eulogy with a nice quote or poem they feel is appropriate for the service. It sets the tone for the rest of the speech.

If your loved one had a special saying that people associated with them, it’s appropriate to use it at the start of the eulogy. 

Share a Fond Memory 

There is no right or wrong way to start a eulogy, and you can always share a fond memory of the deceased. 

Sharing memories can evoke feelings of nostalgia and positivity toward the person who passed. Remember, the eulogy is a celebration , a tribute to the deceased. 

Professional Eulogy Writer, Darcey Peterson , advises:

“For a simple example, ‘Aunt Jane was kind and she loved animals.’ Consider instead a memory like, ‘I still remember summer vacations and overnights with Aunt Jane. I always loved helping her with her evening ritual of feeding the dogs and the birds and even the stray neighborhood cats; all before we even sat down for our own dinner!’”

Tell a Story 

You can begin the eulogy by sharing a short story after your opening lines. This is a great way to engage the audience and build a connection with them.

TedX speaker and teacher at the Swiss International School, Brett Simner , advises:

“Tell stories, great stories, the ones that some will know, but not everybody. They can, of course, include professional accomplishments, but they can also be funny or quirky.”

15 Heartfelt Examples of a Eulogy Introduction 

Finding heartfelt words to begin the eulogy with can be difficult. Here are some examples to use as inspiration. 

Starting a Eulogy for a Parent 

Good afternoon. Thank you all for coming. Before I begin, I wanted to read a meaningful poem that reminded me of my mother, [deceased’s name]. [ Poem .]

Dear friends, family and colleagues of [deceased’s name], I am [your name], and it is my greatest honor to reflect on the life of my father, [deceased’s name], today. I’d like to take a moment to share my fondest memory of him. [Share fond memories.] 

For those of you who don’t know me, I am [deceased’s name’s] daughter.

My mother always used to say [insert funny saying], and if she were here with us today, I have no doubt she would think so, too. 

Starting a Eulogy for a Partner 

[Partner’s name] was my prince charming and the man that I loved from the moment I saw him. I remember that day so clearly [insert memory of how you met the deceased.] [Partner’s name] always wore a smile, and if you were having a bad day, he would always try to cheer you up.

Example 5: 

[Partner’s name] once said, [add saying], and I feel like she was speaking about us as a couple. [Partner’s name] was someone I knew I would spend the rest of my life with. [Share memories.] 

Example 6: 

Every love story is beautiful, but ours was my favorite. As [deceased's name’s] partner in life and adventures, I am deeply honored to stand here before you today, not to mourn his passing, but to celebrate the vibrant and inspiring life he led.  

Starting a Eulogy for a Friend 

Example 7: 

[Deceased’s name] was my best friend on and off the basketball court, and I’ll miss all the afternoons we spent playing together. [Share memories.] 

Example 8: 

Good afternoon, my name is [your name], and [deceased’s name] was my friend. I have known [deceased’s name] since we were young children, and I will always remember the time that we [share memory of the deceased].

Example 9: 

Good day, friends and family. I just want to start by thanking you all for coming out this afternoon to celebrate the man we all loved, [deceased’s name], and his family. I know many of you traveled from far to be here with us, and I’m very grateful for that.

Starting a Eulogy for a Child 

Example 10: 

Good day. Thank you all for coming. I know that [child’s name] would be so touched to see you all here honoring her life. [Child’s name] always loved it when the family got together, especially at Christmas. [Share memory.]

Example 11: 

Dear friends and family. I wanted to start with a quote I know [child’s name] would like by Thomas Jefferson : [quote]. [Child’s name] always enjoyed learning about history, and we often visited the local museum. [Share memory.]

Example 12: 

While the passing of [child’s name] is tragic, I know that he would have wanted us to take this moment to celebrate their life and hold our loved ones near. My name is [your name], and [child’s name] was someone who was always cheerful even when things were bad. 

Starting a Eulogy for a Sibling 

Example 13: 

Hi everyone, most of you know me, and to those that don’t, [sibling’s name] was my sister. Growing up with a sister older than you can be tough, [share a funny story], but it also meant that I always had a friend who was there for me. 

Example 14: 

[John 14:27] My sister [sibling’s name] always loved that Bible verse and would often read it to me during times when I was nervous about something. [Sibling’s name] and I were always close. We would often [share a memory].

Example 15: 

Dear friends and family, thank you all for being here. [Sibling’s name] was my younger brother and best friend. If [sibling’s name] were here today, I know he would have said, [insert deceased’s favorite saying]. 

Mistakes to Avoid in the Introduction of Your Eulogy

A eulogy doesn’t have to be perfect, and there are no rules on what to include. It’s all personal. However, there are some mistakes that you should avoid making in the introduction.

Speaking Too Fast

Speaking in front of a bunch of people can be nerve-wracking, especially when you’re talking about something so personal and emotional. However, you should avoid speaking too fast, as some people may struggle to understand you, and the eulogy will feel rushed.

Using Long Quotations or Religious Passages

Beginning the eulogy with a long quotation or religious passage can make it feel impersonal. Long passages can cause the audience to become distracted or lose interest, as they cannot relate to you and the eulogy. 

Giving Too Much Detail About the Death

Avoid oversharing too many personal details about the deceased’s passing, their life and their family. This may cause feelings of embarrassment, especially if the death was a controversial one, like an overdose of drugs. If you’re unsure whether to include something, ask your friends and family first.

Making Unnecessary Jokes

It’s okay to keep things upbeat and lighthearted when starting your eulogy. You can even make a joke or two. However, you should avoid unnecessary humor that can come across as offensive and tasteless. 

Telling Embarrassing Stories About the Deceased

You are welcome to share any fond or (appropriate) funny memories you have of the deceased, but this doesn’t mean you should share embarrassing stories. This can come across as disrespectful and hurt the family’s feelings. 

Bringing Up Grudges

When writing the introduction of the eulogy, you should not bring up any grudges you have between the deceased and their family. Not only is this disrespectful toward the person who passed, but it’s also hurtful to the family. 

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What is a good opening line for a eulogy.

Good afternoon, everyone. My name is [insert name], and [deceased’s name] was my father/mother/sibling/etc. 

How long should a eulogy last?

Generally, you should keep your eulogy between three to seven minutes . Every eulogy is unique, though, so it might be shorter or longer. There is no exactly right answer.

What makes a powerful eulogy?

Make your eulogy powerful by sharing your favorite memories about the deceased and telling stories the audience can relate to.

Try Trustworthy today.

Try the Family Operating System® for yourself. You (and your family) will love it.

View pricing

Try Trustworthy Free

No credit card required.

Explore More Articles

Jun 13, 2024

Will or Living Trust: Which Is Best for You?

Trustworthy

Jun 7, 2024

Estate Closure: What Occurs When an Estate Is Officially Closed?

Ty McDuffey

Understanding Full Code Advance Directives: A Comprehensive Guide

Nash Riggins

Jun 6, 2024

The Critical Role of Advance Directives in Healthcare Planning

Inheritance Law: Does a Spouse Get Everything Automatically?

May 15, 2024

Power of Attorney vs. Will: Understanding the Legal Authority

Ukraine war latest: Russian officials 'thrown out of meeting' for breaking custom; new photos emerge of Putin and Kim's day out

Vladimir Putin has arrived in Vietnam for a state visit after he spent the day in North Korea yesterday, where he signed a defence pact with Kim Jong Un. Got a question on the Ukraine war? Submit it below for our specialists to answer.

Thursday 20 June 2024 17:51, UK

• Vladimir Putin arrives in Vietnam for state visit
• Russia and North Korea sign new defence deal
• Russian officials 'thrown out of meeting' for breaking custom
• South Korea condemns pact and says it will reconsider weapons for Ukraine
• New photos emerge of Putin and Kim's day out
• Analysis: Putin wants to prove he still has friends
• Listen to the Daily above and tap here to follow wherever you get your podcasts

Ask a question or make a comment

The recently signed defence pact between Russia and North Korea is a cause of concern but is no surprise, the White House has said.

Speaking to reporters, White House spokesman John Kirby said the agreement between the two countries was a sign of Russia's desperation for foreign assistance in the Ukraine war.

The deal has seen both countries vow to help each other if they faced armed aggression, and replaces previous treaties between the countries. 

Russia said the pact was needed because of "the deep evolution of the geopolitical situation in the world and the region".

Mr Kirby also said the US would reprioritise planned deliveries of foreign military equipment to go to Ukraine, which is in "desperate need" of more air defence capabilities.

Vladimir Putin has warned that South Korea would be making a "big mistake" if it decides to supply weapons to Ukraine. 

The Russian president's comments come after South Korea said a new defence agreement between North Korea and Moscow was "absurd" and it would reconsider sending arms to Kyiv as a result. 

Mr Putin said Seoul had nothing to worry about when it came to the mutual defence pact. 

Russian state media quoted him as saying that Moscow expected its cooperation with North Korea to serve as a deterrent to the West. 

He also refused to rule out supplying high-precision weapons to the country. 

Russia is considering making changes to its nuclear weapons doctrine, Vladimir Putin has said. 

The Russian president made the comments while speaking to reporters at the end of his Vietnam trip. 

The existing doctrine states that Russia may use such weapons in response to a nuclear strike or in the event of a conventional attack that poses an existential threat to the country. 

Ukrainian troops have been launching mid-range reconnaissance drones in Kharkiv.

Russian forces crossed into parts of the northeastern region last month, and officials claim they have seized at least a dozen villages.

But Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has said Kyiv's forces are gradually pushing Russian troops out of the contested area.

A police search is under way for a woman who allegedly desecrated the graves of Ukrainian soldiers.

Kyiv city's prosecutor's office said the unknown woman vandalised the graves this morning. 

Commemorative plaques and lamps were torn off and broken, it said.

The Ukrainian flag was also "mutilated", it added.

"Operational investigations and searches are being carried out to establish the woman's identity," the office said in post on Telegram. 

If caught and found guilty, the woman could face up to five years in prison. 

We have been reporting today on Vladimir Putin's visit to Vietnam.

Here is a recap of what the Russian president has been up to: 

• Mr Putin signed a series of deals with his Vietnamese counterpart To Lam during his state visit;
• The two leaders signed agreements to further co-operation on education, science and technology, oil and gas exploration and health;
• They also agreed to work on a road map for a nuclear science and technology centre in Vietnam;
• Following the talks, Mr Putin said that the two countries share an interest in "developing a reliable security architecture" in the Asia-Pacific region based on not using force and peacefully settling disputes with no room for "closed military-political blocs";
• The Russian leader also met Vietnam's Prime Minister Pham Minh Chinh and is scheduled to meet Communist Party general secretary Nguyen Phu Trong - Vietnam's most powerful politician;
• The trip has resulted in a sharp rebuke from the US embassy in the country.

Volodymyr Zelenskyy has said Romania's decision to provide his country with two Patriot air defence systems will strengthen security in Ukraine and throughout Europe.

"This crucial contribution will bolster our air shield and help us better protect our people and critical infrastructure from Russian air terror," the Ukrainian president said on X.

The Patriot, which stands for Phased Array Tracking Radar for Intercept on Target, is a surface-to-air missile defence system.

For months now, Ukraine has been calling for countries to provide more air defence systems to help protect it from Russian attacks. 

The next NATO leader is now all but certain after Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte's last rival dropped out of the race.

He's now the only person running to be Jens Stoltenberg's successor when he steps down from the secretary-general role in October. 

Romanian President Klaus Iohannis dropped out of the race earlier today and Hungary lifted its veto on Mr Rutte's candidacy, paving the way for NATO to put on a show of unity over support for Ukraine.

Mr Rutte's appointment could be sealed by a meeting of NATO ambassadors in the coming days, or by the leaders when they meet in Washington in July for the alliance's 75th birthday.

NATO secretaries-general are responsible for chairing meetings and guiding consultations among the 32 member countries to ensure that the organisation, which operates on consensus, can continue to function.

Mr Rutte has already had to assure Hungary that he will not force it to take part in NATO plans to provide support to Ukraine.

Turkey, which had voiced opposition to Mr Rutte's bid earlier this year, has also lifted its objections. 

Romania will donate two operational Patriot systems to Ukraine, the country's supreme defence council has announced.

The council said the decision was "based on an in-depth technical evaluation" and "all measures were being taken to eliminate the risk of creating possible vulnerabilities for Romania". 

In a statement, it reiterated that Romania's position will continue to be that Ukraine has a "legitimate right" to defend itself against Vladimir Putin's invasion.

For context:  Patriot, which stands for Phased Array Tracking Radar for Intercept on Target, is a surface-to-air missile defence system.

Ukraine has said it needs more air defence systems to protect against the barrage of missile and drones strikes from Russian forces.

While the Patriot system is designed to intercept threats like aircraft and ballistic missiles, it can also shoot down the "kamikaze" drones Russia has frequently sent to hit Ukrainian infrastructure.

Ukrainian troops have been examining a recently captured Russian battle tank in the eastern Donetsk region.

Donetsk is one of four regions illegally annexed by Russia, but Moscow's forces only partially control it.

Fighting along the roughly 620-mile front line has focused on the area in recent months, but both sides have failed to make any breakthroughs. 

Be the first to get Breaking News

Install the Sky News app for free

• Condolences & What To Say

What to Say at a Funeral Service or Wake: 15+ Ideas

Updated 12/27/2022

Published 12/12/2019

Sam Tetrault, BA in English

Contributing writer

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

Attending a funeral isn’t always easy. Funerals are a chance for the family to come together to mourn and remember a loved one. Paying your respects is a way to show your support. However, feeling unsure of the words to say at a funeral is a common experience. How do you approach someone who’s mourning a loss? How do you avoid saying the wrong thing?

Funeral Gift Ideas

• Wine Country Gift Baskets Sympathy Gift Basket ($49.95)
• Sympathy Plant ($38.02)
• Personalized Photo Frame ($31.99)
• Willow Tree Angel Figurine ($29.94)
• Memorial Windchimes ($59.98)
• Memorial Garden Stone ($45.27)
• The Year of Magical Thinking Book on Grief ($11.71)
• Snack Gift Basket ($45.99)
• Fruit and Nut Gift Basket ($25.06)
• Self-Care Subscription Box ($39.99)

Jump ahead to these sections:

What to say if your loved one died, what should you avoid saying at a funeral, what to say to close family and friends at their loved one’s funeral, what to say to acquaintances, colleagues, or clients at their loved one’s funeral, what to say at a funeral visitation or wake.

• Quick Tips for Public Speaking at a Funeral

Funeral Speech Examples

These answers aren’t always straightforward. Offering your condolences is an integral part of the funeral process, but it’s also one of the hardest things to do comfortably. Understanding proper funeral etiquette goes a long way towards helping you know what to say. The better prepared you are, the easier it is to find those perfect words of sympathy. 

Share your final wishes, just in case.

Create a free Cake end-of-life planning profile and instantly share your health, legal, funeral, and legacy decisions with a loved one.

If you’re close to the deceased, you might find yourself the center of attention at the funeral. Guests usually reach out to the close family to offer words of kindness and support, but these aren’t always easy to handle. 

What do you say if your loved one died? How do you avoid being overcome with emotion? Because this is often a challenge, follow these tips below:

• Practice makes perfect - Don’t be afraid to practice what you’ll say in advance. Practice with yourself and with other close family members. The more you say what you’ve prepared, the easier it will be. 
• Make sure you have the right tech for online guests - If you chose to use a virtual funeral  using a service like  GatheringUs , you can still speak to your online guests. Coordinate with your planning team and ensure you have the right AV equipment.
• Keep it short and sweet - Avoid the pressure to say more than you need to. Keep your comments quick and to the point. 
• Set boundaries - It’s okay to have boundaries about what you’re willing to talk about. You don’t have to answer any uncomfortable questions or say more than you feel comfortable with. 
• Find your support system - Lean on close friends and family at the funeral for support. It’s okay to distance yourself from those you don’t wish to speak with right now. This is your time to grieve. 

Tip:  Figuring out what to say is just one of the many challenges you can face when someone you love dies. Our post-loss checklist can help you face and overcome those challenges, whether they're legal, financial, or personal.

Examples of what to say

Since words aren’t always easy to find, it helps to have a few examples of what to say. Again, short and simple is almost always best. Here is what to say to your friends and family if your close loved one died.

• This is a difficult loss. I was very close to [Name].
• [Name] a large part of my life. I’ll never forget their kindness. 
• [Name] will be missed by the entire family. 
• We are all so sorry for this loss. [Name] was loved by many. 

It’s important to realize that not everything is appropriate for a funeral. Some phrases can do more harm than good, even if they’re coming from a kind place. Some outdated phrases might be well-intentioned, but they send the wrong message to friends and family in need. While it’s understandably difficult to find the right words to say, the wrong comments only make matters worse.

With that in mind, what should you avoid saying at a funeral? Anything that could be seen as making light of the situation or poking blame should be avoided at all costs. You never want to place blame on the deceased, their family, or anyone else associated with the funeral. No matter the circumstances around the death of this person, you should be aware of the power of your words.

Examples of what not to say

What phrases should always be avoided? Though there are many variations on these below, you’d be surprised how common they are. It doesn’t take much thinking to recognize why these are completely unacceptable to say to a grieving individual, no matter how much time has passed since the loss.

• It could always be worse. 
• I’m not surprised they died. 
• It was fate/destiny. 
• His/her death was a part of God’s plan.
• Everything happens for a reason. 
• It was his/her time. 
• Death is a part of the circle of life. It’s only natural. 
• You still have it better than others. 
• It was harder when I lost my own loved one.
• You’ll get over this soon. 
• You’re still young.

In general, always avoid any phrases like “it’s better…” or “at least…” since these make unfair comparisons. There’s no way to measure loss. You should never compare your own experiences to someone else’s, no matter how hard these were for you. Similarly, never suggest that someone mourning should feel any differently. Grief takes many forms, and it’s okay to process these feelings in your own way. 

When in doubt, use these phrases below. You never want to say anything that could be taken the wrong way. When in doubt, it’s best to keep your response simple. There’s never anything wrong with saying you’re sorry for someone’s loss. Above all, people just want to be heard and understood. You don’t need to make any bold claims or comparisons. 

If you’re attending the funeral to support friends and family in their time of need, it’s a good idea to give thought to what you plan to say. Offering sympathy to those you’re close to might mean the world to them. Yet, knowing what to say to someone who lost a parent or a close relative is difficult. 

If you haven’t experienced a similar loss for yourself, you might have a hard time understanding what he or she is going through. Follow these tips to stay courteous and respectful:

• Practice your tone - Again, this is a situation where practice makes perfect. Aside from practicing what you’ll say, practice your tone. You want to make sure you sound sincere but not overly emotional. An even tone is ideal. 
• Don’t overly sympathize - If you’ve never experienced this type of loss, don’t try to compare your situation to someone else’s. Keep the focus of your sympathy messages on them. 
• Avoid the afterlife - Even if you know someone’s religious background, it’s best to avoid talk of the afterlife in what you say. That means avoiding phrases like “he’s in a better place” or “she’s in heaven now.” Again, limit your comments to the person you’re speaking to and not on what’s happened to the deceased. 
• Don’t make light of the situation - Keep from telling jokes or making light of the situation. Grief affects everyone differently, and everyone is entitled to their own feelings. 
• Give a gift - If you’re not good at finding the right words, offer a gift instead. Funeral flowers , a sympathy gift basket , or other kind gestures are other ways to be respectful. 
• Let them grieve - Last but not least, let your friend or family member know it’s okay to grieve. Be the emotional support they need. 

It’s best to have your best speech filter on when attending a funeral. Be mindful of your words and how they come across. When in doubt, say one of these sympathy messages below. 

• I’m sorry for your loss. 
• [Name] was a loved community member. We will all miss them.
• Your family is in my thoughts and prayers at this time. 
• Let me know if you need anything right now. I’m here for you. 
• I have fond memories of your [relationship to the deceased]. 

What do you say when you’re not very close to someone who lost a loved one? If your acquaintance, colleague, client, or other relation recently suffered a loss, it is polite to offer sympathy. Since you don’t know this person well, keep things simple. You don’t want to overstep. 

Fumbling over your words isn’t uncommon when you’re faced with someone else’s grief. These tips will guide you in being respectful and kind:

• Timing matters - Your condolences should be given at the time that’s best for the individual, not you. If you wish to say something to a coworker, for example, the end of the day is usually best. 
• Don’t bring it up yourself - If you know someone recently suffered a loss, saying something unprompted might bring up painful feelings for that person. If you decide to check in with their wellbeing, do so carefully. 
• Join with others - If you don’t know the person very well, it might be better to offer sympathy in a communal way. For an office, having everyone sign a card is a gentle way to give support. The recipient still knows everyone is thinking of them in their time of need. 

It’s better to say something than to avoid saying anything. Though it might be uncomfortable, don’t let these feelings get in the way of this person’s grief. Here are some polite things to say when the timing is right:

• “I’m sorry for your loss.”
• “My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.”
• “Is there any way I can help?”

At a funeral visitation or wake, the body is typically present. In many cultures, a visitation or wake is a chance to pay initial respects to the family and say goodbye to the deceased. However, it can be confusing to know what to say. Wakes are an opportunity to be present in the moment, using your words to bring positivity and compassion.

There are many different types of funeral visitations or wakes. In some cultures, these are informal events that take place inside the home of the deceased. These are usually only open to close friends and family. If you’re invited to a home wake, be sure to deliver your condolences briefly and avoid overstaying your welcome. 

Additionally, you might be invited to a visitation before a funeral. This is usually more formal than a wake, and the family will be present. Many funerals also include a receiving line in which you greet each member of the immediate family directly before visiting with the deceased. All of these are somber events, so you should be prepared with appropriate ways to pay respects. 

What should you say when offering condolences at a wake? While your exact words might depend on your relationship with the deceased and his or her family, there are a lot of ways to show respect. When paired with flowers, a sympathy card, or other condolence gifts, these truly show how much you care. 

• “While I wish we were here under different circumstances, I’m honored to be present here today with your family.” 
• “You’ve organized a very special wake in honor of [Name]. I know how much they meant to you. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
• “You’ve done a great job putting together this wake in honor of your loved one. Is there anything I can help you with? I’m always here for you.” 
• “I just wanted to remind you how much I care for you. [Name] was an amazing person, and I’ll never forget them.” 
• “It’s clear just how loved [Name] was. Their loss will be felt by all.” 
• “I can’t begin to express how sorry I am to hear about your loss. Please know I’m here for you today and always. If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to reach out.” 
• “Even though I didn’t know [Name] very well, I know how much they meant to you. I’m so sorry for your loss.” 

Quick Tips for Public Speaking at a Funeral 

It’s common for the family to ask if any guests wish to speak at the funeral. Speaking at a funeral is a great way to express your feelings about the loss of a loved one, particularly if you were close to this person.

You also might give a speech if you’re close to a family member of the deceased. He or she might ask you to speak on their behalf or to talk about their relationship with their loved one. However, public speaking when emotions are running high isn’t always easy. 

No matter your comfort level with talking in front of others, this is an intimidating situation. You want to handle the situation with grace and confidence, even if you have to fake it until you make it. These tips will help you with public speaking at a funeral. 

1. Write what you’ll say in advance 

The best way to prepare is to write what you want to say in advance. For this, learn how to write a eulogy . Eulogies are a type of praise honoring someone who’s passed away. By writing a eulogy or other speech, you make sure you don’t leave anything out during the delivery. 

While writing down your speech is a great idea, avoid reading directly from the paper. Jotting down notes or practicing in advance gives you more confidence. 

2. Tell a story

When in doubt, tell a story. As humans, we communicate through stories. This is a sure way to gain the audience’s attention while expressing something significant about the deceased.

For example, you might share how the deceased helped you in a time of need or a special trip you took together. Either way, keep the focus on the deceased and the family. 

3. Don’t speak for too long

While a speech is an amazing way to pay respects to a loved one, you don’t want to take too long. The ideal time frame for a funeral speech is between three and five minutes. Anything more than that risks losing the audience’s attention.

You also don’t want to take away from the rest of the service or anyone else's opportunity to say a few words. 

4. Do calming exercises

Public speaking is intimidating under the best of circumstances. When also dealing with a loss, it’s hard to stop feeling overwhelmed. If possible, perform calming exercises before speaking. These put you in the right frame of mind to speak. Here are some tips to help you feel calm and help you to hold back unwanted tears :

• Take deep breaths
• Rely on a friend or family member for support
• Drink water
• Go for a short walk in the hallway or nearby

5. Address the family

When giving your speech, make sure you’re addressing the family. Speak to the front row. These are the ones who were closest to the deceased, and they’re the ones who listen the most attentively.

When addressing someone directly, such as a close friend or family member, look at them. This makes your speech much more personal.  

Giving a speech at a funeral can be intimidating, especially if you’ve never given one before. Using a funeral speech example as inspiration can help you approach this challenge with ease. The tribute for every speech has a basic flow, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. The most important thing is that your funeral speech comes from the heart. 

Below, you’ll find funeral speech examples for a variety of situations. If you’ve been given the honor to speak at a funeral, don’t stress about finding the “right” thing to say. The words are inside you already, and you just have to speak from your heart.

For a parent’s funeral

For anyone who doesn’t know me yet, I am Johnathan’s daughter, Mandy. Thank you for joining me today to say goodbye to my dad. From my earliest days, my dad was one of my best friends. He was the loudest one cheering me on at my tennis tournaments, and he was the person I always looked to for guidance. His kind of love was unconditional. Even in the bad times, he knew that a hug and a warm cup of tea had the power to turn the whole day around. 

Though I like to think I’m the favorite child, I know my dad didn’t play favorites. He loved me and my sisters equally, and holidays will never be the same now that he’s gone. As you know, my dad had a love of 80s rock music that couldn’t be beat. In conclusion, I wanted to read some of his favorite Queen lyrics in his honor. Thank you for listening. 

For a grandparent’s funeral

Today, I’m honored to celebrate the life of my grandpa, Abe, though we all knew him as “Poppy.” Born in 1935, he was always a storyteller. Whether he was entertaining his uncles in his early childhood or his buddies at college, he was never caught without something to say. He always said that’s how he won over Grandma—with a story. 

Above all, Poppy was a family man. He knew it was important to put family first in all things, and this is a lesson I hope to carry with me for the rest of my own days. A devoted husband, father, and friend, there’s no one I admire more than my grandpa. His life with Gran was inspirational, and I feel relief knowing he’s finally at peace after a long battle with cancer. Family dinners might never be the same, but he’ll always be remembered. Here’s to you, Poppy!

For a partner or spouse’s funeral

As most of you know, my name is Janice. I met Scott, my husband, over two decades ago. I had just moved to Toronto, and he was one of the first people I met at my new apartment complex. I’ll never forget him showing me around the city for the first time. We were married within the very same year, and I count my blessings for meeting him every day.

We had 15 years of marriage together, and we shared so much love. He gave me two beautiful children, and they love him just as much as me. Scott and I might not have gotten our entire lives together, but the time we did have was so worthwhile. Being his wife made me the luckiest woman in the world. Though things will never be the same, I see him living on through the resilience of his children and the kindness of our friends and family. Thank you for being here with me to celebrate his life.

For a sibling’s funeral

When asked about my brother, Dylan, I always say he has a sixth sense. Even as a child, he always knew when I was having an off day or when he could press me even farther with his teasing. I have a vivid memory of him around 13 years old stopping a neighborhood game to invite one of more quiet kids to hang out with them. This was a simple gesture, but it just goes to show how observant he was. 

Even as an adult, Dylan and I always had a connection. My only brother, he was always just a phone call away for me or anyone else in the family. I’ll miss my brother like I miss the summer sun. Though it can’t stay forever, I can always feel its warmth. A fearless, kind man, I am so thankful to have been blessed with him in my life. 

For a child’s funeral

Though I’m sure we all wish we were gathering today under different circumstances, thank you for being here. My name is Susan, and I’m Jamie’s aunt. I’ll be speaking on behalf of my brother, James, and his wife, Melissa. I’ll never forget the day my brother called to let me know Melissa was pregnant with Jamie. I knew she was a special blessing right from that moment. 

Once Jamie was here, she instantly brought light to our lives. She was always a happy baby, and her smile is something we’ll never forget. Endeared to everyone who met her, she was an absolute angel. Though her life was short, her warmth was felt by all. Even when she and her parents spent so many days at the hospital, she never once wavered in her courage. I invite anyone who wishes to share some of your favorite memories of Jamie with us all.

For a best friend’s funeral

Hi all, thank you for coming today. My name is Jessica, and I’ve been friends with Kelly since I first moved to her neighborhood in kindergarten. We lived just a few houses apart, and we must have spent almost every day together from elementary to high school. When I think of Kelly, I think of someone who loved to explore and laugh. Whether we were sneaking out after curfew or hosting an infamous movie night, Kelly was my partner in crime for everything. 

More than an adventure-seeker, Kelly was also a generous soul. I could always count on her to drop everything to help anyone in need, whether it’s a close friend or someone she just met. She put her family first, and she knew what really mattered most in life. Though I’m sad to have lost my best friend, I am happy to have been blessed with so many years by her side. I know she’ll always be with me, and I hope I make her proud. Thank you.

For a colleague’s funeral

Today, we gather to honor our dear College Louie. We were all saddened to hear of his passing last month. The community has lost a warm, hard-working individual. Many of us here counted Louie amongst our friends and with good reason. Quick to offer his help, knowledge, or a funny quip, Louie was a friend to all. 

At our company, Louie served with compassion for over three decades. His work affected every department and level. As a leader, he fought for innovation and change without putting others down. In his honor, we will be dedicated a special volunteer program each year towards a cause he cared greatly about: education. Let’s all remember Louie’s hard work and what he meant to our team.

Discover the Right Words of Sympathy

While it might seem insignificant, how you express your sympathy to those you love really matters. Those words and gestures might mean everything to them in their time of need. Yet, finding the right words to say isn’t always easy. Funerals are often uncomfortable or even awkward because of this.

These events don’t have to be this way. But, you’ll never be in the dark about what to say if you use these tips and tricks above.

Have you given much thought to your own end-of-life planning ? There are tons of options, from having a virtual funeral service to turning ashes into a cremation diamond . Thinking about how you’d like to be remembered might inspire you to offer kind and generous condolences to your loved ones when they need it. 

Post-loss tip: If you are the executor for a deceased loved one, the emotional and technical aspects of handling their unfinished business can be overwhelming without a way to organize your process. We have a post-loss checklist  that will help you ensure that your loved one's family, estate, and other affairs are taken care of.

Categories:

• Funeral Etiquette

You may also like

Is It Wrong If You Don't Want to Attend the Funeral?

What to Say When Someone Dies

12 Things to Say to Someone Going to a Funeral

10 Things You Can Do When a Friend’s Parent Dies