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Essays About Jealousy: Top 11 Examples and Writing Prompts

Jealousy is an undesirable yet persistent feeling throughout our lives; if you want to write essays about jealousy, read the essay examples and writing prompts featured in our guide.

It is only human to envy what others have from time to time: their money, house, and relationships. However, there is only so far you can go until jealousy becomes toxic and detrimental to your well-being. We must control our jealousy, stop thinking of others’ fortune, and focus on ourselves. 

Despite its negative effects, jealousy is an intrinsic feeling in humanity, inspiring writers, artists, and directors throughout the centuries. This feeling is at the core of some of the most fantastic literature of all time: William Shakespeare’s Hamlet and Othello , William Golding’s Lord of the Flies , and F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby . 

You can start by reading these examples to write insightful essays about jealousy. 

1. Jealousy Is a Wasted Emotion by Joshua Fields Millburn

2. listen to what your jealousy is telling you by vivian nunez, 3. jealousy, envy are reflections of insecurity by john stathas, 4.  lenten reflection -how envy hurts us by james sano.

  • 5. ​​Why I Refuse to Be Jealous of My Partners’ Exes by Nancy Einhart

Writing Prompts on Essays about Jealousy

1. what is jealousy , 2. what causes jealousy, 3. how jealousy can affect your mental health, 4. how can you control your jealousy, 5. jealousy in literature and popular culture, 6. your experience with jealousy.

“The easiest way to turn jealousy off is to stop questioning other people’s intentions. We often get jealous because we think a person meant one thing by their actions, when they meant something totally different. And the truth is that you’ll never know someone’s real intent, so it’s a waste of time to question it.

In his essay, Millburn writes about how to avoid jealousy and its adverse effects. It enforces standards in which we all try to be a certain way, free from individuality, and is terrible for people’s emotional health. But unlike most other emotions, we can “turn it off.” Millburn says we should stop being so critical of others’ intentions and give them the benefit of the doubt. 

“But I’ve slowly made peace with the fact that my jealousy will always be a part of me. I’ve started finding solace in this envy. Lately, for example, I’ve been feeling jealous of those who have childhood homes they can go back to. I wish my boyfriend and I and our dog could go see my mom and have her fold us into her home while we figured out the next steps of our lives.”

Nunez takes a different approach to jealousy in this essay; rather than trying to purge it, she writes that we should let it guide us as with all other emotions. We are only human, after all. According to her, jealousy is a reflection of our most vulnerable side, and we should not try to purge it if we want to be healthy. Nunez gives examples from her childhood in which ignoring her jealousy affected her badly.

“If envy is your problem, examine what is that all about.  What is missing in your life that causes you to envy something of another? What in you needs to be added or shored up? A healthy person does not allow envy to sully one’s soul.”

In a way echoing the statements of Nunez, Stathas discusses how jealousy reveals one’s fear, insecurity, and anxiety. However, he believes jealousy and envy can ruin your life if left unchecked. One possible solution is talking to the person inciting such jealousy and asking for reassurance; however, this is not for everyone, and it can be enough to focus on oneself merely. 

“It is interesting that other sins promise at least some sort of short-term returns to us, but envy offers none.  Envy can corrode our hearts, weaken our minds, and destroy our peace.  It only brings sadness and anger, and we lose our orientation towards Christ, who died of self for love of others.  Envy is the opposite of love, as true love is an unconditional willing of the good for another. ‘Love your neighbor, as yourself.’”

Sano writes his essay from a religious perspective, discussing jealousy in the context of the Bible and sin. Jealousy or envy is a toxic trait that makes us unhappy about others’ achievements and is considered a grave sin. Sano gives some examples of parables about envy and writes that if we learn to love others as we love ourselves, we can get rid of the envy in our hearts. 

5. ​​ Why I Refuse to Be Jealous of My Partners’ Exes by Nancy Einhart

“When I see people consumed by jealousy about their partners’ pasts, I feel bad for them. Jealously doesn’t make your relationship more stable or build trust in your relationship; in fact, it can erode trust in a poisonous way. So resolve to fight your jealous instinct, because your life will be fuller without it, and you might even make a friend along the way.”

In her essay, Einhart details possible reasons for her to be jealous and why she actively rejects jealousy in her life. Rather than being jealous of her partner’s relationships with his exes, she is grateful that these people made her partner into who he is today. She also recalls her divorced parents’ friendship with each others’ exes or new partners, as well as her friendship with her ex-boyfriend’s wife. Jealousy is a waste of time and energy that could better be directed toward strengthening a relationship. 

An excellent essay to write can talk about your thoughts on jealousy. First, define jealousy, then reflect on your experiences with this feeling and what it means to you- when have you been jealous before? How did it make you feel? You can also briefly touch on its causes and effects, but do not go too in-depth. Do not base your essay on the experiences of others; it should reflect your own experiences. 

Essays about Jealousy: What causes jealousy?

From happy relationships to a new car to outstanding academic achievements- there are many possible causes of jealousy. Your essay can examine why people may be jealous and how they relate to one another. If you wish, give examples of instances in which others were jealous for reasons mentioned in your essay. 

Most of the time, jealousy is destructive to one’s mental health. Research on the adverse effects of jealousy: in what ways can jealousy hinder you? Write about how jealousy can affect your well-being and give concrete examples. Be sure to cite credible sources, as this topic has been the subject of much research. 

Since jealousy affects your mental health negatively, it is essential to be able to resist or at least control it. Your essay can advise readers on regulating jealousy or keeping it from consuming you. Read the essay examples above for different perspectives on jealousy and how to respond to it. 

As stated previously, jealousy is a theme in many famous works of literature. Choose a novel, play, movie, or television program in which jealousy plays an important role. Explain how jealousy is present and how it impacts the plot and characters. Cite quotes from your chosen work for a more solid evidence base in your essay. 

It is only human to feel jealous from time to time. Write about an experience where you were jealous of something or someone- do you regret it? Reflect on this experience, retell the story, and explain how you felt: what or who were you jealous of? Would you do anything differently now? Answer these questions for an engaging and inspiring essay.

Check out our guide packed full of transition words for essays . If you’re still stuck, check out our available resource for essay writing topics .

how to start an essay about jealousy

Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.

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Jealousy Essay- Causes, Effects and Handeling Techniques

Jealousy Essay- Causes, Effects and Handeling Techniques

In this Post, you will read an Persuasive Jealousy Essay. Its a human attribute. Also you will know its definition, causes, effects and handeling techniques.

So, lets understant Jealousy…

Table of Contents

Definition of Jealousy

Jealousy is defined as a complex emotion that includes feelings, from fear of abandonment to rage and humiliation. It hits people of all ages, sexes and sexual orientation, and most often wakes up when a person perceives a threat to a valuable relationship from a third party. The danger can be real or imagined.

Nobody likes to be jealous. However, jealousy is an unavoidable emotion that most of us experience. The problem with suspicion is not that it occurs occasionally, but what it does to us when we don’t catch it.

The experience of what happens when jealousy overpowers us or shapes the way we feel about ourselves and the world can be frightening. There must understand where the resentments come and how should deal it in a healthy , adaptive way in many areas of our lives like interpersonal relationships, through careers to personal goals.

Causes and Types of Jealousy

Studies have shown that larger jealousy correlates with smaller self-esteem. “Many of us are often ignorant of the rudimentary disgrace that lives in us because it routinely arrives at considering us self-critically. The shame in our past can strongly affect the extent to which we feel jealous and uncertain in the present.

Dr. Lisa Firestone, author of “Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice,” define, “critical inner voice” is a form of harmful speech. It consolidates destructive thoughts and feelings, forcing us to compare, evaluate, and judge ourselves (and often others) with high accuracy. This is one reason learning to deal with jealousy is such impacts.

This voice can fuel our sense of jealousy, filling our heads with critical and suspicious commentary. What are the compelling inner views tells us that our situation is often harder to bear itself?

Our partner’s rejection or betrayal is painful, but what often hurt us is all the terrible things that remember about ourselves after this event. “You are such a fool. Did you think you could be happy ? – You’ll finish yourself. You should never faith anyone again. “

To illustrate how this internal enemy feeds our negative feelings about jealousy, we’ll look closely at two types of envy: romantic resentment and competitive jealousy.

Although these two forms of jealousy often overlap. Considering them can help us better understand how they affect different areas of our lives and how to best cope with it.

Relationship jealousy

The fundamental reality is to ease relationships when people don’t get too jealous. The more we can master our sense of resentment and distinguish it from our partner, the better. Remember that our jealousy often comes from uncertainty within ourselves.

The feeling we are condemned to cheating, hurting, or rejecting. Unless we can handle this feeling within ourselves, we will probably fall victim to feelings of jealousy, distrust, or uncertainty in any relationship, regardless of the circumstances.

Competitive jealousy

Although it may seem pointless or illogical, it is natural to want what others have and to feel competitive. However, the way we use these sentiments is essential for our grade of approval and happiness.

If we use these sentiments to assist our inner critic, demolish ourselves or others, this is a destructive pattern with demoralizing effects. However, if we do not let these feelings fall into the hands of our critical inner voice, we can use them to recognize what we want.

Some more reasons of Jealousy

These negative feelings about us come from early experiences in our lives. We often accept the feelings that our parents or important guardians had towards us or each other. Then, unconsciously, we recreate or react to the old, known dynamics in our relationships.

For example, if we felt rejected as children, we can easily see our partner as ignoring us. We can choose a partner who is more elusive or even engages in behaviors that would push our partner away.

However, regardless of our unique experience, we all have this internal critic to some extent. The area to which this fear effects, how threatened we would explore in a relationship. Like a sadistic trainer, our critical inner voice tells us not to trust or be too sensitive.

It reminds us we are unloved and we don’t feel like having an affair. This whisper plants the seeds of doubt, suspicion, and uncertainty. “Why does she work late?” “Why does she choose her friends before me?” “What does she even do when I’m away?” “Why does he pay so much attention to what he says?”

Those of us, well renowned with how jealousy works, understand that all too often these ideas will gradually sprout and bloom into much larger, more in-depth attacks on ourselves and/or our partner.

“She doesn’t want to be with you. There must be someone else. – He’s losing interest. I want to break free from you. – Who would listen to you? You are so boring.

Effects of Jealousy

It is okay, even healthy, to afford a competitive thought. It may feel good when we allow ourselves to feel temporarily without judgment or an action plan. However, if we think or turn this thought into self-criticism or an attack on another person, we will be hurt. If we feel overreaction or jealousy, we can do a few things.

Think about specific events that make you feel agitated. Is this a friend financially successful ? A former dating someone else? A colleague who speaks at meetings?

Ask yourself what critical internal voices appear. What thoughts evoke these jealous feelings? Do you use these feelings of jealousy to put off?

Do they make you feel insignificant, unsuccessful, incapable, etc.? Is there a pattern or motif in these thoughts that seem familiar?

Think about the more profound implications and beginnings of these thoughts: Do you feel some pressure to achieve a particular thing? Should you be something? What would this mean for you? Is this related to your past?

We can have more compassion for us and trial to hover judgments that lead us to insecurity.

How to deal with jealousy?

1. think about what is waking up.

Daniel Siegel applies the acronym SIFT to explain how we can move the impressions, feelings, images, and thoughts that arise when we think about specific problems in our lives. We should try to do it when we feel jealous.

We can think about what feelings, pictures, and thoughts arouse. Does the scenario release something old – a dynamic or long-term negative self-perception?

The more we can combine these emotions or exaggerated reactions with the past events that created them, the more we can feel in our jealous situation.

2. Calm down and remain vulnerable

No matter how jealous we are, we can recover and relax. It can do this first by acknowledging our strong sentiments with compassion. Remember that no issue how powerful seem, our feelings overtake in waves, the first building, and then falling.

It is possible to accept and recognize our jealousy without acting on others. We can learn tools to calm down before the reaction, for example, a walk or deep breaths.

It is much easier to calm down in this way when we refuse to indulge in the angry words of our internal critic. So it is necessary to learn how to do it. When we do this, we can defend ourselves and the people we care about, remain sensitive and open in our relationships.

3. Don’t react

Our critical inner voice advises us to take actions that can hurt us in the long run. When it makes us jealous, it can tell us to give up or stop pursuing what we want. This can lead to self-protection, blow up, or punish someone whom we hate.

If we’re in a relationship, it can tell us to be icy or hit our partner. When we do this, we create the dynamics fear. We can hurt and undermine our partners’ feelings for us and arouse their feelings of distrust.

We may unwittingly encourage them to become more closed, less open to their feelings, thoughts, and actions, which then increases our feelings of suspicion and jealousy.

4. Look for your sense of security

The best it can do is control on feeling stable and secure within ourself. We must do the work to beat our internal jealous thoughts.

Criticize and believe that everything is excellent, even alone. We don’t need the love of a particular person to think that we’re loved. People are full of flaws and limitations, and no one can give us what we need 100 percent of the time.

That is why it is essential to practice compassion and learn how to oppose our internal critic. This does not mean closing people or cutting off what we want.

It means embracing our lives with all our heart while being convinced that we are strong enough to fail or lose. Regardless of everything, we can handle emerging emotions.

5. Stay competitive

Many people don’t agree with ​​competing, but it’s not about being the best, but about your personal goal to be the best. This means we feel ourselves and accept the qualities that will serve us in pursuing what we want.

If we wish to respect us, we must be attentive and thoughtful in our interactions. If we feel the consistent love of our partner, we must commit to engaging in love deeds every day. If we keep our desire to act honestly and follow our goals, we win the most crucial battle we face

6. Unload your sorrows

When something like jealousy takes control, it’s essential to find the right person to talk and a healthy way of expressing what we feel. People who support us positively and help to stop us from chewing or deeply immersed in our sorrows are friends with whom we want to talk about our jealousy.

We all have friends who are a little too tired when we talk about specific topics, and may not be the best friends to look for when we feel aroused and nervous. It should try to find people who will support us, staying on the right path, and being the people we want to be.

Giving up to these friends is fine as far as releasing our irrational thoughts and feelings while acknowledging that they are exaggerated and ridiculous. This process works when it frees us from feelings and allows us to go further and take reasonable actions. If you are jealous, it is wise to seek help from a therapist. It will help us understand our feelings and control them,

In a relationship, maintain open, honest communication with our partner. If we hope they will trust them and that they will have ours, we must listen to what they say without defending ourselves or giving judgment.

This open communication is not about releasing our uncertainty on our partner, but about enabling ourselves to be friendly and connected, even when we feel insecure or jealous. This helps our partner do the same.

You need some emotional maturity to deal with many feelings around jealousy. We need to face our critical internal voice and any uncertainties it generates. You also need the willpower to step back and resist our impulsive, jealous reactions.

However, when we support this power ourselves, we realize that we are much stronger than we think. By discovering how to deal with jealousy, we become more protected in us and our relationships.

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15 Journal Prompts To Help You Manage Jealousy Effectively

Having jealous thoughts lately? It’s okay! You will be lying to yourself if you believe you have NEVER felt jealous! We all get green-eyed every once in a while. Though jealousy is a complex emotion, it is pretty natural and expected. The key is to understand that we all feel negative emotions but how we deal with them sets us apart! You need to learn to cope with jealousy and not let it take over the peace in your life. This post will discuss how to use journaling and journal prompts for jealousy to help you overcome this negative emotion. Let’s look at it in detail!

Will Using Journal Prompts for Jealousy a Help Me Cope?

Feeling jealous is no surprise! Imagine this, You saw your friend spend time with others while you struggled for attention! Your spouse is spending too much time with new friends! What is the most probable emotion you’ll feel? Yes, jealousy!

Jealousy often leads to anger , resentment , anxiety , and sadness. A healthy way to deal with this emotion is through journaling! Here is how journaling helps:

Finding the Root Cause 

The feelings of jealousy stem from one’s insecurities. There is usually a strong belief behind these feelings, which indicates a lack of confidence . When someone thinks they are not good enough or cannot get enough, they become jealous. 

Journaling about your feelings helps you find the root cause. Writing leads to more underpinned thoughts and feelings which might not come into mind consciously. 

Once the root cause is traced, it is easy to combat jealousy. 

Working Through Emotions

Dealing with complex emotions such as jealousy can be tricky. It is tiring and frustrating to let the thoughts play in your head over and over. Frequent negative thoughts also lead to resentment and anger . 

Journaling brings emotional catharsis. Letting all your emotions out on paper is therapeutic and gives clarity to thoughts . You will feel light if you work through the challenging emotions tangibly. 

Challenging Negative Thoughts

It is hard to make a logical decision when you are filled with rage and jealousy. You are likely to take unreasonable steps in response to your feelings. 

However, if you pause and jot down things in your journal, you will feel the intensity of emotions subsiding. You will then be better able to challenge your negative thoughts. 

Building a Better Perspective

You are more likely to form tunnel vision when you are jealous. Your mind focuses on the negative things. And, as experts suggest, you will likely attract what you concentrate on!

Journaling does the task when your mind struggles to keep a balanced perspective! You stop playing scenarios in your head and lay them out in the open. From there, you can consciously focus on the positives. 

It helps formulate a balanced and better perspective toward relationships and life. 

What is the Root of Jealousy?

The emotions of jealousy are certainly anything but pleasant. But they are unavoidable! Being jealous is pretty hard-wired in our system through evolution. However, several factors are more likely to surface jealousy. 

Before we talk about the root causes, let’s clear the difference between envy and jealousy! Though used synonymous, envy is simply wanting what others have (between two people). In contrast, jealousy involves a third party. Such as fear of losing someone or something valuable to another person. 

So, what exactly causes jealousy? Evolutionary psychologists have explained that jealousy actually stems from one’s internal “insecurities” instead of external triggers. These insecurities can take various forms, from poor self-esteem to past traumatic relationships. 

Some of the common factors are:

Low Self-Image

A person not confident about their self-image is more likely to feel jealous in a relationship. They might think that their partner is not attracted to them anymore. They also assume that their romantic partner will easily find someone more charming; thus, they try to control them. 

Unrealistic Expectations in a Relationship

A romantic relationship with someone is not a smooth ride. It is bound to experience some turbulence. However, setting unrealistic expectations leads to resentment between the partners. 

For instance, partners don’t have to spend 100% of their time together. But, a jealous partner would try to control every move of the spouse.

As Khalil Jibran puts it, “You need spaces in your togetherness to sustain your bond.”

Mismatched Attachment Style

A mismatched style of attachment between partners can also become a cause of jealousy.  

For example, a husband who wants constant attention might get jealous of a wife who likes her personal space and private activities. Or, an introverted wife is likely to get jealous of the friends of an extroverted husband. 

Past Emotional Trauma

If they remain unresolved, the emotional traumas from the past can keep haunting the individual. These traumas can lead to jealousy in current relationships.  

For instance, a partner who got cheated on in the past might easily get jealous in his new relationship. The subtle signs that remind you of the trauma can trigger jealousy.  

What are the Four Stages of Jealousy?

According to research, there are four stages of jealousy. You need to find out what stage you are at to help you cope. Let’s look at each stage: 

Stage 1: Identification

At stage 1, the individual realizes the feelings of jealousy. They are threatened by the involvement of a third party in a relationship. 

The threat could either be real or perceived. However, the person fears losing his relationship at this stage. 

Stage 2: Confrontative

Stage 2 marks the appearance of negative thoughts. The person has several irrational thoughts leading to feelings of anger and resentment. 

Stage 3: Redirecting

This stage indicates the redirection of feelings of jealousy towards the other party. One can start interrogating or nagging the other person.

For instance, a jealous wife might taunt her husband for staying late in the office. 

Stage 4: Medea

This is the most harmful stage, where a person starts controlling the behavior of others. This behavior results in a toxic relationship that eventually falls apart. 

For example, a jealous husband might stop his wife from going out with friends or ask about her whereabouts all the time.  

How Do You Release Feelings of Jealousy?

Dwelling on jealousy for too long can ruin your peace and relationships. Therefore, you must try to release these feelings of jealousy as soon as possible! Using journal prompts for jealousy is one of the best ways to tackle this complicated emotion.  

So, take out your pens and journals, and let’s start. If you feel stuck, just refer to the journal prompts for jealousy below!

P.S: This post will not go into the basics of journaling. If you are new, watch this Youtube video on how to start and maintain a journal!

1. Be Honest and Come Clean

The first step in dealing with any emotion is to “ACCEPT” it! No matter how bad you feel, it is always better to acknowledge it than sweep it under the rug. 

A journal is a great way to do that. It won’t judge you, it won’t taunt you, and it won’t hate you!

So, be as honest and open as you can be! Come clean about your emotions and feelings. 

2. Record Every Aspect

When you are journaling, it is important to go beneath the surface. Try to describe the situation in detail and record every aspect. 

For instance, explain it clearly if you feel jealous of your husband’s new secretary. 

  • Why are you feeling this way? 
  • Is there something your husband did? 
  • What precisely about the secretary makes you jealous? 
  • Is it her looks or personality or anything else that makes you jealous of her?  

3. Reflect on Your Self

Once you have clarity about what aspects of the situation make you jealous, reflect on it. Try to get to the root cause. Understand WHY you are feeling this way! Is there any insecurity that is making you feel jealous?  

Does this situation say anything about your hopes, goals, and self-worth? One way to do that is to keep writing thoughts and ask questions to reach the next one (much like peeling the onion layers)

For example, consider this hypothetical thought process: 

  • My husband has a new secretary, and I am jealous of her! Why?
  • Because she is pretty! So what?
  • My husband would feel attracted toward her and not me! Why is that so?
  • Because I am not pretty enough! (this is the insecurity you have to deal with)

4. Get Ready to Move On

Exploring the root cause does half the job! If you find out the real reason behind jealousy, you are ready to move on!

Journal about making actionable steps to overcome feelings of jealousy. What can you do to resolve your insecurities and, ultimately, your jealousy?

  • If you are conscious about gaining weight, you can plan to start exercising. Keeping a journal will help you achieve your goals too! 
  • If you are insecure about your height, you must accept this! Journaling can also help in achieving acceptance and confidence .  
  • Try to communicate honestly with your partner.
  • Start your mindfulness journey to help regulate your emotions. 

15 Great Journal Prompts for Jealousy

Using journal prompts for jealousy makes it easy for you to explore the emotion in-depth! We have selected 15 great journal prompts for jealousy to get you started :

  • What triggers your jealousy? Is it a specific event or interaction?
  • How does jealousy make you feel physically and emotionally? What sensations do you experience in your body?
  • What are the underlying emotions behind your jealousy? Is it fear, insecurity, or something else?
  • How does your jealousy impact your relationships with others? Does it make you behave in ways you’re not proud of?
  • What would your ideal response be to situations that trigger your jealousy? How can you work towards achieving that response?
  • How do you compare yourself to others, and why do you feel the need to do so? What can you do to shift your focus away from comparisons?
  • Are there certain people or situations that trigger your jealousy more than others? Why might that be?
  • What are some affirmations or positive self-talk that you can use to counteract feelings of jealousy?
  • How does your jealousy impact your own goals and aspirations? Does it distract you from pursuing what you truly want?
  • What are some things that you’re grateful for in your own life? How can you focus more on these positives instead of comparing yourself to others?
  • How does social media impact your feelings of jealousy? Is there anything you can do to reduce your exposure to triggers on social media?
  • What are some healthy ways to cope with jealousy when it arises? Can you practice these techniques regularly to help manage your emotions?
  • Have you spoken to someone you trust about your feelings of jealousy? Is there anyone you can turn to for support or guidance?
  • What are some ways that you can practice self-care to help manage your jealousy? How can you prioritize your own well-being?
  • What would you say to a friend who was struggling with jealousy? Can you offer yourself that same kindness and compassion?

Book Suggestions to Cope With Jealousy

Reading about emotions and learning how to cope with them is essential to regulate our feelings. Various self-help books are available to aid you in navigating your emotions.  

We have gathered some book recommendations for coping with jealousy and the negative emotions that come with it! These books are a great read and are available on Amazon! 

1- Jealousy: A Psychologist’s Guide by Catherine Chambers

2- jealousy by sofia price  , 3- the jealousy cure by robert l. leahy, 4- overcoming retroactive jealousy by zachary stockill, 5- anxiety in relationships by theresa williams, online groups to help with jealousy and insecurity.

Becoming a part of a community develops an individual’s support system. Joining a group of people going through the same will help you recognize that you are not alone!

Sharing your story and listening to others can be a source of venting out. It makes you relaxed and hopeful. Also, you get to learn new ways to deal with your emotions. 

One such online community is the Jealousy Support Group which provides people with a platform to work through jealousy.   You can read others’ stories and questions or even post your own stuff. 

Final Thoughts

Jealousy is a natural emotion like happiness, sadness, and anger. However, it is your choice to overcome it or let it control your life!

Jealousy can make relationships toxic, controlling, and unhealthy. Therefore, it is essential to nip it in the bud! 

You can use journaling and journaling prompts for jealousy to work through your negative emotions. Try to find the root cause and then move past it. Self-help books and online support groups can also bail you out of feeling jealous. 

Start your healing process today, and don’t let jealousy eat you up inside!

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Why Am I So Jealous?

Haddi Browne

Mental Health Writer, Mental Health Researcher, Proofreader

Education BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Mental Health Studies

Miss Haddi Browne is a freelance mental health writer and proof-reader with over seven years of experience working as a professional researcher with a diverse range of clients across the lifespan, including young adults with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression.

Learn about our Editorial Process

Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc

Associate Editor for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Psychology of Education

Olivia Guy-Evans is a writer and associate editor for Simply Psychology. She has previously worked in healthcare and educational sectors.

Saul Mcleod, PhD

Editor-in-Chief for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester

Saul Mcleod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

On This Page:

Jealousy is a natural emotion that can arise for various reasons. Jealousy often involves a mix of complex emotions, including  insecurity ,  anxiety , anger, and inadequacy.

While feeling jealous occasionally is normal, it can become problematic when these feelings are excessive, irrational, or controlling (i.e, unhealthy jealousy) .

Understanding these underlying emotions is crucial for managing jealously effectively.

jealousy causes

Here are some common reasons why you may feel jealous in your relationship:

Insecurities

Jealousy often stems from feelings of insecurity , where you may feel uncertain about your own worth or desirability in comparison to others. You might think that you’re not good enough or that you’re somehow lacking in comparison

Mental health and wellbeing expert Andrea M. Darcy explains that “when we feel happy and secure , we are unlikely to experience jealous feelings over mere suspicions. But when we feel vulnerable or less than? It becomes harder to trust that your relationships will thrive and that your partner will not abandon you.” 

When individuals feel insecure about themselves, their self-worth, or their relationship, they are more likely to see other people as a threat and become susceptible to jealousy. 

Here are some examples of how personal insecurities can lead to jealousy:

  • Physical Appearance: If someone is insecure about their physical appearance, they might become jealous when their partner interacts with someone they perceive as more attractive.
  • Past Experiences : Someone who has been cheated on before may be more prone to jealousy in their current relationship, fearing a similar outcome.
  • Comparisons : Insecure individuals are more likely to compare themselves to others and perceive others as threats. You may experience jealousy when you see couples who seem happier or more secure.

Negative Past Relationships

Past experiences of betrayal, infidelity, or abandonment can contribute to feelings of jealousy.

If you have been hurt or betrayed in previous relationships , you might carry these unresolved emotions into new relationships, worry about your partner’s loyalty, and fear being hurt in similar ways.

For example, previous experiences of being cheated on can make you prone to jealousy if your partner flirts with others or does not seem as committed to the relationship as you.

Low Self-Esteem

Andrea M. Darcy notes that “if you are constantly jealous in relationships, the roots of jealousy will lie in how you feel about yourself. This means that jealousy can particularly be a problem if we suffer low self-esteem.” 

Low self-esteem can lead to feelings of inadequacy and the belief that others are more desirable or successful than you.

This self-doubt and suspicion can fuel feelings of jealousy when you perceive others as a threat.

For example, if someone doesn’t feel deserving of love and affection, they may be constantly worried that their partner will find someone better.

Common characteristics of people with low self-esteem include:

  • Engaging in negative self talk
  • Second-guessing their decisions and actions
  • Doubting their abilities and feeling unsure of themselves
  • Avoiding social situations
  • Struggling to initiate and maintain relationships
  • Believing they are not deserving of love or attention
  • Being highly sensitive to criticism
  • Being jealous of their partner’s success or accomplishments
  • Seeking external validation

Inadequate Communication

Poor communication in relationships can contribute to misunderstandings and unaddressed concerns. Partners may make assumptions about each other’s intentions, leading to feelings of insecurity and jealousy.

For example, insecure individuals may misinterpret innocent communication as flirtation or romantic interest. They might become jealous when their partner has a friendly conversation with a colleague or a friend.

Inadequate communication is particular prevalent in long-distance relationships as the lack of physical proximity and increased uncertainty about the relationship can cause individuals to be more hyper vigilant of their partners’ actions and intentions. 

The limited ability to verify information firsthand can result in filling in gaps with assumptions and imagination. When you are not physically together, it is easy to start overthinking and imagining what your partner might be doing. 

Can you trust someone and still be jealous?

It is possible to trust someone and still experience jealousy. Trust and jealousy are not mutually exclusive emotions, and they can coexist in a relationship.

Trust involves believing in your partner’s honesty, integrity, and commitment to the relationship. Jealousy often arises from a fear of losing someone or something important. It often arises from internal emotions and may not necessarily reflect your partner’s behavior.

Trusting someone does not guarantee that jealousy will never occur, as people can still experience moments of insecurity or vulnerability. These feelings may be triggered by various factors, such as past experiences, personal insecurities, or external circumstances.

However, it is important to differentiate between healthy levels of jealousy and jealousy that becomes controlling or possessive.

Whereas healthy levels of jealousy can coexist with trust, excessive or irrational jealousy can be detrimental to a relationship.

Can social media affect jealousy?

Social media can significantly affect feelings of jealousy within romantic relationships.

Social media often presents idealized versions of people’s lives, including their relationships. Seeing other couples posting happy and loving pictures can lead to comparisons and feelings of inadequacy in your own relationship.

Additionally, interactions between your partner and others on social media, such as liking, commenting, or messaging, can trigger jealousy. Innocent online interactions may be misinterpreted as flirtation or romantic interest.

Furthermore, seeing your partner’s interactions with their exes on social media can be a common source of jealousy. It might raise questions about the nature of those relationships and whether there are lingering feelings.

Remember that while social media can exacerbate jealousy, it’s ultimately how you and your partner handle these challenges together that will determine the impact on your relationship. Healthy communication and trust-building are crucial in managing jealousy related to social media.

Julia Simkus edited this article.

How Jealousy Can Negatively Affect a Relationship. (2023). Retrieved 19 July 2023, from  https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-poisonous-effect-of-jealousy-on-your-relationship

How to Deal With Jealousy in a Relationship. (2023). Retrieved 19 July 2023, from  https://www.verywellmind.com/overcome-jealousy-in-your-marriage-2303979  

Signs of Jealousy (Envious). (2023). Retrieved 19 July 2023, from  https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-jealousy-envious  

15 Signs of Jealousy in a Relationship and How to Handle It. (2021). Retrieved 20 July 2023, from  https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/signs-of-jealousy-in-a-relationship/  

Seeing Green? This Is Jealousy. (2023). Retrieved 20 July 2023, from  https://psychcentral.com/health/signs-of-jealousy  

What’s Really Behind Jealousy, and What to Do About It. (2023). Retrieved 20 July 2023, from  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201410/whats-really-behind-jealousy-and-what-do-about-it  

Publisher, A. removed at request of original. (2016, September 29). 7.6 The Dark Side of Relationships. Open.lib.umn.edu; University of Minnesota Libraries Publishing edition, 2016. This edition adapted from a work originally produced in 2013 by a publisher who has requested that it not receive attribution.  https://open.lib.umn.edu/communication/chapter/7-6-the-dark-side-of-relationships/  

Help, G., Professionals, F., Listed, S., Help, G., Professionals, F., & Therapist, F. et al. (2023). GoodTherapy | Why Stalkers Stalk—and What to Do If You’re a Victim. Retrieved 26 July 2023, from  https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/stalking-behavior-victims-seeking-help-040513  

False Accusations in a Relationship: Is It Emotional Abuse?. (2023). Retrieved 20 July 2023, from  https://psychcentral.com/relationships/psychological-effects-of-false-accusations-in-relationships  

7 Signs That a Partner’s Jealousy Is a Problem. (2023). Retrieved 20 July 2023, from  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/202203/7-signs-partners-jealousy-is-problem  

Evans, P. (2002). Controlling people: How to recognize, understand, and deal with people who control you. Avon, MA: Adams Media.

Darcy, A. (2023). Jealousy in Relationships – Is it all in Your Head?. Retrieved 28 July 2023, from  https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/jealousy-head.htm

How Jealousy Can Negatively Affect a Relationship. (2023). Retrieved 20 July 2023, from  https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-poisonous-effect-of-jealousy-on-your-relationship

Coping With Insecurity in Relationships. (2023). Retrieved 20 July 2023, from  https://www.verywellmind.com/coping-with-insecurity-in-a-relationship-5207949  

Getting Past the Past Jealousy. (2023). Retrieved 20 July 2023, from  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-files/201804/getting-past-the-past-jealousy  

10 Ways On How Low Self Esteem Affects a Relationship. (2019). Retrieved 20 July 2023, from  https://www.marriage.com/advice/mental-health/low-self-esteem-in-relationship/  

Getting Past the Past Jealousy. (2023). Retrieved 31 July 2023, from  https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/anxiety-files/201804/getting-past-the-past-jealousy

An infographic outlining some of the possible reasons why someone may experience extreme jealousy in their relationship.

Lauraconteuse | Personal growth, self-love & self-care

90 Journal Prompts for Jealousy to Help You Cope and Heal

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Table of Contents

A list of 90 good writing prompts for jealousy

We’re going to explore some journal prompts for jealousy that will help us understand jealousy better and, most importantly, help us grow as individuals.

You see, just like you, I believe that personal growth is super important. It’s all about getting to know ourselves better, becoming stronger and more confident, and finding true happiness.

And sometimes, those feelings of jealousy can actually teach us a lot about ourselves.

So, grab a pen and a journal, and get ready to discover some amazing things about yourself.

We’re going to take a journey together, and along the way, we’ll uncover why we feel jealous and how we can use those feelings to become even better versions of ourselves.

Without further ado, let’s move on to 90 good journal prompts for jealousy .

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30 retroactive jealousy journal prompts

  • Write about a memory from your own past that might make you feel jealous.
  • What are some healthy ways you can cope with and manage your feelings of jealousy?
  • What are some things that make you feel insecure or worried, which can lead to jealousy?
  • Describe a time when you were able to let go of jealousy. What did you do to feel better?
  • Imagine writing a letter to your partner’s ex, expressing how you feel, and seeking closure.
  • Are there any specific situations or things that make your jealousy worse? Write about them.
  • Think about a time when you felt jealous about your partner’s past. How did it make you feel?
  • Think about how trust plays a role in overcoming jealousy and building a strong relationship.
  • Make a list of your own qualities and strengths that have nothing to do with your partner’s past.
  • Think about times when your partner reassured you and made you feel less jealous. How did it help?
  • How has jealousy affected your current relationship? Write about any problems or arguments it caused.
  • Imagine a future where jealousy doesn’t bother you. How would that feel? What can you do to make it happen?
  • Write about the thoughts and pictures that come to mind when you think of your partner’s previous relationships.
  • Write a letter to your partner, expressing your thanks for their love and support despite your struggles with jealousy.
  • Imagine having an open and honest talk with your partner about your jealousy. What would you say? How would you want them to respond?

how to start an essay about jealousy

  • Explore the idea of forgiveness and how it can help you let go of jealousy.
  • Make a list of positive phrases or thoughts you can use to replace negative ones when jealousy arises.
  • Think about the influence of society and comparisons on your jealousy. How can you deal with them?
  • Write about activities or hobbies that make you happy and distract you from feeling jealous.
  • Describe a future where you’ve successfully overcome jealousy. How does it affect your relationship?
  • Reflect on the importance of taking care of yourself and being kind to yourself when dealing with jealousy.
  • Write a letter to your younger self, understanding and supporting your struggles with jealousy.
  • Explore any communication patterns with your partner that may contribute to jealousy.
  • Make a list of qualities and values you appreciate about yoursel f, separate from comparing yourself to your partner’s past.
  • Reflect on how you can rebuild trust and how it impacts overcoming jealousy in your relationship.
  • Imagine seeking advice from a trusted friend or mentor regarding your jealousy. What would they say?
  • Write about times when you’ve grown and improved as a result of facing your jealousy.
  • Reflect on how your past experiences shape how you see relationships and jealousy.
  • Write a forgiveness letter to yourself, acknowledging mistakes related to jealousy and committing to personal growth.
  • Explore different perspectives on love and relationships that can help change your thoughts about jealousy.

guided journals trio

30 shadow work prompts for jealousy in relationships

  • Think about a time when jealousy led you to do or say something negative. What can you learn from that experience?
  • Write about the deeper feelings behind your jealousy. Are you afraid of being left out or not being good enough?
  • Write a letter to your partner, expressing your vulnerability and sharing how your jealousy affects your relationship.
  • Reflect on moments from your childhood or previous relationships that may have influenced your jealousy.
  • Explore any beliefs you have about yourself or relationships that make you feel jealous.
  • Write about a specific situation that recently made you jealous. How could you respond differently in the future?
  • Reflect on how jealousy might stem from feeling like there’s not enough love or attention to go around.
  • Make a list of positive qualities and strengths you bring to your relationship, focusing on building self-esteem.
  • Explore past experiences of betrayal or heartbreak that may impact your ability to trust and fuel jealousy.
  • Reflect on how self-worth and self-love can help overcome jealousy and create healthier relationships.
  • Write a letter to yourself, acknowledging your progress in managing jealousy and committing to growth.
  • Explore the importance of setting boundaries in relationships and how they can help alleviate jealousy.
  • Reflect on the impact of social media on your jealousy and explore strategies for managing its influence.
  • Write about moments when you’ve felt secure and confident in your relationship. What made you feel that way?
  • Explore the role of open communication with your partner regarding jealousy and brainstorm ways to initiate these conversations.

journal layout

  • Write a letter to your jealousy, expressing gratitude for the lessons it has taught you and your intention to let it go.
  • Reflect on any childhood experiences or messages about love and relationships that contribute to your jealousy.
  • Explore different ways to see situations that trigger jealousy, seeking more balanced and rational perspectives.
  • Write about activities or practices that help you take care of yourself and feel better during moments of jealousy.
  • Reflect on the role of empathy and compassion in overcoming jealousy, both toward yourself and your partner.
  • Write a forgiveness letter to someone who triggered your jealousy, letting go of resentment and committing to personal growth.
  • Explore self-soothing techniques like deep breathing or visualization to help manage jealousy in the moment.
  • Reflect on the impact of comparison and seeking validation on your jealousy and explore strategies to reduce their influence.
  • Write a gratitude list , focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship and shifting away from jealousy.
  • Explore the concept of self-validation and the importance of finding worth and validation from within.
  • Reflect on the role of trust-building activities and transparency in alleviating jealousy in your relationship.
  • Write a letter to your future self, envisioning a version of you who has overcome jealousy and thrives in healthy relationships.
  • Explore the impact of self-compassion and self-forgiveness on overcoming jealousy.
  • Reflect on times when you chose love and understanding over jealousy and celebrate your growth.
  • Write a mantra or affirmation that captures your intention to release jealousy and embrace love, trust, and joy in relationships.

how to start an essay about jealousy

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30 jealousy journal prompts for adults

  • Reflect on a recent experience that triggered jealousy. What thoughts and emotions came up?
  • Explore the specific fears or insecurities underlying your jealousy in relationships.
  • Write about a time when jealousy led to a negative outcome in your personal or professional life. What did you learn from it?
  • Reflect on how jealousy affects your overall well-being and happiness. How does it impact your emotions?
  • Describe a time when you successfully managed and overcame jealousy . What strategies or tools did you use?
  • Explore patterns or triggers that intensify your jealousy. Are there recurring themes or situations?
  • Write a letter to yourself, offering compassion and understanding for your struggles with jealousy and committing to growth.
  • Reflect on how past experiences or beliefs contribute to your jealousy. How can you challenge and change those beliefs ?
  • Describe a situation where jealousy negatively affected your relationships or interactions with others. How could you have responded differently?
  • Reflect on the impact of jealousy on your self-esteem and self-worth. How can you build a stronger sense of self-acceptance ?
  • Write about activities or hobbies that bring you joy and help distract you from feelings of jealousy. How can you incorporate more of these activities into your life?
  • Reflect on the influence of comparison and social media on your feelings of jealousy. How can you limit their impact and focus on your own journey?
  • Describe a supportive person in your life who helps you navigate feelings of jealousy. How do they provide guidance and understanding?
  • Write a list of positive affirmations that counteract the negative thoughts and self-doubt triggered by jealousy.
  • Reflect on the role of gratitude in shifting your mindset away from jealousy. Write about moments of gratitude in your life.

journal layout

  • Explore the impact of jealousy on your relationships and connections. How can you foster trust and open communication to alleviate jealousy?
  • Write a letter to a fictional character or role model who embodies qualities you admire and can learn from in relation to jealousy.
  • Explore different self-care practices that support your emotional well-being and help you manage jealousy effectively.
  • Reflect on the role of forgiveness, both towards yourself and others, in releasing the grip of jealousy and fostering personal growth.
  • Describe a future scenario where jealousy no longer has power over you. How does that impact your relationships and overall happiness?
  • Write a letter to your younger self, offering guidance and reassurance regarding your struggles with jealousy as an adult.
  • Reflect on moments when you have chosen love, trust, and understanding over jealousy. How have those choices enriched your relationships?
  • Explore the concept of self-awareness and its role in identifying and addressing the root causes of jealousy in your life.
  • Write about a relationship where jealousy is absent or minimal. What factors contribute to the absence of jealousy in that dynamic?
  • Reflect on the progress you have made in managing and overcoming jealousy as an adult. Celebrate your growth and resilience.
  • Write a letter of gratitude to someone who has inspired you to overcome jealousy and embrace healthier relationships.
  • Explore different perspectives on love, relationships, and personal growth that can help shift your mindset away from jealousy.
  • Reflect on the ways in which you have grown and learned from your experiences with jealousy. What lessons have you learned ?
  • Write a letter to yourself, acknowledging your journey and commitment to growth. Encourage yourself to keep moving forward and embracing healthier ways of relating.
  • Write a closing letter to jealousy, declaring your intention to release its hold on your life and embrace love, joy, and abundance.

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FAQ: What’s the psychology behind jealousy?

You know, jealousy is something we’ve all experienced at some point in our lives.

It’s that little green monster that pops up when we feel threatened or worried about losing something or someone we value.

So, here’s the thing: jealousy is actually rooted in our natural human instincts . Back in the day, when our ancient ancestors roamed the Earth, jealousy played a role in their survival.

They had to compete for limited resources, including mates, food, and shelter. Feeling envious helped them protect what was important to them and ensure their own survival.

But in today’s world, our needs and desires have evolved, and so has jealousy. It’s not just about physical resources anymore; it can also be triggered by emotional and social factors.

We might feel jealous when a friend gets a better grade, when someone we care about spends more time with someone else, or even when we see someone on social media living what seems like a perfect life.

The psychology behind jealousy is complex . It often stems from our own insecurities and fears of not being enough or losing something valuable.

When we feel jealous, it’s like a signal that something important to us is at risk. It can make us question our self-worth and create a sense of inadequacy.

But here’s the cool part: By understanding the psychology behind jealousy, we can use it as a tool for personal growth .

When jealousy creeps in, instead of letting it consume us, we can take a step back and ask ourselves some thought-provoking journal prompts for jealousy.

What is it about this situation that makes me feel jealous? What insecurities might be triggering this emotion? Is there something I can learn about myself from this experience?

By digging deep and exploring these questions about jealousy, we gain valuable insights into our own desires, fears, and areas for personal improvement.

Jealousy becomes an opportunity for self-reflection and growth .

We can work on building our self-esteem, practicing gratitude for what we have, and focusing on our own unique journey rather than comparing ourselves to others.

journal vibes

FAQ: What are the causes of jealousy?

One major cause of jealousy is our own insecurities . Yep, those sneaky little thoughts that whisper, “Am I good enough?” or “What if someone else is better than me?”

When we doubt ourselves or feel unsure about our worth, it becomes easier for jealousy to creep in. It’s like our inner critic teams up with jealousy to make us doubt our own awesomeness.

Another cause of jealousy is comparison . We, humans, have a knack for looking at what others have and wishing we had it.

It’s natural to notice when someone else gets something we desire, whether it’s a promotion, a new gadget, or even a romantic partner.

That little voice inside starts whispering, “Why don’t I have that too?” and jealousy stirs up within us.

Insecurity and comparison can intertwine. When we don’t feel secure in ourselves or our relationships, jealousy can rear its head even stronger.

We might worry that someone will take away what we cherish or that we’re not enough to keep someone’s attention.

These fears can intensify jealousy and make it harder to feel secure and content.

Social media also plays a role in fueling jealousy, believe it or not. When we see those picture-perfect posts of people seemingly living their best lives, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap.

We start thinking, “Why isn’t my life that amazing?” or “Everyone seems happier than me.” It’s important to remember that social media often showcases the highlights, not the full story.

journal vibes

FAQ: What are the signs of jealousy?

One sign of jealousy is that icky feeling in your gut. You might notice a knot or a tightness, like butterflies gone wild.

It’s as if your intuition is tapping you on the shoulder, saying, “Hey, something’s not quite right here.”

Pay attention to that feeling, because it could be a sign that jealousy is trying to make its presence known.

Another sign is when you start comparing yourself to others .

Have you ever found yourself scrolling through social media and feeling a little twinge of envy when you see someone’s accomplishments or exciting adventures?

That’s jealousy whispering in your ear, making you question your own worth and desire what others have.

Jealousy can also show up in our behavior . We might find ourselves becoming a bit more possessive or territorial.

Maybe you notice that you’re keeping tabs on your friend’s interactions or feel a pang of discomfort when they spend time with others.

These behaviors can be signs that jealousy is trying to take control .

Sometimes, jealousy can even make us a bit defensive. When we feel jealous, we might find ourselves getting defensive when someone points out our own shortcomings or achievements.

It’s like a protective shield going up, trying to preserve our self-esteem and hide our insecurities.

journal aesthetic

FAQ: How can I get over my jealousy?

First, it’s important to acknowledge and accept your feelings of jealousy . It’s completely normal to feel this way sometimes, and there’s no need to beat yourself up about it.

Embrace your negative emotions with kindness and compassion, knowing that they are a part of being human.

Next, let’s shift our focus inward. Jealousy often arises from our own insecurities and fears. So, let’s shine a light on those insecurities and work on building our self-confidence .

Take some time to recognize your unique strengths, talents, and accomplishments. Celebrate your own journey and all the amazing things you bring to the table.

Now, here’s a powerful tool for overcoming jealousy: gratitude.

When we cultivate a grateful mindset, it shifts our attention away from what others have and towards what we have in our own lives.

Take a moment each day to appreciate the blessings , big and small, that surround you.

Gratitude helps us see the abundance in our lives and diminishes the need to compare ourselves to others.

Communication is key. If your jealousy stems from a specific relationship or situation, consider having an open and honest conversation with the person involved.

Share your feelings in a calm and respectful manner, expressing your needs and concerns. Healthy communication can help build trust and understanding, easing the grip of jealousy.

Remember to focus on your own journey. Comparison is the thief of joy, as they say. Instead of comparing yourself to others, channel that energy into personal growth.

Set goals, pursue your passions, and work on becoming the best version of yourself . By shifting your focus inward, you’ll find that there’s less room for jealousy to take hold.

Lastly, surround yourself with positivity and support . Spend time with people who uplift and inspire you.

Seek out communities and friendships that encourage personal growth and celebrate each other’s successes.

When you’re surrounded by a positive and nurturing environment, it becomes easier to let go of jealousy and embrace a more joyful and contented mindset.

journal aesthetic

FAQ: What is journaling, and what are the best journaling tips?

Journaling is like having a personal conversation with yourself on paper. It’s a way to express your thoughts, feelings, dreams, and experiences in a safe and private space.

First tip: Make it your own ! There’s no right or wrong way to journal. It’s all about finding a style and format that work for you.

Whether you prefer a traditional notebook , a digital journaling app, or even a combination of both, choose a method that feels comfortable and inviting.

Make your journaling space a reflection of your unique personality.

Tip number two: Set the mood. Creating a cozy and peaceful atmosphere can enhance your journaling experience. Find a quiet space where you can relax and focus.

Light a vanilla cupcake-scented candle , play some soft music, or sip on a warm cup of tea. By setting the mood, you invite a sense of calmness and creativity into your journaling practice.

Next, let’s talk about consistency. Try to establish a regular journaling routine . It could be daily, weekly, or whatever frequency works best for you.

Consistency allows you to develop a deeper connection with yourself and make journaling a natural part of your life. So, find a rhythm that fits your schedule and stick to it.

Now, here’s an exciting tip: get creative ! Journaling doesn’t have to be limited to words alone.

Feel free to explore different creative outlets like doodling, sketching, or even adding sticke rs and photographs to your journal.

Let your imagination run wild and express yourself in ways that go beyond traditional writing. This brings a sense of fun and playfulness to your journaling practice.

Tip number four: Write freely and without judgment . Remember, your journal is a safe space for you to be completely honest and authentic.

Write without worrying about grammar, spelling, or making everything sound perfect.

Embrace the messiness, the rawness, and the beauty of your thoughts and feelings. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable and let your true self shine through.

Lastly, let’s talk about writing prompts for jealousy. Sometimes, it can be helpful to have a little guidance to get your thoughts flowing.

Jealousy journal prompts are like little invitations to explore different topics or reflect on specific questions.

They can be a great way to jumpstart your journaling and dive deeper into self-reflection.

a bunch of journals

FAQ: How can journaling help me overcome jealousy?

When you put your thoughts and feelings down on paper, it’s like giving them a voice. Journaling for jealousy provides a safe and private space for you to express your emotions without judgment.

So, when those feelings of jealousy bubble up inside you, grab your journal and let it all out.

Write about what triggers your jealousy, how it makes you feel, and any thoughts or fears that come up.

By acknowledging and releasing these emotions, you create space for healing and growth .

Journaling also helps us gain a deeper understanding of ourselves . Through reflection, we can uncover the underlying causes of our jealousy.

Take some time to explore your insecurities, fears, and past experiences that may contribute to these feelings.

By shining a light on these underlying factors, you can start to address them and work towards healing and self-acceptance.

Journaling can also be a space for reflection and growth . Consider asking yourself thought-provoking questions about your jealousy.

What can you learn from these experiences? Are there any patterns or triggers you notice? How can you respond differently in the future?

By engaging in this self-reflection, you empower yourself to take control of your emotions and responses. Journaling becomes a tool for personal growth and transformation.

Journaling also allows you to track your progress over time . As you continue on your journey to overcome jealousy, flip back through your journal entries and notice the changes.

Celebrate the moments of growth and self-discovery you’ve experienced.

Recognize the patterns you’ve identified and the strategies you’ve developed. By witnessing your own progress, you gain confidence in your ability to overcome jealousy.

journal practice

FAQ: How do I use these journal prompts for jealousy?

Let’s talk about how you can use journal prompts to explore and overcome your feelings of jealousy.

Journal prompts are like little guideposts that help you delve deeper into your emotions and gain insights about yourself.

They provide a starting point for reflection and self-discovery .

So, grab your journal, and let’s dive into using these journaling prompts for jealousy to navigate your journey toward letting go of jealousy.

When you come across a journal prompt about jealousy, take a moment to read it and let it sink in.

Notice how it resonates with you and what thoughts or emotions it brings up. Then, grab your pen and start writing. There’s no right or wrong answer—just your honest thoughts and feelings.

Let’s say the prompt is something like, “What triggers my jealousy the most?” Take a moment to reflect on this question.

Think about the situations, people, or circumstances that tend to ignite those feelings of jealousy within you.

It could be a specific type of achievement, a certain relationship dynamic, or even comparisons on social media.

Write about these triggers and explore how they make you feel. Be open and honest with yourself .

Have you used journal prompts for jealousy before?

blog author Laura

I’m a personal growth and self-care expert, as well as an avid motorcycle enthusiast and coffee and sweets lover. Through Lauraconteuse, I provide insightful and practical advice on topics such as self-care, self-love, personal growth, and productivity, drawing from my very own extensive experience and knowledge in the field. My blog has helped countless people achieve their goals and live more fulfilling lives, and my goal is to continue to inspire and empower others.

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Why Envy Will Keep Us From Writing - Writer's Life.org

There are many reasons why jealousy in creative writing rears its ugly head. Writing envy can be a real problem that stops you from getting on with the task in hand. When it's really bad, it can stop you from writing altogether.

There are many reasons writers don’t write. We procrastinate, worry, or seem to run out of things to say. However one reason that perhaps is less common than these is jealousy. Many writers suffer from writers envy, and when the green-eyed monster strikes we perhaps, at the time, don’t realise just how negative its effect can be. Envy is an unpleasant trait under any circumstances, but if we let writers envy consume us it can actually stop us writing altogether. So why will envy keep us from writing, and what can we do to change it?

Jealousy in creative writing -understanding why

The first step towards taking control of your jealous feelings and using them to your advantage is to understand why you feel that way in the first place. It is difficult to admit that you are feeling jealous - it is an ugly emotion. But if you can then you can start to understand what catalysed it in the first place. Jealousy usually springs from our own anxiety, and a sense of uncomfortableness in our own skin. We are jealous of others because we believe they have done better than us, so it is our own shortcomings that are the problem, rather than their success. Concentrating on our own goals, working on them and striving for our own success is far more productive then angrily moaning about someone who has already got there.

Accept it, and use it

If you catch yourself feeling jealous then explore it a little further. You are jealous of the success of one of your peers? OK that’s fine. Instead of beating yourself up about it and allowing it to slow you down, use it as motivation to do better, and learn from it. What did that person do to achieve their success, was it hard work or luck? If it was the latter you might just have to accept that some people do just get lucky. It is not ‘unfair’ it is just life - how about the hard work route? Believe it or not that works for people too! If you want it enough and have a positive attitude there is no reason why you shouldn't achieve all of your goals.

Be gracious

If you notice jealousy in creative writing and find yourself envious of someone else's achievements, congratulate them. You may secretly be thinking, ‘why them and not me?’ but going up and talking to that person might just answer that question. It is easy to create a false persona to fit around those we are jealous of, we tend not to like them for no other reason than they have achieved something that we also want to achieve. Making them into an actual human being by talking to them makes it harder to do this, and you may end up feeling genuinely happy for them after all. 

Have no fear

People can end up rather afraid of their jealousy, which can mean they avoid situations where chances of feeling that way are high. You might find yourself suddenly too busy to go to that writers group you used to enjoy so much. You might even get yourself so worked up because of jealous emotions that you feel you may as well give up writing forever. Whatever you do, don’t let jealousy win.

The thing to remember is that jealousy happens to us all. You are not a bad person if you feel envious of someone else’s achievements,   it means you have ambition. Just remember it is how you handle your jealousy that counts, so learn to live with it and use it, and if you can’t do that, then simply let it go.

So now you know about jealousy in creative writing and what to do about it, why not learn mroe about how to stop runing your writing by comparing it to others?

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Analytical Essay: Jealousy

To William Shakespeare, the bard of Avon, it was a ‘green-eyed monster’. To B.C. Forbes, it is a ‘mental cancer’. In either case, jealousy (or its counterpart, envy) is depicted as a horrible, destructive entity. But is jealousy always harmful? Or can there be benefits to the emotion? I would assert that, depending on the character of the individual, jealousy can have the power to either improve or destroy.

Jealousy is a complicated emotion. It is similar to envy in many ways, and often is connected with it. Jealousy is experienced when a person sees a threat to what they have, or even what they want to have. Think of Shakespeare’s famous play, “Othello”. The title character goes wild with jealousy when he thinks another man has won his wife’s attention. He wants her love all to himself and ends up killing her in a jealous rage, seeing betrayal when there was none. Of course, this is an extreme case of jealousy. Not all situations end in death. But being jealous of a parent’s attention can cause sibling rivalry. Being jealous of a co-worker’s promotion can lead to petty backstabbing. Jealousy, rooted in both fear and anger, can have dangerous consequences if not held in check.

Jealousy can also be a useful emotion if utilized properly. Being jealous of another person’s wealth can give a person renewed drive to succeed in their own business ventures. Overcoming or even just acknowledging jealousy can give someone personal insight and growth. Healthy competition is not wrong, nor is jealousy if it gives a signal for a person to change something in their life. But on the flip side, however, jealousy can cause control issues, relationship violence, feelings of inadequacy, stress, and self-doubt. It is reported that 1/3 of all married couples in counselling suffer from some level of jealousy. Left unresolved, these feelings can lead to divorce. Through jealousy, people can lose confidence, trust, and self-esteem, which shows why it is necessary to analyze and overcome these strong emotions.

The best way to handle jealousy is to acknowledge it for what it is. Everyone feels jealousy at some point in their life, but it is how it is handled that gives insight into a person’s character. Asking the question, “Why am I jealous?” can lead to personal growth. If jealousy is being based on false beliefs – (think back to Shakespeare’s Othello) – then those thoughts need to be changed. If jealousy is harming a relationship, they best thing to do is simply apologize and then talk those feelings out. Explaining what you feel isn’t shameful, but rather a sign of strength.

Jealousy, like wrath or pride, is a passionate emotion that everyone will have to face at one point in their life. Whether they acknowledge the emotion for what it is – fear and anger – will determine whether they learn and grow from the emotion, or suffer because of it.

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Definition:, physical signals and behaviors:, internal sensations:, mental responses:, cues of acute or long term jealousy:, may escalate to:, cues of suppressed jealousy:, may de-escalate to:, associated power verbs:.

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Creating A Strong Narrative Five-Paragraph Essay About Jealousy

This short but detailed article shows you how to craft a structured essay, five paragraphs in length, on jealousy.

Definitions

Note what is required of you before you begin writing. Know what type of writing is required for the topic.

A narrative essay on any topic and any length require a fair amount of descriptive detail. It also notes theoretical or historical backgrounds.

Here we will not be giving a meaning but guide you where to find your definitions. Begin with a dictionary explanation.

Research assignments

Good a plus paper are indicative of extensive research and original thinking and initiative. Never wait to be told what to do.

  • Looking for objective explanations

Follow up your dictionary definition with a Biblical explanation. Begin with the Old Testament’s account of the Ten Commandments.

Extensive and effective research begins at the library where subjects related to jealousy are explored. Begin with Psychology and Philosophy.

Popular topics on jealousy are featured on the search engine’s front page. This does not mean that they will be authoritative analyses.

  • Case studies

You can examine real-life consequences of jealousy where crimes have been committed, or tragic misunderstandings have occurred within family units. Also conduct interviews.

Basic essay outline

Structure your essay coherently in line with instructions and this article’s topic. Apply formal and academic conventions during the construction.

  • Introduction

State how you propose to address your narrative expansion. You already have paragraph length in place. Outline two more persuasive propositions on jealousy.

  • Paragraph two

Here you can give a detailed description by applying your mind to substantiation from your research material. Try to include at least three research examples.

  • Paragraph three

This paragraph follows logically from the previous paragraph. Here you can address the consequences of this complex emotion and list examples found.

  • Paragraph four

This is a concluding paragraph in which you propose strong suggestions on how to address the subject. Again, you need to rely on your research material for substantiating your work.

This will be your shortest paragraph which summarizes what you have already outlined above.

Essay writing and proofing

Do this well first time around and you are well on your way to an A Plus paper. Good writing is done in stages and thoroughly checked at the end.

  • Drafting before typing

A series of structured note-taking is required before you write your final essay. Each draft can address a different approach or explanation.

Always check for spelling, grammar, sentence and paragraph length and construction.

By following these basic steps you are able to compose a strong narrative statement without going beyond the required paragraph length.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Family — Jealousy

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Jealousy Essay Titles

Writing an essay on jealousy is important because it allows individuals to explore and understand the complex and often destructive emotion of jealousy. By delving into the causes and effects of jealousy, individuals can gain insight into their own behavior and emotions, as well as develop empathy and understanding for others who may struggle with jealousy. Additionally, writing an essay on jealousy can help individuals process their own experiences with jealousy and develop healthier ways of coping with and managing this difficult emotion.

When writing an essay on jealousy, it is important to consider the following tips:

  • Begin by defining jealousy and exploring its various manifestations and effects.
  • Provide examples and anecdotes to illustrate the ways in which jealousy can impact individuals and relationships.
  • Consider the cultural and societal factors that contribute to the prevalence of jealousy.
  • Examine the psychological and emotional roots of jealousy, such as insecurity, fear of loss, and low self-esteem.
  • Discuss strategies for managing and overcoming jealousy, such as communication, self-reflection, and building self-confidence.
  • Conclude by emphasizing the importance of empathy, understanding, and self-awareness in navigating the complexities of jealousy.

What Makes a Good Jealousy Essay Topics

When it comes to writing an essay on jealousy, choosing the right topic is crucial. A good jealousy essay topic should be thought-provoking, engaging, and relevant. To brainstorm and choose the best essay topic, consider exploring different aspects of jealousy, such as its impact on relationships, the psychology behind jealousy, or the portrayal of jealousy in literature and media. Additionally, it's essential to consider the audience and the purpose of the essay. A good jealousy essay topic should be unique, specific, and have enough depth to explore in the essay.

Best Jealousy Essay Topics

  • The destructive power of jealousy in relationships
  • Jealousy and its portrayal in Shakespeare's Othello
  • The psychological effects of jealousy on individuals
  • Jealousy and envy in the age of social media
  • Overcoming jealousy and building trust in relationships
  • The cultural and societal implications of jealousy
  • Jealousy and the green-eyed monster in literature
  • The role of jealousy in shaping human behavior
  • Jealousy and its impact on mental health
  • Coping mechanisms for dealing with jealousy
  • The evolutionary psychology of jealousy
  • Jealousy and its influence on creativity and success
  • Jealousy in the workplace: navigating professional envy
  • The connection between jealousy and insecurity
  • Jealousy and the dynamics of power in relationships
  • Jealousy and the quest for self-improvement
  • The intersection of jealousy and self-esteem
  • The gender dynamics of jealousy
  • Jealousy and the pursuit of happiness
  • The role of jealousy in shaping human history and society

Jealousy Essay Topics Prompts

  • Imagine a world without jealousy. How would it look like, and what impact would it have on relationships and society?
  • Write a personal essay about a time when jealousy affected your life or relationships.
  • Create a short story that explores the theme of jealousy in a unique and thought-provoking way.
  • Reflect on the portrayal of jealousy in a particular work of literature, film, or art, and analyze its significance.
  • If you could conduct a research study on jealousy, what aspect would you focus on and why?

Othello Jealousy Character Analysis

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The Role of Jealousy in Their Eyes Were Watching God, a Novel by Zora Neale Hurston

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Essays on Jealousy

Jealousy: A Common and Complex Emotion Jealousy is a common emotion that can affect almost everyone at some point. It's often uncomfortable, but it can also be an important part of relationships.Jealous people have feelings of apprehension, suspicion, and rage when they believe that another person is about to hurt or...

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100+ Jealous Character Traits

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Table of Contents

Possible causes of being jealous, attitudes related to being jealous, thoughts and struggles associated with being jealous, emotions related to jealousy, facial expressions associated with being jealous, body language related to being jealous, behaviors associated with being jealous, growth and evolution of jealous characters, stereotypes of jealous characters to avoid, negatives of being jealous, positives of being jealous, verbal expressions of jealous characters, relationships of jealous characters, examples from books of characters who are jealous, writing exercises for writing jealous characters.

To engage your reader, it's important to always show, not tell, the traits of your characters.

Jealousy is a complex emotion that is often triggered by a perceived threat to one's relationship, possessions, or status. People who are jealous may experience feelings of envy, suspicion, and insecurity, and they may engage in behaviors such as possessiveness, aggression, or manipulation. Jealousy can be a negative trait when it leads to harmful actions or thoughts, but it can also be a natural and healthy response in certain situations, such as when it motivates people to protect their loved ones or strive for personal growth.

As a writer, portraying jealousy in a nuanced and realistic way can add depth and complexity to your characters and make them more relatable to your readers.

You might want to weave these into your jealous character's backstory to build a more believable character:

Mental health issues such as anxiety or personality disorders

Lack of trust in others

Childhood experiences of neglect or lack of attention

Unresolved emotional issues or traumas

Cultural or societal influences that value possessiveness or competition

Fear of abandonment or rejection

Past experiences of betrayal or infidelity

Low self-esteem or self-worth

Insecurity about themselves or their relationships

You may be able to show jealousy through your character's attitudes:

Insecurity about one's worth or position

Fear of losing something or someone valuable

Self-doubt and self-criticism regarding one's ability to compete or succeed

Envy toward others' possessions, achievements, or relationships

Resentment toward those who seem to have advantages or privileges

Suspicion and paranoia of others' actions or intentions

Obsessive thoughts or behaviors related to the object of jealousy

Anger or hostility toward those who threaten the object of jealousy

Here are some ideas for things your jealous character may think or struggle with:

Difficulty trusting others, especially those who have relationships with the person or thing they are jealous of

Difficulty feeling happy for others' successes

Constantly comparing themselves to others and feeling inferior

Guilt and shame for their jealous thoughts and actions

The need for validation and reassurance from others to feel secure

Obsessive thoughts and behaviors regarding the person or thing they are jealous of

Fear of losing what they have to someone else

Feeling threatened by anyone who seems to pose a threat to their desired object or person

Insecurity and low self-esteem

Here are some ideas for emotions your jealous character may experience:

Possessiveness

Obsessiveness

Fear of loss

Inferiority complex

Here are some facial expressions your jealous character may exhibit:

Clenched teeth

Flared nostrils

Tightened jaw

Furrowed eyebrows

Sneering or curling upper lip

Tense or rigid facial muscles

Heavy sighs or grunts

Narrowed eyes

Intense or piercing gaze

Here is some body language your jealous character may exhibit:

Frowning or scowling

Glaring or staring

Clenched jaw

Tightened fists

Tense facial expression

Stiff posture

Crossed arms

Pacing or restlessness

Here are some behaviors your jealous character may exhibit.

Competing with others to prove their worth or superiority

Sabotaging the success or happiness of others due to envy

Becoming irrationally angry or upset when a partner talks to or spends time with someone of the opposite sex

Comparing themselves to others and feeling inadequate or inferior

Feeling possessive or controlling in relationships

Feeling resentment or bitterness toward someone who has something they desire or covet

Obsessively checking a partner's phone or social media accounts

Here are some ways that your jealous character may grow and evolve over time:

Acknowledging and accepting their jealousy as a flaw

Practicing empathy and putting themselves in other characters' shoes

Letting go of control and learning to trust others

Forgiving themselves and others for past mistakes and misunderstandings

Attempting to understand the root causes of their jealousy

Recognizing and celebrating others' successes instead of feeling threatened by them

Making amends and actively working to repair damaged relationships

Learning to communicate their feelings in a healthy way

Developing a sense of self-worth and confidence independent of others

Try to avoid writing stereotypical jealous characters like these examples:

Don't make the character jealous to the point where they become unsympathetic or unlikable to readers.

Avoid making the character resort to extreme or violent behavior due to their jealousy.

Avoid making the character jealous in every situation or toward every character.

Don't make the character jealous without a clear reason or motivation.

Don't make the character overly possessive or controlling.

Avoid making the jealous character one-dimensional or solely focused on their jealousy.

Here are some potential negatives of being jealous. Note: These are subjective, and some might also be seen as positives depending on the context.

Jealousy can lead to negative emotions, such as resentment, anger, and bitterness.

Jealousy can damage relationships and create a toxic environment.

Jealousy can lead to irrational behavior and poor decision-making.

Jealousy can cause individuals to become possessive and controlling.

Here are some potential positives of being jealous. Note: These are subjective, and some might also be seen as negatives depending on the context.

Can lead to open and honest communication about feelings and concerns

Provides motivation to improve oneself

Helps identify what one values and desires in a relationship or situation

Can be a sign of deep emotional attachment and care

Here are some potential expressions used by jealous characters:

"You're mine, not theirs."

"I don't want anyone else to have what we have."

"I don't like the way they look at you."

"You're hiding something from me."

"Why do they always get the attention?"

"I just want to know everything about your day."

"I can't believe you would do that to me."

"I saw you talking to them; what were you saying?"

"You're spending too much time with them."

Here are some ways that being jealous could affect your character's relationships:

They might try to isolate their partner from others, making it difficult for them to maintain other relationships.

They might become possessive and controlling, limiting their partner's freedom and social interactions.

They may become angry or upset when their partner spends time with friends or family without them.

They may constantly check their partner's phone or social media accounts for signs of infidelity.

They might become emotionally manipulative, using their jealousy to guilt their partner into doing what they want.

They may become physically or emotionally abusive in extreme cases of jealousy.

They may hold grudges or keep a scorecard of perceived wrongs, leading to resentment and further jealousy.

They might feel threatened by their partner's friendships with members of the opposite sex.

They might become suspicious or accusatory without cause, leading to arguments and tension in the relationship.

It's important to remember that jealousy is a complex emotion and can manifest differently in different people and relationships. If you or someone you know is struggling with jealousy in a relationship, seeking professional help is often the best course of action.

Humbert Humbert from Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

Catherine Earnshaw from Wuthering Heights by Emily Bront ë

Amy Dunne from Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Jay Gatsby from The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Severus Snape from the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

Holden Caulfield from The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

Tom Buchanan from The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Iago from Othello by William Shakespeare

Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights by Emily Bront ë

Here are some writing exercises you might try for learning to write jealous characters:

Write a scene from the perspective of a character who is the object of jealousy. How do they perceive the jealous character's behavior toward them?

Put your character in a situation where they must confront their jealousy. How do they handle it? Do they overcome their envy, or does it consume them?

Think about a time when you felt jealous. What triggered the feeling? How did you react? Try to describe the physical and emotional sensations you experienced.

Consider the different ways jealousy can manifest itself. Is your character passive-aggressive or do they lash out? Do they become obsessive or withdrawn?

Write a scene where a character sees someone they envy succeed in something they themselves have failed at. How does the character react? Do they try to hide their jealousy or confront it head-on?

Create a character who is envious of someone close to them. What are they jealous of? How does this affect their behavior toward the other person?

how to start an essay about jealousy

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Composing A Strong Narrative Essay About Jealousy: Tips And Tricks

As a student, whether in the high school or college, essay writing is an unavoidable part of the learning process. There are various types of essays and one of them is narrative. If you have been asked to write this type of paper, you are simply being asked to narrate or tell your target readers a story revolving round a given real-life experience. One of such life experiences is jealousy. This is one thing we encounter every now and then, both within our living environment and the school environment. There is the possibility that you have had an experience where one or more persons exhibit traces of jealousy towards you.

If that is the case you conclude, then it would be easy to write a narrative essay about jealousy. That could be a bit far from the truth. This is simply because there are certain techniques you should follow in order to compose a good paper. Listed below are a few tips. They are:

  • Prewriting preparations: When you are asked to write an academic paper that is narrative in nature, you don’t just jump into writing immediately. You have to take your time to determine events that are more significant and able to portray your story more than the others. Such event should be one that has a sort of emotional attachment to what you are writing about and in this case, jealousy. When you have decided which jealous-related event would make a good story, then you move to the next phase.
  • See it as more than a story: If you really want to draw the attention of your target readers, your narrative essay should be something more than a story. It should be a narrative that comes with a lesson learnt through the experience being relayed. If you are able to convey a good story with an attendant meaning, then you can be sure of hooking your writers.
  • Write in the first person: This is another tip that has proven helpful. When you write your story in the first person format, using “I” instead of writing in the third person, it gives more life and image to the story being told.
  • Give it depth: You want to entrance your readers and for this reason, don’t leave out the details of the story. Let them know all the “aahs” and “ouch”. Leaving out details will only lead to distorted understanding of your narrative essay. That is not what you want.
  • Be vividly descriptive: Another tip you should not ignore is making use of vivid descriptions in writing your narrative paper. Use phrases that would make your target readers feel your pains, your joys, your disappointment as if they were there with you. Instead of saying, “her jealousy turned her into a different person”, you can say “out of jealousy, she became a nightmare and the proverbial вЂtwo-horned-devil’ to me”.

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Mary C. Lamia Ph.D.

What Jealousy Is Trying to Tell You

Jealousy feels so unpleasant. but like any emotion, it gives us information..

Posted June 26, 2020 | Reviewed by Devon Frye

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Jealousy involves fear with worrisome thoughts of a potential loss. Commonly, jealousy is an emotional reaction activated by the actual or anticipated interest in another person by someone we care about. When a third party threatens the bond that exists in a partnership, we may feel insecure, rejected, worried, angry, or self-doubting, among a host of other undesirable feelings.

The emotion of jealousy is a derivative of shame . It informs us of an obstacle to the connection between ourselves and a loved one, alerting us to a threat to the relationship. The potential disconnection experienced in jealousy often involves a social comparison. When you experience jealousy, you may assume that someone else is receiving the attention or adoration that you want for yourself. In some way, the other person appears more desirable.

This is the drama of shame and pride where diminishing pride dominates. As a result, you may employ one or more of the typical coping and defensive responses to the shame of jealousy, which can involve withdrawal, avoidance, attacking yourself, or attacking the other. [1]

A response to jealously that attacks others may result in aggressive and offensive behavior. You may want to hurt the person who is a jealous rival and behave in ways that will control the person whose bond you fear losing. Such approach inclinations may manifest in behaviors aimed at breaking up the threatening liaison or re-establishing the primary relationship. [2]

Becoming avoidant when you are jealous, for instance, may lead you to abuse alcohol or drugs to relieve your feelings. Through withdrawal, you may hope that the person you have a relationship with will notice and re-establish your bond. Attacking oneself may lead to all kinds of self-injurious behaviors. Although defensive responses to jealousy represent attempts to protect self-esteem and preserve bond that is perceived as broken, they can result in depression or loneliness .

Jealousy can blind us. A perceived threat to a relationship can induce anxiety that leads to insecurity, making us sensitive to negative emotional cues and affecting how we see the world. [3] Moreover, uncertainty about a relationship and the fear of shame can lead to an obsessive preoccupation with its status. If there is not enough psychological safety in a relationship, or if you have experienced childhood loss or abandonment that interferes with your sense of safety, you may have a hard time working through an experience of shame-based jealousy.

Many situations where feelings of jealousy are triggered may have little to do with someone else's qualities or the interest a partner may have in another person. Instead, they may have more to do with one’s own self-perception that becomes amplified by a partner's behavior around a third party. Since jealousy involves a comparison, the person who experiences the emotion is left thinking they do not measure up.

Emotions evolved to inform us. Experiencing the toxicity of jealousy provides a rare opportunity to learn. We can ask ourselves some questions, rather than become hindered by our response to the emotion. For example, are you perceiving that you lack some quality that you would like to develop for yourself? Are you experiencing jealousy because you want something more from your relationship than the relationship can provide? How do you perceive yourself and what you are doing in your life compared to others?

Jealousy offers us an opportunity to look within, consider what we want for ourselves, reflect on how we want to be treated by others, and give thought to what we are going to do about the information.

Facebook image: Diego Cervo/Shutterstock

[1] Nathanson, D. (1992). Shame and Pride: Affect, Sex, and the Birth of the Self . New York: Norton.

[2] Harris, C. (2003). A review of sex differences in sexual jealousy, including self-report data, psychophysiological responses, interpersonal violence, and morbid jealousy. Personality and Social Psychology Review , 7, 102–128.

[3] Most, S., Laurencau, J., Graber, E., Belcher, A., & Smith, C. (2010). Blind Jealousy? Romantic insecurity increases emotion-induced failures of visual perceptions. Emotion , 10, 250-256.

Mary C. Lamia Ph.D.

Mary C. Lamia , Ph.D. , is a clinical psychologist in Marin County, California.

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COMMENTS

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    Making a slight growl or noise in the throat. Bitterness at watching how others respond to the rival. Quick, sharp movements (swiping tears from cheeks, shoving hair out of eyes) Pursing or pressing lips flat. Crossing arms in front of chest. Clenching teeth. Muttering unkind things under breath.

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  18. Free Essays on Jealousy, Examples, Topics, Outlines

    Jealousy: A Common and Complex Emotion Jealousy is a common emotion that can affect almost everyone at some point. It's often uncomfortable, but it can also be an important part of relationships.Jealous people have feelings of apprehension, suspicion, and rage when they believe that another person is about to hurt or... Jealousy. Words: 545.

  19. 100+ Jealous Character Traits

    Constantly comparing themselves to others and feeling inferior. Guilt and shame for their jealous thoughts and actions. The need for validation and reassurance from others to feel secure. Obsessive thoughts and behaviors regarding the person or thing they are jealous of. Fear of losing what they have to someone else.

  20. A Quick Guide To Creating A Narrative Essay About Jealousy

    As a student, whether in the high school or college, essay writing is an unavoidable part of the learning process. There are various types of essays and one of them is narrative. If you have been asked to write this type of paper, you are simply being asked to narrate or tell your target readers a story revolving round a given real-life experience.

  21. Othello Jealousy Essay

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