who am i best essay

Who Am I Essay: Writing Tips and Sample

Your “Who am I?” essay is a paper where you describe yourself as a person. Mention what inspires and motivates you, what you love and don’t love, your goals and wishes, etc.

In this article, you’ll learn how to write this personal essay. (And please don’t miss a ready-made example to understand what to describe in your work!)

How to Write a “Who Am I” Essay

You’re that person who knows you best, but writing about yourself is still challenging:

You read a writing prompt for a college application or scholarship , and you aren’t sure if you understand it in detail. How do you know what exactly to mention in your essay? You can’t find words to describe your nature and skills. How do you know if that particular accomplishment or story from your life is worth including?

Stick with us here for practical tips on writing a “Who Am I” essay, with a free template to follow.

How to start?

Ask any writer, and they will tell you that the hardest part of the writing process is to start it. It’s a kind of writer’s block when you stare at a blank screen and don’t know what to write. Below are several ideas that can help you craft a compelling essay about yourself:

• Think about one sentence that would describe you best. (A technique some authors use for inspiration: Answer the question, “What would friends write on your grave?” or “What do you want the world to remember about you?” You can start an essay with that phrase.
• In the introduction, describe yourself in general . (Be truthful and honest.)
• Discuss one or two of your hobbies. (Choose those you’re most passionate about, those influencing your mood — and maybe your skills — most.)
•   Highlight your achievements but don’t boast. ( Be reflective by analyzing and evaluating what you’ve achieved.)
• Add some personality to the essay. (Tell anecdotes, include examples, and be creative to keep readers engaged with your story.)

Short Essay About “Who I Am” Sample

You’re welcome to use the below template from our professional writer for crafting your future “Who am I” essays. Here it goes:

Actionable Tips to Improve Your Paper

Ready to start writing? Consider these helpful tips on crafting a person essay about who I am:

1) Understand your audience

Who will read your essay? Is it a college admission officer who knows nothing about you? Or, maybe it’s your school teacher with some background of who you are? Do you plan to publish your reflection for your social media followers or blog readers?

Depending on the audience, your story may change. Add details about what interests your readers: What would they want to know? Understanding your readers will make your essay more compelling (1). It will be easier for you to engage them and make them emotionally connected to your story.

2) Don’t be afraid to look vulnerable

Allow the readers to see your inner feelings. Sincerity and reflection are the new black, you know. It’s okay to speak about your strengths, weaknesses, or worries to the audience. That’s what differentiates you from other people, thus making you an individual.

Here’s the big secret:

Admission committees appreciate students’ understanding of their weaknesses and areas to grow. Communicate the willingness to change and grow. You’re just a human, after all.

Write about what you want to develop in yourself. Or, tell about life experiences that have changed or influenced you most.

3) Proofread and edit your essay

Once your essay is ready, it’s time to proofread and edit it. Here’s a short checklist of the details to fix if any:

• Grammar and punctuation mistakes (verb tenses, sentence structure)
• Spelling errors and inconsistencies in names or terms
• Incorrect capitalization
• No logical flow or transitions between paragraphs
• Excessive wordiness and repetition
• Biased language
• Too much passive voice and redundant adverbs
• Too sophisticated words and phrases that have simpler alternatives

That’s It: Your “Who Am I” Essay Is Ready

In this blog post, we tried to cover all the core details of personal essay writing. Now you know how to start it, what elements to include, and how to craft it for better readability and emotional connection with the audience.

We hope our 500-word essay example will help you write your perfect story about yourself. If you still have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask our professional writers for help.

References:

• https://summer.harvard.edu/blog/12-strategies-to-writing-the-perfect-college-essay/
• Essay samples
• Essay writing
• Writing tips

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How to Write a “Who Am I” Essay: Free Tips With Examples

11 December 2023

last updated

Essay writing is an exciting and challenging academic activity that helps students to develop essential writing skills, such as creative thinking, reflective, and analytical skills. When writing an essay on the topic “Who Am I,” students should understand what is required of them before writing a paper. Ideally, educational departments and tutors provide instructions that dictate the approach that students should take when writing academic texts. In principle, a “Who Am I” essay should reflect the first-person language because this prompt requires learners to tell the audience about themselves. In this respect, writers can use narrative, philosophical, college application, or autobiographical approaches in writing a paper. Hence, learners need to understand how to write a “Who Am I” essay to provide high-quality papers and achieve desired outcomes.

General Guidelines for Writing a “Who I Am” Essay

Essay writing is an academic activity that exposes students to conventions of formal writing and enhances their critical thinking, analytical, and reflective skills. Although there are different types of essays , there are no significant differences in essay structure , essay outline , and applicable academic writing rules. Basically, the only areas where essays seem to be different are essay topics and their content. For example, an argumentative essay advances the writer’s perspective on an issue, while a narrative essay provides the author’s life story. In the former, students intend to persuade the audience by considering specific arguments, and, in the latter, they inform readers about personal experiences with life lessons. Therefore, in writing an essay on the topic “Who Am I,” writers should first understand what is required of them. Ideally, this type of essay asks authors to talk about themselves.

Differences Between a “Who Am I” Essay and Other Papers

In principle, essays that ask writers to talk about themselves tend to be different from standard formal papers. Basically, one point of difference is that students have to use the first-person language, which is discouraged in formal writing. By considering that a “Who Am I” essay requires learners to talk about themselves, such a paper takes several forms. For example, these structures include formats of narrative, philosophical, college application, and autobiographical papers. Although an essay topic is in a question form, it does not necessarily mean that writers are unsure about themself. In turn, such a format means that they intend to answer this question in a paper by following a particular way to the audience’s benefit.

1. Narrative Format

A narrative essay is one where the writer’s focus is to provide the audience with a life story. Basically, this life story can take many forms, including personal or family experiences. In short, a “Who Am I” essay in a narrative format utilizes personal anecdotes as a means of communication. Moreover, one of the strategies for writing these essays is adopting a “show, not tell” strategy, which means using vivid descriptions rather than informative statements. Therefore, a narrative essay on the topic “Who Am I” should focus on the writer’s personal experiences that help the audience to understand an author. Since a topic is a question, one expectation is that students use personal anecdotes to provide an answer that benefits the audience more than them. When it comes to grading, what matters the most is whether writers have used narratives to educate the audience about who they are.

2. Philosophical Format

Philosophy is a discipline that focuses on unraveling the mysteries of life and nature. As such, a philosophical essay is one in which students engage the audience in a topic of discovery. In this case, one can argue that the essay’s type is informative. Since the topic “Who Am I” denotes an aspect of an investigation, learners who use a philosophical approach focus on telling the audience things about themselves that advance an understanding of human nature. On expectations, the essay’s content should not dwell on the writer’s demographical background or personal experiences but on who an author is in the context of human nature and its strengths and weaknesses. When it comes to grading, what matters is whether writers have applied a philosophical lens to describe themselves. In turn, a good example is unraveling what makes them strong, vulnerable, or weak.

3. College Application Format

College or university application is a type of essay that potential students write to the admissions board or committee of their choice institution. Basically, a “Who Am I” essay for colleges aims to convince and persuade the board or committee that applicants have all that it takes to be a student. To achieve this goal, learners provide essential details that are likely to advance their courses. For example, these details include personal attributes, academic performance (grades), work experiences, and future aspirations. Therefore, the expectation of a college application essay on the topic “Who Am I” is that it should inform the audience what makes writers outstanding and appropriate students for a higher learning admission. When it comes to grading, what matters the most is whether writers have emphatically made a case to college boards of why they are the best candidates for admission.

4. Autobiographical Format

By definition, an autobiography is a life story that captures the subject’s entire life. However, since it is hardly possible to write an individual’s life story – every detail about themselves since they were born – writers focus on what is relevant at any one given time. Therefore, when writing an autobiographical essay on the topic “Who Am I,” the expectation is that students provide details about themselves that help the audience to understand them better. For example, such details include their family lineage, demographical (race, ethnicity, gender, language, and nationality) background, academic credentials, and professional accomplishments. In this case, indicating one’s marital status and life’s philosophy are also crucial details in such an essay. On grading, the thing that matters the most is whether authors have offered a wholesome picture of who they are, from childhood to a present moment.

Essay Structures for “Who Am I” Papers

Academic writing standards require students and researchers to adopt a structure and an outline appropriate for their text when writing any academic paper . Typically, essays assume a three-component structure of introduction, main text (body), and conclusion. Also, when writing an essay on the topic “Who Am I” in narrative, philosophical, college application, or autobiographical forms, a student must use a structure that is appropriate for that paper. Besides a structure and an outline, there are other features that students must consider when writing a “Who Am I” essay in one of the formats.

1. Narrative Outline Format for a “Who Am I” Essay

When writing a narrative essay on the theme “Who Am I,” a student must follow an outline below:

I. Introduction

• Topic introduction (Significance of a topic).
• Thesis statement .

II. Body Paragraph(s)

• Setting or background of an event.
• People involved.
• Short anecdote.

III. Conclusion

• Lesson learned

Essential features. Students must address all the critical features in a “Who Am I” essay as applicable in these three sections. In the introduction, learners must briefly introduce themselves and clearly state a thesis of their papers. In the paper’s body, writers must use several paragraphs to tell the audience about themselves. Since the communication should be in a story form, authors can use each paragraph to tell a personal anecdote that enables the audience to understand them better. Besides, one of the features that writers must capture in the paper’s body is a “show, not tell” method, being an aspect of providing vivid details or descriptions. In turn, the most significant features that students should capture in the conclusion section are a restatement of a thesis sentence and a lesson learned. Also, the audience must see this lesson as a moral of a narrative story.

2. Philosophical Outline Format for a “Who Am I” Essay

When writing a philosophical essay on the theme “Who Am I,” students should follow an outline format below:

• Thesis statement (The question that a writer intends to answer).
• Clarification of this question.
• A reason why this question is critical.
• Answer a question through a topic sentence in one or several paragraphs.
• Qualify and defend a thesis in one or several paragraphs.
• Thesis restatement
• Summary of the main point(s) in the body paragraph(s)

Essential features. In each of the three sections, learners must address crucial elements. Firstly, the introduction must be opened with a thesis statement that introduces a question that an author seeks to answer. Basically, learners should make the audience understand a question and explain its importance to them (writers) and the audience. Then, students can use one or more paragraphs in the body section, depending on their paper’s length. In the case of a one-page paper, there should be only one paragraph that opens with a topic sentence. In turn, this sentence should answer a question that forms the essay’s theme. Moreover, learners need to qualify and defend their thesis. In the conclusion section, writers must restate a thesis and summarize the main points.

3. College Application Outline Format for a “Who Am I” Essay

When writing a college application essay on the theme “Who Am I,” students must follow an outline that helps accomplish their objective- convince the admission committee that they are the best candidates among many applicants. Hence, such an outline should be as follows:

• Thesis statement.
• First supporting idea.
• Second supporting idea.
• Third supporting idea.
• Restate a thesis.
• Reflect on the main ideas.
• Closing remark.

Essential features. When writing the introduction for a “Who Am I” essay in a college application format, students should provide a hook to grab the attention of the audience. For example, this aspect should be an interesting fact or a quote from a famous personality. Then, another essential feature is contextualizing an essay by stating the purpose of writing concisely. Basically, this statement is what should be a thesis of such a paper. In the main body, learners should use body paragraphs, each introducing a critical idea. However, if a “Who Am I” essay is a one-page document, authors should write specific ideas in a single body paragraph. Also, these ideas are what help writers to strengthen their cases before the admission committee. In turn, such elements can be personal attributes, academic performance, or work experiences. In the conclusion section, learners need to restate a thesis and reflect on the main ideas, closing with a remark that impresses the audience.

4. Autobiographical Outline Format for a “Who Am I” Essay

When writing an autobiographical essay on the theme “Who Am I,” students should follow an outline below:

• Introduce yourself to the audience.
• Early years.
• Future plans.
• Restate a thesis statement.
• Tie up all the experiences.

Essential features. Essential elements that students must address in the introduction of a “Who Am I” essay by following an autobiographical format are a hook that grabs the readers’ attention, a brief self-introduction, and a thesis statement. In this case, writers should use several body paragraphs in such a paper. However, if an essay is a one-page document, authors should use one body paragraph. Moreover, components of a body paragraph should be details about the writer’s life, such as childhood, early education, cultural orientation, and aspirations. In the conclusion section, learners need to restate a thesis and tie up all the details about their life addressed in the main text.

Effective Writing Strategies

When writing a “Who Am I” essay in different formats, students should use strategies that guarantee a high-quality product. For example, the first strategy is utilizing transitions to create a natural and logical flow from one paragraph to the next or section to section. In this case, common transitions are “therefore,” “additionally,” “put differently,” “hence,” “thus,” and “however.” Then, another strategy is subjecting an essay to a peer review. Here, writers give the first draft to a friend, tutor, or mentor to read and identify errors and mistakes. Also, if there are any mistakes, students revise and edit their papers to eliminate them. In turn, another strategy is proofreading the final draft to ensure that mistakes are not made during typing, or writers must revise and edit it accordingly.

Example of a Narrative Essay: Who Am I?

I. introduction sample.

Adults say that adolescence is a period of development full of dramatic episodes. For me, it is a stage that saw my childhood friends become a significant influence on my worldview. The topic “Who Am I” focuses on investigating aspects of my life that define how I see myself and how others see me. As such, I can say that I am an individual who loathes social gatherings but is always willing to let my friends push me out of my comfort zone.

II. Example of a Body

For me, friendships are not only social relationships but concepts that define how I view and relate to the world. Since when I was a child, I have never been a person who loves social gatherings. I get irritated quickly when people try to dictate what I should be doing or saying at any particular moment. For example, on one occasion, I caused a violent commotion when a friend tried to make me dance with a stranger in a nightclub. However, life is not that easy. We cannot avoid social interactions. For this reason, I have a few friends who are also introverts but who are willing to push themselves to the edge. As a result, they always come up with plans to take themselves outdoors to, at least, interact with others as human beings.

III. Conclusion Sample

When I look at my life, I can confidently say that I rarely interact with people. However, I always let my friends push me from my comfort zone. In turn, what I have learned so far in life is that close friends fundamentally and significantly influence how individuals see the world around them.

Example of a Philosophical Essay: Who Am I?

Although I am an insignificant player in the theatre of life, I hope to become an influential person one day. Basically, the question “Who Am I” underscores the fact that human nature is complicated, and it takes an entire lifetime for individuals to understand themselves fully. In particular, the essence of this question is that, despite sharing humanity’s title, people from all walks of life express themselves in diverse ways.

On the question “Who Am I,” I can confidently say that I am an individual in the process of “becoming.” For example, when it comes to talking about human beings and the world, the discourse that attracts a significant audience is a discussion about men and women who have made a mark in the world. Moreover, these aspects include war heroes, successful businesspersons, influential political leaders, and controversial personalities. In this case, my contribution to the world stage can only be defined as insignificant. Nonetheless, I do not allow this reality to define my self-concept. I believe that “human life is a journey of a thousand miles,” and even those that we celebrate today are once insignificant personalities. Besides, I believe that a secret is to remain focused on what one desires to be in the coming future. In turn, I have a habit of volunteering in healthcare settings because I would love to become a nurse after college.

Life is like a river that can carry an individual to familiar or strange destinations. In my case, I am hopeful that it will relocate me from a place of insignificance to a place of significance. For this reason, I always remain cheerful, optimistic, and hopeful, and, one day, I will be influential like those we celebrate today.

Example of a College Application Essay: Who Am I?

Ever since I was a child, I have always loved to visit hospitals and other healthcare settings. Also, I believe this is why I love sciences and why I have always performed remarkably well in these subjects. In turn, my present application is an effort toward a realization of my dream to become a healthcare professional.

My healthcare career journey started when I was a child, and all along, I have maintained this pursuit. When you look at my GPA, I have performed remarkably well in sciences, which, I believe, makes a perfect case for a healthcare career. Besides education, I have had opportunities to work closely with medical personnel in diverse settings, including first-aid simulations in community healthcare centers. Moreover, I have volunteered in local hospitals, experiences that I consider to have shaped my perspectives on patient care significantly. In this case, I believe that you should consider my application because I am a self-driven individual who always looks for opportunities in challenges. Hence, my admission into a Bachelor of Nursing Degree will orient me to nuisances of healthcare delivery. With such knowledge, my dream to become a healthcare professional would be within reach. 

Applying for a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing is an effort to realize my lifelong dream of becoming a healthcare professional. As you consider my application, I implore you to consider the far I have come in preparation for this career. Thus, given an opportunity to study a program in your college, I will learn to become an effective healthcare professional.

Example of an Autobiographical Essay: Who Am I?

People say that the only way to know an individual is to know a personal heritage. As an African American, I take pride in being part of a race, being so rich in culture, and one that leans on traditions. Talking about “Who Am I,” I can confidently say that I am a child of a world that takes pride in cultural heritage.

I was born about three decades ago in a town famous for its natural beauty. As a whole, the State of Virginia is more rural than urban. Basically, this characteristic has played a significant role in defining my naturalist tendencies. Also, I am a lover of nature. For example, I habitually take walks every evening just to see nature – trees, birds, and butterflies. About education and career, I attended an Ivy League college and have built a career as a legal practitioner. In my family, I have three siblings – one sister and two brothers. In turn, I am yet to marry as my career seems to take all of my time. What I prize the most is the fact that I am an African American young adult with a promising career in a world that seems intolerant to successful individuals of African heritage.

Being a successful African American in a world that seems to prejudice successful people of African heritage is a blessing to me. When I look at my life journey, I can only say that my cultural heritage is among the things I prize the most.

Defining Characteristics of a “Who Am I” Essay

A thesis statement appears in the introduction section of a “Who Am I” essay, thus setting the entire paper’s tone and theme. What follows is a body paragraph that opens with a topic sentence. Moreover, the body paragraph’s content revolves around a topic sentence that advances the essay’s central idea. Then, one of the defining characteristics of examples of “Who Am I” essays for different formats is the use of the first-person language. Basically, this aspect helps writers to “show, not tell.” Also, this aspect is evident in the body paragraph. In a narrative essay, it is an example of the nightclub commotion, and, in a philosophical essay, it is the habit of volunteering in healthcare settings. In a college application essay, the feature is evident in a story about working with medical personnel in first-aid simulations. In an autobiographical essay, it is about evening walks to appreciate nature.

Summing Up on How to Write a “Who Am I” Essay

Essay writing is an exciting and challenging academic exercise for students across all levels of education. Although there are different types of essays, structure and outline formats remain the same: introduction, body, and conclusion. In essence, what students need to understand is the essential features that enrich the content in the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. When writing an essay on “Who Am I” students need to know that such a paper is different from a standard format. Moreover, the central point of difference is that such an essay requires students to use the first-person language in a paper, which can take formats of narrative, philosophical, college application, or autobiographical essays. In writing such an essay, students must master the following tips:

• use the first-person language;
• make use of personal anecdotes;
• “show, not tell” by providing vivid descriptions;
• develop a thesis in the introduction;
• use topic sentences to introduce ideas in a paragraph;
• observe a maximum length requirement and a minimum length requirement of a “Who Am I” essay by considering a word count.

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“Who Am I Essay”: What Details Should You Write About Yourself?

Tue Sep 21 2021

By Nickdeda

"Who am I?" This may seem like the most straightforward question. But when you start to figure out who you really are, you'll notice it requires critical thinking. When you're expected to write an essay on this topic, you must understand what is required of you before you begin. Ideally, tutors, academic departments, and admissions departments have specifications that dictate the approach that you should adopt when crafting an academic paper. What person do you write in an essay? In essence, a “who am I essay” must demonstrate the first-person language since the prompt requires learners to let the audience know about them.

How Do I Write an Essay About Yourself?

Most students transitioning from high school to college find it hard to describe themselves. As such, they end up mixing up ideas.  The main aim of this paper is to let your readers know you and what you believe in. Notably, the paper doesn't only focus on the positives; you may also use a creative approach to describe your weak points. You can also include the things that make you unique, including character and special skills.

You must strike a balance to make your essay convincing and realistic. So include the following elements:

• Character: What habits define you? What are your character traits?
• Values: Describe your value system by mentioning the things you find inspiring. Here, you'll state your principles, beliefs, inspirations and motivations. Your target audience expects staunch stands on specific items but avoid mentioning any radical points.
• Skills: What are your aptitudes? What are your skills levels? This may include leadership, education, languages, computer, communication, and any information you find worthy.
• Achievements: You want your audience to know what you've achieved so far, so be sure to include them.

Other elements include interests, dislikes, and any experiences that influenced your life.  

How Do I Start an Essay Who Am I?

You can use different formats for your who am I essays, depending on your current circumstance or target audience. The main ones include:

Narrative Format

Here, you'll focus on sharing your life story with your audience. Life stories can take different forms, including family or personal experiences. 

The narrative format communicates through personal anecdotes and uses vivid descriptions instead of informative statements. Therefore, be sure to focus on experiences that will make your target audience understand you. Since the title is a question, you should provide a comprehensive answer that answers your audience. 

The following structure should be used when writing in a narrative format:

• Introduction – This section comprises a hook, a brief topic introduction (describe its significance), and a thesis statement.
• Body paragraphs – Mention the background or setting of an event, the involved people, a brief anecdote, the essay climax, and an ending.
• Conclusion – Talk about the lesson learned.

Philosophical Format

This discipline unravels the mysteries of nature and life, so you must engage your audience in a discovery topic. Therefore, you may treat this format as informative.  "Who am I" essays denote the investigative aspect, so always tell your audience the things about you that advance their understanding of human nature. Also, the content shouldn't dwell on your personal experiences or demographical background, but who you are in the context of human nature, weaknesses, and strengths.

Follow the outline below when writing in a philosophical format.

• Introduction – This should include a thesis statement, clarification of the question, and a description of its importance.
• Body paragraphs – This section should answer the question via a topic sentence covering one or several paragraphs. These paragraphs must qualify and defend a thesis.
• Conclusion – Here, you'll restate the thesis and review the critical points within the body paragraphs.

College Application Format

"Who am I" essays are also written during college or university application to the admissions committee or board of your preferred institution. In this case, the paper has to convince the board that you have all it takes to join them.

Therefore, you must highlight the essential details to advance your course. The details include academic performance, personal attributes, employment history, and future aspirations. Generally, the expectation is that you communicate what makes you an outstanding and appropriate learner.

You need an outline that can convince the admissions committee, so ensure you include the following key elements:

• Introduction – This consists of a hook and thesis statement
• Body paragraph – Include all your supporting ideas in this section
• Conclusion – This part includes a thesis restatement, a reflection on the main points, and a closing remark.

Autobiographical Format

An autobiography is a story capturing your entire life. But since you can't write your whole story in one sitting, only focus on the relevant information at any given moment. The expectation here is that you share details that can help your readers understand you better.

You may include details like demographical background, family lineage, professional accomplishments, and academic credentials. In this case, including your life's philosophy and marital status is essential.

Follow the outline below when writing a who am I college essay using the autobiographical format:

• Introduction – This comprises a hook, a brief introduction to the audience, and a thesis statement.
• Body paragraphs - These sections should cover your early years, academic background, culture, and any plans for the future.
• Conclusion – Conclude by restating the thesis statement and tying up all your experiences.

Essential Tips When Writing A Who Am I Essay

Different who am I essay examples use varying formats and writing approaches. However, the following practical tips will help you get the best results from your essay:

• Honesty is crucial, but be delicate with the information you provide
• Write about the things you're passionate about
• Share a captivating story within the piece
• Get creative
• Smooth or hide your weaknesses while highlighting your strengths
• Avoid boasting
• Describe your perspective
• Pay attention to the impression

Final thoughts

As human beings, self-identity is critical, which is why students must learn to write who am I essays. But giving the correct answers about yourself isn't easy. Fortunately, the above tips will guide you through the process, helping you develop a well-written, comprehensive piece that would impress your audience. Even better, you can reach out to us for additional guidance or assign the task to one of our experienced writer. 

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How to Write Who Am I Essay

Table of Contents

You might think of this task as rare, but you’d be surprised to learn how many times people are asked to write a who am I assignment. If you thought that writing an essay about yourself was only given at school or as part of an admission application, you are very wrong. The who am I question is asked many times in a life of a person, both for work and studies.

Tips for Writing an Essay About Yourself

Naturally, the instructions, requirements and rules will differ based on the situation, so you might want to note them down before you get started. However, there are some things that are common and apply to all essays of this type. So, in addition to the instructions you should look at and control while writing, there are some tips that will help you make the process easier.

Follow a Structure

There’s no better way to follow a structure than by producing a quality, organized who am I essay outline beforehand. This outline will help you organize your content and the structure, with it providing the reader with a coherent, understandable and concise explanation of who you are.

Choose a Main Line

What does this mean?

It means that you need to have a focus in your essay. Whether it is a thing you enjoy doing, a relationship you want to discuss, or a key feature of your own character – this has to be present throughout the entire essay.

Select a Style

What style are you planning to use in your writing? Your story cannot be too varied. We recommend using artistic techniques of the literary genre, such as allegories, metaphors, etc. You can even use humor to make the essay more interesting for the reader.

Be Objective

The goal of this essay is to reveal the personality of the writer. But, this doesn’t mean that you should brag about your traits and fail to mention the negative characteristics. We are all humans, so naturally, no one is perfect. Trying to camouflage this behind your greatest traits can leave a bad impression. So, attempt to be objective in your writing.

Postpone the Revelation

One great idea in essay writing is to postpone the intrigue, the revelation. To keep the reader interested until the very end, keep something to yourself until you get there. Introduce it at the start, but do not go explaining it completely right away. Do it gradually and finish at the conclusion.

Who Am I Essay Samples

Now that we’ve shared some short tips for students who are asked to write such essay, it is time to present you with an excellent example of what this essay should look like. Whether you need it for college or for high school, one of the best ways to learn something is by seeing good examples of it.

Consider this sample your secret assignment helper in writing your own who am I essay. The example is written by experts of AssignmentMasters essay writing service .

Example of Who Am I Essay Introduction

People keep asking me the same question: who and what are you? It was not so long ago that I understood that I don’t have a clear answer to it. At least not yet. I am a human being, so I am as complicated as the next guy. But, my complications are nothing like those of the other guy. They are completely unique. I find some happenings admirable and very pleasant, while others find them terrible. The things they see as great; I can see as outraged. I guess it is all a piece of the puzzle that is called personality. Perhaps this essay will demonstrate mine.

Main Body of the Who Am I Essay Example

To be able to answer the question about who I am, I began with asking people around what they think of me. I am not certain that this helped me get a correct picture, and in some way it confused and worried me, but it certainly gave me a different perspective of myself. What others see in me is something I often know of, but sometimes fail to notice. The latter applies to my errors, which I believe is only natural.

I am an animal lover, a technology addict, and a person who is really fond of travelling. In fact, I am so connected with dogs and other animals, I find it outrageous that I cannot ask them about their opinion about me. So, what’s left for me was to ask my friends and family. And not so long ago, I did.

When I spoke to my computer science teacher and shared my love of technology, she evaluated my work as above average. I expected much more from her, but it surely got me motivated to become better. She simply said: ‘There is plenty of room for improvement, but if you continue with the same enthusiasm, I see a bright future for you.’

As it turns out, I accept things quite literary. With her argumentation, I got it clear that I am not as great as I believed, but my love of technology can be seen instantly. I saw no reason to reconsider my chosen path and my hobbies. As it turns out, I am on the right path. But, I am either not talented, or not attentive enough.

That is when I talked to my father. To tell the truth, my father is my idol and the person I trust most, so naturally I approached him with my troubles. I went to him asking if I should try to pursue something else since this is not a thing I am great at, or try more. To my surprise, my father was completely on the side of the teacher. But, not in a bad way.

This is when I learned some things about myself. My father explained to me that a single barrier or complaint does not mean that I should give up. I never gave up easily as a child, so why would this make me?

He said that it doesn’t mean that my teacher was wrong. On the opposite, he believed that my potential was far from what I showed in life. Apparently, I am ‘too careful to show my strengths’. By trying not to make an error, I don’t take enough risks. I follow guidelines as given and rarely stray from them. It is not my biggest trait, but I do find dedication and persistence to be a good thing. At least I did until this point.

My mother sees my inability to show my computer knowledge as laziness. I do not agree with her, but it is an opinion I gladly accept. Sometimes people see you as you wouldn’t want to see yourself. That does not make their opinion wrong.

Example of Who Am I Essay Conclusion

So, what’s the final say? Who am I?

I am not the greatest or the worst. I am human and I need to try harder. I am a great representative of the humans of my time and my generation. I realize that, in some cases, my strict policy to follow rules and instructions is stopping me from being great. To be truly seen by a teacher, I should work on my own in addition to working with the class. The true potential is built not only by curriculum, but by personal efforts, too.

Did this example and the tips above helped you find the answer to this question? It is now time to sit down and write it. We hope that your essay is a revelation of the greatness that you are!

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How to Write "Who am I" Essay | Start to End Guide

Introduction

Here is guide on how you can write a "who am i" essay, 1) write a solid who am i essay introduction, 2)get into details in body paragraphs.

• Keep your Audience in Mind. 
• Remember that the essay must be concise, clear, and informative. 
• The headings and subheadings ought to be succinct, enticing, and still easy to read. 
• Make sure that the tone of the essay is what sets it apart. 

3) Add a Strong who am I Essay Conclusion

5) recheck all requirements and proofread.

• Use concise, simple sentences when writing an essay.
• Your aspirations and passions and how they motivate you. 
• Write about an instance where hardship helped you grow.
• How is the quality of your life, as you currently understand it? How does it affect your education, community, and future? Your personal wishes and how they affect you should be addressed.
• Use an active voice and a clear structure to convey your ideas clearly. 
• Before beginning, ensure you fully understand the nature of the essay and other requirements.
• Check your essay's headings and subheadings to make sure you remain firmly focused on the topic.
• Connect the topic of the essay to your introduction, body, and conclusion.
•  In a few well-chosen words, the essay title should convey both the entire essay's main idea and its best qualities.
•  The essay must follow a distinct but simple tone and structure.  As a result, it is preferable to write an outline before beginning. 
•  Pay close attention to the conclusion because it will summarize the whole essay.
•  Before submitting your essay, double-check the word count required by the admissions committee.
•  Do not overdo anything, and keep it real; the simpler, the better. 
•  Do not use slang, swear words or a lot of informal knowledge.

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Essay on Who Am I for Students and Children

500+ words essay on who am i.

In this world, many people surround us. Though we all apparently look similar, yet we all are unique in our own ways. The uniqueness gives us an identity. I am a teenage girl. I am like most teenage girls but I am also different from others. Those differences make me who I am.

I am a girl in mid-teenage. From childhood, I always loved to interact with people. I like to know people and make friends. I am a social person and go out with my friends and family. Also, I like to visit new places. Nature attracts me. Therefore, whenever I get the vacation I always insist on my friends and family for a getaway in nature’s lap.

Travelling gives me immense pleasure. I always capture beautiful moments and places in my camera. Whenever I am sad, I revisit my photo album to look at the beautiful places and moments. The thought of those happy moments and beautiful places makes me happy.

I am serious and disciplined about my studies and read many books other than my textbooks. Reading autobiographies and detective storybooks are what I like. I am involved in extra curriculum activities. I am learning music and love to sing.

Also, I listen to all genres of music but Hindustani classical , semi-classical, Bollywood songs are my favorite. Melodious songs are close to my heart. I always participate in musical and cultural events organized in my school. I also take part in the inter-school competition and have been a winner at an inter-school competition a couple of times. Those are cherishable and proud moments of my life.

Every person is a mix of good and bad qualities. I am not an early riser by nature. I understand that waking up early is very important to become productive. Still, during my holidays I take the liberty of waking up late.

I am an ambitious person and a dreamer. My dream is to become a teacher. I think a teacher is a big motivator and guide. I would like to motivate people and guide them to do good for society.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Me in several roles

While growing up I have realized that I am an individual but I play several roles throughout the day. As per these roles, my behavior and attitude keep altering. This variation adds various shades in my personality.

In my home firstly, I am a daughter. I try to listen and follow what my parents teach me. When I do well in studies, they become proud. Yet when I do not obey them, they scold me. I get lots of love, care and attention from my parents.  I also care, love, and respect them. My parents are my first identity in this world.

Secondly, I am a sister. I have an elder brother. He takes care of me and guides to follow the path to success. My brother is also my friend. We spend quality time together playing, laughing at jokes together, and watching our favorite cartoon shows. The love, care, the fight makes a beautiful bond between us.

Thirdly, I am a student. Our teachers always try to guide us to realize our path of life. They want us to be sincere in studies and build a successful career . They also instill in us the values of a good human being. I try to be a sincere and obedient student and always do my homework and do well in studies. I also respect my teachers and am an obedient student. My teachers are patient and they always guide me to overcome my mistakes.

Fourthly, the role that we all love is that of a friend. I have many friends. I love moving out and spending time with my friends. We help each other in times of need. We live happy moments together. Friendship is very beautiful. I love to make my friends feel special, and never miss wishing them on their birthdays.

Conclusion             

Life is full of experiences. Every moment we meet different people and face different situations. In this course of life, we not only get to know different people, but we also get to know ourselves in different ways.

As we grow, our likes dislike interest changes. Our perception and outlook toward life also change with time and experience. Thus, the search to the answer to the question of who I am is a lifelong process.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Who Am I — Understanding The Self: Who Am I as Person

Understanding The Self: Who Am I as Person

• Categories: Finding Yourself Holden Caulfield Who Am I

About this sample

Words: 978 |

Published: Oct 13, 2021

Words: 978 | Pages: 2 | 5 min read

Who I Am As A Person

Works cited:.

• Bradbury, R. (2012). Fahrenheit 451. Simon and Schuster.
• Bloom, H. (Ed.). (2010). Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451. Infobase Publishing.
• Cadden, M. (1995). Science fiction and the mass cultural genre system. Science-Fiction Studies, 22(3), 317-328.
• Coale, S. (2004). "Out of Bounds and Out of Control": Reading Race, Space, and Class in Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451. Science Fiction Studies, 31(3), 349-367.
• Hiner, S. E. (2003). The perfectibility of man and society in Fahrenheit 451. The Midwest Quarterly, 45(2), 282-296.
• Isaacs, L. D. (2002). Ray Bradbury. Salem Press.
• Jaffa, H. V. (2003). Fahrenheit 451: Misinterpreting a classic. Academic Questions, 16(3), 16-21.
• Larrick, N. (1967). The all-white world of children's books. The Saturday Review, 50(42), 63-65.
• Schaub, J. F. (2011). The mind's I: Fantasies and reflections on self and soul. University of Notre Dame Press.
• Simkin, J. (2018). Social criticism in Fahrenheit 451 and 1984. The Explicator, 76(4), 225-230.

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Living With Muscular Dystrophy at 50 Makes Death My Shadow Partner

I am an Aries through and through—bold, ambitious, fiery, and confident.  Today, March 27, marks my 50th year on this planet, something I could never have imagined. I was diagnosed with an undetermined type of muscular dystrophy as a young child, and doctors told my parents I wouldn’t live to become an adult. My immigrant parents cried when they heard the news. Even though this news was devastating, they never treated me like a fragile egg about to break. In fact, as the first born child of three girls, I had a lot of responsibilities and expectations which only reinforced my Aries tendencies.

While my parents always supported me, I knew at an early age that my life was different. And since they didn’t sugarcoat anything to me, I had a very clear sense that my time was limited. In my bedroom, with a scary clown ceiling light above me at night, my vivid imagination wondered how I would die–would it be a slow and painful death? Would it be fast from a medical emergency? Knowing my muscles are progressively weakening as I struggled to walk as a child and breathe as a teenager always kept death at the forefront of my mind. Believing I had no future shaped me in ways I am still processing today.

Birthdays have given me pause for reflection, especially this year. I recently looked at a picture taken from my 40th birthday party and could not recognize myself. I wasn’t wearing a BiPap mask because at the time I only had to use it intermittently to support my breathing. I did not wear a belt across my chest which I need now because my upper body has grown weaker. I recalled being exhausted after the party. When I got home, I immediately put my mask on and turned on the ventilator. It was a sweet relief. Shortly after I started to use it for longer periods of time until I began using it all day and night. I didn’t see it as a failure of my body but part of the inevitable downward slide toward my final destination.

Read more: ‘This Is Really Life or Death.’ For People With Disabilities, Coronavirus Is Making It Harder Than Ever to Receive Care

Two years ago, I experienced the most harrowing and traumatic series of medical crises that led to weeks in the ICU which left me without the ability to speak due to a tracheostomy, a tube in the throat connected to a ventilator, and the ability to swallow and eat or drink by mouth. This resulted in needing a feeding tube that goes into my stomach and intestine. During my hospitalization, I also lost sensation in my bladder so now I urinate through a catheter four to five times a day. Those weeks were like a fever dream–I couldn’t sleep for days because every time I closed my eyes I feared I would never wake up. I was in tremendous pain and could only communicate by mouthing words to my sisters or scrawling on a pad of paper. In the few moments when I could write, I outlined instructions to my sisters on what to do if I didn’t make it. Was this the way I would die? It was my closest brush with death in a series of many but I lived to tell another tale. But I was determined to claw my way forward to another day.

I am still adjusting to life again in a new body and way of life that requires a considerable number of resources, supplies, and machinery to stay alive and avoid institutionalization. The amount of maintenance and administrative work it takes to be disabled in America has also taken a toll—the additional out-of-pocket home care that I need now is $840 a day. With the donations from my GoFundMe dwindling, managing and directing a team of caregivers for my daily activities requires a lot of forethought and clear communication.  Being disabled in a nondisabled world is precarious, one of constant adaptation. I remade myself into a new cyborg form that still has a voice , a breath, and a will to live.

Right now, as my body is at its lowest point, I am at the height of my powers. I have never been more happy, free, and resolute on what I want to do. As I turn 50, I am filled with mixed emotions. I dread what lies ahead if I reach 60. Will this be my final decade of life? Maybe it’s ok that I can’t predict what will happen or what the future will hold since no one can. What I will do is spend my time, energy, and labor intentionally with the people I care about. I will host dinner parties, make chili crisp for my friends, and spoil my cats Bert and Ernie. I will treasure every breath pushed through my ventilator and be grateful to have a rare night’s sleep without pain. And most importantly, I will try to rest and care for myself.

Death remains my intimate shadow partner. It has been with me since birth, always hovering close by. I understand one day we will finally waltz together into the ether. I hope when that time comes, I die with the satisfaction of a life well-lived, unapologetic, joyful, and full of love.

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• The Case for Marrying an Older Man

A woman’s life is all work and little rest. An age gap relationship can help.

In the summer, in the south of France, my husband and I like to play, rather badly, the lottery. We take long, scorching walks to the village — gratuitous beauty, gratuitous heat — kicking up dust and languid debates over how we’d spend such an influx. I purchase scratch-offs, jackpot tickets, scraping the former with euro coins in restaurants too fine for that. I never cash them in, nor do I check the winning numbers. For I already won something like the lotto, with its gifts and its curses, when he married me.

He is ten years older than I am. I chose him on purpose, not by chance. As far as life decisions go, on balance, I recommend it.

When I was 20 and a junior at Harvard College, a series of great ironies began to mock me. I could study all I wanted, prove myself as exceptional as I liked, and still my fiercest advantage remained so universal it deflated my other plans. My youth. The newness of my face and body. Compellingly effortless; cruelly fleeting. I shared it with the average, idle young woman shrugging down the street. The thought, when it descended on me, jolted my perspective, the way a falling leaf can make you look up: I could diligently craft an ideal existence, over years and years of sleepless nights and industry. Or I could just marry it early.

So naturally I began to lug a heavy suitcase of books each Saturday to the Harvard Business School to work on my Nabokov paper. In one cavernous, well-appointed room sat approximately 50 of the planet’s most suitable bachelors. I had high breasts, most of my eggs, plausible deniability when it came to purity, a flush ponytail, a pep in my step that had yet to run out. Apologies to Progress, but older men still desired those things.

I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me, given their intelligence. Each time I reconsidered the project, it struck me as more reasonable. Why ignore our youth when it amounted to a superpower? Why assume the burdens of womanhood, its too-quick-to-vanish upper hand, but not its brief benefits at least? Perhaps it came easier to avoid the topic wholesale than to accept that women really do have a tragically short window of power, and reason enough to take advantage of that fact while they can. As for me, I liked history, Victorian novels, knew of imminent female pitfalls from all the books I’d read: vampiric boyfriends; labor, at the office and in the hospital, expected simultaneously; a decline in status as we aged, like a looming eclipse. I’d have disliked being called calculating, but I had, like all women, a calculator in my head. I thought it silly to ignore its answers when they pointed to an unfairness for which we really ought to have been preparing.

I was competitive by nature, an English-literature student with all the corresponding major ambitions and minor prospects (Great American novel; email job). A little Bovarist , frantic for new places and ideas; to travel here, to travel there, to be in the room where things happened. I resented the callow boys in my class, who lusted after a particular, socially sanctioned type on campus: thin and sexless, emotionally detached and socially connected, the opposite of me. Restless one Saturday night, I slipped on a red dress and snuck into a graduate-school event, coiling an HDMI cord around my wrist as proof of some technical duty. I danced. I drank for free, until one of the organizers asked me to leave. I called and climbed into an Uber. Then I promptly climbed out of it. For there he was, emerging from the revolving doors. Brown eyes, curved lips, immaculate jacket. I went to him, asked him for a cigarette. A date, days later. A second one, where I discovered he was a person, potentially my favorite kind: funny, clear-eyed, brilliant, on intimate terms with the universe.

I used to love men like men love women — that is, not very well, and with a hunger driven only by my own inadequacies. Not him. In those early days, I spoke fondly of my family, stocked the fridge with his favorite pasta, folded his clothes more neatly than I ever have since. I wrote his mother a thank-you note for hosting me in his native France, something befitting a daughter-in-law. It worked; I meant it. After graduation and my fellowship at Oxford, I stayed in Europe for his career and married him at 23.

Of course I just fell in love. Romances have a setting; I had only intervened to place myself well. Mainly, I spotted the precise trouble of being a woman ahead of time, tried to surf it instead of letting it drown me on principle. I had grown bored of discussions of fair and unfair, equal or unequal , and preferred instead to consider a thing called ease.

The reception of a particular age-gap relationship depends on its obviousness. The greater and more visible the difference in years and status between a man and a woman, the more it strikes others as transactional. Transactional thinking in relationships is both as American as it gets and the least kosher subject in the American romantic lexicon. When a 50-year-old man and a 25-year-old woman walk down the street, the questions form themselves inside of you; they make you feel cynical and obscene: How good of a deal is that? Which party is getting the better one? Would I take it? He is older. Income rises with age, so we assume he has money, at least relative to her; at minimum, more connections and experience. She has supple skin. Energy. Sex. Maybe she gets a Birkin. Maybe he gets a baby long after his prime. The sight of their entwined hands throws a lucid light on the calculations each of us makes, in love, to varying degrees of denial. You could get married in the most romantic place in the world, like I did, and you would still have to sign a contract.

Twenty and 30 is not like 30 and 40; some freshness to my features back then, some clumsiness in my bearing, warped our decade, in the eyes of others, to an uncrossable gulf. Perhaps this explains the anger we felt directed at us at the start of our relationship. People seemed to take us very, very personally. I recall a hellish car ride with a friend of his who began to castigate me in the backseat, in tones so low that only I could hear him. He told me, You wanted a rich boyfriend. You chased and snuck into parties . He spared me the insult of gold digger, but he drew, with other words, the outline for it. Most offended were the single older women, my husband’s classmates. They discussed me in the bathroom at parties when I was in the stall. What does he see in her? What do they talk about? They were concerned about me. They wielded their concern like a bludgeon. They paraphrased without meaning to my favorite line from Nabokov’s Lolita : “You took advantage of my disadvantage,” suspecting me of some weakness he in turn mined. It did not disturb them, so much, to consider that all relationships were trades. The trouble was the trade I’d made struck them as a bad one.

The truth is you can fall in love with someone for all sorts of reasons, tiny transactions, pluses and minuses, whose sum is your affection for each other, your loyalty, your commitment. The way someone picks up your favorite croissant. Their habit of listening hard. What they do for you on your anniversary and your reciprocal gesture, wrapped thoughtfully. The serenity they inspire; your happiness, enlivening it. When someone says they feel unappreciated, what they really mean is you’re in debt to them.

When I think of same-age, same-stage relationships, what I tend to picture is a woman who is doing too much for too little.

I’m 27 now, and most women my age have “partners.” These days, girls become partners quite young. A partner is supposed to be a modern answer to the oppression of marriage, the terrible feeling of someone looming over you, head of a household to which you can only ever be the neck. Necks are vulnerable. The problem with a partner, however, is if you’re equal in all things, you compromise in all things. And men are too skilled at taking .

There is a boy out there who knows how to floss because my friend taught him. Now he kisses college girls with fresh breath. A boy married to my friend who doesn’t know how to pack his own suitcase. She “likes to do it for him.” A million boys who know how to touch a woman, who go to therapy because they were pushed, who learned fidelity, boundaries, decency, manners, to use a top sheet and act humanely beneath it, to call their mothers, match colors, bring flowers to a funeral and inhale, exhale in the face of rage, because some girl, some girl we know, some girl they probably don’t speak to and will never, ever credit, took the time to teach him. All while she was working, raising herself, clawing up the cliff-face of adulthood. Hauling him at her own expense.

I find a post on Reddit where five thousand men try to define “ a woman’s touch .” They describe raised flower beds, blankets, photographs of their loved ones, not hers, sprouting on the mantel overnight. Candles, coasters, side tables. Someone remembering to take lint out of the dryer. To give compliments. I wonder what these women are getting back. I imagine them like Cinderella’s mice, scurrying around, their sole proof of life their contributions to a more central character. On occasion I meet a nice couple, who grew up together. They know each other with a fraternalism tender and alien to me.  But I think of all my friends who failed at this, were failed at this, and I think, No, absolutely not, too risky . Riskier, sometimes, than an age gap.

My younger brother is in his early 20s, handsome, successful, but in many ways: an endearing disaster. By his age, I had long since wisened up. He leaves his clothes in the dryer, takes out a single shirt, steams it for three minutes. His towel on the floor, for someone else to retrieve. His lovely, same-age girlfriend is aching to fix these tendencies, among others. She is capable beyond words. Statistically, they will not end up together. He moved into his first place recently, and she, the girlfriend, supplied him with a long, detailed list of things he needed for his apartment: sheets, towels, hangers, a colander, which made me laugh. She picked out his couch. I will bet you anything she will fix his laundry habits, and if so, they will impress the next girl. If they break up, she will never see that couch again, and he will forget its story. I tell her when I visit because I like her, though I get in trouble for it: You shouldn’t do so much for him, not for someone who is not stuck with you, not for any boy, not even for my wonderful brother.

Too much work had left my husband, by 30, jaded and uninspired. He’d burned out — but I could reenchant things. I danced at restaurants when they played a song I liked. I turned grocery shopping into an adventure, pleased by what I provided. Ambitious, hungry, he needed someone smart enough to sustain his interest, but flexible enough in her habits to build them around his hours. I could. I do: read myself occupied, make myself free, materialize beside him when he calls for me. In exchange, I left a lucrative but deadening spreadsheet job to write full-time, without having to live like a writer. I learned to cook, a little, and decorate, somewhat poorly. Mostly I get to read, to walk central London and Miami and think in delicious circles, to work hard, when necessary, for free, and write stories for far less than minimum wage when I tally all the hours I take to write them.

At 20, I had felt daunted by the project of becoming my ideal self, couldn’t imagine doing it in tandem with someone, two raw lumps of clay trying to mold one another and only sullying things worse. I’d go on dates with boys my age and leave with the impression they were telling me not about themselves but some person who didn’t exist yet and on whom I was meant to bet regardless. My husband struck me instead as so finished, formed. Analyzable for compatibility. He bore the traces of other women who’d improved him, small but crucial basics like use a coaster ; listen, don’t give advice. Young egos mellow into patience and generosity.

My husband isn’t my partner. He’s my mentor, my lover, and, only in certain contexts, my friend. I’ll never forget it, how he showed me around our first place like he was introducing me to myself: This is the wine you’ll drink, where you’ll keep your clothes, we vacation here, this is the other language we’ll speak, you’ll learn it, and I did. Adulthood seemed a series of exhausting obligations. But his logistics ran so smoothly that he simply tacked mine on. I moved into his flat, onto his level, drag and drop, cleaner thrice a week, bills automatic. By opting out of partnership in my 20s, I granted myself a kind of compartmentalized, liberating selfishness none of my friends have managed. I am the work in progress, the party we worry about, a surprising dominance. When I searched for my first job, at 21, we combined our efforts, for my sake. He had wisdom to impart, contacts with whom he arranged coffees; we spent an afternoon, laughing, drawing up earnest lists of my pros and cons (highly sociable; sloppy math). Meanwhile, I took calls from a dear friend who had a boyfriend her age. Both savagely ambitious, hyperclose and entwined in each other’s projects. If each was a start-up , the other was the first hire, an intense dedication I found riveting. Yet every time she called me, I hung up with the distinct feeling that too much was happening at the same time: both learning to please a boss; to forge more adult relationships with their families; to pay bills and taxes and hang prints on the wall. Neither had any advice to give and certainly no stability. I pictured a three-legged race, two people tied together and hobbling toward every milestone.

I don’t fool myself. My marriage has its cons. There are only so many times one can say “thank you” — for splendid scenes, fine dinners — before the phrase starts to grate. I live in an apartment whose rent he pays and that shapes the freedom with which I can ever be angry with him. He doesn’t have to hold it over my head. It just floats there, complicating usual shorthands to explain dissatisfaction like, You aren’t being supportive lately . It’s a Frenchism to say, “Take a decision,” and from time to time I joke: from whom? Occasionally I find myself in some fabulous country at some fabulous party and I think what a long way I have traveled, like a lucky cloud, and it is frightening to think of oneself as vapor.

Mostly I worry that if he ever betrayed me and I had to move on, I would survive, but would find in my humor, preferences, the way I make coffee or the bed nothing that he did not teach, change, mold, recompose, stamp with his initials, the way Renaissance painters hid in their paintings their faces among a crowd. I wonder if when they looked at their paintings, they saw their own faces first. But this is the wrong question, if our aim is happiness. Like the other question on which I’m expected to dwell: Who is in charge, the man who drives or the woman who put him there so she could enjoy herself? I sit in the car, in the painting it would have taken me a corporate job and 20 years to paint alone, and my concern over who has the upper hand becomes as distant as the horizon, the one he and I made so wide for me.

To be a woman is to race against the clock, in several ways, until there is nothing left to be but run ragged.

We try to put it off, but it will hit us at some point: that we live in a world in which our power has a different shape from that of men, a different distribution of advantage, ours a funnel and theirs an expanding cone. A woman at 20 rarely has to earn her welcome; a boy at 20 will be turned away at the door. A woman at 30 may find a younger woman has taken her seat; a man at 30 will have invited her. I think back to the women in the bathroom, my husband’s classmates. What was my relationship if not an inconvertible sign of this unfairness? What was I doing, in marrying older, if not endorsing it? I had taken advantage of their disadvantage. I had preempted my own. After all, principled women are meant to defy unfairness, to show some integrity or denial, not plan around it, like I had. These were driven women, successful, beautiful, capable. I merely possessed the one thing they had already lost. In getting ahead of the problem, had I pushed them down? If I hadn’t, would it really have made any difference?

When we decided we wanted to be equal to men, we got on men’s time. We worked when they worked, retired when they retired, had to squeeze pregnancy, children, menopause somewhere impossibly in the margins. I have a friend, in her late 20s, who wears a mood ring; these days it is often red, flickering in the air like a siren when she explains her predicament to me. She has raised her fair share of same-age boyfriends. She has put her head down, worked laboriously alongside them, too. At last she is beginning to reap the dividends, earning the income to finally enjoy herself. But it is now, exactly at this precipice of freedom and pleasure, that a time problem comes closing in. If she would like to have children before 35, she must begin her next profession, motherhood, rather soon, compromising inevitably her original one. The same-age partner, equally unsettled in his career, will take only the minimum time off, she guesses, or else pay some cost which will come back to bite her. Everything unfailingly does. If she freezes her eggs to buy time, the decision and its logistics will burden her singly — and perhaps it will not work. Overlay the years a woman is supposed to establish herself in her career and her fertility window and it’s a perfect, miserable circle. By midlife women report feeling invisible, undervalued; it is a telling cliché, that after all this, some husbands leave for a younger girl. So when is her time, exactly? For leisure, ease, liberty? There is no brand of feminism which achieved female rest. If women’s problem in the ’50s was a paralyzing malaise, now it is that they are too active, too capable, never permitted a vacation they didn’t plan. It’s not that our efforts to have it all were fated for failure. They simply weren’t imaginative enough.

For me, my relationship, with its age gap, has alleviated this rush , permitted me to massage the clock, shift its hands to my benefit. Very soon, we will decide to have children, and I don’t panic over last gasps of fun, because I took so many big breaths of it early: on the holidays of someone who had worked a decade longer than I had, in beautiful places when I was young and beautiful, a symmetry I recommend. If such a thing as maternal energy exists, mine was never depleted. I spent the last nearly seven years supported more than I support and I am still not as old as my husband was when he met me. When I have a child, I will expect more help from him than I would if he were younger, for what does professional tenure earn you if not the right to set more limits on work demands — or, if not, to secure some child care, at the very least? When I return to work after maternal upheaval, he will aid me, as he’s always had, with his ability to put himself aside, as younger men are rarely able.

Above all, the great gift of my marriage is flexibility. A chance to live my life before I become responsible for someone else’s — a lover’s, or a child’s. A chance to write. A chance at a destiny that doesn’t adhere rigidly to the routines and timelines of men, but lends itself instead to roomy accommodation, to the very fluidity Betty Friedan dreamed of in 1963 in The Feminine Mystique , but we’ve largely forgotten: some career or style of life that “permits year-to-year variation — a full-time paid job in one community, part-time in another, exercise of the professional skill in serious volunteer work or a period of study during pregnancy or early motherhood when a full-time job is not feasible.” Some things are just not feasible in our current structures. Somewhere along the way we stopped admitting that, and all we did was make women feel like personal failures. I dream of new structures, a world in which women have entry-level jobs in their 30s; alternate avenues for promotion; corporate ladders with balconies on which they can stand still, have a smoke, take a break, make a baby, enjoy themselves, before they keep climbing. Perhaps men long for this in their own way. Actually I am sure of that.

Once, when we first fell in love, I put my head in his lap on a long car ride; I remember his hands on my face, the sun, the twisting turns of a mountain road, surprising and not surprising us like our romance, and his voice, telling me that it was his biggest regret that I was so young, he feared he would lose me. Last week, we looked back at old photos and agreed we’d given each other our respective best years. Sometimes real equality is not so obvious, sometimes it takes turns, sometimes it takes almost a decade to reveal itself.

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New York Takes Crucial Step Toward Making Congestion Pricing a Reality

The board of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority voted to approve a new $15 toll to drive into Manhattan. The plan still faces challenges from six lawsuits before it can begin in June.

By Winnie Hu and Ana Ley

New York City completed a crucial final step on Wednesday in a decades-long effort to become the first American city to roll out a comprehensive congestion pricing program, one that aims to push motorists out of their cars and onto mass transit by charging new tolls to drive into Midtown and Lower Manhattan.

The program could start as early as mid-June after the board of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, the state agency that will install and manage the program, voted 11-to-1 to approve the final tolling rates, which will charge most passenger cars $15 a day to enter at 60th Street and below in Manhattan. The program is expected to reduce traffic and raise $1 billion annually for public transit improvements.

It was a historic moment for New York’s leaders and transportation advocates after decades of failed attempts to advance congestion pricing even as other gridlocked cities around the world, including London, Stockholm and Singapore, proved that similar programs could reduce traffic and pollution.

While other American cities have introduced related concepts by establishing toll roads or closing streets to traffic, the plan in New York is unmatched in ambition and scale.

Congestion pricing is expected to reduce the number of vehicles that enter Lower Manhattan by about 17 percent, according to a November study by an advisory committee reporting to the M.T.A. The report also said that the total number of miles driven in 28 counties across the region would be reduced.

“This was the right thing to do,” Janno Lieber, the authority’s chairman and chief executive, said after the vote. “New York has more traffic than any place in the United States, and now we’re doing something about it.”

Congestion pricing has long been a hard sell in New York, where many people commute by car from the boroughs outside of Manhattan and the suburbs, in part because some of them do not have access to public transit.

New York State legislators finally approved congestion pricing in 2019 after Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo helped push it through. A series of recent breakdowns in the city’s subway system had underscored the need for billions of dollars to update its aging infrastructure.

It has taken another five years to reach the starting line. Before the tolling program can begin, it must be reviewed by the Federal Highway Administration, which is expected to approve it.

Congestion pricing also faces legal challenges from six lawsuits that have been brought by elected officials and residents from across the New York region. Opponents have increasingly mobilized against the program in recent months, citing the cost of the tolls and the potential environmental effects from shifting traffic and pollution to other areas as drivers avoid the tolls.

A court hearing is scheduled for April 3 and 4 on a lawsuit brought by the State of New Jersey, which is seen as the most serious legal challenge. The mayor of Fort Lee, N.J., Mark J. Sokolich, has filed a related lawsuit.

Four more lawsuits have been brought in New York: by Ed Day, the Rockland County executive; by Vito Fossella, the Staten Island borough president, and the United Federation of Teachers; and by two separate groups of city residents.

Amid the litigation, M.T.A. officials have suspended some capital construction projects that were to be paid for by the program, and they said at a committee meeting on Monday that crucial work to modernize subway signals on the A and C lines had been delayed.

Nearly all the toll readers have been installed, and will automatically charge drivers for entering the designated congestion zone at 60th Street or below. There is no toll for leaving the zone or driving around in it. Through traffic on Franklin D. Roosevelt Drive and the West Side Highway will not be tolled.

Under the final tolling structure, which was based on recommendations by the advisory panel, most passenger vehicles will be charged $15 a day from 5 a.m. to 9 p.m. on weekdays, and from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. on weekends. The toll will be $24 for small trucks and charter buses, and will rise to $36 for large trucks and tour buses. It will be $7.50 for motorcycles.

Those tolls will be discounted by 75 percent at night, dropping the cost for a passenger vehicle to $3.75.

Fares will go up by $1.25 for taxis and black car services, and by $2.50 for Uber and Lyft. Passengers will be responsible for paying the new fees, and they will be added to every ride that begins, ends or occurs within the congestion zone. There will be no nighttime discounts. (The new fees come on top of an existing congestion surcharge that was imposed on for-hire vehicles in 2019.)

The tolls will mostly be collected using the E-ZPass system. Electronic detection points have been placed at entrances and exits to the tolling zone. Drivers who do not use an E-ZPass will pay significantly higher fees — for instance, $22.50 instead of $15 during peak hours for passenger vehicles.

Emergency vehicles like fire trucks, ambulances and police cars, as well as vehicles carrying people with disabilities, were exempted from the new tolls under the state’s congestion pricing legislation .

As for discounts, low-income drivers who make less than $50,000 annually can apply to receive half off the daytime toll after their first 10 trips in a calendar month. In addition, low-income residents of the congestion zone who make less than $60,000 a year can apply for a state tax credit.

All drivers entering the zone directly from four tolled tunnels — the Lincoln, Holland, Hugh L. Carey and Queens-Midtown — will receive a “crossing credit” that will be applied against the daytime toll. The credit will be $5 round-trip for passenger vehicles, $12 for small trucks and intercity and charter buses, $20 for large trucks and tour buses, and $2.50 for motorcycles. No credits will be offered at night.

Grace Ashford contributed reporting.

Winnie Hu is a Times reporter covering the people and neighborhoods of New York City. More about Winnie Hu

Ana Ley is a Times reporter covering New York City’s mass transit system and the millions of passengers who use it. More about Ana Ley