he working on his homework no he

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Would you say "He has homework to do, doesn't he?" or "He has homework to do, hasn't he?"? [duplicate]

I would normally say 'He has homework to do, doesn't he?' but I've heard some people say the other variant is correct.

Which one would you say is correct? Or are both of them correct?

• grammaticality
• question-tags

• 1 The rule states that if the anchor predicator is an auxiliary verb, select the same one; otherwise select "do". For most speakers, the "has" in your example is a lexical verb so the tag should be "doesn't he?" –  BillJ Commented Oct 28, 2021 at 8:52

2 Answers 2

Relevant link .

The English tag question is made up of an auxiliary verb and a pronoun. The auxiliary must agree with the tense, aspect and modality of the verb in the preceding sentence. If the verb is in the present perfect , for example, the tag question uses has or have ; if the verb is in a present progressive form, the tag is formed with am, are, is ; if the verb is in a tense which does not normally use an auxiliary , like the present simple, the auxiliary is taken from the emphatic do form; and if the sentence has a modal auxiliary , this is echoed in the tag

It seems to me that the easy way to remember these rules is to phrase the initial statement as a question, as it reveals the same auxiliary verb. In order of the above bullet points:

He has painted the house. => Has he painted the house? => He has painted the house, hasn't he? He is painting the house. => Is he painting the house? => He is painting the house, isn't he? He paints houses. => Does he paint houses? => He paints houses, doesn't he? He will paint the house. => Will he paint the house? => He will paint the house, won't he?

Note that you can substitute all of these with past tense and the same structure will apply.

In your case, you are using present simply with no modal auxiliary, so the tag question is formed from the emphatic do:

He has homework to do, doesn't he?

Coincidentally, "doesn't" is completely unrelated to the earlier "to do". It has everything to do with the main verb being "to have" without any auxiliary. To prove this, we can change the example to not contain "to do":

He has houses to paint, doesn't he?

However , other links on the same topic reveal that these rules are very different from locale to locale (e.g. UK English uses "hasn't" much more frequently than US English), so these rules are not universally set in stone across the English speaking world. I suspect UK English speakers would've used "hasn't he" in your example, or at least considered both options to be valid. But I'm no native UK English speaker so I'm not the best source on that.

It seems this is one of those cases where speakers of a certain English dialect will intuitively sense which verb is the right one to use, and it's hard to encapsulate all possible use cases in a simple rule that everyone agrees with.

• 2 Yes, British English speakers would certainly use hasn't he? to match the main verb has . –  Kate Bunting Commented Oct 28, 2021 at 9:32
• 1 The uncertainty arises from the fact that stative "have" is an auxiliary verb for some speakers, and a lexical one for others. For those who take it as an auxiliary, the tag is "hasn't he"; for those who take it as a lexical verb, the tag is "doesn't he". Overall, most speakers consider this "have" to be a lexical verb. –  BillJ Commented Oct 28, 2021 at 9:50
• 1 @BillJ: I understand your point, but I think that in the current example it can't be an auxiliary verb. There is a difference between "He has to do homework" and "He has homework to do". They don't mean the same thing, and they're parsed differently from a grammatical perspective. For the latter, I cannot see how "has" can be parsed as an auxiliary (but I can for the former). However, I do agree that informal usage often glosses over grammatical nuance and is liable to interchangeably use two very similar things, which can justify why these two sentences are conflated. –  Flater Commented Oct 28, 2021 at 10:00
• 1 If one considers the negative to be "He hasn't homework to do", has he?", then it's an auxiliary. Lexical "have" requires do support in inversion, though that is irrelevant in a sentence like the OP's –  BillJ Commented Oct 28, 2021 at 10:34

Consider a grammatically similar sentence that does not use the words have or do until the last part. For example "She brings sea shells to sell, xxxn't she?"

In this sentence the only natural ending is "doesn't she". As the original sentence follows the same pattern I would suggest it should end in the same way.

After "He has got homework to do" it must certainly be "hasn't he" because it must agree with the verb "has".

When "has" is used as a simple verb it is common to see it used again in a follow-up phrase or sentence. For example "He has a piano. Has he?" and "He has a piano. Does he?" are both used, but for "He owns a piano. Does he?" there is no alternative using "has".

Often a verb can be replaced by "does verb". For example "He has a piano" becomes "He does have a piano". In this form "does he" is the response. On the other hand "he has got homework" can't be replaced by "he does have got homework".

The general rule is to use "does he" in sentences like OP's example, where the "does verb" replacement can be done.

• In the OP's example most speakers would say that "has" is a lexical verb, not an auxiliary, so the preferred tag for them is "doesn't he?" For those speakers who treat it as an auxiliary verb, the tag is "hasn't he?" Incidentally, the auxiliary verb "have" is not modal. –  BillJ Commented Oct 28, 2021 at 12:57
• @BillJ, I usually steer away from much of the formal grammatical language, partly because I am likely to get it wrong. Thanks for your correction. After I posted my first version of my answer I wondered about "it is larger isn't it", compared with "it appears larger doesn't it". Following my original logic the first should be "it is larger, doesn't it". Hardly anyone says "it does be larger", though so the "does verb" rule discriminates here, at least. –  Peter Commented Oct 28, 2021 at 13:11
• The verb "be" is an auxiliary verb even if it's the only verb in the clause. Thus the tag in "It is larger, isn't / *doesn't it" can only have the same verb, i.e. "isn't it". This explains why "doesn't it?" is ungrammatical in that example. –  BillJ Commented Oct 28, 2021 at 13:40

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Tuesday 16 December 2014

Combine using relative pronouns.

• The boy solved the puzzle. He was praised by the teacher.
• The boy  who solved the puzzle  was praised by the teacher.

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"Was he not doing his homework" vs " Wasn't he doing his homework"

What is the difference between them.It is in a test so I have no context.

Was he not doing his homework Wasn't he doing his homework

6 Answers 6

To me it sounds that the question

Was he not doing his homework?

is asking whether "he" was slacking off , ignoring his responsibility to do his homework. When spoken, the " not " would be emphasized.

The question

Wasn't he doing his homework?

is intended to express doubt or request a confirmation. The speaker supposes the " he " (the subject of the question) was in fact " doing his homework ", but something in the conversation prior to this question presented a contrary view.

Most often, the two sentences can be used interchangeably. They mean the same thing essentially, except the first sentence has no contraction and so is more formal.

The only reason the word order is different is due to the contraction "wasn't" (was not). It's a common and handy word that is used frequently, even in places where its un-contracted meaning "was not" would sound strange.

Nobody ever says "Was not he doing his homework?" but because of custom and habit, English speakers freely say "Wasn't he doing his homework?". It's a quirk of the language.

This is not to say that the other answers are wrong, only that in everyday usage the speaker or writer is most likely not being that precise.

I'll go out on a limb and take a different stance from other answers (that were posted before mine).

The only two differences between Was he not doing his homework? and Wasn't he doing his homework? are: a) the former is an uncontracted negative question (and the latter is a contracted negative question); and thus b) the former ( Was he not ...? ) would sound more formal.

Both alternatives can have either of these two meanings:

[i] Is it true that he wasn't doing his homework ? [ii] It's true that he was doing his homework , isn't it?

The ambiguity is normally not a problem because it'd be clear in context.

In my humble opinion, there isn't any difference in meaning between the two written sentences out of context. We simply cannot assign a specific meaning to each alternative out of context.

The first sentence is asking if he was not doing his homework.

The second one refers to if he was doing his homework at the time.

Quite opposite to each other!

• I am not sure I got it, can you explain it in some scenarios please if possible –  Amanda21 Commented Oct 8, 2015 at 18:00

What Nihilist_frost says is true to an extent, but depending on the context the first first version could be a somewhat stuffy version of the second IMO.

Was he not doing his homework at the time?

This sentence sounds grammatically fine to me and leaves me in little doubt whoever is asking believe "he" was doing his homework at the time.

I agree with most of the answers posted by the users.

"Was he not doing his homework?" and "Wasn't he doing his homework?" are syntactically similar, as "wasn't" (from the second sentence) is merely a contraction of "was not" (from the first sentence).

However, if we decipher the similarities and/or differences in the light of Semantics, the two statements have varying meanings.

First, the statement "Was he not doing his homework?" stresses on the "not doing" verb phrase of the sentence. Thus, this would mean that a person is asking another if "he" is "not doing" "his homework". We could paraphrase this as (although there is a difference in form) "He is not doing his homework, is he?"

Second, the statement "Wasn't he doing his homework?" emphasizes on "doing" or (could be) on "doing his homework". Therefore, this could mean that a person is asking another if "he" is currently working or not on "his homework". Another interpretation would be asking if "he" is (currently) working on his own homework. Since it is in the past tense, we could say that he was currently working on the homework mentioned.

I know that my explanation is somewhat confusing, but I hope this could give you more ideas regarding this topic.

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“He didn’t do his homework,did he?” “He didn’t do his homework,right?” What is the difference in meaning between these two sentences? See a translation

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It’s basically asking the same thing. The first one is more asking if “he” did his homework, while the second one assumes that “he” did not do his homework.

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Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / School & Homework

“My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over Schoolwork

By janet lehman, msw.

For many parents, getting their kids to do their homework is a nightly struggle. Some kids refuse to do their homework. Others claim that they don’t have homework, but then the report card comes out, and you realize that their work was not being done.

So why is homework time so difficult? In my opinion, one of the major reasons is that it’s hard for kids to focus at home. Look at it this way: when your child is in school, they’re in a classroom where there aren’t a lot of distractions. The learning is structured and organized, and all the students are focusing on the same thing.

But when your child comes home, their brain clicks over to “free time” mode. In their mind, home is a place to relax, have a snack, listen to music, and play video games. Kids simply don’t view the home as the place to do schoolwork.

If the homework struggles you experience are part of a larger pattern of acting out behavior, then the child is resisting to get power over you. They intend to do what they want to do when they want to do it, and homework just becomes another battlefield. And, as on any other battlefield, parents can use tactics that succeed or tactics that fail.

Regardless of why your child won’t do their homework, know that fighting over it is a losing proposition for both of you. You will end up frustrated, angry, and exhausted, and your child will have found yet another way to push your buttons. And, even worse, they will wind up hating school and hating learning.

A major part of getting your child to do their homework lies in establishing a system so that your child comes to see that homework is just a regular part of home life. Once they accept that, you’ve already won half the battle. Accordingly, my first few tips are around setting up this system. If you get the system right, things tend to fall into place.

Put this system in place with your child at a time when things are calm and going well rather than during the heat of an argument. Tell your child that you’re going to try something different starting next week with homework that will make it go better for everyone. Then explain the system.

You’ll find that this system will make your life easier as a parent, will make you more effective as a parent, and will help your child to get the work done. And when your child gets their work done, they’re more likely to succeed, and nothing drives motivation more than success.

Structure the Evening for Homework

When your kids come home, there should be a structure and a schedule set up each night. I recommend that you write this up and post it on the refrigerator or in some central location in the house. Kids need to know that there is a time to eat, a time to do homework, and also that there is free time. And remember, free time starts after homework is done.

Homework time should be a quiet time in your whole house. Siblings shouldn’t be in the next room watching TV or playing video games. The whole idea is to eliminate distractions. The message to your child is, “You’re not going to do anything anyway, so you might as well do your homework.”

Even if your child doesn’t have homework some nights, homework time should still mean no phone and no electronics. Instead, your child can read a book or a magazine in their room or work on longer-term assignments. Consistently adhering to the homework time structure is important to instill the homework habit.

Start the Evening Homework Habit When Your Kids are Young

If your children are younger and they don’t get homework yet, set aside quiet time each evening where your child can read or do some type of learning. Doing so will help children understand that evening quiet and study time is a part of everyday home life, just like chores. This habit will pay off when the real homework begins.

Use a Public Place for Homework

For a lot of kids, sending them to their rooms to do their homework is a mistake. Many children need your presence to stay focused and disciplined. And they need to be away from the stuff in their rooms that can distract them.

You know your child best. If you think they’re not being productive in their room, then insist they work at the kitchen table or in some other room where you can monitor them and where there will be fewer distractions.

If they do homework in their room, the door to the room should be open, and you should check in from time to time. No text messaging, no fooling around. Take the phone and laptop away and eliminate electronics from the room during study time. In short, you want to get rid of all the temptations and distractions.

Give Breaks During Homework Time

Many kids get tired halfway through homework time, and that’s when they start acting up. If your child is doing an hour of homework, have them take a 5-minute break every half-hour so that they can get up, have a snack, and stretch their legs. But don’t allow electronics during the break—electronics are just too distracting.

Monitor the break and ensure that your child gets back to work promptly.

Be sure to encourage your child when they’re discouraged. It’s okay to say things like:

“I know it’s a drag, but think of this—when you get your work done, the rest of the night is yours.”

“Look, if you do your work all week, you’ll have the whole weekend to do what you want.”

Show your child empathy—how many of us truly enjoyed homework every night? It’s work, pure and simple. But your child will be encouraged when they begin to have success with their work.

Help Your Child Get Started With Their Homework

Some kids have a hard time getting assignments started. They may be overwhelmed or unsure where to begin. Or the work may seem too difficult.

There’s a concept I explain in The Total Transformation® child behavior program called hurdle help . If you have a child who has a hard time getting started, spend the first five minutes with them to get them over the first couple of hurdles. Perhaps help them with the first math problem or make sure they understand the assignment.

For many kids who are slow starters, hurdle help is very effective. This doesn’t mean you are doing their homework for them—this is simply extra help designed to get them going on their own.

Help Your Child Manage Long-Term Assignments

If your child has a big, long-term project, then you want to work with them to estimate how much time it’s going to take. Then your child has to work within that time frame. So if your child has a science project, help them manage and structure their time. For instance, if the project is due in 30 days, ask them:

“How much time are you going to spend on it each night?”

They might say, “15 minutes a night,” and you hold them to that.

Don’t assume that your child knows how to manage their time effectively. As adults, we sometimes take for granted the habits we have spent a lifetime developing and forget that our kids are not there yet.

Make Sunday Night a School Night

The way that I structure the weekend is that Sunday night is a school night, not Friday. So if your child has homework for the weekend, and as long as they’re done all their work for the past week, they get Friday and Saturday night off and can do their homework on Sunday night.

If there’s a project or something big to do over the weekend, then work with your child to budget their time. They may have to put some time in on Saturday or Sunday during the day. But other than that, your child should have the weekend off too, just like adults do.

The Weekend Doesn’t Begin Until Overdue Work Is Done

If your child has overdue homework, their weekend shouldn’t begin until those assignments are done. In other words, Friday night is a homework night if their week’s work is not complete.

Believe me, this is a highly effective consequence for kids because it creates a great incentive to get their work done. Indeed, each minute they’re doing homework is a minute they could be hanging out with friends or playing video games.

If you can hold to this rule once and deal with the complaining, then next week the homework will be done.

By the way, if they say they can’t do their homework because they didn’t bring their school books home, they should be grounded for the weekend. You can say:

“I don’t want to hear that you can’t do it because you don’t have your books. You’d better call around and find a friend who you can borrow them from. Otherwise, you’ll be staying in this weekend.”

Make Homework a Higher Priority Than Activities

Kids are involved in a lot of after school activities these days. I understand that. But my priority has always been “homework comes first.”

In my opinion, if the homework isn’t done on Monday, then your child shouldn’t go to football on Tuesday. It’s fine if he misses a practice or two. You can say:

“Here’s the deal. We’re not going to football today. You need to get your work done first.”

If your child says, “Well, if I miss a practice, I’m going to get thrown off the team,” You can say:

“Well, then make sure your work is complete. Otherwise, you’re not going to practice. That’s all there is to it.”

I personally don’t put football, soccer, or any other extracurricular activities above homework and home responsibilities. I don’t believe parents should be going from soccer to karate to basketball with their kids while homework and school responsibilities are being neglected.

Use Rewards for Schoolwork, Not Bribes

Most kids get personal satisfaction out of getting good grades and completing their work, and that’s what we’re aiming for. Nevertheless, it’s important to reinforce positive behavior, and that may mean offering an incentive for getting good grades. For instance, my son knew that he would get a certain reward for his performance if he got all B’s or above. The reward was an incentive to do well.

One of the shortcuts we take as parents is to bribe our kids rather than rewarding them for performance. It can be a subtle difference. A reward is something that is given after an achievement. A bribe is something you give your child after negotiating with them over something that is already a responsibility.

If you bribe your child to do their homework or to do anything else that is an expected responsibility, then your child will come to expect something extra just for behaving appropriately. Bribes undermine your parental authority as kids learn that they can get things from you by threatening bad behavior. Bribes put your child in charge of you.

The appropriate parental response to not meeting a responsibility is a consequence, not a bribe. A bribe says, “If you do your homework, I will extend your curfew by an hour.” In contrast, a consequence says, “If you don’t do your homework, you’re grounded until it’s finished.” Never bribe your kids to do what they’re expected to do.

Use Effective Consequences

When giving consequences, be sure they’re effective consequences. What makes an effective consequence? An effective consequence motivates your child to good behavior. They put you back in control and teach your child how to problem-solve, giving your child the skills needed to be successful.

An effective consequence looks like this:

“If you fall below a B average, then you can no longer study in your room and must study at the kitchen table until you get your average back to a B.”

For the child who prefers to study in their room, this is an effective consequence.

Another effective consequence would be the following:

“If you choose not to study during the scheduled time, you will lose your electronics for the night. Tomorrow, you’ll get another chance to use them.”

And the next day, your child gets to try again to earn the privilege of electronics. Short-term consequences like this are very effective. Just don’t take away this privilege for more than a day as your child will have no incentive to do better the next time.

For more on consequences, read the article on how to give effective consequences to your child .

Be Prepared to Let Your Child Fail

Failure should be an option, and sometimes you just have to let your child fail . Parents often do their kids a disservice when they shield them from the consequences of their actions. If your child chooses not to study enough and they get a failing grade, that’s the natural consequence for their behavior. And they should experience the discomfort that results from their behavior.

Let me be clear. If you interfere and try to get your child’s teacher to change their grade, your child will learn the wrong lesson. Your child will learn that if they screw up enough, Mom and Dad will take care of them. And they don’t learn their math or science or whatever it is they failed.

To be sure, failing is a hard lesson, but it’s the right lesson when your child fails. And it’s not the end of the world. In fact, for many kids, it’s what turns them around.

Don’t Fight with Your Child Over Homework

Don’t get sucked into arguments with your child about homework. Make it very clear that if they don’t do their homework, then the next part of their night does not begin. Keep discussions simple. Say to your child:

“Right now is homework time. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can have free time.”

Say this in a supportive way with a smile on your face. Again, it’s important not to get sucked into fights with your child. Remember, you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. If your child refuses to do his or her work, then calmly give the consequence that you established for not doing homework.

Also, trying to convince your child that grades are important is a losing battle. You can’t make your child take school as seriously as you do. The truth is, they don’t typically think that way. To get your child to do homework, focus on their behavior, not their motivation. Rather than giving a lecture, just maintain the system that enables them to get their work done. Often, the motivation comes after the child has had a taste of success, and this system sets them up for that success.

Stay Calm When Helping Your Child With Their Homework

It’s important to be calm when helping your child with their homework. Don’t argue about the right answer for the math problem or the right way to do the geography quiz. If you get frustrated and start yelling and screaming at your child, this sets a negative tone and won’t help them get the work done. It’s better to walk away than it is to engage in an argument, even when you’re just trying to be helpful.

For couples, it may be that one of you is more patient and acceptable to your child. Let that person take on the homework monitoring responsibilities. And don’t take it personally if it isn’t you.

Remember, if you can’t stay calm when helping your child, or if you find that your help is making the situation worse, then it’s better not to help at all. Find someone else or talk to the teacher about how your child can get the help they need. And try not to blame your child for the frustration that you feel.

It’s Your Child’s Homework, Not Yours

Remember that your child is doing the homework as a school assignment. The teacher will ultimately be the judge of how good or bad, correct or incorrect the work is. You’re not responsible for the work itself; your job is to guide your child. You can always make suggestions, but ultimately it’s your child’s job to do their assignments. And it’s the teacher’s job to grade them.

Know the Teachers and the Assignments

Build good relationships with your child’s teachers. Meet with the teachers at the beginning of the school year and stay in touch as the year progresses. Your relationships with your child’s teachers will pay off if your child begins to have problems.

And if your child does have problems, then communicate with their teachers weekly. If they’re not handing in their work on time, ask the teachers to send you any assignments that they didn’t get done each week. Many schools have assignments available online, which is a big help for parents. Just don’t rely on your child to give you accurate information. Find out for yourself.

The bottom line is that you want to hold your child accountable for doing their work, and you can only do that if you know what the work is. If you keep yourself informed, then you won’t be surprised when report cards come out.

Work with your child on a system to keep track of assignments. I recommend an old-fashioned paper calendar simply because we already have too many distracting electronics in our lives—experiment and use what works best for your child.

Finally, try to see your child’s teachers as your allies. In my experience, most teachers are dedicated and caring, but I realize that this isn’t always the case. So, for your child’s sake, do your best to find a way to work with their teachers.

If You Think Your Child Might Have a Learning Disability

Kids are expected to do some difficult work, and your child may struggle. If your child is having an especially hard time, talk with their teacher. Ask if it’s typical for your child to be struggling in this area.

In some cases, the teacher may recommend testing to see if your child has a learning disability. While this can be hard to hear as a parent, it’s important to find out so that you can make the necessary adjustments.

If it turns out that your child does have a learning disability, then you want to get an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) set up with the school.

Most kids don’t enjoy homework, and for some, it will always be a struggle. Our children all have different strengths and abilities, and while some may never be excellent students, they might be great workers, talented artists, or thoughtful builders.

I have to admit that dealing with my son’s homework was one of my least favorite experiences as a parent. It was overwhelming at times. Often, I just wasn’t equipped to offer the help he needed.

Our son struggled with a learning disability, which made the work feel unending at times. My husband James was much better at helping him, so he took on this responsibility. But even with this division of labor, we had to make adjustments to our schedules, our lives, and our expectations to make sure our son did his homework as expected.

Life would be easier if all children were self-motivated students who came home, sat down, and dug into their homework without being asked. This is hardly the case, though. Therefore, you need to set up a system that is right for your child, and it’s going to be easier for some kids than for others.

We’re trying to raise our kids to be responsible and accountable for their homework. And we’re trying to avoid fighting with them over it every night. When I had parents in my office, I would take these concepts and show them how they could make it work for their families in their own homes. The families I worked with were able to turn the nightly homework struggle around successfully time and time again.

Related content: The Homework Battle: How to Get Children to Do Homework

Empowering Parents Podcast: Apple, Spotify

About Janet Lehman, MSW

Janet Lehman, MSW, has worked with troubled children and teens for over 30 years. A veteran social worker, she specializes in child behavior issues — ranging from anger management and oppositional defiance to more serious criminal behavior in teens. She is co-creator of The Total Transformation® Program , The Complete Guide To Consequences™ , Getting Through To Your Child™ , and Two Parents One Plan™ .

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Hello, my grandson recently moved with me from another state. He is currently in 8th grade (but should be in 9th). He basically failed the last 2 years and was promoted. I would say he is at a 6th grade level. It's a daily fight with him to do his homework. He won't even try. I know a lot of this is because no one has ever made him do his homework before. I thought he would just have to get in a routine of doing it. He's been in school for a month now and its a fight every single day after school. I have lost all the patience I had. I am tired of being a broken record and being the "bad guy". I don't want to give up on him and send him back to his mom, where I know he will never graduate. I have made so many sacrifices to get him here, but I am literally at my wits end with this. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I didn't think it was going to be this hard.

My rule is homework after school. If he comes home and does his homework after school, it was easier for him to complete. That lasted a week and a half. Now, he just sits there and does nothing. Does anyone have any suggestions? I couldn't live with myself if I sent him back and he became nothing but a drop out. I know I am not one to have patience, and I am trying but at the same time, I am almost over it. I don't like going to bed crying and knowing that he is crying too. I am open to all suggestions. Please and thank you.

I'm so sorry you are facing these struggles with your grandson. We here from many caregivers in similar situations, so you're not alone in your frustration. We have several articles that offer helpful tips for managing these homework struggles, which can be found here: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article-categories/child-behavior-problems/school-homework/

We appreciate you reaching out and wish you all the best moving forward. Be sure to check back and let us know how things are going.

Jessicar Thank you for this article and strategies. I echo many of the frustrations expressed by other parents here, including my opinion (as an educator) that homework should not exist. I agree that teachers and parents are in a struggle about which adult is responsible for supporting the child in getting More homework done. The best thing for my son was a free "homework club" in fourth and fifth grade where a teacher monitored completion of homework. He has nothing like this in middle school so far. Where I really disagree with the article is about extracurricular activities. Kids need physical activity through sports! They need enrichment beyond academics through the arts, theater, music. Many families send their children to religious, language, and/or cultural programs after school. If I sat in school all day, I'd want to move my body and interact with others too. The solution is not removing extracurricular activities that are healthy or motivating or valued. The solution is for schools to limit homework. Given that there is still homework as a reality--I'd like advice on when to have child do homework AFTER sports or extracurricular activity. When is the best time for homework if the goal is to go to bed on time (in my house in bed around 9 pm)? Between extracurricular and dinner--when the kid is tired? After dinner? My child is in 7th grade and I still can't figure it out. What do others do/think?

I found school to be extremely boring, as a teen. Looking back I realize that I hadn't found the work challenging enough. Personally, I struggled with this all through high school. I was completely disinterested in school, as a result.

I noticed that there wasn't a section addressing situations where children, who are motivated by challenges, do poorly as a result of boredom.

I enjoy reading many of the articles; even those which don't necessarily apply to my current situations with my child. One never knows what obstacles or challenges one may come across. Thank you

Here's what I know. Correcting our children when their behavior is displeasing is what most parents focus on. Without a lot of explanation I'm going to try to get you to change your focus. All children have 4 emotional needs:

1. A sense of belonging

2. A sense of personal power

3. To be heard and understood

4. Limits and boundaries

Rather than focus on your child's behavior, focus on meeting these needs. Meet the needs, change the behavior. There a 25 ways to meet these needs. One of the most effective is to spend regular one-on-one time with your child doing what your child wants to do. How do you spell love? T-I-M-E. It seems counter-intuitive, but just try it for a week. Do this for 1/2 hour every day for a week. See what happens.

Frustrated Confused Parent, I went through similar challenges with my son when he was in high school. As a grade school student his grades were always B and higher. The changes began when his mother and I separated; my son was 12yo. Prior to our separation I was the one who maintained, and enforced the habit of completing his assignments before extracurricular activities could be enjoyed. His mother never felt she had the patience or intelligence to assist him with his homework assignments and upon our separation she completely ignored his school work. Although he continued to follow the structure I had established through grade school, he soon began to realize that no one was showing interest any longer and, thus, began shirking school related responsibilities. My son and I were, and still are, close. I am certain that the separation likely had some affect on him, but it was more than that. He was reaching his teens and becoming more self-aware. Friends began to play a more integral and influential part in his life. Unfortunately my son's grades began slipping as he reached his early teens. For me, this was extremely frustrating since I was aware of how intelligent he was and of what he was capable. After many aggravating, lengthy, heated, and unyielding conversations with his mother about maintaining the structure established through grade school, it became clear she was incapable or simply unwilling. Essentially, he was on his own. Of course I would do whatever I could to help. For starters, I facilitated a transfer to a Charter School, realizing that he needed more individualized attention than that which a public school could provide. It seemed as though he was getting 'lost in the shuffle'.

Unfortunately the damage had already been done. After two years under his mother's lack of tutelage my son had developed some poor habits.

He struggled with maintaining good grades throughout his high school career. By 'maintaining good grades' I mean that he would take a grading of 45 in math and bring it to a 70 within three weeks of the end of a marking period. He ALWAYS passed, though. He would somehow get his grades to or even above passing by the end of the period. As I began to see this, I began to have more faith knowing that when the going got tough he would step up and take charge. It also indicated that he did well with what might perceive as an impossible goal. So, I started to have faith that he'd find his way.

He has since graduated, he has a good-paying job, and he is beginning school to become an electrician within the next month or so. In two weeks he moves into his own apartment, also. He's never done drugs, never drank alcohol, and never started smoking cigarettes. All of which I have done as a teen and well into my adult years. I am in recovery. My son is aware of my own struggles. Most importantly, I believe, is that he has a complete understanding that we all struggle in our own ways. Working through the difficulties, challenges, and obstacles are what makes us stronger and it's our compassion for others, and ourselves, which help us grow into decent adults.

I came to realize that the 'grades' he received in school had nothing to do with the amazing adult he's become; it was literally everything else.

NanaRound2 My 6 year old grandson has just taken 2 hours to write a list and write 3 sentences. He thinks if the words were shorter it wouldn't take so long. Already went through this with his dad. I celebrated more than he did when he graduated. Can't drag More another kid through school. Losing my mind and like the previous comment have tried EVERYTHING.

Yeah -been there, done that. Doesn't work. At least not for my child. I've read every *actual* parenting book out there ( You know, the books publishes by Harvard & Stanford professors who've been studying parenting and child psychology for the past 30 years?) ... and you're all missing something - because I've tried it all.

My kid DGAF. This was almost painful to read. "oh, yup - tried that one. That one too. Oh, hey - I've tried that as well."

This is so frustrating; tell me something I haven't already tried 50 times.

Psych Fan I'm with you my sophomore son DGAF . I tried so much stuff even set time stuff and he just doesn't go get his work out. He's 5'9 so I am 5'1 and I can't move him to do stuff . All he does is debate with me that More Grades really don't matter that he's like I'm just going to get D's because I'm not going to care to do better because I do not like school. He doesn't understand why I don't approve of D grades because I know he has better potential but he's like D grades I will pass and get my diploma .

The first thing on the list is to try and stay calm. While doing homework with my children I'm usually very calm. When I do get frustrated I'll leave the room for a moment, wash my face, and take a few deep breaths until I calm down. Or I'll make hot chocolate to help calm my nerves. It's not a perfect system, but what is?

Number two is to set clear expectations around homework time and responsibilities. We have a standard homework time at our house, with a timer and everything. If our kids meet the homework time goal they'll be rewarded later in the evening with family time. Each of our kids know their roles and responsibilities in the house whether the work gets done before dinner or not.

Number three is a relationship with the teachers, each of whom e-mail us, some two or three times a day. Contact with them has never been better. They're teachers are all pretty awesome too.

Number Four, play the parental role most useful to your child...I have three kids. One needs no help at all, one needs minor help and advisement, while the third requires constant supervision or their e-mail might 'accidentally' open up. This we've provided through double teaming. One parent works with them until the other gets home, then they switch while the other goes to make dinner.

Five, keep activities similar with all your kids. We all live on the same schedule, if one of them finishes homework early they get the reward of extra quiet reading time-my kids are ALL book worms.

Six, Set up a structured time and place for homework. Done. Homework table with a supplies basket right in the middle of the room. Big enough for all of them to work at and then some, it's an octagonal table which my husband built. I also always have their 'homework snacks' waiting for them when they get home, and I usually try to make it healthy-even if they don't realize it.

Seven, start early. My kids have been doing 'homework' with me since they were babies, and (as I pointed out to them yesterday) they loved it. We'd learn about cooking, dinosaurs, amphibians, insects, math, English, chemistry, even the periodic table came up. We'd do work pages every day and they'd love it.

Eight, hurdle help, works in area's like math, but not so much with history or English when the problems aren't as straight forward. But we do use this method where it applies.

Nine, choose the best person for the job. I'm best at English and my husband at math. When I get stuck on math I know who to go to, and I'll even study in my spare time to get better at it so I can be more useful in case he has to work late. That being said, we both devote a lot of our time to helping our kids with their homework.

Ten, show empathy and support. Done, not only can I relate to my kids, but I've pointed out that not getting their work done will make them feel bad bad enough, and that that's why we should work on getting it done together, so they have something to be proud of.

Use positive reinforcement and incentives. :) There was this one time I sat my son down at a table with a work book about 400 pages long. He was young, not even in school yet. Next to the book I placed a giant bag of M&Ms. I told him for every page he got done, he could have one m&m. About ten minutes later he finished the workbook and grinned up at me. When I found out he'd finished the book, I quickly checked it to see if it was done well, and then pushed the bag of M&M's towards him and told him he could just have it...Now they get rewarded in video games and computer time...

It seems that according to this article I'm doing everything right...So why is my child still struggling with homework/classwork? They've literally just refused to do it. Have seriously just sat in their chair without saying a word and stared at the table, or desk, or screen- as the majority of work is now done on computers...I'll sit with them, ask them if they need help, try to help them with problems. They will tell me the right answer to the questions being asked and then refuse to write it down. I feel like I've done everything I can as a parent to help them, but despite all my efforts, it isn't working. So...when all of these things fail, when a parent has done everything right, and there is nothing more they can do short of taking the pen or pencil into their own hands and doing it themselves, (but that would be cheating their child out of an education) what then should the parents do?

When our kids don't get their homework done before dinner, they're sent down the hall where it's quiet so they can finish it at the desk there, while the other kids have family time. They are told to come and get us if they really need help after that. But at this point it's like ostracizing our child for not doing homework.

I agree with most of what's on this page, and our family lifestyle reflects that, but I will disagree with one thing it said. It is our job to help our kids and be supportive of them yes, to nurture them and help them get the skills they need to take care of themselves and their home when they're older...but it is not our job to do the teachers work for them, they get paid for that. Some days it seems like that's what's expected of parents. Some even send home classwork if the kids don't finish it in class. Which means the child now has even more work to do on top of their homework. Though I understand that the teachers want the child to finish the lesson, and were the homework not a factor I probably wouldn't mind it as much. I don't even mind them sending home study guides to help kids before tests (Which is what homework was originally) but to send home overwhelming piles of work each night for parents to help kids with, (Each child with different homework so that parents need to bounce from history, to math to English) it's unreasonable. When teachers send home homework, they're dictating what the parents can do with the little time they have with their child. Which is wrong. We once had to cancel a trip to a science museum because our child had too much homework to finish and there was no way to make it in time and get their homework done. They could have had an amazing educational experience which would overall help them get excited about learning with new and fun tactile experiences, but their schedule (and therefore our schedule) was being dictated by the teacher while they weren't even in class. Of course I try not to talk bad about homework in front of my children, because that would make it even more difficult to get them to do it. But children NEED family time, they NEED to be kids. To be allowed to get away from their work and be themselves, to go outside and play with their friends, or even go out to dinner once in a while with their parents. Homework has made it difficult to grow a relationship with our children beyond the confines of what the teachers are dictating. It's violating in some ways and frustrating in others. It's grown into this monstrous thing which it was never meant to become, and the funny part about it is that most studies done on it show that schools who don't have homework have higher test scores and graduation rates. Not to mention better mental health rates. Studies also show, that after a child is taught something, they'll only really learn it after a good nights sleep, and that no amount of homework will change that. Sleep is what our bodies need to absorb important information we learn throughout the day, so staying up late with homework might even be harmful to a child's education...

Sorry I guess that turned into a bit of a rant...In the end I was hoping to find something useful in this article, something I hadn't tried that might work, but I've done it all, and will probably continue to do all of it in hopes that consistency might be the key...It's just that even after years of already doing All of this consistently, it's still not working. It's as if my child has made a conscious decision Not to work. He's not unintelligent, he understands it, he's even been tested and found to have an above average ability to learn. He just not doing it..So what now? What more can I do to actually inspire him to do the work?

AshumSmashum Out of all of this, most of which I've read and tried a billion times, your comment hit deeper. My son scores in the 99% on tests but cannot sit down and do the simplest homework. He does have autism and adhd so when he freezes up on homework, despite More knowing it, I'm lost at how to help him get it done. He knows the work so why does he need to show it with 20 math problems after school that take forever to complete one? (whatever honors algebra stuff he's in, I was lucky to learn division lol) He has a high IQ and excels in all subjects and yet is being tutored, so far, in English just to get the work done. I'm so done with the emotional toll it takes on me and him at home. Nobody wants to go to work for 8 hours and come home and do the same for another 5 so why do we think our kids want to come home and do more classwork? I'm so appreciative of your comment!

JC Hi Barb, thank you for bringing this up! My son sounds a lot like you...and he really wants to get good grades and go to an Ivy League school. What could someone do to help an 8th grader in the moment of struggle, while making sure they don't get more More anxious from falling behind for the rest of the year?

Tb Hi Barb, I'm the parent of an 8th grader and I want to thank you for the comment you left here. You helped me look at the deeper issues and I really appreciate that. I'm going to approach the conversation with my son differently, thanks to you. Thank More you!

My 11 year old daughter, Alice, has always helped her 7 year old sister, Chole, with homework. But just recently Alice has been giving Chole the wrong answers. We have been trying to get her to give Chole the correct answers

but she always yells at us. She has a baby sister 2 months named Ray and ever since Ray was born she has been giving Chole wrong answers. I once overheard her and Kevin, my husband, talking about how she felt left out. She came and talked to me and said exactly what she had told Kevin. She also told me she has been getting bad grades and doesn't get her homework. Me and Alice talked and she said "All the cool New York girls get straight A's and ever since I started getting D's and F's they said I wasn't cool anymore." We started having her grandparents come over and she would yell, hit, scream, and talk back to them. She is a great student but she spends all of her time on her phone. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even at school she is on her phone. All I'm asking is that 1. How do I make her stop screaming, yelling, hitting, and back talking? 2. How do I make her feel cool and get A's again?and 3. How do I get her off her phone?

sounds like you have a number of concerns around your daughter’s behavior, and

it certainly can feel overwhelming. We would suggest https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/its-never-too-late-7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively/ and focusing on just one or two of the most serious, to get

started. Behaviors like verbal or physical abuse would be of top priority,

while behaviors like https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-walk-away-from-a-fight-with-your-child-why-its-harder-than-you-think/ we would recommend ignoring, and not giving it any power or control.

Empowering Parents author Sara Bean offers some great insight into the reason

for poor child behavior in her article, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-surprising-reason-for-bad-child-behavior-i-cant-solve-problems/.It sounds like your daughter is struggling to

find more effective ways to solve the problems she is facing, and the result is

the acting out behavior. Keep in mind, you can’t make your daughter do anything, but what you can do is help her to

learn better tools to solve whatever problems may come her way. Best of luck to

you and your family as you continue to work on this.

Emma Reed Alice also swears at school and she swears to teachers. Please we have tried everything, even her sister at age 18. What have we done wrong?

Being away from loved ones when they are struggling can be

distressing. It may help to know that it’s not unusual to see changes in

behavior as kids move from the tweens into adolescence, as Janet Lehman

explains in the article https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/adolescent-behavior-changes-is-your-child-embarrassed-by-you/. Normally responsible

kids can start to push back against meeting expectations and disrespect towards

parents and other authority figures can become quite common. The behavior you

describe isn’t OK; it is normal though. I can hear how much you want to help

your daughter and granddaughter

work through these challenges. If your daughter is open to it, you could share

some Empowering Parents articles with her, such as the one above and this one, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/my-childs-behavior-is-so-bad-where-do-i-begin-how-to-coach-your-child-forward/.

We appreciate you writing in. Best of luck to you and your family moving

forward. Take care.

mphyvr Thanks for all these "strategies", they might work for some parents, but quite simplistic and just plain old common sense for more defiant kids... Thanks anyways and hope this article helps many.

Psych Fan I'm a mom of a sophomore he's also a swearing boy and will have quite a tantrum even with consequences of take away all he does is sleep. He doesn't like school says school is a waste of time and that grades won't matter in his adulthood . He says More it over n over about how schooling won't help him in the future as I go it will help you do good on a ACT and SAT he is like getting good scores on those are only good if your going to college. He also is like jobs won't look at my grades . I tell him homework teaches him responsibility once a job sees your amount of effort in school your going to have a heck of time getting hired. I even ask him how is he going to succeed to work real well at a job when he doesn't work hard at school he goes I don't need to work hard at school but I will need to work hard at a job.

dcastillo68 If it was only this simple, but, in reality it is not.  Middle school syndrome is the worst.  Kids don't want to be labeled as nerds so they do everything to try to fail.  I went through that with my first born, and now again with my youngest.  It is More very frustrating when I was the total opposite when I was growing up.  I cared about my grades an I took it for granted thinking they will feel the same way.  Now seeing how they are happy with just getting by is really frustrating to me because I am such an over achiever.  They didn't even get an ounce of this.  Very very frustrating.  And I wish I have never invited video games to this household.  That is all they want to do.  I keep using this an incentive to bring them back on track, but as soon as I give them their games back, they are back to their old habits.  Sorry, but I can't wait until they are finished with school and hopefully moving out of state to hopefully a college career.  I may change my mind later, but at the moment, this is just how I feel.  It is very hard too when you don't get any help.  I find today's teacher to be lazy and pushing on more responsibility to the parents.  Who has time to do a full day's of work, only to do additional work at home?  okay, enough venting.

@frustrated single dad Diane Lewis Hi there - I have a son adopted out of foster care.  He is 6 1/2 and has been in 5 homes.  He is totally the same!  They learn this behavior and are incredibly manipulative.  They are so insanely smart.  I worry about exactly the same thing.  They turn on and off the behavior depending on who they are with and what they want.

We did Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT) at the Mailman Center (Jackson Hospital Miami).  It made a huge difference in the short-term.  They basically taught us to be full-time behavioral therapists with my son.  The effects wore off after a few months as my son adapted and found ways to circumvent the consequences techniques taught to us.  He is like the Borg!  I am going back to get more ideas on how to adapt and change and stay one step ahead of my son.  The gals there are really smart!

So, that being said - we have to be Jean Luc Picard and constantly change and adapt and outsmart them - just like changing the phasers on a laser gun!  It is bloody hard work.  And, harder the older they get -

eg.  He drops like a dead weight - throws his book bag and will not get in the car to go to school - response - next morning I headed it off by calling out to the kids "LAST ONE IN THE CAR IS A ROTTEN EGG!"  This has worked for 2 days now.  

Wont do homework 2 nights ago - response - "ooh I like doing word puzzles - Im going to do them and win" - this worked one night but not the next - he just then just left me to do his work - so I have told his teacher that there will be no school party for Alex next week unless he gets his homework finished - we will see if this works.....

It is totally exhausting and you have to be on your A game all the time.  Im telling you this but - I have to tell myself this too.  We have to stay really fit (like cross fit) and work out like a marine.  We have to be very disciplined with ourselves - a healthy body is a healthy mind - we cannot let up at all.  We have to stay calm at all times (again self discipline).  

Im always looking for concrete reactions to situations with my son.  Like I said - the entire day goes on like this with everything except what he wants to do.  Wont get dressed in the morning - put out his clothes in dining room where there are no distractions or toys - tell him that if he gets dressed and ready for school quickly - he can spend the left over time on the trampoline.  That worked this morning.

STAY STRONG MY BROTHER IN ARMS!!!  If you can get into a PCIT program - do it.

Love to you - R

My child comes home and says he doesn't have homework, does something easy to make it look like he's doing his homework, or says he did it during free time in class.  How do you combat this without going to the school everyday?  Neither my husband nor I can do More this because of work, and the we asked the teacher's if it was possible to send us the assignments via email or let us come pick them up once a week with no cooperation.  He is a very smart kid and gets "A's' on the work he does, but he is failing all of his core classes because he won't do homework.

@atmywitsend  , my child is the same way.  I'm at my wits end.  I feel like I'm a failure as a parent because I thought I taught my smart kid to succeed - and instead she's lying to me.

Psych Fan NinaMays I'm with the same feelings as my son can be above a C student but he choose to go oh I rather just get F's on this work than to actually get at least a B or A on these many assignments.. I ask him why he chooses F's More in many assignments when he could get a grade to bring his grades up and me telling me he's not being his full potential as by making him not do his work how can I truly believe he's going to be successful and he's like I have big brains . Then I'm like why not show me by doing your school work he goes I don't need do that and I show you of my big brains by telling you school isn't important. Telling me I am brainwashed. He is a sophomore in high school.

FRUSTRATED PARENT NinaMays This is my reality too - "relationship" with teachers is difficult when they won't co-operate with homework expectations, or follow up email - the schools complain that kids are on the internet - yet its them providing wifi passwords - so kids are playing in class - lying about More homework - and since I'm not in the class, I have no idea until report cards surface.

Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.

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• 5. When Your Child Has Problems at School: 6 Tips for Parents
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Because differences are our greatest strength

Should I stop supervising my teen’s homework?

By Jim Rein, MA

Q. My son is in 10th grade, and making sure he does his homework has always been a big struggle. I feel like I’m constantly nagging him. Would it be better for me to stop supervising his homework and let him deal with the consequences at school? What’s the best way for me to keep an eye on how much he’s doing without making him feel like he’s still a little kid?

A. While this is a very common issue, there is no one answer that will fit every situation. Perhaps a better way to approach this question is to start by asking yourself whether your son has enough supports in place to enable him to do his homework on his own.

Many children with learning and thinking differences avoid homework because it’s too difficult and reinforces their low self-esteem. It’s also common for kids to have trouble figuring out how to get started on an assignment. Or they have a hard time coming up with a plan for completing it.

No matter what the situation, communication with the school is crucial. Can your son get tips from the teaching staff on how to start or finish his homework? If he got more help at school, you could be more of a cheerleader at home instead of a police officer.

There are also several changes you can make at home that might make homework less of a battle . If your son has attention issues, he may have to exert tremendous effort at school to stay focused. Building in time to exercise or unwind before he gets started on his homework could be helpful.

Encourage him to schedule break times during homework that allow for movement. This can help get his juices flowing and make it easier for him to concentrate when he sits down again.

A homework station can help him encounter fewer distractions. His work area should be separated as much as possible from siblings, pets, TV and text messages.

Breaking assignments into chunks can help your son see that each task has a beginning, middle, and end. This can reduce his frustration. It can also motivate him to stick with it.

Also, keep in mind that 10th grade is often when students start thinking about what they want to do after high school, such as going to college or getting a good job. You can relate these long-term goals to the importance of today’s homework.

There are other ways you can set the stage for homework success. But perhaps the most important is talking with the school and understanding what kinds of homework assistance are available there. Help your child view these options as positive supports rather than as negative consequences. Make sure you praise him for any progress he’s making.

And lastly, if your child can’t get enough homework support at school, consider getting a tutor. This could help him develop strategies for tasks like getting started with his assignments. You can always ask his teachers for feedback and suggestions regarding his performance at school.

Avoid being critical of his teachers. Instead, ask them how you can support what they’re doing. And be sure to share any strategies that are working at home. Forming a partnership with the school — and with your child — can make the high school years go more smoothly for everyone.

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He _____ his homework yet

• Thread starter cfu507
• Start date Aug 18, 2007

Senior Member

• Aug 18, 2007
• hasn't finished
• didn't finish

In colloquial English, I don't think #2 is wrong. Suppose one asked the question: "Did John finish his homework yet?" An appropriate answer might be, "No, he didn't finish his homework yet." Perhaps a purist might say that the word "yet" precludes option 2, but I think this is a little too "pure" for most native speakers.  

• Aug 19, 2007

anothersmith

Number 2 sounds bad to me, for the reasons Trisia stated. Perhaps I'm in the minority of AE speakers, but I never say "did . . . yet?" or "didn't . . . yet."  

anothersmith said: Number 2 sounds bad to me, for the reasons Trisia stated. Perhaps I'm in the minority of AE speakers, but I never say "did . . . yet?" or "didn't . . . yet." Click to expand...

anothersmith and Dimcl, So, you've never said to anyone, "Didn't you eat yet?"* I'm surprised. In my neck of the woods, it would sound pompous to say, "Haven't you eaten yet?" to family members, for example. *And "Did you eat yet?" (which sounds like "Jeet yet?") is the pure Pittsburghese that I learned in the cradle!  

Joelline said: anothersmith and Dimcl, So, you've never said to anyone, "Didn't you eat yet?"* I'm surprised. In my neck of the woods, it would sound pompous to say, "Haven't you eaten yet?" to family members, for example. *And "Did you eat yet?" (which sounds like "Jeet yet?") is the pure Pittsburghese that I learned in the cradle! Click to expand...

Dimcl said: No, absolutely not, Joelline. In fact, I've heard it when in the U.S. and cringe every time (Waitress: "Did you know what you want to eat?" ). Nothing personal, but.... arrgghh! Click to expand...

Thank you all So... if I want to use "yet" in my sentence, then I have to use past perfect. I have only one problem (which is only mine). I thought that present perfect is for something that happened in the past and I don't care when exactly it happened (for example, I've eaten in this restaurant before). But I guess I'm wrong (according to Trisia's explanation) and I will read about it later. Thank you.  

• Aug 22, 2007

cfu507 said: So... if I want to use "yet" in my sentence, then I have to use past perfect . Click to expand...

cfu507 said: I thought that present perfect is for something that happened in the past and I don't care when exactly it happened (for example, I've eaten in this restaurant before) Click to expand...

• Something that hasn't happened yet = the kids finished eating
• something that still goes on = they're still not finished with their meal.

sound shift

Perhaps the source that says option no. 2 is wrong is British. "He didn't finish his homework yet" is not BE, though it may become standard before long through the copying of US practice.  

Write in English at your best

Sign in to ludwig.

For families of Children's Minnesota

Refuses to do homework, related behaviors, what to do:.

Self-Talk. Say to yourself, "I wish my child wanted to do his homework. But I can be calm when he fights doing it. It's his job to do it and mine to encourage his learning how."

Empathy. Tell yourself, "I need to know what my child is thinking and feeling to help him be motivated to do his homework. When I put myself in his shoes, I'll be able to help him better. Sometimes I don't want to do work around the house or on my job, and I always have to figure out why before I can be motivated to do it."

Teach. Tell yourself, "I can help my child learn the SOCS method of problem-solving to help him understand the (S)situation, the (O)options he has for solving the problem, the (C)consequences of choosing each of those options and the (S)best solution. This is a good problem-solving strategy for children to use when they can understand the meaning of these words-situation, options, consequences and solution-- that will be useful throughout their lives.

Make a Daily Routine. Routines are valuable tools that help us all stay organized, so we can get done all the things we need to do. Routines also help to motivate us to get our work done in a focused way. A homework routine, for example, could be: Right after dinner is now a quiet time. All homework will be done during that time. If a child believably claims not to have homework, he can read during quiet time because it is a time when all family members are reading or working on a project.

Make Rules. A simple rule could be: TV and all electronic devices will be off during homework. To enforce the rule, make sure all portable devices are off and are put in a place away from the homework site. A chore rule could be: All chores will be done and inspected before devices can be used or the child can have playtime.

Use SOCS to Support Your Child's Problem-Solving. When your child won't do his homework, talk with him about what he's feeling. Is he upset about something going on in the class? Does he not understand the assignment? Is he worried that his teacher and you expect him to never make a mistake? When you know what the situation is-what your child is thinking and feeling-you can help him understand the options he has for solving the problem, the consequences of choosing each of those options and the best solution. This SOCS method: Situation, Options, Consequences and Solution is a caring, supportive way to build a problem-solving partnership with your child that helps him learn how to be resilient and that he can cope with a problem by thinking it through logically to come up with a solution that works for him.

Check Homework Assignments. As a "family manager", your task is to know what your child's job is, and in this case it's homework. When you know the assignments, you will know whether they have been completed. In addition, you can judge the quality of the homework that has been done. If your child says he has no homework, it's possible to check the school website. Most schools now post homework for each class in each grade. You are not responsible for doing the homework or even knowing what the homework is. But it is important for your child to know that you care and want to know-just as you would share a work project of your own.

Involve Your Child in the Plan. If your child is doing poorly because of incomplete homework assignments, poorly done work, failure to turn in the assignments on time, or any of the other issues that you know are resulting in grades that are below your child's ability, ask him what he plans to do about the problems. If he says, "I'll try harder," don't accept that as an answer. Instead ask, "What's your plan?" and help him pull together a detailed plan to correct the problem: Do all homework immediately after school. Parent checks it. Put it in notebook which goes in the backpack. Turn it in immediately in class. I'll correct my mistakes as soon as I get them." Now, that's a plan. Again, make this your child's plan, not yours. He is responsible for the plan and the work. Here is an example. Ask your child for his ideas!

Check Chore Completion. Most assigned chores have visible proof of completion. Empty wastebaskets are evidence that the trash chore has been done. A made bed shows that making a bed each morning was done. Fun activities are allowed when all chores are done satisfactorily.

Make a Chore Calendar. In order to ensure that children know their chore assignments, a calendar with chores listed could be posted. Monday: Empty Dishwasher, Tuesday: Empty wastebaskets, Wednesday: Vacuum the family room floor, etc. Each child will then check off the chore on that date when completed.

Use Grandma's Rule. You may have noted that in each case we've cited, the child can have his privileges only after work is done, which is the essence of Grandma's Rule. The when-then contract simply states, "when you have done what you are required to do, then you may do what you want to do." You manage your child's access to all of his privileges, such as electronic devices or play activities.

What not to do:

Don't Nag, Beg, Threaten. These won't teach your child how to get work done when it needs to be done.

Don't Punish for Incomplete Homework or Chores. Grounding and other punishments when things aren't done won't teach your child how to get things done. Punishment encourages lying to avoid the punisher-not what you want to teach.

Don't Take on His Responsibility. If you take the responsibility of getting your child's work done, he will never learn to do it himself. Sitting with him to help him finish his homework won't teach him how to take that responsibility. Doing incomplete chores because it's easier than getting him to do them won't help him learn to be responsible.

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The authors and Raised with Love and Limits Foundation disclaim responsibility for any harmful consequences, loss, injury or damage associated with the use and application of information or advice contained in these prescriptions and on this website. These protocols are clinical guidelines that must be used in conjunction with critical thinking and critical judgment.

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Dear ADDitude: How Can I Help My Child Stop Avoiding Tough Assignments?

“my son avoids assignments when he doesn’t understand the requirements or thinks they are too difficult. he has started lying about upcoming work and tests, avoiding what is overwhelming to him. what can we do”.

ADDitude Answers

Take a step back and figure out why your son is overwhelmed. Maybe there are problems with executive function (organization, time management) or he could be having trouble paying attention at school and is missing important information. Talk to his teachers to see if you can get a handle on why he is struggling.

There are several kinds of accommodations that might help: having an extra set of books at home, having teachers provide you with the upcoming schedule of tests, having teachers supply you with notes from classes or study sheets before tests, a schedule of upcoming homework assignments. Some school districts have such information online, so it is accessible to all students and parents. Your child’s problems are mostly about inattention, so talk with your doctor. If your son is on medication, perhaps he can adjust the dose.

Posted by Eileen Bailey Freelance writer, author specializing in ADHD, anxiety, and autism

A Reader Answers

You sound exactly like me and my 13-year-old, except that mine is not in honors classes. I chose to have him in team-taught classes instead. That means there is a special-ed teacher and a general-ed teacher in each class. The special-ed teacher is the one assigned to him and the one I communicate with. Does your son’s school have that option? Everything is still a struggle, but the work load is not quite so intense. We also have access to an online system that makes it easier for me to access information about assignments. If I can’t find what is needed, I email the special-ed teacher. Can you ask for an IEP meeting to make revisions? Clearly the bad grades are evidence that his disability is impacting his mastery of the curriculum. Good luck!

Posted by kelro

This is EXACTLY what is going on the last few weeks with my seventh grade daughter (EF problems with ADHD and writing disability). And we are a married couple but both work full-time jobs, so starting homework at 5:30 pm (we hope), and meds are worn off by then. Ugh. This is what we are doing to try and survive.

1. We got copies of all her textbooks to keep at home.

[ Free Download: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement ]

2. I got access to the teacher’s calendar for when quizzes and tests are coming up so we aren’t surprised.

3. If I have the last minute notice for tests or quizzes I’m calling the Vice Principal who does disabilities to ask for an extension for a couple days to take the test later. Social studies teacher is an old guy and can’t seem to plan ahead more than a day which is a crying shame.

4. We had a teacher meeting with the vice principal and the disability specialist at the school. They also recommended that teachers give her a copy of their notes, which also gives me something else to review with her before tests. Which reminds me I have to dog them to get notes because none have come home this week.

5. I’ve cried on my BFF’s shoulder twice in the last few weeks over this feeling like I’m a failure as a mom. Especially in our city there are special high school academies that have much better education, and if her grades tank in seventh grade she won’t have a shot at that for high school. I feel the injustice of the whole system for kids who need TIME.

6. I would give my right arm for a school that was self-paced for teaching my kid so she just learned things until she mastered them and then moved on. Seriously considering switching up my job and husband’s job to work from home partial hours and homeschool next year. We already spend 3 hours a day on homework and my kid has no LIFE — how much more could it possibly be? Even if it’s 5-6 hours a day I think we still would be way ahead.

7. Some serious support for my daughter because she says she doesn’t care and the Fs don’t bother her. But they do. So trying to give lots of positive praise for her hard work and give her adult perspective that middle school grades do not define your worth or value to God, family or society. We have some nice role models in our family and church and that really helps.

Posted by vowedmom

We are in the same boat — seventh grade and barely keeping his head above water. My son has to take a 5 mg Ritalin pill after school with a meal so he can concentrate on his homework — wears off after 2 hours but it helps.

These are the tough years — I am ADHD and I didn’t hit my mental and organizational stride until high school, once I had matured a bit. Middle school was tough but those few teachers that care and understand will make the difference to your son now.

[ Why Teens Stop Trying — and Achieving — at School ]

My son has a 504 Plan and he is only allowed to work on homework for so many minutes/hours per night — so homework is limited. And he gets extended time on tests in another room so he isn’t rushing. We work on these accommodations constantly with his counselor. Unfortunately we have to stay on the teachers’ radars and know the expectations. And of course I am a huge advocate of exercise before homework — even a quick run. It clears their brains.

The regular school set-up just isn’t ideal for our kids — they will struggle. Good luck — you are not alone!

Posted by LC2boys

We had the same problem with our son last year as he entered into middle school. One thing you need to remember is this is MIDDLE school. They are teaching them to do things and be responsible on their own, even if that means not passing. I am a control freak momma and it was hard for me to hear those words…I want to do it on my own! But you need to give him a little space and let him try himself. As a parent, if you are not getting the support you need, make a fuss with the school and keep pushing. We finally went to the superintendent of the district before they actually tested him and switched him from a 504 to an IEP. At the very least, make an appointment with the school counselor and let them know of your concerns and request an in-school tutor!

Posted by xzillajjxj

1. Take notes by hand if possible. That is an active process and to get information into working memory you need to involve multiple pathways of information processing in the brain. The more pathways you activate, the more integrated the information (with information already learned) and the likely the information will be stored in long-term memory.

So in other words make learning active — move, talk, write, etc.

2. Sit up front so that you are less likely to “tune out” during class.

3. Get a day to day planner and care it with you everywhere. Schedule when you are going to study with class and then keep to it.

4. Study one minute per year of age. My son is nine, so really his effective studying rate is only about 10 minutes. So he studies for 10 minutes then relaxes for 10-20 minutes, then back to studying.

Finally, let go of previous results on exams. The past is the past and you can’t change it. Set a goal for passing and anything else is gravy. As someone who sits on the interview committee for medical school admissions, we are more impressed when we see a student who struggled academically initially and then figured out what they needed to do to be successful. Makes us think that if they struggle in medical school, they will figure it out.

Posted by faye

[ The High School Study Guide for Teens with ADHD ]

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Biden concedes debate fumbles but declares he will defend democracy. Dems stick by him — for now

President Joe Biden is trying to quell Democratic anxieties over his unsteady showing in his debate with ex-President Donald Trump. Biden appeared to acknowledge the criticism on Friday saying ”I don’t debate as well as I used to.”

On Friday, the day after the first 2024 presidential debate, House Democrats and Republicans weighed in on the performances of President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump.

President Joe Biden, right, and first lady Jill Biden walk off stage after speaking at a campaign rally, Friday, June 28, 2024, in Raleigh, N.C. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

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President Joe Biden speaks during a campaign rally, Friday, June 28, 2024, in Raleigh, N.C. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

President Joe Biden, right, and first lady Jill Biden, left, walk to the stage to speak at a campaign rally, joined in background by Eric Fitts, Friday, June 28, 2024, in Raleigh, N.C. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

President Joe Biden speaks during a presidential debate hosted by CNN with Republican presidential candidate former President Donald Trump, Thursday, June 27, 2024, in Atlanta. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

Republican presidential candidate former President Donald Trump speaks during a presidential debate hosted by CNN with President Joe Biden, Thursday, June 27, 2024, in Atlanta. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

WASHINGTON (AP) — President Joe Biden worked forcefully Friday to quell Democratic anxieties over his unsteady showing in his debate with former President Donald Trump, as elected members of his party closed ranks around him in an effort to shut down talk of replacing him atop the ticket.

Biden’s halting delivery and meandering comments, particularly early in the debate, fueled concerns from even members of his own party that at age 81 he’s not up for the task of leading the country for another four years. It created a crisis moment for Biden’s campaign and his presidency, as members of his party flirted with potential replacements, and donors and supporters couldn’t contain their concern about his showing against Trump.

Biden appeared to acknowledge the criticism during a rally in Raleigh, North Carolina, saying ”I don’t debate as well as I used to.” But he added, “I know how to do this job. I know how to get things done.” Speaking for 18 minutes, Biden appeared far more animated than he had the night before as he excoriated Trump for his “lies” and for waging a campaign aimed at “revenge and retribution.”

“The choice in this election is simple,” Biden said. “Donald Trump will destroy our democracy. I will defend it.”

He added, alluding to his candidacy, “When you get knocked down, you get back up.”

What to know about the 2024 Election

• Democracy: American democracy has overcome big stress tests since 2020. More challenges lie ahead in 2024.
• AP’s Role: The Associated Press is the most trusted source of information on election night, with a history of accuracy dating to 1848. Learn more.
• Read the latest: Follow AP’s complete coverage of this year’s election.

First lady Jill Biden, at a Friday evening fundraiser in New York City, said her husband told her after the debate, “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t feel that great.” But she seconded the president in stressing that he tells the truth and he bounces back from adversity.

Even before the debate, Biden’s age had been a liability with voters, and Thursday night’s faceoff appeared to reinforce the public’s deep-seated concerns before perhaps the largest audience he will garner in the four months until Election Day.

Privately, his campaign worked to tamp down concerns and keep donors and surrogates on board. Democratic lawmakers on Friday acknowledged Biden’s poor showing, but tried to stop talk of replacing him as their standard-bearer, and instead shift the focus to Trump’s attacks and falsehoods.

“Well, the president didn’t have a good night, but neither did Donald Trump with lie after lie and his dark vision for America,” North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper told The Associated Press on Friday, hours before he introduced the president in Raleigh. “We cannot send Donald Trump back to the White House. He’s an existential threat to our nation.”

Former President Barack Obama backed up his former vice president, posting on X that “Bad debate nights happen.” Alluding to his own poor showing in the first debate of his reelection campaign in 2012, Obama continued, “Trust me, I know. But this election is still a choice between someone who has fought for ordinary folks his entire life and someone who only cares about himself.”

He added: “Last night didn’t change that, and it’s why so much is at stake in November.”

House Democratic leader Hakeem Jeffries answered with a flat “no” when asked Friday if Biden should step aside.

Rep. Ritchie Torres, D-N.Y., allowed he “had to take a few more antidepressants than usual” after Biden’s debate showing.

But he added that “a Donald Trump presidency would cause me far greater discomfort than a Joe Biden debate performance.”

Biden’s campaign billed the Raleigh event as the largest-yet rally of his reelection bid in the state Trump carried by the narrowest margin in 2020. He then traveled to New York for a weekend of big-dollar fundraisers that his campaign now needs more than ever.

Biden’s campaign announced that it raised $14 million on debate day and the morning after, while Trump’s campaign said it raised more than $8 million from the start of the debate through the end of the night.

Vice President Kamala Harris, whom the Biden campaign sent out to defend his performance, tried to reassure Biden supporters at a rally in Las Vegas on Friday, saying, “This race will not be decided by one night in June.

“This race will be decided by you. By us,” she said. “Who sits in the White House next year will be determined by what we together do in these next 130 days.”

Biden campaign communications director Michael Tyler said there had been no internal conversations “whatsoever” about Biden stepping aside, though he, too, acknowledged that the president had a “bad night” on stage.

Rep. Emanuel Cleaver, D-Mo., said he could hardly sleep because of the number of telephone calls he got after Biden performed “horribly” in the debate.

“People were just concerned. And I told everybody being concerned is healthy, overreacting is dangerous,” Cleaver said.

Rep. James Clyburn, a South Carolina Democrat whose support in that state helped Biden secure the Democratic nomination four years ago, said he would likely speak to Biden later Friday and his message would be simple: “Stay the course.”

Biden and his team have long wagered that voters would look past their concerns about his age and unpopularity when confronted at the ballot box with a choice between the president and Trump. Despite their concerns about Biden’s performance, they took solace in Trump doing little to expand his own appeal to voters on Thursday.

Polls from CNN and 538/Ipsos conducted soon after the debate found that most debate-watchers thought Trump outperformed Biden. But the two men’s favorability ratings remained largely unchanged, just as they did in the aftermath of Trump’s conviction.

Democrats seized on Trump’s equivocations on whether he would accept the will of voters this time around, his refusal to condemn the rioters who stormed the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, trying to overturn his 2020 loss to Biden, and his embrace of the conservative-leaning Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v. Wade that had legalized abortion nationwide.

But Biden fumbled on abortion rights, one of the most important issues for Democrats in this year’s election. He was unable to explain Roe v. Wade, the landmark Supreme Court ruling that legalized abortion nationwide. A conservative Supreme Court with three justices nominated by Trump overturned Roe two years ago.

As elected Democrats united behind Biden publicly, donors and party operatives shared panicked text messages and phone calls Thursday night and into Friday expressing their concern that Biden’s performance was so bad that he may be unelectable this fall.

Among the few public Democratic voices calling on Biden to step aside was congressional candidate Nancy Boyda in Kansas, who broke with most in her party and called on Biden to suspend his campaign and retire at the end of his current term.

But there were no immediate signs of organized efforts among donors, his campaign leadership or the Democratic National Committee to convince the president to step aside, according to interviews with several people who spoke on the condition of anonymity to share sensitive conversations.

Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, a Democrat frequently mentioned as a 2028 contender and speculated about as a potential replacement for Biden, released a statement backing him on Friday.

“The difference between Joe Biden’s vision for making sure everyone in America has a fair shot and Donald Trump’s dangerous, self-serving plans will only get sharper as we head toward November,” she said.

California Gov. Gavin Newsom also dismissed questions on whether he would consider stepping in for Biden, telling reporters, “I will never turn my back on him.”

Under current Democratic Party rules, it would be difficult, if not impossible, to replace Biden as the party’s nominee without his cooperation or without party officials being willing to rewrite the rules at the August national convention.

Trump was set to hold a rally Friday afternoon in Chesapeake, Virginia, a onetime battleground that has shifted toward Democrats in recent years but that his aides believe can flip toward the Republicans in November.

Superville reported from Raleigh, North Carolina; Price from Norfolk, Virginia; Peoples from Atlanta. AP reporters Stephen Groves, Brian Slodysko, Colleen Long and Farnoush Amiri in Washington, John Hanna in Topeka, Kansas, Gary D. Robertson in Raleigh, JJ Cooper in Las Vegas, Joey Cappelletti in Lansing, Michigan and Bill Barrow in Atlanta contributed.

'No Hard Feelings' star Andrew Barth Feldman talks deferring Harvard, 'pretty naked' scenes

Andrew Barth Feldman had a lot to learn from Jennifer Lawrence .

Not about acting, necessarily, but important cultural touchstones such as “Star Wars Kid.” Lawrence, 33, introduced Feldman, 21, to the early viral YouTube video on the set of their R-rated sex comedy “No Hard Feelings” ( streaming now on Netflix ).

“I said something to him about it and he was like, ‘I don’t understand,’ ” Lawrence recalls. “I was like, ‘Oh, my God, you have no idea of a world before YouTube was a thing!’ ”

On the flip side, “I have a very singular obsession with the Disney parks, so I think she learned a lot about that stuff from me,” Feldman says. “I’m not the guy to go to about Gen-Z pop culture – I’m not even on TikTok – but I do know that Splash Mountain is becoming Tiana’s Bayou Adventure .”

'No Hard Feelings': Jennifer Lawrence discusses that full-frontal nude scene

Born and raised in Long Island, New York, Feldman caught the acting bug at 8 years old playing Mr. Bundles, the laundry man in “Annie.” He continued to do school plays and community theater until he was 16, when he made his Broadway debut in “Dear Evan Hansen” in the title role.

Here’s what else you need to know about the hysterical and charming scene-stealer:

Andrew Barth Feldman got his aunt's blessing for nude scenes

In the movie, Feldman plays an introverted 19-year-old named Percy, whose parents hire a woman (Lawrence) to help him come out of his shell before college. (Translation: Get laid.) Despite stripping down in multiple moments, the young actor has no nerves about watching the film with his family.

“I think it’s going to be OK. They’ve been so supportive from the very beginning,” Feldman says. During one of his first calls about his movie contract, “my lawyer was on the phone with me and my aunt. He was like, ‘We’ll deal with your nudity rider later.’ My aunt looks at me and goes, ‘Nudity rider?!’ And I was like, ‘Yeah, I think I’m going to be pretty naked in this movie.’ She thought about it for a second and said, ‘OK, well, it’s your body!’ (Laughs.) A pretty good show of support.”

He deferred Harvard to shoot 'No Hard Feelings'

Feldman spent a semester at Harvard University in fall 2021 studying theater, “but mostly writing and directing,” he says. He took a break to pursue “No Hard Feelings” and other projects, although “I’m hoping to go back soon.”

In the meantime, he’s writing “a bunch of musicals” with different collaborators, and also recently released his debut album, "Penn Station." He teased the project with new song “The College Breakup,” which began as a melancholy acoustic guitar ballad, but morphed into an early-2000s-style pop-punk anthem with the help of his producer, Ryan Sanchez.

“What I’m most excited for people to see and hear from me in the years coming is the stories that can be told with music,” Feldman says. “Hopefully my music, in whatever form that takes.”

He juggled Broadway and homework starring in 'Dear Evan Hansen'

Feldman was still in high school when he landed Evan, the warbling misfit made famous by Ben Platt. He lived at home during his yearlong run in the musical: tutoring during the day and performing on Broadway at night. The rigorous experience was both “painful and beautiful,” he says. On top of the role’s vocal and emotional demands, Feldman also lost his mom suddenly to cancer during that time.

“ My amazing mom encouraged me to stay on Long Island while I was doing ‘Evan Hansen,’“ Feldman says. “Every Evan had the same driver, José, who’s a legend and would come pick me up. So I had these very long drives there to sort of put my brain in manual mode. Then I’d get home really late and build Legos before I went to sleep. It was really, really hard doing that (show), but without it, I couldn’t have done this movie.”

This 'Star Wars' villain is his favorite character

No one’s a bigger “Star Wars” fan than Feldman, who wrote a musical parody of “A New Hope” with his friend in eighth grade, which they later staged at New York’s 54 Below in early 2020. The actor’s Jedi-like dedication goes back to middle school, when he celebrated “May the Fourth” by dressing up as a relatively obscure villain from the prequel movies.

“On Star Wars Day, I went to school dressed as General Grievous,” Feldman says. “That guy is so weird-looking, and I had the full mask and Party City getup. And nobody else was dressed up! It wasn’t Halloween – it was just me.”

Yes, he knows he looks like Chef Linguini from 'Ratatouille'

In early 2021, Feldman starred as Alfredo Linguini in a virtual benefit concert of “Ratatouille: The TikTok Musical,” a crowdsourced show based on Disney/Pixar’s 2007 film “Ratatouille.” The actor has long been told he bears an uncanny resemblance to the gawky chef.

“I can’t remember the first time it happened,” Feldman says. “I remember people tweeting me about it long before the musical was ever a glimmer in anybody’s eye.” He even heard it from a recent co-star who had no idea about the streaming performance: “She tried to roast me saying, ‘OK, Guy from “Ratatouille,” ’ because she just thought I looked like him. Really, it follows me around!”

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A Fumbling Performance, and a Panicking Party

President Biden’s shaky, halting debate performance has Democrats talking about replacing him on the ticket.

A raspy-voiced President Biden struggled to deliver his lines and counter former President Donald J. Trump during the debate on Thursday. Credit... Kenny Holston/The New York Times

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By Peter Baker

Peter Baker has covered the past five presidents, including Donald J. Trump and Joseph R. Biden Jr.

• June 27, 2024

President Biden hoped to build fresh momentum for his re-election bid by agreeing to debate nearly two months before he is to be formally nominated. Instead, his halting and disjointed performance on Thursday night prompted a wave of panic among Democrats and reopened discussion of whether he should be the nominee at all.

Over the course of 90 minutes, a raspy-voiced Mr. Biden struggled to deliver his lines and counter a sharp though deeply dishonest former President Donald J. Trump, raising doubts about the incumbent president’s ability to wage a vigorous and competitive campaign four months before the election. Rather than dispel concerns about his age , Mr. Biden, 81, made it the central issue.

Democrats who have defended the president for months against his doubters — including members of his own administration — traded frenzied phone calls and text messages within minutes of the start of the debate as it became clear that Mr. Biden was not at his sharpest. Practically in despair, some took to social media to express shock, while others privately discussed among themselves whether it was too late to persuade the president to bow out in favor of a younger candidate.

“Biden is about to face a crescendo of calls to step aside,” said a veteran Democratic strategist who has staunchly backed Mr. Biden publicly. “Joe had a deep well of affection among Democrats. It has run dry.”

“Parties exist to win,” this Democrat continued. “The man on the stage with Trump cannot win. The fear of Trump stifled criticism of Biden. Now that same fear is going to fuel calls for him to step down.”

A group of House Democrats said they were watching the debate together, and one, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, acknowledged that it was a “disaster” for Mr. Biden. The person said the group was discussing the need for a new presidential nominee.

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Fact-checking Biden and Trump's claims at the first debate

Forget alternative facts and political spin: Thursday's presidential debate was more like a tsunami of falsity.

Former President Donald Trump unleashed a torrent of misinformation on topics from terrorism to taxes during the first debate of the 2024 general election, while President Joe Biden flubbed figures and facts about military deaths and insulin prices.

More than a dozen NBC News reporters, editors and correspondents fact-checked the key claims the presidential candidates made Thursday night. Here they are by topic:

Economy, trade and health care

Fact check: did biden inherit 9% inflation.

“He also said he inherited 9% inflation. Now, he inherited almost no inflation, and it stayed that way for 14 months, and then it blew up under his leadership,” Trump said about Biden.

This is false.

The inflation rate when Biden took office in January 2021 wasn’t 9%. It was 1.4%. It has risen on his watch, peaking at about 9.1% in June 2022, but by last month it had come down to 3.3%. Pandemic-related stimulus policies put in place by both Trump and Biden were blamed, in part, for the rise in the inflation rate.

Fact check: Did Biden lower the cost of insulin to $15 a shot?

“We brought down the price of prescription drugs, which is a major issue for many people, to $15 for an insulin shot — as opposed to $400,” Biden said.

Biden capped the cost of insulin at $35 a month under Medicare, not $15 a shot, and some drug companies have matched that cap. The price cap doesn’t apply to everyone , however. 

What’s more, Biden’s also significantly overstating how much insulin cost before the change. A 2022 report by the Department of Health and Human Services found that patients using insulin spent an average of $434 annually on insulin in 2019 — not $400 a shot.

Fact check: Did Trump lower the cost of insulin?

Trump claimed credit for lowering the cost of insulin for seniors, saying, “I am the one who got the insulin down for the seniors.”

That is mostly false.

In 2020, Trump created a voluntary program under Medicare Part D. The program allowed Medicare Part D plans to offer some insulin products for no more than $35 per month. It was active from 2021 to 2023, with fewer than half of the plans participating each year. 

In 2022, Biden signed the Inflation Reduction Act, which included a provision that lowered the out-of-pocket cost for people on Medicare to $35 a month and covered all insulin products. The cap didn’t apply to those with private insurance. However, after the law was implemented, insulin manufacturers voluntarily lowered the out-of-pocket cost to $35 a month for people with private insurance.

Fact check: Does Biden want to raise ‘everybody’s taxes’ by four times?

“Nobody ever cut taxes like us. He wants to raise your taxes by four times. He wants to raise everybody’s taxes by four times,” Trump claimed. “He wants the Trump tax cuts to expire.”

Biden’s tax plan “holds harmless for 98% of households,” said Kyle Pomerleau, senior fellow at the conservative American Enterprise Institute. And Biden wants to extend the majority of the Trump tax cuts, too, though he has advocated for hiking taxes on very high earners.

Fact check: Biden said the U.S. trade deficit with China is at its lowest since 2010

“We are at the lowest trade deficit with China since 2010,” Biden said.

This is true.

The U.S. had $279 billion more in imports than exports to China last year, the lowest trade deficit with the world’s second-largest economy since 2010. The highest deficit in recent years was $418 billion, in 2018, when Trump began a trade war with China. 

The decline has been driven largely by tariffs that Trump imposed in office and that Biden has maintained and in some cases expanded.

Fact check: Are immigrants taking ‘Black jobs’?

Asked about Black voters who are disappointed with their economic progress, Trump claimed Black Americans are losing their jobs because of illegal border crossings under Biden’s administration.

“The fact is that his big kill on the Black people is the millions of people that he’s allowed to come through the border. They’re taking Black jobs now,” Trump said.

There’s no evidence that undocumented immigrants are taking jobs away from Black Americans. In fact, according  to the Bureau of Labor Statistics , the Black unemployment rate fell to 4.8% in April 2023 — an all-time low. Before that, the Black unemployment rate was as high as 10.2% in April 2021.

Immigration

Fact check: did trump end catch and release.

“We ended ‘catch and release,’” Trump said.

Trump did not end “catch and release,” a term used to describe the practice of releasing migrants into the country with court dates while they await court hearings. The U.S. doesn’t have enough facilities to detain every migrant who crosses the border until they can see judges, no matter who is president, so Trump — like Barack Obama before him and Biden after him — released many migrants back into the U.S.

Fact check: Did the Border Patrol union endorse Biden?

“By the way, the Border Patrol endorsed me, endorsed my position,” Biden said.

The National Border Patrol Council, the labor union for U.S. Border Patrol agents and staff members, has endorsed Trump. 

“The National Border Patrol Council has proudly endorsed Donald J. Trump for President of the United States,” the group’s vice president, Hector Garza, said in a statement shared exclusively with NBC News. 

The union posted on X , “to be clear, we never have and never will endorse Biden.”

Biden may have been referring to a Senate immigration bill that he backed, which earned the union’s endorsement .

Fact check: Did Trump have ‘the safest border in the history of our country’?

“We had the safest border in the history of our country,” Trump said.

It’s a clear exaggeration. In 2019, the last year before the Covid-19 pandemic brought down border crossings, there were roughly 860,000 illegal border crossings, far more than in any year during the Obama administration.

Fact check: Trump says Biden is allowing ‘millions’ of criminals to enter U.S.

“I’d love to ask him … why he’s allowed millions of people to come in from prisons, jails and mental institutions to come into our country and destroy our country,” Trump said.

There is no evidence of this.

Venezuela doesn’t share law enforcement information with U.S. authorities, making it very hard to verify criminal histories of immigrants coming to the U.S. But there’s no evidence that Venezuela is purposefully sending “millions” of people from mental institutions and prisons to the U.S.

Fact check: Did Virginia’s former governor support infanticide?

“They will take the life of a child in the eighth month, the ninth month and even after birth. After birth. If you look at the former governor of Virginia, he was willing to do so, and we’ll determine what we do with the baby. Meaning we’ll kill the baby. ... So that means he can take the life of the baby in the ninth month and even after birth. Because some states, Democrat-run, take it after birth. Again, the governor, the former Virginia governor, put the baby down so that we decide what to do with it. He’s willing to, as we say, rip the baby out of the womb in the ninth month and kill the baby. Nobody wants that to happen, Democrat or Republican; nobody wants it to happen,” Trump said.

While some Democrats support broad access to abortion regardless of gestation age, infanticide is illegal, and no Democrats advocate for it. Just 1% of abortions are performed after 21 weeks’ gestation, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention .

Trump first made the claim in 2019, after Virginia’s governor at the time, Ralph Northam, made controversial remarks in discussing an abortion bill. NBC News debunked the claim then, reporting that Northam’s remarks were about resuscitating infants with severe deformities or nonviable pregnancies. 

Asked on a radio program what happens when a woman who is going into labor desires a third-trimester abortion, Northam noted that such procedures occur only in cases of severe deformities or nonviable pregnancies. He said that in those scenarios, “the infant would be resuscitated if that’s what the mother and the family desired, and then a discussion would ensue between the physicians and the mother.”

Terrorism, foreign policy and the military

Fact check: trump said there was ‘no terror’ during his tenure.

“That’s why you had no terror, at all, during my administration. This place, the whole world, is blowing up under him,” Trump said.

There were two ISIS-inspired terrorist attacks while Trump was president. The first occurred in October 2017, when Sayfullo Saipov killed eight people and injured a dozen more in a vehicle ramming attack on the West Side Highway bike path in New York City. The second occurred in December 2017, when Akayed Ullah injured four people when he set off a bomb strapped to himself.

Fact check: Biden suggests no troops died under his watch

“The truth is I’m the only president this century that doesn’t have any this decade and any troops dying anywhere in the world like he did,” Biden said.

The Defense Department confirmed that 13 U.S. service members were killed in a suicide bombing attack at Abbey Gate at the Kabul airport by a member of ISIS-K as the U.S. was leaving Afghanistan. 

Environment

Fact check: did trump have the ‘best environmental numbers ever’.

“During my four years, I had the best environmental numbers ever, and my top environmental people gave me that statistic just before I walked on the stage, actually,” Trump said.

The figure Trump is referring to is the fact that carbon emissions fell during his administration. He posted the talking points his former Environmental Protection Agency chief emailed him on social media before the debate.

And it’s true that carbon emissions are falling — they have been dropping for years. Emissions particularly plunged in 2020, dropping to levels around those in 1983 and 1984. That drop was in large part thanks to Covid lockdowns, and emissions rose again when air travel and in-person working resumed. 

Still, climate activists and experts are quick to note that those drops are nowhere near enough to head off predicted catastrophic effects of global warming. Other major countries cut their emissions at a much faster rate during the Trump administration.

Fact check: The Jan. 6 crowd was not ‘ushered in’ by the police

“If you would see my statements that I made on Twitter at the time and also my statement that I made in the Rose Garden, you would say it’s one of the strongest statements you’ve ever seen. In addition to the speech I made in front of, I believe, the largest crowd I’ve ever spoken to, and I will tell you, nobody ever talks about that. They talk about a relatively small number of people that went to the Capitol and, in many cases, were ushered in by the police. And as Nancy Pelosi said, it was her responsibility, not mine. She said that loud and clear,” Trump said.

During a lengthy answer to a question about whether he would accept the result of the 2024 election and say all political violence is unacceptable, Trump made several false statements, including the claim that police “ushered” rioters into the U.S. Capitol and that then-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., said it was her responsibility to keep the chamber safe. 

Video and news reports of the Jan. 6 riots clearly captured the U.S. Capitol under attack by pro-Trump crowds who overran the law enforcement presence around and inside the complex. 

On Pelosi, Trump was most likely referring to video shot by Pelosi’s daughter Alexandra for an HBO documentary that showed her during the events of Jan. 6, 2021, tensely wondering how the Capitol was allowed to be stormed.

“We have responsibility, Terri,” Pelosi tells her chief of staff, Terri McCullough, as they leave the Capitol in a vehicle. “We did not have any accountability for what was going on there, and we should have. This is ridiculous.”

“You’re going to ask me in the middle of the thing, when they’ve already breached the inaugural stuff, ‘Should we call the Capitol Police?’ I mean the National Guard. Why weren’t the National Guard there to begin with?” Pelosi says in the video. 

“They clearly didn’t know, and I take responsibility for not having them just prepare for more,” she says. 

Many allies of Trump have tried for the more than three years since the riots to paint Pelosi as somehow being responsible for the violence. Some Trump-backing Republicans have, for example, falsely claimed that she blocked the National Guard from going to the Capitol during the riots.

And everything else ...

Fact check: trump skipped world war i cemetery visit because the soldiers who died were ‘losers’.

Biden said that Trump “refused to go to” a World War I cemetery and that “he was standing with his four-star general” who said Trump said, “I don’t want to go in there, because they’re a bunch of losers and suckers.”

In 2018, during a trip to France, Trump canceled a visit to an American cemetery near Paris, blaming weather for the decision. 

But in September 2020, The Atlantic reported that Trump had axed the visit because he felt that those who’d lost their lives and been buried there were “losers.” The magazine cited “four people with firsthand knowledge of those discussions.”

According to The Atlantic, Trump said: “Why should I go to that cemetery? It’s filled with losers.” In another conversation, The Atlantic reported, Trump said the 1,800 American Marines who died were “suckers.” 

Several media outlets confirmed the remarks, and Trump’s former White House chief of staff John Kelly also said those specific comments were true.

Fact check: Trump says Biden didn’t run for president due to 2017 Charlottesville rally

“He made up the Charlottesville story, and you’ll see it’s debunked all over the place. Every anchor has — every reasonable anchor has debunked it, and just the other day it came out where it was fully debunked. It’s a nonsense story. He knows that, and he didn’t run because of Charlottesville. He used that as an excuse to run,” Trump said about Biden.

The “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, in 2017 featured torch-bearing white supremacists marching to protest the removal of a Robert E. Lee statue and chanting racist slogans like “You will not replace us.” It turned deadly when a car plowed into a crowd .

In recent months, Trump has downplayed the violence, saying it was “nothing” compared to recent pro-Palestinian protests on university campuses.

Meanwhile, Biden has always pointed to Trump’s 2017 comments as the primary reason he decided to seek the presidency in 2020, including in his campaign announcement video back in April 2019 .

Jane C. Timm is a senior reporter for NBC News.

Julia Ainsley is the homeland security correspondent for NBC News and covers the Department of Homeland Security for the NBC News Investigative Unit.

Adam Edelman is a political reporter for NBC News.

Tom Winter is a New York-based correspondent covering crime, courts, terrorism and financial fraud on the East Coast for the NBC News Investigative Unit.

How Democrats could replace Biden as presidential candidate before November

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Jeff Mason is a White House Correspondent for Reuters. He has covered the presidencies of Barack Obama, Donald Trump and Joe Biden and the presidential campaigns of Biden, Trump, Obama, Hillary Clinton and John McCain. He served as president of the White House Correspondents’ Association in 2016-2017, leading the press corps in advocating for press freedom in the early days of the Trump administration. His and the WHCA's work was recognized with Deutsche Welle's "Freedom of Speech Award." Jeff has asked pointed questions of domestic and foreign leaders, including Russian President Vladimir Putin and North Korea's Kim Jong Un. He is a winner of the WHCA's “Excellence in Presidential News Coverage Under Deadline Pressure" award and co-winner of the Association for Business Journalists' "Breaking News" award. Jeff began his career in Frankfurt, Germany as a business reporter before being posted to Brussels, Belgium, where he covered the European Union. Jeff appears regularly on television and radio and teaches political journalism at Georgetown University. He is a graduate of Northwestern University's Medill School of Journalism and a former Fulbright scholar.

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Ex-Philippines president Duterte's senate election bid poses threat to former ally Marcos

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No, Biden won’t be on performance-enhancing drugs for the debate

Experts on the subject note that there is no drug that will temporarily mask cognitive decline.

Allies of Donald Trump have painted themselves into a cognitive corner. President Biden is unfit for office, they argue, because he is so old, and his mental abilities have deteriorated markedly. But then Biden will, say, deliver a State of the Union address in which he is energetic and pointed for more than an hour.

So they modify their claim: Biden is addled and wandering, except when he is given some sort of medication, perhaps a stimulant, that reverses that effect. And here we are, with Trump and those seeking his reelection to the White House demanding that Biden submit to some sort of drug test before this week’s first presidential debate, purportedly in effort to sniff out this theoretical drug.

Experts who spoke with The Washington Post, though, confirm that no such medicine exists.

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At the outset, we should recognize that this claim is generally not offered seriously. It is, instead, an effort to escape the aforementioned contradiction, a way to hold both that Biden is incapable of serving as president and yet, unquestionably at times, not demonstrating any such impairment. What’s more, the demand that Biden undergo a drug test is itself not serious. It is, instead, meant to create a condition that allows Trump and his allies to continue to claim that any strong performance from Biden is a function of medication. The result is win-win for Trump, who can blame any loss on this wonder drug.

If you haven’t been paying close attention to the debate (such as it is) over this idea, consider a snippet of conversation that aired on Fox Business on Tuesday morning.

Host Maria Bartiromo — no stranger to conspiratorial argumentation — hosted Rep. Eric Burlison (R-Mo.) where she offered an observation made by Rep. Ronny Jackson (R-Tex.).

“Jackson says Biden will have been at Camp David for a full week before the debate,” Bartiromo said , “and that they’re probably experimenting with getting doses right. Giving him medicine ahead of the debate.”

Burlison agreed that this was possible, though he offered that it might be more innocuous than medication. Perhaps, he said, Biden’s team is “jack[ing] him up on Mountain Dew.”

Jackson, you will recall, was Trump’s personal doctor while Trump was in the White House. He is not an expert on cognition or cognition-related illnesses, though he is familiar with drug prescription .

“Nothing like that exists,” Thomas Wisniewski, director of the NYU Langone Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center, told The Washington Post by phone. “There are no medications or stimulants that can reverse a dementing process transiently.”

“All of those sorts of things can perhaps make an individual more alert, but quite often that can just exacerbate their confusion, as well,” he added. “They can be more stimulated, but they are not going to be behaving in a more cogent or normal fashion as a result of being stimulated by anything. Very often it’s the reverse.”

Adam Brickman, professor of neuropsychology at Columbia University Irving Medical Center, concurred with that assessment.

“I’m not aware of any medications that would reverse or mask cognitive decline,” Brickman said. What’s more, he noted that “the association between energy and cognition is a very weak one. In other words, someone could have low energy but totally intact cognition and vice versa.”

Both doctors noted that such a medication would be of enormous benefit. Reversing cognitive decline, after all, would mean turning back the damage done from diseases that impair cognition in the first place. It would be akin not just to treating the pain of a broken bone but, instead, to directly healing the break itself. Sadly, no such drug for cognition exists.

Again, the argument that Biden is or could be receiving targeted treatment to improve his mental state fails multiple logical tests. Why, for example, would he not simply take this medication all the time? Why would he need to retest his dosage for a debate after giving a lengthy State of the Union address? The answer is that there is no good answer, that the intent of the allegations is simply to maintain the political argument that Biden is mentally deficient even in the face of his performing above expectations in a debate.

Not that that argument is itself well-grounded, as Brickman noted.

“It’s not possible to conclude or to determine whether someone has subtle cognitive change without doing a true clinical evaluation,” he said. “So to judge whether there’s an underlying disease or neurodegenerative condition based on public speeches or interactions that are captured by the press is irresponsible.”

Wisniewski offered a more succinct dismissal of the claims being made by Trumpworld.

“It’s spurious,” he said. “It’s nonsensical.”

In other words, if Biden fares better in the debate this week, it’s not because of a secret Camp David drug-dosing regimen that enabled the administration to mask Biden’s physical degeneration. It’s because Biden out-debated the guy who won’t accept that that’s possible.