is it better to have older or younger parents essay

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Young mom versus old mom: Which is really better?

Editor's Note: We all know the perfect age at which to have that first baby — it's whatever age you were when you had yours, or your mother had hers. And yet if we can be objective about it, we know there are pros and cons to motherhood at any age. Energy level, financial stability, confidence level — they're all factors. And motherhood is so individual. Anyone who thinks all moms over 40 are too exhausted to chase after toddlers hasn't been to a Gymboree birthday party lately.

A report released Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reveals that the average age of first-time moms is at its highest level, rising from 24.9 years old in 2000 to 26.3 in 2014. The number of teen births has dropped, and there's been a big jump in the number of moms over 30. In 2014, 9 percent of the first-time moms in the U.S. were over 35.

In 2011, Alexa Aguilar shared with TODAY this personal glimpse into the pros and cons of having one baby in her 20s, then two more as she approached 40.

I recently registered one child for high school; the other for pre-school.

My days are a mix of basketball games, some at a middle school gym and others on a Little Tikes hoop. One minute, I advise on teen romance and math questions, the next, I encourage tentative first steps and sing the ABCs. I watch “Glee” with my oldest; “Caillou” with my little ones.

My family is a little unusual — I have a 14-year-old and a 14-month old, with a 2½-year-old sandwiched in between. Parenting all three requires some serious multi-tasking. It also provides a personal window into the young mom versus older mom debate. Is it better to have kids in your 20s, when you have lots of energy, or in your 30s or 40s, when you’re more settled?

I can tell you from experience: Being a mom is difficult, exhausting and rewarding, regardless of your age. For me, youth meant more energy and fitting into my pre-pregnancy jeans a lot quicker. But age brought me greater patience and the awareness that I needed to savor the fleeting moments with my children.

When I was in my early 20s, I had some serious stamina — I attended college and juggled jobs, internships and friendships. Amidst it all was a little girl who tagged along with me everywhere. I read parenting books but I didn’t obsess over parenting decisions. As a single mother in school, I was just too busy. We played at the park and went to the library, but much of what I remember of those years is feeling like I was constantly juggling all the demands on my time.

Her peers’ parents were friendly, but I never felt like I belonged. My fellow moms were much older and had “grown-up” lives so unlike mine. My friends my age were living the young, single life, with kids and family far down the line.

Fast forward a decade. I’m still juggling, but the balls in the air are much different. Now, I stress about work deadlines and what to cook for dinner, just like in my younger days, but it’s with the security of a mortgage, a hometown, a husband and a job. I’m no longer the youngest mom at playgroup. I was able to slow down my career and become a freelance writer to spend more time with all three, time that I longed for when my oldest was a little girl.

Still, children affect your career no matter what rung of the ladder you’re on. Then, I worried about how to land that first job and put in the long hours required while remaining an involved parent. Now, I relish the hours with my children while wondering how much the time away from a full-time office will set me back.

As I’ve matured, I’ve also become a more neurotic parent. I obsess about development and parenting much more than I did. My oldest daughter has become a mature, independent and self-reliant kid, and I wonder now if it’s because she didn’t have me hovering. Then, I dropped her off at full-time day care, knowing it was my only option. Now, I second-guess myself when my little boy cries as I leave him for an hour at a toddler class.

With a huge gap between my oldest and the younger ones, I worried that the sibling relationships wouldn’t be strong. Would my oldest daughter always feel like part of a separate family? But I’ve been surprised by how beautifully special their relationships are, and how our family has somehow blended into a cohesive whole. The younger two worship their older sister, and my oldest has discovered how amazing loving a little brother and sister can be. Experts have told me that a small age gap doesn’t ensure a tight relationship; personality is a much bigger indicator.

I have to be on the constant lookout, though, that none are shortchanged. What to do when my oldest wants me at her basketball game, but the toddler is cranky and needs a nap? I often must rely on friends to transport her when the younger ones are tucked in for the night. And our house often features the kind of chaos that can be wearing on a moody teen.

Now my former single friends have children of their own, and they often tease me that they wish they had a 14-year-old in the house too, because the extra set of hands is such a boon.

We will face some more challenges in the years ahead with our group of widely spaced children, as we decide at which restaurant to dine, where to vacation, and what movies to watch. But those are the fun kind of struggles. What I really worry about is the absence our family will feel when my oldest heads to college in just four short years, and she will have an 8-year-old brother and 7-year-old sister missing her terribly at home. We will still be in the midst of T-ball and dance lessons while the oldest member of our family starts to forge her own independent path.

We’ll deal with that monumental shift in our family dynamic when the time comes, I guess. In the meantime, I have to go wrestle my preschooler away from his sister’s iPod.

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Who Is Better? The Older or the Younger Parent?

Most experts agree that kids raising kids -- in other words, teen parents -- isn’t usually a recipe for a healthy family. But is there a prime age for raising children?

Parents in their 20s or early 30s have in their corner the potential advantages of energy, flexibility and longevity -- they’ll still be relatively youthful when their children reach high school. Older parents -- in their late 30s and 40s -- theoretically have maturity and a level of emotional and financial stability on their side.

Does this matter? Experts say yes, it can -- although it's possible for people to do a great job of parenting, whether they're teenagers or in their 60s. “I do think it’s more contingent on characteristics and quality of parenting than age,” said Betsy Duvall, a licensed clinical social worker who practices in Denver, Colorado.

Clinical psychologist and author Dr. Susan Heitler, also of Denver, believes the necessary skills can be acquired at any age, though it’s more difficult at the extremes.

To do the best job, Heitler advised, “Become a professional parent.” Capable parenting requires couples to be good parent s and good partners to their spouses to form a stable household. “Your baby deserves a professional at both.”

Basically, happy, well-adjusted people make good parents. [Kids] need a combination of someone with enough continuity and constancy but enough flexibility to respond to their explorations. Betsy Duvall, licensed clinical social worker

The Advantages of Age

“One of the most important characteristics is that a parent, in order to be a good parent , has to put their child’s needs first,” Duvall said.

This can be difficult for young people who are still in the process of developing a strong enough sense of self to put their needs second. “In our culture, a lot of young people are still involved in separating from family when they’re in their late teens and early 20s,” Duvall said. “It puts their emotional needs and their child’s emotional needs at loggerheads.”

The ability to set aside our needs develops as young people mature, she says, but it’s hard to say exactly when young people acquire that talent. “It’s not as if emotional development is ‘done’ at some point,” Duvall said. “It’s not like a cake.”

For Heitler, co-founder of the online therapy site PowerOfTwoMarriage.com and a blogger at PsychologyToday.com, stability is a major factor in parenting and requires a stable marriage.

“Young marriages are less reliable,” suffering from a higher divorce rate among other issues, she said. “Parents need a great relationship. Kids do better in sunshine than in hurricanes.”

Another advantage of age, Heitler said, is “to be old enough to be comfortable being in authority,” a necessity in raising children.

Then, of course, there’s maturity. “People underestimate how much maturity is a function of skills,” which are learned over time, Heitler said.

The Advantages of Youth

A major advantage of youth is the higher energy level, which can come in handy when parents must get up in the middle of the night with an infant or want to go ice skating or throw a ball with an older child, says Heitler.

Younger people also tend to be less set in their ways and more flexible in reacting to changes, which come often and quickly during children’s formative years. People in their 20s and early 30s are in the process of breaking away from home and starting new careers and friendships, so change for them is often a constant, says Heitler .

“When we get older, sometimes we get a little more rigid and less flexible and not as open to new things,” Duvall agreed.

Additionally, young people often have fewer commitments, leaving them more time for parenting.

Older parents may have the advantage of authority, but that can turn into a disadvantage if parents are too rigid, believing there’s just one way to do things -- their way.

Another disadvantage to having children later in life is that the children are more likely to lose their parents sooner to death, says Duvall. That also goes for grandparents, aunts, uncles and other older members of the extended family, which diminishes the family base.

Overcoming the Disadvantages

Learning to put your own needs second to your child's needs isn’t easy. “I once heard a noted psychiatrist saying it requires the highest level of psychological function of anything a human can do,” Duvall said.

But it can be learned. “Maturity can be enhanced,” Heitler said. “That’s what therapy does for people. It helps them to grow up under the warmth and tutelage of a good therapist -- hopefully.”

Other obstacles of youth or age can be overcome, too. Take the energy issue for older parents. Where they get in trouble, says Heitler, is when they have full-time jobs, community responsibilities and personal issues competing for their time. In that case, it’s wise to pare down responsibilities.

“If you have lower energy but you clear the decks of other commitments, you could be a phenomenal parent,” Heitler said. Younger and older parents can have disadvantages, she said, but “all of that gets overridden by good parenting technique.”

Parents working on their relationship with each other can do wonders for child rearing. “One of most important factors is [if] he has two parents who love each other,” Heitler said.

Duvall put the same idea a different way: “Basically, happy, well-adjusted people make good parents,” she said. “[Kids] need a combination of someone with enough continuity and constancy but enough flexibility to respond to their explorations.”

Confessions of an Older Parent

My first child was born 24 days before my 40th birthday. Four years later, almost to the day, she was joined by two brothers. When we learned that my wife was pregnant the first time -- and even more so the second -- I wondered: Would I be the oldest parent at the PTA meeting? Would I be able to throw a football with them? Would people mistake me for their grandfather? Would I live to be a grandfather? I needed a plan.

Six months after my daughter was born, I started an exercise regimen. It isn’t extensive, but it offers me few excuses, so I rarely miss. I also keep my weight, cholesterol and blood pressure down. I’ve tried to be flexible and open to new ideas. I learned early on that my kids were multitasking, not distracting themselves with music and TV while doing homework. Fortunately, their grades and other accomplishments have borne out that theory. I’ve striven to accept electronics, becoming an early adopter of texting. With three fanatics in the house, I’ve learned enough about contemporary music to amaze my peers.

For me, I learned that by waiting, I’m far more patient than I might have been a decade earlier. And, I also learned a valuable lesson. A lot of love -- between the parents as well as between the parents and their kids -- can help make up for the mistakes you’ll inevitably make.

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Since 1973, Michael Rudeen has worked for the “Alexandria (La.) Daily Town Talk,” “The Kansas City Star,” “Denver Monthly” magazine, “The Denver Post,” “The Denver Business Journal,” Colorado Public Radio and the “Rocky Mountain News.” The Tulane graduate in English is now a Denver-based freelance writer and editor.

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Home — Essay Samples — Sociology — Generation — The Differences Between Older Generation Vs Younger Generation

The Differences Between Older Generation Vs Younger Generation

• Categories: Generation Modern Society

About this sample

Words: 655 |

Updated: 11 December, 2023

Words: 655 | Page: 1 | 4 min read

Works Cited

• Chetty, R., Hendren, N., Kline, P., Saez, E., & Turner, N. (2014). Is the United States Still a Land of Opportunity? Recent Trends in Intergenerational Mobility. The American Economic Review, 104(5), 141-147.
• Lamont, M., & Molnár, V. (2002). The Study of Boundaries in the Social Sciences. Annual Review of Sociology, 28, 167-195.
• Levinson, D. J., & Levinson, J. L. (1996). The Seasons of a Woman's Life. Knopf.
• Mokyr, J. (2002). The Gifts of Athena: Historical Origins of the Knowledge Economy. Princeton University Press.
• Pew Research Center. (2018). Mobile Fact Sheet. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/fact-sheet/mobile/
• Putnam, R. D. (2000). Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community. Simon & Schuster.
• Roberts, S. G. B., Dunbar, R. I. M., Pollet, T. V., & Kuppens, T. (2009). Exploring Variation in Active Network Size: Constraints and Consequences. Social Networks, 31(2), 138-146.
• Turkle, S. (2011). Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other. Basic Books.
• Valenzuela, S., Park, N., & Kee, K. F. (2009). Is There Social Capital in a Social Network Site?: Facebook Use and College Students' Life Satisfaction, Trust, and Participation. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 14(4), 875-901.
• Wellman, B. (2001). Physical Place and Cyberplace: The Rise of Networked Individualism. International Journal of Urban and Regional Research, 25(2), 227-252.

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Is it better to have older or younger parents

IELTS essay Is it better to have older or younger parents

• Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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• 5 band Back in the 1990’s there were less opportunities to go abroad and study compared to the 2000’s. I think it is studying abroad has equal number of advantages and disadvantages Back in the 1990’s there were less opportunities to go abroad and study compared to the 2000’s. I think it is studying abroad has equal number of advantages and disadvantages. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of enrolling in courses outside the country with relevant examples. First of all ...
• 5.5 band Should children have liberty to make big dicission The importance of liberty to make big decisions by the teenagers which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact ...
• 5 band Measles and mumps are two common diseases, so to prevent your self from it you should understand their similar points. Measles and mumps are two common diseases, so to prevent your self from it you should understand their similar points. One similarity between Measles and Mumps is contagious viral diseases. There are spread by coughing and sneezing. The fastest way to spread the disease is breathing. Measles and Mum ...
• 5 band You must wash your hands 1. You must wash your hands 1) cleaning hands helps you avoid virus and bacteria 2. Antibiotics can help treat diarrhea 1 ) Antibiotics or anti medications might help treat diarrhea caused by bacteria. 2) Antibiotics are Used by 3- to 7-day. 3. drinking a lot of fluids it can help us recover 1 ...
• 5.5 band Describe cow with her benefits. Cow is an animal who gives us milk. Cow is female animal. Cow is considered as mother in india. We have 5 cows at our home. We are taking care of all cows. Cow's pee is using as medicine in some part of india as it has anti-bacterial property. Cow gives milk. From milk we can make many dairy product ...
• 5.5 band Some people like to stay at the same place for their life while other like to change their places. Discuss both views and gave your opinion Several people believe that few people want to live at the exact place for whole life, wherever they are living. on the other hand, some individuals like to change their living places. however, this essay will shed light on the both views along with this, I will propose my opinion in upcoming paragr ...

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Writing - Part 1 - B2 First (FCE) - Practice, Write & Improve

Exam question:, type: essay.

Your teacher has asked you to write your response to the following statement taken from a recent newspaper article:

Write your essay using all the notes.

Student's Answer:

“To be or not to be the oldest. That is the question.

Many people consider that being the youngest in the family is a very pleasant position to be in. However, in my opinion this may not be the case and maybe being the eldest is superior.

Firstly, parents find it much easier to manage older children than younger ones who typically cause more problems. This is the case because younger children frequently demand more attention and are significantly less mature than older family members.

Secondly, the younger brother or sister is protected and educated by the older family relative. Because they have experienced more in life, older siblings are sometimes regarded as having more wisdom. The elder child will constantly try to set a good example for their smaller immediate relative.

Finally, the advantage of being the family’s eldest is that they are prepared in a much better way for their future life. This is so because they are more independent at an earlier age. Moreover, their social skills are better developed.

In conclusion being the oldest child in a family is best because they are better prepared for future life.”

To be or not to be the oldest. That is the question.  - acceptable, yet a better title would be more formal

The perspective of the older sibling

Many people consider that (verbose language) being the youngest in the family is a very pleasant position to be in. However , in my opinion (put personal opinions in the last paragraph)   voices also appear that this may not be the case and maybe being the eldest is superior.

Appropriate introduction; informs the reader about the essence of the essay;

• remember that essay is an academic paper and must be written in formal / semi - formal style; as you were writing to officials .

Firstly, (linking words) parents find it much easier to manage older children than younger ones who typically (subordinate clauses) cause more problems. This is the case (demonstrative pronouns) because younger children frequently demand more attention and are significantly less mature (vocabulary of a higher level) than older family members .

Secondly, (linking words) the younger brother or sister is protected and educated by the older family relative . Also , (link sentences) b ecause they have experienced more in life , older siblings are sometimes regarded as wiser, more responsible and independent. (use more subject-specific vocabulary)   having more wisdom. Accordingly , (link sentences)   the elder child will constantly try to set a good example for their smalle r immediate relative.

• use more words that are subject - specific

Finally , (linking words) the advantage of being the family's eldest is that they are prepared in a much better way for their future life . This is so (demonstrative pronouns) because they are more independent at an earlier age . Moreover , their social skills are better developed.

In conclusion , (linking words) being the oldest child in a family is best because they are better prepared for future life ."

Content: 5/5 have you answered the question?

All content is relevant to the task. Target reader is informed.

• parents - commented
• role of older sibling - commented
• (Your own idea)- commented

Communicative Achievement: 3-4/5 have you completed the task in the right sort of language?

There is some awkwardness of expression at times, either due to word choice or word order.

The organisation: 4/5 have you structured your writing properly?

The essay begins with an appropriate introduction that introduces the reader to its content. the main issues are dealt with in separate paragraphs and the text ends with a summary

Use consistently linking words - words or phrases that show the relationship between sentences or paragraphs Linking words and phrases Linking words and paragraph connectors(video)

Language: 4-5/5 have you used a good range of grammar and vocabulary?

Vocabulary There is a wide range of vocabulary, including less common lexis.

Grammar There is wide range of simple and more complex grammatical forms which are used with control and flexibility.

Slightly repetitive vocabulary.

Errors, are insignificant and do not impede communication.

Use more diverse grammar structures appropriate to the written text (conditionals, inversion, regrets, wishes, passive forms, various tenses, past modals,cleft sentences, various clauses (subordinate, participle ) 

Use less common lexis (more advanced vocabulary) related to the topic.

  Score: 17/20 Grade: B2/C1 

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What Aging Parents Want From Their Kids

There’s a fine line between caring and controlling—but older adults and their grown children often disagree on where it is.

Several years ago, I wrote a book aimed at helping adult children of my generation manage the many challenges of caring for our aging parents. I interviewed women and men across the country about their struggles and successes. I also spoke with members of the helping professions: geriatricians, social workers, elder-law attorneys, administrators of assisted-living facilities, and just about anyone and everyone who I thought could shed light on the subject. Everybody, that is, except the aging parents.

That now strikes me as a glaring omission. No doubt it’s because I’ve since become an aging parent that I find myself looking at the matter of parent care from a different perspective. I nod in agreement when the son of a friend expresses concern to me about his dad driving after dark, but I also understand when my friend, his father, complains of “being badgered by my kids about my driving.” He and his children may have different answers to the situation’s key questions: How serious a problem is the father’s driving? And how capable is the father of making his own decisions?  Certainly there are situations where an adult child’s intervention in the ailing parent’s life is clearly needed, but what if this isn’t one of those times?

As parents get older, attempts to hold on to our independence can be at odds with even the most well-intentioned “suggestions” from our children. We want to be cared about but fear being cared for. Hence the push and pull when a well-meaning offspring steps onto our turf.

Another case in point: My friend Julia and I recently met at a local museum. She’s 75, a retired editor and volunteer docent. Over lunch, we caught up on family news—kids, grandkids. She took out an iPhone to show me pictures. I asked about her daughter, who had recently moved back to the East Coast from Chicago. “It must be nice to see her more often,” I said.

Julia sighed. “Yes, but—” she said.  “Whenever Brenda drops by, I’m not sure whether she’s come to visit or to check up on me: Does my home meet the clean test? Is the yogurt in my refrigerator long past its ‘use by’ date?”

“I feel like I’m constantly being assessed,” she concluded.

I have some idea of what she means. My husband and I have taken to checking the due dates of groceries prior to a visit from any of our three sons. They’ve even got the grandkids going through my spice cabinet. For them it’s a game, except I don’t feel like playing. Ten years ago, I probably would have joined in the fun. Now I’m more sensitive to being criticized.

A week later, I found myself discussing the same thing with Elinor, another friend of mine. We had been talking about a number of recently aired tributes to Frank Sinatra when we blocked on the name of another singer of that era. “I see an M ,” I said. Running through the alphabet often works for me. Triumphantly, Elinor came up with the right answer: Mel Torme. She was relieved.

“My son and daughter-in-law have made me very self-conscious about my memory,” Elinor told me. “Whenever they catch me in a lapse like not knowing the day’s date—I mean, I know it’s a Thursday, but is it the 21st or 22nd of the month?” Whenever she has trouble finding the right word, “they exchange these long, meaningful looks.” The only thing their scrutiny accomplished, she told me, was putting her on edge when they spent time together.

Has she talked to them about her feelings? No, she said. “I do enjoy their company, but I also find myself looking for excuses to see them less often.”

So what are older parents looking for in relationships with their adult children? In a 2004 study, two professors from the State University of New York at Albany, the public-health professor Mary Gallant and the sociologist Glenna Spitze, explored the issue in interviews with focus groups of older adults. Among their findings: Their participants “express strong desire for both autonomy and connection in relations with their adult children, leading to ambivalence about receiving assistance from them. They define themselves as independent but hope that children’s help will be available as needed. They are annoyed by children’s overprotectiveness but appreciate the concern it expresses. They use a variety of strategies to deal with their ambivalent feelings, such as minimizing the help they receive, ignoring or resisting children’s attempts to control …”

“One of the scariest things to people as they age is that they don’t feel in control anymore,” says Steven Zarit, a professor of human development and family studies at Pennsylvania State University. “So if you tell your dad not to go out and shovel snow, you assume that he’ll listen. It’s the sensible thing. But his response will be to go out and shovel away … It’s a way of holding on to a life that seems to be slipping back.”

Whether that means he’s independent or intransigent depends on who’s making the call. A recent study by Zarit  and his colleagues looked at parental stubbornness as a complicating factor in intergenerational relationships. Not surprisingly, adult children were more likely to say their parents were acting stubborn than the parents were to see the behavior in themselves. Understanding why parents may be “insisting, resisting, or persisting in their ways or opinions,” the study reads, can lead to better communication. Zarit’s advice to the adult child: “Do not pick arguments. Do not make a parent feel defensive. Plant an idea, step back, and bring it up later. Be patient.”

But that goes both ways. I speak from experience when I say that too often, parents engage in magical thinking—our children should have known x , or should have done y —and then we’re disappointed if they don’t come through. The onus here is on us older parents to speak up. The clearer we are in describing our feelings and stating our needs, the better our chances of having those needs met.

Karen Fingerman, who was a co-author on Zarit’s study, suggests a different approach. A professor of human development and family sciences at the University of Texas, Fingerman is also the director of a three-generational study that focuses on middle-aged children and how they care for the generations above and below them. “The research shows that they have a pretty good idea of what their parents’ needs really are,” she says. “Older parents might do better to try to understand and address the child’s concerns. We found in our research that when the middle-aged adult is worried about the aging parent, the parent is both annoyed by that and feels more loved.”

At a recent 80th-birthday party for my friend Leah, I found myself seated at a table for eight, all women of a certain age: my very own focus group. At the main table, Leah was surrounded by her family: two sons, their wives, seven grandchildren. A photographer was taking pictures. A beautiful family, all my tablemates agreed.

“While we’re on the subject of families …” I began. I asked the women about their own families, specifically about anything they might want to say to their own adult children. “I’d just want to say thank you,” said one, “and I do say it all the time.” She explained that she was sidelined by a back ailment this past year, and “my daughters, despite their busy social and professional lives, bent over backwards to do everything for their father and me.”

“What I’d want to say to my daughters?” asked another woman, seated to my right. “I’d want to tell them, ‘Buzz off.’” The daughters are both in their early fifties; their mother, widowed early in her marriage, is fiercely proud of her success as a single mother. “They’re always offering to do this, do that, and do the other thing, and it just drives me crazy,” she said. “It tells me that they think I’m not competent.” As a result, she’s stopped telling them when she really does have a problem.

Our conversation was brought to a close by the sound of a spoon clicking against glass. Leah’s older son rose to offer a toast. “To the birthday girl,” he began, going on to extol his mother’s virtues … Other toasts followed. Finally, Leah took the floor. “To my wonderful family …” she began. In her case, I guess that said it all.

A previous version of this article appeared on NYCityWoman .

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Are we better off waiting to be older parents?

As more women choose to have children in middle age, they feel that they're excelling as parents, their kids are happy and the downsides are no big deal.

Philip Ferreira was 54 and Natalie Grunberg-Ferreira was 41 when Arieh, now a year old, was born. Photo: Jimmy Jeong

The turning-point conversation about kids happened in Fiji. Kristina McKinnon and her husband, Rob, took a boat cruise to visit the outer islands. Other people’s kids were running around, roughhousing, snorkelling, yelling, a cloud of kid chaos, and Kristina loved it. The next part of the trip was adults only, and she and Rob agreed it had been better with kids. “We have a lot of love to give,” she thought. “We can do it.” She was 35. It wasn’t really a late start, considering she’d met her husband at 29, and the next few years had been about launching the marriage and getting professionally settled.

But it took a decade-long obstacle course to reach parenthood. After Fiji, Rob’s dad was diagnosed with dementia. The couple decided to rent out their home in Radium Hot Springs, B.C., and move back to their hometown of Victoria to care for him, building a suite for themselves on top of his ranch house. They started new jobs: Rob as a police officer; Kristina in administration at the University of Victoria. For the next five years, she tried to get pregnant, without success. It was a hard time. In every direction, Kristina saw children; they seemed to be multiplying, clogging streets and grocery store aisles.

At 40, Kristina went to a fertility clinic, where the doctor told her, “You have to get on this right away.” Three rounds of IVF came next—needles and hormones and mood swings. The transfer of each embryo was followed by the agony of waiting two weeks for results. Then the call: not pregnant.

A friend knew what they were going through and offered to donate her eggs. Rob’s sperm and the donated eggs added up to five embryos, one of which was transferred to Kristina, who was by that point 45. She got pregnant, and 10 years after that discussion in Fiji, Kristina gave birth to her daughter, Kaitlyn. “A perfect baby. Slept through the night right away,” she says.

Her father-in-law died when Kaitlyn was two. “Taking care of your kids through that helps. They rescue you from sorrow,” says Kristina. Her mom and stepdad moved into the house, which meant more sandwich-generation caregiving for Kristina. Her mom had a heart condition that gradually grew worse. After months of treatment, she died. To get through another dark period of loss, Kristina leaned on her sisters, and Kaitlyn’s solitude in the world as an only child suddenly seemed stark and alarming. Her cousins were 15, 20 years older; who would she have to turn to when Kristina and Rob were old, or if something happened to them, God forbid? On her way to work, Kristina would drive by the clinic that housed her two frozen embryos, from the same batch as Kaitlyn: “I could hear them calling.”

The doctors at the clinic Kristina went to wouldn’t transfer an embryo after age 50, so she had to make a decision within three months of her mother’s death. Kristina didn’t know if she was in the right headspace. “Was I being selfish, or do we still have time and energy and love?” The answer was no, and yes, yes and yes. Just before her 50th birthday, Kristina had the “emby”—her term—implanted and became pregnant. Like many older moms, she developed gestational diabetes , and she worried about the strain on her heart. During delivery, she said to herself: “Please don’t die on this table. You have to make it through for this baby.”

She did. Her daughter Sam arrived in June 2017, a few weeks before Kristina’s 51st birthday. Kristina’s stomach is still distended from torn abdominal muscles. She’s bone-tired, shuttling two kids, ages six and two, between activities and child care while working three days a week. The $50,000 cost of IVF on their line of credit means she and her husband are indefinitely postponing the home they wanted to build. “I wouldn’t recommend having a kid at 50,” she says. “A lot of people at work think I’m absolutely insane, and to be honest there are days we look at each other and say, ‘Oh my God—we’re crazy.’”

But she’s laughing as she says this, and being honest about the downsides isn’t the same as regret—is it?

“No! Being a mom is sheer, absolute joy,” says Kristina. “We experience everything brand new. You learn about all of humanity through watching them learn and grow up and have emotions. It’s an education for us to just go to kindergarten and meet the teacher, all these experiences other parents might take for granted. This is something we almost didn’t have. Here we are, getting to do this. It’s unbelievable.”

In 2012, the average age of Canadian mothers at childbirth, taking all births into account, hit 30.8 years, the oldest age on record in this country. For the first time, birth rates are higher for women in their late 30s than in their early 20s. In 2010, another seismic demographic shift occurred: Over-40 pregnancies became more common than teenage ones.

Because the vast majority of women having kids in their 40s and 50s require some form of assisted reproductive technology to become mothers, this cultural swing to older parenting has raised alarm bells about an attack on the natural order in some religious and conservative circles. Older parenting does seem supernatural, somehow; it undoes chronology and has the potential to rearrange society. Last year, an American psychologist warned a conference at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine that women who have children in their 50s and 60s will “traumatize” their kids. Too early in life, said the psychologist, these children will become caregivers and invariably face the monumental loss of a parent.

But the several Canadian women who delayed parenting that I spoke to don’t seem like emissaries from a cold sci-fi future; their reasons for becoming parents later have arisen from the everyday realities in which they live. Women delay childbirth because they haven’t found a partner, or they’re trying to get established professionally in order to afford a kid, or they haven’t made up their minds yet. That last one is about choice, which is what feminism gave us, along with birth control. Since birth control allowed women agency over their reproduction half a century ago, maternal age has been rising incrementally in developed countries around the world. Assisted reproductive technology is the next generation of scientifically aided autonomy for women, allowing us even more control over our biology, including the time of life in which we become mothers.

For women who seize the opportunity afforded them by this moment in history and become later-life mothers, the challenges are many, including the aforementioned exhaustion and playground side-eye (“Are you so-and-so’s grandma?” is the dreaded question). But older mothers also project a very specific kind of joy. Karen Kaffko, a clinical psychologist and professor at York University in Toronto who has worked with women going through fertility treatments, finds the anxiety of making multiple attempts at conception is later mitigated by thoughtfulness and delight. “They have a kind of mindful appreciation of every moment of their young child’s life,” she says. Parenting is regarded as a gift—and often a hard-earned one.

Older moms provide a counterpoint to the “ I hate motherhood ” trend of the past few years. A body of social science literature has shown parents are less happy than non-parents, and mothers are less happy than fathers, hence confessional anti-motherhood blogs and books like Orna Donath’s Regretting Motherhood. But parents who have their kids over age 34 display higher levels of happiness than those who have their kids earlier. This is likely because having kids when you’re older often means avoiding the stressors that make parenting hard, namely financial strain and instability.

As they move from aberration to a new normal, older mothers are reinventing the very institution of motherhood—maybe even improving it, which raises the question: Are older women better at motherhood?

Elizabeth Bruce and her 10-year-old son, Graham, live in an apartment in the west end of Toronto where the balcony overlooks a tangled ravine. Elizabeth, whose air of no-fools-suffered efficiency is offset by a head of playful, fiery-red hair, works from home one day a week rather than at her downtown office, where she’s the national manager of hospitality services at RBC. Graham will be home soon. He has a key to the building and walks from school on his own most days, a conscious decision by Elizabeth to instill independence.

“Oh, these snowplow parents,” she sighs. “I’m just amazed at the over-worry and concern. I just don’t have it. Maybe it’s because I’m older, but I think the kids are going to be fine.”

Elizabeth waited to have a kid because her mother always told her and her sisters: Fly. Have a life. Don’t rush. “It was never my intention to find somebody, get married and have a baby,” she says. “That was just never on the forefront for me. It was, ‘Okay, what am I going to do with my life, for me.’”

She did a lot. She lived in Bermuda and San Francisco, travelled the world and dined in three-star restaurants. After the fallout from 9/11 devastated the hotel industry, she moved back to Canada, bought a house in Pickering and fell in love with and married a man named Mark, who had two sons from a previous marriage. But soon after, she was diagnosed with lupus, which explained her aching joints and breathing difficulties. When Elizabeth received the diagnosis, she left the office, burst into tears and called her mother: “I’ll never be able to have kids!” She was 38. The doctor disagreed, however, and Elizabeth did get pregnant, but she miscarried three times . One of those times, she miscarried twins.

She and her husband considered IVF, but it was too expensive, and adoption felt right. The adoption process took a year of interviews and a lengthy, privacy-invading home study. A week after they were approved to adopt, when the nursery had been painted pink in the hopes of a girl, Elizabeth found out she was pregnant. One of the first calls she made was to the adoption agency, to regretfully back out. The lupus made hers a high-risk pregnancy, so she spent much of the next nine months at a clinic in Toronto to make sure she stayed in remission.

A woman who has a child past age 40 has a slightly higher risk of having a medically complicated pregnancy, contending with issues like high blood pressure, diabetes and early labour, usually culminating in a C-section. And babies born to older mothers may have an increased chance of developing birth defects, especially Down syndrome. Early on, Elizabeth was apprised of the health risks posed for her child, but it wasn’t a deterrent. “I didn’t care about what kind of baby I was going to get. My feeling is that God gives you what you can handle. We were going to figure it out.”

After 12 hours of induced labour, Graham was delivered with forceps (“I feel like we could have done that at hour eight,” Elizabeth says dryly). She had just turned 41. Asked to describe her son, she lights up: “He’s smart. He’s athletic. He’s very kind. He’s very shy. He’s—everything.”

When Graham was 18 months old, Elizabeth and Mark split. She moved to Toronto and started over with a baby. So her experience of older motherhood is inseparable from her experience of single motherhood , which is also on the rise: 19 percent of Canadian children who are newborn to age 14 live primarily with a single parent, and 80 percent of those kids live with their mothers.

Graham has a good relationship with his dad, who remarried and has since had another son, but Elizabeth is the primary parent. Her plate is full, spilling over the edges, in fact, with parenting, working full-time and keeping her lupus under control. A basket of medications sits above her kitchen sink.

As an older mom, she can’t rely on grandparent support the way her siblings could when they had their kids two decades ago. Now in their 80s, Elizabeth’s parents are—knock on wood (she does)—relatively healthy. But her mother could sled and play road hockey with her first grandkids, and she physically can’t with Graham. One offshoot of delayed parenting is the fact that grandparents are often absent , either dead or physically limited, a phenomenon one Time magazine columnist bemoaned as “the grandparent deficit.”

But the concept of the nuclear family with the grandparents next door was really a postwar blip, and in the age of gay parenting, common-law partnerships and thruples, family is custom-built. Elizabeth has compensated for the gaps in her own reality—no partner, less hands-on grandparenting—by leaning on her sister and brother-in-law, and teaming up with a couple of older single moms she met through Little League. They share meals and driving duties, and commiserate about the kids, who all hang out. They even vacation together.

Despite the red hair and a face that looks more than a decade younger than 51, Elizabeth does get The Question: “Oh, is he your son?” with the emphasis on “son,” as in, “not grandson.” “He’s mixed race, so I don’t know sometimes whether they’re asking if he’s biologically my child or if I’m his grandmother,” she says. “But I cut it off. I’m kind of proud. Like, ‘Nope, I’m his mom.”’

Elizabeth brings her folding chair to every single one of Graham’s baseball games and gets very excited when he hits a home run. “Maybe too excited,” she admits. But she doesn’t overschedule him , and her parenting style is pretty relaxed, which may be an older parent thing, too. “I just see the bigger picture. ‘This, too, shall pass’ is my favourite expression.” She makes healthy lunches. She enlists a French tutor. “I’m lucky I can afford it,” she says, a fact she attributes to being established professionally before she had Graham.

But if she does the math (which she does sometimes, late at night), when he graduates from university, she’ll be in her mid-60s. She works hard to stay healthy, buying only organic food, doing her 30-minute workout video most days. “I have a huge amount of anxiety over something happening to me. I get emotional. I can feel the tears coming into my eyes—I just almost get sick to my stomach at the thought of…” Tears do begin to well up, but she pulls them back. “So I’m going to live to 90. That’s the only solution.”

Motherhood is a shape-shifter, a construct that reflects and refracts its era and milieu. Today, our lifespans are longer, so we’re young longer, and we live—and mother—like we’re younger, too. The boomers decided not to age, and the mentality stuck: youth won. Readily available hair dye and injections make middle age harder to identify. Age levelling continues with technology, where information and cultural references travel back and forth across generational lines; social media ushers experiences out of silos for the sharing. We probably know more about our parents’ lives, both inner and outer, than they knew about their parents’ lives.

As the distance between the old and the young collapses, it doesn’t seem so strange to have kids later. The ultimate sign of allegiance to youth is, of course, bearing children, like Halle Berry (46 when she had her second baby) and Rachel Weisz (48 when she had her second). “It keeps you young” is something women who have kids later in life are often told, and it actually might.

Tim Pychyl, a professor of psychology at Carleton University in Ottawa, calls himself “Dinosaur Dad” because at age 63, he has a 15- and a 12-year-old. (His academic area of expertise: procrastination.) “It changes what aging means if you engage in the life tasks of the young,” he says over the phone, having just made pancakes and dropped his eldest at school. “When you’re in your 60s, it’s often the time to be winding down, disconnecting from the world. But I’m deeply engaged in the life tasks of a fortysomething. Psychologically, I’m younger.”

But, of course, no matter how young one behaves, biology is a fact and fertility is limited. The problem for women is that the optimal time to reproduce collides with the optimal time to get educated and build a career . Considering the realities of having kids today, delaying parenthood is a pragmatic move. Political bluster about universal child care tends to disappear after elections, and in overpriced cities and uncertain economies, the cost of raising a kid (on average in Canada, some $260,000 from birth to age 18) requires economic stability.

Elizabeth Gregory, director of the women’s, gender and sexuality program at the University of Houston, writes in her book Ready: Why Women Are Embracing the New Later Motherhood that women who become moms later earn higher salaries than women of the same age who had their children earlier. In effect, older moms often avoid the “wage penalty” of young motherhood. Being settled, financially and professionally, before having kids is used to guarantee security when the system doesn’t.

Women today are also likely to have multiple partners throughout their lives, so they often don’t settle on which one they want to have kids with until later. Natalie Grunberg-Ferreira, a teacher and small-business owner in Victoria, dated through her twenties and never met the right person.

“I wanted, at the end of my life, to be surrounded by kids, this loving family, like my dad was when he died. I had a good family growing up, and I wanted that connection.” At 37, she froze her eggs and “shelved them,” she says. When she still hadn’t met anyone at 40, Natalie used a donor from an American sperm bank (a Jewish guy who included a touching essay with his donor profile; someone she would have dated if he wasn’t 26) to create two embryos. “I was tired of having my life revolve around a man. At 40, I decided, ‘I’m going to make my own family.’” Her mother helped her with the financial hit: about $25,000 in total. But then, six months before the planned embryo transfer, she met Philip—a tattooed hairdresser—and they began a relationship. Fifty-three, with two grown kids, he was open to parenting with Natalie. A few months later, he was by her side when the transfer was performed. They married in their backyard last summer, when the baby, Arieh, was three months old .

“I got the family I always wanted. I wish more women knew about egg freezing,” says Natalie. But when she looks back on the experience of becoming an older mother, she gets a little pissed off. “People talk about egg freezing as if it’s a selfish thing women do, putting their careers first. But men don’t seem to be aware of the biological clock, and so we have to do all that work—the emotional and physical planning, the financial output. No one looks at men and says, ‘It’s irresponsible for you to be waiting because there are all these women out there with biological needs.’”

Tammy Chomiak and her wife used a sperm donor too, and Tammy went through six unsuccessful rounds of insemination, a gut-wrenching experience. With IVF, Tammy did get pregnant, giving birth to a daughter at 37 and a son at 38. Now she’s 40 with two kids under three. Sometimes, in groups of moms in their mid-20s (she lives in Maple Ridge, B.C., where she’s observed that moms seem to have their kids younger than in Vancouver), she’ll feel a bit older, a touch awkward. They have different cultural shorthand; a decade between life experiences. But Tammy is certain those extra years she had before motherhood serve her and her kids now—she has what psychologists identify as the advantage of “emotional preparedness.” “I don’t think I fully knew myself until I was in my 30s. I’m a bit wiser, a bit smarter, a bit slowed down. You’re not partying anymore; you’re more into being at home. I think knowing who I am helps me parent.”

Older moms may be happier , but what about their children? When Brenda Reynolds was 44, with two fully grown kids, ages 18 and 22, she found out she was pregnant. She visited her doctor with stomach cramps and bloating, only to discover she was 23 weeks along. This was a shock; an earlier pregnancy test had been negative. The night before giving birth, she spent time at Walmart with her son, shopping for supplies to accompany him to college. Today, she’s a part-time real estate agent in the small southern Ontario town of Coldwater and the 50-year-old mother of five-year-old Jax, a Tasmanian devil of a kid (he stops running for intermittent Lego and YouTube sessions only). Brenda and her husband, who is 60 and became a grandfather from a first marriage when Jax was one week old, are exhausted. That’s not to say that it isn’t fun: Brenda loves her son’s sly sense of humour and relishes her reunion with forgotten domestic pleasures like back-to-school shopping and baking. With her first kids, Brenda was a single mom working three jobs—now she has more time to devote to Jax. But Brenda’s mother, who is blind, lives down the street and needs daily visits and hours-long drives to Toronto for treatments. Brenda hasn’t had a vacation in years. Some friends have vanished. People her age aren’t talking about feedings and nap times; they’re discussing cashing in their RRSPs. Sometimes when they’re all out together, her now 24-year-old daughter gets mistaken for Jax’s mom. But most of all, Brenda worries about what it’s like for Jax to have older parents, about the stresses he’ll invariably face as his parents age or, worse, pass away.

And yet, most research suggests long-term outcomes for children born to older parents are positive: Because they are more likely to have a favourable home environment, with economic and emotional stability, they are more likely to exhibit high levels of self-sufficiency in adulthood. One study of 1.5 million Swedes concluded that children of older parents are less likely to drop out of high school, are more likely to go on to post-secondary education and tend to perform better on standardized tests than their older siblings. They may even—and this is odd—be taller than the children of younger parents.

Kaffko has been a counsellor for over 25 years and doesn’t worry about older parents’ effect on child development . “I have never counselled a child with issues because of having older parents. If there’s conflict in the home, that’s the issue, not age.”

These findings may not placate anyone who frowns upon older parenting, caught in what Elizabeth Gregory calls “the yuck factor.” At the heart of discomfort with the idea of older mothers is, in our youth-venerating culture, a set of assumptions about aging: that it’s negative, gross, the end of the sex that leads to reproduction. Pychyl has a more positive outlook. “The question of ‘Is it good or bad to be an older parent?’ bangs on notions of normality and ageism. We have this normative idea of development in our society,” he says. “Kids who grow up with older parents are going to be more accepting and understanding of age. It won’t be long before we start thinking differently about this altogether.”

I think of that when I’m at Elizabeth’s apartment and Graham comes in after school. He’s wearing a Toronto toque and carrying a drooping backpack. Shyly, he listens a bit while his mother and I talk, dangling a ribbon above his cat, Molly. Tomorrow, Elizabeth will be joining his class on a field trip to a museum, and he’s working out who will be in his group for exploring ancient Rome (Gabriel, Colin and someone else, he forgets who). I ask him what his mom is like, and he smiles: “Crazy. She laughs a lot!” He lists fun things they do together—watching Lemony Snicket , going to Cuba, hanging out.

I tell him we had been talking about his mother being older. “Yeah, some of the other moms are younger,” he says thoughtfully. Does it matter? I ask him. “No,” he says, looking at me like it’s a really weird question.

Read more: 8 things not to say to an older mom with a baby After you turn 40, being a mom gets better than ever

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Is it better to have older or younger parents?

Parents are very important in all the stages of life. They are near you, taking care of you since you were only a child. But your family would be very different depending on the age of your parents, is it better to have young or old parents? The obvious ly thing of this is that if you have younger parents you will be able to spend more time with them in life than if they were very old. In addition, having younger parents can be funnier ( more fun ) too. For example, you are more likely to have common interests and hobbies if you are close in age. You have a similar mind and it's easy that your parents can understand you. On the other hand, older parents have advantages too. They have lived more experiences so they can give you better advices that can help you with your problems. They are settled down and you have a role model or people to look up to. In my opinion, these points are only general reasons. If it is better to have younger or older parents depends on each person. The most important is getting on well with your parents because they can support you a lot.

Great text.. Minor notes::

*  taking care of you::   The sentence is missing an object that is 'taking care of ....'

*  funnier vs. (more fun):: Funnier implies something humorous causing laughter.

More fun, implies to enjoy something pleasurable.

Subtle differences, but from the context a readier would assume you mean the later.

*  have lived more experiences::  Your sentence is correct, but it's better to ommit  lived.

The main focus of the sentence is on the experiences, which gives you a stronger meaning without shifting the meaning away from their old age.

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The truth about parenting: older kids are much more rewarding than babies

by Noel Murray

Not long before my wife and I had our first child, we had dinner with another married couple — both writers — who at the time had a toddler of their own. I asked them for some advice. Instead, they gave me a caution. "Don't write about your kid," they said. "Being a parent is going to change your life, and it's all you're going to be able to think about. You're going to want to turn those experiences and feelings into words. But there's nothing you can say that hasn't been said already, and probably better."

I have two children now — a son and a daughter, both adolescents — and over the past decade-plus, I've ignored my friends' advice on multiple occasions. My son, who's on the autism spectrum , has inspired about a half-dozen or so essays (which isn't that excessive, given that he's now 14); and I've penned the occasional piece about my daughter, who shares a lot of my nerdy enthusiasms. Still, every time I sit down to write about children or parenting, I remember that conversation from 15 years ago.

I think about it even more during my daily perusal of the internet, which sometimes seems choked with articles penned by new moms and dads, all feeling overwhelmed and transformed — just as I once was, and just as our friends warned me I'd be.

Outside of websites specifically devoted to raising kids, the published discourse about child rearing in the mainstream media seems dominated by panicked think pieces, many of the "Holy crap, what just happened to my life?" variety.

Type "having a baby" into Google, and auto-complete suggests "changes everything." That search then turns up 14 million hits and page after page of laments about how infants and toddlers mess up work, sleep, TV watching, sex, being a cool person ... you name it.

All these heaping piles of verbiage serve a purpose. They're therapeutic for the author, undoubtedly. And for anyone dealing with similar situations — and unaware of the millions of words that have been penned on the topic over the centuries — stumbling on an article that articulates that vague sense of dissatisfaction can be both reassuring and revelatory.

Plus, some of those pieces are good! Gifted writers can transform even the most played-out subject into something worthwhile. My friend Nathan Rabin, for example, writes movingly and entertainingly about being a stay-at-home dad at the website Mom.me. (In fact, if you're an acquaintance of mine and you've ever written one of these kinds of pieces, let's just pretend that I'm not talking about you, if only for the sake of cordiality.)

But the preponderance of these articles reminds me a little of what eco-essayist Bill McKibben has written about our excess of professional nature photography. We really don't need all that many new pictures of birds and bears each year, because there's really not much new to see. And in the process of tramping through the wilderness to get the prettiest shot, photographers could be harming habitats and warping our understanding of the environment.

I don't think parenting essays are destroying childhood. But I do wonder if the glut of anxious "oh no, what now?" articles gives the wrong idea about what raising kids is like.

Here, to my mind, is the problem:

Early childhood is just one chapter in a long, long book

Every parent's experiences are different, with ebbs and flows of joy and despair that hit at different times. But by and large, new mothers and fathers endure three distinct patches of deep, deep regret:

1) During the first few months, when the novelty's worn off and the baby becomes a noisy, smelly lump of unhappiness.

2) Around the age of 2, when the barely articulate toddler still needs help with almost everything, and gets sloppy drunk on the power of ordering adults around.

3) Around the age of 3, when the child's growing independence has him or her questioning whether mealtime etiquette or sleeping schedules must be respected.

More on parenting

9 things I wish I'd known before I became a stay-at-home mom

Each of these phases seems to last forever. But they're really more like a few months, with the occasional relapse. (The relapses are the worst.) Babies become more likable once they start to smile, at which point getting up in the middle of the night to take care of them becomes more rewarding. Toddlers are maddening because they can be sweet one minute and satanic the next, but if parents hold the line on discipline and structure, eventually nature takes its course. Children mature.

Parents, too, grow into the job. What might initially seem unnatural — like being charged with sustaining the life of a tiny human being — becomes second nature through repetition. Later, as children become more capable of feeding, dressing, cleaning, and entertaining themselves, their moms and dads get back small chunks of time that they hadn't even noticed they'd been losing to daily child maintenance. Suddenly they can read a long book again, or catch up on their Netflix queue.

Then, guess what? If all goes well, those folks get to spend 15 or so more years living in a home alongside reasonably well-behaved sons and daughters, who develop personalities and passions of their own and become active participants in whatever adventures the family has.

So to sum up: That's roughly three or four years of mind-numbing kiddie shows and young parents feeling like they're losing their identities, followed by a lifetime of rich, often highly rewarding relationships, marked by some of the most lasting memories that anyone can make.

Which of these stages of parenting really deserves more emphasis?

Obsessing over exhaustion and existential anxiety scares off potential parents

I have many friends who don't have kids — some intentionally, some not — and I'd never tell any of them that having children is a crucial, essential part of the human experience. Life offers a lot of opportunities. Being a parent is just one of a multitude of possible paths; and it's one that comes with costs and limitations that many are just fine doing without.

But while it's presumptuous (and rude) to say, "Oh, you'll change your mind one day" to anyone who insists they don't want kids, the reason why the childless-by-choice deal with doubters is that people do change their minds, all the time. I've known plenty who were once adamant about never becoming a parent until one day, almost out of the blue, they started to entertain the possibility.

So this bit is directed at those who are warming to the idea of spawning, and not to those who are a hard "nope." Don't hesitate just because the early years have such bad PR. All those essays from new moms who worry that they lack maternal instincts? Or from new dads who complain that they haven't gone out to a bar with their buddies in months? They're undoubtedly coming from a place of sincerity — and the experiences they relate are genuine — but the perspective is often limited.

It's never a bad idea to be prepared for all the downsides of something so life-changing. But if you're curious whether you should see a movie, never lean too heavily on the opinion of someone who's only seen the first five minutes.

Focusing on the very young shortchanges their older peers

Boys and girls develop quirks and habits fairly early, but it's nothing like what happens later on, when they become artsy 8-year-olds, bookish 10-year-olds, athletic 12-year-olds, or what have you. Little kids turn their folks' brains to mush because they require a lot of dull routine, which — coupled with how demanding they can be — can make them, frankly, kind of hard to like sometimes.

It's this side of children that's too often the public face of youth. Either the little ones themselves are making a scene in a restaurant or airport or their parents are writing exasperated blog posts about them. The quieter, calmer, more multifaceted kids don't get the same kind of exposure, either out in the world or on the web.

10 things I want to teach my autistic son before he goes to college

The non-print media doesn't help in this regard. In sitcoms and TV dramas — or at least those not aimed at preadolescents — children are typically presented as obnoxiously precocious, whiny, and self-absorbed. It's not hard to trace a line from the popular depiction of annoying toddlers and snotty teens to the pervasive complaints about spoiled, egotistical "millennials," who've been warped by years of technology-aided instant gratification and our convoluted, coddling educational system.

And that's incredibly unfair. What I see every day — not just with my son and daughter but with their classmates — is a rising generation that's kind, curious, and creative, making amazing use of resources I never had at their age. Yes, they're glued to their phones, but on those screens these kids are talking to each other, taking quizzes, reading the news, or sharing things they've made ... all traits of well-rounded individuals.

There are upsides aplenty to parenting kids once they get over the toddler hump: teaching them about life and culture, reliving some of the best experiences of youth through their eyes, curating their experiences of holidays, and so on. Plus, as children age they typically get smarter and funnier, and develop actual talents. Soccer games and school concerts are a grind at the elementary level; later, they're a genuine pleasure.

It's easy to groan about the awfulness of "these kids today," but getting to know them personally reveals another, more hopeful story. If nothing else, it shows that there are plenty of reasons to feel good about our leaders of tomorrow.

Who knows this? Parents do, whether they write it down for posterity or not.

There are so many other tales to tell

Here's something else that many parents know: Nearly every age between 4 and 14 is "a great age." And there are even extended stretches of babyhood and toddlerhood that are absolutely delightful. (Babies who sleep through the night, nap twice a day, and can sit up and play enthusiastically when they're awake? They're the absolute best.)

I don't mean to give the impression that everything goes smoothly after the age of 4 for every parent — or any parent. Kids can be the source of all kinds of worry: They cost money, they get sick, they wreck the house, they pick fights with their siblings, they get bullied, they have their hearts broken, and they have all kinds of other problems that get piled onto whatever else adults are going through. And sometimes, no matter how much they love each other, the generations just butt heads, day after day.

My own children are in their early teenage years, which means there are challenges ahead that I haven't faced yet. But while there's plenty of writing out there about raising teens — in self-help books, family magazines, and blogs — it's more of the "dos and don'ts" variety. Once kids are old enough to get report cards, there seems to be a lot less soul searching by their folks.

And that's all I'm really seeking: a little variety. There's nothing inherently wrong with writers having the umpteenth insight into the dreadful grind of the terrible twos. But every time I come across one of the articles, I want it to be accompanied by the same author tackling the subject of parenting four, six, and 10 years later. I want the follow-ups. Because from personal experience and thousands of other articles, by now I'm pretty sure I know how those toddler years are going to go.

Noel Murray is a freelance writer living in Arkansas with his wife and two kids. His articles about film, TV, music, and comics appear regularly in the A.V. Club, Rolling Stone, and the Los Angeles Times.

First Person is Vox's home for compelling, provocative narrative essays. Do you have a story to share? Read our submission guidelines , and pitch us at [email protected] .

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Good Essay About Are Older People Better Parents

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Topic: Adult , Night , Children , Time , Parents , Life , Family , Students

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Published: 03/05/2020

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Introduction

Since time immemorial, couples aspire to become parents. Parenthood is viewed as many different things to different people, some consider it the happiest time of their lives, some consider it a challenge then there are those couples who consider it a burden placed upon them to teach a lesson or to mature them. The idea that some people who should never be parents actually become parents is very upsetting. Some people become parents way before their time, and their struggle is more than they can handle. There are some couples who want and aspire to become parents, but cannot due to several known issues such as infertility, timing, work, lack of concept of work & family or just plain bereft of wanting any for lack of a better phrase. Incidentally, some people might also argue that younger people becoming parents is a true test of their compatibility while others argue that older people make better parents because they have more to offer than parents of a younger status. Reason has always been the focal point of this discussion, and a lot of people become very bias about it due to the fact that some argue in favor of the younger generation parents vs. older generation parents. In the days of old, it used to be that if a person knew where they were going in life, they automatically held the keys to parenthood. However, in today’s society, the truth is far less designed and complicated. So, the question being begged today is, are older people better parents, the answer, a big emphatic yes. There are several factors that validly back this up which this assignment will illustrate.

Older parents are more financially stable, and their ability to provide for the child is second to none. Moreover, baby formula is getting more and more expensive these days and a lot of people can barely afford it even if they are working a job or two; it can add up pretty quickly. Older parents are able to get whatever the baby needs without any kind of help, and the baby will always have access to the best medical care that the older parents can afford. As the saying goes, taking care of a baby is a big and expensive responsibility; it is a responsibility that older parents feel strongly that they are ready for. When the child grows up, older parents will definitely have the means to get that child whatever it needs whether it is a new backpack for preschool or algebraic calculator for high school or putting money toward paying off the college dorm room for college. Older parents are better suited and better providers for children because there is nothing holding down their money except for bills, but older parents who feel ready to have a baby do not worry about the pressures that the younger generation face. Overall, what makes older people better parents is that they are responsible. You will never hear stories of older parents leaving their children in a grocery store or accidentally leaving them out on the porch in the blazing hot sun and you will also never hear stories about how an older parent strangled their child to death because the child would not stop crying. Older people give a child exactly what they need, and older parents leave little room for doubt that they are capable of taking care of their child or children. For example, a younger couple who are not very secure in their finances might run into a problem buying the baby pampers. Older people who become parents are very financially stable and can buy those pampers with ease, money is not an issue for them because they not only become set in their ways, but older people know how to make smart investments especially if they decide to try for having children in their early 40s which a lot of them are.

Older people are more patient with the child then that of a younger person dealing with a child, younger people tend to forget that having a child take patience. Older people are already aware of this fact because some of them are grandparents who are dealing with their children’s children, and older people take from that and feel that they are ready to become parents themselves. Joanna Montgomery stated in 2013 that becoming a parent in a person’s 40s make them more emotionally mature to handle that child vs. having the child in their early to mid-20s and have not worked past the “it is all about me issues” Older people are more outwardly focused and can put that focus more toward the child and giving that child what they need, older people make better parents because they can think more about what the child needs instead of what they need as people. For example, a 20s something parent will say that they need to get their nails done or get a haircut or even get those 20 pack air heads. An older person would get the baby’s haircut, nails trimmed and additionally those 20 pack air heads if that child could chew it. Make no mistake, there are some parents in their 20s who are very mature and do a very good job taking care of their child or children. However, young couples in their 20s are met with several hindrances that older people who become parents are not affected by such as food, a place to sleep, buying necessary things for the baby without government help or even making sure that the baby is taken care of health wise. If a child wakes up in the middle of the night, a young couple are likely to complain about how much sleep they are and are not getting per night, and might take some of that out on the child. Older people who become parents are more open and sympathetic to the child, and will cater their schedules around that child instead of trying to find different ways to get their sleep instead of taking care of the child they created. Older people who become parents understand that having patience with children will pay off later.

Most couples tend to ignore the fact that being mentally able to take care of a child is all there is to raising said child or children, but there is more to it than that. Older people make better parents because they are more mentally mature, and do not worry about what they are missing or who got into kicked out of what club. Older people are at the age where they do not worry about what is going on in their distant or close friends’ lives, they only care about what is going on in their child’s life. Case in point, a younger parent is scrambling to find a babysitter to sit with their child for a few hours so they can go out drinking with their friends and reminisce about the good times as well as act a fool. Older people who become parents have made peace with who they were back in their younger days as well as who they once were, they are not clamoring for a break from their child. They look to spend every single minute with their child or children, watching them grow up, take their first steps, taking their first bites of baby food. Younger parents tend to not want to care about going out as much, but admittedly, some do miss it and try to relive their glory days. Dr. Vicki Panaccione makes it perfectly clear in 2011 that younger parents lack the means to take care of a child, and are somewhat resentful of the sacrificial altars upon which they are forced to lay their lives. Older parents tend to be more homebody-like, and well set in their ways which is good for the child because the older parents have more time to spend with that child instead of looking for places to go every night. A person does not see an older parent talking on the phone at all hours of the day, noon and night. They work toward getting that child in bed at a reasonable hour, and check on him or her briefly. Older people make better parents because they are not afraid of the physical, and mental sacrifice that goes into contributing to that child’s growth as well as their development. Older parents want to always be a part of their child’s life so they do not miss anything in it.

Parents come in all genders and sizes, but the contribution that they make to their child is what determines what a good parent is. Younger people can only become better parents if they are willing to sacrifice everything to be a parent to that child, older people are better parents because they not only have life experience to offer that child, but they also have the skills to further teach that child things so they can get ahead in school; only an older parent can teach that child that. Older people are better parents because of the life that they want now vs. the life they used to have in the past.

Works Cited

Montgomery, Joanna . "5 Big Perks of Being an Older Parent & 5 Big Misses." . The Stir, 7 Mar. 2013. Web. 18 June 2014. <http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/152191/5_big_perks_of_being>. Panaccione, Vicki . "." . Better Parenting Institute, 11 Jan. 2011. Web. 18 June 2014. <http://www.betterparentinginstitute.com/Better-Parenting/parenting-child-raising-skills/advantages-of-being-older-parents/>.

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The Psychology Behind Generational Conflict

Older people have groused about younger people for millennia. Now we know why

Ted Scheinman

Senior Editor

Complaining about the young is a longstanding prerogative of the old; just as baby boomers and Gen X’ers today lament the shortcomings of millennials and Gen Z, parents in the 1920s looked askance at their flapper daughters, the mothers of pre-revolutionary France pooh-poohed their “effeminate” sons, and so on back to the fourth century B.C. and Aristotle, who said of Greece’s young people: “They think they know everything, and are always quite sure about it.”

Now, some 2,500 years later, researchers are offering a pair of psychological explanations for this recurring complaint, or what they call the “kids these days effect.” In studies involving 3,458 Americans ages 33 to 51 recruited and evaluated online, John Protzko and Jonathan Schooler of the University of California, Santa Barbara, measured respondents’ authoritarian tendencies, intelligence and enthusiasm for reading. “While people may believe in a general decline,” the researchers observed in the journal Science Advances , “they also believe that children are especially deficient on the traits in which they happen to excel.”

Authoritarian people, it turns out, are more likely to suspect that today’s youth are lacking in respect for authority, while well-read people are more likely to bemoan that kids these days never seem to be reading. More intelligent people are also more likely to say that young people are getting stupider—a remarkable conviction, given decades of rising intelligence domestically and globally.

At the heart of this denigrating effect is flawed memory, Protzko and Schooler say. Sometimes older people mistakenly recall that kids in the past were more accomplished than today’s kids, who suffer by comparison. “People in their 20s and 30s are going to grow up looking at kids and thinking they’re deficient,” Protzko says. So, while the baby boomers continue to weather volleys of “OK, boomer” from youngsters who blame them for despoiling the earth, older Americans can take comfort in knowing that members of Generation Z will one day hear the inevitable: “OK, zoomer.”

Get the latest Science stories in your inbox.

Ted Scheinman | | READ MORE

Ted Scheinman is a senior editor for Smithsonian magazine. He is the author of Camp Austen: My Life as an Accidental Jane Austen Superfan .

Old Versus Young: The Cultural Generation Gap

Younger, more diverse generations promise to change all aspects of American society.

In this Issue:

• Winter 2018 View All Other Issues
• Generations: People are living and working longer—changing the world
• Six Generations Moving Forward Together
• Crunch: Definining Generations
• Foreword: How Are Generations Named?
• The Generation Gap
• Getting More From a Longer Life
• Five Questions: Teaching the Next Generation
• Lessons From the Greatest Generation
• As the World Ages
• Generation X and the American Dream
• Millennials Aren’t Kids Anymore
• View All Other Issues

If demography is destiny, the United States—much more than its peers—is on the cusp of great change. That change is due to a deep cultural generation gap at play, which will alter all aspects of American society within the coming decade.

Driving this generational gap is a “diversity explosion” in the United States, which began in 2011 when, for the first time in the history of the country, more minority babies than white babies were born in a year. Soon, most children in the U.S. will be racial minorities: Hispanics, blacks, Asians, and other nonwhite races. And, in about three decades, whites will constitute a minority of all Americans. This milestone signals the beginning of a transformation from the mostly white baby-boom culture that dominated the nation during the last half of the 20th century to the more globalized, multiracial country that the United States is becoming.   

As the younger, more diverse part of the population reaches adulthood, clear gaps will develop between its economic interests and politics and those of the whiter, older generations . This divide will result in contests over local expenditures—for example, over whether to spend money on schools or senior health facilities—and those contests may evolve into culture clashes. Yet if demography is truly destiny, America's workforce, politics, and place on the world stage will soon be changed forever.

Data Points

America's “new minorities”—particularly Hispanics and Asians —are becoming an increasingly strong thread in the social fabric of the United States. While this has been growing clearer for some time, recent information from the census and elsewhere shows how quickly these minorities are transforming the character of the nation’s youth. Consider the change in the U.S. population under age 18 in the first decade of the 2000s: From 2000 to 2010, the population of white children declined by 4.3 million while the child population in each of the newer minority groups—Hispanics, Asians, and people of two or more races—increased. Hispanics registered the largest absolute increase in children , 4.8 million. Were it not for Hispanics, the nation’s child population would have declined. And in 2010, slightly more than half of children under age 5 were white, while the oldest age group—those 85 and older—was 85 percent white. This diversification of the U.S. population from the bottom up holds more than just demographic significance. It reflects an emerging cultural divide between the young and the old as they adapt to change in different ways. Different age groups represent different generations, which were raised and became adults in specific eras and may be more or less receptive to the cultural changes brought about by new racial groups. 

When viewed broadly, there is a sharp racial distinction between the baby boomers and their elders, and the younger generations—the millennials and young members of Generation X and their children, who constitute the population under the age of 35. Baby boomers and seniors are more than 70 percent white, with blacks representing the largest racial minority. In con-trast, millennials and young Gen Xers (largely under the age of 35) and their children are more than 40 percent minority, with Hispanics constituting the largest share of their minority population. A 2011 Pew Research Center poll shows that only 23 percent of baby boomers and seniors regard the country’s growing population of immigrants as a change for the better and that 42 percent see it as a change for the worse. More than one-half of white baby boomers and seniors said the growing number of newcomers from other countries represents a threat to traditional U.S. values and customs. 

The resistance of baby boomers to demographic change may seem surprising. This much-celebrated generation came to embody the image of middle America during the second half of the last century. Conceived during the prosperous post−World War II period, they brought a rebellious, progressive sensibility to the country in the 1960s, 1970s, and beyond. With the help of the programs of the Great Society, they became the most well-schooled generation to date and the epitome of America’s largely white, suburban middle class, with which most of today’s adults now identify. 

Yet the baby boomers also came of age at a moment when the United States was becoming more insular than it had been before. Growing up in mostly white, segregated suburbs, white baby boomers had less exposure to immigrants and foreign wars than their parents did. Between 1946 and 1964, the years of the baby boom, the immigrant share of the U.S. population shrank to an all-time low (under 5 percent), and the immigrants who did arrive were largely white Europeans. Although baby boomers were interested in righting domestic wrongs, such as racial discrimination, and busting glass ceilings in the workplace, they did not have much interaction with people from other countries. The cultural generation gap continues to appear when baby boomers and seniors are compared with the younger segment of the U.S. population, whose members are more likely to be first- or second-generation Americans of non-European ancestry and to be bilingual.

Between 1946 and 1964, the years of the baby boom, the immigrant share of the U.S. population shrank to an all-time low (under 5 percent), and the immigrants who did arrive were largely white Europeans.

Underpinning the generational divide are shifts in what demographers call old-age dependency (the population age 65 and over as a percent of the labor force–age population) and child dependency (the population under age 18 as a percent of the labor force–age population), which now have a distinct racial dimension. Both historically and internationally, the number of children dependent on the labor force–age population has been larger than the number of dependent retirees. However, in quickly aging countries where birth rates are declining and life expectancy is rising, seniors are increasing the numbers of the “dependent” population. That is of concern in the United States, given that government programs aiding the elderly, including those for medical care, cost substantially more than those aiding children. The cultural generation gap between the young and the old can exacerbate the competition for resources because the rise in the number of senior dependents is occurring more rapidly among whites than among minorities, for whom dependent children is a larger issue.

A look at the total U.S. population helps illustrate this. The growth of the senior population is affected by increased life expectancy and, more importantly, the aging of the baby boomers. From 2010 to 2030, the senior population is projected to grow by 84 percent. In contrast, the labor force–age population (ages 18 to 64) will grow by only 8 percent and the population under age 18 will grow by just 3 percent. Therefore, although new minorities and immigrants are driving the increases in the younger and labor force-age populations, the growth of the senior population is driven by the mostly white baby boomers. The dependency ratios show the shifts expected by 2040. Youth dependency was almost twice the level of old-age dependency in 2010 (38 versus 21) and will increase only slightly during the following three decades, while old-age dependency will rise by well over one-half—making seniors a substantial portion of the non-working-age population.

Yet this shift is far more dramatic for whites than for minorities. The comparison of dependen-cy ratios for whites and Hispanics shows their likely relative priorities with regard to spending on children versus seniors. For whites, youth dependency is lower than the U.S. total and is not much larger than white old-age dependency in 2010 (32 versus 26). In fact, by 2020, the old-age dependency ratio for whites will exceed the child dependency ratio, and for the two decades that follow, white seniors will outnumber white children. That stands in marked contrast to Hispanics, whose 2010 youth dependency ratio was 56 and whose old-age dependency ratio was only 9. Moreover, Hispanic youth dependency will remain well above 40 through 2040, even as the old-age dependency ratio inches up to 22. In other words, for at least the next three decades, Hispanic children will sharply outnumber Hispanic seniors. Although black and Asian youth dependency is not as marked as it is for Hispanics, it remains higher than senior dependency through at least 2030. Therefore there is no question that the primary concern of working-age Hispanics—and to a lesser extent Asians and blacks—will be their children rather than the older dependent population. For working-age whites, elderly dependents will be a primary concern as well as their own future well-being as they enter their retirement years. This demographic framework provides a concrete basis for considering the cultural generation gap and competition for government resources allocated to children and the elderly.

In discussing the long-term political ramifications of the generation gap, political writer Ronald Brownstein has framed it as a divide between “the gray and the brown,” wherein older whites, including aging baby boomers, favor smaller government investment in social support programs except for those, such as Social Security, that directly affect them. For these older voters, big government is associated with higher taxes, which primarily benefit younger demographic groups whose needs they do not fully appreciate. In contrast, surveys show that more diverse youth, particularly millennials, tend to support greater government spending on education, health, and social welfare programs that strongly affect young families and children. 

It is important for retiring baby boomers to understand that the solvency of government-supported retirement and medical care programs is directly dependent on the future productivity and payroll tax contributions of a workforce in which minorities, especially Hispanics, will dominate future growth. There is a well-recognized challenge in providing these future workers with the skills needed to make these contributions, and meeting that challenge requires public investment in education and related services. The dilemma, however, is that the largest government programs that directly benefit the elderly, such as Social Security and Medicare , are mostly financed by the federal government and are considered politically sacred by many. In contrast, programs for youth, such as education, are largely funded at the state and local levels and are far more vulnerable to economic downturns and budget cuts given that states, unlike the federal government, are required to balance their budgets annually. Therefore efforts to muster support for child-oriented programs require grassroots support across an often frag-mented political terrain. In the future, more young minorities will enter their prime voting years and both national political parties will need to balance the needs and concerns of new and old voters, particularly in regions of the country where the cultural generation gap is emerging.

"The cultural generation gap between the young and the old can exacerbate the competition for resources because the rise in the number of senior dependents is occurring more rapidly among whites than among minorities, for whom dependent children is a larger issue."

Although this gap is forming throughout the nation, the growth of the young new minority population and the steadier gains of the aging white population are occurring at different speeds in different regions. The most racially diverse and youthful populations are in states and met-ropolitan areas in the Southwest, Southeast, and major urban immigration centers where new minorities have had an established presence. A shorthand measure for what is happening in a state or metropolitan area is the difference between the percentage of seniors who are white and the percentage of children who are white. In 2010, 80 percent of the U.S. senior population and 54 percent of children were white, so the national gap was 26 percent. But among states, Arizona led the way, with a gap of 41 percent (83 percent of seniors and 42 percent of children were white). Nevada, California, New Mexico, Texas, and Florida were not far behind, with gap measures greater than 30. Among major metropolitan areas, the largest gaps were in Riverside, California; Phoenix; Las Vegas; and Dallas.

In contrast, large—mostly white—swaths of the country, including the noncoastal Northeast, Midwest, and Appalachia, are observing slow growth or even declines in their youth popula-tions while remaining home to large numbers of white baby boomers and seniors. The demo-graphic profiles of these regions, along with those of metropolitan areas such as Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, and St. Louis, will eventually converge with those of more diverse parts of the country. But in the interim, they will be adapting, often fitfully, to the changes occurring elsewhere. 

Still, the places where the cultural generation gap has generated the most contention are those where the gains in new minorities are large and recent. Arizona is emblematic because of its large gap and recent Hispanic growth of 175 percent from 1990 to 2010. In 2010, the state passed one of the strictest anti-immigration laws ever enacted, though it was later amended and portions of the law were struck down by the U.S. Supreme Court. Provisions included requirements that residents carry papers verifying their citizenship; if they did not, they would be subject to arrest, detention, and potential deportation. 

A statewide poll taken at the time split along racial lines: Sixty-five percent of whites but only 21 percent of Hispanics were in favor of the new law. Similarly, the law was favored by 62 percent of those 55 and older (across all races) but only 45 percent of those under 35. Later, other states with recent Hispanic or new immigrant population gains, including Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, and Utah, proposed similarly strict immigration laws. 

As young new minorities continue to disperse outward from traditional gateways, the cultural generation gap will appear in communities of all sizes, but it will be widest in states where the growth of young minorities is new and the racial demographic profile of the younger generation differs most from that of the older generation.

Thus, on a variety of levels, the continuing spread of new minorities from the bottom up of the nation’s age distribution creates important opportunities for the growth and productivity of the nation’s population and workforce. But that spread also presents challenges in light of the sharp cultural shift that is taking place. The divide will require adaptation on all sides, and policymakers and citizens alike will need to approach these changes with a long view. Rather than seeing the inevitable changes as damaging to the American way of life, it will behoove the nation to consider the future of the country and prepare now for a country that will be majority-minority. 

William H. Frey is a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution and research professor with the Population Studies Center and Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan. He is author of Diversity Explosion: How New Racial Demographics Are Remaking America, from which this essay is adapted.

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Language: English | German

Advantages of later motherhood

Vorteile später mutterschaft, m. myrskylä.

1 Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research, Konrad-Zuse-Straße 1, 18057 Rostock, Germany

2 London School of Economics and Political Science, London, UK

3 University of Helsinki, Helsinki, Finland

4 Stockholm University, Stockholm, Sweden

In high-income countries childbearing has been increasingly postponed since the 1970s and it is crucial to understand the consequences of this demographic shift. The literature has tended to characterize later motherhood as a significant health threat for children and parents.

We contribute to this debate by reviewing recent evidence suggesting that an older maternal age can also have positive effects.

Literature linking the age at parenthood with the sociodemographic characteristics of the parents, with macrolevel interactions, and with subjective well-being.

Comprehensive review of the existing literature.

Recent studies show that there can also be advantages associated with later motherhood. First, whilst in past older mothers had low levels of education and large families, currently older mothers tend to have higher education and smaller families than their younger peers. Consequently, children born to older mothers in the past tended to have worse outcomes than children born to younger mothers, whilst the opposite is true in recent cohorts. Second, postponement of childbearing means that the child is born at a later date and in a later birth cohort, and may benefit from secular changes in the macroenvironment. Evidence shows that when the positive trends in the macroenvironment are strong they overweigh the negative effects of reproductive ageing. Third, existing studies show that happiness increases around and after childbirth among older mothers, whereas for younger mothers the effect does not exist or is short-lived.

There are important sociodemographic pathways associated with postponement of childbearing which might compensate or even more than compensate for the biological disadvantages associated with reproductive ageing.

Zusammenfassung

Hintergrund.

In Ländern mit hohem Einkommen wird die Realisierung des Kinderwunsches seit den 1970er-Jahren zunehmend verschoben, und es ist wichtig, die Folgen dieses demografischen Wandels zu verstehen. In der Literatur bestand die Tendenz, eine späte Mutterschaft als erhebliches Gesundheitsrisiko für Kinder wie Eltern darzustellen.

Wir leisten einen Beitrag zu dieser Debatte, indem wir neuere Daten überprüfen, die darauf hindeuten, dass ein höheres Alter der Mutter auch positive Auswirkungen haben kann.

Materialien

Literatur, die das Alter zu Beginn der Elternschaft mit den soziodemografischen Merkmalen der Eltern, mit Interaktionen auf Makroebene und mit dem subjektiven Wohlbefinden verknüpft.

Umfassende Überprüfung der vorhandenen Literatur.

Aktuelle Studien zeigen, dass es im Zusammenhang mit einer späteren Mutterschaft auch Vorteile geben kann. Zunächst haben ältere Mütter gegenwärtig tendenziell einen höheren Bildungsabschluss und kleinere Familien als jüngere Mütter, während in der Vergangenheit ältere Mütter ein niedriges Bildungsniveau und große Familien aufwiesen. Bei Kindern älterer Mütter bestand daher in der Vergangenheit ein tendenziell schlechteres Outcome als bei denen jüngerer Mütter, während bei den neuesten Jahrgängen das Gegenteil der Fall ist. Zweitens bedeutet die Verschiebung der Schwangerschaft auf einen späteren Zeitpunkt, dass das Kind in einem späteren Geburtsjahrgang geboren wird und von säkularen Veränderungen in der Makroumgebung profitieren kann. Wenn die positiven Entwicklungen in der Makroumgebung stark genug sind, überwiegen sie nachweislich die negativen Auswirkungen des reproduktiven Alterns. Drittens belegen Studien, dass die Zufriedenheit kurz vor und nach der Geburt des Kindes bei älteren Müttern zunimmt, während dieser Effekt bei jüngeren Müttern überhaupt nicht auftritt oder nur von kurzer Dauer ist.

Schlussfolgerung

Im Zusammenhang mit der verschobenen Realisierung des Kinderwunsches gibt es wichtige soziodemografische Faktoren, welche die biologischen Nachteile des reproduktiven Alterns ausgleichen oder sie sogar mehr als ausgleichen könnten.

In this review we summarise recent research examining how childbearing at older ages affects the health and wellbeing of both the mother and child. Although most research on advanced maternal age focuses on the risks associated with reproductive aging, recent research suggests that older mothers today differ from those in the past, and that there are also benefits to postponing childbearing to older ages. Older mothers today observe better health behaviours during pregnancy, are more socioeconomically advantaged, and seem to be happier after childbearing. Furthermore, the children of older parents in high-income countries have better health and educational outcomes.

Introduction

Being born to an older parent may represent a significant long-term health risk. A century ago, Alexander Graham Bell suggested that children born to older mothers have the shortest lifespan [ 1 ]. According to a recent review, “Parental age has been shown to be a major factor, if not the most important factor, in producing variability in offspring”, including health, longevity and intelligence [ 2 ]. As parental ages are now increasing across the developed world, so are concerns about the health and well-being consequences of postponed parenthood. In Germany and the UK, the mean age at first birth exceeded 30 in 2009. In Sweden, the share of children born to mothers over age 40 quadrupled from 1% in 1970 to 4% in 2010; in the same period, the share of children born to mothers under age 20 declined from 8 to 1% [ 3 ]. The postponement of childbearing has been attributed to the contraceptive pill, the expansion of career opportunities for women, and increasing economic uncertainty [ 4 – 6 ]. The direct demographic consequences of postponement are many, including decreasing period fertility and changes in the population structure.

Postponement of childbearing may have important health and well-being consequences for children and their parents. For example, the risk of negative birth and childhood outcomes—e. g. Down syndrome, childhood cancer and autism—appear to increase with maternal and/or paternal age [ 7 – 9 ]. Less is known about the potential consequences for offspring adult outcomes, but the existing literature suggests that being born to an older mother or father has severe long-term health consequences, most importantly, old age mortality may be elevated among those who are born to older parents [ 10 – 12 ].

Recent literature, however, also documents important benefits and advantages among those who are born to older parents. In addition, emerging evidence suggests that at least some of the previously accepted negative outcomes that have been associated with advanced maternal age may have been overestimated. Finally, research on the parents suggests that late parenthood may be beneficial when compared to early childbearing.

In this paper we review some of the key advantages that are associated with postponement of childbearing, both for the children and for the parents who postpone childbearing. We discuss first how at the individual level, parenthood at an older age tends to be associated with a socioeconomically and behaviourally beneficial profile that may also be advantageous for child development. Second, we summarise research showing how postponement of childbearing may have beneficial effects on the children through a macrolevel mechanism which emerges because postponement means that the child is born at a later date and to a later birth cohort and may therefore live his or her life in a more advanced society than he or she would, had he or she been born to a younger mother and to an earlier cohort. Finally, we discuss the recent evidence that suggests that older mothers and fathers are better able to enjoy parenthood.

Benefits associated with older age parenthood

Older mothers and their sociodemographic and behavioural characteristics.

The socioeconomic and behavioural characteristics of the parents are known to be important determinants of birth outcomes and also later child health and well-being [ 13 – 15 ]. In contemporary high-income societies, older parents may be socioeconomically advantaged when compared to younger parents. There is no evidence that older mothers would have enjoyed a socioeconomically advantageous position historically. Much of the evidence on the association between advanced maternal age and compromised outcomes for the offspring, however, come from historical data sets [ 11 , 16 – 18 ]. It is therefore possible that some of the disadvantage that is attributed to advanced maternal age could be driven by socioeconomic characteristics of the family to which the child is born, and less by age of the mother.

Myrskylä and Fenelon [ 10 ] analysed old-age health, obesity and mortality in the Health and Retirement Study data set that covered individuals born in the 1930s to 1950s in the United States. They documented that those who were born to mothers aged 35 and above had markedly worse overall health, a higher risk of being obese, and a higher risk of death than those that were born to mothers aged 25–34. However, those with older mothers also had mothers with much lower levels of education. For example, among those with maternal age 25–34, 72% had a mother who had at least 8 years of education. Among those with maternal age above 40, only 51% of mothers had at least 8 years of education. Thus in this historical cohort, being born to an older mother was a socioeconomic liability, not an advantage. Consequently, statistical adjustment for lower socioeconomic status among those with older mothers explained up to 30% of the health and mortality disadvantage of those who were born to mothers aged above 35 years.

Goisis et al. [ 19 ] analysed four UK birth cohort studies that covered birth cohorts 1958, 1970, 1992 and 2000–2002 and found that over this period, there were strong changes in the sociodemographic and behavioural characteristics of older mothers. In the 1958 and 1970 birth cohorts, socioeconomic status based on occupation and education was highest in the households in which the mothers were aged 25–34 years at birth. However, in the 1992 and 2000–2002 birth cohorts, socioeconomic status was highest in households in which the mothers were aged 35–39 at birth. Smoking while pregnant was high across all maternal age groups in the 1958 and 1970 birth cohorts, but in the 1992 and 2001 birth cohorts, only slightly more than 10% of mothers aged 35 and above smoked during pregnancy, while approximately 40% of mothers aged 20–24 had smoked during pregnancy. These findings suggest that the sociodemographic disadvantage that was historically associated with older maternal age has not only disappeared, but has turned into a potentially important advantage.

In another study, Goisis et al. [ 20 ] analysed three UK data sets, covering the birth cohorts 1958, 1970 and 2000–2002, with focus on how child cognitive development is associated with advanced maternal age across these cohorts. The striking finding of this cohort analysis is that while in the 1958 and 1970 birth cohorts children that were born to mothers aged 35 and above scored lower in cognitive development tests at age 11 than those born to mothers aged 25–29, in the 2000–2002 birth cohort this disadvantage had reversed to an advantage: those who were born to mothers aged 35 and above scored higher than those who were born to younger mothers. Goisis et al. document that in the 2000–2002 birth cohorts, those with the oldest mothers also had on average lower birth order and higher family socioeconomic status, both of which are associated with a large number of positive child outcomes [ 14 , 21 – 24 ]. These sociodemographic advantages to large extent explained the cognitive ability advantage that was associated with older age motherhood.

Postponement of parenthood and changing environment

Postponement of childbearing may also have beneficial effects on the children through a macrolevel mechanism. Postponement of childbearing means that a child is born at a later date and to a later birth cohort and may therefore live his or her life in a more advanced society than he or she would had he or she been born to a younger mother and to an earlier cohort. Put another way, from the perspective of an individual parent, a mother or father who postpones childbearing by ten years also gives birth a decade later in calendar years. For example, a woman born in 1950 who gave birth at age 30 gave birth in 1980; if she gave birth at age 40, the birth took place in 1990.

Over the course of the 20 th century, and continuing into the 21 st , there have been steady population-level improvements on several measures that are closely related to individual quality of life. One of the most dramatic of these population-level changes has been the increase in life expectancy. Rapidly decreasing mortality rates amongst children in the first half of the 20 th century, and amongst older adults in the second half, have meant that period life expectancy at birth has increased from age 50 in 1900 to over age 80 in 2010 in Sweden, and very similar improvements have been observed across Western Europe, North America and Japan [ 25 – 27 ]. Improvements in cohort life expectancy have been even more dramatic [ 28 ]. Other health-related improvements documented over the course of the 20 th century include steady increases in population-level cognitive ability [ 29 ] and height [ 30 ]. Most countries in Western Europe and North America have also witnessed a remarkable expansion of educational opportunity [ 31 ]; whereas only a tiny minority went to university in the early part of the 20 th century, some countries today see up to 50% of high school graduates making that transition.

Several studies have shown that although advanced maternal and paternal age at childbearing entails increased risks, the population-level improvements over the 20 th century described above seem to counterbalance the risks associated with advanced parental age. After taking period improvements into account, children born to older mothers in Sweden have higher cognitive ability [ 32 ], are taller, have better grades in high school, and achieve greater educational attainment [ 33 ]. Furthermore, children born to older mothers and fathers in Sweden have lower mortality [ 34 ]. Recent research suggests that the ability of rapid period improvements to counterbalance the negative effects of reproductive aging are not limited to high-income countries; in low-income countries that have experienced rapid declines in child mortality, children born to mothers at older ages are substantially more likely to survive childhood [ 35 ]. The key idea here is that a given child will be relatively better off than if that same individual had been born to the same parents at an earlier point in time.

Overall this recent research suggests that parents who have postponed childbearing in the 20 th century have increased the socioeconomic opportunities and health of their children. Any prediction that this association will continue in the future would be based on the assumption that there will continue to be population-level improvements on key measures, such as life expectancy. Although the future is inherently uncertain, the long-term trends in economic growth and declining mortality indicate that future generations will inherit a more prosperous and healthier environment than the one we inhabit today [ 27 ].

Older mothers and maternal well-being

Children may bring with them joy, meaning, and stress and worries. Indeed, the research is very mixed on the topic of whether children overall increase or decrease parental well-being, or happiness: Several studies document that children reduce overall happiness for parents [ 36 , 37 ] but others find that childbearing increases happiness, at least temporarily [ 38 – 40 ]. It is possible that the results are partially mixed in particular because the impact of children on parental well-being is so domain-specific, for example, children are likely to reduce the hedonic aspects of well-being, by for example reducing leisure time, but may strongly contribute to eudaimonic aspects of well-being that are related to fulfilment, meaning and self-realization. How the needs to hedonic and eudaimonic aspects of well-being balance out may strongly depend on age, and on the socioeconomic resources that are available for parents to alleviate the stress that comes with children.

Research on older mothers suggests that women who postpone childbearing are more ‘ready’ and less stressed by having children [ 41 ]. Gregory [ 41 ] argues that older mothers are more ready because they have higher status at work which allows greater financial flexibility, options for childcare and more social capital which ease the transition to parenthood. Margolis and Myrskylä [ 42 ] also found that the association between parenthood and subjective well-being varies strongly with age: it is negative at young ages (<30), but becomes positive at older ages (50+). However, the study [ 42 ] did not include information on the age of mothers at birth, so this study only suggested but did not conclusively show that having children at older ages would be associated with higher subjective well-being.

Myrskylä and Margolis [ 43 ] analysed how global subjective well-being, or happiness, changes over time from before having any children to after having one, two or three children using German and British longitudinal data sets. This study differentiated the patterns by age at first birth and found that among young parents (aged 18–22 years at first birth), happiness tends to decline after the birth of the first child. Among middle-aged parents (age 23–34 years at first birth), a temporary increase in happiness was observed around the time of birth, but happiness declined to prebirth levels within a few years after becoming a parent. Among those who experienced their first birth at ages 35 and above, the happiness trajectory around and after the birth is much more positive: happiness is elevated during the year of the birth, and then despite a small drop, remains at levels that are above those observed when childless. The results were highly similar in both the German and British data sets and suggest that the age at which individuals have their first children is a strong predictor of how much they are able to enjoy parenthood.

The vast majority of the studies that we review here pertain to the era that precedes widespread use of prenatal screening, as well as the use of efficient assisted reproductive technologies. These have both changed and will continue to change the landscape of older age motherhood. Prenatal screening is effectively quality control of the developing foetus, and as developmental and chromosomal abnormalities increase with maternal age but can be at least partially aborted based on prenatal examinations—and individuals have decided to use this opportunity—the negative outcomes that have been associated with advanced maternal age are likely to grow even smaller. This, however, may come with the cost of involuntary childlessness. The rise of assisted reproductive technologies is likely to reduce involuntary childlessness, although it is not clear yet to what extent. This is further complicated by potential overconfidence in the insurance function of procedures such as ‘egg freezing’. Moreover, the health implications of the various assisted reproductive technologies on the children and the parents tend to be largely unknown, and uncovering them continues to be an active and important research agenda.

Conclusions

Since the 1970s, childbearing has been rapidly moving to higher ages and it becoming increasing important to understand the potential negative and positive effects that this transition in childbearing age might have. The epidemiological and medical literature has made great strides in advancing our understanding of ageing of maternal reproductive tract, and how this may influence child outcomes. Most of the evidence on this ageing-based mechanism suggests that older-age motherhood is associated with negative outcomes for the offspring, including lower birth weight, slower cognitive development, and potentially also higher mortality. In this paper we reviewed some of the emerging literature that suggests that older maternal age can also be associated with beneficial outcomes for both the children and the parents. These mechanisms operate mostly through sociodemographic pathways, in contrast to the mechanisms that are related to the physiobiological ageing of the parental reproductive tract.

First, we analysed the literature on the linkage between age at parenthood and socioeconomic and demographic characteristics of the parents. Our survey suggests that still in the early 20 th century and perhaps up to mid-20 th century older mothers had low levels of education and the children that they had at ages 35 and above already had many older siblings. However, by the end of the 20 th century and in the early 21 st century, older mothers tend to have higher education than their younger peers, and their children have only few if any older siblings. This means that currently children that are born to older mothers tend to be born to families of high education, and the family resources are not diluted across a large number of siblings. Consequently, the children that are born to older parents are not disadvantaged the same way as the children with older parents used to be. On the contrary, children with older parents tend to have higher cognitive scores than those with younger parents.

Second, we reviewed the literature that focuses on the interactions between individual level childbearing postponement and changing macrolevel socioepidemiological environment. The core idea in this branch of literature is that postponement of childbearing means that the child is born at a later date and to a different birth cohort, and may therefore benefit from secular changes in the macroenvironment. These studies suggest that the positive trends in the macroenvironment may be so strong that they often overweigh any individual level ageing patterns. For example, increases over birth cohorts in cognitive ability and educational attainment, and decreases in mortality have all been so rapid that even moderately small fertility postponement can have an important impact on child outcomes due to the positive trends in these outcomes.

Third, we surveyed the literature on timing of motherhood and subjective well-being of the mothers. This literature suggests that being “ready” is critically important for the ability to enjoy parenthood. Older maternal age is often associated with socioeconomic resources that may help to alleviate the stress that comes with caring for a child. In addition, having a child may reduce the hedonic aspects of well-being, but may contribute to the eudaimonic aspects of well-being, and older mothers may put more weight on the latter than younger mothers. Consequently, the literature finds that happiness increases around and after childbirth among older mothers, whereas for younger mothers the effect does not exist or is very short-lived.

Acknowledgements

Open access funding provided by Max Planck Society.

M. Myrskylä, K. Barclay, and A. Goisis were supported by the European Council Grant 336475 (COSTPOST).

Compliance with ethical guidelines

Conflict of interest.

M. Myrskylä, K. Barclay and A. Goisis declare that they have no competing interests.

This article does not contain any studies with human participants or animals performed by any of the authors.

• My Parents Essay

500 Words Essay On My Parents

We entered this world because of our parents. It is our parents who have given us life and we must learn to be pleased with it. I am grateful to my parents for everything they do for me. Through my parents essay, I wish to convey how valuable they are to me and how much I respect and admire them.

My Strength My Parents Essay

My parents are my strength who support me at every stage of life. I cannot imagine my life without them. My parents are like a guiding light who take me to the right path whenever I get lost.

My mother is a homemaker and she is the strongest woman I know. She helps me with my work and feeds me delicious foods . She was a teacher but left the job to take care of her children.

My mother makes many sacrifices for us that we are not even aware of. She always takes care of us and puts us before herself. She never wakes up late. Moreover, she is like a glue that binds us together as a family.

Parents are the strength and support system of their children. They carry with them so many responsibilities yet they never show it. We must be thankful to have parents in our lives as not everyone is lucky to have them.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

While my mother is always working at home, my father is the one who works outside. He is a kind human who always helps out my mother whenever he can. He is a loving man who helps out the needy too.

My father is a social person who interacts with our neighbours too. Moreover, he is an expert at maintaining his relationship with our relatives. My father works as a businessman and does a lot of hard work.

Even though he is a busy man, he always finds time for us. We spend our off days going to picnics or dinners. I admire my father for doing so much for us without any complaints.

He is a popular man in society as he is always there to help others. Whoever asks for his help, my father always helps them out. Therefore, he is a well-known man and a loving father whom I look up to.

Conclusion of My Parents Essay

I love both my parents with all my heart. They are kind people who have taught their children to be the same. Moreover, even when they have arguments, they always make up without letting it affect us. I aspire to become like my parents and achieve success in life with their blessings.

FAQ of My Parents Essay

Question 1: Why parents are important in our life?

Answer 1: Parents are the most precious gifts anyone can get. However, as not everyone has them, we must consider ourselves lucky if we do. They are the strength and support system of children and help them out always. Moreover, the parents train the children to overcome challenges and make the best decision for us.

Question 2: What do parents mean to us?

Answer 2: Parents mean different things to different people. To most of us, they are our source of happiness and protection. They are the ones who are the closest to us and understand our needs without having to say them out loud. Similarly, they love us unconditionally for who we are without any ifs and buts.

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Millennial life: How young adulthood today compares with prior generations

Over the past 50 years – from the Silent Generation’s young adulthood to that of Millennials today – the United States has undergone large cultural and societal shifts. Now that the youngest Millennials are adults, how do they compare with those who were their age in the generations that came before them?

In general, they’re better educated – a factor tied to employment and financial well-being – but there is a sharp divide between the economic fortunes of those who have a college education and those who don’t.

Millennials have brought more racial and ethnic diversity to American society. And Millennial women, like Generation X women, are more likely to participate in the nation’s workforce than prior generations.

Compared with previous generations, Millennials – those ages 22 to 37 in 2018 – are delaying or foregoing marriage and have been somewhat slower in forming their own households. They are also more likely to be living at home with their parents, and for longer stretches.

And Millennials are now the second-largest generation in the U.S. electorate (after Baby Boomers), a fact that continues to shape the country’s politics given their Democratic leanings when compared with older generations.

Those are some of the broad strokes that have emerged from Pew Research Center’s work on Millennials over the past few years. Now that the youngest Millennials are in their 20s, we have done a comprehensive update of our prior demographic work on generations. Here are the details.

Today’s young adults are much better educated than their grandparents, as the share of young adults with a bachelor’s degree or higher has steadily climbed since 1968. Among Millennials, around four-in-ten (39%) of those ages 25 to 37 have a bachelor’s degree or higher, compared with just 15% of the Silent Generation, roughly a quarter of Baby Boomers and about three-in-ten Gen Xers (29%) when they were the same age.

Gains in educational attainment have been especially steep for young women. Among women of the Silent Generation, only 11% had obtained at least a bachelor’s degree when they were young (ages 25 to 37 in 1968). Millennial women are about four times (43%) as likely as their Silent predecessors to have completed as much education at the same age. Millennial men are also better educated than their predecessors. About one-third of Millennial men (36%) have at least a bachelor’s degree, nearly double the share of Silent Generation men (19%) when they were ages 25 to 37.

While educational attainment has steadily increased for men and women over the past five decades, the share of Millennial women with a bachelor’s degree is now higher than that of men – a reversal from the Silent Generation and Boomers. Gen X women were the first to outpace men in terms of education, with a 3-percentage-point advantage over Gen X men in 2001. Before that, late Boomer men in 1989 had a 2-point advantage over Boomer women.

Boomer women surged into the workforce as young adults, setting the stage for more Gen X and Millennial women to follow suit. In 1966, when Silent Generation women were ages 22 through 37, a majority (58%) were not participating in the labor force while 40% were employed. For Millennial women today, 72% are employed while just a quarter are not in the labor force. Boomer women were the turning point. As early as 1985, more young Boomer women were employed (66%) than were not in the labor force (28%).

And despite a reputation for job hopping, Millennial workers are just as likely to stick with their employers as Gen X workers were when they were the same age. Roughly seven-in-ten each of Millennials ages 22 to 37 in 2018 (70%) and Gen Xers the same age in 2002 (69%) reported working for their current employer at least 13 months. About three-in-ten of both groups said they’d been with their employer for at least five years.

Of course, the economy varied for each generation. While the Great Recession affected Americans broadly, it created a particularly challenging job market for Millennials entering the workforce. The unemployment rate was especially high for America’s youngest adults in the years just after the recession, a reality that would impact Millennials’ future earnings and wealth.

Income and wealth

The financial well-being of Millennials is complicated. The individual earnings for young workers have remained mostly flat over the past 50 years. But this belies a notably large gap in earnings between Millennials who have a college education and those who don’t. Similarly, the household income trends for young adults markedly diverge by education. As far as household wealth, Millennials appear to have accumulated slightly less than older generations had at the same age.

Millennials with a bachelor’s degree or more and a full-time job had median annual earnings valued at $56,000 in 2018, roughly equal to those of college-educated Generation X workers in 2001. But for Millennials with some college or less, annual earnings were lower than their counterparts in prior generations. For example, Millennial workers with some college education reported making $36,000, lower than the $38,900 early Baby Boomer workers made at the same age in 1982. The pattern is similar for those young adults who never attended college.

Millennials in 2018 had a median household income of roughly $71,400, similar to that of Gen X young adults ($70,700) in 2001. (This analysis is in 2017 dollars and is adjusted for household size. Additionally, household income includes the earnings of the young adult, as well as the income of anyone else living in the household.)

The growing gap by education is even more apparent when looking at annual household income. For households headed by Millennials ages 25 to 37 in 2018, the median adjusted household income was about $105,300 for those with a bachelor’s degree or higher, roughly $56,000 greater than that of households headed by high school graduates. The median household income difference by education for prior generations ranged from $41,200 for late Boomers to $19,700 for the Silent Generation when they were young.

While young adults in general do not have much accumulated wealth, Millennials have slightly less wealth than Boomers did at the same age. The median net worth of households headed by Millennials (ages 20 to 35 in 2016) was about $12,500 in 2016, compared with $20,700 for households headed by Boomers the same age in 1983. Median net worth of Gen X households at the same age was about $15,100.

This modest difference in wealth can be partly attributed to differences in debt by generation. Compared with earlier generations, more Millennials have outstanding student debt, and the amount of it they owe tends to be greater. The share of young adult households with any student debt doubled from 1998 (when Gen Xers were ages 20 to 35) to 2016 (when Millennials were that age). In addition, the median amount of debt was nearly 50% greater for Millennials with outstanding student debt ($19,000) than for Gen X debt holders when they were young ($12,800).

Millennials, hit hard by the Great Recession, have been somewhat slower in forming their own households than previous generations. They’re more likely to live in their parents’ home and also more likely to be at home for longer stretches . In 2018, 15% of Millennials (ages 25 to 37) were living in their parents’ home. This is nearly double the share of early Boomers and Silents (8% each) and 6 percentage points higher than Gen Xers who did so when they were the same age.

The rise in young adults living at home is especially prominent among those with lower education. Millennials who never attended college were twice as likely as those with a bachelor’s degree or more to live with their parents (20% vs. 10%). This gap was narrower or nonexistent in previous generations. Roughly equal shares of Silents (about 7% each) lived in their parents’ home when they were ages 25 to 37, regardless of educational attainment.

Millennials are also moving significantly less than earlier generations of young adults. About one-in-six Millennials ages 25 to 37 (16%) have moved in the past year. For previous generations at the same age, roughly a quarter had.

On the whole, Millennials are starting families later than their counterparts in prior generations. Just under half (46%) of Millennials ages 25 to 37 are married, a steep drop from the 83% of Silents who were married in 1968. The share of 25- to 37-year-olds who were married steadily dropped for each succeeding generation, from 67% of early Boomers to 57% of Gen Xers. This in part reflects broader societal shifts toward marrying later in life. In 1968, the typical American woman first married at age 21 and the typical American man first wed at 23. Today, those figures have climbed to 28 for women and 30 for men.

But it’s not all about delayed marriage. The share of adults who have never married is increasing with each successive generation. If current patterns continue, an estimated one-in-four of today’s young adults will have never married by the time they reach their mid-40s to early 50s – a record high share.

In prior generations, those ages 25 to 37 whose highest level of education was a high school diploma were more likely than those with a bachelor’s degree or higher to be married. Gen Xers reversed this trend, and the divide widened among Millennials. Four-in-ten Millennials with just a high school diploma (40%) are currently married, compared with 53% of Millennials with at least a bachelor’s degree. In comparison, 86% of Silent Generation high school graduates were married in 1968 versus 81% of Silents with a bachelor’s degree or more.

Millennial women are also waiting longer to become parents than prior generations did. In 2016, 48% of Millennial women (ages 20 to 35 at the time) were moms. When Generation X women were the same age in 2000, 57% were already mothers, similar to the share of Boomer women (58%) in 1984. Still, Millennial women now account for the vast majority of annual U.S. births, and more than 17 million Millennial women have become mothers.

Younger generations (Generation X, Millennials and Generation Z) now make up a clear majority of America’s voting-eligible population . As of November 2018, nearly six-in-ten adults eligible to vote (59%) were from one of these three generations, with Boomers and older generations making up the other 41%.

However, young adults have historically been less likely to vote than their older counterparts, and these younger generations have followed that same pattern, turning out to vote at lower rates than older generations in recent elections.

In the 2016 election, Millennials and Gen Xers cast more votes than Boomers and older generations, giving the younger generations a slight majority of total votes cast. However, higher shares of Silent/Greatest generation eligible voters (70%) and Boomers (69%) reported voting in the 2016 election compared with Gen X (63%) and Millennial (51%) eligible voters. Going forward, Millennial turnout may increase as this generation grows older.

Generational differences in political attitudes and partisan affiliation are as wide as they have been in decades. Among registered voters, 59% of Millennials affiliate with the Democratic Party or lean Democratic, compared with about half of Boomers and Gen Xers (48% each) and 43% of the Silent Generation. With this divide comes generational differences on specific issue areas , from views of racial discrimination and immigration to foreign policy and the scope of government.

Population change and the future

By 2019, Millennials are projected to number 73 million, overtaking Baby Boomers as the largest living adult generation . Although a greater number of births underlie the Baby Boom generation, Millennials will outnumber Boomers in part because immigration has been boosting their numbers.

Millennials are also bringing more racial and ethnic diversity. When the Silent Generation was young (ages 22 to 37), 84% were non-Hispanic white. For Millennials, the share is just 55%. This change is driven partly by the growing number of Hispanic and Asian immigrants , whose ranks have increased since the Boomer generation. The increased prevalence of interracial marriage and differences in fertility patterns have also contributed to the country’s shifting racial and ethnic makeup.

Looking ahead at the next generation, early benchmarks show Generation Z (those ages 6 to 21 in 2018) is on track to be the nation’s most diverse and best-educated generation yet. Nearly half (48%) are racial or ethnic minorities. And while most are still in K-12 schools, the oldest Gen Zers are enrolling in college at a higher rate than even Millennials were at their age. Early indications are that their opinions on issues are similar to those of Millennials .

Of course, Gen Z is still very young and may be shaped by future unknown events. But Pew Research Center looks forward to spending the next few years studying life for this new generation as it enters adulthood.

All photos via Getty Images

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Older or younger parents

• Thread starter Intoarut
• Start date Apr 14, 2015

Senior Member

• Apr 14, 2015

Hello everyone, Here's the title of an essay: "Is it better to have older or younger parents?" What I can't quite understand is the use of comparatives. Older/younger than who? Why not, "Is it better to have old or young parents?" Thanks in advance!  

I believe this is to lessen the impact of saying that someone is old (or young). Older simply means 'older than usual', say in their forties. But if you say old it sounds a bit rude and makes the others think of a really old person.  

Agreed. The meaning is simply relatively young or old. It is comparative to an expected norm.  

Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

How Teens Today Are Different from Past Generations

Every generation of teens is shaped by the social, political, and economic events of the day. Today’s teenagers are no different—and they’re the first generation whose lives are saturated by mobile technology and social media.

In her new book, psychologist Jean Twenge uses large-scale surveys to draw a detailed portrait of ten qualities that make today’s teens unique and the cultural forces shaping them. Her findings are by turn alarming, informative, surprising, and insightful, making the book— iGen:Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy—and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood—and What That Means for the Rest of Us —an important read for anyone interested in teens’ lives.

Who are the iGens?

Twenge names the generation born between 1995 and 2012 “iGens” for their ubiquitous use of the iPhone, their valuing of individualism, their economic context of income inequality, their inclusiveness, and more.

She identifies their unique qualities by analyzing four nationally representative surveys of 11 million teens since the 1960s. Those surveys, which have asked the same questions (and some new ones) of teens year after year, allow comparisons among Boomers, Gen Xers, Millennials, and iGens at exactly the same ages. In addition to identifying cross-generational trends in these surveys, Twenge tests her inferences against her own follow-up surveys, interviews with teens, and findings from smaller experimental studies. Here are just a few of her conclusions.

iGens have poorer emotional health thanks to new media. Twenge finds that new media is making teens more lonely, anxious, and depressed, and is undermining their social skills and even their sleep.

iGens “grew up with cell phones, had an Instagram page before they started high school, and do not remember a time before the Internet,” writes Twenge. They spend five to six hours a day texting, chatting, gaming, web surfing, streaming and sharing videos, and hanging out online. While other observers have equivocated about the impact, Twenge is clear: More than two hours a day raises the risk for serious mental health problems.

She draws these conclusions by showing how the national rise in teen mental health problems mirrors the market penetration of iPhones—both take an upswing around 2012. This is correlational data, but competing explanations like rising academic pressure or the Great Recession don’t seem to explain teens’ mental health issues. And experimental studies suggest that when teens give up Facebook for a period or spend time in nature without their phones, for example, they become happier.

The mental health consequences are especially acute for younger teens, she writes. This makes sense developmentally, since the onset of puberty triggers a cascade of changes in the brain that make teens more emotional and more sensitive to their social world.

Social media use, Twenge explains, means teens are spending less time with their friends in person. At the same time, online content creates unrealistic expectations (about happiness, body image, and more) and more opportunities for feeling left out—which scientists now know has similar effects as physical pain . Girls may be especially vulnerable, since they use social media more, report feeling left out more often than boys, and report twice the rate of cyberbullying as boys do.

Social media is creating an “epidemic of anguish,” Twenge says.

iGens grow up more slowly. iGens also appear more reluctant to grow up. They are more likely than previous generations to hang out with their parents, postpone sex, and decline driver’s licenses.

Twenge floats a fascinating hypothesis to explain this—one that is well-known in social science but seldom discussed outside academia. Life history theory argues that how fast teens grow up depends on their perceptions of their environment: When the environment is perceived as hostile and competitive, teens take a “fast life strategy,” growing up quickly, making larger families earlier, and focusing on survival. A “slow life strategy,” in contrast, occurs in safer environments and allows a greater investment in fewer children—more time for preschool soccer and kindergarten violin lessons.

“Youths of every racial group, region, and class are growing up more slowly,” says Twenge—a phenomenon she neither champions nor judges. However, employers and college administrators have complained about today’s teens’ lack of preparation for adulthood. In her popular book, How to Raise an Adult , Julie Lythcott-Haims writes that students entering college have been over-parented and as a result are timid about exploration, afraid to make mistakes, and unable to advocate for themselves.

Twenge suggests that the reality is more complicated. Today’s teens are legitimately closer to their parents than previous generations, but their life course has also been shaped by income inequality that demoralizes their hopes for the future. Compared to previous generations, iGens believe they have less control over how their lives turn out. Instead, they think that the system is already rigged against them—a dispiriting finding about a segment of the lifespan that is designed for creatively reimagining the future.

iGens exhibit more care for others. iGens, more than other generations, are respectful and inclusive of diversity of many kinds. Yet as a result, they reject offensive speech more than any earlier generation, and they are derided for their “fragility” and need for “ trigger warnings ” and “safe spaces.” (Trigger warnings are notifications that material to be covered may be distressing to some. A safe space is a zone that is absent of triggering rhetoric.)

Today’s colleges are tied in knots trying to reconcile their students’ increasing care for others with the importance of having open dialogue about difficult subjects. Dis-invitations to campus speakers are at an all-time high, more students believe the First Amendment is “outdated,” and some faculty have been fired for discussing race in their classrooms. Comedians are steering clear of college campuses, Twenge reports, afraid to offend.

The future of teen well-being

Social scientists will discuss Twenge’s data and conclusions for some time to come, and there is so much information—much of it correlational—there is bound to be a dropped stitch somewhere. For example, life history theory is a useful macro explanation for teens’ slow growth, but I wonder how income inequality or rising rates of insecure attachments among teens and their parents are contributing to this phenomenon. And Twenge claims that childhood has lengthened, but that runs counter to data showing earlier onset of puberty.

So what can we take away from Twenge’s thoughtful macro-analysis? The implicit lesson for parents is that we need more nuanced parenting. We can be close to our children and still foster self-reliance. We can allow some screen time for our teens and make sure the priority is still on in-person relationships. We can teach empathy and respect but also how to engage in hard discussions with people who disagree with us. We should not shirk from teaching skills for adulthood, or we risk raising unprepared children. And we can—and must—teach teens that marketing of new media is always to the benefit of the seller, not necessarily the buyer.

Yet it’s not all about parenting. The cross-generational analysis that Twenge offers is an important reminder that lives are shaped by historical shifts in culture, economy, and technology. Therefore, if we as a society truly care about human outcomes, we must carefully nurture the conditions in which the next generation can flourish.

We can’t market technologies that capture dopamine, hijack attention, and tether people to a screen, and then wonder why they are lonely and hurting. We can’t promote social movements that improve empathy, respect, and kindness toward others and then become frustrated that our kids are so sensitive. We can’t vote for politicians who stall upward mobility and then wonder why teens are not motivated. Society challenges teens and parents to improve; but can society take on the tough responsibility of making decisions with teens’ well-being in mind?

The good news is that iGens are less entitled, narcissistic, and over-confident than earlier generations, and they are ready to work hard. They are inclusive and concerned about social justice. And they are increasingly more diverse and less partisan, which means they may eventually insist on more cooperative, more just, and more egalitarian systems.

Social media will likely play a role in that revolution—if it doesn’t sink our kids with anxiety and depression first.

About the Author

Diana Divecha

Diana Divecha, Ph.D. , is a developmental psychologist, an assistant clinical professor at the Yale Child Study Center and Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and on the advisory board of the Greater Good Science Center. Her blog is developmentalscience.com .

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16 "Myths" About Having Kids Later In Life, According To Older Parents

"I had my child at 45, and I've had people tell me that my decision to have a child at my age was somehow unfair to my child. Personally, I feel that I'm a much better parent now than a younger me would have been."

BuzzFeed Staff

We recently asked older parents of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the common myths and misconceptions about having kids later in life — and the actual realities of what it's like. Here's what they had to say:

1. "people assume i regret being an older parent and that things just happened this way. i actually planned to be an older parent from my youth. i knew i didn't want to spend my 20s limiting my options in jobs, vacations, partners, etc., and a baby would be just a burden at that age — at least for me. i don't judge people who think it's the right time for them, but for me it wasn't.".

" Right now, I'm exactly where I wanted to be in my younger years. I have a middle management position in an international company, good income, great benefits, work from home, and a 2-year-old. Sure, I don't have the same energy, but that's also motivated me to better care of my health, which I neglected in my 20s."

—Anonymous, Panama

2. "That you will have a wealth of life experience and knowledge to draw from: Whatever I did in the first four decades of my life — including having a previous child — didn't prepare me for having a young son in my forties.

"My beautiful child is unique. My previous experience with other children didn't prepare me for my youngest because he is not like any kid. (Of course, let's state the obvious-no two kids are alike)."

—44, Minnesota

3. "I grew up in a small town where most people marry young and have kids. The biggest misconception was that I was selfish for not wanting a child (our sweet boy was a wonderful surprise!). I ALWAYS knew having a child was a huge, life-changing decision, and one I wasn't going to do [unprepared]. I was 38 when my son was born, and not only am I NOT selfish, but I'm also such a better mom than I would've been 10 years ago. I have a great partner who's a wonderful dad, and I'm more financially secure than I was."

"Any sooner, and I'd say my opinion wouldn't be as magical and rainbow-filled as it is now. He has taught me to slow down, enjoy the moment (and know the tough moments don't last), and my goodness, I've laughed more in two years than I probably have in the last 20. He has completely changed my perspective on life and love. "

—40, Tennessee

4. "People always ask us if the kids are our grandchildren. We weren't able to have biological children, so we became foster parents first and were eventually able to adopt three of the children who were placed with us. The advantages we have are that we are older, and wiser and are more mindful of how our parenting affects our children. We don't feel the pressure to have them conform to any preconceived notions of how we expect them to grow up."

"We are free to let them be themselves and support them in their endeavors. The biggest challenge for us is dealing with childhood issues while managing our own age-related health issues. "

—48, New Mexico

5. "That you'll be too tired to play with your child. My husband and I both have older children from previous relationships. Though I adore my older children, I didn't appreciate how quickly they grew and savor every moment like we do with our toddler. My husband, who is 46, takes our 2-year-old to the park daily with the dogs after I go to work."

"He works from home and keeps him home three days a week. Since we are both more advanced in our careers, we have the extra cash to take him to bouncy play areas, have season passes to Sesame Place, and not stress about making ends meet. My biggest regret is not having him sooner so we could give him a sibling. Unfortunately, at 42, I doubt that'll happen!"

"Expectation: You'll be too tired and old. Reality: I understand and appreciate my body. I utilize my well-established relationships with medical professionals to keep me healthy. I know how to physically and mentally recover when I am zapped."

—43, Missouri

6. "It doesn't help that I look quite young for my age, and I'm a successful, professional woman in a conservative community, but it's a constant: 'You put your career ahead of family.' They don't know that my husband and I struggled for 10 years to start a family due to unexplained infertility. I'd trade all of my success to have met my son sooner."

7. "you are always older than your child's friend's parents. you struggle to fit in and be accepted by many of them at school and sporting events.".

" As an older parent, it’s hard to make friends with other moms.  For the most part, they are at least a decade, often two decades younger than I am, and in an entirely different stage of life. I have an established career as well as two young kids — they don’t get that."

—43, Arizona

8. "Most of it's true: I have more patience and money than if I'd had a kid in my twenties, but I'm tired and my back hurts. I still haven't figured it all out yet, and I'm still not where I want to be career-wise. There are lots of people who are older like me and have kids, but I still feel some stigma."

—45, Colorado

9. "I had my one and only two weeks before I turned 38. I assumed that it would be easier since I was older and that I would have more patience. Wrong. It's harder. I'm tired all the time. Turns out I don't have the patience. My daughter is 10 now, and if I was younger, I probably would have more energy."

—48, California

"It's not easier. I was 38, my husband was 46. I had heart surgery due to pregnancy issues when she was six months old. May complications. Fast-forward and I had colon cancer, liver cancer, a stroke, and my beloved husband died of a terrible disease. It's been rough on her — two older, sickly parents. I wish I had started sooner. I'm too ill to give her a sibling. I couldn't adopt — too sick for two kids — and there are too many bills."

— edgywitch20

10. "I had my two and only children at ages 42 and 44. The biggest things for me that no one warned me about were that I'm going through perimenopause while my kids are toddlers and I'm taking care of my stepdad at his end of life. Hormones have been out of whack for years and will continue. No 'help' from parents because they are just too old. I haven't been on a date with my husband in six years."

" We're trying to save for our retirement and the kids' college. But being a parent is just hard; we're all doing our best."

— sharpjellyfish61

11. "The hardest part of being an older parent has been the judgment of some younger parents. It still shocks me how insensitive some folks can be. I've had people tell me that my decision to have a child at my age (45) was somehow unfair to my child. Never mind that he wouldn't have existed in the first place had I not decided to wait. Personally, I feel that I'm a much better parent now than a younger me would have been."

"Some people mature earlier than I did and do better as younger parents, but that wasn't me. I'm glad I waited and ecstatic that my son is here!"

— peacefulgoose8437

12. "That it will be harder in general! It is easier. My wife and I are in our 40s and just had our first child who is now 14 months old. It's actually easier because of life experience. We know more as older adults so we don’t lose it over small things we saw our younger friends do when they had children 15 years ago."

" In addition to that, since we lived our life in our 20s and 30s, we don’t have any FOMO. So, staying home on a Friday or Saturday is fun and enjoyable because we did the bar scene and are happy to do family night now."

—43, New Jersey

13. "One thing I hadn't realized about having a baby in my later 30s was trying to reconcile where my husband and I are in life as opposed to our family and friends. Many family members are older now, and they cannot help in meaningful ways due to illness or simply because of the changes that come with aging. Many of our friends either had kids a long time ago and are now almost empty-nesters or have gone childless and are enjoying the freedoms that come with that. I don't regret having my son, but not having people around who are in similar situations makes us feel more alone."

"We try to make other parent friends, but so many of them are younger and have plenty of family and friends to help."

— dmcrowe12

14. "Expectation: Your child will make you so happy that you will wish you had them when you were younger. Reality: I thank God everyday that I waited until I was ready to meet this new person — my child — and not expect them to fulfill my happiness."

15. "i'm glad we waited as a couple because we have a great foundation built to fall back on when times get hard. i can't imagine going through this all with someone i didn't have such a solid relationship with. i had our son at 38, and it was the exact right time for me and my husband as a couple. i could never have had a child in my 20s. i was still learning who i was as a person, and i didn't have the emotional maturity to be the parent i am today.".

"I'm far from perfect, but realistically, it's hard to keep your emotions in check in a tough moment and support your child's growth."

— laughingnugget565

And finally...

16. "had my one and only at 42. i am 47 with an almost 5-year-old, and i don't regret it. i was able to live life freely in my younger years — enjoy college-travel and much more. being an older parent, i'm more stable with my own home and income, and i have no bills, so i can afford things. i can give my child things i didn't have growing up — like swim lessons and summer camps. my child doesn't have everything given to him, but i can do for him what my mom couldn't for me.".

" My child keeps me active and helps me care for myself more because I want to be around as long as possible. Before having a child, I didn't care much about longevity. I don't even indulge in alcohol anymore! Love being an older parent!"

— evilalligator90

Fellow older parents, what are some other misconceptions about having kids later in life? Share your thoughts in the comments below, or if you prefer to remain anonymous, feel free to use this Google form .

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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martes, 10 de noviembre de 2015

Is it better to have older or younger parents.

1 comentario:

I like your article, and i agree in your conclusions

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Sample toefl agree/disagree essay – better life than our parents, the question.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?  In my country, young people have better lives than their parents had when they were young.  Use reasons and examples to support your answer. Note :  This essay uses our TOEFL essay templates .

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The Sample Essay

           The world has changed in many since my parents were young.  In my opinion, my lifestyle is superior to the one they enjoyed at that time. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

          First of all, my generation enjoys a lot more leisure time, which makes our lives more fulfilling and enables us to follow our passions.  People today take longer vacations and have more paid time off from their jobs than either of my parents did while they were still employed.  Similarly, we have much shorter working days than they did. For example, nowadays I receive five weeks off from my job each year. I can schedule these holidays as I wish, and even use all of my vacation days at the same time.  As a result, I have been able pursue my love of travel. Unlike earlier generations, I have been able to maintain steady professional employment for my whole life so far, and have also been able to visit every continent on earth.  My parents, in contrast, were only able to travel following their retirement. At that time, however, their age and physical conditions limited their range of experiences.

         Secondly, society provides many more opportunities for women and minorities these days.  In the past, disadvantaged groups had a tough time achieving personal and professional success.  While this is still something of a concern, it is now much easier for members of such groups to follow their dreams.  My own experience, is a compelling example of this. When I was a young woman I was encouraged to attend university and later enter the workforce. On the other hand, my mother was expected to raise children and be a homemaker.  She dreamed of being a business executive and making a lot of money, but her parents and teachers discouraged her from doing that. Unlike me, she was pressured to give up all of her professional aspirations. Her example demonstrates why my life is preferable to the life which she lived when she was young.

            In conclusion, I strongly believe that I have an easier and better life than my parents had just a few decades ago.  This is because I enjoy much more leisure time than they did, and because women today have many more opportunities than they did in the past. (392 words)

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