college essay examples about divorced parents

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Hi all, my parents recently got divorced and it's had a big impact on my life. I want to write about it in my college essay, but I don't want it to sound too negative. Any advice on how to approach this topic and share my story in a meaningful way?

When writing a college essay about your parents' divorce, it's important to focus on personal growth and development rather than the negativity of the situation. Here are some tips to help you approach this topic in a meaningful way:

1. Focus on your growth: Highlight how the experience of your parents getting divorced has led to personal growth or development. Perhaps you learned valuable lessons about resilience, independence, or empathy from the situation. Show how these qualities have made you a stronger person and will benefit you in your future academic and personal pursuits.

2. Share a specific personal anecdote: Avoid talking about your parents' divorce in general terms. Instead, focus on a specific event or moment from your life that illustrates the impact of the divorce on you. This will make your essay more engaging and relatable to the reader.

3. Balance positivity and realism: While it's important not to dwell on the negative aspects of your parents' divorce, you also want to be honest about the challenges you faced. Try to strike a balance between acknowledging the adversity you've been through and emphasizing the positive growth or realizations that emerged from the situation.

4. Demonstrate self-awareness: Being introspective about how the experience has shaped you is crucial. Show that you have a deep understanding of your emotions, thoughts, and reactions throughout the process. This shows maturity and self-awareness, which are qualities that colleges value in their applicants.

5. Relate the experience to your goals: Explain how your parents' divorce and the lessons you learned from it have influenced your academic, career, or life goals. This will help the reader understand the significance of your story and see how it's relevant to your aspirations.

6. Proofread and revise: Finally, make sure to revise, proofread, and seek feedback from a trusted teacher, counselor, or mentor to ensure your essay is well-written and effectively conveys your message.

By focusing on your personal growth, sharing a specific anecdote, balancing positivity with realism, demonstrating self-awareness, and relating your experience to your goals, you can write a meaningful college essay about your parents' divorce that will resonate with admissions officers.

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How to Write Your College Essay About Divorced Parents

When you plan to write your college essay about divorced parents, you may be concerned about the practicality and appropriateness of the topic. This essay topic seems to be something that a lot of people ask about. Usually, they ask this:

“Is it okay to write my college essay about divorced parents?”

Here’s our honest opinion: writing your college essay about divorced parents is okay if –and only if– it demonstrates that you are a wise investment to the university ROI-wise.

Okay, so that sounds sort of weird, right? Why not give a straightforward “yes” or “no” answer? What the heck is an “ROI”? What does any of this even mean?

Well, as admissions experts, we’ve seen how the college admissions process can be much more complicated than that. The line between a good essay topic that can sway the admissions decision from rejected to accepted –or accepted to rejected– is very thin. There are no cut-and-dry formulas that can guarantee acceptance or rejection. However, there is a fundamental mindset you should adopt when writing your college essay about divorced parents.

Think of the admissions process from a utilitarian perspective. Remember: at the end of the day, you are sending your applications and transcripts because they are tools to help the university screen you. The admissions office has a duty of screening your value as a candidate to their university. You can choose to write your college essay about divorced parents as long as you show that you are a good return of investment (ROI) to the school. That means the school should have a good reason for reserving a spot for you in their institution, investing money on you, spending professor time on you, and accommodating you.

You need to show that your college essay about divorced parents makes you a great candidate for that.

Therefore, the question should not be “can I write my college essay about divorced parents”. Instead, it should be, “how can I write my college essay about divorced parents in a way that makes me the best asset to the school?”

Sounds difficult, right? “What if they think I’m too whiny?” “What if it doesn’t make me seem strong?”

Trust us. There are some fantastic college essays about divorced parents that we’ve seen and edited. Some of these essays managed to help students get into fantastic schools like Berkeley and USC. We’ll show you how to do exactly that below.

Table of Contents:

The Anatomy of a Good College Essay About Divorced Parents.

How to avoid being cliché., demonstrating value as a candidate in your college essay., the danger of mental instability and unsafe family background..

There are many things that make a good college essay. All college essays must demonstrate some value to the admissions office, and show how you are someone worth investing in. However, the anatomy of a college essay about divorced parents can differ.

We’ve deconstructed the parts that make up a good essay about this topic. Here is a general outline of what you should have.

• A strong hook that stands out from the rest of the sob stories.
• An introduction that reveals some of what happened with the divorce.
• A deeper articulation and description of what exactly that felt like.
• A section covering the insinuation behind what had happened.
• Demonstrating how you have grown or surpassed the obstacles of divorce.
• How does this make you a great candidate for the school.

We understand that the college admissions essays are not always long enough to contain all six of these sections. Sometimes you’ll be limited in your word count, and have to make sacrifices along the way. Or, you’ll have to make things shorter.

One of the things you should definitely have in your college essay, no matter the topic, is at least some insinuation –whether implied or written clearly in a single paragraph– about why your experience makes you a good fit for the school (i.e. why you’re worth investing in).

One of the dangers of talking about family problems in your college essay is writing something that comes across as cliché.

With how competitive college admissions processes are in the past few years –and how they’re getting harder with every passing year– it is critical that you have a method of standing out amongst the crowd more now than ever before. Should you write an essay that sounds cliché, you won’t be able to stand out as well. The college admissions essays are an asset. They are the only section in your whole college application that gives you the chance to talk your way into college outside of measurements like GPAs and test scores. If your essay sounds too much like what others write, you won’t be able to capitalize on the essay section as much as you could have to differentiate yourself from the rest.

So, how does one avoid being cliché when writing their college essay about divorced parents?

The first order of business is to recognize that despite many applicants who also have divorced parents, your experience is different from the rest. You may have gone through a similar event in your life along with others, but your experience and manner of processing the emotions are different. Let’s look at an example.

• Dario: Mother divorced father due to the father’s hot temper. Dario’s big takeaway is his lack of a father figure, and learning to cope with that.
• Anatoly: Mother divorced father due to the father’s hot temper. Anatoly’s big takeaway is his trust issues due to feeling abandoned by both family members.

Notice how both applicants have something similar in their experience? Just because they experienced something similar does not mean they will be affected the same way. Thus, just because someone has a similar topic to your essay does not mean it will immediately be cliché. Your experiences and emotional struggles are unique. Therefore, to avoid being cliché, you need to write in detail about what your experience was like.

If your experience made you feel more lost due to lack of a parental structure, you should be specific about those feelings. Perhaps your experience was different because said feelings made focusing on school difficult for you; however, you managed to learn how to cope and succeed academically despite the familial struggles.

However it is you plan to make your college essay stand out amongst the rest of the applicants writing about family divorce, you should make sure that it is hyper specific about its details. If you do not know whether you’ve written your college essay well enough, consider scheduling a free consultation with us over the phone . We will get back to you within 24 hours.

This is going to be the most important part of writing your college essay about divorced parents.

As we said in the beginning of this article guide, the college admissions process boils down to a calculation of whether you are a good candidate ROI-wise. That means that the essays need to frame you as someone who is a wise investment. Think to yourself: why would the university you’re applying for want to bother investing their time, money, and resources giving you an education?

There are a number of ways you can answer this. I’ve listed a few below.

• Accepting you as a student would give the university good press.
• Accepting you as a student would revivify a part of the school that needs development. (not enough people of color, a stem culture that needs more business acumen, etc)
• Accepting you as a student would greatly contribute to the school’s department which you’re applying for.
• Accepting you as a student would improve the overall sociability of the school, thereby improving the experience of other students and creating a positive ripple effect.

Okay, now let’s take a look at how we’re going to write a college essay while demonstrating our value as a worthy candidate to the university. Think about the topic of being a child of divorced parents. What was your experience like? What did it do to you as a result? In what ways have you grown and developed as a person over time? Is there a way that growth experience can be translated to your future experience at university? In other words, think in this order:

That last step is the crux of your execution. You need to show that the lessons you’ve learned or the experiences you’ve developed from your parent’s divorce reveals some strength or skill applicable to the school.

So, let’s say that you want to write about your relationship with your family turning sour after a messy family divorce. You’e realized your mother had been keeping an affair with your father. This has inexorably ruined your relationship with women as a whole, and you’ve struggled to have a healthy relationship that views women in a positive light without judgment. Thus, you’ve gone on a personal journey with your father to rekindle your relationship with trusting women as a whole. Through this, you’ve discovered critical feminist theory, and had constructive discussions with people who were willing to have uncomfortable conversations with you about rekindling your trust issues with women. Today, you are someone who champions a hybrid of feminist critique as an antidote to negative toxic viewpoints of women. You also hope to use these philosophies to help other struggling men who feel that they have developed a strained relationship with the opposite sex.

This is a red flag that you should be careful about.

When writing your college essay about divorced parents, you should consider the possibility of a Sword of Damocles. Whilst writing this essay topic, the admissions officers may have the idea that a broken family due to divorced parents can lead to mental instability and unsafe conditions at the back of their mind.

With the rise of mental health issues amongst students, the admissions offices at universities must take extra consideration when tackling issues such as mental health. In particular, they have to be more careful now than ever before about letting in students who they believe may be a threat to the community due to mental instability. Therefore, it is imperative that you establish in the essay that despite having a family of divorced parents, you are in no way potentially posing an issue to the school.

That means reassuring that your academic performance is unaffected, and in the future you will be safe and secure with no extraneous issues.

If you are struggling to write a good college essay about divorced parents, you may want to consider speaking with a professional college essay editor and advisor. Contact us for a free consultation. We will get back to you within 24 hours, and can provide you with a free review + advising on your application essay.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Divorce — Relationship With Parents After Divorce

Relationship with Parents after Divorce

• Categories: Divorce Family Relationships

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Published: Apr 29, 2022

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Divorce and its Impacts on Family Members Cause and Effect Essay

Introduction, impacts of divorce, how divorced spouses cope with the divorce.

Divorce has become a common aspect of our society. Current divorce statistics have been estimated to be 50% in America. This portrays a society where people are moving from a situation where family institutions were used as refugees and comfort zones to a one where they are viewed as a place of doom and suffering.

We cannot deny that divorce has devastating and far reaching effects than we are ready to admit. This paper looks into the impacts of divorce to the various members of the broken marriage, and how they try to live through it.

The effects of divorce are experienced by each and every member of the family regardless of who was at fault.

“The effects of divorce can change virtually every aspect of a person’s life including where a person lives, with whom they live with, their standard of living, their emotional happiness, their assets and liabilities, time spent with children and other family…” (eJustice 2002),

Effects of divorce to couples themselves

Even though the couple is the author of the outcome of the marriage, it does not affect them any less. The effects are on all aspects of life i.e., socially, financially, and psychologically.

Socially, individuals relations with the outside is influenced by the persons failed marriage. “Divorced individuals generally experience more social isolation and have smaller social networks than do married individuals” (Henley & Parsley, 2011).

This may result from self pity and feelings of inadequacy that may be developed by the individual in question. Further, there are societies where divorced people are viewed as failures and are allocated a lower social standing as compared to married people. In such traditional societies, divorced people and especially women are not allowed to remarry. So they may end up spending their lives in solitude and unhappy.

Moreover, even where it is completely allowed to remarry, “remarriages are less stable than first marriages…Therefore; divorce appears to influence future marital relationships, making them less stable and more vulnerable to dissolution” (Henley & Parsley, 2011).

Economically, a person’s normal life is disrupted and normally one of the couple may have to establish a home elsewhere, which requires funds. Further, divorce legal proceedings can be quite expensive, to hire lawyers and paying witnesses not to mention countless hours spent in courtrooms. In addition, the property accumulated during the subsistence of the marriage is ordinarily split up between the couple and these lowers the standards of living from both ends.

Sometimes, a couple may be unable to obtain judicial help in determining property ownership leaving weaker party, especially women, under the mercy of the other couple. This normally causes unfairness where the party refuses to divide the property in his possession fairy, not to mention hiding some of the property, leaving the other party financially starved.

Researchers have reached a conclusion that there is a disparity between the economic situation of women and that of men after divorce, with women generally being on the lower edge while men experiencing an economic upsurge (Braver and O’Connell 1998).

Psychologically, research has revealed that divorced people portray higher rates of anxiety and depression, low self-esteem and psychological instability, with those having more than one divorce experiences exhibiting more of these tendencies as compared to those with one.

Researchers has it that those who stay married, even though they were unhappy before, are likely to be happier five years later in the marriage as opposed to those who opted for divorce (Waite & Gallagher 2000, P. 148).

The psychological impact causes health implications to the couple. It has been shown that both spouses will greatly suffer a decline in mental health but this may affect women more than men. Further, a couple diagnosed with a terminal illness is more likely to recover within the marriage as compared to a divorced individual (Goodwin et al 1987, P. 3125-3130).

This shows that there are deeper issues associated with divorce besides the financial hurdles and social effects.

Impacts to Children

Divorce has profound implications on the children of the marriage. This is regardless of whether they are adult children or otherwise. Study has shown that divorce has serious implications on development of children and affects their future relationships. These effects may be discussed in terms of what the child has to lose resulting from the divorce. These may include such things as economic loss, lack of parental care and other social disruptions.

Economically, since children are moving from an institution where there are two breadwinners to, in most cases, one-breadwinner family it is normal that the financial status will have to be adjusted to suite the new family setting. This will mean cutting costs to incorporate all the needs of the family to the now constrained family budget.

In extreme cases, where the single parent is unemployed and without a stable source of income, the children may be forced to survive without basic necessities. It has been established that, “[children] in single-parent families have less than one-third the median per capita income of kids from two-parent families, and half of them fall below the poverty line in any given year, compared with 10% of their counterparts in intact families” (Magnet 1992, p 43)

Parental factor has various aspects to it. First of all, divorced parents will no longer live together. The children who were used to being with both parents will have to live with one of them. Adjusting to these new casual relationships between parents may pose problems to most children.

Mostly the children grow up without having the fatherly input in their lives. For children below 5 years, “sleep disturbances and an exacerbated fear of separation from the custodial parent are common. There is usually a great deal of yearning for the non-custodial parent” (Eleoff 2003).

It was concluded that youth of around 20 years still carry around with them painful memories ten years after their parents’ divorce. Billings and Emery (2000) among the things that still weigh down on them is the loss of the relationship with their fathers.

Further, the parent bestowed with the custody of the children may not be very effective on his/her own on the over burdened parental obligation. It could be the ordinary imperfections of a parent or it could have arisen from the after-effects of the divorce process. As argued out before, the psychological stability of the parent may be in question, and this is transmitted to the children, albeit unknowingly.

“In the wake of a divorce, most custodial mothers exhibit varying degrees of disorganization, anger, decreased expectations for appropriate social behavior of their children, and a reduction of the ability of parents to separate the child’s needs and actions from those of the adult” (Eleoff 2003).

The other issue on parents is the fact that, after divorce, parents will remarry and the children will have a different set of parents, step parents. Obviously, the step family will not function as naturally as a normal family does.

More often than not, there will be conflicts of loyalties between step parent and biological parent for the child. “Evidence suggests that each change in parenting arrangements represents a risk factor, thus increasing the likelihood that a child will react negatively to their post-divorce environment”(Demo & Supple 2011).

Social disruptions involve such things as moving houses, changing schools and having adapting new and very different surrounding for the child. Sometimes, it means that the new surroundings are worse off than the one the child is used to. This may be due to financial strains on the single parent.

Study has shown that, constant moving for children of single parent families, increased school drop-outs and chances of unplanned pregnancies. (Crowder and Teachman 2004)

When these children move from their original home and schools, they lose their friends and are forced to start all over again in life, a situation that most children have a problem adjusting to.

Overall, children experience such internal and emotional conflicts as low self-esteem, unfamiliarity to the new surroundings and set of parents, feelings of rejection especially from the parent who is not living with them and feelings of hopelessness and insecurity.

Despite the devastating impacts of a divorce, all the members have to find a way of surviving the divorce. Some of the factors that help family members cope may be economical, social or personal factors.

Personal factors have to do with the personal attributes that are specific to an individual. They include such matters as age, level of education, financial security and psychological stability. Research shows that older people are less likely to cope with a divorce as compared to younger people owing to their impaired chances of remarriage and due the comfort they have established in the marriage all those years.

Also, a person who is financially stable will be more likely to adjust to new family set-up as opposed to people who are unemployed. This is made stronger by the now widely adopted principle of property settlement between spouses, which requires a 50-50 property division. This ensures that both spouses’ living standards are least affected by the divorce.

Also, parties will seek to establish new social networks for support. Some spouses will start new romantic relationships or even remarry so as to forget their former spouses as well as help in the hardships of day to day living.

Divorce is a horrible ordeal to go through. The post-divorce experiences are beyond devastation, both to the members of the family involved and to the society at large. Parties should try to resolve their disputes before rushing for divorce and it should only be a last resort.

Many studies have been done on the level divorce with statistics showing that they are currently very high. However, there hasn’t been conclusive research on what are the causes of this rapidly increasing pandemic or even on how it could be stopped.

Therefore, future studies should concentrate more on how we can combine efforts to reduce the occurrence of more divorces. It is a duty and responsibility of each and every member of the society to uphold and protect the sanctity of the institution of the marriage.

Braver, S. L and O’Connell, D. (1998) Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths. New York: Putnam.

Billings, L & Emery, R. E. (2000). Distress among young adults in divorced families: Journal of Family Psychology , 14, 671-687.

Crowder, K & Teachman, J. (2004). Do residential conditions explain the relationship between living arrangements and adolescent behavior? Journal of Marriage and Family , 66, 721-738.

Demo,H.D& Supple,A.J. (2011). Divorce – Effects On Children, Effects On Couples, Effects On Parents: Effects On Children : Retrieved from https://family.jrank.org/pages/413/Divorce.html#ixzz1RKIAMjFY

Eleoff, S. (2003). An Exploration of the Ramifications of Divorce on Children and Adolescent: The Pennsylvania, State University College of Medicine eJustice.

Goodwin, S et al. (1987). The Effect of Marital Status on Stage, Treatment, and Survival of Cancer Patients; Journal of the American Medical Association 258: 3125-3130.

Henley, K & Pasley, K. (2011). Divorce- Effects On Children, Effects On Couples, Effects On Parents: Effects on couples. Retrieved from https://family.jrank.org/pages/413/Divorce.html#ixzz1RKIAMjFY

Magnet, M. (1992). The American Family : Fortune 10 Aug: 42-47.

Waite, L & Gallagher, M. ( 2000). The Case for Marriage. New York: Doubleday p.148.

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Essay Samples on Divorce

Divorce is a complex and deeply personal process that involves the legal dissolution of a marriage. It marks the end of a once-promising union and triggers a range of emotions, from sadness and anger to relief and newfound independence. Understanding the intricacies of divorce and its effects is crucial when writing college essays about divorce.

How to Write College Essays About Divorce

When exploring the subject of divorce, it is important to delve into the factors that contribute to its occurrence and look at college essays about divorce examples. These can include communication issues, incompatibility, domestic abuse, financial strain, or even external factors such as societal expectations or cultural norms. Discussing these causes helps paint a comprehensive picture of the complexities surrounding divorce.

To provide a well-rounded perspective for an example of college essay about divorce, consider including statistics or research findings related to divorce rates, average durations of marriages, or common age groups affected by divorce. This data can help support your arguments and provide a factual foundation for your essay.

Additionally, it is crucial to examine the legal aspects of divorce. Different jurisdictions have specific laws and regulations governing the process, including property division, alimony, child custody, and visitation rights. Incorporating information about these legal frameworks can add depth to your essay and showcase a comprehensive understanding of divorce proceedings.

While divorce can be emotionally challenging, it also offers opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery. Discuss the psychological and emotional impacts divorce can have on individuals, as well as strategies for coping and rebuilding one’s life after the end of a marriage.

Lastly, explore the societal implications of divorce. Analyze how divorce impacts the perception of marriage, family structures, and gender roles. Consider the evolving attitudes towards divorce in different cultures and how society supports or stigmatizes individuals going through this process in the divorce essay example.

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Best topics on Divorce

1. Cause and Effect of Broken Family: Exploring the Impact on Individuals and Society

2. Growing Up with Divorced Parents: Discussing the Topic of Divorce With Your Children

3. Growing Up With Divorced Parents: The Impact of Divorce on the Children

4. The Effects Of Divorce On Children

5. The Effects Of Divorce On Children In America

6. The Effects Of Divorce On Children And Young Adolescents

7. The Causes Of Divorce That Lead To The Annulment

8. The Causes Of Divorce And The Ruined Marriages

9. The Causes Of Divorce: The Reason Marriage Fails

10. The Causes And Effects Of Divorce

11. Main Reasons For Divorce In The United States And How It Impacts Family

12. My Personal Opinion On Why Divorce Shouldn’t Be Legalized

13. Common Social Problems Encountered In Family Life And How They Affect The Marriage

14. Divorce Rates In Kenya And Means To Reduce Them

15. Divorce Process And Finances In Hennepin County

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Putting Divorce into Context in Your Applications

October 4, 2019

Applications

After years of working with students, I’ve seen that dealing with divorce as a part of the college process can be challenging for students. While many family separations are amicable or mutually chosen, many others contain feelings of loss, grief, anger and sadness . If you are a student who has faced the challenges presented by divorced parents in any way, this blog is for you!

In my last two blogs ( Part 1 / Part 2 ), I gave advice to divorced families regarding finances and the college search process . Making sure your family understands their financial plan and has a good process in place can help things go much more smoothly. However, when it comes to filling out the application, you – the student – will be faced with clearly explaining how divorce affected you.

For many students, the timing of a parents’ divorce could not be worse – when it happens during high school, it can distract you from activities, destabilize your financial support, impede on your emotional support system, and/or a hamper your studies right when grades are most important . Even if it happened several years ago, you may still be struggling with the reshuffling of your life. In these cases, it is important that you explain this to colleges. Here are three of the best ways to do that.

1) You can write about these circumstances in the additional information section of the Common Application . This section allows you to write up to 650 words “if you wish to provide details of circumstances or qualifications not reflected in the application.” When writing a summary of your parents’ divorce, keep it fairly factual (as opposed to highly emotional), and point clearly to how the circumstances of divorce impacted your application – primarily academic work and extracurricular activities. Typically, you would want an explanation for this section to be shorter than your main essay, so around 150-300 words, but you can use as much space as needed, and should, when appropriate. I recommend doing this when circumstances dictate, as you have little to lose and everything to gain, even if you don’t want to “whine” or “ask for pity” as many of my students say.

  2) Write your main Common Application essay about your parents’ divorce. I am very cautious to recommend this strategy, but it can be effective for some students. The primary problem with writing about a highly emotional or traumatic event in your life is that you haven’t always fully processed the event. This makes it very difficult to gain the needed perspective. Frequently, students end up writing with less skill, more difficulty, and less cohesion, because they are trying to explain an experience that taps deep emotions, particularly negative ones. So, how to decide if this is an appropriate topic for your essay? First, decide if writing about this event gives admissions readers unique insight into who you are. Second, ask yourself if this topic will provide better insights about who you are than all other possible topics. Third, make time to write in a journaling style, and then, get feedback from a trusted adult about whether the thoughts present you well and add to the strength of your application.

3) Finally, your school counselor recommendation is another appropriate place for colleges to learn about family circumstances that might have affected your application to college. If you have experienced challenges related to divorce, be sure to communicate those to your counselor. For example, after your parents split up, you might not have been able to visit a particular college to demonstrate interest. You could need more time for your college search , have less time to devote to extracurricular activities because of your living situation, have gone through a period of time where your academics were affected negatively, or have had to get a job. Regardless of the circumstance, be sure to set a meeting with your counselor to fully explain the circumstances and why you’d like them to be included in the letter. Your counselor can help contextualize your circumstances in the school recommendation letter or forms.

While divorce presents challenges for many students, I’ve also worked with many students who found strengths, hopes, or new opportunities because of the change of circumstance in their lives. Living through a challenge can cause you to become more mature or more flexible. Further, it can introduce more support people – such as stepparents – into your life. Look for those positives and emphasize those in your applications, so colleges will see you gaining self reliance, optimism, and strength.

Divorce Blog Part 1

Divorce Blog Part 2

Nicole has dedicated the entirety of her 20 year career to encouraging higher education opportunities. After graduating from Vanderbilt, she worked in her alma mater’s admissions office. The, she completed her PhD in Counseling so she could bring that expertise into college counseling. Nicole partnered with her former Vanderbilt colleague, Fitz Totten, to form Find The Right College and support their mission to make trustworthy advising more accessible.

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• Essay on Family

Good Example Of Admission Essay On My Parents Divorced

Type of paper: Admission Essay

Topic: Family , Parents , Love , Thinking , Time , Future , Feeling , Moment

Published: 03/10/2020

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I will remember that moment always. I had just come home from a really enjoyable sports practice session, feeling good about life in general and looking forward to the rest of the weekend. I knew something was wrong when my Mom said we needed to talk, just by the expression on her face. She was all red around her eyes; I could see she’d been crying. My heart sank, and my buoyant mood was shattered. Then she told me that her and my Dad had decided to separate and would probably divorce. I realized in that moment that things had not been right between them for some time, but I had been too wrapped up in my own little world to give it conscious thought. We had not been out together as a family for a long while, and Dad seemed to have been away a lot for his job, while Mom had been getting more and more involved with her voluntary work. I suppose my initial feelings were all about myself – if they split up, where will I live? Then I thought: is it because of me? Have I done something to cause their break-up? That first weekend passed so slowly. I spent much of it in my room, worrying about the future and if my Mom would be OK. For some reason, I didn’t have the same worries about Dad – I suppose because he was away a lot, we didn’t have such a close relationship, plus I think I see him as a more independent, self-sufficient individual. Then, as time went on, I began to see things more in their true perspective. Dad moved out and into an apartment across town, while Mom seemed more cheerful and more like her old self, which made me feel better, too. I was still upset that they were divorcing, but didn’t blame myself any more. Although I visit with Dad from time to time, I seem to have become closer to my Mom – perhaps in part because it’s made me grow up. I feel I need to look after her because Dad’s not around. Nowadays, when I think about them divorcing, I still find it upsetting, but now I’m feeling upset for them – my parents. I think it’s sad that their future together didn’t materialize as they probably both had hoped and expected.

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Personal Narrative Essay : The Divorce Of My Parents

When I was younger, growing up was not always the easiest thing. From a young age, I was faced with the difficulty of having divorced parents. Most of my friends did not have to go through this struggle, so it was hard to explain why I could not always hang out with them every weekend. “I can’t, I’m at my mom’s this weekend”, became a phrase I used quite often. However, when I was small, I thought it was kind of cool in a way because I got two birthdays, two Christmases, and two vacations. Eventually, both of my parents remarried. My father remarried my stepmother who also had two children who were both older than I was, but younger than my brother. My mother remarried and then had two more children with him. 

I felt as a kid, I missed out on some opportunities that other kids my age got to experience. Also growing up it was not always easy watching your two parents not get along. As I got older, it was very difficult to be able to do everything that I wanted to because it would mess up our schedule that we had, which made my mother kind of upset. When my younger siblings were born, things started going downhill. We had to watch our younger siblings all of the time, and it was our responsibility to keep them entertained. My sister and I are about five years apart, and my younger brother and I are about six years apart. So keeping them entertained was kind of difficult since we were all children.

I thought growing up that the one “hard” thing I would have to deal with was my parents divorce, however that was wrong. My mother got divorced for the second time. This came as a shock to me. At this point, I hardly ever saw my younger siblings. Between me starting competitive gymnastics, school, and their different schedules it could go months without seeing them which was very hard for me as a kid. I noticed right after the divorce my mother did not seem like herself, but at the age of nine, I had figured it was just the stress from the divorce. As time went on, the things that were happening continued. For example, she would cancel a weekend here and there or she would have friends over the whole weekend barely making time for us. However after one weekend, we quickly realized what it was.

It was Halloween in 2015 and it was my mother’s weekend. I was ten, my oldest brother was fifteen, my younger sister was six, and my youngest brother was five. My father told us to go downtown to the Trunk or Treat in town, so we could see friends and still go trick or treating. We were downtown for about twenty minutes before we left, and did not get to see my father who was expecting to see us dressed up. Earlier in the day, my mother and I were planning my eleventh birthday party since it was in two weeks. However, the topic changed quickly when we were talking about our plans for the rest of the night. My mother talked in a very serious tone about what we were doing. She made very strict rules of what we could do. At the time I did not realize what was going on until later. My mother had taken my siblings and I to an “adult” party. 

The day after everything had happened I was still very confused. When my mother was taking me and my brother back to our fathers, she had specifically told us not to tell him what had happened, and to say after we went downtown we went back home. As we got in the car with our father, he already knew what had happened. Still as a young child I did not understand anything that was truthfully happening. My brother had explained to me that our mother had some deeper lying issues that turned her to drugs and alcohol. Even at the age of ten I knew those things were bad, and they could have seriously harmed me or my siblings. My father was furious with my mother, as he had every right to be because she had potentially endangered me and my siblings lives by being there at a young age. My father was granted full custody of my brother and I, after it was taken to court.

As a child having to experience things like this made it very difficult to talk to my friends at some points. Every once and a while I would leave school early to have to talk to someone, but when my friends asked I simply said that I had some kind of appointment. It was very hard for me to be able to come to terms with the fact that my mother would not be a part of my life. I struggled with this for a while, and I kind of started shutting people out because I did not know how to express my feelings, and I did not know how to feel. I was angry, upset, hurt, and so many more feelings that confused me at a young age. I had also convinced myself that somehow it was my fault, and that I had done something wrong for things to end up the way that they had.

Six years later, I have come to terms with this. I have understood that there was nothing I did or could have done to cause this. Sure, every once in a while I will get upset over it but it will happen. I have also realized that I have an amazing support system, and that I can talk to anyone whenever I need to. I have an amazing family that has helped every step of the way, my friends have always been there for me whenever I needed them, my boyfriend who has become a big part of my life who I can call any hour of the day if I needed him. I know many people are not blessed with having such a great support system, but I am very fortunate to have one, and for that I am forever grateful.

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How It All Changed. My Divorced Parents Essay Example

Do you have divorced parents? My parents got divorced right around when I was only ten years old. I did not really understand what was happening at the time. It changed my life in many different ways, good and bad. Ever since my parents got divorced my life has been a rollercoaster of mixed emotions.

I am going to start from the beginning, six years ago is when it all started. My parents never really would fight in front of my siblings and I. Right before my parents got divorced my mom’s dad had passed away. Everyone in the family was already sad and upset. Everything went by so fast, I do not even remember them telling me. I just remember we started packing everything and every once in a while someone would start crying while packing.

My mom bought a house like two miles down from my dad’s house. Every time I would forget something I would just ride my four wheeler over there. After we moved it was hard to get used to not having certain people around all the time. I was on a strict schedule at whose house I had to go to on certain days. It honestly was hard for me being a little kid, I would get attached to one parent so easily. I eventually got used to the schedule as I got older. 

As I got older a lot of things became much easier for my siblings and I. One of the hardest things that I hated the most was when my parents would meet new people. I hated having people in my house that would try to act like they were my parents, I did not like the thought of one of my real parents being replaced. Once I got older I understood and I started getting along with who my parents would date and the kids that they had. I would treat them like my own siblings. 

Some of the more positive things about having divorced parents is that I get two holidays for every holiday. I also always have a different way at looking at certain things, like to not take the idea of marriage for granted. I am also so happy and thankful that my parents are happy again, even though my life will never be the same since the divorce. I am also not so sure if my life changed for better or for worse but, I am glad that everyone is confident and happy again.

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Essays About Divorce: Top 5 Examples and 7 Prompts

Essays about divorce can be challenging to write; read on to see our top essay examples and writing prompts to help you get started.

Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage. It can be a messy affair, especially if it includes children. Dividing the couple’s assets also often causes chaos when divorce proceedings are in session. 

Divorce also touches and considers religion and tradition. Therefore, laws are formed depending on the country’s history, culture, and belief system.

To help you choose what you want to talk about regarding this topic, here are examples you can read to get an idea of what kind of essay you want to write.

1. Divorce Should Be Legalized in the Philippines by Ernestine Montgomery

2. to divorce or not to divorce by mark ghantous, 3. what if you mess up by manis friedman, 4. divorce: a life-changing experience by writer louie, 5. divorce’s effects on early adult relationships by percy massey, 1. the major reasons for divorce, 2. why i support divorce, 3. my divorce experience, 4. how to avoid divorce, 5. divorce and its effects on my family, 6. the consequences of divorce, 7. divorce laws around the world.

“What we need is a divorce law that defines clearly and unequivocally the grounds and terms for terminating a marriage… Divorce is a choice and we all should have the freedom to make choices… in cases where a union is more harmful than beneficial, a divorce can be benevolent and less hurtful way of severing ties with your partner.”

As the title suggests, Montgomery and his other colleagues discuss why the Philippines, a predominantly Catholic country, needs to allow divorce. Then, to strengthen his argument, he mentions that Spain, the root of Christianity, and Italy, where the Vatican City is, administer divorce. 

He also mentions bills, relevant figures, and statistics to make his case in favor of divorce more compelling. Montgomery adds that people who want a divorce don’t necessarily mean they want to marry again, citing other motives such as abuse and marital failure.

“Divorce, being the final step in a detrimental marriage, brings upon the gruesome decision as to whether a married couple wishes to end that once made commitment they had for each other. As opposed to the present, divorce was rare in ancient times…”

Ghantous starts his essay with what divorce means, as not only an end of a commitment but also the termination of legal duties and other obligations of the couple to each other. He then talks about divorce in ancient times, when men had superior control over women and their children. He also mentions Caroline Norton, who fought with English family law that was clearly against women.

“So even though G‑d has rules,… laws,… divine commandments, when you sin, He tells you: ‘You messed up? Try again.’ That’s exactly how you should be married — by treating your spouse the way G‑d treats you. With that much mercy and compassion, that much kindness and consideration.”

Friedman’s essay discusses how the Torah sees marriage and divorce and explains it by recounting a scene with his daughters where they couldn’t follow a recipe. He includes good treatment and forgiveness necessary in spouses. But he also explains that God understands and doesn’t want people in a failed marriage to continue hurting. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment .

“Depending on the reasons that led up to the divorce the effects can vary… I was fourteen years old and the one child that suffered the most emotional damage… My parents did not discuss their reasons for the divorce with me, they didn’t have to, and I knew the reasons.”

The author starts the essay by citing the famous marital promise: “For better or worse, for richer or poorer,” before going in-depth regarding the divorce rate among Americans. He further expounds on how common divorce is, including its legalities. Although divorce has established legal grounds, it doesn’t consider the emotional trauma it will cause, especially for children.

Louie recounts how his life changed when his dad moved out, listing why his parents divorced. He ends the essay by saying society is at fault for commercializing divorce as if it’s the only option.

“With divorce becoming more prevalent, many researchers have taken it upon themselves to explore many aspects of this topic such as evolving attitudes, what causes divorce, and how it effects the outcome of children’s lives.”

Massey examines the causes of divorce and how it impacts children’s well-being by citing many relevant research studies. Some of the things he mentions are the connection between the child’s mental health, behavioral issues, and future relationships. Another is the trauma a child can endure during the divorce proceedings.

He also mentions that some children who had a broken family put marriage on a pedestal. As a result, they do their best to create a better future family and treat their children better.

Top 7 Prompts on Essays About Divorce

After adding to your knowledge about the subject, you’re better prepared to write essays about divorce.

There are many causes of the dissolution of marriage, and many essays have already discussed these reasons. However, you can explain these reasons differently. For example, you can focus on domestic abuse, constant fighting, infidelity, financial issues, etc.

If you want to make your piece stand out, you can include your personal experience, but only if you’re comfortable sharing your story with others. 

If you believe divorce offers a better life for all parties involved, list these benefits and explain them. Then, you can focus on a specific pro of legalizing divorce, such as getting out of an abusive relationship. 

If you want to write an essay to argue against the negative effects of divorce, here’s an excellent guide on how to write an argumentative essay .

This prompt is not only for anyone who has no or sole guardian. If you want to write about the experiences of a child raised by other people or who lives with a single parent, you can interview a friend or anyone willing to talk about their struggles and triumphs even if they didn’t have a set of parents.

Aside from reasons for divorce, you can talk about what makes these reasons more probable. Then, analyze what steps couples can take to avoid it. Such as taking couples’ therapy, weekly family get-together, etc. To make your essay more valuable, weigh in on what makes these tips effective.

Divorce is diverse and has varying effects. There are many elements to its results, and no two sets of factors are precisely the same for two families. 

If you have an intimate experience of how your immediate and extended family dynamic had been affected by divorce, narrate those affairs. Include what it made you and the others around you feel. You might also be interested in these essays about conflict .

This is a broad prompt, but you can narrow it down by focusing on an experience you or a close friend had. You can also interview someone closely related to a divorce case, such as a lawyer, reporter, or researcher. 

If you don’t have any experience with divorce, do not know anyone who had to go through it, or is more interested in its legal aspects, compiles different divorce laws for each country. You can even add a brief history for each law to make the readers understand how they came about.

Are you looking for other topics to write on? Check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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Essay about parents' divorce?

<p>I want to write about how my parent’s divorce motivated me to become successful. I have read, however, to avoid divorce. Also, is divorce too common of a topic? I feel I could best express myself through the divorce topic but want my essay to not get read as “another divorce essay.” Is divorce an acceptable topic?</p>

<p>Most topics are “acceptable,” but many are discouraged because they are so common that they become trite. If you can avoid this, go for it.</p>

<p>i’d read an impressive essay about parents’ divorce, so i think it is ok if you are sure that this essay can show readers a true you. btw, is divorce a common topic? have no idea about it caused i’d read only one essay talks about it</p>

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It’s college application time and parents across the state are praying for the essay fairy to arrive and save them. Having gone through it twice, I am sympathetic to all of those who are now going through what is a rite of indoctrination in parenting. Then, just when you think you get a break, now you have to figure out how to pay for it!

Even though those acceptance letters won’t be in the mail until April (unless your student is applying early action, or to a school with rolling admissions), it’s not too soon to start thinking about it. This takes on a whole other level of stress when you are divorced or separated from your child’s other parent.

New Jersey law clearly provides that a divorced or separated parent’s obligation extends to higher education. Unlike our neighbor to the west, support does not stop after high school when a child has the capacity to attend college, or a trade school. Not only is there an obligation to contribute towards college, child support does not end when your child goes off to the dorms. It may change, but it does not end.

Help your child choose schools to apply to.

Like a kid at an ice cream sundae bar, your child’s appetite for college may be more than you can eat. When those glossy brochures and exciting emails come from private universities and your child is wide eyed, now is the time to manage expectations. As one example, George Washington University is $70,443 per year (including room and board).

If your child is not going to qualify for significant financial aid or scholarships, and you can’t afford what you reasonably think may be your share, don’t encourage your child to apply. It can only lead to heartache on the part of your child, and in some cases, a court order that can be financially devastating.

Several years ago, I was involved in a case in which the father encouraged his daughter to apply to his Alma matter – a small school with a big price tag. She applied, was accepted, and then he realized he could not afford it. The judge held that he had to contribute a portion that was equal to his proportionate share of the combined income of him and his ex-wife regardless of the fact that it was crippling to his finances. The court notes that the father had been involved in encouraging the child to visit, and apply to the school.

Another issue to consider is whether this is the first child to attend college. Are there brothers and sisters coming up from behind? Prospective obligations for other children are valid issues to consider. Now is the time to manage expectations.

To be sure, your ex may not agree with your opinion as to what is and what is not affordable. This is not the time to be a shrinking violet, whichever side of the argument you are on. Make your position known, in writing, so you can defend it later.

How much will you have to pay for college after a divorce?

This answer may depend on your settlement agreement if you were divorced, or have some type of agreement with your child’s other parent. If there is no agreement, current New Jersey law mandates that the following factors be taken into consideration:

Whether the parent, if still living with the child, would have contributed toward the costs of the requested higher education;

The effect of the background, values, and goals of the parent on the reasonableness of the expectation of the child for higher education;

The amount of the contribution sought by the child for the cost of higher education;

The ability of the parent to pay that cost;

The relationship of the requested contribution to the kind of school or course of study sought by the child;

The financial resources of both parents;

The commitment to and aptitude of the child for the requested education;

The financial resources of the child, including assets owned individually or held in custodianship or trust;

The ability of the child to earn income during the school year or on vacation;

The availability of financial aid in the form of college grants and loans;

The child’s relationship to the paying parent, including mutual affection and shared goals as well as responsiveness to parental advice and guidance; and,

The relationship of the education requested to any prior training and to the overall long-range goals of the child.

What about child support while your child is living in that fancy dorm?

Even though your child may be living in a dorm and eating gourmet like meals that are far better than the mystery meat you may have had in college, a payor of child support will still likely have to pay some level of support. For starters, even though the custodial parent is not giving the child dinner every night, the rent or mortgage and tax payment has not changed. While the water bill may go down, the custodial parent still has to heat the same size house that has the child’s room, and still has to pay for the auto insurance. Moreover, the child still needs clothes, toiletries, haircuts, and the like.

In some cases, courts have recognized that the needs of the child may even go up when they go away to school. If the child support was being calculated pursuant to the New Jersey Child Support Guidelines, the guidelines no longer apply when a child goes away to school for the determination of the amount of child support that is payable.

The factors and expenses in addition to the ones I have already mentioned which have to be considered include: transportation (possible automobile maintenance or payments, gasoline, parking, or alternate travel expenses); furniture (such as lamps, shelves, or dorm set-up and small appliances); clothing; linens and bedding; luggage; telephone; supplies (like paper, pens, markers, or calculators); sundries (such as cleaning supplies or laundry detergent); toiletries (soap, shampoo, and other personal hygiene necessaries); insurance (automobile, health, and personal property); entertainment for college events and organizations; and spending money.

This is all considered against the actual college costs that the parent is paying, as well as any reasonable contribution that the student should make from sources such as summer jobs, savings, co-ops, and work study programs.

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Why Do Adult Children Often Adopt Roles in Parental Divorce?

Two sisters discuss the roles they assumed in their parents' divorce and why..

Posted April 30, 2024 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

• The Challenges of Divorce
• Find a therapist to heal from a divorce
• By 2030, the "Gray Divorce Revolution" suggests divorces will triple among adults aged 50 and older.
• Adult children often feel painfully alone, facing family upheaval during parents' unexpected separations.
• Two adult sisters share how they navigated emotional challenges during their parents' drawn-out separation.

This post is the second in a series about the experiences, feelings, and healing journey of two sisters who are adult children of gray divorce.

Since 1990, a worldwide phenomenon has been occurring. The divorce rate of adults over 50 has doubled, and researchers predict it will triple by 2030. Yet most people don't know it has been happening or how it impacts family members. Researchers named this phenomenon "The Gray Divorce Revolution." The adult children of these divorcing couples frequently say they feel painfully alone and unprepared to handle what is happening in their family, and no one understands what they are experiencing. They are in shock and feel overwhelmed.

I recently spoke with two German sisters, Sophia and Eleana (not my patients), who were adults when their parents began their gray divorce journey. Eleana is a 30-year-old talent management /development expert and a career coach living in Germany, and Sophia is a 27-year-old journalist based in the United Kingdom.

Carol: How old were you and your parents when you found out they were separating?

Sophia: I was 20 years old and in my second year at university in Amsterdam. So, I was coming in and out of the family home. My older sister, Eleana, was about to head to Germany for her first corporate job after college. Our 17-year-old sister was living at home in Malaysia, finishing her last year of high school. Our parents were in their late 40s when the separation began. It was a seven-to-eight-year process until they decided to separate officially. So, by then, they were in their late 50s.

CH: What was your role doing this time, Sophia?

S: First, I want to say that my mother, younger sister, and I leaned heavily on Eleana, probably because she was the oldest. Whenever Eleana confronted our father about the affair and leaving our mother, he would end the conversation. Then, the three of us would call Eleana and say, "Can you please make up with him? We want to make sure he is not going to leave yet." Telling Eleana to stop being confrontational is the perfect example of how I behaved then.

I'm a big people pleaser, so, initially, I felt the need to make everyone, including my father, happy. So, I would go out of my way to try to fix the situation and tell our dad that we were there for him, the door was open, and if he ever wanted to come back, he could. So, when Eleana had her moments where she burst, I thought, "No, this is not going according to plan. We need to be with him." I had a constant need to control the situation and to get our dad back. Our father liked sunflowers, so I constantly sent him sunflowers and told him we loved him. But I quickly realized that I had no control over where this relationship was going.

CH: What were you feeling when you were in the people-pleaser role?

S: It was a very helpless feeling. You're helpless in the situation. You're looking at it from the outside, and you want to make things better, but you can't. This is something that I learned to fight over the years and to deal with because, at the end of the day, this is not my marriage . It's the marriage of two people I love. But, yeah, I cannot control that, and, unfortunately, I can't make everyone happy. And that's something that I definitely learned over the last few years.

CH: Eleana, what other thoughts do you have about the roles you and Sophia took on?

Eleana: I think it's so interesting because we've spoken so much about the roles and what that even means in a family as a result of this situation. We definitely took on roles at the beginning of the separation as a means of control. And you mentioned that yours was a means of control. The way that I acted also was a means of control. We both were trying to control things in our way, and what both of us have noticed now, eight years on, is actually there are no more roles because that core family doesn't exist anymore. So, the roles we now have are more in our individual relationships with one another.

I think for me that really formed in what we like to call the limbo phase that our parents went through, where after a year or two of separation, our father actually came back to our mother, and they decided to try to work on things to see if they could stay together. And there was a long back and forth reconciling, fighting, being together, and not being together. I think, Sophia, that was harder for you at that time than for me because, at that time, I just started saying, "Nope, I can't deal with this at the moment." So maybe you can talk a little bit about how that limbo phase affected you.

S: Oh, yeah, the dreaded limbo phase. It affected me big time. I think because we are adult children of divorce, our life was on full display. There was no hiding from it. And we were very much involved and aware of everything that was going on. There were times when we even went on holidays together as a family again, and you never know, is it going to be a good holiday? Is it going to be a bad holiday? And it was all very dependent on what their relationship was like. For me, just this ongoing process generated this hope in me, kind of connecting again to my earlier feelings of the hope that we would be a family again or that our dad would come back. I really clung to that.

And, yes, because you're in this limbo phase, you don't ever get closure, or you don't ever get a clear answer to be able to move forward personally. And that is very emotionally taxing, exhausting, and really difficult. So, yes, the limbo phase had a really big impact on me to the point where the moment when three years ago, they officially announced their separation, there was a profound feeling of sadness. Still, there was also a feeling of relief because it was like, thank God they finally made up their minds. It's over.

CH: Seven years after the start of your parents’ separation, you became the creators and producers of the podcast "The Kids Are Not Alright!" Why did you decide to do this?

S: We wanted to start sharing what we experienced during our parent's separation and the context of what it meant for us and continues to mean for us even today. Our goal is for the podcast to be a support for other adult children of divorcing or divorced parents because we did not know how to deal with our parents' separation and divorce. We felt very alone, in shock, unsupported, and overwhelmed. We did not know how to handle what was happening and what we were feeling and experiencing. We want other adult children to know they are not alone and to share with them what has helped us heal over the years. We hope that will help them heal, too.

Read the previous post here .

© 2024 Carol R. Hughes, Ph.D.

Susan L. Brown and I-Fen Lin, “The Gray Divorce Revolution: Rising Divorce Among Middle-Aged and Older Adults, 1990–2010,” Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences 67, no. 6 (2012): 731–741, doi:10.1093/geronb/gbs089.

Carol R. Hughes, Ph.D., LMFT , and Bruce R. Fredenburg, M.S., LMFT , are psychotherapists and co-authors of Home Will Never Be the Same Again: A Guide for Adult Children of Gray Divorce .

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