example of optometry personal statement

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Optometry Personal Statement

Use this Optometry personal statement example as an inspiration to write your own for the UK university application, if you are applying to study Optometry course.

Finding a profession that both fulfils one’s intellectual interests and provides a sense of purpose is the key to a rewarding career. It would be necessary for me to pursue a career with a solid scientific aspect to work, since I have always been fascinated by the fields of biology and chemistry, with the objective of helping people every day. As a result of my involvement in various work placements within the health sector, I have come to realize that optometry is a profession that allows me to combine both. I have been captivated by human anatomy because of my studies in sciences at school. Studying biology has allowed me to gain a great deal of insight into how the human body develops diseases and how it attempts to fight them – sometimes unsuccessfully. Studying Level Chemistry has reinforced my understanding of biochemistry, which has been of particular interest to me. In school, I have thoroughly enjoyed studying biology and chemistry, and I look forward to applying what I have learned in these subjects to gain a detailed understanding of ocular science.

An extended work placement at a local optician helped me gain a deeper understanding of optometry both as a field of study and a profession. I shadowed different opticians as they performed eye tests and contact lens fittings during the placement. The importance of good communication skills in optometry has become apparent to me. Customers and patients would have a much more difficult time navigating what can often be complex procedures without them. In cases where patients are suffering from vision problems or are distressed by the prospect of undergoing tests, opticians should also act with empathy and patience. In the laboratory, I also had the opportunity to observe – and sometimes participate in – the lens and frame preparation processes during my placement. As a result of this experience, I have a much better understanding of the different types of lenses that are used in glasses, as well as the technical skills involved in making them. Since I found the work placement so rewarding, I have continued to volunteer every Saturday at the same optician.

I have also carried out a work placement at a local pharmacy. This experience encouraged me to develop some of the personal skills that I believe are necessary for working as an optician. During the placement, I had the opportunity to interact with customers. Through this, I learnt how much I enjoy work in which I can offer advice to people, and also felt a gratifying sense of responsibility in response to the fact that the advice I gave them regarding non-prescription medication could play a role in alleviating the symptoms of their health problems.

In my spare time, I have participated in a range of activities that also allow me to be involved in helping people. In Year 12 I mentored a group of Year 7 students; I enjoyed being able to make them feel less apprehensive about starting life in secondary school. I have been involved with several fund-raising initiatives for Afrikids and Cancer Research, such as selling cakes and doing a sponsored walk. These activities gave me a sense of satisfaction by allowing me to work as part of a team with a common goal. My sense of teamwork has also been improved by my involvement in my school’s hockey and netball teams. On a more personal note, I am a highly enthusiastic musician; I play the guitar, and also particularly enjoy traditional Indian music. I have found learning to play an instrument to be both an outlet for self-expression and a way of developing my skills of perseverance. I am also an avid reader of fiction, in particular stories that ignite my sense of adventure, such as Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland.

Recommended reading:

• Personal Statement Examples
• How to Write a Personal Statement for a PhD
• UCAS Personal Statement: A Writing Guide And Tips For Success
• How to Write a Personal Statement That Stands Out
• Tips for Writing a Personal Statement for the University
• How to Write UCAS Reference Letter

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Inside OptomCAS Part II: Your Personal Statement for Applying to Optometry School

In the previous post, we zoomed in on the Letters of Evaluation (LOEs) section of the application for optometry school, clarifying requirements and providing some pearls for effectively fulfilling them. This time we turn our attention to another crucial part of the application: the personal statement, a.k.a., the essay.

The LOEs and the personal statement [both of which you’ll manage through the  Optometry Centralized Application Service (OptomCAS)]  are relied upon heavily by the schools and colleges of optometry as they determine whether you’re the type of person who can succeed as a student in their programs and as a future optometrist. Your official instructions for composing the essay are as follows: “Please describe what inspires your decision for becoming an optometrist, including your preparation for training in this profession, your aptitude and motivation, the basis for your interest in optometry, and your future career goals. Your essay should be limited to 4500 characters.”

While the instructions have a kind of “just the facts,” flat quality, your essay will need to be the opposite of that in order to provide the admissions office with information they’ll notice and appreciate. According to Michael Bacigalupi, OD, MS, FAAO, Assistant Dean for Student Affairs & Admissions at Nova Southeastern University College of Optometry (NSU), “The personal statement allows me to get to know a student much better than just filling out blank spaces and checking off boxes on an application. It gives me a better sense of who the applicant is. Through the personal statement, students can convey what we’re looking for, which is motivation, dedication and a love of the profession of optometry. Those qualities aren’t measurable by OAT scores and GPAs.” By the way, Dr. Bacigalupi uses the word “love” of the profession on purpose. “I want students to be passionate about becoming an optometrist,” he says. “Like in any health profession, the rewards can be substantial, but the road to success is not easy, so you have to love it.”

Like some other schools and colleges of optometry, NSU requires applicants to submit an essay in addition to the personal statement. In fact, they ask for two supplemental essays. The two essay questions change from time to time, but for the last application cycle they were: 1) “What specifically are your reasons for choosing to apply to Nova Southeastern University College of Optometry?” and 2) “Professional school is very challenging. What experiences in your life and/or undergraduate career have prepared you for the rigors of optometry school?”

Dr. Bacigalupi says the statements and essays (he reads about 3,000 per year) that catch his attention are the ones that tell a story and talk about a crossroad or a serious decision an applicant made in life that led him or her to optometry as a career. He cites as an example, “Let’s say someone was an at-risk youth but realized that’s not the way he or she wanted to end up so instead took the right path and decided to focus on school. That’s a story that illustrates motivation.” He also recalls an essay from an applicant who had temporarily lost his vision, which led to the realization of how important sight is in daily life and the desire to help safeguard it for others. Don’t worry if your experiences aren’t as dramatic as those, Dr. Bacigalupi says, just be honest while providing insight into who you really are.

Essays that definitely don’t impress are those that seem to be quickly thrown together or are poorly crafted and contain spelling or grammar errors. “What comes across through those things is that the applicant rushed through this step without much care, which may indicate a lack of commitment or that this isn’t that important to him or her,” Dr. Bacigalupi explains. He recommends having another person or people, perhaps with no ties to optometry, read the personal statement with an eye toward content, grammar and readability before it’s submitted. “That gives you insight into whether it’s readable and will be effective,” he says.

Need more inspiration and ideas about what to write about in your personal statement? ASCO points out in its Optometry Career Guide that, in general, optometry schools are looking for students who can demonstrate strong academic commitment as well as exhibit the potential to excel in deductive reasoning, interpersonal communication and empathy. They like to attract well-rounded candidates who have achieved not only in the classroom but also in other areas, such as in leadership ability. A disposition to serve others and a work ethic characterized by dedication and persistence are other desirable qualities. Adds Dr. Bacigalupi, “We want to see in the statement and essays that we’d be admitting teachable students who ultimately will make good colleagues; therefore, the right balance of people skills and academic abilities is very important.”

The 2015-2016  OptomCAS application  cycle opens on July 1, so the time to start working on your essay is right about now. Good luck!

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How to Write – A Killer Personal Statement Optometry Example

The Personal Statement Optometry Edition

The personal statement for Optometry plays a significant role in the application process for many universities. They provide the admissions team with information on your academia, work experience, and personality, to help them determine whether you’re a good fit for their program.

Personal Statement Format - Optometry

A structured and well-written personal statement will highlight your strengths and demonstrate your transferable skillset. You should include your educational background, work history, volunteering, extracurriculars, hobbies, and aspirations (whether you want to stay in primary care, work in a hospital, or create your own business). If you’ve taken courses related to optometry, be sure to mention those too.

If you’re not too sure what to write about, ask yourself these questions:

What do I hope to accomplish by applying to optometry?

How have my experiences prepared me for university?

Why should they choose me?

This guide has you covered with keywords, bonus tips, and a successful personal statement optometry example.

If you’re applying through UCAS, then you’re limited to 4000 characters (including spaces) and up to 47 lines. Check your length by pasting your draft here , you may need to remove the spaces between paragraphs- this is normal and you will not be penalised for that. 

Table of Contents

• Step 1 – Scope of Practice
• Step 2 – Keywords
• Step 3 – Mentor/Editing Service
• Killer Personal Statement Optometry Example
• Overview of the statement

Step 1: Understand an Optometrist's Scope of Practice

An optometrist’s  Scope of Practice simply means what their roles are, what they’re allowed to do, and day-to-day roles. 

Roles – Research the difference between roles of dispensing opticians, optometrists, ophthalmologists, and

– this will show off your background research and understanding.

If you have shadowed an optometrist, mention their roles in educating, advocating, and treating patients. This isn’t somewhere to list roles but suggests how you hope to make a difference through these roles.

Standards of Practice – Look into the General Optical Council Standards – These are 19 standards each optical professional must abide by. Integrate some of these in your personal statement optometry.

e.g., Standard 5: Keep your knowledge and skills up to date – Show your ability to research outside of your currciculum, mention an article, or research that you read. Show that you’re aware that learning extends beyond university!

Step 2: Keywords

• Collaboration- an ability to work closely with others
• Educator- willingness to teach others, educate patients on their vision health
• Advocate- care and support those with visual conditions, impairments & vulnerable patients
• Leader- handle the business side of optometry, manage a clinic, and mentor juniors
• Empathy- work with a diverse community, care for the young, elderly, those with disabilities etc…
• Communication- an ability to speak coherently, clearly, jargon-free, and alter your tone

Purchase the full guide with 3 successful examples, keywords, insider knowledge, top tips, full structure breakdown, and more...

Step 3: mentor/editing service.

Find a Mentor

Most applicants resort to their career adviser for help with their optometry personal statement. Make sure your career adviser has a track record of successful students who have previously applied and helped with a personal statement optometry application.

Optometry is a unique field, focusing on the eyes and a part of healthcare. It’s competitive, meaning you want to use each paragraph to add value rather than repeating what’s already on your UCAS application.

The universities will have your academic records, predicted grades, and final results- so they know you’re hard working and can handle the workload. They want to know how you are as a person, your work experience, knowledge beyond the A Level curriculum, and evidence of your caring nature.

Professional Mentor – a personal statement editor or advisor is someone who helps applicants for a living. They should have had experience with optometry and the application process. My services include editing, rewriting, content addition or budget services which include proofreading, review, and grammar corrections .

Optometrist – if you’ve shadowed an optometrist you might be able to ask them to read through your personal statement for optometry. They can highlight any technical errors or fact-check to make sure the content is correct

Personal Statement Optometry Example

“As an avid photographer, I grew passionate about learning the different camera lenses, apertures, and their impact on focus. This intertwined with my anatomical interests, which stemmed from biology, where I dissected an eye. Visualising the ciliary muscles and learning their function alongside the zonular fibres helped me to understand their function on the lens. A simple contraction causes tension enabling us to focus on near objects. This significant but small muscle carries out an essential function, if impaired, our vision would be hugely affected. Researching this inspired me to understand ocular anatomy and age-related conditions. My research and the dissection tutorial sparked my fascination for vision health. As a teenager, I was always drawn to healthcare, but I was now drawn to this fascinating sector of healthcare. Following my research on age-related conditions, I came across cataracts which are prevalent within the geriatric population. I oversaw the impact cataracts had on elderly patients while volunteering weekly at a residential home. Many residents lacked independence due to their visual impairments and mobility issues. I recognised that many required visual aids, glasses, or regular medication and appointments. To understand the impact this had on their quality of life, I spoke to many who were happy to share their stories. I empathised with their struggles and understood how vision is essential. I also learned how residents coped with their deteriorating vision by improving their room lighting, colour-coded medication, and asking for help. I was able to help with tasks like clipping nails, meal times, and cleaning. I found the team to be very helpful, and we worked closely to make sure everyone was cared for. This work was undoubtedly rewarding, but it made me wonder how those in developing countries or of a lower income are able to access or afford such care. This made me grateful for the cataract surgeries and extensive care the NHS provides for all ages. I hope to use this experience to understand my future patients and educate them on coping methods while they await surgery. I found myself using a more gentle and slower speech when communicating with elderly patients; some suffered from hearing issues and additionally required me to write things down or speak facing them while accentuating my words. I now bear this in mind and am more patient and empathetic toward others. To understand what optometry entails, I shadowed my optometrist for two weeks. I oversaw consultations, eye health checks, diabetic checks, and the use of OCT scans. Being eager to learn, I curiously asked the optometrist to explain the purpose behind each check. I’m grateful that she was kind enough to explain the procedures and the various conditions that can arise. We spoke about retinal detachment, symptoms, and the risk of sudden vision loss. I recognised how crucial it is to care for those in the chair, whether it be elderly patients or those with limited English. Each required a thorough check and an explanation that they could understand. In order to gain a comprehensive experience, I learned about the administrative side of optometry, what is involved in running a clinic, and ensuring referrals are followed up. I had a chance to respond to phone calls and book appointments. This improved my communication skills and ability to empathise with those who were distressed by their symptoms, I could relate as I had recently suffered from allergies, which caused a great deal of irritation and itchiness. Overall, I believe my shadowing, rooted interests in anatomy, and willingness to work in a patient-centred profession have drawn me to optometry. I, therefore, wish to learn, develop, and treat those who are in my care by providing a quality service that will continue beyond university.”

Remember- Scope of Practice, use keywords, and get help with your Personal Statement Optometry

Sentence structure, flow, spelling, and grammar are equally important. Without flow and good transitional sentences, it becomes difficult to read, losing the admission tutor’s interest.

Therefore, I strongly advise getting professional help with the draft once it is written. Invest in your future now to maximise your chances of getting into your dream 0ptometry course.

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How to Write a Personal Statement For Optometry School

Every year, the new application cycle for optometry schools in the US begins in late June. Students are required to fill out and submit their applications through the Optometry Centralized Application Service (OptomCAS). Within the OptomCAS portal, there are several required documents, such as a personal statement and supplementary essays. A personal statement is a written piece required by optometry schools in the US that demonstrates who the writer is as a person, their personal and academic goals, and why they would be a good fit for the optometry program. The personal statement prompt is as follows:

Please describe what inspires your decision for becoming an optometrist, including your preparation for training in this profession, your aptitude and motivation, the basis for your interest in optometry, and your future career goals.

How you choose to answer the prompt is up to you, but you must do so in 4500 characters, which is equal to approximately 750 words. Because of how broad the prompt is, getting started on your personal statement can be a daunting task. You want to be concise yet clearly describe your motivations and reasons for pursuing optometry. If you are struggling to get started or having trouble with the OptomCAS portal, feel free to keep reading or check out our OptomCAS Application Guide . In this article, we will discuss 8 tips to help you write the perfect personal statement .

1️⃣ Start Early

The OptomCAS application cycle begins in late June every year, and this year it opens on June 29 th , 2023. There is no better time to start than now, as maximizing the amount of time spent on your personal statement will allow for more time to reread and revise! Optometry schools in the US also run on a rolling admission basis, meaning that the earlier you submit your completed application, the more seats will be available in each class and the higher your chances of receiving admission. Therefore, you want to give yourself at least 3 months to get a rough draft down so that you can set it aside, revisit what you have written, and enhance it even further.

2️⃣ Find Your Angle

You are given 4500 characters, or around 750 words, for your personal statement. Due to this word limit, it’s important to get your main points across but in an engaging, eloquent way. Instead of simply listing reasons why you are qualified for optometry school or why you think a certain program would best fit you, consider using a narrative to share your story instead. For example, you could write about an experience that sparked your interest in optometry, a personal life obstacle that you had to overcome that made you who you are today, or even a relationship with a family member, mentor or optometrist that inspired you to change your career path.

3️⃣ Focus On Your Values

If you are struggling to get started on your personal statement, reflect on your three main reasons for choosing to pursue optometry and the values you want to uphold as a future healthcare practitioner. With these values in mind, you can then extend your thought process into discussing different work or shadowing experiences in order to showcase what you have learned and how these initiatives have reinforced your passion for optometry. For example, if life-long learning is an important aspect of optometry that drives your passion for the field, and you have seen first-hand how newly developing technology has shaped a patient’s life, you can describe the experience you had in seeing how much the patient was struggling with their condition and how much better they were doing after being treated. This can then be played into how much you value lifelong learning and how you hope not only to continue educating yourself but your patients as well.

4️⃣ Do Not Summarize Your Resume

As mentioned earlier, do not use your personal statement to simply list off your accomplishments. This includes your GPA, standardized testing scores (such as your OAT or GRE scores), and basic tasks that you performed at an optometry clinic. Instead, take this time to reflect and describe how you grew and what you learned from interacting with patients and doctors during your clinical experiences. The same idea also applies to listing off qualities of your personality that you believe set you apart from other applicants and make you suitable for the field. For instance, simply stating that you have excellent communication skills and work ethic will not support your personal statement and application very strongly if you do not provide any examples to demonstrate those characteristics.

5️⃣ Be Specific

Adding onto the last tip, you can describe your experiences through short personal anecdotes. Instead of writing a long, elaborate life story, use a short personal narrative that includes specific details like the names of doctors you worked with or certain ocular or health conditions you saw. This will help illustrate important experiences you had or aspects of the field that have facilitated your learning and reinforced your passion for optometry. In other words – show, not tell!

6️⃣ Minimize Negativity

Another point to keep in mind when writing your personal statement is to keep any negative talk to a minimum. Although negative experiences with an optometrist or health care provider may have been the driving force or spark to your interest in pursuing optometry, try to keep the description short so you can move on and discuss what you have learned from the experience instead. Use your writing to focus on how the experience shaped you or changed your outlook for the better. This also applies to negativity such as addressing poor grades or hardships in your life – if you believe mentioning these aspects will do more harm than good, consider not mentioning them at all in your personal statement. With the limited word count, it would be best to focus on the positives instead of accentuating your flaws.

7️⃣ Ask For Feedback

Lastly, make sure to ask for feedback before submitting your personal statement. This goes hand in hand with starting early, as you want to allow yourself enough time to get a rough first draft down and an improved second draft before sending your work out for feedback. Consider sharing your draft with people of different backgrounds and stages of life to get a variety of perspectives – this includes professors, mentors, current optometry students, optometrists, friends of different academic backgrounds, or a pre-health advisor, if possible. Ask specifically for constructive criticism, especially regarding how clearly your piece answers the personal statement prompt and how strongly your experiences support your points.

8️⃣ Read, Review, and Read Again

Once you have asked for feedback, take some time to make any adjustments according to the criticism received. Afterward, step away for a few days before revisiting your personal statement with fresh eyes to make any necessary changes. Set a personal deadline for when you will have all your required documents ready to go. Within the remaining time, go through a few more cycles of editing so that you can better refine your piece before submitting the final copy.

👉 Conclusion

With the OptomCAS cycle up and running, it’s important to get a head start on your personal statement. As discussed, there are many aspects to your personal statement, so starting as early as you can will provide you with enough time to perfect your work and best express yourself through your application. Hopefully these 8 tips have been helpful and will get you on the right track to starting your piece. At the same time, there are also other required documents in your OptomCAS application, such as your Optometry Admission Test (OAT) scores and reference letters. For more information on the OAT and how to ask for a strong reference letter, feel free to read our articles: How to Study for the OAT , How Is the OAT Scored , What Is a Good OAT Score , What to Expect on OAT Exam Day and How to ask for Reference Letters for Optometry School Applications . Good luck!

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How to write a wicked awesome personal statement

Today I want to reach out to those prospective students out there who are trying to tackle the ever-daunting personal statement.

For some of you, writing isn’t your strong suit, writing about yourself is uncomfortable, and fitting everything within 4,500 characters seems impossible. However, personal statements are extremely important. They are the “face” to your application. Without it, you’re only a list of achievements and scores.

Kristen Tobin, Director of Admissions at NECO, says, “The purpose of a personal statement is for a student to provide a more personalized overview of who they are as a person and as an applicant.  The personal statement is great opportunity for a student to talk about their journey and what has led them to the decision to pursue optometry.” This is your chance to show admissions who you really are before they call you in to interview!

In this blog I’ve compiled some strategies I found helpful, some advice from NECO Admissions, and web resources to help you write a killer personal statement.

Start early.

Writing is a process, and this is one of the most important things you’ll write, so you want to give yourself plenty of time. Begin your brainstorming at least a month in advance! Ms. Tobin advises, “As students sit down to write their personal statement, I encourage them to take some time to reflect on their own academic, professional and personal experiences and how those experiences led them to applying to optometry school and to NECO.” After cranking out your first draft, put it away for several days. Look at it again with fresh eyes, then revise and revise again. When you think you’ve finished, take it to a friend, mentor, or writing center for feedback. Repeat as necessary. You’ll go through several revisions before you have a final copy.

Avoid summarizing your resume.

Your personal statement is not your resume in word form. Admissions will already have a list of your achievements and extracurricular activities in addition to your GPA and OAT scores. What they really need to know is who you are as a person, what you value, and what kind of doctor you will be. Ms. Tobin explains, “At NECO we complete a very holistic approach of applications which includes reviewing grades, test scores, work, volunteer and extracurricular experience, and letters of recommendation. What the personal statement adds to the equation is insight into the student as a person and also as a potential student and optometrist.”

Tell a story.

Admissions staff will be reading through hundreds of applications; yours needs to stand out. Try structuring your personal statement in a way that follows a narrative. Begin with a hook, something that draws the reader in, such as a particular experience or personality trait that makes you unique. Then use that throughout the paper to keep a natural flow. While a thesis statement is not necessary for personal statements, I recommend having one to guide and structure the rest of your paper.

For example, I began my personal statement by describing the scene at one of my volunteer experiences. I then used aspects of that experience throughout the paper to illustrate why optometry is a good fit and what traits I felt qualified me to be admitted.

One of the purposes of the personal statement is for admissions to find out what kind of person you are. This is your chance to show your personality! Talk about why you chose optometry and what motivates you to succeed. It might feel more natural to talk about your family, the doctors you shadowed, or particular patient experiences, but remember to focus on  you . The admissions staff at NECO wants you to know “The best personal statements are reflective, thoughtful, honest and most importantly, well written!  We understand that not every student has a radically compelling story but we know that everyone does have something to share.  I find that optometry students are some of the most dedicated, hard-working and compassionate people I have ever met and often times the best essays exude these qualities.

Still feeling lost? Check out these articles written for students just like you:

• “Your application to [optometry] school is a testimony to your desire to ultimately be a doctor. The admissions committee will look at your essay to see that you’ve answered the obvious, but not so simple, question “Why?” You must be able to explain your motivation for attending [optometry] school.” The Student Doctor Network
• “Remember that you’re selling yourself as a great addition to the profession. This is where you talk about your strengths, passion for the field, and all your extra-curricular hard work you’ve done in preparing for optometry school.” oatcracker.com/blog
• “The goal of this essay is to have your reader put down your [personal statement] and say to themselves “wow, this applicant knows exactly why they want to become a [optometrist] and it’s legit.” NOT “oh wow this applicant is very qualified.” reddit.com/the-personal-statement

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Personal Statement Example

Excellent Optometry Personal Statement Example

Optometry personal statement online for all.

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We are perfect and best for writing your personal statement for pharmacy school or optometry. Our personal statement writing service online is reliable and economical as well too. We write personal statements very regularly for the students all over the world and all our clients are always happy with our services too. It is your turn now to try our services for availing your personal statement.

Optometry Personal Statement Example

My knowledge with various subjects in my school helped me well to excel well at academic front so far. Especially, my command and knowledge acquired in subjects like mathematics, economics and chemistry requires special mentioning here. Knowledge in mathematics helped me to improve my analytical skills and problem resolving skills to a great extent. Reasoning and investigation is also added additional skills for me through command over mathematics. Similarly, chemistry subject knowledge allowed me to understand well molecular level ideas and improved as well my manipulative skills too. My economics subject knowledge made more adaptive for the any kind of situation. Definitely, these three subjects knowledge instilled special qualities and skills in me until now. I find myself as apt to take optometry degree keeping in mind my acquired skills and knowledge. It has been my greatest desire and goal now to complete optometry degree in your prestigious college. I knew it well the opted degree program demands more commitment from me and my acquired skills are definitely going to be a greatest support for this purpose too. This career prospective degree program helps me build my career in a better way to excel well at optical work field. Mainly, correcting vision of the people something that I could able to offer in return to my country through completing this degree program. I regularly participate in many volunteering activities in order to find out others around us and to understand their opinions and ideas from their perspective. It offered me a chance to understand the world and it gave me chance to understand, what is that I could able to offer to this world in return. My acquired academic exposure and experience through volunteering made me decide towards acquiring degree in optometry and applied to your institute along with my application and all other credentials. I am seriously interested in pursuing this program with utmost devotion and determination. My devotion and determination will help me well to do well with the program and to build my future too. I am sincerely requesting you to consider my application through going through my candidature. The chance given will help me to prove about myself and to be a part of world as real help in improving the vision of the public. I will be waiting to hear your acceptance.

This  nurse personal statement is available for everyone all over the world and is used to get useful information and assistance.

Be sure that this optometry personal statement example written by our professionals will be a great help in your future!

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Blog for Optometry Admission Test and Optometry School

Oat cracker blog, applying to optometry school: optomcas personal statement writing.

• 21. Jul. 2014
• Advice , OptomCAS , Optometry School , Pre-Optometry Society , Tips

In case you missed the memo, the OptomCAS aka the big dental school application for next fall is officially opened! The Association of Schools and Colleges of Optometry (ASCO) uses the OptomCAS aka the Optometry Centralized Application Service as a general application when applying to Optometry schools and it allows you to use one application to apply to multiple of any of the 21 programs in the U.S. If you’re planning to apply for Fall 2015, it’s time to start the process and by the way there is a PERSONAL STATEMENT required **cue the music** Although the essay is about YOU, you still have an agenda: it still needs to be written in a professional manner and highlight your professional skills, experiences, and interests. That doesn’t have to be so scary! Think of it kind of like answering that classic job interview inquiry: “Tell me about yourself.” Oh no. Did I just make it worse? **cue the music again**

Your OptomCAS Personal Statement is a place for you to “describe what inspires your decision for becoming an optometrist, including your preparation for training in this profession, your aptitude and motivation, the basis for your interest in optometry, and your future career goals” oh and do it in under 4,500 characters (including letters, spaces, punctuation (like on twitter)), which is only about a page long. So exactly why are you are seeking a optometry education? You need to articulate that you motivated, academically prepared, plus knowledgeable and passionate about the profession. This can be a little tricky; the key is balance. You want to sell yourself professional while remaining personable. By no means is this a creative writing piece; you want to be clear, concise, and professional. Keep in mind: optometry schools are making first judgments on you based on the OptomCAS application, and the OptomCAS Personal Statement is the ONLY place to make a case for yourself IN YOUR OWN WORDS!

One especially cool thing about the OptomCAS is that your Personal Statement is a school-specific question in the application. This means you can tailor your essay to each program you’re applying to and talk about specifically why this school is the best fit for you!

Remember that you’re selling yourself as a great addition to the profession. This is where you talk about your strengths, passion for the field, and all your extra-curricular hard work you’ve done in preparing for optometry school (and let’s face it also for this particular essay here).

Three key points to hit:

o   Why Optometry? – The lifelong childhood dream is all good and fine really but if that’s not the case be candid and honest and talk about your road to discovery, that’s interesting! Your journey to writing this OptomCAS Personal Statement may be long and winding. How did you land on optometry?

o   Shadowing or Assisting Experience – Talk up your observation hours in a optometry’s office setting and how these times increased your knowledge and understanding of the field. These experiences show you really know what’s like in the real world application of the optometry school.

o   Volunteerism – show your interest in working with/for the community and commitment to helping other. It’s important to include both volunteer activities that are relevant to the field and even some that isn’t. For example, working at an animal shelters shows your well rounded not just in a pre-opt mode all the time. Also include the volunteer work related to the optometry profession that you may have done with a Pre-Opt society (that’s how you work that you were active in the club in the essay too)!

The ole phrase “writing is rewriting” rings true here this case. Have a trusty professor or an optometry professional read it and give you feedback. They know what admissions committees are looking for and have insight on how to relate your experiences to the field. Final piece of advice: you can still upgrade your OAT Cracker account and unlock the all the practice tests for $49 instead of the regular $99 sooooo go do that and you’ll have gleaming OAT scores to match this beautiful essay!

Applying for Optometry School: OptomCAS Opens July 1st!

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Although most applicants focus on GPA and test-scores, the personal statement is a very important component of your application and should be carefully composed. This is your opportunity to highlight things about yourself that may not be mentioned in other sections of your application and to distinguish yourself from other applicants.

You should have several different people objectively read your personal statement and provide constructive feedback. In addition to the Health Professions Advisory Committee (HPAC) , your letter writers are often a great option. There are also resources on campus that can assist you, such as the UH Writing Center , University Career Services , and your major advisor. Consider the feedback you receive carefully, but be sure that the personal statement is still written in your voice!

Below we have outlined some advice and general guidelines to consider while writing your personal statement. Keep in mind that these recommendations are not restricted to medical/dental applications, but can be applied while writing essays for any healthcare professional program.

• See also UH University Career Services Personal Statement Tips
• Sign up for the UH Writing Center Personal Statement Workshops

Types of Prompts

Before beginning your personal statement, it is important you carefully review the specific question (or prompt) that is being asked and the character-limit, as there can be distinct differences between the application services.

TMDSAS ( 5000 characters ):

• Explain your motivation to seek a career in medicine. You are asked to include the value of your experiences that prepare you to be a physician.
• Explain your motivation to seek a career in dentistry. You are asked to discuss your philosophy of the dental profession and indicate your goals relevant to the profession.
• Personal Characteristics Essay - Learning from others is enhanced in educational settings that include individuals from diverse backgrounds and experiences. Please describe your personal characteristics (background, talents, skills, etc.) or experiences that would add to the educational experience of others. The personal characteristics essay is required to all applicants and limited to 2500 characters, including spaces.
• Optional Essay – The optional essay is an opportunity to provide the admissions committee(s) with a broader picture of who you are as an applicant. The essay is optional, however, you are strongly encouraged to take advantage of this opportunity. Consider briefly discussing any unique circumstances or life experiences that are relevant to your application which have not previously been presented. Optional Essay is limited to 2500 characters, including spaces.

AMCAS ( 5300 characters ):

• Why have you selected the field of medicine?
• What motivates you to learn more about medicine?
• What do you want medical schools to know about you that has not been disclosed in other sections of the application?

AACOMAS ( 5300 characters ):

• What motivates you to learn more about osteopathic medicine?

AADSAS ( 4500 characters ):

• Explain a defining moment that helped steer you toward a career in dentistry. Consider using that moment as the focal point of your essay.
• Be colorful, positive, imaginative and personal when discussing why you are a good candidate for dental school. Ask yourself—in a pile of 100 applications, would I enjoy reading my statement? Be sure to convey your passion for dentistry in your statement.
• Be yourself.  Don’t use jargon, clichés or big phrases that you would not use in daily conversation. Remember, dental schools want to know about the real you.
• Be original and thoughtful: Discuss how you would contribute to the profession and patient care, all of which will help you stand out from other applicants.

AACPMAS (4500 characters):

• State below why you are interested in becoming a Doctor of Podiatric Medicine. Provide information about your development for a career in Podiatric Medicine

CASPA (5000 characters):

• In the space provided write a brief statement expressing your motivation or desire to become a physician assistant.

OptomCAS (4500 characters) :

Essays can be customized for each individual Optometry program.  Most Optometry schools include this as their main essay question:

• Please describe what inspires your decision for becoming an optometrist, including your preparation for training in this profession, your aptitude and motivation, the basis for your interest in optometry, and your future career.

OTCAS (no character limit):

• Your Personal Statement should address why you selected OT as a career and how an Occupational Therapy degree relates to your immediate and long-term professional goals. Describe how your personal, educational, and professional background will help you achieve your goals.

PTCAS (4500 characters):

• Prompt: Every person has a story that has led them to a career. Since there are a variety of health professions that "help" others, please go beyond your initial interaction or experiences with physical therapy and share the deeper story that has confirmed your decision to specifically pursue physical therapy as your career.

PharmCAS (4500 characters):

• Your Personal Essay should address why you selected pharmacy as a career. How the Doctor of Pharmacy degree relates to your immediate and long-term professional goals. You should describe how your personal, educational, and professional background will help you achieve your goals.

VMCAS (1000 characters):

• There are many career choices within the veterinary What are your future career goals and why?
• In what ways do veterinarians contribute to society and what do you hope to contribute?
• Consider the breadth of society which veterinarians What attributes do you believe are essential to be successful within the veterinary profession? Of these attributes, which do you possess and how have you demonstrated these in the past?

When should I start writing?

You should begin working on your personal statement early in the spring semester prior to your intended application year and submitting your application materials to HPAC (if applicable).  Remember that the people who are helping you with your statement will need time to review it and you will need time to work through multiple drafts before submission.  In addition, some of your letter writers may want to see a copy of your personal statement before they write your letter, so you should strive to have a competent draft by mid-March.

What should be included?

It is important to treat the personal statement as an answer to a question (i.e., the prompt), rather than the opportunity to flex your creative writing muscles. Indeed, most applicants are STEM majors without much experience in creative writing; therefore, it is recommended that you avoid using the essay to practice your creative writing skills and stick to simply addressing the prompt in a direct, concise way. Some questions you may want to consider while planning your essay are:

• Why have you selected the field of medicine, dentistry, or other health profession?
• What motivates you to learn more about medicine, dentistry, or other health profession?
• How have you demonstrated your interest and commitment to your decision?
• What experiences have allowed you to develop the skills necessary to be successful in this program and to become an effective physician, dentist, PA, etc.?
• Did you have any exposure to role models who influenced your decision? Which of their attributes inspired you?
• Are your perceptions of this profession realistic?
• What are your professional goals?
• Is there anything you wish for your chosen health professional schools to know about you that has not been disclosed in other sections of the application?

Depending on the nature of the prompt, you may also wish to include information such as:

• Unique hardships, challenges, or obstacles that may have influenced your educational pursuits.
• Commentary on significant fluctuations in your academic record that are not explained elsewhere in your application.

What should NOT be included?

• Avoid clichés and over-using/mis-using terms : How many times do you think admissions committees have read the phrase, “I want to become a physician because I like science and I want to help people”? Similarly, words like empathy and passion are, while applicable, can become empty in meaning when overused or misused. Consider exemplifying these terms, rather than simply stating them.
• Avoid unnecessary drama: While you may feel compelled to "hook" the reader with a dramatic opening to your statement, doing so may detract from the overall purpose (i.e., describing your decision to pursue medicine/dentistry) and may induce many an eye-roll by committee members.
• Avoid being vague : "[Insert experience] was challenging and rewarding." What does that mean? Be specific about what was impactful and how it affected you.
• Avoid brash decision-making :  Your decision to become a doctor/dentist should be the result of a series of thoughtful, conscious, and reflective decisions. NOT an instantaneous realization or epiphany. Similarly, you have not “always known” that you want to be a physician/dentist. No one is "born to be a doctor." Nothing is innate, you have to work for it.
• Avoid excuses :  In general, there are better uses for your personal statement than explaining away and justifying poor grades, incidents of misconduct, etc. Indeed, TMDSAS offers additional essays and opportunities to discuss these issues. However, if you choose to address these subjects, be sure to focus on what you have learned from those incidents and how your experiences have made you a stronger person.  Always accept responsibility and avoid blaming anyone else for your decisions or mistakes.
• Avoid restating your resume or activities section :  Choose ONE or TWO significant and distinguishing experiences to elaborate upon when outline the reasons behind your decision to pursue a career in healthcare. There is no need to narrate completely your 4+ years of college or carefully detail your activities from year to year; indeed, there are other sections in the application where you can detail your experiences and what you learned from each.
• Avoid grandiosity :  Claiming that you plan to cure cancer (or HIV, or healthcare disparities, or anything else) shows a grave lack of understanding of whatever problem you are planning to solve. Similarly, avoid “I know what it is like to be a physician/dentist from [shadowing/clinical volunteer experience].”  No, you do not.  That is precisely why you are hoping to go to medical/dental school.
• Avoid inflammatory or controversial topics :  You do not know the values, beliefs, and background of the committee member reading your essay.  For these reasons, you are advised to avoid making any strong statements regarding politics, religion, and other polarizing topics.  Be extremely cautious to avoid expressing any views that could be construed as derogatory to any group.  Additionally, your beliefs are not the only “correct” beliefs. 
• Do not lie :  Honesty and ethical behavior are the hallmarks of being a healthcare professional. Do not include details anywhere in your application or essay that you are not prepared to talk about or that are simply untrue.

Additional Recommendations

• Use simple formatting : Avoid the use of bullet-points, italics, and symbols.
• Read your statement aloud : As you draft your statement, reading what you have written aloud can help you determine whether your writing "flows" well and is an easy read for a reviewer.

Optometry Personal Statement Examples

BSc Optometry Personal Statement Example

My part-time work at Specsavers gave me insight into optometry, making me eager to learn more and study at a higher level. Using this optometry personal statement, I want to pursue a bachelor’s degree in optometry.

My part-time work generally carried out fundamental tasks such as filing, updating prescription records and booking appointments. It also included working with patients directly, using equipment such as an auto-refractor, auto non-contact tonometer and visual fields machine as part of the pre-test procedures.

In addition, I have spent a day shadowing an Ophthalmologist at the practice. This allowed me to observe how eye examinations are carried out, witnessing the specialist equipment used, such as the slit-lamp and ophthalmoscope, alongside other professional skills.

This beneficial experience has improved my teamwork, public relations and customer care abilities, and self-confidence by working with people in a high street practice environment.

Following GCSEs, I studied AS level Civic Education, Nutrition and English Language & Literature. Despite getting on well with my initial AS choices, I was inspired by the experience of working with opticians, which developed into an ambition of studying optometry at University and becoming an Optometrist in the long term.

After researching the necessary background, I changed my subjects to Chemistry, Human Biology and Psychology, which required me to complete a further year of sixth-form study.

I chose to complete the whole English A level, which has complemented the other subjects well. They have been psychologically beneficial to me because I now feel I am on the right track, at the same time broadening my understanding and skills in science and computation.

I have enjoyed reading various books, including Carlos-Ruiz Zafon and Arthur Conan Doyle. This has widened my reading undertaken for English and reflects my interest in reading additional materials. I especially enjoy cycling every day to get around and enjoy swimming and tennis. I can be a ready volunteer and have spent a day making key rings to promote a lent activity at a local Church.

I am a confident and hard-working individual with 100% attendance. I also have two awards for exceptional attendance. Through work experience, I have visited the Pinsonte School of Music & Drama and The Royal Academy of Vintage Art.

This allowed me to view an entire educational organisation in action and observe the lives of students and staff. I, therefore, feel I have some idea of the Higher Education experience.

I believe that my high self-motivation and enthusiasm for optometry, coupled with my intensive research and independent study before starting my revised AS programme, have equipped me to succeed in my chosen course.

Please kindly consider my Optometry personal statement for admission into your university.

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Basic Guide: OPTOMCAS Personal Statement Example

Table of Contents

A great OPTOMCAS personal statement is a time capsule of your experiences, perspectives, and what you want to offer. This guide provides an OPTOMCAS personal statement example to help you write a winning personal statement.

It also dissects how to write a tremendous OPTOMCAS personal statement that stands out from others. Read on!

What Is an OPTOMCAS Personal Statement?

An OPTOMCAS personal statement is a document you submit with your optometry school application. Your statement allows you to introduce yourself to the admissions committee .

It should highlight your academic and professional achievements and why you are interested in pursuing optometry as a career.

The best way to write this statement is to discuss how much you care about optics with great examples that show your passion.

How to Write a Captivating OPTOMCAS Personal Statement

The best way to create a captivating personal statement for OPTOMCAS is by focusing on your story. Also, ensure that your tone of voice is professional and polished. Other important points to note are:

• Be sure to capture the reader’s attention with an engaging introduction.
• Provide information about yourself that showcases your unique qualifications and experiences.
• Demonstrate your passion for optometry by sharing examples of how you’ve used this field to help others.
• Make it clear why you are interested in optometry school and what you hope to gain from the experience.
• Share how you became interested in optometry and why you want to pursue this career.
• Remember to highlight your academic achievements, volunteer work, and other relevant experience.
• Finally, close with a firm conclusion that leaves the reader eager to learn more about you.

OPTOMCAS Personal Statement Example

A personal statement like the one below is essential when applying to optometry school. It allows admissions staff to see your qualifications and get insight into who you are as an individual .

As an optometry student, you must possess excellent critical thinking and problem-solving skills. In my academic experience, I have honed these skills by working closely with professors and classmates on various projects.

For example, while completing my undergraduate degree in biology at the University of California, Los Angeles, I conducted research specializing in eye health. This opportunity allowed me to develop strong analytical abilities and understand how different scientific findings can impact clinical care.

Additionally, as a member of the Tau Beta Pi engineering honor society at UCLA, I worked on team projects that required creativity and precision. Through this involvement, I learned how to communicate ideas effectively within a group setting and work toward a common goal.

My background positions me well to thrive in the optometry program at your school. The rigorous coursework and hands-on experience will allow me to expand my knowledge base and become an effective clinician.

Furthermore, being part of a diverse classroom community will challenge me academically while providing opportunities for collaboration outside of class time.

Final Words

The OPTOMCAS personal statement example above aims to show a successful strategy for writing a captivating personal statement.

It details what to include in your statement and how to organize the information. Make the most of your opportunity to market yourself in your statements.

Abir Ghenaiet

Abir is a data analyst and researcher. Among her interests are artificial intelligence, machine learning, and natural language processing. As a humanitarian and educator, she actively supports women in tech and promotes diversity.

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Do’s and Don’ts of Writing a Memorable & Winning Personal Statement

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Personal Statement:Optometry 1

Optometry Personal Statement

Mathematics, chemistry and economics 'A' levels have provided me with a varied knowledge and a range of skills. Mathematics has helped me excel in my ability to analyse a problem and think of a systematic way of solving it. I have a personality trait of always investigating the reasoning behind a concept and this is why I enjoy mathematics. This is also the basis why I enjoy reading on science so much as it explains reasons and theories on things we come across in everyday situations

Chemistry has enabled me to logically understand these ideas at a molecular level and has improved my manipulative skills. I enjoy using resources such as the internet to obtain background knowledge on scientific news as well as news about the current economy. Economics is a subject that can be adapted and be useful to any situation, understanding how markets are run and how formulae can be used to be able to make analytical judgements from. I have also obtained an AS level in ICT, this was very enjoyable and I obtained a lot from it, some of the knowledge I obtained in ICT is adaptable in any situation and especially in recent times where there has been an upsurge in the applications and usage of information systems

I would like to become an optometrist and in order to meet this aspiration of mine I want to complete a degree in optometry. Research and discussions with university students and pre-registration students have enabled me to reach a fully informed decision on demands and expectations to be an optometrist. I am confident that I have the necessary skills, attributes and commitment to complete this demanding course. The course involves a career prospect which will allow me to build further upon my interests in detailed optical work, I feel that improving patients' quality of life by helping them in correcting their vision will bring me a lot of job satisfaction

I enjoy participating in work in my community, I have helped organise annual fairs within my community as well as raising money for it and other charities by participating in activities such as charity walks, swim-a-thons and a five mile run; which was especially rewarding for me as I achieved thirty third position out of several thousand. I enjoy participating in charity events as I find it gratifying to see a large group of people participating in an activity to raise money for the same objective. I currently have a part time job at a community run Saturday school. I began as a volunteer whereby my duties involved carrying out administrative work as well as being an English and Mathematics support teacher. This meant that I would work alongside a teacher to help students in reaching their full potential. I participated in this 3 hours a week. I developed several skills including administrative and organisational skills. This job is very fulfilling seeing the difference made when knowledge is passed on from one person to another. I feel that I am lucky to be a part of the flowing creativity and the general enthusiasm that this school thrives. I enjoy this as I have the opportunity to work with public. A future goal of mine is to run my own ophthalmic practice, this will combine both interests of being able to work with the public and the interest of the optometry course and this inevitably will form a perfect career for me

I enjoy playing sport and keeping active, every week I attend a community run sports club where I play sports including indoor football, table tennis and badminton which is a favourite sport of mine. I also participate in tournaments with against different teams in these sports. As I enjoy playing sport I decided further my knowledge by taking part in a Junior Sports Leadership Award, this enabled me to increase my communicative skills, sporting skills and refereeing skills

I am a conscientious student and am determined to achieve the best that I can in order to succeed as a student as well as a person. I look forward to the challenges and range of experiences that await me in higher education and university life. I know that the course will be demanding but I know that I can achieve my predicted grades as long as I put in maximum effort; I accept that one has the ability to prosper in life as long as good effort is sustained.

General Comments

Firstly, this personal statement is a bit longer than is permitted, both in terms of the number of characters and the number of lines it takes up.

The structure of this statement is a bit jumbled, with no clear introduction and does not have enough about optometry, the subject being applied for, with only ¼ of the characters available used to talk about this. This statement would benefit from being rebalanced with at least half devoted to optometry. When the applicant is talking about the subjects that they're studying, they need to try and relate them back to optometry and how the skills they've developed in their subjects might be useful for the degree and in the future. Similarly, they mention various skills they've learned from voluntary work (they talk about a lot of different activities, which is good) and need to talk about why they are important for optometry.

SPaG (spelling, punctuation and grammar): there are no full stops at the end of sentences and subjects like 'english' and 'mathematics' don't need capitalising. A lot of the sentences in this statement start with 'I,' more variation in how the sentences are started would help to make the statement 'flow' a lot better.

Comments on the statement

Mathematics, chemistry and economics 'A' levels have provided me with a varied knowledge and a range of skills. For a start, the applicant does not need to list the subjects they are taking, as this wastes precious space (this information is already on the UCAS form). Secondly, the applicant has not started their statement by talking about why they want to study optometry – while there is no set structure, it is usually inadvisable to start a statement by talking about A levels. Mathematics has helped me to excel in my ability to analyse a problem and think of a systematic way of solving it. The applicant needs to try and relate this to optometry – instead of just saying that this ability has been improved, they need to talk about why this is important for optometry. I have a personality trait of always investigating the reasoning behind a concept and this is why I enjoy mathematics. This sentence doesn't completely make sense, either technically or grammatically and would be better left out entirely. This is also the basis why I enjoy reading on science so much as it explains the reasons and theories of behind things we come across in everyday situations . (full stop) This paragraph would work better as an academic paragraph, rather than an introduction.

This should ideally be part of the previous paragraph as it seems like it would follow on. Chemistry has enabled me to logically understand these ideas at a molecular level and has improved my manipulative skills. The applicant needs to explain what they mean by manipulative skills here, as it seems very vague. Again, they need to relate their subjects back to optometry. I enjoy using resources such as the internet to obtain background knowledge on scientific news as well as news about the current economy. This sentence seems rather irrelevant to the topic and should only be kept in if the applicant makes it relevant to optometry or the subjects they're studying. Economics is a subject that can be adapted and be useful to any situation The applicant needs to explain its relation to optometry, if they can think of one – if they can't, then saying it can be adapted and useful to any situation would not be true , understanding how markets are run and how formulae can be used to be able to make analytical judgements from. I have also obtained an AS level in ICT, this was very enjoyable and I obtained a lot from it, some of the knowledge I obtained in ICT is adaptable in any situation and especially in recent times where there has been an upsurge in the applications and usage of information systems . (full stop) Again, since the applicant is claiming that ICT is adaptable in any situation, they need to relate it to optometry.

I would like to become an optometrist and in order to meet this aspiration of mine I want to complete a degree in optometry. The applicant needs to talk about exactly why they want to become an optometrist rather than just stating this, as it is a very simplistic sentence which tells you nothing about the applicant. Research and discussions with university students and pre-registration students have enabled me to reach a fully informed decision on demands and expectations to be an optometrist. The applicant needs to explain exactly what the demands and expectations are in this case. I am confident that I have the necessary skills, attributes and commitment to complete this demanding course. The applicant needs to talk about what the necessary skills and attributes are and why they are important for optometry. The course involves a career prospect which will allow me to build further upon my interests what interests? in detailed optical work, I feel that improving patients' quality of life by helping them in correcting their vision will bring me a lot of job satisfaction . (full stop) This paragraph is the only place where the applicant has actually talked about optometry and hasn't actually showed any understanding of what optometry is or even what an optometrist is. As unfair as that may sound, it is a vital part of any healthcare statement and ideally, the applicant should have completed some work experience in the area in order to learn more about what the job involves and the sorts of skills which are necessary for it. Also, the only reason they seem to have given for wanting to do this course is job satisfaction, something that can be gained from a huge number of jobs, not only optometry or even healthcare in general. The applicant should go into a reasonable amount of depth about why they want to be an optometrist.

I enjoy participating in work in my community, full stop I have helped organise annual fairs within my community as well as raising money for it and other charities by participating in activities such as charity walks, swim-a-thons and a five mile run full stop ; which was especially rewarding for me as I achieved thirty third position out of several thousand. While the applicant is obviously happy about this achievement, it doesn't really add to the personal statement at all and should only be included if they applicant has included everything else they need to and still have space. I enjoy participating in charity events as I find it gratifying to see a large group of people participating in an activity to raise money for the same objective. This sentence seems to be rather irrelevant – again, it adds nothing to the personal statement and just isn't necessary. Instead, the applicant could benefit from talking about what they learned through their community and charity work. Whether they've gained any skills which might be useful for optometry etc. I currently have a part time job at a community run Saturday school. I began as a volunteer where by my duties involved carrying out administrative work as well as being an English and Mathematics support teacher. This meant that I would work alongside a teacher to help students in reaching their full potential. I participated in this 3 three (numbers should be written out in full) hours a week. I developed several skills including administrative and organisational skills. This group of sentences are a bit stilted and don't flow at all well. The applicant needs to talk about what their role was as a support teacher in particular as well as expanding on the skills they developed – their importance for optometry. This job has been very fulfilling comma seeing the difference made when knowledge is passed on from one person to another. I feel that I am lucky to be a part of the flowing creativity and the general enthusiasm that this school thrives on? . This sentence again doesn't completely make sense, and while you get an idea of the applicants enjoyment for the role, this adds little to the overall impression that admissions tutors will gain from reading the statement. I enjoy this as I have the opportunity to work with public. This seems slightly repetitive and unnecessary, however, if the applicant were to talk about why they like working with the public, they could link back to optometry here. A future goal of mine is to run my own ophthalmic practice, this will combine both interests of being able to work with the public and the interest of the optometry course and this inevitably will form a perfect career for me . (full stop) Talking about future goals would work a lot better in the introduction, and referring to an 'ophthalmic practise' is not the best way to convince someone reading the statement that the applicant understands what an optometrist is. The applicant talks about a 'perfect career' here, which would be fine provided they'd explained why somewhere else in the statement!

I enjoy playing sport and keeping active, a semi-colon might work better here every week I attend a community run sports club where I play sports including indoor football, table tennis and badminton which is a favourite sport of mine . I also participate in tournaments with against different teams in these sports. As I enjoy playing sport I decided further my knowledge by taking part in a Junior Sports Leadership Award, this enabled me to increase my communicative skills, sporting skills and refereeing skills . (full stop) Talking about what you do in your spare time is important in personal statements, however, the applicant would benefit from expanding on the junior leadership award here rather than just listing what they do. They have also given a list of skills at the end of the paragraph, without explaining any of them and why they are relevant for optometry. For one thing, I doubt refereeing skills will be of any use as an optometrist! I also think that the term 'communicative skills' could be expanded on in particular. In my opinion it is quite a vague term, and needs explaining and relating to optometry - why optometrists need to be good communicators.

I am a conscientious student and am determined to achieve the best that I can in order to succeed as a student as well as a person. I look forward to the challenges and range of experiences that await me in higher education and university life. These two sentences are very generic as PS conclusions go and some added personality would help here. I know that the course will be demanding how? but I know that I can achieve my predicted grades as long as I put in maximum effort; I accept that one has the ability to prosper in life as long as good effort is sustained. As a conclusion, this is rather lacking. I think that the conclusion is one of the hardest sections of the statement to get right, and in this case, the applicant should have at least made some reference to optometry again.

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