Mature Student Personal Statement Examples
What is a mature student personal statement.
As a mature student, you should know what you want to do with your life. You should also be aware of the advantages and disadvantages of different careers.
I am motivated by my love for learning and a desire to contribute to society. My interests include mathematics, physics, chemistry, biology, astronomy, computer science, and many more.
I want to learn about everything and share what I know. I’m interested in studying abroad and travelling around the world. I’d like to work as a teacher after graduation and help others develop their skills.
I enjoy reading books and watching movies. I also enjoy playing sports and games. I hope to become a doctor when I grow up.
Mature Students: Five Things To Include In Your Personal Statement
The main difference for more mature students is the challenge of fitting in a relatively small space a larger amount of life history than an average student.
However, what we’re looking for is basically the same thing: evidence of your interest, understanding and enthusiasm for the chosen field.
How Do I Write A Mature Student Personal Statement?
We suggest you begin by writing down any notes about your skills, experience, hobbies, or extracurricular activities.
Then write down your strengths and ambitions for the next stage of your career. Remember to keep things simple and focussed.
Personal statements should be written in an organized manner.
- You should start by explaining what motivated you to become interested in your chosen field.
- Then you may explain how your interests align with the requirements of the program you are applying to.
- Finally, you should describe any relevant experience you have had in the past.
Start drafting your statement early and giving yourself plenty of time to revise and improve your statement, and proofread your statement for spelling and grammar.
- Be sure to go through three or four times before you can have the final, polished draft.
- When you’re happy with it make sure you check it again for spelling and grammar (you should use spell checker for this).
- Then paste it into your UCAS application form, ready to submit!
Mature Student Personal Statement
I am changing my career path because I want to be a doctor. I want to become a surgeon. I want to work with people who are sick and dying. I want to save lives. I want to make a difference.
Show Evidence Of Recent Study Even If It’s In A Non- Relevant Field.
Any evidence of formal study helps to show the admissions tutor that you enjoy studying, that you’re capable of studying,and that you’re ready to rejoin academia.
Whether it’s night school, Access to HE course, or any other kind of training, make sure to reflect upon it in your statement. Showing your personal progress is also very important.
For those who are going back to university after working experience, it’s important to demonstrate how you’ve progressed since then.
This could be done, for instance, by mentioning your work experiences, training courses, interests, and hobbies, or your reading.
The primary goal of most mature applicants is to train themselves for a new career. Whatever career area you have in your mind, show awareness of the specific challenges, and that have researched this before applying.
I am mature enough to understand the time commitment of studying a full- or partial-time degree.
I also want to achieve my goals, even though it means sacrificing some things in life. I write passionately about how much I want to achieve my goals.
It can also be addressed head-on, simply by demonstrating your attention to the pressures and commitment needed and your readiness and ability to see the degree through.
Keep Your Statement Story Truthful – And Personal.
There might well be less tangible reasons for you to apply to university as a mature student than simply training for a different career.
What Is A Personal Statement
Before we get to the points to cover in your personal statements as a mature student, let’s actually see what a Personal Statement is.
The easiest way to think about it is “Cover Letter” style, just as you would write it when applying for a job. You are trying to sell yourself by using your personal statement. It needs to be convincing and clear.
Some courses have really limited intake numbers, so your personal statement plays a massive role in the students’ selection process.
Remember that, on the other hand, there is someone reading it and trying to assess if you are a good candidate.
In terms of length, the UCAS guidelines indicate that the limit is 4000 characters and 47 lines, but I bet it sounds confusing because it does. It surprises me that we are in the year 2022 and they still do not provide a downloadable template that prohibits you from writing beyond the limit.
Write in a concise and simple style. Be enthusiastic without exaggeration.
What Should I Include In My Mature Student Personal Statement?
Any hobbies or other activities you may be involved in should always be linked to the degree programme. If you do not feel something is relevant, do not mention it.
Remember, you only have a limited amount of space in your personal statement, so every word must earn its place.
I am planning to study Business Management after I graduate. I want to work for a company that provides services to customers.
My target career is to become an accountant. I want to achieve my goal because I believe that I can do it well.
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Personal Statement Help for Mature Students Applying to University
Do you know that there is a specialised personal statement help for mature students applying to University? Returning to education as a mature student is a commendable and exciting journey.
Crafting a compelling personal statement can feel daunting, especially when balancing life and career experiences with academic aspirations. This is where personal statement help for mature students applying to university becomes invaluable.
Your personal statement should effectively convey why you’re ready for this new chapter, no matter your background.
It’s your opportunity to showcase your qualifications and unique life experiences that make you a perfect fit for the course and university of your choice.
Mature students often bring a wealth of knowledge, skills, and perspectives that younger students might not yet possess. However, articulating this in a personal statement requires careful thought and strategy.
This guide offers tailored advice to help you highlight your strengths, address potential weaknesses, and ultimately create a personal statement that stands out.
Personal statement help for mature students applying to university is about understanding your unique position and leveraging your experiences to present a compelling case for your admission.
Why Your Personal Statement Matters
Your personal statement is more than just a formality; it’s a critical part of your university application. It is the platform for mature students to explain their journey, what has led them to this point, and why they’re now pursuing higher education.
Admissions tutors are not just looking for academic potential but also for individuals who bring a rich tapestry of experiences and insights. This is why personal statement help for mature students applying to university is so essential.
A well-crafted personal statement can bridge the gap between your past experiences and your future aspirations, showcasing how your life and career have prepared you for the challenges of university study.
Your personal statement can be the deciding factor in a competitive application process. For mature students, it’s an opportunity to turn life lessons, professional skills, and personal growth into a narrative that resonates with the admissions committee.
Your statement should reflect your readiness for academic work and your enthusiasm and motivation to contribute to the university community.
This is why understanding the importance of personal statements helps mature students. Applying to university can significantly enhance their chances of success.
How to Highlight Life and Career Experience in Your Personal Statement
As a mature student, your life and career experiences are your unique strengths. Here’s how to effectively highlight them in your personal statement:
- Draw Parallels Between Work and Study: Show how skills acquired through your career—such as time management, problem-solving, and leadership—are transferable to an academic environment. For example, if you’ve led projects at work, explain how this experience will help you manage coursework and group assignments.
- Emphasise Personal Growth: Discuss how your experiences outside of formal education have shaped your character and prepared you for university. Whether it’s overcoming challenges, balancing responsibilities, or learning new skills, these experiences demonstrate resilience and maturity—qualities highly valued by universities.
- Showcase Relevant Professional Achievements: Highlight any achievements in your career that align with the course you’re applying for. This could include certifications, training programs, or notable projects demonstrating your commitment and expertise in the field.
- Discuss Volunteering or Extracurricular Activities: If you’ve been involved in community service, hobbies, or other activities outside of work, mention how these have contributed to your personal development and readiness for university life.
By focusing on these aspects, you’ll ensure your personal statement stands out, clearly illustrating why your life and career experiences make you an ideal candidate for the course and university.
Key Elements of a Mature Student’s Personal Statement
Crafting a personal statement as a mature student involves emphasising elements that reflect your unique journey. Here are the key components you should focus on:
- Motivation for Returning to Education: Clearly articulate why you’ve decided to pursue higher education at this stage. Your motivation should be compelling and well-explained. Admissions committees appreciate mature students who demonstrate a clear sense of purpose and direction.
- Relevant Life and Career Experience: As highlighted earlier, your professional and personal experiences are significant assets. Remember to integrate them throughout your statement, illustrating how they’ve prepared you for academic challenges. Your background should align with the course and enrich your contributions to the classroom.
- Academic Readiness and Skills: Address any formal or informal learning you’ve undertaken, mainly if it’s relevant to the course. Highlight how these experiences have equipped you with the skills necessary for university study, such as critical thinking, research abilities, and effective communication. If you’ve completed any preparatory courses, workshops, or online learning, mention these to demonstrate your commitment and readiness.
- Future Career Goals: Outline your career aspirations and how the course will help you achieve them. This shows that you’ve thought ahead and have a clear plan for how your education will fit into your broader life goals. Aligning your personal and professional future with the course underscores your dedication and strategic thinking.
By ensuring these elements are well-represented, your personal statement will provide a comprehensive view of who you are as a mature student, making a compelling case for your acceptance into the university.
How to Effectively Address Gaps in Your Education or Career
Gaps in education or career are common for mature students, and addressing them effectively in your personal statement is crucial. Rather than seeing these gaps as liabilities, view them as opportunities to showcase your resilience and adaptability.
Personal statement help for mature students applying to university often involves reframing these periods positively. For example, if you took time off to care for a family member, explain how this experience developed your time management, empathy, and problem-solving skills.
If you travelled or engaged in self-directed learning during a gap, highlight how these experiences broadened your perspective and enhanced the skills relevant to your chosen course.
When discussing gaps, it’s important to be honest while focusing on the positive outcomes. Admissions committees value applicants who can demonstrate growth and learn from all experiences.
Emphasise what you learned and how it prepared you for university life, and mention any challenges faced.
This approach addresses potential concerns and strengthens your application by presenting you as a well-rounded, self-aware candidate ready to take on the rigours of academic study.
Strategies for Turning Potential Weaknesses into Strengths
Every applicant has areas they might consider weaknesses, but these can often be reframed as strengths for mature students. Here are strategies to help you turn potential weaknesses into advantages in your personal statement:
- Reframe Gaps as Growth Opportunities: Instead of acknowledging gaps in your education or career, explain how these periods contributed to your personal development. Discuss the skills and insights gained during these times, such as resilience, adaptability, or new perspectives that make you a stronger candidate.
- Highlight Non-Traditional Learning: If your academic background is unconventional or you’ve been out of formal education for some time, focus on the learning and skills you’ve acquired through other means. This could include professional training, online courses, self-directed study, or even life experiences that have equipped you with valuable knowledge.
- Emphasise Maturity and Life Experience: Emphasise your maturity, responsibility, and real-world experience to offset any perceived lack of recent academic experience. Use examples from your career or personal life demonstrating your ability to handle challenges, manage time effectively, and approach problems with a seasoned perspective.
- Turn Career Changes into Strategic Moves: If you’ve switched careers or had a varied work history, frame these changes as strategic decisions that reflect your evolving interests and goals. Show how each step in your career has brought you closer to your current academic aspirations, making your choice to return to education a natural progression.
Using these strategies, you can transform areas that might initially seem like weaknesses into compelling strengths that enhance your personal statement.
How to Align Your Career Goals with the Course and University
Aligning your career goals with the course and university is essential for demonstrating that you’ve carefully chosen your academic path. Here’s how you can effectively showcase this alignment in your personal statement:
- Research the Course Content: Begin by thoroughly understanding the course curriculum and structure. Highlight specific modules, projects, or opportunities directly related to your career goals. Explain how these elements will provide the knowledge and skills necessary for your future career and demonstrate that this course is essential for achieving your professional goals.
- Connect with University Values: Research the university’s ethos, mission, and values. Show how these align with your personal values and career goals. If the university focuses on innovation and social impact, and your career goals align with making a difference in your field, emphasise that connection.
- Discuss Long-Term Career Aspirations: Outline your long-term career goals and explain how the course will help you achieve them. Remember to be specific about the skills, knowledge, and experiences you expect to gain and how these will translate into your professional life. Clearly articulate how this course is integral to your career goals.
- Leverage Relevant Experience: Draw on your past experiences to show how they’ve prepared you for the course. Please demonstrate how your background has given you a solid foundation for this course. This reinforces the idea that your decision to pursue this course is both informed and strategic.
By aligning your career goals with the course and university, you present yourself as a focused and purposeful candidate, ready to make the most of your academic journey.
Also Read: Where Do You See Yourself in 10 Years: Mapping Your Future?
Tips for Writing a Clear and Confident Personal Statement
Crafting a personal statement that is both clear and confident is key to making a solid impression. Here are some tips to help you achieve that:
- Start with a Strong Opening: A compelling introduction captures the reader’s attention. Your opening should set the tone for the rest of the statement. A strong start can make your personal statement memorable and engaging.
- Be Concise and Focused: Avoid unnecessary jargon or overly complex language. Focus on conveying your message clearly and directly. Each sentence should serve a purpose: providing information about your experiences, highlighting your strengths, or explaining your motivations. Keeping your writing concise helps maintain the reader’s attention and makes your statement more impactful.
- Use Active Voice: Writing in an active voice makes your statement more dynamic and assertive. Instead of saying, “I was allowed to lead a project,” say, “I led a project.” This subtle shift in phrasing can make you sound more confident and capable.
- Show, Don’t Just Tell: Instead of simply stating your qualities, provide specific examples that demonstrate them. For instance, rather than saying, “I am a good leader,” describe a situation where your leadership skills made a difference. This approach adds credibility to your claims and gives the admissions committee a clearer picture of your abilities.
- Edit and Revise Thoroughly: Don’t rush the editing process. Take the time to revise your personal statement multiple times, checking for clarity, coherence, and grammar. It’s also helpful to have someone else review it to catch any mistakes or areas that need improvement. A well-polished statement reflects your attention to detail and commitment to presenting your best self.
By following these tips, you can create a persuasive personal statement.
Also Read: How to Write a Winning Personal Statement for University
How to Overcome Common Personal Statement Challenges for Mature Students
Writing a personal statement as a mature student comes with its challenges, but these can be managed with the right approach. Here’s how to tackle some of the most common issues:
- Addressing Concerns About Academic Readiness: Admissions committees may wonder if you’re prepared for the rigours of academic study after time away from formal education. To counter this, highlight any recent learning experiences demonstrating your academic preparedness, such as courses, workshops, or self-directed study.
- Balancing Professional Experience with Academic Aspirations: It can be challenging to balance the wealth of your professional experience with the academic focus of your personal statement. Connect your career achievements to the skills and knowledge needed for the course you’re applying to.
- Managing Limited Space: With a lot to say and limited space, deciding what to include can be difficult. Prioritise the most relevant experiences and skills that directly support your application. Avoid unnecessary details that don’t add value to your narrative.
- Conveying Confidence Without Arrogance: Confidence in your abilities and experiences is important without seeming arrogant. Use a balanced tone showcasing achievements and strengths while also acknowledging areas for learning and growth. This humility, combined with confidence, creates a well-rounded and appealing persona.
- Overcoming Age-Related Biases: You might be concerned about biases related to your age. Counter this by focusing on your life experience’s advantages, such as maturity, resilience, and a strong sense of purpose. Present these traits as valuable assets that will enhance both your academic performance and the contributions you’ll make to the university community.
Also Read: How to Address Employment Gaps on Your CV After Maternity
Examples of Effective Personal Statements for Mature Students
Examining examples of effective personal statements can provide valuable insights into how to craft your own. Here are some types of examples to consider:
- Career Change Stories: Look for statements from mature students who have successfully transitioned from one career to another. These examples often highlight how previous professional experiences have provided a strong foundation for their new academic pursuits. They typically focus on the skills acquired and their relevance to the new field.
- Overcoming Adversity: Personal statements that address overcoming significant personal or professional challenges can be particularly inspiring. These examples detail how the students overcame obstacles and how these experiences prepared them for university life. They often emphasise resilience, problem-solving abilities, and personal growth.
- Passion Projects: Statements featuring passion projects or significant extracurricular involvement showcase how students’ interests and activities align with their academic goals. Examples often show a strong commitment to the field and showcase students’ pursuit of interests outside formal education.
- Academic Preparation: Effective personal statements also include examples of mature students engaging in preparatory work or self-directed learning for university. These might include online courses, workshops, or relevant reading that have enhanced their readiness and enthusiasm for their chosen course.
Reviewing these examples can help you present your experiences and aspirations to highlight your strengths and align with your academic goals.
Crafting a standout personal statement as a mature student requires a thoughtful approach highlighting your unique experiences and aspirations. Craft a compelling narrative by focusing on your career goals, life experiences, and academic readiness.
Remember, your personal statement is your opportunity to showcase not only your qualifications but also your enthusiasm and readiness for the challenges of university study.
With careful preparation and a clear, confident presentation, you can make a strong case for why you’re the ideal candidate for your chosen program.
For personalised assistance in crafting your personal statement, consider Rky Careers’ expert services . Our team specialises in assisting mature students with creating impactful statements that reflect their unique journey and align with their academic and career aspirations.
“We offer tailored support to ensure your personal statement stands out.”
Contact us today to learn how we can assist you in making a powerful impression on admissions committees and achieving your university goals.
Also Read: Best Personal Statement Review Services
Frequently Asked Questions About Writing a Personal Statement for Mature Students
How do i explain a long gap in my education or career in my personal statement.
Acknowledge the gap briefly, then highlight any skills or experiences gained during that time, such as work, volunteering, or self-learning. Emphasise how these experiences have prepared you for university, showcasing resilience and readiness for academic challenges.
What should I focus on if my previous experience isn’t directly related to the course I’m applying for?
Focus on transferable skills like problem-solving, leadership, and communication. Connect your past experiences to the course to show how they enhance your studies.
How can I convey my readiness for university after being out of formal education for a while?
Highlight any recent coursework, professional development, or self-directed learning. Emphasise life skills like time management and resilience and discuss how they have prepared you for university study.
What’s the best way to start a personal statement to grab the reader’s attention?
Start with an engaging anecdote, a brief story, or a bold statement that reflects your passion for the course. Make it memorable and relevant to set the stage for the rest of your statement.
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How To Write A Personal Statement For Masters (17 PDF Sample Examples)
Published: 14 Mar 2022 Study Abroad 113,164 views
A personal statement for masters program is one of the most important parts of your college application and writing a good one is what’s the exception between receiving an offer and being rejected.
If you’ve been tasked with presenting a personal statement, you should keep in mind that whatever you submit must put you forward as the right candidate for the course. Additionally, it should convince the admissions officers that you deserve a place on your program of study.
Achieving the above, is a skill most postgraduate students are yet to acquire but thankfully this article on How To Write A Personal Statement For Masters covers everything you need to know on doing this.
In this article you’ll learn:
- What is a personal statement?
- Tips for making your personal statement for masters stand out
- How to write a personal statement for masters
- Personal statement for masters sample
- Examples of personal statement for masters
- Conclusion – things to avoid when writing a personal statement for masters
Read: Admission Interview Tips .
What Is a Personal Statement?
A personal statement AKA admissions or application essay or statement of purpose is a type of essay or written statement a candidate presents to a college, university, or graduate school they are applying to, explaining why they want to attend that school, study a particular course, and why they would be a perfect fit for these things.
A personal statement for masters is an essay you submit specifically for your postgraduate application. Writing one presents the opportunity for you to promote yourself to a school and show the admissions teachers that you are the perfect candidate for a course.
Tips For Making Your Personal Statement For Masters Stand Out
Before we get into how you should write a statement of purpose for masters, we would first like to share with you certain tips to include in your essay to make it stand out from that of other applicants and be convincing enough to any admissions officer that reads it. The tips we have mentioned here, cover general things like starting and ending your personal statement, timing, length, and what to include and what not to include in the essay, etc.
1. Starting And Ending A Personal Statement
When starting a personal statement, you would want to right off the bat grab the reader’s attention. To do this, start the statement by writing about your degree of choice, next why you want to study it and then how you got interested in it.
The next 2 sentences after that should cover a summary of your background in the chosen field, and you conclude by saying what you plan to do once you acquire your graduate degree.
Also start with that the evaluators reading want to hear first, then every other information should come second. You will notice we’ve used in the sop examples for masters we will share with you later in this article.
2. Plan Ahead
A personal statement is not something you rush while writing, which means if you want to get something good before you application then you must start to decide things like the length and how long it should take to complete.
Let us throw more light on this…
For length, a personal statement should be brief ranging somewhere between 500 -700 words, although schools often detect how long it should be. So, this is dependent on the institution you are applying to.
In terms of what to say in a statement, you could include personal experiences like why you were driven to apply for the program, an experience you had with a scholar in your chosen discipline, a course you took that inspired you to pursue masters, or a key moment during your studies which further motivated you.
No matter what you decide to write, just keep in mind that you need to take your time to craft something good even if it means creating several drafts before the real thing and do not forget to proofread the statement for errors.
3. Research Your Program Of Study
Researching your program of study is one way to establish that you truly understand the discipline you’re getting into and prove to the admissions officer that you thoroughly thought about it before applying.
And because you want to put yourself forward as a serious candidate, one way to make you research easier is for you to visit the website of the department you are applying to. This page will contain information about faculty members, their specialisation, and publications.
From the intel, you gathered there you can now identify which professors match your interests and which ones you will benefit the most from learning under. After you’ve found this out, relate the same in a sentence or two in your statement of purpose for masters.
Example: “I would be honoured to study under the tutelage of Professor Nadia whose work I found resonated strongly with my beliefs and intended projects in this course”.
4. Avoid Clichés, Junks, And Many Details
When writing a statement of purpose for master degree try to avoid clichés, junks, and unnecessary details so that you don’t lose or bore your readers in between. Be as concise as possible, even if it’s your chance to express yourself.
A personal statement is an opportunity for the admissions committee to get information that tells the that you are suitable for the course. So, when you overpower your statement with too many words, stories, and useless details, you come off as someone who is just trying to meet the word count.
5. Include Your Personal History Only If It Adds To The Statement
Do not include your personal history in your statement of intent for masters if it is not relevant to your purpose of study. This means no need for you to tell that story about that time you helped someone treat a cut and immediately realised that you wanted to be a doctor or nurse or how you developed a taste for reading at a very young age.
We can guarantee you that the hundreds of other applications competing for the same spot you are felt the same way, so saying those things really doesn’t make you unique.
On the other hand, if you are going to add personal history to your statement, you can put in things like an internship you did and the experience you got from the job, a major research project you ran by yourself, publications you’ve read or published, conferences you’ve attended or presentations you’ve done. These experiences are more concrete and are directly related to your program of study. They also set you apart from other applicants.
6. Don't Use The Same Personal Statement For All Your Applications
One common mistake applicant make that you shouldn’t is using the same statement of purpose for master degree for all your applications. Using the same information repeatedly even if you are going to change the university names is risky and could land you in a big mistake on a day you forget to be thorough.
All programmes have their own unique set of questions they want to see answered and information they need in your personal statement.
And even if some of them like extracurricular activities, proposal for project, why you are applying to the school, your unique qualities, and research works you’re doing might appear the same, do not use one statement to respond to all of them.
Write a new unique personal statement every time you want to apply.
Check out: How to Write a Good CV for Students - Resume Examples for Students (PDF).
How To Write A Personal Statement for Masters
When writing a personal statement for masters there are several steps and ground rules you need to follow to ensure that it comes out good enough to impress the admissions team of a school, and ultimately convince them to give you a spot on your program of study.
If writing one is something you are currently struggling with and can’t seem to get down the process of it right no matter what, this section on how to write a personal statement for masters, discusses in detail everything you need to get help with yours.
There are 4 parts to consider when writing your personal statement and we have listed them below:
1. Planning A Personal Statement
A personal statement is a piece of writing showing your academic interests and is only for application purposes which means there is no room for any autobiographical information in it about your personal life. Be as to-the-point as possible when writing it and stick to telling the school why you are the right person for the course, plus any other extra information detailing your achievements.
Before You Start:
Allot plenty of time to write your msc personal statement so that you don’t rush it. Remember, this simple piece of writing is your one shot at convincing a school that you are the best applicant they’ve seen and as such can either make or break your application.
Read the information expected of you from the university, rules and guidelines given, selection criteria and understand what they mean. Also research the institution.
Do a thorough research on the course you are applying for; this will help you explain better why you want to study it. The tutors interviewing you can tell when you are lying and presenting yourself as uninformed can cost you the admission.
Ensure that you don’t use the same personal statement for all your applications.
When Writing:
When writing the statement there are some questions to ask yourself that can help you plan it better. Those questions are:
- Why you want to study a master’s and how does it benefit you in future?
- How does the course you have chosen fit into your pre-existing skill set?
- How do you stand out from the crowd as an applicant - e.g., work experiences you’ve had in the same field you are applying for?
- What do you aspire to do or be as a future career and how will the course help you achieve that?
- How can your work or skillsets contribute positively to the department/ university you are applying to, or society at large?
On the other hand, if you are applying for the masters to change from the field you studied in your undergraduate to another field, you should tell the school why you decided to take a different path in your studies.
Questions to ask yourself for this include:
- Your reason for deciding to change your discipline.
- How your undergraduate degree will be material for bringing fresh insights into your masters course.
- How changing your study path will help you attain your future career.
2. Structuring A Personal Statement
Having good structure for your personal statement for master degree is important because it ensures that everything from the beginning, middle, and ending of the statement is written and equally falls in place perfectly.
We’ve left some tips for you below to help you:
Start your personal statement with an attention-grabbing introduction that is not dramatic or cliché. That means you should not begin with any of these over-used phrases we’ve listed out below:
For as long as I remember…
Since my childhood…
I want to apply to this course because I’ve always felt a strong connection to it…
All my life, I have always loved…
My interest in (course) always ran deeper than…
I’ve always been zealous about…
Ever since I was a child, I’ve always wanted to pursue a career in…
My past educational experiences have always…
You would want to be as snappy as possible with your opening because the admission officer has over a hundred applications to read and can’t waste all their time on yours. This means you should avoid overpowering it with unnecessary facts, quotes, and stories from your life.
The middle part of your ma personal statement is where the main content of the write-up should be. This is where you show your dedication to the course you’ve chosen, what motivated you to choose it, and why you are the right candidate for it.
When writing the middle part of a graduate personal statement, you should:
- Give concrete reasons why you want to study a course at the University. The reason could be because of how the course is aligned to your future career or the University’s reputation in teaching that program.
- Mention relevant things like projects, dissertations, or essays you’ve done, and any work experience you have.
- Show proof of your core skills like and how they can contribute to the department.
- Prove what makes you a unique candidate.
- Discuss who your main influences for wanting to study the course are and why.
- Add experiences like memberships to clubs that are related to your field, papers you’ve written before, awards, scholarships, or prizes.
- Draw focus to how the course links to your past and future.
- Mention your academic and non-academic skills and how they fit the course.
For Formatting:
- Keep the statement length between 250 -500 words or as directed by the school.
- Sentences should be no more than 25-30 words.
- Use headings to break up the content – Why this university? Why this subject? Etc.
- Make claims and provide evidence to back each of them up. This can be done by discussing your work experience and academic interests.
Language and tone to use:
- The tone for your masters application personal statement should be positive and enthusiastic, to show you eagerness to learn and so that you convince the evaluators that you have what it takes to succeed.
- Use exciting and refreshing language, and an engaging opening line.
- Ensure you grammar, punctuations, and spellings are accurate.
- Avoid exaggerated claims you cannot backup.
- Don’t use cliché generic terms and keep your focus on the course.
Keep the ending of your essay for master degree application concise and memorable, leaving no doubt in the admission officers mind that you deserve a spot on the program.
To create the best ending summarise all your key points without dragging it our or repeating yourself. The ending should be simple, end on a positive note and make it clear that the school will be lucky to have you on their program.
Personal Statement for Masters Sample
In this section, we have left a masters personal statement example for you, which you can use as material to write yours for any course of study you are applying to a school for.
Personal Statement PDF
You can also download this statement of purpose sample for masters degree pdf here and take your time to read it later – Personal Statement For Masters Sample .
See Also: Student CV Template .
Examples of Personal Statement for Masters
We have taken the time to source for some of the best postgraduate personal statement examples, which you can use in addition to the personal statement for masters program example as a template to write yours.
While you scroll through our list, you will find the perfect masters essay example for any field you wish to apply for, from business administration, to Psychology, to information technology, and lots more.
1. msw personal statement
We have found one of the best msw personal statement examples out there for you.
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2. personal statement for masters in public health
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3. personal statement for masters in management
Personal statement for master degree sample for masters in management . , 4. personal statement for masters in education example.
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6. sample personal statement for masters in data science data science masters personal statement
7. speech and language therapy personal statement statement of purpose for masters sample: speech and language therapy
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12. international development personal statement statement of purpose for masters example
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15. personal statement for masters in economics statement of purpose sample for masters degree in economics
16. mha personal statement statement of purpose format for masters in health administration
Conclusion – Things to Avoid When Writing A Personal Statement For Masters When writing a personal statement for university masters, there are some things you should avoid, so that you don’t ruin your essay. We have listed out those things below: • Avoid negativity. • Following an online template blindly. • Do not include unnecessary course modules, personal facts, or extra-curricular activities in your personal statement. • Do not lie or exaggerate an achievement or event. • Do not include inspirational quotes to your statement. • Avoid using clichés, gimmicks, humour, over-used word such as 'passion' or ‘driven’. • Do not make pleading statements. • Avoid mentioning key authors or professors in your field without any explanation. • Avoid using sentences that are too long. • Avoid flattering the organisation or using patronising terms. • Do not repeat information in your statement that you have already listed in your application. • Avoid waffling i.e., writing at length. • Don’t start writing your personal statement at the last minute.
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How to write a personal statement
How to approach writing your personal statement for graduate applications.
If you’re applying for a grad course that requires a personal statement (sometimes also called a ‘statement of purpose’), it can be difficult to know where to start and what to include. Read on for tips from some of our masters’ students about their process and what they found helpful.
1. Before you start
The academic work is the most important reason why we’re here, but that also translates into work experiences, internships, volunteering. I think a big part of the personal statement is crafting that narrative of academic self that fits alongside your professional experiences, to give that greater picture of who you are as an academic. Lauren (MSc Modern Middle Eastern Studies)
Start by thinking about the skills, knowledge and interests you’ve acquired over time and how the course at Oxford will take them forward.
Your statement is the story you want to tell about yourself and your academic work to the department you are applying to.
Most of your application and its supporting documents communicate plain facts about your academic career so far. Your personal statement is your best opportunity to put these facts into context and show assessors how you’ve progressed and excelled.
Make sure you highlight evidence of your achievements (a high grade in a relevant area, an award or scholarship, a research internship).
Presenting yourself
When I was writing my personal statement, I went onto my course website. I looked at what they emphasised and what kind of students they were looking for, and I wrote about my experiences based on that. Kayla (MSc in Clinical Embryology)
Make it easy for an assessor to see how you meet the entry requirements for the course (you can find these on each course page ).
Don’t make any assumptions about what Oxford is looking for!
Get to know your department
You want to study this particular subject and you want to study at Oxford (you’re applying here, so we know that!) but why is Oxford the right place for you to study this subject? What interests or qualities of the academic department and its staff make it attractive to you?
Use your academic department’s website for an overview of their research, academic staff and course information (you'll find a link to the department's own website on each course page ).
I said, ‘why do I actually want to be here? What is it about being at Oxford that’s going to get me to what I want to do? Sarah (Bachelor of Civil Law)
Talk it out
Talking to others about your statement can be a great way to gather your ideas and decide how you’d like to approach it. Sarah even managed to get benefit out of this approach by herself:
“I spent a lot of time talking out loud. My written process was actually very vocal, so I did a lot of talking about myself in my room.”
2. The writing process
Know your format.
Make sure you’ve read all the guidance on the How to Apply section of your course page , so you know what’s needed in terms of the word count of the final statement, what it should cover and what it will be assessed for. This should help you to visualise roughly what you want to end up with at the end of the process.
Make a start
When it comes to writing your personal statement, just getting started can be the hardest part.
One good way to get around writer’s block is to just put it all down on the page, like Mayur.
First - write down anything and everything. In the first round, I was just dumping everything - whatever I’ve done, anything close to computer science, that was on my personal statement. Mayur (MSc Computer Science)
You’ll be editing later anyway so don’t let the blank page intimidate you - try writing a little under each of the following headings to get started:
- areas of the course at Oxford that are the most interesting to you
- which areas you’ve already studied or had some experience in
- what you hope to use your Oxford course experience for afterwards.
3. Finishing up
Get some feedback.
Once you’ve got a draft of about the right length, ask for feedback on what you’ve written. It might take several drafts to get it right.
This could involve getting in touch with some of your undergraduate professors to ask them to read your draft and find any areas which needed strengthening.
You could also show it to people who know you well, like family or friends.
Because they’re the first people to say, ‘Who is that person?’ You want the people around you to recognise that it really sounds like you. It can be scary telling family and friends you’re applying for Oxford, because it makes it real, but be brave enough to share it and get feedback on it. Sarah (Bachelor of Law)
Be yourself
Finally - be genuine and be yourself. Make sure your personal statement represents you, not your idea about what Oxford might be looking for.
We have thousands of students arriving every year from a huge range of subjects, backgrounds, institutions and countries (you can hear from a few more of them in our My Oxford interviews).
Get moving on your application today
To find out more about supporting documents and everything else you need to apply, read your course page and visit our Application Guide .
- Application Guide: Statement of purpose
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Personal statements for postgraduate applications
Your Masters personal statement is an essential part of your postgraduate application as it's this document that will convince admissions tutors that you're worthy of a place on a course. Discover how to write a Masters personal statement and take a look at some examples for inspiration
What is a personal statement?
A Masters personal statement is a piece of writing that you submit as part of your postgraduate application . It's your first real chance to sell yourself to the university and to demonstrate to admissions tutors that you're right for the course.
It's likely that you've already written a personal statement for your Bachelors degree , so this should give you some idea of what to expect. However, don't be tempted to use your undergraduate personal statement as a template. You will have progressed academically since then and admissions tutors will want to see evidence of this.
Your postgraduate personal statement should be unique and tailored to the course that you're applying to. Use the opportunity to show off your academic interests and abilities, and to demonstrate that the programme will benefit from your attendance as much as you'll benefit from studying it.
'Personal statements have a two-way function in the application process,' explains Steve Carruthers, head of postgraduate admissions and student visa compliance at the University of East Anglia (UEA). 'They are critical to demonstrating the student is right for the course, showing their experience, knowledge, background and personality, as well as their interest in the subject. They also enable the admissions team to ensure the selected course is the best fit for the student's aspirations and goals, or to make alternate recommendations to ensure all options have been equally considered.'
How long should a postgraduate personal statement be?
A Masters personal statement should be around 500 words. This equates to one side of A4. However, some universities require more, often two sides. Some institutions also set a character limit instead of a specific word count, so it's important that you check the application guidelines before starting to write your statement.
As they're relatively short, don't waste words on autobiographical information. This isn't necessary in postgraduate personal statements. Instead, focus on why you want to study a particular programme and your potential to successfully complete the course.
What should I include in a Masters personal statement?
'The statement is a snapshot of who you are and why you've chosen your course, so include everything that helps an academic or admissions team see that clearly,' advises Steve.
You should tailor your personal statement to fit the course you're applying for, so what to include will largely depend on the course requirements. However, in general you should write about:
- Your reasons for applying for a particular programme and why you deserve a place above other candidates - 'demonstrate your interest and passion for the course and subject. This tells admissions staff you're more likely to fully engage in your studies,' says Steve. Discuss your academic interests, career goals and the university and department's reputation, and write about which aspects of the course you find most appealing, for example particular modules or work experience opportunities. Show that you're ready for the demands of postgraduate life by demonstrating your knowledge and experience.
- Your preparation - address how undergraduate study has prepared you for a postgraduate course, mentioning your independent work (e.g. dissertation) and topics that most interested you.
- Evidence of your skillset - 'show your writing skills, intellect and ability to succeed academically, as well as the effect and impact you may have on the cohort as a leader, influencer, or enthusiastic team member,' adds Steve. Highlight relevant skills and knowledge that will enable you to make an impact on the department, summarising your abilities in core areas including IT, numeracy, organisation, communication, time management and critical thinking. You can also cover any grades, awards, work placements, extra readings or conferences that you've attended and how these have contributed to your readiness for Masters study.
- Your goals - 'Your long-term plans and aspirations are also important to cover, as they both help ensure you've selected the best course to achieve these, but also give the academic team an understanding of how they might best support you through your studies,' says Steve.
Address any weaknesses, such as lower-than-expected module performance in your undergraduate degree or gaps in your education history. The university will want to know about these, so explain them with a positive spin. Cover how these gaps and weaknesses have been addressed and what will be different in your postgraduate studies.
How should I structure my personal statement?
Your personal statement should follow a logical, methodical structure, where each paragraph follows on from the one before. Make sure paragraphs are short, succinct, clear and to the point. Remember, you only have 500 words so use them wisely.
Capture the reader's attention with an enthusiastic introduction covering why you want to study a particular Masters. Then, engage the reader in your middle paragraphs by summing up your academic and employment background, evidencing your knowledge and skills and demonstrating why the course is right for you.
Your conclusion should be concise, summarising why you're the ideal candidate. Overall, aim for five or six paragraphs. You can use headings to break up the text if you prefer.
The majority of postgraduate applications are submitted online directly to the university. If this is the case, present your personal statement in a standard font such as Arial, Calibri or Times New Roman, text size 11 or 12. If your course application is submitted through UKPASS (UCAS's postgraduate application service) font style won't matter, as personal statements are automatically formatted.
How can I write a good postgraduate personal statement?
- Give yourself plenty of time and don't rush . Your personal statement can make or break your application so it needs to be right. Tutors can tell if you're bluffing, and showing yourself up as uninformed could be costly. Before you start, read the rules and guidelines provided, check the selection criteria and research the course and institution.
- Use AI tools responsibly - 'Remember, this is a 'personal' statement, so make sure it's all about you,' stresses Steve. 'Using AI such as ChatGTP or Google Bard to generate a statement may be easier, but generalised statements that miss out you, your personality and experiences will never be as effective. Personal stories and experiences really bring your statement to life, and this is one of those times it's ok to talk boldly about all you've achieved, and your qualities.'
- Adopt a positive, enthusiastic and professional tone and write in clear, short sentences . Avoid elaborate or overly complicated phrases. Unless otherwise stated, all postgraduate personal statements should be written in English and your spelling, grammar and punctuation must be spot on, as the personal statement acts as a test of your written communication skills..
- Don't use the same supporting statement for every course . Admissions tutors can spot copy-and-paste jobs. Generic applications demonstrate that you have little understanding of the course. In order to stand out from the crowd, Masters personal statements must be unique and specific to the course and institution.
- Draft and redraft your statement until you're happy . Then ask a friend, family member or careers adviser to read it. Proofreading is incredibly important to avoid mistakes. Memorise what you've written before any interviews.
What do I need to avoid?
- follow online examples too closely, use them as a guide only
- use your undergraduate UCAS application as a template
- be negative
- lie or exaggerate
- use clichés, gimmicks, humour, over-used words such as 'passion' or Americanisms
- include inspirational quotes
- make pleading/begging statements
- needlessly flatter the organisation
- include irrelevant course modules, personal facts or extra-curricular activities
- use overly long sentences
- repeat information found elsewhere in your application
- leave writing your personal statement to the last minute.
How should I start my Masters personal statement?
Steve believes there is no right way to start a personal statement so try not to waste too much time coming up with a catchy opening. The more you try, the more contrived you'll sound and the more likely you are to fall into the trap of using clichés. 'A good rule of thumb is to make it interesting, personal (avoiding bland generalisms) and enthusiastic for your choice of study.’
'Your opening lines could include how your current interests (we're less interested in you as a six year old) have led you to apply for this course, and how you see it helping you achieve both your full potential and future aspirations,' says Steve.
Avoid using overused phrases, such as:
- For as long as I can remember…
- From a young age…
- I am applying for this course because…
- Throughout my life I have always enjoyed…
- I have always been interested in…
- I have always been passionate about…
- I have always wanted to pursue a career in…
- Reflecting on my educational experiences…
Admissions tutors read hundreds of applications per course so the opening paragraph of your personal statement needs to get straight to the point and make a real impact. Avoid overkill statements, gimmicks and popular quotes.
If you're really struggling, come back and tackle the opening once you have written the rest.
How should I end my personal statement?
Conclusions should be short, sharp and memorable, and leave no doubt in an admissions tutor's mind that you deserve a place on a course.
The perfect ending should pull all of your key points together without waffling or repeating yourself.
Like the rest of your Masters personal statement, keep the ending simple. Be succinct and make it clear why you'll be an asset to the university and end on a positive note, with a statement about why the institution would be lucky to have you as a student.
What are admissions tutors looking for?
'Passion for the subject, and an understanding of the key challenges and problems it's currently facing, as well as the research being undertaken to solve these or to move the field forwards, really endears you to the academics who you'll be interacting with,' explains Steve.
'Strong writing skills are a gift, so be clear and concise about what you want to say, and always get a second pair of eyes to check spelling and grammar as well as readability.'
Make sure you also provide:
- an explanation of how the course links your past and future
- an insight into your academic and non-academic abilities, and how they'll fit with the course
- evidence of your skills, commitment and enthusiasm
- knowledge of the institution's area of expertise
- reasons why you want to study at the institution.
Personal statement examples
The style and content of your postgraduate personal statement depends on several variables, such as the type of qualification that you're applying for - such as a Masters degree , a conversion course or teacher training . Here are some postgraduate personal statement templates to help you get started:
Business management personal statement
Postgraduate courses in business management are popular among graduates. To make your application stand out your personal statement needs to cover your motivations for choosing a specific course at a particular university, your career goals and how the Masters will help you achieve them. Be sure to mention relevant transferrable skills and work experience. Read up on management courses .
Computer science personal statement
If you'd like to complete a Masters but studied an unrelated subject at undergraduate level you'll need to explain why you'd like to change disciplines. In the case of computer science your personal statement will need to show that you possess the technical, mathematical and analytical skills necessary, as well as demonstrate your knowledge of the subject area. Gain an insight into the information technology sector .
Law personal statement
You'll apply for an LLM the same way you would for any other Masters, directly to the university. Whether you're undertaking a general LLM or a more specific programme, such as an LLM in human rights or international business law, you'll need to convey why you want to study the law in more depth and how this could potentially aid your career. Discover more about LLM degrees .
Nursing personal statement
If you didn't study the subject at undergraduate level but you'd like to apply for a postgraduate course in nursing your personal statement needs to convey your reasons for choosing this career path, as well as demonstrate a specific set of skills, knowledge of the working environment and relevant experience. Find out more about working as an adult or children's nurse .
Psychology personal statement
Applications for conversion courses such as these are fairly straightforward and made directly to individual institutions. You need to explain why you want to change subjects and how your current subject will help you. Explain what experience you have that will help with your conversion subject, and what you hope to do in the future. Learn more about psychology conversion courses .
Social work personal statement
If your Bachelors degree was in an unrelated subject but you now have ambitions to work as a social worker you'll need a Masters in social work (MSW) to qualify. Social work Masters have a substantial work placement element so you'll need to cover what you hope to achieve during this time as well as demonstrate other relevant experience. Find out more about social work courses .
PGCE primary personal statement
As well as detailing why you want to work with this particular age group, a PGCE primary personal statement should highlight the ways in which your educational background has inspired you to teach. You'll need to cover relevant skills you have gained and any related work experience, as well as demonstrate your knowledge of the primary national curriculum. Read up on PGCEs .
PGCE secondary personal statement
You'll need to cover why you want to teach at secondary level while also acknowledging the pressures and challenges of working with older pupils. As you'll be teaching a specific subject, you'll need to evidence your knowledge in this area and demonstrate how your first degree was relevant. It's also essential to highlight any related work or voluntary experience. Learn more about teaching personal statements .
Find out more
- Search postgraduate courses .
- Find out what else you must consider when applying for a Masters degree .
- Completed your application? Discover what postgraduate interview questions you may be asked.
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Writing Your Personal Statements
Your personal statement must demonstrate to the admissions committee that you have considered graduate school and their specific program seriously. It’s your opportunity to summarize your academic and research experiences. You must also communicate how your experiences are relevant to preparing you for the graduate degree that you will be pursuing and explain why a given program is the right one for you.
The personal statement is where you highlight your strengths. Make your strengths absolutely clear to the reviewers, because they will often be reading many other statements. Your self-assessments and honest conversations with peers and advisors should have also revealed your strengths. But you must also address (not blame others for) weaknesses or unusual aspects of your application or academic background.
Your personal statement should focus on two main aspects: your competence and commitment.
1. Identify your strengths in terms of competence that indicate that you will succeed in the grad program and provide examples to support your claims. Start your statement by describing your strengths immediately. Because faculty will be reading many statements, it’s important to start off with your strengths and not “bury your lede.” Consider traits of successful graduate students from your informational interviews, and identify which of these traits you have. These traits could involve research skills and experiences, expertise in working with techniques or instruments, familiarity with professional networks and resources in your field, etc.
- Check your responses from the exercises in the self-assessment section. You may wish to consult notes from your informational interviews and your Seven Stories . Write concise summaries and stories that demonstrate your strengths, e.g. how your strengths helped you to achieve certain goals or overcome obstacles.
- Summarize your research experience(s). What were the main project goals and the “big picture” questions? What was your role in this project? What did you accomplish? What did you learn, and how did you grow as a result of the experience(s)?
My research examines the interplay between U.S. domestic politics and foreign policy during the Cold War. As a native New Yorker, I saw firsthand how dramatically my city changed after 9/11, which prompted my early interest in U.S. policy at home and abroad. As an undergraduate at the City College of New York, I planned to study international relations with a focus on U.S. foreign affairs. I also quickly became involved in student activist groups that focused on raising awareness about a wide range of human rights issues, from the Syrian refugee crisis to asylum seekers from Central America.
The more I learned about the crises in the present, the more I realized that I needed a deeper understanding of the past to fully grasp them. I decided to pursue a PhD in history in order to gain a clearer understanding of human rights issues in the present and to empower young student-activists like myself.
— Vannessa Velez, PhD candidate in History
Addressing weaknesses or unusual aspects
- Identify weaknesses or unusual aspects in your application—e.g., a significant drop in your GPA during a term; weak GRE scores; changes in your academic trajectory, etc. Don’t ignore them, because ignoring them might be interpreted as blind spots for you. If you’re unsure if a particular issue is significant enough to address, seek advice from faculty mentors.
- Explain how you’ll improve and strengthen those areas or work around your weakness. Determine how you will address them in a positive light, e.g., by discussing how you overcame obstacles through persistence, what you learned from challenges, and how you grew from failures. Focusing on a growth mindset or grit and this blog on weaknesses might also help.
- Deal with any significant unusual aspects later in the statement to allow a positive impression to develop first.
- Explain, rather than provide excuses—i.e., address the issue directly and don’t blame others (even if you believe someone else is responsible). Draft it and get feedback from others to see if the explanation is working as you want it to.
- Provide supporting empirical evidence if possible. For example, “Adjusting to college was a major step for me, coming from a small high school and as a first-generation college student. My freshman GPA was not up to par with my typical achievements, as demonstrated by my improved GPA of 3.8 during my second and third years in college."
- Be concise (don’t dwell on the issues), but also be complete (don’t lead to other potentially unanswered questions). For example, if a drop in grades during a term was due to a health issue, explain whether the health issue is recurring, managed now with medication, resolved, etc.
2. Explain your commitment to research and their graduate program, including your motivation for why you are applying to this graduate program at this university. Be as specific as possible. Identify several faculty members with whom you are interested in working, and explain why their research interests you.
- Descriptions of your commitment should explain why you’re passionate about this particular academic field and provide demonstrations of your commitment with stories (e.g., working long hours to solve a problem, overcoming challenges in research, resilience in pursuing problems). Don’t merely assert your commitment.
- Explain why you are applying to graduate school, as opposed to seeking a professional degree or a job. Discuss your interest and motivation for grad school, along with your future career aspirations.
I am definitely not your traditional graduate student. As a biracial (Native American and white), first-generation PhD student from a military family, I had very limited guidance on how best to pursue my education, especially when I decided that graduate school was a good idea. I ended up coming to this PhD in a very circuitous manner, stopping first to get a JD and, later, an MFA in Young Adult Literature. With each degree, I took time to work and apply what I’d learned, as a lawyer and as an educator. Each time, I realized that I was circling around questions that I couldn’t let go of—not just because I found them to be fascinating, but because I did (and still do!) feel that my research could help to bridge a gap that desperately needs bridging. Because my work is quite interdisciplinary, I strongly feel that I wouldn’t have been able to pursue this line of research without the degrees and life experience I gained before coming to this program.
— Jamie Fine, PhD candidate in Modern Thought and Literature
Statement of Purpose: subtle aspects
- Think in terms of engaging faculty in a conversation rather than pleading with them that you should be admitted. Ask reviewers to read drafts with this concern in mind.
- With later drafts, try developing an overall narrative theme. See if one emerges as you work.
- Write at least 10 drafts and expect your thinking and the essay to change quite a bit over time.
- Read drafts out loud to help you catch errors.
- Expect the "you' that emerges in your essay to be incomplete. . . that’s OK.
- You’re sharing a professional/scholarly slice of "you."
- Avoid humor (do you really know what senior academics find funny?) and flashy openings and closings. Think of pitching the essay to an educated person in the field, but not necessarily in your specialty. Avoid emotionally laden words (such as "love" or "passion"). Remember, your audience is a group of professors! Overly emotional appeals might make them uncomfortable. They are looking for scholarly colleagues.
© Stanford University. Stanford, California 94305.
- Current Students
We also have a blog about applying for funding, why not read this blog by student Amy Harris on funding a Master's ?
Published By Kristina on 02/09/2020 | Last Updated 23/05/2024
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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)
16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)
Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University
Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions
Key Takeaway
What’s that old saying? “The best way to learn is by doing.” Well, we believe that, in personal statements and in life, cliches like this should be avoided. That's why we recommend reading some example essays before you start writing your own.
Now, before we get into our examples, we should quickly talk about what admissions officers look for in personal statements in the first place.
What does an admissions officer look for in a personal statement?
Before we get to the essays, let’s briefly walk through what goes through an admissions officer’s head when they open an application.
Admissions officers (AOs) read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year. Different institutions require admissions officers to use different criteria when evaluating applications, so the specifics will vary by school. Your entire application should cohere to form a seamless narrative . You'll be crafting that narrative across the following categories:
- Transcripts and course rigor : AOs look at the classes you’ve taken to assess how much you’ve challenged yourself based on the classes your school offers. They’re also looking at how well you've done in these classes each term.
- Extracurricular activities : When reading through your activities list, AOs look at the activities you’ve done, how many years you’ve participated in them, and how many hours a week you devote to them. They’re assessing your activities for the levels of magnitude, impact, and reach that they demonstrate. (Want to know more about these terms? Check out our extracurricular impact post .)
- Background information : This background information briefly tells admissions officers about demographic and family information, your school context, and any honors or awards you’ve received.
- Letters of recommendation : Letters of recommendation give AOs insight into who you are in the classroom.
- Essays : And, finally, the essays. Whether you’re writing a personal statement or a supplemental essay , essays are the main place AOs get to hear your voice and learn more about you. Your personal statement in particular is the place where you get to lay out your overall application narrative and say something meaningful about your personal strengths.
So, with all that in mind, what does an admissions officer actually look for when reading your personal statement?
A few traits tend to surface across the best personal statements, no matter the topic or format. There are four primary areas you should focus on as you craft your personal statement.
- Strengths : AOs want to know about your strengths. That doesn’t mean bragging about your accomplishments, but it does mean writing about a topic that lets you showcase something positive about yourself.
- Personal meaning : Personal statements shouldn’t be fluff. They shouldn’t be history essays. They should be personal essays that ooze meaning. The topic you choose should show something significant about yourself that the admissions officers won’t get from any other part of your application.
- Authenticity and vulnerability : These characteristics can be the most difficult to achieve. Being “vulnerable” doesn’t mean airing all your dirty laundry. It means revealing something authentic and meaningful about who you are. To be vulnerable means to go beyond the surface level to put yourself out there, even to admissions officers who you’ve never met.
- Clear organization and writing : And lastly, admissions officers also want your essay to be organized clearly so it’s easy to follow along. Remember that admissions officers are reading lots of applications, even in one sitting. So you want to make your reader’s job as easy as possible. Thoughtful and skillful writing can also help take your personal statement to the next level.
If you want to know more about how to incorporate these traits into your own essay, we have a whole guide about how to write the perfect personal statement .
But for now, let’s get into the examples.
We’ve broken up the example personal statements into three categories: best personal statement examples, good personal statement examples, and “bad” personal statement examples. These categories show you that there is a spectrum of what personal statements can look like. The best examples are the gold standard. They meet or exceed all four of the main criteria admissions officers are looking for. The good examples are just that: good. They’re solid examples that may be lacking in a specific area but are still effective personal statements. The “bad” examples are those that don’t yet stack up to the expectations of a personal statement. They’re not objectively bad, but they need some specific improvements to align with what admissions officers are looking for.
Here we go!
The Best Personal Statement Examples
Writing an exceptional personal statement takes a lot of time and effort. Even the best writers can find the genre challenging. But when you strike the perfect chord and get it right, it’s almost like magic. Your essay jumps off the page and captures an admissions officer’s attention. They feel like you’re right there with them, telling them everything they need to know to vote “yes” on your admission.
The following essays are some of our favorites. They cover a range of topics, styles, and student backgrounds. But they all tell meaningful stories about the writers’ lives. They are well-organized, use vivid language, and speak to the writers’ strengths.
For each essay, our team of former admissions officers have offered comments about what makes the essay exceptional. Take a look through the annotations and feedback to see what lessons you can apply to your own personal statement.
Personal Statement Example #1: Reinvention
For our first example, which we’ve titled “Reinvention,” we’re going to watch Alex break the essay down paragraph by paragraph. This one’s really good. Let’s take a look.
As Alex explains, this essay takes a couple of (very beautiful!) paragraphs to get to its central message: reinvention. Once we reach that turning point, the writer seamlessly introduces us to their engineering interests, then returns again to their mother’s influence. The metaphor of “watermelon rinds” ties everything together. The writer comes across as a clever, thoughtful person—one we would surely want on our campus.
(Want to see more video examples and get personalized application and essay help? Let’s work together. )
Personal Statement Example #2: Thankful
My family has always been broke. Saturday mornings and Thursday evenings, always the same drill: the kids (my brothers and me) would be loaded in the car with my parents and off we’d all go to the food pantry. New clothes were few and far between, and going on vacation was something that we could only dream of. Despite our financial struggles, one year, my parents decided to surprise us with a trip to Disney Land. It was a complete shock to me and my siblings. We were over the moon. In fact, the screams of excitement that emanated from my younger brother’s mouth still ring in my ears.
But as the trip drew close, my excitement tempered and I began to worry. Being poor when you’re young doesn’t just affect you materially. It also affects how you see the world and loads you up with a whole range of anxieties that, in an ideal world, no child should have to face. How were my parents going to afford this, I wondered? Would an expense like this push us over the brink?(( The beginning of this essay, and especially this sentence, show the writer’s empathy. They are not selfish; they understand their broader family context and take that into consideration.)) I didn't want to ruin the surprise by asking, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread building inside of me.
The day of our trip arrived and we set off for the airport. In the car, my dad made an off-the-cuff comment about a new video game that he’d wanted to play but didn’t buy, and everything clicked—my parents had made the trip possible by saving for months, cutting back on expenses and sacrificing their own comforts to make the trip happen.
As we boarded the plane, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was grateful beyond words for my parents' sacrifice, but I was also overwhelmed by the guilt of knowing that they had given up so much for us. I didn't know how to express my gratitude; when we deplaned in LAX, I gave my mom and dad a rib-crushing hug.
The trip itself was everything that I had dreamed of and more. We spent four magical days at Disney Land(( Nice use of vivid details here. The reader can picture the sights and smells of Disney—and the ensuing hunger when passing a churro stand.)) , speed running the roller coasters and campy boat rides from the 70s. Sure, we packed our own food and walked right by the churro stands with a hungry look in our eyes. But I will never forget the feeling of unmitigated joy that my family shared on that trip, the smiles that painted my parents’ faces.
But the trip itself was nothing compared to the gratitude I felt for my parents(( Here, the writer transitions to reintroducing the theme of gratitude.)) . They had given us the gift of a lifetime, and I knew that I would never be able to repay them for their sacrifice.
In the years since that trip, I have carried that feeling of gratitude with me. It has motivated me to work hard and to always strive to be the best person that I can be. I want to make my parents proud and to show them that their sacrifice was worth it(( Finally, the writer sums things up with an eye to the future. It’s helpful for an admission officer to picture what the essay’s lessons might mean for the student as a future community member.)) .
I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for what my parents did for us, but I will always remember their selflessness and their willingness to put their own needs aside for the sake of our happiness. It was a truly surprising and incredible act of love, and one that I will always be thankful for.
AO Notes on Thankful
This essay accomplishes a few things even though it essentially tells one story and offers a quick reflection. It gives some important context regarding the challenges of being from a lower-income family. It does that in a way that is authentic, rather than problem-focused. It also shows that the writer is empathetic, family-oriented, and reflective.
Why this essay stands out:
- Vulnerability : This essay is upfront about a challenging topic: financial insecurity. While you don’t have to tell your most difficult challenge in an essay, this writer chose to write about a circumstance that gives additional context that may be helpful as admissions considers their application.
- Personal : The writer gets into some family dynamics and paints a picture of how their family treats and takes care of each other.
- Values: We clearly see some values the writer has and that they don’t take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. As an admission officer, I can picture this student using their education to give back—to their family or to others.
Personal Statement Example #3: Pickleball
I’ve always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I’m always the first one out and the last one across the finish line. These realities aren’t from a lack of skill—I’m actually quite coordinated and fast. They are from a lack of effort(( This is a quick hit of… either humor or vulnerability. I chuckled at the blunt honesty, and am intrigued to learn more.)) . Despite my best intentions, I can never get myself to care about sports or competitions. So when my dad first asked me to be his pickleball partner last summer, I did nothing but laugh.
But soon, I realized that he was serious. My dad started playing pickleball two years ago as a fun way to exercise. He’d become a star in our city’s recreation league, and I always enjoyed cheering him on from the sidelines. When his doubles partner got relocated for work, my dad decided that the disruption was a good opportunity for us bond through pickleball. Even though I was mortified by the thought of running back and forth to hit a bouncing ball, I reluctantly agreed.
The next Saturday morning, we went to the court for our first practice. I was wearing sweatpants, an old sweatshirt, and a grimace. My dad showed me how to hold the paddle, serve, and return the ball to our opponents. He told me about staying out of the kitchen—an endearing pickleball term that references the “kitchen,” or the middle part of the court—trying to make me laugh. Instead, I sighed impatiently and walked to my end of the court, ready to get it over with.
My dad remained patient in spite of my bad attitude. He gently served me the ball, and I gave a lackluster attempt to return it. The ball bounced into the net. I hadn’t even made it to his side of the court. Trying his best to encourage me, my dad gave me the ball so I could serve it to him instead. I tossed the ball up and hit it underhand toward my dad. It hit the net again. I tried again and again, each attempt with less care than the last. I grew frustrated and threw my paddle down in anger(( Okay, this paragraph gives a good dose of openness to the emotions of the writer. They’ve served up an opportunity to learn a lesson soon…)) .
After seeing my mini-meltdown, my dad crossed the kitchen to talk to me. During our conversation, I began to ask myself why I got so frustrated when I wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. I thought pickleball was a miserable sport, but I realized that it wasn’t pickleball that I cared about. I cared about my dad. I wanted to make him proud(( Ah, and there it is! A realization. As the admission officer I’m thinking, “Go on…”)) . Playing pickleball with him was the least I could do to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I dusted off my bad attitude alongside my paddle, and I got up to try another serve.
That serve hit the net again. But more determined now, I kept trying until my serves went over the net and through my dad’s weak side. I couldn’t believe it. My attitude adjustment helped me see the game for what it was: a game. It wasn’t supposed to be agonizing or cruel. It was supposed to be fun.
I learned that my attitude towards sports was unacceptable. This experience taught me that it’s okay to have preferences about what you enjoy, but it’s important to always maintain a positive attitude(( And the lesson learned! )) . You may just enjoy it after all.
Now my dad and I are both stars in our recreation league. Soon, we will make our way to our league’s semi-finals. We’ve worked our way through the bracket and are close to the championship. What I appreciate more about this experience, however, is how close it’s brought my dad and I together. His patience, positivity, and persistence have and will always inspire me. I want to be more like him every day, especially on the pickleball court.
AO Notes on Pickleball
This is a strong “attitude adjustment” essay, a bit of a remix of a challenge essay. The challenge, in this case, was a fixed mindset about sports that needed to be adjusted. The writer takes us on a witty journey through their own attitude towards organized athletic activities and their father.
- Self-aware : Similar to the vulnerability of other essays, this writer is willing to criticize themselves by recognizing that they need an attitude adjustment. Even before they changed their attitude, we get the sense that they are at least aware of their own lack of effort.
- Strong conclusion : We see a nice lesson at the end that relates both to having an open mind and caring for others. They even make a point about simply enjoying things because they are fun.
- Life lesson : Beyond the stated lesson, as an admission officer with a few more years on this Earth than the writer, I can tell this lesson will apply beyond sports. In fact, I can easily picture this student trying a new class, club, or group of friends in college because they are now more open to novel experiences.
Personal Statement Example #4: The Bird Watcher
I’m an avid walker and bird watcher(( Okay, the writer gets right into it! I think this simple introduction of the topic works well because they are writing about a less common hobby among teenagers. If they had said “I am an avid baseball player”, I would have been less eager to learn more.)) . Growing up, I’d clear my head by walking along the trail in the woods behind my house. By the time I was immersed in the chaos of high school, these walks became an afternoon routine. Now, every day at three o’clock, I don my jacket and hiking shoes and set off. As I walk, I note the flora and fauna around me. The wind whispering through the trees, the quiet rustling of a chipmunk underfoot, and the high-pitched call of robins perched atop branches, all of it brings me back to life after a difficult day.
And recently, the days have been more difficult than not. My grandparents passing, parents divorcing, and doctor diagnosing me with ADHD have presented me with more challenges than I’ve ever experienced before. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the wildlife on my walks brings me peace. As an aspiring ornithologist, the birds are my favorite(( This paragraph accomplishes a lot: a montage of difficult circumstances, context for their application, and declares their future career.)) .
I became interested in ornithology during long childhood afternoons spent at my grandparents’ house. They would watch me while my parents finished up work. I’d listen to the old bird clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Each number on the clock corresponded with a different bird. Every hour, the clock would chirp rather than chime. When the cardinal sang, I knew my parents would be arriving soon. Those chirps are all seared into my memory.
Twelve o’clock: robin. The short, fast, almost laugh-like sound of the robin always makes me hungry. All those Saturday afternoons filled with laughter and good food have resulted in a Pavlovian response. I’d cook meatballs with my grandma, splashing sauce on her floral wall paper. We’d laugh and laugh and enjoy the meal together at her plastic-covered kitchen table. This wasn’t my home, but I felt at home just the same.
Three o’clock: blue jay. It’d chime as soon as we walked in the door after school. The blue jay was my grandpa’s favorite. It was also mine. Why he loved it, I’m not completely sure. But it was my favorite because it marked the beginning of the best parts of my day. Symbolizing strength and confidence, blue jays always remind me of my grandpa.
Six o’clock: cardinal. The sharp whistle and staccato of the cardinal indicated that it was almost time for me to leave. Like the whistle of a closing shift, I’d hear it and start to pack my things. The cardinal has always been my least favorite.
Nine o’clock: house finch. The high, sweet, almost inquisitive call of the house finch was the one my grandma loved most. It was also the one I rarely heard. Either too early or too late in the day, the house finch was reserved for the occasional weekends when I’d spend the night at their house. My grandma would explain that finches symbolize harmony and peace. They are petite but mighty, just like she was(( This is a clever and sweet way of describing summer days with grandparents, while sprinkling in some vivid details to bring the story to life.)) .
This past weekend was the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. Longing for my grandparents, I went for a walk. Winter is approaching, so the sky was darkening quickly. I walked slowly. As the sun set, I heard the tell-tale squawk of a blue jay, loud and piercing through the chill of the wind. I looked around and saw it sitting on an old stump, a small house finch behind it. I extracted my binoculars from my backpack, hoping to get a better glimpse through the dark. I turned the dial to focus the lenses, just as the birds flew away together. I took a deep breath, binoculars in hand, and continued on, spotting a robin in the distance(( The ending stylistically wraps the essay up without tying a bow on it. It’s a more artful way of concluding, and it works well here.)) .
AO Notes on Birdwatcher
This first two paragraphs are well-written and fairly to-the-point in their language. They do a nice job of setting the scene, but the third paragraph transitions into the writer’s distinctive voice. They detail the birds on the clock to chronicle the hours of their summer days and end, not without concluding, but leaving the reader wanting to read more of their stories.
- Voice: The writer transitions to writing in their own distinct voice, which comes to a crescendo in the final paragraph.
- Interesting approach: Sometimes students use an approach to tell a story that feels overly forced or cliche. This one feels organic and relates nicely to the writer, their family, and the story as a whole.
- Career path : This is far from a “What I want to be when I grow up” essay, but it clearly shows an academic interest grounded in family and childhood memories. This is an artistic and beautiful approach to showing admissions how the writer may use their college education.
Personal Statement Example #5: Chekov’s Wig
At the age of six, I starred in an at-home, one-woman production of Annie. My family watched as I switched between a wig I’d fashioned from maroon yarn, a dog’s tail leftover from Halloween, and a tie I’d stolen from my dad.
When the reveal came that Annie’s parents had actually passed away, I took a creative liberty: they had left Annie a small unicorn farm. The rest of the play proceeded as normal. When the curtain closed, I bowed to the sound of my family’s applause. But one set of hands was missing: my grandmother’s. Instead she sat, arms raised, and jokingly exclaimed, “But what about the unicorns?”(( Wow, an interesting intro! We see creativity and a silly side to the writer. As the admission officer, I’m eager to see where this leads.))
My grandma, an avid thespian, taught me a lot about life. But one of the most important lessons followed this production of Annie . After we laughed about her remark, she introduced me to the concept of Chekov’s gun. For Anton Chekov, brilliant playwright, the theory goes something like this: a writer shouldn’t write about a loaded gun if it’s not going to be fired. In other words, writers shouldn’t include details about something if it won’t serve a purpose in the story later. My unicorn farm had committed this writing faux pas egregiously.
I’m not a natural writer, and I have no goal to become one, but I’ve taken this concept of Chekov’s gun to heart—it forms the foundation of my life philosophy. I don’t believe that everything was meant to be(( This philosophical reflection is a nice introduction to the paragraphs that follow. )) . In fact, I think that sometimes bad things just happen. But I believe that these details will always play a part in our larger story.
The first test of my Chekov’s gun philosophy occurred shortly after Annie when my grandma, my biggest supporter, passed away. My family tried to console me saying that “it was her time to go,” but I disagreed. I couldn’t see how a death could be destined. Instead, I found comfort knowing that her presence, her support, and her death wasn’t for nothing. Like Chekov’s gun, I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew that she would return for me.
As I grew older, my philosophy was tested time and again. Most recently, I fell back on Chekov’s gun as I coped with my parents’ divorce and my subsequent move to a new town. Both events shattered my world. My happy family theatre productions turned into custody hearings and overnight bags. The community I’d found at my old school became a sea of unfamiliar faces at my new one. None of this was meant to be. But as the writer of my own life, I won’t let the details become inconsequential.
I’ve used these events as plot points in my high school experience. Dealing with my parents’ divorce has taught me how to make the best of what’s given to me. I got the chance to decorate two bedrooms, live in both the suburbs and the city, and even have twice the amount of pets. And without the inciting incident of the divorce and move(( We see that the writer is able to make lemonade out of lemons here.)) , I never would have joined a new drama club or landed leading roles in Mama Mia and Twelfth Night. The divorce and move, like Chekov’s gun, have been crucial details in getting me where I’m at today.
I know that Chekov’s gun is more about the details in a story, but this philosophy empowers me to take what happens, the good and the bad, as part of my personal character development. Nothing would be happening if it weren’t important.
This summer, as we cleaned our garage in preparation for yet another move, I found my old Annie wig, yarn tangled from the box. Next to the wig was a note, handwritten in a script I’d recognize anywhere. My darling star, it read. You are going to go on to do great things. Love, Grandma ((And a sweet, or bittersweet, conclusion.)) .
AO Notes on Chekov’s Wig
This essay tells a beautiful story about a foundational philosophy in this young writer’s life. As their admission officer, I can see how grounded and positive they are. I can also imagine them taking this lesson to college: really paying attention to life, reflecting on the past, and understanding the value of even the smallest instances. There is an inherent maturity in this essay.
- Creativity: From the first few sentences, we can see that this student is now, and was as a child, creative. An original thinker.
- Reflective: When challenged by their grandmother, the writer didn’t insist that their way was correct. They took the criticism in stride and absorbed it as a salient life lesson. This shows open-mindedness and an uncommon level of maturity.
- Silver linings: It’s clear that this young writer has had some familial challenges that are likely familiar to some of you. They don’t gloss over them, but instead they learn from them. From having more pets to starring in the school musicals, there are lessons to glean from even life’s more difficult challenges.
Personal Statement Example #6: An Afternoon with Grandmother
The Buddhist temple on the hillside above my home has always possessed a deep power for me. With its towering spires and intricate carvings thousands of years old, it is a place of peace and serenity(( This writer opens with some wonderful imagery. I like how the imagery mirrors the meaning.)) —somewhere I can go to escape the chaos of the world and connect with myself and with my sense of spirituality. When my grandmother called me one January to let me know that she would be coming to visit, I smiled, my mind darting immediately to the temple and to the visit of it we would take together.
My relationship with my grandmother is a special one. After my parents passed away, she and my grandfather raised me for three years before I moved in with my father’s sister. In that time, she was my sole companion; she shared her recipes with me, told me stories, and most importantly, she taught me everything I know about spirituality. We spent countless nights staying up past bed-time, talking about the teachings of the Buddha, and she encouraged me gently to explore my own path to enlightenment(( This topic is accomplishing a lot: we see the writer’s relationship with their grandmother, their personal values, and their ideas about who they want to be in the future.)) .
When my grandmother finally arrived, I felt bathed in a warm glow. After catching up and preparing her favorite meal—red rice with miso soup and hot green tea—I told her about the plans I had for us to visit my special place.
Later that afternoon, as we entered the temple, I felt the calmness and tranquility wash over me. I took my grandmother's hand and led her to the main hall, where we knelt before the altar and began to recite the prayers and mantras that I had learned from her years before.
As we prayed, our voices joined together, echoing throughout the temple. A gentle rain began to fall outside and, as the cold crept around where we knelt, I was engulfed by a deep sense of connection with my grandmother and with the universe. It was as if the barriers between us were falling away, and we were becoming one—with each other, and with our shared connection to the divine.
We finished our prayers and sat in silence, lingering in the serenity of the temple. I could feel my grandmother's hand in mine, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude and love(( A great example of weaving vivid language with explicit reflection!)) .
Spirituality has been essential in my life. It gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, and it teaches me the value of compassion. My spirituality has also given me a way to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level—like a private language that only we speak together. In a world that can often feel chaotic and disconnected, faith and spirituality provide a sense of stability and connection.
As we left the temple, I held my grandmother's hand and felt suffused by a sense of peace and contentment. Too often people who are disconnected from spirituality misunderstand the role it plays in billions of people’s lives. They see it as a way to “check out” from the issues the world faces, ignoring their responsibilities to others. This may be true for others, but not me. Quite the opposite. My spirituality helps me empathize with others(( Wonderful reflection.)) ; it helps me focus on the obligations we each have to every other person and creature on this planet. For me, it is the ultimate way to “check in” to the needs of the world and my community in a way that grounds me emotionally.
Spirituality offers a way to find meaning and purpose in life, and to connect with something greater than ourselves. For that, and for my grandmother, I am truly grateful.
AO Notes on An Afternoon with Grandmother
In this deeply reflective essay, the writer uses spirituality and their relationship with their grandmother to reveal a very personal part of themselves. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, and they clearly showcase strengths of wisdom and compassion.
- Vivid language: This author is a talented writer who has included a bunch of vivid language. But it’s not over the top. They include just enough to hold a reader’s attention and add some interest.
- Reflection: The reflection throughout this essay is excellent. Notice how it’s not just at the beginning or the end. It’s woven throughout. The writer follows up each major detail with an explanation of why it’s personally meaningful.
- Conclusion: The conclusion combines vivid language and reflection perfectly. By the end of the essay, we know exactly what the writer wants us to take away: spirituality is personally meaningful to them because it helps them connect with the people around them. And I especially like how the writer chose to end on a note of gratitude—always a good value to have in a personal statement.
Personal Statement Example #7: Rosie’s
While most people find their lowest point at rock bottom, I found mine in an Amerikooler DW081677F-8(( We’re definitely off to an odd start. I’m curious where this is headed!)) . With drops rolling down my back and my cheeks, I snuck into the walk-in freezer for a moment of chill.
At that point, I had worked at Rosie's for nearly a year. The job was a good one: it fit with my school schedule, paid well, and introduced me to close friends. But as a workplace, Rosie’s was pure chaos. The original owners passed on a host of problems the new owners were working hard to fix. But the problems ran deep. From an inefficient kitchen organization to a malfunctioning scheduling software, we never knew what to do or when.
The day I found myself in the Amerikooler was the day everything caught up with us(( This is a good transitional phrase that helps readers navigate this fairly complex narrative.)) . An error in our scheduling software led to us operating with only 30% of our typical team. As the only waitress on duty, I ran between the kitchen and the guests, stopping mid-delivery to put new vegetables in the steamers. The kitchen staff were barely getting through each dish before customers lost patience.
Then, in all the commotion, I dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese all over a customer. I apologized over and over again. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I always tried to be one step ahead to give my customers the best service, so my mistake felt like an utter failure. After helping them clean up, I ran immediately to the freezer. I realized that something had to change.
In the Amerikooler, a pea and corn mix cool on my back, I considered my options. The easiest option was to quit. I could find another job, one that didn’t cause me so much stress. But quitting wouldn’t just mean giving up. It would mean accepting my failure. It would also mean abandoning the coworkers I had grown close to. Leaving them would only burden them more. While I knew it wasn’t my job to fix the restaurant, I knew that leaving wasn’t the answer either. Instead, I decided to focus on solutions(( I like the focus on solutions and action steps here!)) . I stood up from the cold, dirty freezer floor, dusted off my work pants, washed my hands, and got back to work.
Despite being the newest and youngest member of the Rosie’s staff, I recognized that I brought a new perspective to the workplace. Having spent the previous three summers scheduling volunteers for my local food drive, I used my organizing experience to devise a new scheduling system, one that didn’t rely on our outdated technology. I brought up the system at our weekly meeting, and after initial pushback, everyone agreed to give it a try. Three months later, my system keeps everyone happy and our kitchen and floor staffed.
But it wasn’t just the staffing problem that was the issue. Our workflows were inefficient, and we didn’t know how to communicate or collaborate effectively. I know that identifying an issue is always the first step to a solution, so I raised the question at our most recent staff meeting. Having earned my coworkers’ and bosses’ trust(( And here we see some good growth and leadership.)) , I led us in outlining a few new processes to streamline our productivity. In stark contrast to the failure I felt after spilling the macaroni and cheese, developing a new workflow with my coworkers made me proud. I hadn’t given in to the chaos, but I had worked thoughtfully and collaboratively to create new solutions.
I’m sure that won’t be my last time working in a disorganized environment or spilling macaroni and cheese. But I know that I’ll be ready to address whatever comes my way.
AO Notes on Rosie’s
If you’ve ever worked in a food establishment, then something in this essay will probably resonate with you. But I appreciate how the writer doesn’t get pulled into the negativity they experience. Instead, they focused their efforts (and their essay) on how they could make things better for everyone. That’s the kind of student admissions officers want to see on their campuses.
- Organization: The writer has to narrate and backtrack a bit at the beginning of the essay to make the introduction work. But it’s not confusing for a reader because they have very solid transitions. I also like how the action steps and reflection are organized in the narrative.
- Positive outlook: As an admissions officer, I would admire this student for their problem-solving skills. Working in that environment was surely tough, but they didn’t give up. They got to work and helped everyone out in the process.
- Humor: From the introduction to the conclusion, the writer incorporates subtle humor throughout. Because of it, we actually feel like we know the writer by the conclusion. Too much humor can overwhelm a personal essay, but just enough can help readers see who the writer really is.
Personal Statement Example #8: Gone Fishing
I pulled the line with my left hand and snapped the rod back with my right. The line split through the air above me like a knife through cake. I rigidly waved my right arm up and down to dry off my fly, which had started sinking from the weight of the water. Ready to cast, I loosened the grip on my left hand to release a few more feet of line, pulled my right arm back in a grandiose motion, and hammered it back down. I expected my line to fly out in front of me, gracefully floating back onto the surface of the water. Instead, I was met with a startling resistance. My fly had lodged itself into the bush behind me(( This opening paragraph has great vivid description. Here, we end on a moment of suspense that has left me intrigued about what will happen next.)) .
Annoyed, I waded through the tall, thick grass, rod under my arm and mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. This was the reality of fly fishing. In my short time as a fisherman, I’d caught far more trees, bushes, and riverweed than I had fish. What seems so elegant in movies like A River Runs Through It is actually a grueling process of trial and error. I took up flyfishing a year ago to conquer my fear of the outdoors(( Ah ha—we learn that this essay isn’t really about fly fishing. It’s about conquering a fear. And with that, we see that the stakes are high.)) . I could have (and probably should have) chosen a more mild activity like hiking or kayaking, but I’ve always been one to take on a challenge.
I had been afraid of the outdoors since childhood. Coming from a family that prefers libraries to parks and bed and breakfasts to tents, I never learned how to appreciate nature. I limited my time outside as much as I could. I feared the bugs, the sun, and the unknown.
I decided to try flyfishing when I realized I didn’t want to be controlled by my fear any longer(( As an AO, I would applaud this student’s bravery.)) . All the birthday parties I’d turned down, the memories that were made without me, I had missed out on so much. Being outside was an integral part of the human experience—or, at least, that’s what I’d been told. Without being willing to enjoy nature, I was missing out on what it meant to be myself.
Soon after this realization, I found an old rod in my grandpa’s garage and took it as a sign from the universe. On my first time out, my Honda Civic lurched over a ditch on the gravel road Google Maps had directed me to. I’d spent hours watching YouTube videos of proper technique. Stepping out of my car, I felt my skin crack under the dry heat, and I wanted to leave. But I continued on, walking through branches and over logs to the riverbank. I was doing it( More vivid detail that really gives us a sense of the writer’s discomfort—yet they’re persisting.)) .
I pushed myself to continue, no matter how uncomfortable I got. I went back, Saturday after Saturday, each time noticing improvements in my abilities. Along the way, I learned to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn’t Charlie, afraid of the outdoors. I was Charlie, fisherman.
The first time I caught a fish, I could hardly believe it. Thinking I had caught another piece of riverweed, I tugged on my line and rolled my eyes. But suddenly, it started tugging back. It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, one of haste, pride, and panic. I instantly collected myself, bracing against the bank as I secured the line with my finger and slowly pulled the fish ashore. Delicately removing my hook from its mouth, I admired its beauty. Whereas I had once feared creatures like this trout, I now respected it. Its holographic scales glistened in the sunlight. I thanked it for helping me grow, and I placed it back in the water. It swam away. I wiped the slime off my hands and picked up my rod, left hand tugging at the line, right hand snapping back again((This conclusion is quite long, but I really like this poetic ending. It shows so much growth, and there’s a subtle nod to the fact that the writer is continuing to fish.)) .
AO Notes on Gone Fishing
From all this imagery, I really felt like I was fishing alongside them. What’s better, I feel like I really get where this student is coming from because of their vulnerability. They show immense growth and open-mindedness, which is exactly what admissions officers are looking for.
- Imagery: This writer definitely likes creative writing. From the introduction, we can envision ourselves going on this journey with the writer. There is some excellent “show, don’t tell” here.
- Deep personal meaning: Biggest fears are hard to overcome, especially with such a good attitude. It’s clear that this topic is a meaningful one to the writer. Even the act of fly fishing, which they didn’t seem to like much at first, becomes a meaningful act.
- Narrative arc: We have a classic “going on a journey” essay, where the writer transforms on a journey from point A (being afraid of the outdoors) to point B (catching a fish). The writer’s implementation of this structure is excellent, which makes the essay easy to follow.
Good Personal Statement Examples
Even if your essay isn’t worthy of The New Yorker , you can still make your mark on admissions officers. Writing an essay that fulfills all the goals of a personal statement, whether or not it meets every single criterion an admissions officer is looking for, can still get you into a great college.
Most personal statements are good personal statements, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amazing essay examples you see online. The key to writing a good personal statement is writing your personal statement. Focus on finding a topic that lets you communicate your own meaning and voice, and you’ll be set.
The following examples are awesome personal statements. There may be a little room for improvement in places, but the essays do exactly what they need to do. And they say a lot about their writers. Let’s see what the writers and admissions officers have to say.
Personal Statement Example #9: Beekeeper’s Club
As I lift the heavy lid of the hive, the hum of thousands of bees fills my ears. I carefully smoke the entrance to calm the bees, and I begin to inspect the frames. The bees are busy at work, collecting nectar and pollen, and tending to their young. I am in awe of their organization.
I never would have thought that I, a high school student, would become a beekeeper(( An interesting hobby for a high school student! I’m intrigued to see where this is going.)) . But now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.
It all started when I found a beekeeping suit at a garage sale two summers ago. At a mere five dollars, it was yellowing and musty, but it appeared to be fully intact and without any holes. I’ve lived many lives as a hobbyist, always willing to try new things. I’ve been a sailor, a gardener, a basketball player, a harpist, a rock climber, and more. The problem is that I can never manage to see these hobbies through(( I see. Here we get a sense of what’s at stake in this new venture. The problem is that writer can’t seem to hold down a hobby. Will beekeeping solve that problem? Let’s find out .)) . As a perpetual novice, I always lose interest or become overwhelmed by all the information. But that’s never stopped me from taking up a new hobby, so I brought the beekeeping suit to the make-shift register and handed the seller a five-dollar bill.
To embark on my new hobby, I first went to the library and read everything I could find about beekeeping. Research is always my first step when starting something new. I like to know what I’m in for. As I read, I became fascinated by the fact that such small creatures can serve such a critical role on our planet. I learned about the importance of bees for pollinating crops, and I read that their populations have been declining in recent years. I was determined to do my part to help. This wasn’t just a hobby anymore— it was a mission(( And the stakes just got higher.)) .
But like the bees I’d been reading about, I knew I couldn't do it alone. My years of abandoning hobbies had taught me that this time, I needed guidance from someone with experience. I knew the first place to look. At the farmer’s market that Saturday, I went straight to the honey stand and introduced myself. The vendor’s name was Jeremy, and he was excited to see someone so young taking up beekeeping. I asked if I could come see his hives sometime, and he agreed.
I showed up the next weekend with my used beekeeping suit in hand. Jeremy gave me a tour. I was astounded by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity. As the months went by, Jeremy became my mentor. He taught me the importance of monitoring the health of the hive, how to properly harvest honey, and even the ins and outs of the farmer’s market business.
I was grateful for his guidance and friendship. I found myself becoming more and more passionate about bees and the art of beekeeping.
After months of tending to my hive, I finally had it up and running. These bees were in my care(( The writer has shown us that they’ve learned a big lesson from their past failures: they need support and guidance. I’m impressed that this time they are making an intentional change.)) —this was one hobby I couldn’t abandon. With that knowledge and Jeremy’s support, one hive grew to five. I’m not in it for the money or even the honey. I’m in it for the bees, for the millimeter of difference I’m making in their lives and in the life of the earth.
Through beekeeping, I have found a community of people who share my love for bees. Jeremy, the bees, and the entire beekeeping community have taught me not to quit. We support each other, share tips and advice, and work together to help protect these important insects. And in the process, I have learned that I can take up any new hobby I want and stick with it if I just put in enough effort(( Yep—the writer has come out of this journey on the other side, having learned that their effort does pay off.)) .
AO Notes on Beekeeper’s Club
As an admissions officer, it’s always fun to read about students’ eccentric hobbies. I’d count this as one of them. But what’s better than learning about the hobby is seeing a student’s personal growth.
What makes this essay good:
- Personal journey: Most good personal statements show some kind of personal growth. In this case, we see that the writer has grown mature and aware enough to hold down a hobby. We see that it wasn’t an easy road, but they got there.
- Strengths: There are lots of strengths in this personal statement. We see self-awareness, initiative, teamwork, and care for the bees and the planet.
- Reflection: Part of what makes this personal journey so good is that the writer takes us on the journey with them through reflection. At each stage of the journey, we know exactly what the writer is thinking and feeling. By the end, we’re celebrating their success with them.
What the writer could do to level up:
- Personal meaning: Yep, “personal journey” and “personal meaning” can be two separate things. Although the writer goes on a great personal journey, the personal meaning seems to be lacking a bit. It’s clear that this is an important topic to the writer, but it doesn’t exactly come across as an especially vulnerable one. The writer could make it more vulnerable by incorporating more personal meaning into their reflection: what would it have meant if they had quit beekeeping too? What’s the problem with dropping hobbies in the first place? Why is it personally important to learn to stick with things?
Personal Statement Example #10: Ann
Pushing her blonde curls from her forehead, she pursed her lips in focus(( This vivid, detailed description really draws me in.)) . She sat with legs crossed across the kitchen chair. This was it: the moment she’d been preparing for. Her tiny hand gripped the pencil as if it were a stick of dynamite and twitched her fingers up, down, and back again. She looked up at me and smiled, teeth too big for her growing mouth. “Ann,” the paper read. As I glowed back at my mini-me, I saw in her my whole heart(( And here the focus switches from Ann to the writer—an important transition.)) .
My sister was technically an accident, born when I was eleven years old. But I know that, in the grand scheme of things, Ann’s existence was destined by the cosmos. Watching her write was like looking in a mirror. My hair has long since turned brown, but she and I deal with the same unmanageable curls. Her toothy grin developed over five years of mutual laughter. And she got that unwavering focus from watching me do my own homework each night. At the same time I’ve taught her the ways of the world, she’s taught me joy, patience, and persistence(( Lessons learned! This sentence really draws attention to the main theme. It could be a little more specific because “joy, patience, and persistence” are almost cliche.)) .
I had been an only child for my first decade of life. I remember being lonely and without purpose. With Ann came the opportunity to make a real impact on someone, even as a child myself. The night she was born, I vowed to protect her. I had never seen anyone so small and fragile, and I begged my parents to let me hold her. Next to mine, her hand looked like a doll’s. It was purple and pink from the ordeal of birth. Her eyes barely opened, but I couldn’t keep mine off her.
Many older siblings find their younger siblings to be nuisances. But Ann has always been my best friend. Her first two years of life, she struggled with health issues that scared us all. I felt helpless and afraid, but I knew I had to fight alongside her. I did everything I could: I grabbed diapers and bottles for my parents, I talked to her for hours on end, and, when she was old enough, I spoon fed her and encouraged her to eat. As Ann grew bigger and stronger, I grew stronger, too(( It sounds like this was a really difficult challenge for the writer and their family. I appreciate this picture we get of the writer in relation to Ann.)) .
Each year has gotten better than the previous. I was there to catch Ann when she took her first steps, teach her her first words, and get her dressed every day. She tagged behind me as I took photos before my first dance, got my learner’s permit, and went on my college tours. While being a teen with a toddler sibling wasn’t always perfect, Ann’s mere presence makes those around her feel loved and appreciated. She’s exactly who I aspire to be.
Watching her write her name at the kitchen table, I became overwhelmed with the thought of leaving her to head off to college. She still has so much to learn, so many ways to grow. But just as the thought entered my mind, she spoke in her high-pitched and innocent voice. “When you go to college,” she asked, “will you tell me about your classes?” I blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes, smoothed her curls with my hand, and pulled her in close.
Going to college won’t mean leaving Ann. It will mean opening her world—and mine—to endless new knowledge and possibilities. She’ll grow and change, and so will I. When we reunite, we’ll smile our toothy smiles and embrace each other, our curly hair intertwining. We’ll sit at the kitchen table, focused and laughing, like nothing has changed(( I like how the siblings are continuing to grow together, but at the end of the day, they still have their amazing relationship.)) .
AO Notes on Ann
I always find sibling essays like this one so sweet. It’s amazing how clearly we can understand someone solely through their interactions with a loved one. As an admissions officer, I would see that this student would be a great community member (and roommate!).
- Deeply meaningful: Especially with the family context, it’s apparent that this topic is deeply meaningful to the writer. Because it’s so meaningful a topic, the writer is able to show an immense amount of care for Ann without even trying. AOs love seeing traits like care, maturity, and the ability to grow.
- Clear message: Personal statements should have themes that encompass the main message the writer wants to convey. This essay’s message is clear as day: the writer is a better, happier, more generous person because of Ann. They are an awesome sibling.
- More about the self: This one’s tricky because we get an implicit sense of who the writer is now through the overall tone and meaning. But a lot of the personal examples the writer chose are old examples from childhood and early adolescence. Some of those are important to provide family context, but I still would have liked to get a more recent picture of the writer.
Personal Statement Example #11: Running through My Neighborhood
My mind and eyes began to wander as I turned the corner on my fourth mile. I’ve always been a runner. It's a way for me to relax and challenge myself. Running makes me feel like I’m one with the world around me. As I run, I can't help but be struck by the beauty of the buildings and people that make up my city. Each is a work of art—a carefully-crafted expression of my community. With every step, I feel a deep connection to the life around me(( This introduction covers a lot, so this last sentence could be a bit more specific.)) .
On my run, I find myself drawn to the intricate details of the buildings. I admire the way the light catches on centuries-old bricks, casting shadows that dance across the pavement below. I look up at the skyscraper windows that nearly touch the sky, frightened at the sight of window washers. Old and new, the buildings all carry stories.
In the same way, I admire the neighbors around me. I see them feeding pigeons, smiling at me as I pass by. They’re walking dogs and babies, talking on a park bench, and playing hopscotch. I run by them, fast but steady, and breathe it all in. I’m on this beautiful city block, surrounded by people whose whole lives are familiar yet mysterious, and I’m running.
But it's not just the aesthetic beauty of the buildings that grabs my attention. As I run, I find myself thinking about the stories and histories behind each one. I wonder about the people who built them, the families they had at home, the lives they led. I think about the people who have lived and worked in these buildings and the memories that have been made within their walls.
Take the local bakery, for instance. I’ve run by there a thousand times in my life, each time soaking up the smell of freshly-baked bread and pastries. The building seems unassuming at first, with a simple glass door and brick façade. But once you step foot inside, you’re immediately hit with the warmth of the staff and patrons. The old photos on the wall and cozy furniture that has been there since the bakery’s opening back in the 1950s—it feels like home(( These are great vivid details.)) . The bakery is everything I value about my neighborhood. It completely represents what kind of neighbor I want to be. Plus, it’s not a bad place for a post-run snack.
Through my runs, I’ve also made connections with those who frequent the sidewalks alongside me. One of the people I see regularly on my runs is Mrs. Carter, an elderly woman who always has a kind word and a smile for everyone she meets. Her white hair is carefully curled, and her face is dimpled with laugh lines from thousands of conversations like ours. She often stops to chat with me, asking how my day is going and sharing stories from her own life. I always look forward to seeing her. She’s like the grandmother I never had. Mrs. Carter inspires me to be a better community member every day(( This kind of reflection brings the focus back to the writer’s personal journey.)) .
Running through my neighborhood is about more than just staying fit. It’s also about being in community with those around me. As I weave through the people on the sidewalk, I feel as though I am weaving myself through their stories, picking up tidbits and adding them to my own narrative. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these runs that have taught me so much. I can’t wait to run across my college campus, admiring my new surroundings and meeting my new neighbors(( I like this gesture to the future—as an AO, I would start to picture this student running through my campus, too!)) .
AO Notes on Running through My Neighborhood
Running essays can get a bad rap in college admissions. But this one overcomes that stereotype. At its core, this essay is about the runner’s relationship to their community. I really appreciate how much care and enthusiasm this writer shows for those around them.
- Writing: The writer’s voice shines through. They have great vivid descriptions, and we’re really able to envision ourselves in the neighborhood alongside them.
- Personal meaning: The way the writer describes those they encounter in their neighborhood shows that this isn’t a minor part of their life. Their runs are a big deal. The people they see along the way have greatly shaped who they are.
- Greater focus on self: Now, there are much worse culprits when it comes to personal essays that focus on people other than the writer. But the writer does toe the line. Their descriptions mostly focus on those around them, and while there is some reflection that connects their own experience to other people, it doesn’t actually take up much space in the essay. To level up, the writer could make this essay more about themself.
Personal Statement Example #12: Musical Installation Art
As a child, I was always drawn to stringed instruments(( The hook could have more punch, but this gets the job done.)) . I would pluck at my dad's old guitars, create makeshift harps with dental floss, and even play around with the banjo and harp in music class. As I got older, I realized that I wanted to focus on making my own instruments. And where better to start than in my dad's scrapyard? The yard sprawled out for almost five acres behind our house. It was a marvel of junk and oddities, with the accumulated garbage from hundreds of junker cars built up in our backyard. I grew up playing there, leading a childhood that most parents would probably see as reckless—rolling tires through narrow alleyways between crushed cars stacked high. But for me, the backyard was an endless playground for my imagination.
It was there that I discovered the joys of welding and soldering. I would rummage through piles of metal and find pieces that I could fashion into something new. My first sculptures were simple, resembling birds or dogs and pieced together from strips of metal. I’d look for similar art everywhere I went, grasping for inspiration. At a fair one weekend, I saw a booth run by an artist who built guitars. After speaking with him about his art, he asked to see a picture of my sculptures. I showed him and explained that I hoped to make my own instruments one day, too. He scuttled to the back of his tent and returned with a gift: a set of thick copper strings. “Try using those,”(( What an endearing story.)) he told me.
My first sculpture instrument was a crude thing—little more than a board of metal with pegs that I used to pull the copper strings tight. But I tightened them, I was in love—spending all night plucking away. At first, the instrument wailed and screeched. String by string, I delicately tuned the wires into sirens. I had created something that played music, and I was so proud.
My experience building the instrument motivated me to enroll in a sculpture class at the local community college. It was there that I learned how to properly solder metal and create more complex structures. For my final project, I made a three-foot-tall, four-stringed metal instrument in the shape of a dragon.
But as I worked, I started to realize that my dragon wasn't going to be beautiful in the traditional sense. Its metal body was jagged and uneven, and the strings were stretched tight across its back in a way that produced discordant, almost abrasive music. I tried to adjust the tuning, but no matter what I did, the music remained harsh and unpleasant.
At first, I was disappointed. I wanted my dragon to be a work of art, something that people would marvel at and love listening to. But as I continued to play with it, I started to see the beauty in the chaos(( This paragraph shows wonderful growth. And as a reader, I’m drawn in trying to imagine what the sculpture actually looks like.)) . The music it produced was like a musical language that I had invented, one that was wild and untamed. It was a reflection of my own creativity and individuality. A discordant collection of notes that sounded like they’d been tuned so as to be atonal. But I didn't care. I was a scrapyard kid, and this dragon played the song of my people: strong, innovative, and beautiful.
The combination of sculpture and music fascinates me. How does the shape of a fabrication affect the kind of sound that the object produces? What sounds do different materials produce? As I’ve learned more about sculpture, I’ve also become interested in installation art that has sound dimensions. I want to capture people’s visual and aural attention to inspire questions about how we navigate the aesthetic world(( It sounds like this topic potentially relates to the student’s future goals. If that’s true, there could be a clearer academic connection here.)) . And I’ll use whatever scraps I can find to make my creations.
AO Notes on Musical Installation Art
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of musical installation art myself, so this topic really held my attention. I appreciate the journey the writer went on to learn that their art may not look like everyone else’s, but it can be just as impactful.
- Topic: I like this topic not only because it’s not one you see every day but also because it lets the writer reveal a lot about themself and their background. We see where they grew up and who they grew up with, and we also learn about this deeply meaningful personal interest.
- Writing style: This author has a very distinct writing style. In some ways, the writing style mirrors their art style—abrupt at times, melodic at others.
- Organization: The first half of this essay doesn’t always match up with the second half. Even though we’re still able to see the writer’s journey as a metal artist and musician, there’s still a bit of streamlining that needs to happen.
Personal Statement Example #13: Ski Patrol
I can never get enough of being in the mountains(( This hook isn’t very compelling, so it could use some more attention.)) . I am a skier through and through. Growing up, I spent countless family vacations on the slopes with my dad and siblings. I love the rush I get speeding down the mountain—I’ve improved so much over my life that I can now handle most runs I come across. But last year, I took my love for skiing to a whole other level by joining ski patrol.
It was mid-December, and my family had decided to take a weekend away to go skiing. Everything was going normally at first. We had a good day on the slopes and wanted to go one more run before calling it a night. We took a moment to rest and watched the person in front of us go. Only seconds after she headed down the mountain, something happened with her ski. She catapulted into a nearby tree. People raced to check on her, while we stayed back and alerted ski patrol.
When ski patrol arrived, I watched in amazement. They moved in such a precise way. They were like a machine—everyone knew exactly what to do when. Thankfully, it was a false alarm and the skier only had a few scratches. But my own life was changed forever. I knew then that I wanted to be a part of this team, to help others in a tangible way and to make a difference on the mountain that had always been my home.
As soon as I could, I applied for the Junior Ski Patrol team. I had to go through a tryout process on the hill, which made me nervous. But it felt good to be surrounded by people who loved skiing as much as I do. Thankfully, I was accepted shortly after; it was one of the best days of my life. Now on Junior Ski Patrol, I have the opportunity to do what I love – skiing – while also making a positive impact on others(( And here we get to the heart of the essay. The writer wants to help others while doing something they love. It’s a noble pursuit!)) . My team shadows the adult Ski Patrol, and we learn a lot of lessons along the way.
On the mountain (and in life), you never know what challenges might arise. One of the most important things I’ve learned from Junior Ski Patrol is to be prepared for anything. I’ve gotten my CPR and first aid certifications so I’m always prepared to administer life-saving care to anyone who might need it. I know how to pack a bag full of enough essentials to survive harsh weather or injuries.
But ski patrol has also taught me so much more than just how to help others. It has shown me how I work best on a team. I’m not naturally a leader, which is something I’ve always felt ashamed about. After learning from our mentors who all fulfill different roles on their adult Ski Patrol team, I realized that I don’t have to be a leader to be a good team member. The quiet collaborators who can follow the lead, take initiative when needed, and do their jobs really well are just as important as the people who are front-and-center(( An important personal insight.)) .
Being on ski patrol as a high school student has been an incredible journey, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a dedicated team. More importantly, I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced. I went from a person who just loves skiing to a person who is more confident in herself. I no longer feel unprepared or timid. I know exactly how to keep myself safe and work alongside others. While I don’t want to be a professional Ski Patroller or even go into medicine, I know these lessons will serve me well wherever life takes me(( As an AO, I would have been wondering if being on JSP made them want to study medicine, so I appreciate that they answered it for me!)) . But no matter where I end up, when the mountain calls, you know I’ll answer.
AO Notes on Ski Patrol
In this fun hobby-meets-accomplishment essay, the writer shows us their strengths of care and teamwork. I like the crossover between something that they really enjoy and this impressive accomplishment they have of being on Junior Ski Patrol.
- Lessons learned: The writer makes it very clear what lessons they learned from Junior Ski Patrol. Lessons don’t always have to be this explicit, but I appreciate how the writer really takes the time to reflect on what they’ve learned.
- Personal insight: Okay, this point is related to the lessons learned. But it’s important to draw out on its own because personal essays are, of course, personal. This topic easily could have been just about skiing down a mountain or administering first aid on patrol. Instead, the writer kept the focus inward to meet the expectations of a personal essay.
- What’s at stake?: We do get a good sense of personal meaning. But the writer could do a better job of speaking to the significance of this activity to their life. A good question to ask is, “What’s at stake?” What would I have lost or gained if this story had turned out differently? Asking these questions can also help you figure out what it is that you want an admissions officer to learn from your personal statement.
Personal Statement Example #14: The Regulars
One pump of vanilla syrup. Frothed milk. One espresso shot. Caramel drizzle(( Starting with some version of the following sentence would have been a stronger hook.)) . Like a scientist at her bench, I have methodically repeated these steps four days a week for the past two years. During my time as a Starbucks barista, I’ve learned hundreds of recipes and customizations. I know all the secret menu hacks, and I’ve developed several recipes for friends and family too. I pride myself on speed, quality, and memory. My favorite part of the job is the customer service. As one of the busiest locations in the region, I’ve caffeinated thousands. But it’s my regular customers, those whose orders I know like the back of my hand, who have truly impacted me.
Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, hold the vanilla syrup. A busy mom of four, Chelsea is always in a hurry. I try to catch her the moment she enters the store so I can get started right away. Her Venti drink fuels her through school dropoffs and pickups, gymnastics lessons, and evening math homework. Throughout my conversations with her, I’ve learned that Chelsea is a scheduling virtuoso. As someone with ADHD(( This paragraph is almost too much about Chelsea, so this sentence is crucial to bring the focus back to the writer.)) , I became so inspired by her ability to juggle so many people and schedules simultaneously. After asking her for advice, she helped me find a time management system that I can keep up with. I have Chelsea to thank for my improved grades.
Grande dark roast, no room for cream. Mr. Williams is a retired businessman who always tips 100%. Mr. Williams is a quiet man, so it took me months to draw any information from him. Instead of using my over-the-top customer service voice, I eventually learned to be myself. When I got him to open up, I discovered that he was a service worker himself before he made it big in business in his sixties. The truth is, Mr. Williams has tipped me hundreds of dollars throughout my time here, which is extra money that will help me pay for college. He’s taught me the value of quiet generosity(( Let’s be honest. Mr. Williams sounds like a cool guy. But Mr. Williams isn’t applying to college—the writer is! I like that we get small glimpses into who the writer is through this paragraph, but there’s still room for more.)) .
Tall soy London Fog. Sweet Darla gave up coffee twenty-five years ago, but she still loves an occasional treat. When Darla enters, I clear my schedule. She always has stories to tell about the eighty years of life she’s lived. Darla is everything I want to be at that age: she’s spunky, opinionated, and hilarious(( Here we learn a lot about the writer through Darla.)) . Sometimes I tell Darla stories of my own. When I explained the dramatic series of events that led to me landing first chair in my symphony, she said she was going to retell it her bridge club. Making Darla laugh so hard will always be one of my proudest moments.
Grande iced matcha. Taylor is my age and goes to my school. When I took her order for the first time, I felt embarrassed that I needed to work to support myself while she could enjoy expensive drinks. But her kindness softened me. As time went on, I learned that she visited Starbucks so much because she wanted to get out of her house, which wasn’t a very happy place. While I have to take on as many shifts as possible, I still have a happy home to return to afterward. Now Taylor comes in near the end of my shift so we can take our drinks and have dinner at my house.
When you work in customer service, customers enter and exit your life like a revolving door. But the regulars, those special people who draw connections from daily but brief interactions, stick with you for life. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for these people, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for my job as a barista. I haven’t just been making drinks these past two years. I’ve been making friends(( The conclusion does a good job tying all these different stories back together. )) .
AO Notes on The Regulars
No one appreciates a good barista story more than a tired admissions officer on their 30th application of the day! I like the personality that comes through in this essay especially. But this is one of those cases where it’s almost too much about other people.
- Creative take: Not every college essay needs a creative flair. In fact, sometimes going for “unique” structures can detract from an essay. But I like how the writer uses this format to structure the essay.
- Organization: This essay isn’t one a reader is bound to get lost in. The introduction sets up the essay well, it’s easy to see the connections between the points the writer is conveying, and the conclusion brings the focus back to the writer.
- More focus on self: While we do learn about the writer in this essay, we also learn a lot about Chelsea, Mr. Williams, Darla, and Taylor. The writer could have pared down the descriptions of other people—or cut one of the examples altogether—to save more room for personal reflection.
“Bad” Personal Statement Examples
These “bad” essays aren’t necessarily bad. They just aren’t very effective personal statements. Specifically, these two essays make some of the biggest college essay mistakes.
Making mistakes, especially when you’ve never written a personal statement before, is to be expected. We’ve included these examples so you can see what those mistakes look like in real-time. Learning from ineffective examples can be just as helpful as learning from the exceptional ones, so grab your pencil and start taking notes.
Our admissions officers have highlighted what’s working and what’s not. They offer helpful commentary and advice for revisions that you can use to assess your own personal statement.
Personal Statement Example #15: The Worst Year
My sophomore year of high school presented me with so many challenges(( This hook definitely gets straight to the point, but it doesn’t draw me in as a reader.)) . I struggled with a lot that year and barely managed to get by. It was the greatest challenge I ever faced.
The year started out like any other but soon went into chaos. My brother suddenly started struggling with drugs and alcohol. Before that, we didn’t know how bad he was hurting. But one night he finally came to us for help because apparently he had been using substances to cope with his emotions. He was scared because he felt like he had reached a breaking point and needed support. My parents didn’t want to help because they thought that he didn’t have a problem but I know my brother and I knew that he didn’t seem like himself. It was so sad to watch him go through that. I tried my best to help him but I was only a kid. I couldn’t really do anything besides tell him I loved him. Eventually my parents decided to get him some help, so he went away for a while and I wrote him letters every week and visited him as much as I could. The treatment he got helped thankfully. He’s doing better now and I am grateful that he is my brother.
But then Covid hit and I couldn’t even leave my house. We thought it would just be a two week vacation to school but it turned into two whole years of my life gone just like that. At the beginning I was stuck in my bedroom while my parents were working their jobs from the living room. Everyone was constantly getting annoyed with each other and driving each other wild. I would be doing a class Zoom in my room and I could hear my parents in a meeting in the living room. I had a hard time not being able to see my friends. I couldn't focus and my grades dropped. Even my teachers didn’t really seem to care. I was sick of staring at black Zoom screens all the time that I even stopped logging on. All of that combined led to me becoming very depressed and anxious. My grades dropped even more because I just couldn’t pay attention or focus enough to do my homework. I ended up getting grades way lower than I ever thought I would that year and I’m so frustrated about it because it felt like I was trying my best but it just wasn’t enough(( Here we see the writer opening up a bit and reflecting on what it was like to go through that experience.)) .
Even once we finally got back in school things didn’t get much better. The pandemic was just too much for my family so my parents ended up getting divorced at the beginning of my junior year. After all we had been through together seeing them separate made me devastated. My dad got an apartment and I had to go back and forth between their houses and pack up all my stuff every time. It was like moving my entire life every weekend. My brother was out of the house by this point so it was just me all by myself. My school was far from my dad’s new place so I’d have a long commute on the weeks I was with him. He was stressed at work and about the divorce and I just ended up feeling so lonely and spending most of my time in my room. My grades got better once online school stopped(( This moment of hope does a lot for moving the essay forward.)) but I had a hard time keeping close relationships with my friends because they didn’t like that I was living far away now and that we couldn’t really hang out anymore.
I couldn’t believe that two years would change so much. Getting through everything really challenged me. But I’m glad to be moving forward with my life.
AO Notes on The Worst Year
This student definitely had a challenging year. It’s clear that they’ve overcome a lot, and I appreciate their willingness to share their struggles. I like that the very last sentence
What this essay does well:
- Vulnerability: Writing about challenges is never easy, especially when you’re writing to people you don’t know. This writer is bold and unafraid in doing so.
What could be improved on:
- Not enough positivity: Here’s the thing. You definitely don’t need to be able to spin all of your challenging experiences into positive ones. But the topics you choose to write your college essay about should ultimately conclude on a positive note. You want your college essay to show you in a positive light, so you should choose a topic that lets you find a light, positive, or hopeful resolution.
Personal Statement Example #16: The Strikeout that Changed My Life
The stadium lights shone brightly in my eyes. I stepped up to the plate and drew back my bat. I wiggled my fingers, waiting. The pitcher wound up his arm and threw the ball towards me. My eyes worked overtime to track the ball. I watched as it flew directly towards the center of the plate and made a last-minute curve(( I like this vivid description.)) . It went straight into the catcher’s mitt. “Strike three!” the umpire yelled. That was the time I struck out at the quarter-finals. My team was so close to making it to the championship that we could taste it. It was the bottom of the sixth, and I gave up a valuable chance to score game-winning runs. We ended up losing. I learned a valuable lesson that fateful day. I never wanted to let my team down like that again(( And the writer jumps quickly into the main theme of the essay. Still, the message here could be more specific.)) .
We had advanced through our bracket without much trouble. The other teams were no match for our work ethic and teamwork. We were in perfect sync. As the first baseman, I was ready for any throw that came my way. We were also hitting well. I scored three home runs throughout the course of the tournament. We were a high-functioning machine. But for a machine to work, each cog has to function correctly. When I stepped up to the plate in the sixth inning, I was a broken cog.
After our quarter–final loss, I grieved with my teammates. Then I went off on my own to think. How had I let my team down so badly? How did I not even try to swing at that pitch? It was all my fault. I had to figure out what I had done wrong so I would never make the mistake again. I realized that I had been thinking selfishly. I was concerned about my own performance, my own at-bat averages(( This is a good reflection.)) . I was scared of failing because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And worrying about all of those things caused me to lose focus and miss my chance to make a difference. Instead, I should have been thinking about how my at-bat would contribute to my team’s overall goal of winning the game.
I returned to where my teammates were congregating, and several of them patted me on the back. The next day, we went over how the game went as a team and talked about how we could improve at our tournament the following weekend. I admitted that I felt like I let the team down. My teammates said that they understood and reassured me that mistakes happen. It wasn’t my failed at-bat alone that lost us the game. Like winning, losing is a team effort. It was a culmination of lots of little issues. At the end of the day, the other team just out-performed us. But we could try hard, practice a lot, and return triumphant next weekend.
Letting my team down was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. I never want to feel like that again, but I know that the experience caused me to grow. Through all of this, I learned that I have to trust myself and my team(( Here we get to the lesson learned.)) . Focusing on myself alone can only get me so far. But focusing on my team can get me to where I want to go. I’m actually thankful that I struck out in that sixth inning because it caused me to learn an important life lesson.
AO Notes on The Strikeout that Changed My Life
This essay on its own definitely isn’t “bad.” As far as essays go, it’s clear, well-written, and organized nicely. But as a college essay, it could be doing more work on the writer’s behalf. See, as an admissions officer, I don’t actually learn that much about the writer from this essay alone. I see that they like baseball, are a good teammate, and can overcome failure. Those are wonderful traits, but they don’t exactly help set this student apart on the admissions committee floor. Instead, the student could make this essay more vulnerable and personal.
- Writing: The writer uses some great creative writing skills to really set the scene for the readers. In that first paragraph, I really feel like I’m there watching the game.
- Reflection: Even though the topic could be more significant, the writer does a great job reflecting on the meaning they drew from the experience.
- Significance: It’s very clear that this topic holds a lot of meaning to the writer. But as a college essay topic, it lacks vulnerability and stakes.
Key Takeaways
Writing a personal statement is a difficult ask, especially when you’ve never even read one before. But now, with these fifteen examples in your back pocket, you’re ready to write your own.
If you’re not sure what steps to take next, hop on over to our guide to writing personal statements for advice. You can also find more extensive guidance on the Essay Academy , a comprehensive college essay writing video course and community.
Happy writing! 🥳
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- How To Write Masters Personal Statement
A strong Masters personal statement is an essential part of your postgraduate application . It is your chance to convince admissions tutors that you are the right fit for the course and deserve a place in their programme.
In this comprehensive guide on how to write a Masters personal statement in the UK, we covered everything you need to know to write a successful postgraduate personal statement. Plus, real student examples.
We really understand how challenging and stressful can be to write a personal statement for a master. Let’s start.
What is a Masters Personal Statement?
A personal statement is a written type of essay that you submit as part of your postgraduate application. It is an opportunity to introduce yourself to the university and demonstrate to admissions tutors that you are a good fit for the course. Admission tutors need to choose among lots of applicants, essay can make a big difference in your postgraduate application.
How long should a personal statement be for masters?
You should aim to write a masters personal statement of around 500 words.
However, some universities may require more, often up to 1000 words. Hence, it is important to check the application guidelines before writing your statement for a specific university and course.
How should I structure my masters personal statement?
When it comes to writing your personal statement for masters or postgraduate, it’s important to have a clear and logical structure in mind.
Starting with a strong introduction that captures the reader’s attention and explains why you’re interested in the specific Masters programme you’re applying to.
Use the following paragraphs to discuss your academic and professional background , highlighting the skills, experience and knowledge that make you a strong fit for the programme. Emphasize how the course aligns with your future career goals .
Keep in mind that you have a limited word count, so make every sentence count . Use short, concise paragraphs that are easy to read and understand.
In your personal statement conclusion, summarise why you’re the ideal candidate for the programme and leave the admission tutors with a good impression.
Keep it short and to the point.
Aim for a total of four or five paragraphs in your personal statement for master degree.
When applying for a Masters degree , use standard fonts and text size of 11 or 12. If you’re applying through UCAS postgraduate service , font style won’t be an issue as text is automatically formatted.
Question to ask before writing
Consider asking yourself the following questions before writing your personal statement for master’s degree:
- What inspired you to choose this specific Masters’s programme?
- What aspect of the subject matter excites you?
- How did your undergraduate studies shape your decision to apply for this programme or university?
- Do you have any relevant work experience that can strengthen your postgraduate application?
- What personal experiences can you share that align with your decision to apply to this programme?
- What accomplishments can you highlight that demonstrate your qualifications for this course?
- Why did you choose to apply to this university in particular?
- What are your future career goals?
Recommended reading:
- How to Write a Personal Statement: A Step-by-Step Guide for 2024 with Examples
- A Simple Guide For Students To Overcoming Challenges In Studying Abroad
- UCAS Will Replace Personal Statements in 2026: What Students Need to Know
- Impact of the COVID-19 Pandemic on student life essay
- How To Write A Personal Statement For Psychology
- How To Write A Dentistry Personal Statement
- How to Write a Personal Statement for a PhD
- 9 reasons to study in the UK
- UCAS Personal Statement: A Writing Guide And Tips For Success
- Tips for Writing a Personal Statement for the University
What should I include in a personal statement for masters?
When writing your personal statement for masters degree , it is important to tailor it to the postgraduate course you are applying for.
Some general guidance on what you should include in your personal statement for masters:
Your reasons for applying for a particular postgraduate programme and why you deserve a place above other applicants. Write about your academic interests , career goals and the university’s reputation , and write about which aspects of the specific course you find most appealing.
Address how undergraduate study has prepared you for a postgraduate course, mentioning your independent work (e.g. dissertation) and topics that most interested you.
Highlight relevant skills and experience that will enable you to make an impact on the specific course, summarising your abilities in core areas including organisation, communication, time management, and critical thinking.
You can also cover any grades, include awards, work placements, extra readings, or conferences that you’ve attended and how these have contributed to your Master’s study.
Explain your career aspirations and how the course will help you achieve them. Describe how studying your chosen course fits in with your long-term ambitions and career path.
Tie in your undergraduate studies – for example, if you did your dissertation on something and you’d like to expand on it in your master’s. Trying to link the two together is distinct from the undergraduate personal statement. Shona Barrie – Director Of Admissions, University Of Stirling
How to start a personal statement for a master?
At the start of your personal statement for a Masters’s programme , it’s important to make a strong and lasting first impression . Admissions tutors read hundreds of applications per course, so you want to make sure that your opening sentence is concise , clear , and impactful .
Instead of trying to come up with a catchy opening, focus on getting straight to the point and highlighting your qualifications for the course. Avoid over-the-top statements, gimmicks, or popular quotes as they can come across as contrived and make it harder for admissions tutors to take you seriously.
Here are a few examples of strong opening sentences to consider:
“With a background in Environmental Science and a passion for sustainable energy solutions, I am excited to apply for the Masters programme in Renewable Energy at your university.”
“As someone who has always been interested in the field of Artificial Intelligence and has gained experience in coding and machine learning, I am eager to further my studies in the Masters program in AI at your university.”
“Through my undergraduate studies in Psychology and my professional experience as a mental health counsellor, I have developed a strong interest in neuropsychology. That’s why I am excited to apply for the Masters course in Clinical Neuropsychology at your university.”
In each of these examples, you can see that the students are specific about their backgrounds, interests, and experiences, and how they align with the postgraduate programme they are applying to.
How to end a personal statement for masters
When it comes to ending your personal statement for a Masters application, it’s important to impress university admissions tutors.
Your conclusion in the master’s personal statement should be short , and to the point , and leave no doubt in the mind of the admissions tutor that you are the perfect candidate for the course.
One way to do this is by summarising your key points and highlighting how they demonstrate your qualifications for the programme. Keep it concise and avoid repeating yourself or going off-topic.
Instead, focus on making it clear why you would be a good student at the university.
To give you an idea of what a strong conclusion can include , we wrote a few examples :
“With my background in X and passion for Y, I am confident that I would thrive in the Masters programme at your university. I look forward to the opportunity to contribute to the department’s research and further my professional growth.”
“I am eager to bring my experience in X and my interest in Y to the postgraduate course at your university. The opportunity to learn from and collaborate with esteemed faculty members is truly exciting for me.”
“As someone who has always been passionate about Y and driven to make a difference in the field of Y, I am confident that the X course at your university is the perfect fit for me. I look forward to the opportunity to grow as a professional and make an impact.”
Work Experience in a personal statement for masters
Including your professional experiences in your masters personal statement can provide valuable insights into your interests and understanding of your chosen area of study.
This is especially crucial when applying for postgraduate courses, as it demonstrates your proactivity and dedication to your future academic or career goals, which universities look for in postgrad applicants.
Instead of simply listing your work experiences, it’s important to reflect on them.
Share with admission tutors not only what you did on your job but also what you learned from it and how you plan to apply those lessons in your postgraduate studies.
This highlights your ability to reflect and learn from your experiences, which is an essential skill for postgraduate students to have.
What should you avoid in a personal statement for Masters?
When writing your personal statement for a Masters courses, there are a few things to keep in mind to avoid and ensure it stands out and increases your chances of being accepted to the study programme.
- Be original: Avoid using quotes in your statement, instead use your own words and voice. This will make your essay unique and more personal.
- Avoid clichés : To make your statement stand out, avoid using templates or commonly used phrases. Instead, use your own words to express yourself.
- Keep it concise: Keep your statement to around a single page and make sure it is relevant to the programmes you are applying for.
- Be selective: Only include hobbies or experiences that are relevant to the courses you are applying for and explain why they are important to you.
- Show, don’t tell: Instead of saying you’re passionate about the subject, show it through your words and experiences.
- Tailor it: Make sure to tailor your personal statement for each programme you are applying for.
- Avoid lists: Instead of listing your qualifications, explain how they make you a strong candidate for the masters programme.
- Proofread: Before submitting your application, make sure to proofread your personal statement for any errors or typos, and double-check that it is for the correct programme and university. It is always a good idea to get help from professionals, to check grammar and proofreading.
By following our guidelines on what to avoid, you can ensure that your personal statement is clear, concise, and tailored to the programme you’re applying for. Increasing your chances of being accepted.
Difference between personal statements for postgraduate and undergraduate
A personal statement for postgraduate study and one for undergraduate study are similar in that they both serve as a way for you to introduce yourself and demonstrate your qualifications , but there are some key differences to keep in mind when writing each .
For postgraduate study , personal statements tend to be more specific and targeted . Instead of providing a broad overview of your interests and experiences, you should focus on how your background, skills, and goals align with the specific courses and field of study you’re applying to.
This requires you to do more research on the programme and its entry requirements, and you should highlight how you will be able to contribute to the university and chosen programme.
Postgraduate personal statements require a more detailed explanation of your academic and professional experience. This could include discussing your previous coursework, research experience, and any relevant work or internship experience, and how they have prepared you for masters study.
Also, you will need to mention in a postgraduate personal statement your long-term goals and career aspirations in more detail. This will give the admissions tutors a sense of how you plan to use the learnings from the programme to achieve your career goals.
Lastly, master’s personal statements tend to be shorter than undergraduate ones, usually around 500 words. It is assumed that as postgraduate students have more academic and professional experience, they do not need as much space to prove their worthiness.
While a personal statement for undergraduate study can be more broad and general, a personal statement for postgraduate study should be more focused, specific, and tailored to the course you’re applying for.
Other useful guides for reading:
- How to Get Into UK University Without A-Levels
- How to Get into LSE: Simple Guide and Tips Follow
- Is the University of York Good?
- How to Get Into the University of York
- The Best Oxford Colleges For Students in 2024
- Top 10 Best Colleges at York University
- University of York Acceptance rate
- 12 Reasons Why King’s College London Is a Good Choice
- Getting into King’s College London: A Detailed Guide With Tips
- University Of Sheffield Acceptance Rate
- The Best Non-Russell Group Universities in 2024
- Cambridge Interview Guide: Dates, Questions, & Offers 2024
- How to Get into Oxford University: Top 12 Tips for 100% Success
- Cracking the Oxford Interview: A Comprehensive Guide 2024
- The Best Oxford Colleges For Law: Comparing Top 6
Masters personal statement example
I am eager to pursue a Master’s Degree in Finance as I believe it aligns perfectly with my career goals. The programme’s academic rigour and focus on corporate finance, coupled with its practical relevance to the current industry, make it the ideal choice for me. My background in the financial services industry, combined with my undergraduate studies in Electronics and Communications Engineering and my postgraduate diploma in Marketing and Finance, have prepared me well for this next step in my education.
I have a strong passion for problem-solving, mathematics, and analytical thinking, and I am eager to apply these skills within the field of finance. I believe that a Master’s Degree in Finance from your esteemed university will provide me with the necessary theoretical knowledge and practical experience to excel in the industry. I am particularly interested in gaining an in-depth understanding of current techniques and developments in finance, financial applications, and financial markets, as well as honing my research skills.
My ultimate goal is to secure a challenging and rewarding role within the finance profession. I understand that there is still much for me to learn, but I am excited to embrace new challenges and become a valuable contributor to the field. I am confident that this program will provide me with the knowledge and skills necessary to achieve my career goals.
Read other personal statement examples .
Research Course You’re Applying
It’s essential to research the programme and demonstrate your understanding of the field you are entering. This will show the admissions tutors that you are well prepared for the course and have a clear vision for your future research, study and goals.
One way to present your familiarity with the field is by mentioning specific scholars and researchers who work in the department.
You can find this information on the university’s website, and by reviewing the research interests and publications of the faculty members.
By aligning your interests with those of the faculty members, you can show that your research will fit well within the department and that you have a clear understanding of the master’s degree programme.
It’s also important to avoid generic statements such as applying to the school because it is the highest ranking or because you love the city where it is located.
If you have already contacted a professor or faculty member in the department, make sure to mention it in your personal statement. This will show that you have taken the initiative to learn more about the programme and that you are eager to work with the department’s faculty.
What admissions tutors are looking for a master’s application?
One of the main things that admissions tutors are looking for is an explanation of how the course links your past and future. They want to see that you have a clear understanding of how the programme aligns with your interests , goals , and career aspirations .
This can be demonstrated through your academic and non-academic experiences, as well as your skills, commitments, and enthusiasm for the field – we already discussed this in detail in previous parts of this guide.
Admissions tutors also want to see that you have a solid understanding of the institution’s area of expertise. This means showing that you have done your research on the university’s research focus and facilities, and how they align with your research interests.
Other than that, they want to see evidence of your knowledge and genuine interest in the subject, perhaps including some academic references or readings.
Another key element that admissions tutors are looking for is evidence of your abilities, commitment, and enthusiasm.
Deadline For Postgraduate Applications
The deadline for postgraduate applications in the UK can vary depending on the university and programme to which you are applying.
Some universities may have a fixed deadline while others may have rolling deadlines. It is important to check the specific deadline for the universities and courses you are interested to study. The UCAS postgraduate deadline is usually around the end of March, however, it’s always a good idea to verify with the university you are applying for.
It is also worth noting that some universities may have an earlier deadline for international students or certain programmes, so it is important to check the deadline for your specific situation.
Final Thoughts
A strongly written personal statement is an essential part of your postgraduate application. It is your chance to demonstrate your academic interests, abilities and goals, and demonstrate that you are a good fit for the course.
Remember to tailor your statement to the course you are applying for, be concise, and focus on your strengths and how they align with the programme.
When it comes to applying for a Masters’s programme, the process is often different than that of undergraduate studies in the UK. Probably you will be submitting your application directly to the university. However, it is worth noting that UCAS Postgraduate, a service provided by UCAS , has a search tool for limited master’s programmes.
Most UK universities require a personal statement when applying to a masters degree programme. However, some universities instead have a predefined set of questions for applicants.
You can submit a personal statement to as many universities as you are applying to for your Masters degree.
No, but if you have any questions regarding university programmes for masters, you can contact the admission manager and discuss.
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September 22, 2020
Mature – Personal Statements
Whether you apply through a UCAS application, or through the Mature Learner entry scheme, you will need to write a personal statement.
This is a body of text where you describe your skills and experience and how this makes you an ideal candidate for the course you’re applying for.
Your personal statement is often the only way that admissions officers get to see the person behind the application and it’s your chance to impress. We want you to demonstrate that you are passionate about your chosen subject area and that you’ve done your research and are fully informed about the area you want to go into. Watch this video to find out more, or keep reading below.
We expect you to talk about your experience that relates to the field in question. For example, if you’re applying for an Occupational Therapy course, you may mention your experience of working in a caring capacity such as work experience in a hospital or a care home. If you’re applying for Business, you may mention your experience of being involved in the business admin or accounting side of your job.
As a Mature Student, you may have been out of education for a while. Use this to your advantage and discuss how your time out has given you real-world experience in the world of work. Don’t worry about trying to sound too academic – as long as your writing is professional and grammatically correct you will be fine. Don’t feel pressured to use longer words, a concise personal statement which is clear and easy to read is best. A piece of writing that is difficult to read or understand is not a good way to introduce yourself.
There are lots of ways you can structure your personal statement and there are lots of online tools to help you get started. I’ve listed some below
https://www.ucas.com/undergraduate/applying-university/how-write-ucas-undergraduate-personal-statement
https://www.ucas.com/sites/default/files/ucas-personal-statement-worksheet.pdf
https://www.ucas.com/undergraduate/applying-university/writing-personal-statement/introducing-personal-statement-tool
TOP TIPS
- Don’t lie or exaggerate
- Don’t plagiarise – we use tools to check how similar your personal statement is to others. This is a historic tool, so has a bank of personal statements from previous years.
- Don’t use quotes, humour or get too opinionated
- Don’t rely on spellchecker – make sure you have other people read it and check your spelling and grammar. If you need more help, Grammarly is a really good app to use (it s free)
- Don’t leave it until the last minute – you’ll need to do multiple drafts, and ask someone at your college or someone you trust to read it through and give you feedback.
If you want more support with your personal statement, please email [email protected]
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Computing personal statement example example (mature student).
I’m applying for this course because I love computers, gadgets and technology and spent my life playing and learning to see what I can do! I’m being made redundant from my career in banking where I’ve been for the last 10 years. I had to drop out of education when I was 17 to go into full time work so this is my opportunity to pick up what I enjoy but was unable to carry on with years ago, and it’s a chance to shape it into a new future!
My interest in computers started around the age of 5 when my Grandpa gave me a ZX Spectrum. My earliest memories of it were learning to load games from cassette tapes and entering simple commands. I’ve always wanted to understand how computers work. It’s not enough for me to just learn how to do something, I want to know why it works that way. It’s become a hobby to experiment with computers - discovering the internet in the 90s, customising Windows, learning HTML and designing websites, setting up networks, trying different operating systems and building computers - all kinds of things that I’ve wanted to play around with just for fun.
For the last 10 years, I’ve been working for Halifax bank in various roles, with the last four years in management positions. My main activities have been dealing with customer queries and transactions, building knowledge of processes and regulations, managing a team of staff and supporting my team to adapt to changes in the systems and processes we use.
While working, I’ve been keen to carry on learning skills which would help me in my role. I studied a year long management training course accredited by Leeds University to help me build the skills I needed to change role at work. This helped me to learn good organisational and time management skills which I use when running my branch to make sure that all essential tasks are completed while fitting in day to day activities.
Last year, I studied an ifs Level 3 course in banking regulation. While this wasn’t needed as a manager, it was something I wanted to do so that I had a better understanding of the wider banking industry and how regulation affects my day to day role. I completed this outside of work, planning study time each week to complete the mix of reading and research required before taking the exams.
Returning to full time study will be a big change for me, but my situation in leaving work allows me to give it all my effort. While working, I’ve continued to study through different courses and I’ve also been studying with the Codecademy website over the past 6 months to refresh my skills in coding HTML and gain an introduction to other languages such as Javascript and Ruby. I’ve visited the University open evenings to meet staff and students to find out more about the course and how my knowledge fits in with the expected level. It’s left me confident that my experience of continued study and knowledge of hardware, programming and the industry as a whole will put me in a good place to start this degree.
My aim in applying for this course is that I want to start a new career in IT doing the things I love. While I’ve always had a passion for computing, I’ve been limited with what I could do without qualifications and proper training. I really want to use this time at University to make the most of the course and the experience I can gain so that I can go on in a strong position to get into the kind of work I’ve always wanted to do.
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Author's Comments
I used this as my personal statement for applying for a 2 year foundation degree in computing, which has an extra one year top up to a full honours degree.
I'd applied for Blackburn College University Centre (Accredited by Lancaster University), and Preston UCLAN.
So far, not heard back from UCLAN! But Blackburn invited me for an interview as a mature student and offered me an unconditional place.
I'm 31, been working full time since I was 18 but now being made redundant, so going to Uni to retrain and go into a new career.
This personal statement is unrated
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This personal statement was written by Chocoholic for application in 2005. Chocoholic's university choices University of Leeds. Green: offer made Red: no offer made. Chocoholic's Comments. I am a mature student so found writing this extremely difficult! Had no teachers to help me so just had to do my best on my own - fingers crossed now. Ratings
This personal statement was written by sjh101 for application in 2011. sjh101's university choices University College London Imperial College London University of Surrey University of Southampton. Green: offer made Red: no offer made. Degree Engineering at Cambridge University. Ratings. Statement rating: Related Personal Statements
So far, not heard back from UCLAN! But Blackburn invited me for an interview as a mature student and offered me an unconditional place. I'm 31, been working full time since I was 18 but now being made redundant, so going to Uni to retrain and go into a new career. Ratings. This personal statement is unrated. Related Personal Statements