if i were a rich woman essay

If I Were A Millionaire Essay

500 words if i were a millionaire essay.

Money is a crucial necessary element without which survival is unfeasible. One cannot compare money with love and care because both are equally essential for our life to sustain happily. Each part has its significance and plays a different role. Every person on earth wishes to become a millionaire and change their prevailing conditions to offer a better future for themselves. I dream of becoming a millionaire so that I can provide things for my family, which they have always longed for.

If I were a Millionaire

I belong to a middle-class family. My mother, father, elder sister, and I are four of us. My parents have always supported us and given us all that was possible for them. I could see the struggle behind their smile and happiness, but they never said anything. We live in a small house, trying to adjust ourselves to the restricted space. So, the first thing I will buy is a big house with a vast garden and a balcony. My father loves painting, so I would buy him expensive canvas board, paints and brushes and tell him to paint the best picture he could ever imagine. Since my mother loves plants, I would help her set up the garden of her dreams.

My sister is into makeup and styling, so I would shop enough to give her all she desires. Also, I would buy a car for us and travel across the nation. A trip to Disneyland and a Europe tour would be booked for the four of us. Moreover, I would visit Japan, the country I have been eyeing for years. In the words of H. Jackson Brown Jr, “Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.” I completely subscribe to the statement, as giving increases our chances to receive goods in abundance. So that money that comes pouring to me should be showered on the people who require them the most.

Future minds need to comprehend and value what they get from nature and their role as givers. Medical treatment is the most expensive thing in India because people die. So, I would build a hospital catering to the needs of the underprivileged and needy section of our society and ensure that they receive treatment without any bias at a cheap cost. Furthermore, I would open a school where practical learning holds more substance than rote learning. This school will provide education to poor children who cannot afford admission to regular schools.

I will provide basic amenities to the remote areas. I would even erect schools in rural areas where the children of farmers learn while working in the fields. Schools and a free library will be opened to access various books in different languages. In such a way, they will have a pool of diverse knowledge. The nursing homes and orphanages will be donated money as and when required. The people who face unemployment will be provided financial aid until they get stable and find a job.

For me, to become a millionaire requires dedication and belief in myself. I need to work hard to achieve what I want in my life. Simply wishing and not displaying actions won’t suffice. Therefore, I should pray harder and study well to help others. In doing so, I need to set up a business of my own to keep on going and doing what I desire for others. Lastly, I don’t want to exist and make a living; I want to make a life by what I give. By being a millionaire, my objective will be to utilise my wealth in the interest of society.

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‘Essential Essays’ Show Adrienne Rich’s Vulnerable, Conflicted Sides

By Parul Sehgal

• Sept. 10, 2018
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“What does a woman need to know?”

In 1979, Adrienne Rich delivered one of history’s spicier commencement speeches, at Smith College, opening with this question.

Her answer: How could you possibly decide? Four years at Smith won’t have helped you. “There is no women’s college today which is providing young women with the education they need for survival.” Colleges exist to groom women to conform as best they can to institutions rigged against them, to subsist on fantasies of exceptionalism, she said. Colleges exist to produce tokens. Congratulations, graduates .

The speech still heats the blood. Smith College may not have been up to the task of creating liberated women in 1979, but the school of Adrienne Rich was grandly, manifestly in session.

Over the course of 50 years, Rich, who died at 82 in 2012 , produced two dozen books of poetry and six volumes of prose — less a body of work than a bank of knowledge on gender and power, obedience and eros, the politics of motherhood. She wrote indelibly about the racial consciousness of white women, and of her own childhood:

“I grew up in white silence that was utterly obsessional. Race was the theme whatever the topic.”

“Essential Essays” brings together a sampling of Rich’s influential criticism, personal accounts and public statements, including her speech at Smith. “To reread and to rethink Rich’s prose as a complete oeuvre is to encounter a major public intellectual: responsible, self-questioning and morally passionate,” the book’s editor, Sandra M. Gilbert, writes.

Most of the pieces here are canonical: “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence”; “Split at the Root,” in which she reckons with her Jewishness and her father’s drive to assimilation; selections from “Of Woman Born,” her landmark study of the evolution of motherhood as an institution and ideology “more fundamental than tribalism or nationalism.”

The book reveals how private reckonings bloomed into public stances. Included is Rich’s statement upon refusing the National Medal for the Arts from President Clinton. “The very meaning of art, as I understand it, is incompatible with the cynical politics of this administration,” she wrote. “A president cannot meaningfully honor certain token artists while the people at large are so dishonored.”

That word keeps cropping up: “token.” It’s talismanic to Rich (other words she loves include “drenched” and “sleepwalking”). Although she writes powerfully of her Jewishness and her experience of motherhood, this aspect of her identity — of being the exceptional woman, of being establishment-approved — provokes her most fluent and furious prose. It was, after all, the story of her childhood.

Rich was born on the cusp of the Great Depression, to a former concert pianist and a doctor, who took a fanatical interest in her development as a poet. Her father, she said, fancied himself a “Papa Brontë,” with “geniuses for children.” Her early work had the gloss of the clever, dutiful daughter, the reserve, as she wrote of Virginia Woolf, of a woman accustomed to being overheard and evaluated by men. She was only an undergraduate when her collection “A Change of World” won the Yale Younger Poets prize in 1950. W.H. Auden supplied a legendarily patronizing foreword: The poems, he wrote, are “neatly and modestly dressed, speak quietly but do not mumble, respect their elders but are not cowed by them, and do not tell fibs.”

Rich married and bore three children before the age of 30. Motherhood radicalized her. “I began at this point to feel that politics was not something ‘out there’ but something ‘in here’ and of the essence of my condition.” She became troubled by the ways she “suppressed, omitted, falsified even, certain disturbing elements, to gain that perfection of order” in her early work. The next book, “Snapshots of a Daughter-in-Law” — “jotted in fragments during children’s naps, brief hours in a library, or at 3 a.m. after rising with a wakeful child” — was a departure in style and subject, written with free meter and bared teeth.

Rich left her husband and flung herself into antiwar and antiracist activism. She began a lifelong relationship with the Jamaican-born novelist and poet Michelle Cliff. In her transformation, some saw the evolution of American women in the 20th century: “from careful traditional obedience to cosmic awareness,” wrote the critic Ruth Whitman.

Others were less enchanted. “I don’t know what happened,” Elizabeth Hardwick tutted. “She got swept too far. She deliberately made herself ugly and wrote those extreme and ridiculous poems.”

This is the usual charge levied at Rich — that she was more polemicist than poet. These essays tell a different story. We see how frequently, and powerfully, she wrote from her divisions, the areas of her life where she felt vulnerable, conflicted and ashamed.

“ I’m not able to do this yet.” “Nothing has trained me for this.” “I feel inadequate.” “My ignorance can be dangerous to me and to others.” All these sentiments appear in one paragraph of “Split at the Root.” But then, Rich gathers herself; she persists: “We can’t wait to speak until we are perfectly clear and righteous. There is no purity and, in our lifetimes, no end to this process.” For her, a thinking life, a political commitment, does not mean achieving perfect awareness — call it wokeness or whatever else — but embarking on “a long turbulence.” It is a perpetual “moving into accountability,” never an arrival. “By 1956, I had begun dating each of my poems by year. I did this because I was finished with the idea of a poem as a single, encapsulated event,” she wrote. “I knew my life was changing, my work was changing, and I needed to indicate to readers my sense of being engaged in a long, continuing process.”

These essays are as close as we will get to Rich for the time being. Many of her letters are sealed until 2050, and she left instructions to family and friends not to cooperate with any full-length biographies.

It’s not intimacy that these pieces afford; as much as Rich tells us, there is more that she conceals, especially about her private life — the apparent suicide of her husband, the years with Cliff. But it is a peerless pleasure to join her in the “long turbulence,” to think alongside her. I once read that a blue whale’s arteries are so large that an adult human could swim through them. That’s what entering these essays feels like — to flow along with the pulses of Rich’s intelligence, to be enveloped by her capacious heart and mind.

Follow Parul Sehgal on Twitter: @parul_sehgal .

Essential Essays: Culture, Politics, and the Art of Poetry By Adrienne Rich Edited and with an introduction by Sandra M. Gilbert 411 pages. W. W. Norton & Company. $27.95.

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Essay on “If I Were A Millionaire” Complete Essay for Class 10, Class 12 and Graduation and other classes.

If I Were A Millionaire

6 Best Essays on ” If I Were a Millionaire”

Essay No. 01

We have often heard old people advise the young ones not to indulge in wasteful talk about the past and future by quoting the following lines from H.W. Longfellow:

“Trust no future, however pleasant, Let the dead past bury its dead. Act, act in the living present, Heart within and God overhead.

But there will hardly be a man or woman who has never indulged in daydreaming. It may be sheer wastage of time but this at least shows some of the ambition of a man.

If I were to become a millionaire, I shall use the money in my own way. Do you think that I shall have a luxurious air-conditioned bungalow to take repose in, a big limousine to take me from one place to another, several servants to attend to me and be at my back and call every moment? My answer to all this would be an emphatic “No.”

India is a poor country. There are many people in India who can’t get two square meals a day, not to mention the comforts and luxuries of life. They don’t have even a very small room where they can find a response. They don’t have clothes to perfect themselves from the chilly winter. Though the Government has opened a few night shelters, they are insufficient; therefore, I will open more night shelters.

I find that many people still die for want of proper medical aid. I would therefore open a dispensary for the poor. This will save them from the jaws of death.

Many people particularly villagers have no means of recreation. I will open socio-cultural centers at such places for their recreation. I will open orphanages and widow houses for the orphans and windows. They will live and work there in an honorable manner. Through the Government has tried its best to open secondary and primary schools in almost every village of the country, little progress seems to have been made in the direction of adult education. It is a Herculean task. I will close three or four villages for this purpose. I would provide the necessary establishment there and intensity the adult literacy program.

There are still certain villages where the villagers have not yet been able to free themselves from the clutches of the village moneylender who always charges an exorbitant rate of interest on the money, he lends to them. So I shall start a co-operative society to feed a few villages which are situated near to each other. The Society will lend money to the poor farmers. Besides money, it will supply them with good manure and fertilizer.

This is how I will make use of my money if I become a millionaire. There will be people who will jeer and mock me for my foolishness of spending my money in this manner but they perhaps do not realize that the inner happiness and man get out of helping the poor and needy is something which is far more valuable than the sensual pleasures that a man can purchase from the money he has.

Essay No. 02

If I were a Millionaire

The modem age is a materialistic age. Virtually; there is a rule of money all over the world. In reality, almost everybody is after money whatever he may profess to be or profess to do.

It need not be stressed that now everybody wants to become a millionaire. Normally, it is very difficult for a poor man to become a millionaire. But there are certain channels and means such as a jackpot lottery, G.K. Competitions, literary and other prizes, etc. which can make even a pauper realize his dream of becoming a millionaire if he is lucky.

In the normal course, I cannot think of becoming a millionaire. It can happen only if I get some lucky stroke. But I have the power of imagination and I can become a millionaire at least in my imagination.

If I were a millionaire, I’d use my wealth most judiciously and that for positive purposes for me and my family and for others. I’d help the poorest children to get an education. I’d pay for their books, fees, healthcare, and even food and clothing, if necessary.

I’d open dispensaries and schools in rural areas. I’d start a chain of factories to increase industrialism and provide employment to thousands of unemployed meritorious young men and women.

I’d provide a park for children in my own locality. I’d help all my poor relations and acquaintances. I’d help the Municipal Committee of my town to arrange sewerage in the whole town.

I’d donate liberally for all kinds of victims such as floods, famine, cyclones, earthquakes, communal riots, terrorism, etc. And even more than that, I’d not hesitate in doing social service with my own hands irrespective of the amount of wealth and luxuries I may have.

Essay No. 03

If I Were a Millionaire

Millions and millions of people in India live from hand to mouth. They are below the poverty line and somehow keep their bodies and souls together. A few of the Indians are millionaires and multi-millionaires. They can be counted on your fingers. But I wonder how did they get so much wealth, and how do they manage all their fabulous wealth. No doubt money begets money, but it is not easy to earn wealth. It is still more difficult to use money properly. Many people get spoiled because of their wealth. They acquire bad habits like gambling, drinking, womanizing, etc. There are family feuds, fights, and quarrels because of the wealth. Money is power but power is said to corrupt people, if not properly managed and handled.

The idea of becoming one of the millionaires of the country is very exciting. But how can I get so much money is a big question. Perhaps by winning a couple of bumper lottery prizes. That is the only way of my becoming a millionaire overnight. What a daydreaming indeed! But what should I do with millions of rupees won through lotteries? The question makes me think over the matter for some time. I would like to consult my parents, friends, and well-wishers in the matter. But would it not be, like, counting one’s chickens before the eggs are hatched. They would think that I had gone mad. Therefore, I would confine the matter to myself and plan to utilize the money as best as I can.

If I were to possess millions of rupees overnight, first of all, I would purchase a good one-storied house with sufficient open space, lawns, and a garden for my parents. I belong to a lower-middle-class family. My father is a government servant and on the verge of retirement. All his life he has been struggling hard to give me and my elder brother and younger sister the best possible education and care. My mother is a simple, god-fearing housewife. Her love has been a great inspiration and treasure for all of us. Therefore, I would like that my parents live happily in comfort and ease, in a good house, for the rest of their life. I would employ a full-time maidservant to help my mother with her work. Then, I shall see that my sister and elder brother are provided well with their requirements. My brother is in English honors (B.A.), and very fond of books. I shall purchase a number of books of his choice and make a nice study and library for him. My sister is still young and she is fond of dolls and toys. I shall purchase these for her.

I would like to go on a Bharat Darshan with my parents. India is such a vast country full of great historical monuments, fascinating sea-shores, hill stations, centers of tourist interest, and places of pilgrimages. I shall tour the entire country and have first-hand experience of the land, the people, and the places. My parents are very devout and pious. I shall take them to centers of famous pilgrimages for their pleasure and satisfaction. Next, I would like to give a number of scholarships to the needy and meritorious students at the school level. I know many students in my school who are very intelligent, industrious and brilliant in their studies, but very poor. They cannot afford to buy even textbooks, let alone help and reference books. I have seen them shivering in winter for want of woolens. I would supply them with these necessities. A portion of my lottery prize I would put in a fixed deposit in a bank and with its interest, the boys and girls would be given stipends and scholarships.

I would not like it that my money gets less and less with the passage of time. I would see that it increases day by day and then it is used for good purposes. Keeping this in view I intend to establish a factory producing some such articles which can easily be exported to foreign countries. Thus, the factory would employ a number of skilled and semi-skilled workers and earn valuable foreign exchange for the country. I would also see that the workers of my factory are looked after well. They shall have proper housing, medical, entertainment, and educational facilities for themselves and their children. Further, they would be allowed to share the profits of the company by participating in its share capital and management. Thus, there would be no labor problem. With the profits of the factory, I shall open a number of free dispensaries, libraries, and schools for the public. I shall also try to fulfill the moral and religious needs of the society by building temples, water-huts for the summer season, and a big Dharamshala or a rest house. This will please my parents in no small measure. They are so religious, compassionate, and kind by nature. Thus, if I come to possess millions of rupees by winning a couple of lottery prizes, my main object will be to utilize the money in the above manner for the good of the people and my parents and family. In my opinion, these are some of the best constructive ways and means to utilize the unexpected great fortune I may come to possess. May God grant me this huge fortune and bless my above plans.

Essay No. 04

Money is the most sought-after commodity of today. A poor man is of no importance to society. His pains and difficulties are ignored by everyone around him. On the other hand, a rich man is treated with consideration and courtesy. He is respected and his whims are obeyed instantaneously. The world is at his beck and call. The law thinks twice before punishing him. There is an opinion that a rich man can commit no crime.

It is therefore not surprising that to become rich is the sole aim of people today. I also dream of becoming rich and influential. I also want to feel the pleasure of being served by those very people who once looked down upon me. I want to experience the power of money.

If I were to become a millionaire, I would first of all think of ways and means to spend the money in such a manner so as to generate more money. I would invest it in real estate because the prices of the property are increasing every day. Next, I would spend some money on buying the latest designer clothes. I would buy the latest model car in the market. I would buy a bigger house. I would refurbish my house and make it very luxurious. I will hire the best help and make them do my bidding. I would walk into the up-market stores and behave very snobbishly with the people there.

I would then travel abroad, especially to the USA and England. With my money, I am sure that the embassy staff will not dare to refuse to issue me a visa. Once abroad I will look down upon all those white men who generally look down upon us Indians.

After I have enjoyed all the comforts the money can buy to my heart’s content, I will build a charitable hospital with an ultra-luxurious ward for the rich. I will charge an exorbitant amount from them and spend the profit on the charitable wards of the hospital

I will thus try to pay back all those people who treat middle-class and poor people with contempt in their own coin.

Essay No. 05

Million rupees is quite a big sum, even when the rupee is so much devalued. Oh! How wonderful it would be if I were ever to get a million rupees and what, yes, what would I do with it. Just let me think and make out my plans for, one never knows when Lady Luck comes and knocks at my door and I am found napping. So let me put on my thinking cap and start, yes start.

If I were a millionaire, would life have to change for me? Would I spend it all on myself and my family? But, how would I do that, I already have all that I want for a comfortable and happy living, how and what would I add? Could then I will be in a position to help others in need, with that money, as, with a million to spare, I could render a lot of help to several people in need.

Yes, yes, that is the moot point would I spare it or take it as if it was my earning and cling to it as, we all cling to hard-earned money for it was to be in reality my earning, the earning of my luck, if not my hard work. However, in better moments I’d think I manage to fulfill all my needs with the normal income what can I do with an extra amount of money, and that also so much of it. Oh! I’m confused and I cannot visualize what would be right for me to do in the very circumstance.

Come on, come out of the labyrinth of confusing thoughts, it is really difficult to plan expenditure of an unexpectedly huge amount of money that’s true but, I remember I have some specific plans which have been eating dust due to lack of money reserves, now is the time to fructify those very plans. I have some plans which would only be possible if God would bless me with a gift of such money that I could conveniently spare. Such money, I would love to use more for the benefit of others than for the fulfillment of my desires

This is because I know that the desires of man are unlimited and unending. No matter how much we have, we can never feel satiated. But God is great and He has given me the satisfaction in as much as I have, and this money I would definitely like to spend for the benefit of others.

I would spend all this money as my contribution towards man’s basic needs. A storehouse of knowledge would be constructed in the shape of a public library, at the doors of which, poor people would get educated. This education may not be in the form of a formal kind but this education would help in making the poor, moral and self-reliant. This library would have books that, besides knowledge, would also give the readers insight into their behaviors. I would also start for the poor only some vocational centres where they would be taught skills by virtue of which, they would, at a later stage be able to earn a livelihood.

The plight of the poor sick in our country is absolutely heart-rending. I would like to ensure the treatment of the urban poor in good, well-established hospitals. This would be financed by me for at least a few patients.

In today’s fast-moving and uncaring society, I feel that the old people have a very sad and dejected life. Old age homes for the poor old would also find a place of priority in my list of services I would like to render. The plight of the old makes my heart cry and I wish I can do something for them. If I ever get a big amount of money to spare, establishing old age homes would find a place in my list of services.

So, if I were to become a millionaire these items would remain in the top priority of expenditure. Why I chose these areas of service – the cause is not far to see these are the areas that have remained untouched by anyone safe and they are the greatest sufferers in today.

As far as I am concerned, I feel, I may take a short holiday with my family, and that is all I’ll spend on myself, as, the rest of it all, I’ve got it all. I would love to be, of some little use to someone else, some of my less lucky brethren. So, if I ever become a millionaire, I would spend all the money on my comrades for, I genuinely believe they have a share in all that God gives me.

Essay No. 06

If I Became A millionaire

It has been said that “If wishes were horses, even beggars would ride”. However, it is wonderful to have wishes. Even though our wishes may not come true there is no harm in dreaming. I often dream that I have become a crorepati. I am not a “poor” man but I would like to have so much money that I could do something for those who are less fortunate than me. I do not see any harm in having every luxury for myself if in turn, I can do something worthwhile for the poor.

It has been my dream to see each child well-nourished. When I see children on the streets with no food, I feel a great sense of pain. Although their parents try their best, they cannot provide their children with food, clothing, and shelter. Then they turn to beg. They live in pathetic conditions. They do not get an education and continue to live in the darkness of ignorance.

If I were an arabpati I would do my best to provide permanent shelter, food, and clothing for the poor. I would open schools for them where the children could learn all that I have learned in my school. I would help them to be so independent that they can find fruitful employment for themselves in the future.

Besides this, I would build hospitals so as to provide them with good medical facilities. India has progressed a lot and we do have some good medical facilities but the poor people cannot afford these. If a poor child is sick, there is every possibility that he may die due to the lack of medicines and doctors. I would like to build a hospital with modern facilities where people will get medical assistance free of cost. I would donate money to social service organisations like destitute homes, orphanages, homes for the aged, and reformatories. When one becomes extremely rich, one tends to forget the plight of those who are less fortunate. My motto would be, “live and let live”.

In fact, I would do all that I could for my parents too so that they may not have to break their backs working for us. I would make them so comfortable that even in their old age they would feel great to be alive. I would like to enjoy the fruits of money but I would always remain sensitive and sympathetic to the agony of those who are less fortunate. In fact, I would use my riches to serve humanity and make this world a better place to live in.

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June 08, 2012

What i would do if i were rich, 13 comments:.

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If I Were a Rich Man Could I Buy a Pancreas? and Other Essays on the Ethics of Health Care

Georgia State University Atlanta

This article is only available in the PDF format. Download the PDF to view the article, as well as its associated figures and tables.

This text is an anthology composed of 19 articles, all written by Arthur L. Caplan. Seventeen of the articles reprint material published in other sources between 1982 and 1989. The two remaining essays are written especially for this volume; they are "Mapping Morality: Ethics and the Human Genome Project" (chapter 8), and "Can Autonomy Be Saved?" (chapter 16).

All articles in Caplan's anthology are loosely grouped under six topic headings. Part I is entitled "The Nature of Applied Ethics" and contains two chapters. Part II includes four chapters under the title "Ethical Issues in Animal and Human Experimentation." The remaining four topic headings are as follows: Part III, "Advances in Reproduction and Genetics" (two chapters); Part IV, "Transplants and Other Unnatural Acts" (three chapters); Part V, "Aging, Chronic Illness, and Rehabilitation" (five chapters); and Part VI, "Money, Medicine, and Morality" (three chapters).

Anyone familiar with Caplan's work knows that it

Humber JM. If I Were a Rich Man Could I Buy a Pancreas? and Other Essays on the Ethics of Health Care. JAMA. 1993;269(19):2561. doi:10.1001/jama.1993.03500190105051

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• What would I do if I were rich essay in English | If I Was Rich Essay

What would I do if i were rich essay in English | If I Was Rich Essay 

What would I do if i were rich essay in English | If I Was Rich Essay :- Everybody has various and different dreams in life, just like that I have also various dreams in my life, all this will become possible if I were become a rich man. What would I do if i were rich essay in English | If I Was Rich Essay.

For My Family:-

If I were become a rich man I will do lots of good thing for my family, I will take them to the world tour, every day I will make my family feel special, I will provide a food, shelter and cloths to the poor peoples.

I will purchased a sports cars and bikes, its every boys dreams to ride luxury cars and bikes and go for long drive with my friends.

I will also purchase a house for me and my family, and there will be a garden and beside there will be a swimming pool and parks.

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I will help the society peoples by creating a various jobs in society and give them employment; in today world unemployment is the main reason of crises. I want to see a smile on the face of society peoples and I want to become the example of successful person at society. I will also donate some amount in favour of the poor peoples.

I will also donate some good amount to the school, when I was kid I have face so many difficulties / problem at hot sunny day no fan, less table, and chair etc but now I in today’s world I don’t to see child is facing this issue.

I will also invest some money in new innovative ideas to promote start ups, I would also do some good thing for the talented sports players and help them to achieve their goal.

Helping the poor peoples

I will open the school for the poor people’s children, because education is the only way that help them to develop their skill, peoples become poor because of inadequate knowledge also provide mid day meal for the them.

Organize Sports game for the Children

Every year will organize a sports game for the children and encourage them to participate on that game and give a gift to the winner children, all these possible if I were become rich.

At the end of the if i were rich essay, we should donate some amount in favour of the poor peoples, because your small amount can help the poor peoples to light their house and bring a happiness on their face.

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If I Were a Rich Man

What are the challenges of having a lot of money.

Posted May 7, 2017

Money — and having more of it — is one of the strongest impulses gripping most of us throughout most of our lives. And while many of us believe money can't buy happiness , some research 1 suggests that money can indeed buy happier lives, but not necessarily more meaningful lives. So that when it comes to ease of having someone else mow your lawn or clean your house, it's likely you will be happy having the money to outsource those tasks. But that money and that ease does not necessarily translate into a more meaningful life. I want to focus a little more specifically with how these questions might apply to men, because in general most men measure their sense of inner worth through a measure of outer accomplishment, and one of the best measures of outer accomplishment is level of income.

"If I were a rich man....."

So opens the famous song by Tevye, the simple milkman in "Fiddler on the Roof."

"I wouldn't have to work hard.....All day long I'd biddle-biddle-bum, if I were a wealthy man."

There is a fantasy I think many of us share, that being wealthy allows for leisure, and that given enough leisure we would undoubtedly be happy (this may also apply to the fantasy of retirement ). Certainly those of us leading busy lives want more leisure, but for a man in particular, where being productive in the outer world is so tied to one's sense of internal identity , not having to work for a living creates a challenge to developing a stable identity.

A study which surveyed the problems of the super-wealthy 2 describes how:

"A life of worklessness, however financially comfortable, can easily become one of aimlessness, of estrangement from the world. The fact that most people imagine it would be paradise to never have to work does not make the experience any more pleasant in practice. Career advancement is the standard yardstick by which most people measure success, and without that yardstick, it’s not easy to assess whether one’s time is well spent."

I think most of us know at least someone who was out of work, either by choice or circumstance, who in addition to whatever financial issues were involved would speak of the need for structure and purpose in life. Again, and I realize this is a generalization, I have never personally met a man who felt completely good about himself without having felt successful in some aspect of a career. How many times is a man asked at a party or social gathering, when meeting someone for the first time: “What do you do for a living?”

I'd see my wife, my Golde, looking like a rich man's wife With a proper double-chin. Supervising meals to her heart's delight. I see her putting on airs and strutting like a peacock. Oy, what a happy mood she's in. Screaming at the servants, day and night.

Of course this song is based in the reality of poor Eastern European Jews, so the fantasy of what Tevye and Golde would do with all that money is very different than what ours might be. But with the privilege of all that wealth come complications. Let’s say a man is very wealthy and looking for a spouse. How easy will it be for him to know if a woman is attracted to him because of who he is or how much money he has? This same article on the super rich writes about how:

“Wealthy people of both genders are wary of gold diggers—Does he love me or my money?—but at the same time fear that this wariness might make them mistrustful of genuine affection.”

I'd fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese and ducks For the town to see and hear. Squawking just as noisily as they can.

With each loud "cheep" "squawk" "honk" "quack" Would land like a trumpet on the ear, As if to say "Here lives a wealthy man."

Tevye is here describing the version of conspicuous consumption that would exist in his village. Today it would look quite different, but the principle is the same: admire me because of what material goods I have. I think most of us, if we are honest, can identify one time when we bought something based, at least in part, on how we imagine it will make us look to others. Wealth gives us the ability to extend this dubious practice in many new ways, living our lives in terms of an outer fantasy for how we think we need to appear more than the inner truth of who we are. We know this doesn’t work, but the temptation is there to do it just the same, and we often think “If I only had enough money to buy….”

As the article states:

"If anything, the rich stare into the abyss a bit more starkly than the rest of us. We can always indulge in the thought that a little more money would make our lives happier—and in many cases it’s true. But the truly wealthy know that appetites for material indulgence are rarely sated. No yacht is so super, nor any wine so expensive, that it can soothe the soul or guarantee one’s children won’t grow up to be creeps."

The most important men in town would come to fawn on me! They would ask me to advise them, Like a Solomon the Wise . "If you please, Reb Tevye..." "Pardon me, Reb Tevye..." Posing problems that would cross a rabbi's eyes!

And it won't make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong. When you're rich, they think you really know!

I actually think this is one of the most pernicious problems of money—being cushioned from the truth of the outside world. There are a number of wrinkles to this issue. First, I think we do have an unconscious belief that someone who has a lot of money must know more about things than us mere mortals. While this can certainly be true in some narrow circumstances, such as knowing more about the stock market or a business, why do we ask them questions outside their area of expertise? Another wrinkle is the automatic deference shown to someone who has great wealth. How could this not go to one’s head? If I stepped off a private jet at some vacation spot, how could I not feel special, “better than” the person who opened the door for me? I think this deference based on money distorts an important feedback mechanism we all need to get, where people or the world give us course corrections for our behavior or ideas.

Would I like to win the lottery? Of course, though as is often pointed out, to win the lottery I would need to start playing it. Do I have fantasies of what I would do with the money? You betcha. But I think the message we should get from the lives of the super-rich is that money cannot be a short cut to a life well lived. The person we are inside still waits for us to help bring it into the outer world.

1 Baumeister,R., Vohs, K., Aaker, J., & Garbinsky, E. (2013). Some key differences between a happy life and a meaningful life. Journal of Positive Psychology, 8 (6), 505-516.

2 Wood, G. (2011). Secret Fears of the Super Rich. The Atlantic Monthly . April, 2011.

Josh Gressel, Ph.D. , is a clinical psychologist in the San Francisco Bay area and a student of Jewish mysticism.

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A house with three stories; one being the basement, a four car garage, four bedrooms, three bathrooms, a large living area, a big playroom for my children, wonderful kitchen with two of every major appliance, lovely dining room, a nice office space, and huge fenced in backyard. It would have to be on the outskirts of town, but not secluded from civilization. Our home would cost two million dollars, including all of the furniture and appliances. We would then have a three to six foot deep pool installed in our backyard for a price of five-hundred thousand dollars. My husband and I would then purchase brand new vehicles for ourselves, mine being a 2006 Mercedes Benz, straight off the factory floor and my husband would purchase a real military Hummer, our vehicles would total up to the price of one-million dollars...

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That Viral Essay Wasn’t About Age Gaps. It Was About Marrying Rich.

But both tactics are flawed if you want to have any hope of becoming yourself..

Women are wisest, a viral essay in New York magazine’s the Cut argues , to maximize their most valuable cultural assets— youth and beauty—and marry older men when they’re still very young. Doing so, 27-year-old writer Grazie Sophia Christie writes, opens up a life of ease, and gets women off of a male-defined timeline that has our professional and reproductive lives crashing irreconcilably into each other. Sure, she says, there are concessions, like one’s freedom and entire independent identity. But those are small gives in comparison to a life in which a person has no adult responsibilities, including the responsibility to become oneself.

This is all framed as rational, perhaps even feminist advice, a way for women to quit playing by men’s rules and to reject exploitative capitalist demands—a choice the writer argues is the most obviously intelligent one. That other Harvard undergraduates did not busy themselves trying to attract wealthy or soon-to-be-wealthy men seems to flummox her (taking her “high breasts, most of my eggs, plausible deniability when it came to purity, a flush ponytail, a pep in my step that had yet to run out” to the Harvard Business School library, “I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me, given their intelligence”). But it’s nothing more than a recycling of some of the oldest advice around: For women to mold themselves around more-powerful men, to never grow into independent adults, and to find happiness in a state of perpetual pre-adolescence, submission, and dependence. These are odd choices for an aspiring writer (one wonders what, exactly, a girl who never wants to grow up and has no idea who she is beyond what a man has made her into could possibly have to write about). And it’s bad advice for most human beings, at least if what most human beings seek are meaningful and happy lives.

But this is not an essay about the benefits of younger women marrying older men. It is an essay about the benefits of younger women marrying rich men. Most of the purported upsides—a paid-for apartment, paid-for vacations, lives split between Miami and London—are less about her husband’s age than his wealth. Every 20-year-old in the country could decide to marry a thirtysomething and she wouldn’t suddenly be gifted an eternal vacation.

Which is part of what makes the framing of this as an age-gap essay both strange and revealing. The benefits the writer derives from her relationship come from her partner’s money. But the things she gives up are the result of both their profound financial inequality and her relative youth. Compared to her and her peers, she writes, her husband “struck me instead as so finished, formed.” By contrast, “At 20, I had felt daunted by the project of becoming my ideal self.” The idea of having to take responsibility for her own life was profoundly unappealing, as “adulthood seemed a series of exhausting obligations.” Tying herself to an older man gave her an out, a way to skip the work of becoming an adult by allowing a father-husband to mold her to his desires. “My husband isn’t my partner,” she writes. “He’s my mentor, my lover, and, only in certain contexts, my friend. I’ll never forget it, how he showed me around our first place like he was introducing me to myself: This is the wine you’ll drink, where you’ll keep your clothes, we vacation here, this is the other language we’ll speak, you’ll learn it, and I did.”

These, by the way, are the things she says are benefits of marrying older.

The downsides are many, including a basic inability to express a full range of human emotion (“I live in an apartment whose rent he pays and that constrains the freedom with which I can ever be angry with him”) and an understanding that she owes back, in some other form, what he materially provides (the most revealing line in the essay may be when she claims that “when someone says they feel unappreciated, what they really mean is you’re in debt to them”). It is clear that part of what she has paid in exchange for a paid-for life is a total lack of any sense of self, and a tacit agreement not to pursue one. “If he ever betrayed me and I had to move on, I would survive,” she writes, “but would find in my humor, preferences, the way I make coffee or the bed nothing that he did not teach, change, mold, recompose, stamp with his initials.”

Reading Christie’s essay, I thought of another one: Joan Didion’s on self-respect , in which Didion argues that “character—the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life—is the source from which self-respect springs.” If we lack self-respect, “we are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see, curiously determined to live out—since our self-image is untenable—their false notions of us.” Self-respect may not make life effortless and easy. But it means that whenever “we eventually lie down alone in that notoriously un- comfortable bed, the one we make ourselves,” at least we can fall asleep.

It can feel catty to publicly criticize another woman’s romantic choices, and doing so inevitably opens one up to accusations of jealousy or pettiness. But the stories we tell about marriage, love, partnership, and gender matter, especially when they’re told in major culture-shaping magazines. And it’s equally as condescending to say that women’s choices are off-limits for critique, especially when those choices are shared as universal advice, and especially when they neatly dovetail with resurgent conservative efforts to make women’s lives smaller and less independent. “Marry rich” is, as labor economist Kathryn Anne Edwards put it in Bloomberg, essentially the Republican plan for mothers. The model of marriage as a hierarchy with a breadwinning man on top and a younger, dependent, submissive woman meeting his needs and those of their children is not exactly a fresh or groundbreaking ideal. It’s a model that kept women trapped and miserable for centuries.

It’s also one that profoundly stunted women’s intellectual and personal growth. In her essay for the Cut, Christie seems to believe that a life of ease will abet a life freed up for creative endeavors, and happiness. But there’s little evidence that having material abundance and little adversity actually makes people happy, let alone more creatively generativ e . Having one’s basic material needs met does seem to be a prerequisite for happiness. But a meaningful life requires some sense of self, an ability to look outward rather than inward, and the intellectual and experiential layers that come with facing hardship and surmounting it.

A good and happy life is not a life in which all is easy. A good and happy life (and here I am borrowing from centuries of philosophers and scholars) is one characterized by the pursuit of meaning and knowledge, by deep connections with and service to other people (and not just to your husband and children), and by the kind of rich self-knowledge and satisfaction that comes from owning one’s choices, taking responsibility for one’s life, and doing the difficult and endless work of growing into a fully-formed person—and then evolving again. Handing everything about one’s life over to an authority figure, from the big decisions to the minute details, may seem like a path to ease for those who cannot stomach the obligations and opportunities of their own freedom. It’s really an intellectual and emotional dead end.

And what kind of man seeks out a marriage like this, in which his only job is to provide, but very much is owed? What kind of man desires, as the writer cast herself, a raw lump of clay to be molded to simply fill in whatever cracks in his life needed filling? And if the transaction is money and guidance in exchange for youth, beauty, and pliability, what happens when the young, beautiful, and pliable party inevitably ages and perhaps feels her backbone begin to harden? What happens if she has children?

The thing about using youth and beauty as a currency is that those assets depreciate pretty rapidly. There is a nearly endless supply of young and beautiful women, with more added each year. There are smaller numbers of wealthy older men, and the pool winnows down even further if one presumes, as Christie does, that many of these men want to date and marry compliant twentysomethings. If youth and beauty are what you’re exchanging for a man’s resources, you’d better make sure there’s something else there—like the basic ability to provide for yourself, or at the very least a sense of self—to back that exchange up.

It is hard to be an adult woman; it’s hard to be an adult, period. And many women in our era of unfinished feminism no doubt find plenty to envy about a life in which they don’t have to work tirelessly to barely make ends meet, don’t have to manage the needs of both children and man-children, could simply be taken care of for once. This may also explain some of the social media fascination with Trad Wives and stay-at-home girlfriends (some of that fascination is also, I suspect, simply a sexual submission fetish , but that’s another column). Fantasies of leisure reflect a real need for it, and American women would be far better off—happier, freer—if time and resources were not so often so constrained, and doled out so inequitably.

But the way out is not actually found in submission, and certainly not in electing to be carried by a man who could choose to drop you at any time. That’s not a life of ease. It’s a life of perpetual insecurity, knowing your spouse believes your value is decreasing by the day while his—an actual dollar figure—rises. A life in which one simply allows another adult to do all the deciding for them is a stunted life, one of profound smallness—even if the vacations are nice.

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If I were a rich man could I buy a pancreas? : and other essays on the ethics of health care

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IN COLLECTIONS

Uploaded by station28.cebu on November 22, 2019

I Hope You All Feel Terrible Now

How the internet—and Stephen Colbert—hounded Kate Middleton into revealing her diagnosis

Updated at 4:04 p.m ET on March 22, 2024

For many years, the most-complained-about cover of the British satirical magazine Private Eye was the one it published in the week after the death of Diana, Princess of Wales, in 1997. At the time, many people in Britain were loudly revolted by the tabloid newspapers that had hounded Diana after her divorce from Charles, and by the paparazzi whose quest for profitable pictures of the princess ended in an underpass in Paris.

Under the headline “Media to Blame,” the Eye cover carried a photograph of a crowd outside Buckingham Palace, with three speech bubbles. The first was: “The papers are a disgrace.” The next two said: “Yeah, I couldn’t get one anywhere” and “Borrow mine, it’s got a picture of the car.” People were furious. Sacks of angry, defensive mail arrived for days afterward, and several outlets withdrew the magazine from sale. (I am an Eye contributor, and these events have passed into office legend.) But with the benefit of hindsight, the implication was accurate: Intruding on the private lives of the royals is close to a British tradition. We Britons might have the occasional fit of remorse, but that doesn’t stop us. And now, because of the internet, everyone else can join in too.

Read: Just asking questions about Kate Middleton

That cover instantly sprang to mind when, earlier today, the current Princess of Wales announced that she has cancer. In a video recorded on Wednesday in Windsor, the former Kate Middleton outlined her diagnosis in order to put an end to weeks of speculation, largely incubated online but amplified and echoed by mainstream media outlets, about the state of her health and marriage.

Kate has effectively been bullied into this statement, because the alternative—a wildfire of gossip and conspiracy theories—was worse. So please, let’s not immediately switch into maudlin recriminations about how this happened. It happened because people felt they had the right to know Kate’s private medical information. The culprits may include three staff members at the London hospital that treated her, who have been accused of accessing her medical records, perhaps driven by the same curiosity that has lit up my WhatsApp inbox for weeks. Everyone hates the tabloid papers, until they become them.

In her statement, Kate said that after her abdominal surgery earlier in the year, which the press was told at the time was “planned”—a word designed to minimize its seriousness—later tests revealed an unspecified cancer. She is now undergoing “preventative chemotherapy,” but has not revealed the progression of the disease, or her exact prognosis. “I am well,” she said, promising that she is getting stronger every day. “I hope you will understand that as a family, we now need some time, space and privacy while I complete my treatment.”

This news will surely make many people feel bad. The massive online guessing game about the reasons for Kate’s invisibility seems far less fun now. Stephen Colbert’s “spilling the tea” monologue , which declared open season on the princess’s marriage, should probably be quietly interred somewhere. The sad simplicity of today’s statement, filmed on a bench with Kate in casual jeans and a striped sweater, certainly gave me pause. She mentioned the difficulty of having to “process” the news, as well as explaining her condition to her three young children in terms they could understand. The reference to the importance of “having William by my side” was pointed, given how much of the speculation has gleefully dwelt on the possibility that she was leaving him or vice versa.

Read: The eternal scrutiny of Kate Middleton

However, the statement also reveals that the online commentators who suggested that the royal household was keeping something from the public weren’t entirely wrong. Kate’s condition was described as noncancerous when her break from public life was announced in late January . The updated diagnosis appears to have been delivered in February, around the time her husband, Prince William, abruptly pulled out of speaking at a memorial service for the former king of Greece. Today’s statement represents a failure of Kensington Palace to control the narrative: first, by publishing a photograph of Kate and her children that was so obviously edited that photo agencies retracted it, and second, by giving its implicit permission for the publication of a grainy video of the couple shopping in Windsor over the weekend. Neither of those decisions quenched the inferno raging online—in fact, they fed it.

Some will say that Kate has finally done what she should have done much earlier: directly address the rumors in an official video, rather than drip-feed images that raised more questions than they answered. King Charles III has taken a different approach to his own (also unspecified) cancer, allowing footage to be filmed of him working from home. But then again, Kate has cancer at 42, is having chemo, and has three young children. Do you really have it in you to grade her media strategy and find it wanting?

Ironically, Britain’s tabloid papers have shown remarkable restraint; as I wrote earlier this month , they declined to publish the first paparazzi pictures of Kate taken after her withdrawal from public life. They have weighted their decisions toward respect and dignity—more so than the Meghan stans, royal tea-spillers, and KateGate theorists, who have generated such an unstoppable wave of interest in this story that its final destination was a woman with cancer being forced to reveal her diagnosis. If you ever wanted proof that the “mainstream media” are less powerful than ever before, this video of Kate Middleton sitting on a bench is it.