what are the school essay

Essay on My School for Students and Children

500+ words essay on my school.

Education is an essential part of our lives. We are nothing without knowledge, and education is what separates us from others. The main step to acquiring education is enrolling oneself in a school. School serves as the first learning place for most of the people. Similarly, it is the first spark in receiving an education. In this essay on my school, I will tell you why I love my school and what my school has taught me.

We have all been to school and we have loved each and every moment we have spent over there as those were the building blocks of our lives. A school is a place where students are taught the fundamentals of life, as well as how to grow and survive in life. It instils in us values and principles that serve as the foundation for a child’s development.

My school is my second home where I spend most of my time. Above all, it gives me a platform to do better in life and also builds my personality. I feel blessed to study in one of the most prestigious and esteemed schools in the city. In addition, my school has a lot of assets which makes me feel fortunate to be a part of it. Let us look at the essay on my school written below.

Why I Love My School?

From kindergarten through primary and secondary school, and subsequently, to faculty, school is a place where we always study, grow, and establish ourselves, socialize, be a friend, help others, and love and be loved. School is a buddy that will accompany us from the beginning of our youth till the conclusion of our lives. At school, we share all of our pleasures and sorrows, and we constantly rely on one another. This is made possible through the friendships we share. They assist us in effortlessly overcoming difficulties, sharing moments of enjoyment together, and looking forward to new paths.

My school strikes the perfect balance between modern education and vintage architecture. The vintage buildings of my school never fail to mesmerize me with their glorious beauty. However, their vintage architecture does not mean it is outdated, as it is well-equipped with all the contemporary gadgets. I see my school as a lighthouse of education bestowing knowledge as well as ethical conduct upon us.

Teachers have the power to make or break a school. The teaching staff is regarded as the foundation of any educational society. It is their efforts to help kids learn and understand things that instil good habits and values in their students. While some concepts are simple to grasp, others necessitate the use of a skilled teacher to drive the home the idea with each pupil.

In contrast to other schools, my school does not solely focus on academic performance. In other words, it emphasizes on the overall development of their students. Along with our academics, extra-curricular activities are also organized at our school. This is one of the main reasons why I love my school as it does not measure everyone on the same scale. Our hardworking staff gives time to each child to grow at their own pace which instils confidence in them. My school has all the facilities of a library , computer room, playground, basketball court and more, to ensure we have it all at our disposal.

For me, my school is more than simply an educational institution; it is also my second family, which I established during my childhood. A family of wonderful friends, outstanding teachers, and fond school memories. I adore my school because it is where I learn how to be a good citizen and how to reach my goals. School is the only place where we make friends without judging them. We feel comfortable spending time with those close friends no matter what the situation.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

What has My School Taught Me?

If someone asked me what I have learned from my school, I won’t be able to answer it in one sentence. For the lessons are irreplaceable and I can never be thankful enough for them. I learned to share because of my school. The power of sharing and sympathy was taught to me by my school. I learned how to be considerate towards animals and it is also one of the main reasons why I adopted a pet.

School is an excellent place to learn how to be an adult before entering the real world. Those abilities pay dividends whether you choose to be the bigger person in an argument or simply complete your domestic tasks. When you open your mind to new ideas, you gain a lot of influence in society. Picking up unexpected hobbies on your own will teach you more about what you like to do than simply completing things for a grade.

A school is a place where I developed my artistic skills which were further enhanced by my teachers. Subsequently, it led me to participate in inter-school completions through which I earned various awards. Most importantly, my school taught me how to face failures with grace and never give up on my ambitions, no matter what happens.

Schools also offer a variety of extracurricular activities such as Scouts and Guides, sports, N.C.C., skating, school band, acting, dancing, singing, and so on. Our principal also used to give us a short lecture every day for about 10 minutes about etiquette, character development, moral education, respecting others, and gaining excellent values. As a result, I can claim that what I am today is solely due to my school, which is the best institution in my opinion.

Teamwork is an important ability that schools teach. Schools are frequently the first places where youngsters have the opportunity to collaborate with children who are different from them. Collaboration is essential for the team and individual success. Students are taught that the success of a team depends on each individual component functioning together.

To sum it up, studying in one of the respected schools has helped me a lot personally. I will always be indebted to my school for shaping my personality and teaching me invaluable lessons. It has given me friends for life and teachers that I will always look up to. I aspire to carry on the values imbibed by my school to do well in life and make it proud.

Here is the list of Top Schools in India! Does Your School Tops the List?

FAQs on School

Q.1 Why must every child go to school?

A.1 It is essential for every child to go to school as the school teaches us lessons that cannot be acquired anywhere else. The experience is one a kind and along with education, we learn many other things like socializing, extra-curricular activities and more.

Q.2 What does school teach us?

A.2 School teaches us some of the great things like first of all, it gives us basic education. It teaches us to develop our skills like art, dance, public speaking and more. Most importantly, it teaches us discipline.

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Essays About School: Top 5 Examples Plus Prompts

School education plays a significant role in forming who we are; if you are writing essays about school, read our guide for inspiration and writing prompts. 

School is a crucial part of one’s life, as it gives us the basic knowledge we need to be able to take on the world. It refers to the activity of being educated in class and the buildings where these activities occur. Children go to school to obtain basic knowledge, such as history, English, and mathematics and learn manners and helpful life skills. It is commonly divided into early childhood, primary, secondary, and tertiary education. 

Many current and former students regard school as a second home, as it gives shelter, knowledge, and a “second family” in the form of our classmates. They also nurture us, teach us lessons about life, help us discover our interests, and instill morals in us. Indeed, the schools we attend prove vital to our success. 

To start your essay, read these examples to write informative essays about school. 

1. Homeschool vs. Public School by Ramona Rice

2. essay on my school (author unknown), 3. 2020-2021 school year reflection by rasha al-najjar, 4.  what do i expect from elementary school not this. by laura eberhart goodman.

• 5. ​​My High School Reflections by Stella Santa Ana

1. Why Is School Important?

2. should schools require uniforms, 3. should there be a “no homework” policy in elementary school , 4. should classes be separated by sex, 5. is going to college necessary, 6. is bullying part of “school culture”, 7. what is the most important thing you have learned from school .

“And although homeschooled students can benefit from a more fitted education and concentrate on their own needs, their curriculum can become too narrowed, limiting all that they could obtain. In all, by limiting the knowledge of a student to only what their parents know, how could society ever grow and develop? A student needs to learn in an environment that will adequately prepare them for the ever-growing society and competitive work field.”

Rice compares being homeschooled to public school, highlighting its advantages and disadvantages. While homeschooling allows for a more flexible schedule and a more personalized study plan, there is no socialization and no pressure, two things that school accustoms students to for the future. It is also very limited, as parents rather than professionals teach students. Homeschooling has its advantages but is not ideal overall. You might also be interested in these essays about education .

“For me, my school is more than simply an educational institution; it is also my second family, which I established during my childhood. A family of wonderful friends, outstanding teachers, and fond school memories. I adore my school because it is where I learn how to be a good citizen and how to reach my goals. School is the only place where we make friends without judging them. We feel comfortable spending time with those close friends no matter what the situation.”

This essay discusses the importance of education and school. School gives us essential knowledge, the fundamentals of life, and friendships we will treasure forever. Contributing factors to the effectiveness of a school are the physical environment, teachers, classmates, and of course, quality of education. Finally, the school has become a second family to the author, as it gave them some of the best memories ever. 

“Hybrid is hard. Flipping lessons, teachers trying to build relationships with students they’ve never seen in person, and students who are at home alone through assignments is incredibly challenging. However, the struggle of keeping it all straight gave teachers an opportunity to reflect, tweak, and adjust lessons as they went.”

Al-Najjar explains the difficulties her school’s faculty encountered during the previous school year at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. The sudden change from an in-person to an online or hybrid set-up left many teachers and students confused and stressed, and although easier in some aspects; it proved difficult overall. As a result, the school year was tough, but Al-Najjar and her fellow faculty members learned a lot and planned to make the coming year more productive. 

“We aren’t expecting 8 and 9 year olds to vote in the next election, or pay their own car insurance, or stay out late with a boy that we hate, so why are we expecting them to sit for 6–7 hours a day and do paperwork? Why are we expecting them to be able to concentrate for hours at a time to take multiple choice tests? It’s not the right time for that. They aren’t ready, and they shouldn’t have to be ready.”

Goodman, a mother of elementary school students, laments the tiredness she sees on their faces when she picks them up. She wishes elementary schools would focus on creativity, morals and skills, and even fun; instead, she sees her kids bored and tired with school, as their school focuses too much on academics and “high standards.” Goodman provides excellent insight from the perspective of a mother, making her argument all the more effective. 

5. ​​ My High School Reflections by Stella Santa Ana

“Many people think that being alone and introverted is an abnormal behavior, but it’s actually one of the greatest assets you can achieve. If you can be alone and introverted and enjoy some quality time with yourself, if you can learn to befriend who you are and learn to love yourself for your faults, then you’re already ahead of most people in life. It’s in your best interest to become your own best friend, because only then can you really improve and become a better person.”

Santa Anna writes about several lessons she has learned throughout high schools, such as being careful with who you socialize with and avoiding procrastination. Most significantly, however, she discusses self-reliance. Only one person fully knows the real you: you. As a result, you should keep in touch with your emotions and avoid getting swayed by others so easily. If you can “become your best friend,” it is easier to succeed. 

Writing Prompts For Essays About School

There are many reasons for you to attend and take school seriously. Focus on one or more, explaining the importance of going to school. For example, you may mention the lessons you can learn, the skills you develop, and how schools prepare you for the future. 

Some schools, particularly religious institutions, implement strict uniform policies. Read about uniform requirements and decide whether you think students should be required to wear uniforms or not. Then, make your argument and support it adequately with credible sources. Be sure to include a rebuttal of the opposing viewpoint: describe it and explain why you disagree. 

Another topic you can consider for an interesting argumentative essay is a “no homework” policy in primary school. Some believe that kids this young should have as much free time as possible, while others want them to be prepared for the future rigor of class. Discuss whether you believe students should not be assigned homework and explain your position sufficiently. 

Some believe that males and females have different learning styles and should be separated in class to maximize teaching. In contrast, others believe this is unnecessary and unrealistic as men and women always work together. Decide on your position on this issue and try to persuade readers of it- give ample evidence for your argument and explain it in detail.

Looking for more? Check out these essays about classroom .

More and more job providers are removing the college degree requirement for applicants. With that being said, is getting a tertiary education still needed? In your essay, detail your position on this issue and support it with examples, statistics, and other credible research.

Bullying is, without a doubt, a grave issue at all school levels. However, some believe it is already institutional and cannot be entirely eradicated. Furthermore, some believe it can prepare students for the “real world.” Do you believe that the culture of bullying will persist, or is it unacceptable to just let it be? There is no wrong answer, as long as it is explained adequately. 

For your essay, reflect on a memorable experience from your school years, no matter how long ago or recent it may be. Why do you remember it as well as you do? Then, explain what you learned from it and how it has helped you become who you are today. 

For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers .If you’re still stuck, check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.

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Essay Writing: A complete guide for students and teachers

P LANNING, PARAGRAPHING AND POLISHING: FINE-TUNING THE PERFECT ESSAY

Essay writing is an essential skill for every student. Whether writing a particular academic essay (such as persuasive, narrative, descriptive, or expository) or a timed exam essay, the key to getting good at writing is to write. Creating opportunities for our students to engage in extended writing activities will go a long way to helping them improve their skills as scribes.

But, putting the hours in alone will not be enough to attain the highest levels in essay writing. Practice must be meaningful. Once students have a broad overview of how to structure the various types of essays, they are ready to narrow in on the minor details that will enable them to fine-tune their work as a lean vehicle of their thoughts and ideas.

In this article, we will drill down to some aspects that will assist students in taking their essay writing skills up a notch. Many ideas and activities can be integrated into broader lesson plans based on essay writing. Often, though, they will work effectively in isolation – just as athletes isolate physical movements to drill that are relevant to their sport. When these movements become second nature, they can be repeated naturally in the context of the game or in our case, the writing of the essay.

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Planning an essay

The Boys Scouts’ motto is famously ‘Be Prepared’. It’s a solid motto that can be applied to most aspects of life; essay writing is no different. Given the purpose of an essay is generally to present a logical and reasoned argument, investing time in organising arguments, ideas, and structure would seem to be time well spent.

Given that essays can take a wide range of forms and that we all have our own individual approaches to writing, it stands to reason that there will be no single best approach to the planning stage of essay writing. That said, there are several helpful hints and techniques we can share with our students to help them wrestle their ideas into a writable form. Let’s take a look at a few of the best of these:

BREAK THE QUESTION DOWN: UNDERSTAND YOUR ESSAY TOPIC.

Whether students are tackling an assignment that you have set for them in class or responding to an essay prompt in an exam situation, they should get into the habit of analyzing the nature of the task. To do this, they should unravel the question’s meaning or prompt. Students can practice this in class by responding to various essay titles, questions, and prompts, thereby gaining valuable experience breaking these down.

Have students work in groups to underline and dissect the keywords and phrases and discuss what exactly is being asked of them in the task. Are they being asked to discuss, describe, persuade, or explain? Understanding the exact nature of the task is crucial before going any further in the planning process, never mind the writing process .

BRAINSTORM AND MIND MAP WHAT YOU KNOW:

Once students have understood what the essay task asks them, they should consider what they know about the topic and, often, how they feel about it. When teaching essay writing, we so often emphasize that it is about expressing our opinions on things, but for our younger students what they think about something isn’t always obvious, even to themselves.

Brainstorming and mind-mapping what they know about a topic offers them an opportunity to uncover not just what they already know about a topic, but also gives them a chance to reveal to themselves what they think about the topic. This will help guide them in structuring their research and, later, the essay they will write . When writing an essay in an exam context, this may be the only ‘research’ the student can undertake before the writing, so practicing this will be even more important.

RESEARCH YOUR ESSAY

The previous step above should reveal to students the general direction their research will take. With the ubiquitousness of the internet, gone are the days of students relying on a single well-thumbed encyclopaedia from the school library as their sole authoritative source in their essay. If anything, the real problem for our students today is narrowing down their sources to a manageable number. Students should use the information from the previous step to help here. At this stage, it is important that they:

●      Ensure the research material is directly relevant to the essay task

●      Record in detail the sources of the information that they will use in their essay

●      Engage with the material personally by asking questions and challenging their own biases

●      Identify the key points that will be made in their essay

●      Group ideas, counterarguments, and opinions together

●      Identify the overarching argument they will make in their own essay.

Once these stages have been completed the student is ready to organise their points into a logical order.

WRITING YOUR ESSAY

There are a number of ways for students to organize their points in preparation for writing. They can use graphic organizers , post-it notes, or any number of available writing apps. The important thing for them to consider here is that their points should follow a logical progression. This progression of their argument will be expressed in the form of body paragraphs that will inform the structure of their finished essay.

The number of paragraphs contained in an essay will depend on a number of factors such as word limits, time limits, the complexity of the question etc. Regardless of the essay’s length, students should ensure their essay follows the Rule of Three in that every essay they write contains an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Generally speaking, essay paragraphs will focus on one main idea that is usually expressed in a topic sentence that is followed by a series of supporting sentences that bolster that main idea. The first and final sentences are of the most significance here with the first sentence of a paragraph making the point to the reader and the final sentence of the paragraph making the overall relevance to the essay’s argument crystal clear. 

Though students will most likely be familiar with the broad generic structure of essays, it is worth investing time to ensure they have a clear conception of how each part of the essay works, that is, of the exact nature of the task it performs. Let’s review:

Common Essay Structure

Introduction: Provides the reader with context for the essay. It states the broad argument that the essay will make and informs the reader of the writer’s general perspective and approach to the question.

Body Paragraphs: These are the ‘meat’ of the essay and lay out the argument stated in the introduction point by point with supporting evidence.

Conclusion: Usually, the conclusion will restate the central argument while summarising the essay’s main supporting reasons before linking everything back to the original question.

ESSAY WRITING PARAGRAPH WRITING TIPS

●      Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea

●      Paragraphs should follow a logical sequence; students should group similar ideas together to avoid incoherence

●      Paragraphs should be denoted consistently; students should choose either to indent or skip a line

●      Transition words and phrases such as alternatively , consequently , in contrast should be used to give flow and provide a bridge between paragraphs.

HOW TO EDIT AN ESSAY

Students shouldn’t expect their essays to emerge from the writing process perfectly formed. Except in exam situations and the like, thorough editing is an essential aspect in the writing process. 

Often, students struggle with this aspect of the process the most. After spending hours of effort on planning, research, and writing the first draft, students can be reluctant to go back over the same terrain they have so recently travelled. It is important at this point to give them some helpful guidelines to help them to know what to look out for. The following tips will provide just such help: 

One Piece at a Time: There is a lot to look out for in the editing process and often students overlook aspects as they try to juggle too many balls during the process. One effective strategy to combat this is for students to perform a number of rounds of editing with each focusing on a different aspect. For example, the first round could focus on content, the second round on looking out for word repetition (use a thesaurus to help here), with the third attending to spelling and grammar.

Sum It Up: When reviewing the paragraphs they have written, a good starting point is for students to read each paragraph and attempt to sum up its main point in a single line. If this is not possible, their readers will most likely have difficulty following their train of thought too and the paragraph needs to be overhauled.

Let It Breathe: When possible, encourage students to allow some time for their essay to ‘breathe’ before returning to it for editing purposes. This may require some skilful time management on the part of the student, for example, a student rush-writing the night before the deadline does not lend itself to effective editing. Fresh eyes are one of the sharpest tools in the writer’s toolbox.

Read It Aloud: This time-tested editing method is a great way for students to identify mistakes and typos in their work. We tend to read things more slowly when reading aloud giving us the time to spot errors. Also, when we read silently our minds can often fill in the gaps or gloss over the mistakes that will become apparent when we read out loud.

Phone a Friend: Peer editing is another great way to identify errors that our brains may miss when reading our own work. Encourage students to partner up for a little ‘you scratch my back, I scratch yours’.

Use Tech Tools: We need to ensure our students have the mental tools to edit their own work and for this they will need a good grasp of English grammar and punctuation. However, there are also a wealth of tech tools such as spellcheck and grammar checks that can offer a great once-over option to catch anything students may have missed in earlier editing rounds.

Putting the Jewels on Display: While some struggle to edit, others struggle to let go. There comes a point when it is time for students to release their work to the reader. They must learn to relinquish control after the creation is complete. This will be much easier to achieve if the student feels that they have done everything in their control to ensure their essay is representative of the best of their abilities and if they have followed the advice here, they should be confident they have done so.

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Ultimate Guide to Writing Your College Essay

Tips for writing an effective college essay.

College admissions essays are an important part of your college application and gives you the chance to show colleges and universities your character and experiences. This guide will give you tips to write an effective college essay.

Want free help with your college essay?

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Writing a strong college admissions essay

Learn about the elements of a solid admissions essay.

Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

Learn some of the most common mistakes made on college essays

Brainstorming tips for your college essay

Stuck on what to write your college essay about? Here are some exercises to help you get started.

How formal should the tone of your college essay be?

Learn how formal your college essay should be and get tips on how to bring out your natural voice.

Taking your college essay to the next level

Hear an admissions expert discuss the appropriate level of depth necessary in your college essay.

Student Stories

Student Story: Admissions essay about a formative experience

Get the perspective of a current college student on how he approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about personal identity

Get the perspective of a current college student on how she approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about community impact

Student story: admissions essay about a past mistake, how to write a college application essay, tips for writing an effective application essay, sample college essay 1 with feedback, sample college essay 2 with feedback.

This content is licensed by Khan Academy and is available for free at www.khanacademy.org.

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How to Write Any High School Essay

Last Updated: March 22, 2023 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Emily Listmann, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising . Emily Listmann is a private tutor in San Carlos, California. She has worked as a Social Studies Teacher, Curriculum Coordinator, and an SAT Prep Teacher. She received her MA in Education from the Stanford Graduate School of Education in 2014. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 563,673 times.

Writing an essay is an important basic skill that you will need to succeed in high school and college. While essays will vary depending on your teacher and the assignment, most essays will follow the same basic structure. By supporting your thesis with information in your body paragraphs, you can successfully write an essay for any course!

Writing Help

Planning Your Essay

• Expository essays uses arguments to investigate and explain a topic.
• Persuasive essays try to convince the readers to believe or accept your specific point of view
• Narrative essays tell about a real-life personal experience.
• Descriptive essays are used to communicate deeper meaning through the use of descriptive words and sensory details.

• Look through books or use search engines online to look at the broad topic before narrowing your ideas down into something more concise.

• For example, the statement “Elephants are used to perform in circuses” does not offer an arguable point. Instead, you may try something like “Elephants should not be kept in the circus since they are mistreated.” This allows you to find supporting arguments or for others to argue against it.
• Keep in mind that some essay writing will not require an argument, such as a narrative essay. Instead, you might focus on a pivotal point in the story as your main claim.

• Talk to your school’s librarian for direction on specific books or databases you could use to find your information.
• Many schools offer access to online databases like EBSCO or JSTOR where you can find reliable information.
• Wikipedia is a great starting place for your research, but it can be edited by anyone in the world. Instead, look at the article’s references to find the sites where the information really came from.
• Use Google Scholar if you want to find peer-reviewed scholarly articles for your sources.
• Make sure to consider the author’s credibility when reviewing sources. If a source does not include the author’s name, then it might not be a good option.

• Outlines will vary in size or length depending on how long your essay needs to be. Longer essays will have more body paragraphs to support your arguments.

Starting an Essay

• Make sure your quotes or information are accurate and not an exaggeration of the truth, or else readers will question your validity throughout the rest of your essay.

• For example, “Because global warming is causing the polar ice caps to melt, we need to eliminate our reliance on fossil fuels within the next 5 years.” Or, “Since flavored tobacco appeals mainly to children and teens, it should be illegal for tobacco manufacturers to sell these products.”
• The thesis is usually the last or second to last sentence in your introduction.

• Use the main topics of your body paragraphs as an idea of what to include in your mini-outline.

Writing the Body Paragraphs

• Think of your topic sentences as mini-theses so your paragraphs only argue a specific point.

• Many high school essays are written in MLA or APA style. Ask your teacher what format they want you to follow if it’s not specified.

• Unless you’re writing a personal essay, avoid the use of “I” statements since this could make your essay look less professional.

• For example, if your body paragraphs discuss similar points in a different way, you can use phrases like “in the same way,” “similarly,” and “just as” to start other body paragraphs.
• If you are posing different points, try phrases like “in spite of,” “in contrast,” or “however” to transition.

Concluding Your Essay

• For example, if your thesis was, “The cell phone is the most important invention in the past 30 years,” then you may restate the thesis in your conclusion like, “Due to the ability to communicate anywhere in the world and access information easily, the cell phone is a pivotal invention in human history.”
• If you’re only writing a 1-page paper, restating your main ideas isn’t necessary.

• For example, if you write an essay discussing the themes of a book, think about how the themes are affecting people’s lives today.

• Try to pick the same type of closing sentence as you used as your attention getter.

• Including a Works Cited page shows that the information you provided isn’t all your own and allows the reader to visit the sources to see the raw information for themselves.
• Avoid using online citation machines since they may be outdated.

Revising the Paper

• Have a peer or parent read through your essay to see if they understand what point you’re trying to make.

• For example, if your essay discusses the history of an event, make sure your sentences flow in a chronological way in the order the events happened.

• If you cut parts out of your essay, make sure to reread it to see if it affects the flow of how it reads.

Community Q&A

• Allow ample time to layout your essay before you get started writing. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 0
• If you have writer's block , take a break for a few minutes. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 2
• Check the rubric provided by your teacher and compare your essay to it. This helps you gauge what you need to include or change. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 1

• Avoid using plagiarism since this could result in academic consequences. Thanks Helpful 5 Not Helpful 1

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• ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/types-of-essays/
• ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/thesis-statements/
• ↑ https://guides.libs.uga.edu/reliability
• ↑ https://facultyweb.ivcc.edu/rrambo/eng1001/outline.htm
• ↑ https://examples.yourdictionary.com/20-compelling-hook-examples-for-essays.html
• ↑ https://wts.indiana.edu/writing-guides/how-to-write-a-thesis-statement.html
• ↑ https://guidetogrammar.org/grammar/five_par.htm
• ↑ https://learning.hccs.edu/faculty/jason.laviolette/persuasive-essay-outline
• ↑ https://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writingcenter/paragraphs/topicsentences
• ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/transitions/
• ↑ https://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/ending-essay-conclusions
• ↑ https://libguides.newcastle.edu.au/how-to-write-an-essay/conclusion
• ↑ https://pitt.libguides.com/citationhelp
• ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/revising-drafts/

About This Article

Writing good essays is an important skill to have in high school, and you can write a good one by planning it out and organizing it well. Before you start, do some research on your topic so you can come up with a strong, specific thesis statement, which is essentially the main argument of your essay. For instance, your thesis might be something like, “Elephants should not be kept in the circus because they are mistreated.” Once you have your thesis, outline the paragraphs for your essay. You should have an introduction that includes your thesis, at least 3 body paragraphs that explain your main points, and a conclusion paragraph. Start each body paragraph with a topic sentence that states the main point of the paragraph. As you write your main points, make sure to include evidence and quotes from your research to back it up. To learn how to revise your paper, read more from our Writing co-author! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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How to Write an Essay about Your School

If you’re hoping to draft an insightful essay about your school, you’re in the right place! Writing an essay about your school offers an opportunity to share your experiences, the unique features of your school, and why it is important to you.

In this tutorial, I’ll guide you through five straightforward steps to pen such an essay effectively. Alongside these steps, we’ll craft a sample essay to demonstrate how you can apply these steps in practice. Ready to begin? Let’s dive in!

Step 1. Plan the word count for your essay’s paragraphs.

Planning the word count for each paragraph in your essay is a helpful initial step, which can make the writing process smoother and faster. Remember, a typical essay comprises three key parts:

• The introductory paragraph
• Three body paragraphs
• The concluding paragraph

For example, you want a 300-word paragraph. Here’s one way to distribute 300 words across five paragraphs:

That’s all you need for your essay — five solid paragraphs.

Step 2. Choose your central theme and supporting points.

Firstly, decide on a central theme that encapsulates your school experience. This will provide a coherent thread for your entire essay. When choosing your theme, think about what defines your school. What are the core values? What unique attributes does it possess?

For our sample essay, let’s use this as our central theme: “My school, Greenfield High, stands out for its emphasis on community, innovative teaching methods, and commitment to the arts.”

Next, we will apply the Power of Three to break down this main theme into three supporting points. The Power of Three is a three-part structure that aids you in crafting your body paragraphs.

In our case, we will focus on three features that define Greenfield High:

• Greenfield High fosters a strong sense of community.
• Innovative teaching methods are a hallmark of Greenfield High.
• Greenfield High shows a deep commitment to the arts.

With these in mind, we can now begin to write our essay!

Step 3. Write the introductory paragraph.

To write an introductory paragraph , you can follow the diagram below:

The introductory paragraph should begin with an engaging opener that sets the context for the essay. Following this, you should introduce your central theme and your three supporting points. Here’s our example:

Introductory Paragraph

“Schools can profoundly shape our lives, molding us through their unique cultures, methodologies, and focus areas. My school, Greenfield High, stands out for its emphasis on community, innovative teaching methods, and commitment to the arts. Its sense of community fosters cooperation and mutual respect among students, its innovative teaching methods stimulate our intellectual curiosity, and its commitment to the arts provides a rich, expressive outlet for students.”

Step 4. Write the body paragraphs.

Next, we’ll develop three body paragraphs to elaborate on our supporting points.

Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that summarizes the paragraph’s main idea, followed by explanation and examples.

Paragraph 1

“Greenfield High fosters a strong sense of community, which has deeply impacted my school experience. Its student-led initiatives and regular community outreach programs have taught us the value of teamwork and public service. For instance, our annual ‘Greenfield Gives Back’ campaign, where students volunteer in local charities, has not only benefited our local community but also fostered a sense of responsibility and empathy in us students.”

Paragraph 2

“The innovative teaching methods adopted by Greenfield High are another defining feature. Teachers often integrate technology into their lessons, enhancing our understanding and making the learning process more interactive. I remember how our geography teacher used virtual reality to explore different ecosystems, turning abstract concepts into immersive experiences.”

Paragraph 3

“Lastly, Greenfield High’s commitment to the arts is exceptional. The school offers numerous art programs and supports artistic events like art festivals and music competitions, providing students with opportunities to express themselves and develop their talents. For example, participating in our annual school musical has allowed me to explore my passion for performing arts and has greatly boosted my confidence.”

Notice how each body paragraph begins with a topic sentence, followed by further explanation and examples.

Step 5. Write the concluding paragraph.

The concluding paragraph is best written by paraphrasing the points made in your introductory paragraph. Avoid copying and pasting; instead, refer back to your introductory paragraph and restate the points in a new way. Let’s apply this method to our sample essay:

“Schools greatly influence our formative years through their unique characteristics. Greenfield High, with its emphasis on community, innovative teaching methods, and commitment to the arts, has shaped my educational journey in significant ways. Its strong sense of community has instilled in me the importance of cooperation and service. Its innovative teaching methods have fostered my intellectual curiosity. Finally, its dedication to the arts has allowed me to express myself creatively and grow my confidence.”

With this approach, writing the conclusion becomes quick and straightforward.

And there you have it! I hope you find this tutorial useful as you craft your own essay about your school.”

Tutor Phil is an e-learning professional who helps adult learners finish their degrees by teaching them academic writing skills.

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Home — Essay Samples — Education — School — The Importance of School

The Importance of School

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My School Essay in English (100, 200, 300, 500 words)

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My School Essay 100 Words

My school is a place where I get educated; learn new subjects under the guidance of trained and skilled teachers. I study at a school that is near my home. It is one of the best schools in my entire town. The management of my school believes that it isn’t only academic excellence that we should be after, but also the overall personality development and evolving into a good and useful human being.

The school has two playgrounds – one is a tennis court and the other one is a cricket ground. We also have a nice swimming pool and a canteen. It also has a beautiful garden where students relax and play during recess. Even in games, sports and tournaments, it has made much progress. My school has won many trophies, shields, and medals in many extra-curricular activities. In debates also, the students of my school secure good positions. It is considered to be one of the best schools in my locality.

My School Essay 200 Words

The school is called the educational institution which is designed to provide learning spaces and create an environment for the children where the teaching of the students is under the direction and guidance of the teachers.

My School is one of the best educational institutions where I get an education and make progress towards the goals of my life and make me capable of achieving them. Besides education, there are several significant roles that my school plays in my life. My school is performing well in all fields. It develops my physical and mental stamina, instills confidence, and

gives me tremendous opportunities to prove my skills and talents in different fields. In the academic field, it has made a mark. Its students secure top positions in the board examinations.

I go to school with my other friends. We study in our school in a great friendly environment. We reach school at a fixed time. As soon as we reach we line up to attend the assembly. Attending the school assembly is a wonderful experience. I enjoy for being first in a row in a school assembly. As soon as the assembly ends we rush to our respective classrooms. We take part in all school activities. One of my school fellows is the best singer and dancer. She has recently won the best singer award at the annual arts festival. Our school organizes all-important national events like Independence Day, teachers’ day, father’s day, etc. My school also gives every student abundant opportunities to take part in extracurricular activities like sports and music.

All of us are proud of being a part of it. I am fortunate enough to be a student at this school. I love and am proud of my school.

My School Essay 300 Words

An institution where higher education is taught is commonly called a school, University College, or University. Most countries have systems of formal education, which is sometimes compulsory. In these systems, Students progress through a series of schools. The names for these schools vary by country but generally include primary school for young children and secondary school for teenagers who have completed primary education.

My school is a place where I not only get educated but also get trained in other necessary competitive skills like sports, music, and dance. I am proud of my school because it provides us with all the basic facilities like a big playground, a central library, a big auditorium hall, a science lab, and a good computer lab. That is why my school is rated as one of the best schools in my entire area. My school has produced many great people in my country. It has a big and beautiful building that looks shiny from far away. I reach my target at a fixed time. I came to school with other friends of mine. We happily enter the schools with great confidence. We take part in a school assembly and then we move into our classrooms.

This all is done by a very efficient and well-trained teaching staff of my school. The best schools are those that make the students the best and the best school is made by the best teachers. We study under the guidance of the best teachers. My school has a dedicated teacher for all the subjects as well as extracurricular activities like music and sports. I consider my school as the best school because it supports and encourages every student to do their best and make progress. Fortunately, my school provides the best environment, the best teachers, and the best facilities.

Our Class teacher greets us daily and asks about us. He is quite a cool and kind man. He entertains us along with teaching his subject. We learn a lot of things like discipline, self-help, confidence, and cooperation here. As I enter my classroom I feel quite happy and relaxed.

My School Essay 500 Words

The place where children as the leaders of tomorrow study and where the future of the nation is shaped are called schools. Education is an essential weapon for tomorrow, so the good schools of today are important for the best future of a nation. Schools are the center of learning where we attend classes on various subjects, interact with the teachers, get our queries

answered, and appeared in exams. In my school, learning is more like a fun activity, because of the extra-talented teaching staff.

My school is a government primary school located on the outskirts of the city. Usually, when people think about a government school, they perceive it to be at an isolated location and have poor basic amenities and teaching facilities. But, despite being a government school, my school defies all such speculations. Teachers of my school are not only knowledgeable about the subjects they teach but also are skilled enough to teach through fun activities. For example, our physics teacher explains every concept by stating real-life examples that we could relate to. This way we not only understand the subject better. Moreover, not a moment I remember, when any teacher had ever replied rudely to any of the students. They always patiently listen and provide answers to all the queries posed to them. Learning at my school is fun and it is made possible only because of the teachers.

My school is very important in my life, in a way even more than my family. My family gives me love, care, and affection, and provides for all my other essential needs. But, all of this isn’t enough to make me a good human being and succeed in life.  Favorably, I am lucky enough to be enrolled in a prestigious school, and gaining a wonderful education, looking forward to realizing my dreams one day. The most necessary for success in life is education, and only my school provides it to me. Without my school and the education that it gives, I would be like a confused and wandering soul, almost aimless in life.

My school helps with my educational and overall personality development. It imparts education through classes, tests, and exams to teach me how to conduct myself confidently. It just feels so great to be in my school and be a part of everyday activities, be it lectures, sports, or Something else. While in school, I always feel happy, confident, enthusiastic, and loved. I make friends at school, those whom I will never forget and will always love them. My family supports my materialistic needs, but school is the place where my actual physical, social, and mental development takes place.  I know that every question that crosses my mind will be answered by my teachers. I also know that my school friends will always be at my side whenever I need them to be. As much as the studies, my school also stresses much on These activities as the management thinks that extracurricular activities are very essential for our overall personality development. My school provides dedicated teachers and staff for each extracurricular activity. We have a big sports ground with kits for all the major sports; a covered auditorium for dance and music and a separate basketball court.

The role my school plays in my personality development is fantastic. It not only imparts education in me but also teaches me how to conduct myself and how to behave decently and properly. I get trained in all the other necessary skills of life, like how to keep calm in challenging situations and help others as well. My school teaches me to be a good and evolved human being, to stay composed and progressive always. It also teaches me to be kind and generous to others and not differentiate them based on their caste, religion, ethnicity, or other divisions. These are some of the most essential personality traits that my school imparts to me, something that I will always be thankful for. Every time I think of my school, I think of it as a temple of education. A temple, where my soul meets education, making my life more meaningful and useful to society and the nation as well. It is a place where my aspirations get a wing and I get the strength and confidence to realize them. No other place in the entire world could replace my school and the role that it plays in my life. I will always be thankful to my friends, teachers, and the staff of my school, for making it such a comfortable and Educational place of learning.

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How to Write the Perfect Essay: A Step-By-Step Guide for Students

• June 2, 2022

• What is an essay? 

What makes a good essay?

Typical essay structure, 7 steps to writing a good essay, a step-by-step guide to writing a good essay.

Whether you are gearing up for your GCSE coursework submissions or looking to brush up on your A-level writing skills, we have the perfect essay-writing guide for you. 💯

Staring at a blank page before writing an essay can feel a little daunting . Where do you start? What should your introduction say? And how should you structure your arguments? They are all fair questions and we have the answers! Take the stress out of essay writing with this step-by-step guide – you’ll be typing away in no time. 👩‍💻

What is an essay?

Generally speaking, an essay designates a literary work in which the author defends a point of view or a personal conviction, using logical arguments and literary devices in order to inform and convince the reader.

So – although essays can be broadly split into four categories: argumentative, expository, narrative, and descriptive – an essay can simply be described as a focused piece of writing designed to inform or persuade. 🤔

The purpose of an essay is to present a coherent argument in response to a stimulus or question and to persuade the reader that your position is credible, believable and reasonable. 👌

So, a ‘good’ essay relies on a confident writing style – it’s clear, well-substantiated, focussed, explanatory and descriptive . The structure follows a logical progression and above all, the body of the essay clearly correlates to the tile – answering the question where one has been posed. 

But, how do you go about making sure that you tick all these boxes and keep within a specified word count? Read on for the answer as well as an example essay structure to follow and a handy step-by-step guide to writing the perfect essay – hooray. 🙌

Sometimes, it is helpful to think about your essay like it is a well-balanced argument or a speech – it needs to have a logical structure, with all your points coming together to answer the question in a coherent manner. ⚖️

Of course, essays can vary significantly in length but besides that, they all follow a fairly strict pattern or structure made up of three sections. Lean into this predictability because it will keep you on track and help you make your point clearly. Let’s take a look at the typical essay structure:  

#1 Introduction

Start your introduction with the central claim of your essay. Let the reader know exactly what you intend to say with this essay. Communicate what you’re going to argue, and in what order. The final part of your introduction should also say what conclusions you’re going to draw – it sounds counter-intuitive but it’s not – more on that below. 1️⃣

Make your point, evidence it and explain it. This part of the essay – generally made up of three or more paragraphs depending on the length of your essay – is where you present your argument. The first sentence of each paragraph – much like an introduction to an essay – should summarise what your paragraph intends to explain in more detail. 2️⃣

#3 Conclusion

This is where you affirm your argument – remind the reader what you just proved in your essay and how you did it. This section will sound quite similar to your introduction but – having written the essay – you’ll be summarising rather than setting out your stall. 3️⃣

No essay is the same but your approach to writing them can be. As well as some best practice tips, we have gathered our favourite advice from expert essay-writers and compiled the following 7-step guide to writing a good essay every time. 👍

#1 Make sure you understand the question

#2 complete background reading.

#3 Make a detailed plan 

#4 Write your opening sentences 

#5 flesh out your essay in a rough draft, #6 evidence your opinion, #7 final proofread and edit.

Now that you have familiarised yourself with the 7 steps standing between you and the perfect essay, let’s take a closer look at each of those stages so that you can get on with crafting your written arguments with confidence . 

This is the most crucial stage in essay writing – r ead the essay prompt carefully and understand the question. Highlight the keywords – like ‘compare,’ ‘contrast’ ‘discuss,’ ‘explain’ or ‘evaluate’ – and let it sink in before your mind starts racing . There is nothing worse than writing 500 words before realising you have entirely missed the brief . 🧐

Unless you are writing under exam conditions , you will most likely have been working towards this essay for some time, by doing thorough background reading. Re-read relevant chapters and sections, highlight pertinent material and maybe even stray outside the designated reading list, this shows genuine interest and extended knowledge. 📚

#3 Make a detailed plan

Following the handy structure we shared with you above, now is the time to create the ‘skeleton structure’ or essay plan. Working from your essay title, plot out what you want your paragraphs to cover and how that information is going to flow. You don’t need to start writing any full sentences yet but it might be useful to think about the various quotes you plan to use to substantiate each section. 📝

Having mapped out the overall trajectory of your essay, you can start to drill down into the detail. First, write the opening sentence for each of the paragraphs in the body section of your essay. Remember – each paragraph is like a mini-essay – the opening sentence should summarise what the paragraph will then go on to explain in more detail. 🖊️

Next, it's time to write the bulk of your words and flesh out your arguments. Follow the ‘point, evidence, explain’ method. The opening sentences – already written – should introduce your ‘points’, so now you need to ‘evidence’ them with corroborating research and ‘explain’ how the evidence you’ve presented proves the point you’re trying to make. ✍️

With a rough draft in front of you, you can take a moment to read what you have written so far. Are there any sections that require further substantiation? Have you managed to include the most relevant material you originally highlighted in your background reading? Now is the time to make sure you have evidenced all your opinions and claims with the strongest quotes, citations and material. 📗

This is your final chance to re-read your essay and go over it with a fine-toothed comb before pressing ‘submit’. We highly recommend leaving a day or two between finishing your essay and the final proofread if possible – you’ll be amazed at the difference this makes, allowing you to return with a fresh pair of eyes and a more discerning judgment. 🤓

If you are looking for advice and support with your own essay-writing adventures, why not t ry a free trial lesson with GoStudent? Our tutors are experts at boosting academic success and having fun along the way. Get in touch and see how it can work for you today. 🎒

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 177 college essay examples for 11 schools + expert analysis.

College Admissions , College Essays

The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!

Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

• 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

• 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
• 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
• 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
• 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
• 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

• 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

• 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

• 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
• 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
• 10 Harvard essays from 2023
• 10 Harvard essays from 2022
• 10 Harvard essays from 2021
• 10 Harvard essays from 2020
• 10 Harvard essays from 2019
• 10 Harvard essays from 2018
• 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

• 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

• Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
• Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
• Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
• Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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College admissions

Course: college admissions   >   unit 4.

• Writing a strong college admissions essay
• Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes
• Brainstorming tips for your college essay
• How formal should the tone of your college essay be?
• Taking your college essay to the next level
• Sample essay 1 with admissions feedback

Sample essay 2 with admissions feedback

• Student story: Admissions essay about a formative experience
• Student story: Admissions essay about personal identity
• Student story: Admissions essay about community impact
• Student story: Admissions essay about a past mistake
• Student story: Admissions essay about a meaningful poem
• Writing tips and techniques for your college essay

Introduction

Sample essay 2, feedback from admissions.

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Your Best College Essay

Maybe you love to write, or maybe you don’t. Either way, there’s a chance that the thought of writing your college essay is making you sweat. No need for nerves! We’re here to give you the important details on how to make the process as anxiety-free as possible.

What's the College Essay?

When we say “The College Essay” (capitalization for emphasis – say it out loud with the capitals and you’ll know what we mean) we’re talking about the 550-650 word essay required by most colleges and universities. Prompts for this essay can be found on the college’s website, the Common Application, or the Coalition Application. We’re not talking about the many smaller supplemental essays you might need to write in order to apply to college. Not all institutions require the essay, but most colleges and universities that are at least semi-selective do.

How do I get started?

Look for the prompts on whatever application you’re using to apply to schools (almost all of the time – with a few notable exceptions – this is the Common Application). If one of them calls out to you, awesome! You can jump right in and start to brainstorm. If none of them are giving you the right vibes, don’t worry. They’re so broad that almost anything you write can fit into one of the prompts after you’re done. Working backwards like this is totally fine and can be really useful!

What if I have writer's block?

You aren’t alone. Staring at a blank Google Doc and thinking about how this is the one chance to tell an admissions officer your story can make you freeze. Thinking about some of these questions might help you find the right topic:

• What is something about you that people have pointed out as distinctive?
• If you had to pick three words to describe yourself, what would they be? What are things you’ve done that demonstrate these qualities?
• What’s something about you that has changed over your years in high school? How or why did it change?
• What’s something you like most about yourself?
• What’s something you love so much that you lose track of the rest of the world while you do it?

If you’re still stuck on a topic, ask your family members, friends, or other trusted adults: what’s something they always think about when they think about you? What’s something they think you should be proud of? They might help you find something about yourself that you wouldn’t have surfaced on your own.  

How do I grab my reader's attention?

It’s no secret that admissions officers are reading dozens – and sometimes hundreds – of essays every day. That can feel like a lot of pressure to stand out. But if you try to write the most unique essay in the world, it might end up seeming forced if it’s not genuinely you. So, what’s there to do? Our advice: start your essay with a story. Tell the reader about something you’ve done, complete with sensory details, and maybe even dialogue. Then, in the second paragraph, back up and tell us why this story is important and what it tells them about you and the theme of the essay.

THE WORD LIMIT IS SO LIMITING. HOW DO I TELL A COLLEGE MY WHOLE LIFE STORY IN 650 WORDS?

Don’t! Don’t try to tell an admissions officer about everything you’ve loved and done since you were a child. Instead, pick one or two things about yourself that you’re hoping to get across and stick to those. They’ll see the rest on the activities section of your application.

I'M STUCK ON THE CONCLUSION. HELP?

If you can’t think of another way to end the essay, talk about how the qualities you’ve discussed in your essays have prepared you for college. Try to wrap up with a sentence that refers back to the story you told in your first paragraph, if you took that route.

SHOULD I PROOFREAD MY ESSAY?

YES, proofread the essay, and have a trusted adult proofread it as well. Know that any suggestions they give you are coming from a good place, but make sure they aren’t writing your essay for you or putting it into their own voice. Admissions officers want to hear the voice of you, the applicant. Before you submit your essay anywhere, our number one advice is to read it out loud to yourself. When you read out loud you’ll catch small errors you may not have noticed before, and hear sentences that aren’t quite right.

ANY OTHER ADVICE?

Be yourself. If you’re not a naturally serious person, don’t force formality. If you’re the comedian in your friend group, go ahead and be funny. But ultimately, write as your authentic (and grammatically correct) self and trust the process.

And remember, thousands of other students your age are faced with this same essay writing task, right now. You can do it!

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What I’ve Learned From My Students’ College Essays

The genre is often maligned for being formulaic and melodramatic, but it’s more important than you think.

By Nell Freudenberger

Most high school seniors approach the college essay with dread. Either their upbringing hasn’t supplied them with several hundred words of adversity, or worse, they’re afraid that packaging the genuine trauma they’ve experienced is the only way to secure their future. The college counselor at the Brooklyn high school where I’m a writing tutor advises against trauma porn. “Keep it brief , ” she says, “and show how you rose above it.”

I started volunteering in New York City schools in my 20s, before I had kids of my own. At the time, I liked hanging out with teenagers, whom I sometimes had more interesting conversations with than I did my peers. Often I worked with students who spoke English as a second language or who used slang in their writing, and at first I was hung up on grammar. Should I correct any deviation from “standard English” to appeal to some Wizard of Oz behind the curtains of a college admissions office? Or should I encourage students to write the way they speak, in pursuit of an authentic voice, that most elusive of literary qualities?

In fact, I was missing the point. One of many lessons the students have taught me is to let the story dictate the voice of the essay. A few years ago, I worked with a boy who claimed to have nothing to write about. His life had been ordinary, he said; nothing had happened to him. I asked if he wanted to try writing about a family member, his favorite school subject, a summer job? He glanced at his phone, his posture and expression suggesting that he’d rather be anywhere but in front of a computer with me. “Hobbies?” I suggested, without much hope. He gave me a shy glance. “I like to box,” he said.

I’ve had this experience with reluctant writers again and again — when a topic clicks with a student, an essay can unfurl spontaneously. Of course the primary goal of a college essay is to help its author get an education that leads to a career. Changes in testing policies and financial aid have made applying to college more confusing than ever, but essays have remained basically the same. I would argue that they’re much more than an onerous task or rote exercise, and that unlike standardized tests they are infinitely variable and sometimes beautiful. College essays also provide an opportunity to learn precision, clarity and the process of working toward the truth through multiple revisions.

When a topic clicks with a student, an essay can unfurl spontaneously.

Even if writing doesn’t end up being fundamental to their future professions, students learn to choose language carefully and to be suspicious of the first words that come to mind. Especially now, as college students shoulder so much of the country’s ethical responsibility for war with their protest movement, essay writing teaches prospective students an increasingly urgent lesson: that choosing their own words over ready-made phrases is the only reliable way to ensure they’re thinking for themselves.

Teenagers are ideal writers for several reasons. They’re usually free of preconceptions about writing, and they tend not to use self-consciously ‘‘literary’’ language. They’re allergic to hypocrisy and are generally unfiltered: They overshare, ask personal questions and call you out for microaggressions as well as less egregious (but still mortifying) verbal errors, such as referring to weed as ‘‘pot.’’ Most important, they have yet to put down their best stories in a finished form.

I can imagine an essay taking a risk and distinguishing itself formally — a poem or a one-act play — but most kids use a more straightforward model: a hook followed by a narrative built around “small moments” that lead to a concluding lesson or aspiration for the future. I never get tired of working with students on these essays because each one is different, and the short, rigid form sometimes makes an emotional story even more powerful. Before I read Javier Zamora’s wrenching “Solito,” I worked with a student who had been transported by a coyote into the U.S. and was reunited with his mother in the parking lot of a big-box store. I don’t remember whether this essay focused on specific skills or coping mechanisms that he gained from his ordeal. I remember only the bliss of the parent-and-child reunion in that uninspiring setting. If I were making a case to an admissions officer, I would suggest that simply being able to convey that experience demonstrates the kind of resilience that any college should admire.

The essays that have stayed with me over the years don’t follow a pattern. There are some narratives on very predictable topics — living up to the expectations of immigrant parents, or suffering from depression in 2020 — that are moving because of the attention with which the student describes the experience. One girl determined to become an engineer while watching her father build furniture from scraps after work; a boy, grieving for his mother during lockdown, began taking pictures of the sky.

If, as Lorrie Moore said, “a short story is a love affair; a novel is a marriage,” what is a college essay? Every once in a while I sit down next to a student and start reading, and I have to suppress my excitement, because there on the Google Doc in front of me is a real writer’s voice. One of the first students I ever worked with wrote about falling in love with another girl in dance class, the absolute magic of watching her move and the terror in the conflict between her feelings and the instruction of her religious middle school. She made me think that college essays are less like love than limerence: one-sided, obsessive, idiosyncratic but profound, the first draft of the most personal story their writers will ever tell.

Nell Freudenberger’s novel “The Limits” was published by Knopf last month. She volunteers through the PEN America Writers in the Schools program.

Rick Hess Straight Up

Education policy maven Rick Hess of the American Enterprise Institute think tank offers straight talk on matters of policy, politics, research, and reform. Read more from this blog.

Does School Choice ‘Work’?

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In “Straight Talk with Rick and Jal,” Harvard University’s Jal Mehta and I examine the reforms and enthusiasms that permeate education. In a field full of buzzwords, our goal is simple: Tell the truth, in plain English, about what’s being proposed and what it means for students, teachers, and parents. We may be wrong and we will frequently disagree, but we’ll try to be candid and ensure that you don’t need a Ph.D. in eduspeak to understand us.

Today’s topic is educational choice and whether it “works.”

Rick: It’s been another busy spring for educational choice, so let’s dig into the heated debate about whether choice “works.” Here’s where I’m coming from: I’ve supported full-spectrum educational choice since the last century, including intradistrict choice, charter schooling, school vouchers, education savings accounts (ESA), and the rest. That said, regular readers also know that I’m critical of the absolutist rhetoric favored by some choice advocates, over-the-top claims for choice, and the insistence that choice works. As I see it, educational choice is part of the answer to our challenges, but it isn’t the answer. Choice enables more parents to find options that are right for their child, creates more room for the emergence of promising new options, and offers educators more say as to where they’ll work. These are all very good things.

But educational choice programs are no one thing. They vary dramatically, from relatively restricted open-enrollment programs that give students some choice among district schools to ambitious ESA programs that radically reimagine how schooling works. Just within charter schooling, there are vast differences from state to state in who is permitted to authorize schools, how they are authorized, the goals they are required to meet, and so forth. Broadly asserting that choice is “good” (or “bad”) ignores that it means many different things depending on context, policy, and practice.

In short, choice isn’t a bag of magic beans. Worse, suggesting it is makes it less likely that anyone will do the hard work necessary to make choice programs deliver. Ultimately, the how of choice matters mightily. How tough is it for good new schools or programs to emerge? How do we ensure that scam artists aren’t ripping off families and taxpayers? How do parents find out what the options are? How does the financing work? The answers to questions like these determine whether a school choice program works for the families that participate or not.

Anyway, that’s how I tend to approach all this. Curious to hear your take, especially given how much you’ve thought about these issues in the context of your scholarship on institutions and deeper learning.

Jal: Yet again, there is a surprising amount of agreement here. Choice can mean very different things depending on the context and the nature of the regulations. In some states, even fairly proven providers can’t open new schools, whereas in others, licenses are offered to schools that have no track record or plan. As I’ve talked with graduate students coming from all over the nation, their views of choice often vary significantly depending on what state they are coming from.

From an innovation perspective, I think the hopes of the choice movement have not been realized. Charter schools, in particular, were created based on the idea that they would use the freedoms they had been granted to try out new possibilities, which might, over time, influence traditional public schools. But in practice, most charter schools, including a number of the most well-known ones, have mostly just done the same old thing—the same seven-period days, same subjects, same teaching methods. Even Nina Rees, the former head of the National Alliance for Public Charter Schools, acknowledges that charter schools frequently haven’t been as innovative as their advocates have hoped. The reasons for this are almost overdetermined: Teachers teach as they were taught, parents expect school to look the same as what they experienced, external measures like state tests and college admissions reward conformity, etc.

If we wanted to take advantage of some of the benefits of choice to generate more genuine innovation, we would need to make some changes. For instance, we would have to alter the external ecosystem: If we want schools to be organized around students doing more authentic work, then schools have to be evaluated on the basis of students doing that kind of authentic work. These evaluations might include performance assessments or balanced scorecard-style dashboards. Or it might look like the state getting out of the business of measuring outcomes entirely and trusting that parents will be able to select the schools that work for their kids, without having one set of measures that standardizes everything. (Ted Sizer advocated market over state accountability for this reason in The Red Pencil .) A more split-the-middle option would be to have the state perform periodic accreditation reviews, such as those that are used in England. This would allow schools to experiment as they like but offer some protections that public institutions are meeting a certain floor of public goals.

What do you think, Rick? Has choice produced “innovation”? How do we create quality without standardization?

Rick: You know, it’s almost disturbing how much common ground we find in these exchanges, even surrounded by frenzied hyperbole (with Kentucky’s lieutenant governor recently thundering that “‘school choice’ is nothing more than welfare for the well-to-do”). I’m always struck how crazy it is that we’ve ceded so much ground to the self-interested industry of outrage-peddling politicos and culture-war grifters.

But that’s a sermon I’ve preached many times, so I’ll get back to the point. I agree with you both that choice works largely by creating room for better solutions to emerge . . . and that it mostly hasn’t. As you note, this is due to the failure (of even its supporters) to embrace the kind of ecosystem that fuels rethinking. For me, it’s useful to think of this as a humane, organic vision of school improvement. Now, talk of choice as “humane” and “organic” can sound odd when the debate is filled with talk of “wars on public education” and “failing public schools.” But all this wild-eyed rhetoric misses the mark. The promise of choice is not that, tomorrow, schools will magically be “better.” The promise of choice-based systems is that, over time, they create room for educators and families to build better solutions.

This should all be intuitive to anyone who’s spent much time talking school improvement with principals or district leaders. Conversations are peppered with phrases like, “I’d like to do this, but the contract requires . . . ,” “I’d like to pay them more, but HR says . . . ,” or “I’d love to move those dollars, but we’re not allowed. . . .” Educators wrestle with layers of rules, regulations, and contract provisions. That’s why choice can be so appealing: It can make it easier for educators to pioneer promising new school models. School vouchers and ESAs make it feasible to offer alternatives to low-income families who’ve long felt trapped in local schools. Charter schooling enables educators to get a new school approved by a charter authorizer without having to spend years pleading with district officials for flexibility, facilities, and approval.

This kind of inertia is hardly unique to education. Older organizations are rarely good at managing change. They tend to grow rigid, routinized, and hierarchical with time, making it tougher to leverage new technologies or meet changing needs. That’s why the average life span of a Fortune 500 company is just 50 years. When we tell educators they’ve no path other than “fixing” aged systems or schools, we put them in a nearly impossible position.

That’s one reason I’m optimistic about choice today, in the wake of the pandemic. As I noted in The Great School Rethink , the emergence of microschools, learning pods, and hybrid home schools; the adoption of large-scale ESA programs; and the explosion of home schooling have together changed the choice landscape. Choice is no longer mostly about a handful of broadly similar urban charter school networks; today, it’s far more decentralized, dynamic, and geographically dispersed. Of course, these new changes have also surfaced new challenges, ranging from accountability for public funds to questions of staffing and logistics. Our ability to thoughtfully navigate these will determine the success of this next era of educational choice.

Wondering what you make of this changing landscape and what it means going forward, pal.

Jal: Embracing a “humane and organic” approach to school reform? If you don’t watch out, you’re going to get kicked out of the GOP, Rick.

I agree with your idea that the emerging choice landscape—particularly the growth of home schooling, learning pods, and microschools—is much more varied in its goals, means, and approaches than the charter schools that dominated the dialogue in the aughts and 2010s. There also seems to be a much more fundamental willingness to rethink what is taken for granted. This can range from parents who want to resist the standardizing pressures of schools to those whose kids aren’t being served well by the peer or racial dynamics of such schools.

There isn’t yet much research about these efforts, so what I know about them is pretty partial. But still, there is a sense that these folks are motivated by a much more human focus than past reformers. Rather than being committed to grand ideals like social mobility for other people’s children, these are people who are looking at their own kids not as abstractions but as real human beings who are not being served well by school. We can hope that what they generate is much more varied and authentic and that it serves the wide diversity of interests that young people bring to the table.

At the same time, the idea of unschooling and escaping the conformity of public education is not a new one, nor is it a surefire way to educate children successfully. Experience suggests that there are certain Romantic ideas that will turn out to be not entirely true. While intrinsic motivation and self-directed learning are important (and in much too short supply in regular public schools), for most kids, they won’t be sufficient without some structure, community, and routine. Some kids listen better to other adults than they do to their own parents. Thus, there is a lot to be figured out in this emerging world: Who should “teach”; what sorts of structures, communities, and routines should replace the ones previously provided by school; and what models work and for which kids.

To make this a bit more personal, we were home schoolers for most of one year during the COVID-19 pandemic. We had a bright 6-year-old who was bored by virtual school and would click “leave meeting” rather than partake in the community-building activities his school had designed for 1st graders. We enrolled him and his best friend in a little school in our living room. We used some materials for science and social studies that my wife found on a home-schooling site and signed up for Beast Academy , a virtual math program for bright kids who like math. Beast Academy was a hit and lasted well past the pandemic. The home-schooling materials we got were more mixed: Some landed and some didn’t. For ELA, we had him read (what he wanted) and write (what he wanted). This was good, but only worked because his kindergarten teacher had already taught him to read. Eventually, the friend had to go back to school, and our son got sad and lonely without him, and so he went back to school. The lesson here is that what we call “school” is really a bundle of things—curriculum in different subjects, teachers, friends, specials—all of which have to be replaced in ways that work. This is much easier said than done.

One obvious question is what the role of the state is in this process. When we home schooled, we just had to fill out a form with the district at the beginning of the year saying what we were going to do and then one at the end saying what we had done. This seems a little light to me. I think some kind of performance of understanding in different domains is important to ensure that real learning has taken place. But the trick, as is always the case with any alternative arrangement, is that if we put too tight strictures on what counts, we are going to lose the innovation that choice can potentially unleash. Finding a way to manage this balance is the key to making the new choice movement more innovative than the old.

The opinions expressed in Rick Hess Straight Up are strictly those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinions or endorsement of Editorial Projects in Education, or any of its publications.

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PHOTOS: Ballou High School students get VIP prom night escort as winner of essay contest

by Andrew Inches, JeanneTyler Moodee Lockman

WASHINGTON (7News) — Thursday night was prom night at Ballou High School in D.C.

Some lucky students got to ride to their big night in style with a full police escort and motorcade.

The D.C. tradition began in 2007.

Every year the school holds an essay writing contest and the winners get a first-class police escort to the big dance.

They put on a show with a party bus and motorcycles. They get VIP treatment all the way around.

7News Photojournalist Andrew Inches captured sights and sounds from the night.

The Shenandoah County School Board’s Terrible History Lesson

O n May 10, 2024, 161 years to the day after General Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson’s last breath fighting for the Confederate insurrection intended to continue enslavement of human beings in America, the Shenandoah County School Board voted 5-1 to restore his name on a high school in rural Virginia.

More than 50 concerned community members, students, and parents, including one of the first African Americans to integrate Stonewall Jackson High School in 1963, and hundreds of their supporters, continued to advocate a new reckoning of the county’s heritage of enslavement, segregation, and racial injustice. They affirmed the names a community committee selected in 2021 renaming the school as Mountain View High and another school named after Confederate generals Turner Ashby and Robert E. Lee as Honey Run Elementary.

But the school board heard none of it. Instead, the board sided with those idolizing the faith and loyalty of “heroes” like Jackson, condemning pandemic-related processes that did not take into account the voices of “we the people,” and complaining about “woke outsiders.” At the end of the board meeting, the board had delivered a disgraceful new chapter in our community’s history and a terrible lesson for the children they are sworn to educate.

Historians will debate the consequences of the board’s vote and perhaps whether the nation’s current political mood has rekindled racial tensions. But the school board members and their embittered supporters made it clear that the shadows of our segregated past still loom large.

For context, we should look at 2020, particularly the 8 minutes and 46 seconds of video that emblazoned the truth of racial injustice in America. After George Floyd’s murder by police in May of that year, national, state, and local leaders across the nation took up resolutions against racism, including Shenandoah County’s Board of Supervisors and the county School Board.

At around the same time in our mountain-cradled county, another incident reminded us of America’s lingering racial unrest: an encounter between a white mob and a black pastor in Edinburg, Va. On June 1, 2020, Pastor McCray approached a couple illegally dumping a refrigerator on his property, asking them to leave. They left, returned with three more people and began “attacking him physically, saying ‘they don’t give a darn’ about ‘my black life and the Black Lives Matter stuff,’ and telling him they would ‘kill’ him,” according to Associated Press reports. McCray put distance between himself and the mob by brandishing a gun that he was legally licensed to carry. When the police arrived, they arrested the Black man with the gun.

The Shenandoah County Sheriff later apologized for the incident, but it reinforces the need for formal resolutions against racism and leaders willing to make difficult decisions for a more inclusive community. The Shenandoah County School Board at the time agreed. They chose action, encouraged by then-Department of Education secretary Atif Qarni and then-Governor Ralph Northam, both of whom supported statewide removal of Confederate leaders’ names of public schools.

The 2020 school board, tying in as the next step to its June “Resolution condemning racism and affirming the division’s commitment to an inclusive school environment for all,” retired the names of Confederate leaders, and developed a process for community and student input into choosing more unifying public school names. On September 10, 2020, the then school board reaffirmed the foregoing motion, as well as moving forward with renaming the schools on southern campus. Community committees met during the next three months, with new names chosen at the January 14, 2021 meeting, after seven months of public input.

By 2024, recently elected school board members focused their arguments for restoration on the former board’s “secret” process during the COVID “plan-demic,” stating that community input was not taken into account at the time. Two years before, three current school board members ran on a campaign to restore the school’s Confederate leader names, an attempt that ended at the June 9, 2022 school board meeting with a 3-3 stalemate. The current board consists of three more new school board members, elected in the fall of 2023. Like many school boards around the nation, ours has committed to reversing civil rights often under the lost-cause banner of Confederate pride.

The memory of Stonewall Jackson High School as a whites-only public institution until its integration in 1963 is not a distant echo of history but an agonizing experience for many Black residents of Shenandoah County. These individuals are not just statistics in history books; they are our neighbors, friends, and family—and they were intentionally harmed in Shenandoah County as the Civil Rights movement gained momentum in the 1950s.

Read More: Confederate Monuments and Other Disputed Memorials Have Come Down in Cities Across America. What Should Take Their Place?

And now again in 2024. Dozens of citizens, alum, parents, and current students of the schools addressed the board, offering poignant testimony about lived experiences with institutionalized discrimination or in support of others who had. Approximately two-thirds of the speakers opposed back-naming the schools. For them, returning to Confederate leader names makes the damage linger.

Aliyah Ogle, a student who represented her school in three sports this year and would be attending the renamed high school next year, said it best: “I'm a black student and if the name is restored, I would have to represent a man that fought for my ancestors to be slaves. That makes me feel like I'm disrespecting my ancestors and going against what my family and I believe, which is that we should all be treated equally, and that slavery was a cruel and awful thing.”

Most of the board members could not have cared less about the county’s 252 year history. They were more concerned for judging the 2020 school board’s actions and recognizing the Confederate heritage of the county. Their brand of leadership consisted of telling the people they represent that we all have problems of one kind or another; it’s time to move on. “War is hell,” said Dennis Barlow, chairman of the Shenandoah County School Board. They were joined by two dozen pro-Confederacy speakers, claiming there is no evident racism in Shenandoah County, and never has been.

Board member Tom Streett used his decision to discuss pro-slavery General Jackson. “When you read about this man — who he was, what he stood for, his character, his loyalty, his leadership, how Godly a man he was — those standards that he had were much higher than any leadership of the school system in 2020,” Streett said.

Streett, however, neglected to mention that even Jackson’s descendants have weighed in on this legacy issue. For the past seven years, the general’s great-great grandsons, William Jackson Christian and Warren Edmund Christian, have said they support removing Confederate statues and other monuments—including in Shenandoah County this week—as “part of a larger project of actively mending the racial disparities that hundreds of years of white supremacy have wrought.” They added that they were “ashamed to benefit from white supremacy while our black family and friends suffer.”

Yet Shenandoah County’s school board and its grievance agenda does nothing to provide historical context, advance dialogue, or heal the feelings of well-meaning citizens. Using the same policy the 2021 school board used to name Mountain View and Honey Run, the 2024 board defiantly focused on undoing the decision and giving voice to the people they wanted to hear. The decision unfairly places our children as pawns on a rhetorical battlefield, keeping the board’s focus on vengeance and political control—not due process or heritage. But it’s more dangerous than just talk and hard feelings: The county remains on the radar of the Southern Poverty Law Center , which tracks white supremacists, including ongoing activity by the Patriot Front. To address this reality, we need better, sensible leadership from our school board. But for now, we must live with a stark reminder that elections have consequences.

Looking ahead, the many good people of our county will strive to ensure that our complete history, good and bad, remains available to students and the public. We must find a way to truly honor our whole heritage without insisting that students salute pro-slavery traitors or the treatment of their ancestors as subhuman property for almost 400 years.

If the U.S. Department of Defense can rename military bases once emblazoned with Confederate leaders’ names, then our public schools can do the same. After all, these are the spaces where the first lessons of civic duties are learned. History is complicated, no doubt, but there’s no better place to examine complex issues than in a good school. Other nations and communities reckon with difficult pasts. In Germany, for example, students still learn about Adolf Hitler, but they are not forced to wear sports jerseys and school-pride t-shirts that glorify symbols or names associated with murderous war crimes.

Our fight for what’s right in Shenandoah County is not over. We will continue to oppose historical injustices and help all constituencies in our community learn from the lessons of our past. As it has throughout our nation’s history, the work of decent people striving for a better, more united America will go on. We hope the school board here can find a way to join us along the way.

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Park City High School Latinos in Action student awarded scholarship for ‘stronger together’ essays

A Park City High School Latinos in Action student recently won a big scholarship at the organization’s regional conference. Here's more on one student’s story.

Latinos in Action is a national group meant to empower Latino youth and prepare them for college and careers. LIA programs are year-long elective courses at the middle school, junior high or high school level. The program also hosts conferences with workshops and competitions.

At this year’s LIA Conference for Central and Northern Utah, Park City High School LIA advisor Jake Jobe said students received multiple scholarships and awards.

“It was probably like the most successful year we've ever had at the at the conference,” he said.

Leslie Juarez, Anneliese Carreto and Melani Juarez won first place in the short film competition. Katy Munoz won third place in the writing competition. Eimee Meneses won one of four general scholarships.

Park City High School LIA president Jessica Loya won the writing competition and got the top Jose Cebellos Scholarship award at the conference. Both of her essays followed the conference’s theme: stronger together.

For her scholarship essay, Loya wrote about how her cultural values have influenced who she is as a student and person and the value of the LIA program.

“I looked up to peers when I was younger, and they tutored us at the elementary level," she said. "Now at the high school level, I'm one of the tutors.”

Loya said she has enjoyed being part of LIA because it opens doors to different opportunities, like the conference, and it allows students to be surrounded by others with similar backgrounds and goals. However, Loya said LIA also taught her to be a leader. In her essay, she wrote about participating in district board meetings to help adopt an equity policy and going to the Park City Council to advocate for affordable housing.

For the writing competition, Loya wrote about how unifying language can be.

“I wrote about Spanish, and how it's my first language," she said. "Yet, sometimes I felt like my English dominance or fluency was greater.”

In the essay, Loya wrote her dad once said to her, “Hablan mejor los misioneros mormones,” meaning Mormon missionaries speak better. She was embarrassed, but Loya said it was true and many Hispanic kids have heard something similar. The comment pushed her to work on her Spanish and she became an LIA tutor. With progress, she connected the language with film, music, food, art, traditions and culture.

At the end of the writing competition essay, Loya wrote there are 486 million Spanish speakers in this world, and they are all stronger together.

Loya will be attending the University of Utah this fall. While she is unsure what career path she wants to pursue, she wrote in her scholarship essay she does know who she wants to be: “a good daughter who can share new experiences with her parents,” “a good sister who can guide her little sister through challenges her parents are unfamiliar with and can support her older brother toward a lifestyle he can thrive in,” and “a good student who seeks learning opportunities outside the classroom.” Loya also wrote she wants to be financially independent to “support her family and give back to her community.”

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Lahaina Teachers Say More Help Is Needed For Struggling West Maui Schools

The teachers' union is asking for more pay and leave benefits as educators continue to deal with the aftermath of the wildfires.

The teachers’ union is asking for more pay and leave benefits as educators continue to deal with the aftermath of the wildfires.

Teacher retention and student safety are top of mind for West Maui families and school and union leaders as an academic year marked by deadly wildfires comes to a close. 

Since August, enrollment at Lahaina’s four public schools has dropped by roughly 1,000 students. Some families are still hesitant to return their children to the campuses next year, citing concerns around emergency preparedness and the mental health toll of attending classes near the burn zone.

In addition to a declining student population, the teachers’ union predicts that Lahaina schools may face greater challenges recruiting and retaining educators next year. Some teachers say the Hawaii Department of Education has failed to support its employees after the fires by not offering additional leave and flexibility for teachers who needed to find housing and move out of West Maui. 

Lahaina teachers are also asking for more counselors and mental health support for students next school year.

The union is now mobilizing to push the superintendent and Hawaii Board of Education to fulfill educators’ requests, including pay raises for Lahaina teachers and expanded paid leave benefits.   

DOE had already designated Lahaina as a hard-to-staff location in 2020 due to the area’s high number of teacher vacancies and emergency hires. 

“It’s just incredibly stressful for so many people,” said Jarrett Chapin, an English teacher at Lahainaluna High. 

Staffing Challenges

Even before the fires, hiring teachers in Lahaina was difficult, Chapin said. Housing was scarce, and the cost of living was high — even with the annual $5,000 bonus Lahaina teachers have received since 2020 due to severe staffing shortages in the area. 

The union has asked DOE to raise the annual bonus to $8,000 in response to the rising cost of living on Maui. The department said in March it would not fulfill the request, although superintendent Keith Hayashi said Thursday that it’s an option he’s now willing to consider.

Hayashi added that the department has provided mental health support to students and teachers through staff trainings, partnerships with the Department of Health, online platforms and more.

Earlier this month, the department was hiring for five teaching positions at Princess Nahienaena Elementary, King Kamehameha III Elementary and Lahainaluna High School. The department said funding for Lahaina schools will not drastically decline next year but did not specify if it will be hiring fewer teachers than usual because of reduced student enrollment. 

In Wailuku, Iao Intermediate is currently hiring seven teachers for next year, while Wailuku Elementary is hiring four teachers. Schools in other parts of Maui are facing similar hiring needs.

Andrea Eshelman, deputy director and chief negotiator for HSTA, said she’s concerned more teachers will leave their jobs at the end of the year because of severe housing shortages in West Maui and DOE’s lackluster response to supporting faculty after the fires. HSTA previously asked DOE to provide post-disaster leave or mileage reimbursement to teachers who lost their homes in the fires and relocated from West Maui, but the department rejected the requests.

In response, HSTA has begun a petition asking DOE to initiate a program that would allow teachers to donate their sick days to Maui teachers affected by the fires. As of Thursday, the petition received over 600 signatures from union members across the state, and over 20 teachers testified at Thursday’s BOE meeting asking the department to establish the leave bank and provide additional support for educators.

The bank would allow Maui teachers to take paid time off to address the aftermath of the fires.

During Thursday’s meeting, Lahainaluna teacher Michelle Abad Brummel said she lost her home in the fires and is temporarily living in South Maui. Her family spends nearly $500 each month on gas, and she’s resorted to using sick days to visit her home in the burn zone since DOE didn’t offer additional leave to teachers affected by the fires. 

“There will be one less good teacher in a school already in need,” Abad Brummel said.

Ashley Olson, a teacher at Lahainaluna, said DOE should also provide more mental health support to staff and students. DOE has made crisis counseling and mental health providers available to Lahaina staff, but Olson said she would like professionals to consistently check in with teachers and proactively offer their help.

“I’m pretty unimpressed with the progress we’ve made,” Olson said. “Do better by all of Maui.”

BOE members agreed with teachers’ requests on Thursday and said they would offer more support in the next school year.

“We heard you loud and clear,” said board member Makana McClellan.

Alternative Learning Options

Before the August fires, the four Lahaina public schools served around 3,000 students. Next year, their combined enrollment is expected to drop to roughly 2,000. 

In November, DOE estimated that most of the students who had not yet returned to Lahaina campuses had enrolled in other public schools on Maui. A smaller percentage of students had moved out of state or enrolled in Hawaii schools outside of the DOE.

Rita McClintock, who lives in Kaanapali, has no plans to return her daughter to Lahaina Intermediate in the fall. In September, McClintock enrolled her daughter in Hawaii Technology Academy, a charter school that began offering hybrid classes in West Maui within a month of the fires.

The school initially offered instruction out of the Door of Faith Church in Lahaina but moved into the space formerly occupied by Kapalua’s Pineapple Grill restaurant in March.

McClintock said she believed DOE campuses had safe water and air quality after the Department of Health completed extensive testing on the schools in the fall. But she worried about whether DOE had adequate safety plans in place if another fire began near the schools. 

“I trusted the science, but I didn’t necessarily trust they had a plan in place if they got bad news,” McClintock said. 

Now, McClintock said, she plans on keeping her daughter at HTA until eighth grade. She doesn’t want to disrupt her daughter’s education, she added, and she’s found a place that offers her family stability. 

Ginny Kamohalii-Dew, community coordinator for HTA’s Lahaina campus, said they expect approximately 60% of students to return to the school next year. Many families are moving out of West Maui, she added, and can no longer make the commute to campus. The school enrolls roughly 115 students.

The charter school placed a strong emphasis on children’s mental health and recovery this year, she said, adding that she’s especially proud of students’ end-of-year projects that reimagined what Lahaina could look like once it’s fully rebuilt.  

“If our kids leave happy this year, we’ve done enough,” Kamohalii-Dew said. 

Other families are still unsure about their children’s futures. 

Before the fires, Miriam Keo’s two children attended the Hawaiian immersion program offered at Lahaina Intermediate. Since March, Lahaina’s Hawaiian immersion students have attended classes at the temporary campus for King Kamehameha III Elementary. 

The department hasn’t decided if Hawaiian immersion students can remain on the temporary campus next year, and Keo said she’s still considering her family’s options for next year. Like McClintock, she’s not convinced students would be able to evacuate safely during emergencies but wants her children to remain in the same school as their peers.

“I just want to keep my keiki wherever the majority goes,” Keo said.

Civil Beat’s education reporting is supported by a grant from Chamberlin Family Philanthropy.

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About the Author

Megan Tagami is a reporter covering education for Civil Beat. You can reach her by email at [email protected]

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5 served in Vietnam, 1 came home: Vero Beach High School survivor remembers '66 classmates

The Vietnam War took a heavy toll on the students and families of Vero Beach High School’s Class of 1966. As our involvement in the war deepened, and especially after North Vietnam launched its deadly Tet Offensive, the news of our classmates serving in the Army and killed in action began arriving home one by one:

Spc.4 James Ellis Loudermilk, Dec. 27,1967; Pfc. Franklin Clovis, Feb. 8, 1968; Sgt. Stephan Max Wiggins, March 30, 1968, and, 1 st Lt. Mark Jackson, Oct. 28,1969.  

For the sleepy little town of Vero Beach, and especially the Class of ’66, the Vietnam War was no longer some distant, emotionless event viewed only on the evening news with Walter Cronkite.

These were our classmates. They were our friends. Their lives held as much promise as any of ours. But they answered their nation’s call to arms fighting for their country in Vietnam. 

About the author: Vero Beach dropout reflects on IRSC career, having had life 'scared into him' in Vietnam

The following accounts of our VBHS classmates' respective fates were confirmed by interviewing eyewitnesses, conducting internet searches that produced podcasts, military documents, and written accounts posted on their Army units' websites, the YouTube channel, True Stories of the Vietnam War and several books with detailed accounts of the specific battles where they lost their lives.

On this Memorial Day, I’m honored to share the stories of their fate and final moments of life with their hometown community.

As the saying goes, “The fallen will only be forgotten if we fail to tell their stories!”

Pfc. Franklin Clovis

Franklin arrived in Vietnam on Jan 15, 1968, and was assigned to the 2 nd platoon of Alpha Company, 198 th Light Infantry Brigade. On Thursday morning Feb. 8, Franklin’s 2 nd platoon anchored the left flank of the company’s horizontal skirmish line when they encountered a dike the villagers used to traverse the muddy rice paddy. Hoping to provoke the enemy into revealing their relative strength and armaments, they were ordered to empty a magazine of ammunition into the tree line, disguising the village. 

The battle-hardened North Vietnamese soldiers (NVA) complied by immediately launching human-wave assaults, supported by overwhelming gunfire from their arsenal of weapons. But it was a protrusion in the S-shaped section of the tree line directly in front of Franklin’s 2 nd platoon that created the perilous and inescapable death trap for them. 

By placing the enemy 50 yards closer to the dike than the rest of the forward units, the NVA in the protruding section of the tree line had low-crawled the remaining distance to the dike, where they remained concealed until the 2nd platoon had finished emptying their magazine of ammunition. 

Now the NVA unleashed their savage ambush on Franklin’s 2 nd platoon. They swarmed out of the trench line from their concealed positions on the other side of the dike, making the feared hand-to-hand combat unavoidable. The NVA was so close that many of the men didn’t even have time to insert another clip of ammunition before the enemy was on top of them. 

The 2nd platoon had walked straight into the vortex of the deadly ambush and was quickly being outflanked, encircled and overrun by the numerically superior force. 

Eyewitnesses have Franklin’s 2 nd platoon fighting with everything and anything they had ― rifle butts, handguns, bayonets, helmets, hand-to-hand — it was a ferocious and terrifying fight to the death. To make matters worse, 2 nd platoon and the NVA were so intermingled and engaged in such close-quarter fighting that none of the other platoons could fire in support for fear of risking casualties from friendly fire.

Not wanting to risk losing the entire company, the order was given to withdraw. But it was too late for Franklin’s 2 nd platoon. By enveloping their position, the NVA had cut off their escape route and ended any chance of them surviving the ambush. 

Cut off, Franklin remained at the dike to help provide the cover fire that allowed Alpha Company to gather its wounded and withdraw to safety. After supporting the withdrawal, Franklin rejoined a defensive position at the dike, where he fought valiantly and killed numerous NVA soldiers until he, too, fell mortally wounded. 

Franklin was 20 years old. His headstone is in Section G, Block 2, Lot 021, Space B of Crestlawn Cemetery in Vero Beach. 

1 st Lt. Mark Jackson

Mark arrived in Vietnam July 13, 1969, and was assigned to D Troop, 3rd Squadron, 4th Calvary, 25th Infantry Division. On Tuesday, Oct. 28, Mark was flying a visual reconnaissance mission in his Hughes OH-6 Cayuse light observation helicopter supported by a Bell AH-1 Cobra attack helicopter.

The helicopter tactics developed for Vietnam partnered an observation helicopter (scout) with a heavily armed gunship (Cobra), to create hunter-killer teams. The hunter (scout) would track the enemy by deploying its state-of-the-art human-tracking technology, the people sniffer. 

The bloodhound-analogous technology allowed the scout pilots to track their foe by following the scent trails created from food prep or lingering odors from such human excrements as urine, feces and sweat. Once the scout’s people-sniffer had pinpointed the enemy’s position, the heavily armed Cobra would swoop in and expend its inventory of rocket and machine gun ordnance to decimate the enemy force.   

At approximately 10 on Tuesday morning Oct. 28, Mark dropped his scout down and started following a prominent enemy trail that ended in a wall of trees that stood some 75 to 100 feet tall. And when Mark reached the tree line, the enemy unleashed a hail of automatic weapons fire, knocking his scout out of the sky. 

Circling above in their Cobra gunship, the aircraft commander, Lt. Sam Dooling, and pilot-gunner CW2 Jack Craig, observed Mark’s helicopter nosedive and crash into the dense tree line below.

Following the green-and-yellow tracer trail from the enemy’s gunfire to pinpoint their position, they expended the Cobra’s inventory of rocket and machine gun ammunition directly into the area.

Once the gunfire was suppressed, they landed the Cobra gunship and attempted to rescue Mark, his crew chief and forward observer. After Jack and Sam pulled the two crew members to safety, Jack crawled on top of the mangled scout and squirmed through an almost impenetrable wall of thick jungle vegetation to reach the pilot’s bubble. But unfortunately, he found Mark had sustained a fatal head wound and had been killed instantly.

Mark was 21. His headstone is in Section A, Block 1, Lot 092, Space A of Crestlawn Cemetery. 

Spc. 4 James Ellis Loudermilk

James arrived in Vietnam on April 24, 1967, and was assigned to Charlie Company, 4 th Battalion, 12 th Infantry, 199 th Light Infantry Brigade. James was the radio operator for the first platoon and was attached at the hip with his platoon leader, 1 st Lt. Richard Solczyk.

At 8:15 Wednesday morning, Dec. 27, Charlie Company boarded helicopters to pursue an elusive enemy force in the Bien Hoa region. The company was on the ground by 8:30 a.m. and moved out in pursuit of the combined North Vietnamese Army and Vietcong force that had remained concealed and undetected by the jungle’s triple-layered canopy. 

Around 9:25 a.m., the company came across two Vietcong bodies lying near an abandoned bunker complex. After finding a blood trail, the battalion was contacted to have a combat-tracker team flown in to find the elusive enemy. Once the dogs and handlers arrived, the four platoons were collapsed into a column of twos to quicken the pace and minimize the noise from a large body of men trekking through the dense jungle foliage.  

At approximately 2 p.m., the trackers spotted three Vietcong setting up a huge (36 inches in diameter), Claymore-type mine directly in the path of the approaching company. The handlers paused to send directions back to the column to go around the mine and avoid the deadly blast radius. Once passed, they could cut the wires and disable the explosive device. 

As the lead column approached the mine’s location, Solzcyk and James went left with the 1 st squad, while the 2 nd squad went right to avoid the deadly blast area. But for some inexplicable reason, Solzcyk discarded the scout team’s warning and left the safety of the line. With his radiotelephone operator in tow, he moved toward the mine for a closer look. And when Solzcyk and James entered the kill zone, one of the three previously observed Vietcong detonated the mine from his concealed position. 

A lightly wounded Spc. 4 Tim Szelagowski rushed forward to see if he could offer assistance to his platoon leader and radiotelephone operator, but unfortunately, he found that Solczyk had been killed instantly and James was mortally wounded. James spent his last few seconds of life in Szelagowski’s arms, where he took his final breath. 

James was 20 years old.  His headstone is in Section G, Block 2, Lot 032, Space A of Crestlawn Cemetery. 

Sgt. Stephan Max Wiggins

Steve arrived in Vietnam on July 28, 1967, and was assigned to C-Troop, 3 rd Squadron, 5 th Calvary, 9 th Infantry Division. 

As track commander of the 16-track (1 st platoon, #6 armored vehicle), Steve occupied the cupola seat on top of the track and manned the 50-caliber machine gun. Each track was also equipped with two M-60 machine guns to bolster firepower. 

On Saturday March 30, 1968, C-Troop was conducting a search-and-destroy mission in an area where they had received intelligence reports of enemy activity. Around 1:30 p.m., C-Troop's six armored vehicles were in an online (horizontal) assault position with the tracks spaced 20-25 yards apart, when they encountered a hedge-row-type obstacle that the tracks had paused to negotiate.

Except for Steve's 16-track.

Unlike the other armored vehicles, there was a break in the berm directly in front of Steve’s vehicle, allowing it to continue moving forward unimpeded. After advancing some 20-25 yards ahead of the others, Steve’s 16-track entered the kill zone of an awaiting NVA ambush.  

Out front, Steve’s vehicle functioned like a huge metal magnet as the enemy concentrated its barrage of rocket, machine gun and automatic weapons fire in an attempt to destroy the intruder that had encroached on their entrenched position.  

According to Steve’s best friend and eyewitness, Sgt. Ed Kosmalski, multiple rocket-propelled grenades scored direct hits on the front, sides and rear of Steve’s vehicle, while automatic weapons and machine gun fire simultaneously riddled the lightly armored track.  The intense hailstorm of rocket explosions and other pyrotechnics set the 16-track on fire and blew Steve out of the track commander’s position, toppling him to the ground. 

With the battle still raging, C-Troop’s medic, Spc. 4 Earnest Garcia, rushed forward to aid Steve, but found him mortally wounded from the numerous rocket fragmentations and bullet wounds he had sustained during the initial torrent of enemy fire. 

Steve was 20 years old. His headstone is in Section G, Block 2, Lot 045, Space B of Crestlawn Cemetery.  

Harvey Arnold, 76, of Tallahassee, was classmates of the aforementioned men before dropping out of school and joining the Army in January 1965. He served a year in Vietnam before returning home, getting his education, including a Ph.D. in economics, and serving as a professor and administrator at Indian River State College for 44 years, including 17 as provost/president of the Ken Pruitt Campus in Port St. Lucie. Email: [email protected]

Dover middle school students nominate their heroes, tell them why in their own words

Dover Area Middle School students invited their heroes to school on May 22 to hear, in their own words, why they were chosen. Parents, teachers, coaches and soldiers were among those chosen by students.

Students wrote the essays ahead of time and then invited their heroes to the assembly where students sat at long tables with their heroes to hear why they were chosen.

"My hero is Miguel Rosado, his friends and family call him Mikey. He is my dad," Mikalyn Rosado read to her father, "He changed his life for me and that is why he is my hero..."

Rosado, wearing an XPO logistics company work shirt and cap, said he was a little bit choked up by the nomination, unaware that his daughter had named him her hero before he had arrived to meet her at school.

Several essays were chosen to read in front of the whole room.

Brody Wise took to the podium to read his nomination of his father Andrew Wise, "Have you ever heard of a hero without a cape? Well I have one… He might have some mental scars from serving, but there isn’t anything in the world that I would be grateful for more than him," citing his service to the Marine Corps. “He put his life on the line to give us the freedom of walking the earth.” 

Andrew Wise served with the Marines between 2000-2004 during Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Brody goes on to tell the audience how his father has “influenced my life to make me a clean and trustworthy person and make me stronger so when it comes time for me to face.”

Andrew Wise gave his son a strong hug after his reading.

Justin Rowand, a Dover middle school football coach, wore two name tags that said “Justin” because he was nominated by two different students. He sat at the end of the table with his head slightly tilted to the ceiling as he listened to what the two boys were saying on either side of him

More photos: Dover log house through the years in photos.

“He was a good impact on me and he helped me so much and made me into the young man I was today…,” Josh Alexander said, sitting to the right.

“He is a mentor to me and helps me every single day whether it comes to being better in life or being better in football,” Broden Greener said to his left.