my mentor in life essay

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Free Mentor Essay Example

Type of paper: Essay

Topic: Journey , Perspective , Teaching , Life , Mentor , Tourism , Skills , Success

Published: 02/25/2020

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In life, a mentor is one of the important people who serve as an objective advisor and confidant with who a mentee can be open to discuss various issues. It is worth noting that a mentor is not a molder but rather someone who inspire and serve as role model. In fact, a mentor is a source of experience and information from which a mentee can learn from. My life mentor came as part of my academic life, and we have always bonded and focused on something deeper. Education can be one of the difficult activities and it calls for crucial perspective and mentorship. My mentor is associated with academics and his life is one of a kind. In general perspective, the life of my mentor had a lot of impacts in my life. In fact, his life journey is an absolute role model and exemplary example that has become part of my life. The journey of my mentor was driven by a global vision. This is because he has tremendously become successful in life based on his view based on broader objectives and goals. In his day to day activities he was driven by his global vision. Perhaps, my mentor always asserted that a program is one of the absolute means in achieving life goals. My mentor became successful through his focus on leading from the front. The journey of my mentor was full of challenges both financial and social, but he was always willing to share his expertise, skills, and knowledge. The life journey of my mentor was full of demonstrations of positive attitude as well as positive aspects. There were occasions whereby life seemed to be difficult and success seemed unachievable. He could always focus on the importance of remaining positive in a life and he always builds a positive attitude towards life. My mentor has always succeeded in most of his activities, but what is behind his success is the personal interest in mentoring and the urge to make the world a better place for all people. My mentor life was a clear image of what good mentors should look like. He was compassionate, knowledgeable, and possessed good qualities of a trainer and a teacher. It is worth noting that mentoring is more of teaching that the art of changing someone’s life. He could communicate so easily, and this formed the basis of all educative sessions that we carried out. Mentorship entails growth among all the stakeholders. There are occasions whereby my mentor could take some advice from me. Such life is encouraging since he focused on growth and dynamic nature of life. Based in the life of my mentor, values and good network are some of the common characteristics. The essence of having good network with other people drives one towards success. On the society, my mentor is well known for his ability and reputation to help others and make them solve their problems. Setting of good example sets the centre stage of the entire mentoring skills and knowledge. Mentoring incorporates various activities, my mentor was a father of a family, but he always focused at solving the mentee problems rather than involving them in their problems. One of the crucial components of my mentor life journey is the issue of professionalism. He basically had professional skills, which include respect, personal courage, competence, integrity, as well as commitment. These qualities that he possessed during the mentoring process seemed to have been the pillar of his career as a mentor. My mentor is one of the important people in my life for various reasons. It is evident that he has actually impacted my life in various ways. Looking at my entire life, I attribute my success and strengths to him since he saw me through various aspects of life. In life we tend to underestimate the impacts of mentor, and this is why many people fail in life. My mentor is very important because he encouraged me in various occasions. There are many occasions that I feel too low, and in such occasions he encouraged me. In addition, my mentor is important because he helped me reduce the mistakes I make in life. The wisdom that I received from him helped me to prevent the mistakes that could not be avoided easily. I was weak in various issues, but through his mentorship I managed to eliminate my weaknesses. This is one of the difficult aspects of mentoring since it entails a lot of pruning off. Our friends will always tolerate our weakness, but a mentor will ensure that the weakness is eliminated. He is also important because he brought out my strength and ensured that i realize my potentials in life. It is through my mentor that I became truthful and honesty. Success in life is all about saying the truth and being honesty. There are various impacts that my mentor has caused in my life. Some of the impacts are associated to empowerment, support, expectations, boundaries, social competencies, time management, positive identity, as well as positive values. In gametal perspective, the life of my mentor is a clear perspective of a good mentor.

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3 Ways My Mentors Changed My Life

I heard a story the other day of a man who was driving in the middle of a downpour. The rain came down in sheets and visibility was just terrible. The man was unsure if he should stop or keep going. Suddenly he spotted a set of taillights ahead of him and decided he’d simply follow them. They seemed to be going in the right direction, and it was a big comfort to know there was another person on the same journey. Well, he followed those taillights for what seemed like miles, until they suddenly stopped in the middle of the road. The man sat there, his windshield wipers pushing water aside furiously, wondering if the car had encountered a problem or hit an animal. Then, instead of moving again, the car’s taillights disappeared. Frustrated, the man began cursing to himself about the idiot in front of him who obviously didn’t care about those behind. About that time, someone knocked on the man’s car window.

He rolled the window down in the pouring rain to encounter a woman. “What’s your problem?” the man asked.

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” she said.

“Well, I’m not the idiot who stopped in the middle of the road and turned off her lights,” the man snapped back.

“No,” the woman replied, “but you are the idiot who’s parked in my driveway.”

I love that story because it illustrates some of the key principles I’ve taught my entire life. First, nobody wants to go it alone. We all want to know that someone else is taking the journey with us, and we often prefer following someone who’s just a little ahead of us on the way. Second, and most importantly, whom we choose to follow is of the utmost importance. Many of us end up like the man in the story – we simply follow the first person that seems to be heading in the same direction. But that can leave us looking pretty foolish.

Mentors matter, and having the right mentor matters even more. You see, the right mentor expands your vision. They help you see farther, and stretch your horizons. They help you see more by uncovering your blind spots. And they help you see clearly to discover your best path to success.

That’s why I’ve chosen mentors at every step along my journey. I can’t see it all, I can’t know it all – and neither can you. We all need someone to help us in our pursuit of intentional growth, and the right mentor helps you take massive leaps forward.

Mentors do three things for you: 1. They know the way – so they have insights and wisdom born from experience. 2. They show the way – by generously applying their insight and wisdom to your specific situation. 3. They go the way – by walking with you through your own journey and helping you learn from your experiences.

I’ve lived my life with the goal of adding value to others, and that’s why I’m not satisfied simply giving you information and calls to action. A leader’s vision isn’t measured in words; it’s measured in actions, and that’s why I’m excited to announce the launch of Maximum Impact Mentoring , a live interactive call with me each month where I will mentor you with great teaching as well as my freshest insights.

For years I’ve said I wish I could mentor everyone who has read my books or heard me speak and share with them what I know; well my team has found a way to use technology to help me mentor everyone who is a member of MIM. With Maximum Impact Mentoring, you will have a chance to sit down with me, in real time, as we work together to reach your greatest potential.

To make things as easy as possible for you, my team will email you instructions on when each month’s call will take place, as well as how you can access the call. If you can’t make the live call, don’t worry – we’ll have the recording ready for you. You can simply access the archived call at your convenience!

I can’t tell you how powerful a resource like this truly is – and there are so many more benefits to learn about when you visit the Maximum Impact Mentoring website . It’s absolutely amazing. And because I want you to be part of this unique community, we’re offering full membership for Maximum Impact Mentoring with 3, 6, and 12 month subscriptions.

I am thrilled to start this new journey with you, and I can’t tell you how much I’m anticipating speaking with you live each month by phone. I think this next step will truly help us create the maximum impact we all seek for our careers, our families and our lives.

But I don’t want to stop there. I’m so passionate about this new resource that for a limited time, I want to offer you something extra, a few bonuses that can really help you transform this experience and your life.

If you JOIN by July 2, I’m excited to offer you the following bonuses:

1. 13 downloads of audio lessons from me, based on my 13 Must-Ask Questions for a Mentor digital resource.

2. The downloadable executive summaries of 5 of my top books: The 5 Levels of Leadership, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, Good Leaders Ask Great Questions , and Thinking for a Change.

3. An audio interview with Kevin Myers, whom I’ve been mentoring personally for years, discussing our mentoring relationship and how to get the most out of learning from me.

In fact, I want to make you an additional offer, one that will only be around for until July 2: if you’d like to try Maximum Impact Mentoring, but aren’t ready to launch into a subscription, you can now sign up for just a single call and still receive the 3 bonuses.

For only $49, you can have access to a single MIM call and still receive the 3 bonus offers – even without a subscription.

The very first Maximum Impact Mentoring call on July 13 is all about developing your team – The Rule of 5 for Team Development. Every leader wants a good team. But how do you develop one? The process begins with asking yourself 5 crucial questions. Utilizing my Rule of 5, I will teach how to get the most from your team. These 5 questions create a checklist for team development, and are applicable in every team environment. When asked on a daily or weekly basis, they will help your people transform into the team you desire.

I hope you’ll take advantage of this limited offer. I’d love for you to sit in on even one call, just to hear for yourself how Maximum Impact Mentoring can make a difference in your life. I look forward to having you join us – and to helping you find the answers you’re looking for.

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How My Mentor Helped Me Find My Confidence

When I first met my mentor, Larry Starkey, he scared the heck out of me.

It was the fall of 2003, and I’d just started teaching a writing course for first-semester students at Massachusetts School of Law.

I was greener than green; it was the second time in my life I was hired without a lick of experience (radio was the first). The director of the writing program wasn’t too concerned with my newbie status; of course, I wasn’t privy to the insight he had about first-time teachers: we bust our butts in an effort to excel and to avoid failure.

Larry was a fellow writing instructor, and he was, in a word, brilliant. Not just in writing but in thinking. See, Larry was an intellectual and his intelligence awed and intimidated me. All of us writing teachers were on the same email distribution lists, and whenever Larry responded to a message, I’d have to sit with the email for a while to make sure I “got” what he was saying.

At first, I feared him. Then, I admired him. Finally, I befriended him. Or, I should say, he befriended me, since I was still too scared to say too much in his presence. We began our friendship through email. Then, we’d meet up for coffee in the cafeteria. Eventually, we would sit comfortably with one another in the gazebo in front of the school, discussing a wide variety of topics: life, love, politics, reading, and, of course, writing.

Larry became my informal writing mentor. I think mentors are crucial in life no matter what you choose as your vocation. The key is finding the right one. Larry had a long and colorful writing background—he’d been a newspaperman, a big-shot PR guy in NY, and a scriptwriter for General Hospital during the Luke and Laura heyday. He was a lover of history— true history, if such a thing even exists. He published the book Wilkes Booth Came to Washington in 1976. During the entirety of our friendship and mentorship, he was working on his magnum opus, a book tentatively titled The Law, God, and Samuel Adams .

Through our conversations—both in person and via email—Larry helped me discover my own confidence as a writer. He read drafts of my bad novels and short stories and always provided tactful, yet honest feedback. He encouraged me whenever I wanted to give up, often sharing anecdotes from his own life and experience as a writer. He wouldn’t allow me to wallow too long, reminding me that writers write and my job was to show up and to demand my muse do the same.

Sadly, Larry passed away in 2011 at the age of 69, his magnum opus unfinished. I think about him often, particularly the lessons I learned and the epiphanies I made while under his watchful gaze. He was a wonderful friend and mentor—someone who had a profound impact on my personal and professional life. I’ll forever be grateful for the time I had with him.

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Essay Samples on Mentor

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Relevance of Religion and Mentoring Relationships in the Process of Nation Building

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1. Startup Mentoring: Process and Benefits

2. My Influencer and Inspiration: the Role of a Mentor in My Life

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5. A Reflection of One’s Success in a Healthy Mentor-Mentee Relationship

6. Relevance of Religion and Mentoring Relationships in the Process of Nation Building

7. Younger Generation’s Development: Mentors Make A Difference

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Home — Essay Samples — Education — Teacher — My Favorite Teacher: A Mentor, Guide, and Inspiration

My Favorite Teacher: a Mentor, Guide, and Inspiration

• Categories: Teacher

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Words: 574 |

Published: Sep 1, 2023

Words: 574 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

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An engaging and inspiring teaching approach, unwavering support and mentorship, life lessons beyond the curriculum.

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Home Essay Examples Education Mentor

My Teacher, My Mentor

• Category Education
• Topic Mentor

Teachers are in a phenomenal position having a direct impact on their students. William A. Ward mentioned:

‘The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.’

Our writers can write you a new plagiarism-free essay on any topic

I was never found the lastly mentioned teacher until I met a 24 years old young lady. I considered her an ordinary teacher before enrolling her subject while looking her sitting in front of resource centre or strolling around the university. A woman who looks juvenile outside was in fact very matured inside, and eventually became my inspiration for life.

She was an adorable woman with a beautiful heart and amazing nature. Keeping smile on her face, she always looked active and energetic. She was a dedicated teacher who had love and passion for her job. Her teaching methodology was meritorious. She knew who to engage, motivate and inspire her pupils to bring out the best in them. Students need encouragement through praise or recognition, and she offers them the real encouragement and a judicious praise for their work. She gives them opportunities to surprise themselves by their skills, creativity and critical thinking.

‘Being both soft and strong is a combination very few people have mastered’ (Yasmin Mogahed). Undoubtedly she was one of those very few people. She was truly a wise, compassionate, considerate and supportive leader who led her followers towards the paths of knowledge, wisdom, understanding and morality. Despite her softness, she had full control over class and maintained her status among her pupils which is rarely seen. Certainly, circumstances which she had faced at early age made her strong, but I often wonder where that softness and compassionate came from? Sometimes, students need emotional support more than a piece of information. They need someone listens them and help them get out of what they are going through. She was always there to give emotional support, and counsel them to each extent. Her polite and positive attitude distinguished her from other people of her profession.

Once a student wrote about her:

‘She is the best mentor in the world.’ And I know those were my words that written by her ink. If the world ever set a standard definition for an Ideal Teacher then, by all means, she would be a perfect example of it.

She has been a teacher, a leader, a motivator, a guide, a mentor and an inspiration for me in the real sense of word.

‘Teachers affect the eternity; no one can tell where their influence stops.’ (Henry Brooks Adams)

It would be impossible to count all the ways she has helped me. My respect and admiration for her cannot be expressed in words. My heart and my thoughts obeisance before her. I been always so dumb to write about her. She does not deserve a paragraph. She deserves indeed, a thousand books written about how amazing she is.!!!

To her, I would like to say:

Thank you so much Ma’am for being the positive change in my life.

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How To Answer “Who Is Your Mentor?” (With Examples)

• How To Answer Tell Me About Yourself?
• Elevator Pitch
• Where Do You See Yourself In 5 Years?
• What Are Your Career Goals?
• When Can You Start?
• How Do You Define Success?
• Describe Your Work Ethic
• Where Are Your Current Duties?
• What Are Your Learning Goals?
• Intrinsic Vs Extrinsic Motivation
• What Is Your Desired Salary?
• What Makes You Unique?
• Why Are You The Best Person For This Job?
• Reasons For Termination
• What Are Your Work Values
• How To Make A Hard Decision?
• What Are You Most Proud Of?
• Personal Code Of Ethics
• Problem Solving Interview Questions
• Taking Initiative Example
• How Do You Prioritize Your Work
• Explain Gaps In Employment
• Most Rewarding College Experience
• What Is Your Work Style
• Tell Me About A Time When You Made A Mistake On The Job
• Tell Me About Gaps In Employment
• What Are You Passionate About
• What Skills Would You Bring To The Job
• Who Is Your Mentor?
• How To Answer Tell Me About A Time You Disagreed With Your Boss
• How To Answer Common Screening Questions

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Summary. To answer, “Who is your mentor ?” be specific about who your mentor is and what you’ve learned from them. This not only shows that you’re actively seeking feedback and ways to grow, but it can also highlight some of your key qualifications and skills.

It’s essential to be prepared for your job interview. You will be asked a series of tough questions which will determine whether you get the job or not.

To prepare for the interview , you need to learn how to answer common questions. Research shows the question “Who is your mentor?” as a very common interview question .

So be ready to discuss how those mentors have helped you achieve your career goals and have a deep understanding of mentorship if you want to be the job candidate that stands out.

Key Takeaways:

To answer “Who is your mentor?” effectively, be prepared and understand the nature of the question.

Make sure your answer to “Who is your mentor?” is specific, both about the person and how they positively impacted you.

Taking on a mentorship reveals many positive traits about you, including your ability to handle feedback and work with others.

There are many types of mentorship, including peer mentorship, reverse mentorship, and situational mentorship.

How To Answer “Who Is Your Mentor?” in a Job Interview

Example answers for different types of mentors, what is a mentor, mentor interview questions faq, final thoughts.

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When answering an interview question about your mentor(s) and who they are, you should share with your interviewers about the people that have taught you work-related lessons.

Even if your mentors tend to offer personal life lessons, find ways of framing them in a way that shows they have improved your professional life. Think about the job description when framing your answers.

The first step to successfully answering the question “Who is your mentor?” is to be prepared. It is very easy to be caught off guard by this question and you will waste valuable time as you try to think of an example. Be ready with a specific person in mind.

The next step is to think of the nature of the question. The interviewer wants more than just a name of a mentor. They want to know what this person did, and most importantly, how they affected you in a positive manner. Again, be specific in your mentorship.

You want your answer to reveal a few key points about yourself:

You have the courage to be in a mentorship. Being in a mentorship is all about receiving guidance, feedback, and support , but not everyone likes to seek this out because it can be uncomfortable. Having a mentor proves you took brave steps to improve yourself.

You are capable of growth. A mentor is there to help you grow and move through life successfully. You want to highlight what kind of growth you experienced from your mentor.

You work well with others. A mentorship is a two-way relationship. It requires you to be willing and able to be mentored, underscoring important social skills.

It is also important that you are direct and professional. Like any other interview question, make sure to be efficient, effective, and humble, yet confident with your answer.

There are different types of mentorships for those who need a professional mentor. What you choose will depend on several things. These include your situation, the availability of mentors, and whether you want to learn alone or with other people.

Below are seven types of mentorships that you can choose from:

Traditional mentorship. Traditional mentorship is one of the most common types of mentorship models. It involves forming a relationship with someone older, more learned, knowledgeable, experienced, and successful than you are.

This kind of mentorship is ideal if you need to learn from someone that has more expertise than do. It is quite popular for people that are looking for a career development mentor.

And it usually comes with personalized attention that is given frequently. For this reason, traditional mentors may also be referred to as one-to-one mentors.

So, when interviewing for a job, you may want to discuss those experienced professionals that have had a big impact on your career.

Mentor Types Traditional Mentorship Example Answer:

“My mentor is my former retired boss . He took me under his wing and taught me everything I know about managing a business. “I learned how to build a business and create a valuable brand from scratch from him. He also taught me the value of building authority in my chosen niche so that I can be the most trustworthy source of information for my audience.”

Peer mentorship. Peer mentorship is a mentorship model that involves one person learning from a mentor who usually occupies a similar career position with the mentee.

Also, both parties tend to be around the same age. But the mentor usually has a higher level of expertise and more professional experience in what you need to learn. They will act as a role model and help you solve problems until you can stand on your own two feet.

One of your colleagues can be your peer mentors. Because you share some similarities, you will find it much easier to identify with them.

After all, your work lives revolve around the same challenges and experiences. And you can slowly learn from them and acquire the skills that they possess.

If you have benefited from peer mentorship, you can share that during the interview.

Mentor Types Peer Mentorship Example Answer:

“Sally Smith used to be my peer mentor . When I joined my previous employer immediately after graduation, she trained me on how to run a doctor ’s office “Under her mentorship, I learned how to manage patient databases, organize meetings, and manage support staff . By the time she left for further studies abroad, I was a proficient office manager .”

Reverse mentorship. Reverse mentorship is traditional mentorship done upside down. Instead of learning from someone that is older and has more work experience than you do, you will learn from younger and less experienced people.

A reverse mentor may not have the same level of expertise you do, but they still bring a new perspective to the workplace. They are likely to be more in touch with what’s going on within the lower levels of the organization.

Through them, you will learn what the reality on the ground is and what needs to change.

Reverse mentorship is great if you feel that you have become an accomplished manager that is out of touch with what matters in the workplace.

During an interview, you can sell yourself as a senior manager that is willing to learn from your subordinates by discussing a reverse mentor that you have had in the past.

Mentor Types Reverse Mentorship Example Answer:

“In my previous work as a hospital administrator , we hired a young IT expert that was also an excellent hacker . After she helped our hospital survive a hacking attempt, I asked her to mentor me on cybersecurity matters. “The lessons that I learned from her enabled me to fight for our health information systems to be more secure. I made it my goal to allocate a decent budget for cybersecurity each year. “As a result, identity theft cases affecting employees reduced by 25%. And our systems were able to survive two major data breaches that negatively impacted many other hospitals around the state.”

Identity mentorship. An identity mentor shares a similar identity to yours and has overcome the challenges that you are facing. They are typically used in situations where one group (ethnic, racial, gender, etc.) is underrepresented in the workplace or industry.

Because of the similarities of your situations, you will find their unique perspective on your career to be extremely helpful.

However, be careful when discussing an identity mentor with your interviewers. Because a job-search should be about what you can do rather than what your identity is. You want people to hire you based on merit and not because of identity politics.

Try to frame your answer concerning your identity mentor so that it reflects positively on you. Below, is an example of what you could say to impress your interviewers .

Mentor Types Identity Mentorship Example Answer:

“I used to work at a restaurant . I started as a cleaner and worked my way up to a management position by the time I graduated from college. The owner , Mr. Diego has been one of my professional mentors since I was in high school. I am a second-generation immigrant. “Whenever I would whine about how difficult my life was or how hard I had to work to earn the stuff my classmates would take for granted, Mr. Diego would sit me down and tell me a bit of himself and his journey to the U.S. from Mexico. “Over time, he shared with me his journey to becoming a legal immigrant and small business owner . And every story would offer some nuggets of wisdom. “It is Mr. Diego who taught me the value of hard work, honesty, doing the right thing, and self-drive. I learned to appreciate life more and complain less by listening to him. And it is these qualities that I hope to bring to the workplace if you hire me.”

Situational mentorship. A situational mentor offers professional guidance usually for a short period for a specific purpose.

If you are dealing with a challenge or opportunity that has a major impact on you or the organization, you can find a situational mentor to help you go through it. The help offered by a situational mentor is also meant to help you solve the problem fast.

The age of the expert is irrelevant. The expertise and efficiency they have are what matters. It’s their skills and efficiency that will make the most difference.

If someone offers you the help you need to find real-world solutions to your challenges and problems, then you may also refer to them as practical mentors.

And if his or her job is to help you to relieve stress while resolving your problems, you can also refer to them as coping mentors.

Mentor Types Situational Mentorship Example Answer:

“In the last year of my creative writing degree, I was lucky to be taken under the wing of an old friend that had just graduated successfully. He knew that I was struggling and had trouble finding inspiration. I was in danger of failing my final exams. “He taught me how to find inspiration in unconventional places. And now I find it much easier to overcome writer ’s block regardless of where I am. These skills have enabled me to achieve a measure of success as a content creator for my previous employer.”

Distance mentorship. A distance mentor offers you the guidance you need to develop yourself professionally from a distance.

That means he or she is likely to be outside the institution in which you work. And sometimes, they may even be out of the state or country in which you live and work.

Distance mentors can provide personalized expertise and help via the available technological platforms. These may include social media and communication platforms such as Skype. For this reason, they are sometimes known as virtual mentors.

Distance mentorship is a good option if there are no experts available in your area. It can be implemented successfully if you and your mentor maintain a support structure that enhances communication.

Group mentorship. A group mentor offers professional guidance and expertise to more than one person at the same time.

You may not have ever had one-to-one interactions with a mentor. But when preparing for interviews, try to remember a time when you received professional guidance as part of a team. If it happened even once, then you can answer a job interview question on your mentorship experience.

For example, you could talk about your sports coach in high school or college. You can discuss the lessons on working hard and being a team player. Then explain how those lessons are now skills that you apply to your career.

A mentor is usually a more experienced person that guides you so that you can develop professionally. While under mentorship, you will be referred to as a mentee. And you will not only benefit from your mentor’s advice, but also from his or her resources.

Mentorship tends to be a long-term arrangement. And while you get the professional guidance that you need, your mentor will be able to hone their leadership skills .

Mentors can help you avoid the common pitfalls that people in your industry encounter. They are better positioned to identify these pitfalls since they have more experience.

Mentors can give you additional motivation. Furthermore, you will benefit from constructive criticism that your mentor offers.

You will learn to see your career challenges from a different viewpoint since your mentor will act as your sounding board. Doing so can help you find creative ways of overcoming the obstacles you encounter.

How can having a mentor help individuals achieve their goals?

Having a mentor can help individuals achieve their goals by giving them honest feedback and good advice. People with mentors have access to a wealth of experience and knowledge that can help them make wise decisions and identify the steps they need to take to reach their goals.

In addition, mentors can provide the accountability and encouragement needed to complete those steps.

What are the qualities of a good mentor?

The qualities of a good mentor include:

Knowledgeable

Good listener

Able to network effectively

Successful in an area you want to be successful in

Good communicator

Enthusiasm for sharing their expertise/helping you

Lifelong learner

If you have ever learned by listening to others and doing what they advised you to do, you can successfully answer the question, “who is your mentor?” Just find a way to relate your life lessons to the job you are applying for and that dream job may be yours.

And if you have never been mentored, honestly say so and express that you look forward to getting professional mentors in the future.

Western Governors University – All the Benefits of Having a Mentor

University of the People – How to Find a Mentor That Can Take Your Career to the Next Level

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Chris Kolmar is a co-founder of Zippia and the editor-in-chief of the Zippia career advice blog. He has hired over 50 people in his career, been hired five times, and wants to help you land your next job. His research has been featured on the New York Times, Thrillist, VOX, The Atlantic, and a host of local news. More recently, he's been quoted on USA Today, BusinessInsider, and CNBC.

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His voice cracked when he reflected on what these mentors meant to his life | Opinion

On jan. 18, mentor greater milwaukee will celebrate national mentoring month by hosting a mentor symposium at the hyatt regency hotel.

Latrelle Johnson's voice started to crack when I asked him about the importance of the men in his life.

“I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for mentors at different stages of my life," Johnson said. "They saved my life.”

Johnson, 22, said four men played critical roles when he was growing up. Not having a father in his house, he said he missed out on things men could have taught him. He spent time in the foster care system when not living with his mother, grandmother, and aunt.

“They did their best, but I needed that male energy,” he said.

Johnson started to rebel and said he sought attention by being the jokester and class clown. That was until he encountered his first mentor, Mark Gunderson , director at the Lighthouse Youth Center.

“He was my first mentor and the man who I credit with shaping me into the man I am today,” Johnson said.

He said Gunderson would take time to sit down to listen to what was going on in his life and offer advice on how to treat young ladies and financial literacy, and invited him to his home for dinners and social gatherings.

“He did all this for me when I was ten, but it played a critical role in my life. He came at the right time,” Johnson said.

Mentors helped him navigate challenges of growing up

On Jan. 18, MENTOR Greater Milwaukee will celebrate National Mentoring Month by hosting a Mentor Symposium at the Hyatt Regency Hotel. The goal of Mentor Greater Milwaukee is to serve 50,000 young people in southeastern Wisconsin. The need is great. Some programs in the region have nearly 10,000 children on a waitlist for a mentor.

Johnson said he has been blessed with strong mentors who came when he needed someone to talk to and believe in him.

There was Gunderson when he was a preteen, who he still talks to. Others include:

• Sam Coleman, who was recently appointed as the Oshkosh Area School District assistant superintendent of instruction. Johnson said Coleman leads by example and is a young man he strives to be one day. Coleman took Johnson to the 500 Tuxedo Event .
• Victor Barnett, the founder of Milwaukee’s Running Rebels , who provides Johnson with constant feedback and instilled in him the message “that I’m good enough.”
• LaNelle Ramey, executive director of MENTOR Greater Milwaukee, who has been a part of his life since his junior year of high school.

“They all have done so much for me. Sometimes, when I didn’t even know what to do,” Johnson said.

For instance, when he turned 18 and considered voting for the first time, he said Ramey called to check on him.

“I said, Unc, I want to vote today, but I don’t know where to go or what to do,” Johnson said. “Next thing you know, Unc pulled up to my house on Silver Spring and took me to get registered and everything. I will never forget that.”

Johnson calls Ramey “Unc,” short for Uncle, because he considers the longtime mentor more like family.  

For Ramey, working with Johnson takes him back to when he needed a mentor. Ramey was about to be a father, and he said he was scared and just needed someone who would tell him that everything was going to be okay while giving great advice at the same time.

Ramey said most successful people have a robust support system, a mentor, or both.

Mentors continue to help shape my life for better

I can also attest that strong mentors have done a lot for me. Aside from my father, grandfather, and uncles, my boxing coach, the late Al Moreland, taught me discipline and tough love; my media mentors, the late Eugene Kane and Greg Stanford, two columnists I modeled my career after.

Former Journal Sentinel editor George Stanley and my long-time supervisor David Haynes , who allowed me to be me. There are also those men in the community, my elders, who constantly check in on me and give me positive feedback when I need it: Mikel Holt at the Milwaukee Community Journal; Everett Marshburn , who allowed me to do work for Black Nouveau; and Earl Ingram Jr. along with Tyrone Dumas , who instilled in me the importance of community.

Not only have these men helped to shape me, but they have also supported me mentally when things got tough. Like Johnson, I don’t know where I would be without my mentors.

It’s one of the reasons why I give back by mentoring today.

Mentors boost graduation rates and mental health

One of the main questions people ask is what makes a good mentor? Most people have the potential to be good mentors; you must provide positive reinforcement and support to young people.

“People don’t think they can be a good mentor because they don’t have the right story. What they don’t understand is that their story may be the one to help a young person,” Ramey said.

MENTOR Greater Milwaukee is a one-stop shop for mentors, mentees, and organizations needing mentors. Mentors need to be open and vulnerable; have a willingness to share their entire story means sharing the good and bad because young people must know how to navigate difficult moment; and be committed to humility and respect for other people’s cultures.

Ramey said great mentors get as much out of the experience as the mentees.

“There should be a lot of give and take, and the more open the mentor is, the more the mentee will open up,” he said.

Mentoring is so easy now. Most mentoring programs range from a person giving a few hours a week to 90 minutes a month. While more time with a mentee would be better, the impact and consistency of being involved are what matters.

One misnomer about mentoring is that only low-income youth require mentoring.

“There is not a young person who doesn’t need a mentor. It crosses economics and grade levels. We need mentors for middle schoolers up to college and grad school students,” Ramey said.

Studies show that positive mentoring has increased high school graduation rates, lowered high school dropout rates, enhanced self-esteem, and self-confidence in youth, and decreased the likelihood of a young person using harmful drugs and alcohol.

The two statistics Ramey likes the most about the power of mentorship is that a young person who has a mentor growing up is 90% more likely to become a mentor later in life and 130% more likely to hold a leadership position when they grow up.

Johnson, a sterile processing technician at Gundersen Hospital in Kenosha, said his mentors gave so much to him that he’s now in the process of playing it forward.

“I mentor Jamarrion Davis at Running Rebels right now, and honestly, we connect so well because he reminds me of me when I was his age,” Johnson said.

More from James Causey:

A stalwart for civil rights: Attorney James Hall Jr. remembered for Milwaukee advocacy

Irresponsible. Unnerving. Dangerous. Sound of gunfire rang in New Year for two hours.

Johnson said his mentee tries to be a class clown, but he knows he only does that because he’s trying to find his voice.

“My mentors taught me that I was a leader, and when I was clowning around, I wasn’t using my leadership skills for good. They got me turned around, and I’m doing the same thing with Jamarrion,” he said.

Mentoring comes around full circle, and if I can help Jamarrion, then he will help someone else, and they will help another person, Johnson said.

“That’s what it’s really all about, being there and showing young people the right way so they don’t make the mistakes that can end them up in jail or dead,” he said.

Reach   James E. Causey at  [email protected] ; follow him on X @jecausey .

Event information

What:  MENTOR Greater Milwaukee Mentor Symposium. The program will feature 13 workshops that amplify mentoring.

When:  Thursday, Jan. 18, 8:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.

Where:  Hyatt Regency, 333 West Kilbourn Avenue

To register, go to: https://www.milwaukeementor.com/event/mentor-symposium-2024/

For more information, email: [email protected]

Summer & Fall 2024 Registration Now Open

Pedro hall named winner of kish college paul simon student essay contest.

Pedro Hall was selected as Kishwaukee College’s winner of the 2024 Paul Simon Student Essay Contest, where he described “How Kishwaukee College Changed My Life.”

Hall, a Sycamore resident, received a scholarship for the Spring 2024 semester and was recognized with a certificate of achievement at the April Board of Trustees meeting. Hall’s entry was forwarded to the Illinois Community College Trustees Association (ICCTA) for entry into the statewide Paul Simon Student Essay competition.

In his essay, Hall reflects on how Kishwaukee College provided the opportunity for him to revisit his goal of pursuing higher education after a 15-year hiatus due to life obstacles.

“I took a picture holding a sign that read, ‘First Day of School! ¡Primer día de clases! Kishwaukee College, Malta, IL. #estudiandoporunsueño #gokougars!’ In the background, a frame read, ‘Bloom Where You Are Planted.’ This picture paints a summary of how that day was the beginning of my dream of obtaining a doctorate degree in education. One day I will, and when I do, I will always remember that it all began with an opportunity given at Kishwaukee College,” Hall wrote in his essay.

When crafting his essay, Hall said he received encouragement from multiple Kish instructors and saw the prompt as an opportunity to pass along further inspiration.

“I hope the people who read my essay enjoy it and remember that it is never too late to work toward our goals regardless of how old the goal is or how old we are,” Hall said. “Perhaps it wasn't your time then, but it may be now. Do a life assessment and see if now the time is right. If it is not, don't give up on your dream. Wait, because your time will come. For me, this is my time, and I am elated to go full force in the pursuit of my lifelong dream.”

Hall plans to graduate from Kish in May with an Associate in Science degree. Following Kish, he plans to transfer to a four-year university to pursue a bachelor’s degree before obtaining a doctoral degree in education. Hall intends to work in Special Education after completing his academic journey.

To read Hall’s essay in its entirety, visit www.kish.edu/iccta .

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Kishwaukee College seated Aiyanna Washington as the new Student Trustee on the College’s Board of Trustees at the April meeting. Washington was elected by her peers to the position and took over the role of outgoing Student Trustee Perla Gonzales.

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The physical sensations of watching a total solar eclipse

Regina G. Barber

Science writer David Baron witnesses his first total solar eclipse in Aruba, 1998. He says seeing one is "like you've left the solar system and are looking back from some other world." Paul Myers hide caption

Science writer David Baron witnesses his first total solar eclipse in Aruba, 1998. He says seeing one is "like you've left the solar system and are looking back from some other world."

David Baron can pinpoint the first time he got addicted to chasing total solar eclipses, when the moon completely covers up the sun. It was 1998 and he was on the Caribbean island of Aruba. "It changed my life. It was the most spectacular thing I'd ever seen," he says.

Baron, author of the 2017 book American Eclipse: A Nation's Epic Race to Catch the Shadow of the Moon and Win the Glory of the World , wants others to witness its majesty too. On April 8, millions of people across North America will get that chance — a total solar eclipse will appear in the sky. Baron promises it will be a surreal, otherworldly experience. "It's like you've left the solar system and are looking back from some other world."

Baron, who is a former NPR science reporter, talks to Life Kit about what to expect when viewing a total solar eclipse, including the sensations you may feel and the strange lighting effects in the sky. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Baron views the beginning of a solar eclipse with friends in Western Australia in 2023. Baron says getting to see the solar corona during a total eclipse is "the most dazzling sight in the heavens." Photographs by David Baron; Bronson Arcuri, Kara Frame, CJ Riculan/NPR; Collage by Becky Harlan/NPR hide caption

Baron views the beginning of a solar eclipse with friends in Western Australia in 2023. Baron says getting to see the solar corona during a total eclipse is "the most dazzling sight in the heavens."

What does it feel like to experience a total solar eclipse — those few precious minutes when the moon completely covers up the sun?

It is beautiful and absolutely magnificent. It comes on all of a sudden. As soon as the moon blocks the last rays of the sun, you're plunged into this weird twilight in the middle of the day. You look up and the blue sky has been torn away. On any given day, the blue sky overhead acts as a screen that keeps us from seeing what's in space. And suddenly that's gone. So you can look into the middle of the solar system and see the sun and the planets together.

Can you tell me about the sounds and the emotions you're feeling?

A total solar eclipse is so much more than something you just see with your eyes. It's something you experience with your whole body. [With the drop in sunlight], birds will be going crazy. Crickets may be chirping. If you're around other people, they're going to be screaming and crying [with all their emotions from seeing the eclipse]. The air temperature drops because the sunlight suddenly turns off. And you're immersed in the moon's shadow. It doesn't feel real.

Everything you need to know about solar eclipse glasses before April 8

In your 2017 Ted Talk , you said you felt like your eyesight was failing in the moments before totality. Can you go into that a little more?

The lighting effects are very weird. Before you get to the total eclipse, you have a progressive partial eclipse as the moon slowly covers the sun. So over the course of an hour [or so], the sunlight will be very slowly dimming. It's as if you're in a room in a house and someone is very slowly turning down the dimmer switch. For most of that time your eyes are adjusting and you don't notice it. But then there's a point at which the light's getting so dim that your eyes can't adjust, and weird things happen. Your eyes are less able to see color. It's as if the landscape is losing its color. Also there's an effect where the shadows get very strange.

Crescent-shaped shadows cast by the solar eclipse before it reaches totality appear on a board at an eclipse-viewing event in Antelope, Ore., 2017. Kara Frame and CJ Riculan/NPR hide caption

You see these crescents on the ground.

There are two things that happen. One is if you look under a tree, the spaces between leaves or branches will act as pinhole projectors. So you'll see tiny little crescents everywhere. But there's another effect. As the sun goes from this big orb in the sky to something much smaller, shadows grow sharper. As you're nearing the total eclipse, if you have the sun behind you and you look at your shadow on the ground, you might see individual hairs on your head. It's just very odd.

Some people might say that seeing the partial eclipse is just as good. They don't need to go to the path of totality.

A partial solar eclipse is a very interesting experience. If you're in an area where you see a deep partial eclipse, the sun will become a crescent like the moon. You can only look at it with eye protection. Don't look at it with the naked eye . The light can get eerie. It's fun, but it is not a thousandth as good as a total eclipse.

A total eclipse is a fundamentally different experience, because it's only when the moon completely blocks the sun that you can actually take off the eclipse glasses and look with the naked eye at the sun.

And you will see a sun you've never seen before. That bright surface is gone. What you're actually looking at is the sun's outer atmosphere, the solar corona. It's the most dazzling sight in the heavens. It's this beautiful textured thing. It looks sort of like a wreath or a crown made out of tinsel or strands of silk. It shimmers in space. The shape is constantly changing. And you will only see that if you're in the path of the total eclipse.

Shots - Health News

Watching a solar eclipse without the right filters can cause eye damage. here's why.

So looking at a partial eclipse is not the same?

It is not at all the same. Drive those few miles. Get into the path of totality.

This is really your chance to see a total eclipse. The next one isn't happening across the U.S. for another 20 years.

The next significant total solar eclipse in the United States won't be until 2045. That one will go from California to Florida and will cross my home state of Colorado. I've got it on my calendar.

The digital story was written by Malaka Gharib and edited by Sylvie Douglis and Meghan Keane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected].

Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify , and sign up for our newsletter .

NPR will be sharing highlights here from across the NPR Network throughout the day Monday if you're unable to get out and see it in real time.

Correction April 3, 2024

In a previous audio version of this story, we made reference to an upcoming 2025 total solar eclipse. The solar eclipse in question will take place in 2045.

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Guest Essay

After I Lost My Son, I Realized I Needed to Stop Looking for Closure

By Liz Jensen

Ms. Jensen is a novelist in Copenhagen and the author of “Your Wild and Precious Life: On Grief, Hope and Rebellion.”

Four years ago, I got the news that every parent dreads.

Without warning, my healthy 25-year-old son, Raphaël — a wildlife biologist and an environmental activist — had collapsed and died, likely from a rare heart disorder nobody knew he had. The trauma catapulted me into a place of almost hallucinatory madness: a territory so tormenting, debilitating and bleak that I couldn’t imagine how I’d survive it, let alone find joy in the life that remained.

Catastrophes are radicalizing and transformative. You no longer see your life in the same way afterward. But must grief diminish you, or can it do the opposite?

The question was vital because my devastation as a newly bereaved mother felt mirrored by the pain and anxiety of millions of people struggling to process the consequences of global heating and the obliteration of precious ecosystems.

Both forms of grief were rooted in love. Both required courage, resilience and compassion. And the emotional arc of both, I came to believe, could create the strength and purpose needed to navigate an increasingly unstable future.

In the field of death and dying, one of the most enduring and influential figures is the Swiss American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who in the 1960s came up with the five stages of death: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. She’d been studying the emotional arcs of terminally ill patients, but later she and her colleague David Kessler repurposed the stages to apply to the grief of the bereaved, and the five-stage model became deeply embedded in Western culture.

In a 2007 paper , the Nobel Prize-winning climate scientist Steven Running applied those stages to the climate crisis, characterizing denial as the belief that the climate emergency isn’t happening or that humans aren’t the root cause. The anger stage kicks in when you realize your worldview or lifestyle will have to change substantially. Then you bargain by downplaying the scale of the crisis, or by putting all your faith in technological fixes. The depression stage manifests when you feel overwhelmed by the extent of the crisis and realize that governments and corporations are not only spinning their wheels but also often actively exacerbating the damage. Acceptance entails recognizing that the scale of the challenge is irrefutable, and then looking actively for solutions, because “doing nothing given our present knowledge is unconscionable.”

After tragedy struck Mr. Kessler, he altered his own analysis of bereavement. As an author and public speaker who had spent his career supporting the bereaved, Mr. Kessler felt he knew grief well. But the unexpected death of his 21-year-old son changed everything. Suddenly, like countless other bereaved parents, he faced the existential question raised in the adage that the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. And he came to believe that acceptance isn’t the end of the grieving process; it’s only the beginning of a new, sixth stage of grief, defined not by finding closure but by finding meaning.

This stage made a lot more sense to me than any of the others did. There was no meaning in Raphaël’s death. But I could find purpose, meaning and fulfillment in what I did and made happen in its wake.

The year before Raphaël died, I’d co-founded the literary activist group Writers Rebel to put literature in the service of life on Earth. But when we lost him, I stepped back: I couldn’t face the video calls. Then, in those early months of grieving, I began to meet other bereaved parents, take daily swims in the freezing Danish winter sea, reconnect with the natural world and read books about consciousness which led me to abandon my rational, secular view of it. And one day, I remembered what Raphaël said when I belittled my ability to affect change: “Do what you can, where you are, with what you’ve got.”

What, I began to wonder, could be more meaningful than honoring my son’s memory and the world I love by being active rather than crying on the couch?

Seven months after Raphaël’s death, I stood on a podium in the freezing Copenhagen wind with a group of writers and made a speech about why literature must address the climate crisis with the urgency it deserves. I was raw and nervous, but I sensed his presence. When I quoted him — “I won’t stand aside and watch the world burn” — a huge cheer went up, and I felt an inner shift.

Yes, my son was dead. And yes, the planet’s life support systems were weakening. But it wasn’t too late for one of them.

I rejoined my weekly Zooms and helped organize a tribute to the planet’s most critically endangered species. Later, the notes I’d been writing to myself as therapy began morphing into a memoir. And yes, it all felt meaningful.

Mine was just one of many paths from grief to fulfillment. For those feeling paralyzed by climate grief, just doing something new, or doing something familiar more mindfully, can germinate what the eco-philosopher Joanna Macy calls active hope: not the amorphous hope of wishing on a star but the practical hope of rolling up your sleeves and getting to it. Intentions are fine, but the meaning lies in the doing — be it cheering up a friend, energizing voters, transforming a patch of urban scrub into a garden, joining a citizen’s movement, switching to a plant-based diet, ditching a bad habit or taking time to observe a creature in the wild.

Just a few months before the electrical signals in Raphaël’s heart were catastrophically disrupted, I found a passage in his notebook that showed he had a premonition that he would die young, but that his sense of purpose would stay vividly alive.

“I’ll not be dead until my dream is, I’ll not fade away until my vision does, I’ll not be gone until all my hopes are,” he wrote.

It took his death for me to understand why I was born. It can’t take a civilizational collapse for humanity to understand why we belong here.

And it needn’t.

Liz Jensen is the author of eight novels, including the ecological thrillers “The Rapture” and “The Uninvited.” Her most recent book is “Your Wild and Precious Life: On Grief, Hope and Rebellion.”

The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips . And here’s our email: [email protected] .

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Help! My Date Read All of My Very Personal Writing Before Meeting Me.

And it’s not the first time..

Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. For this edition, Shannon Palus ,  Slate’s features editor,   will be filling in as Prudie.  Submit questions here.   (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Prudence,

Recently, a man told me minutes into our first date that he’d read my work. I’m a writer and have written for several well-known magazines, but I’m not famous—I just have a really uncommon first name. Because of this, it’s really easy to find me online. After we’d matched online, my date had Googled my name plus writer, found my website, and read half a dozen pieces I’ve written—including several personal essays about things like the death of a friend, or being intermittently homeless in my 20s.

This happens all the time. Once, someone waited months to confess that they’d not only read my work before meeting me but had intentionally peppered the conversation when we first met with niche things he knew I was interested in because I’d written about them. Unlike that guy, my recent date wasn’t trying to be manipulative. He felt embarrassed and offered to tell me a lot of personal stuff about himself so it would feel like we were both over-exposed and vulnerable. It worked—I walked away feeling like it was the best date I’d had in years. At least until he ghosted me, leaving me feeling like my work and I were being rejected. I know this is going to keep happening. What am I supposed to do when it does?

—Intimate in All the Wrong Ways

Dear Intimate in All the Wrong Ways,

This is the tough thing about publishing personal essays, or creating any kind of art that is publicly available—your work self and the rest of you can become intertwined in confusing ways. There’s no way to completely prevent that from happening; after all, as a writer, you pour yourself and your experiences into your work. There are ways to create some distance, though. I have developed a line that has really saved my sanity here and there. If someone in a social situation brings up a piece I wrote and I don’t want to talk about it, I will say, “I had to think about that so much for work, and I’m off the clock now.” And then I change the subject. It’s a little brusk but it’s effective. Next time a first date reveals they have Googled you, deflect a bit, and see how that feels.

But, I will say, it’s not all bad. One of the first times I hung out with my now-husband, in a group of friends, he mentioned to me that he had read a long piece I’d written about my fear of public speaking, and we had a short conversation about it. He hadn’t looked it up on purpose or anything, and we didn’t get together until a while after. But I look back on it as an early sprout of our relationship. And I love that. I felt, and still feel, so deeply seen and special around him.

On some level what you are asking doesn’t have much to do with your writing at all. It has to do with the fact that someone can get to know you, and then reject you. Which is part of the pain of dating, generally; there’s no escaping that. Being known is a risk. But it is also a gift. And if this kind of rejection happens again, just remember that whatever dude who dumped you is not your editor, and has no say whatsoever in your career.

How to Get Advice From Prudie

Submit your questions anonymously here . (Questions may be edited for publication.) 

Dear Prudence, 

My wife and I are trying to plan a holiday together and I am at my wit’s end. Planning with her is difficult at the best of times because she’s very easily excited, tends to go off on tangents, and makes spur-of-the-moment decisions. This time, she invited several friends of hers to join us without consulting me, we then made very elaborate plans with them, and then they all changed their minds and we had to start from scratch, so she made dinner plans with another set of friends in a city we hadn’t planned to visit. That is adding 10 hours of travel to a week-long trip that has been cut to five days because she also bought tickets to a concert in our home town, again without consulting me.

If this was an isolated incident, I would be annoyed but it is part of a long pattern of fickle behavior with scant regard for it impacts the people around her. Don’t get me wrong, she’s adorable and her spontaneity and immense passion are wonderful… BUT I am furious and exhausted. I’ve tried discussing it with her but she just gaslights me, accuses me of “freaking out” and points out that we’re blessed and I am complaining about having fun. I simply do not want to keep on doing things like this but I am unsure how to proceed. Do I stop going on holiday with my wife? Refuse to engage? Throw a massive strop? I proposed couples therapy but she says I’m being ridiculous and petty. What do I do?

Dear Just Done,

Tell her you want to plan one goddamn vacation yourself. (But keep the “goddamn” silent.) You book the hotels and sketch out the basic itinerary. She can have a say in where and when you go, and is free to tack on other things—a jaunt to a cafe, while you’re resting!—but the actual logistics and core itinerary are all up to you.

Compromising on the details of each vacation is just not working, or even happening at all, because your wife is derailing things. So try taking turns in how you plan trips. You plan this one; she plans the next one. And when it’s her turn, completely release control, and let making the trip happen be her responsibility.

I bet it’s a lot of fun for her to make all these plans (and maybe even part of what attracted you to her in the first place?). It might be easier to tolerate—even enjoy—the chaos if you know you’ll be in charge the next time around.

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I’ve volunteered with a lovely organization for many years now. I applied to one of their rare job openings. The organization has a great mission, it was the most easily accessible way for me to pivot into a new career, and it came at the perfect time for me to leave my boring current job. I was a qualified candidate and worked very hard on my application; I reached the final round of interviews, but they hired someone else.

I need advice on how to healthily work through these feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. I still love this organization and know I could keep developing some important skills as a volunteer. But I think it’ll feel very unpleasant to watch the candidate they chose working on exciting projects while I trudge through my own full-time job to spend a few precious hours volunteering each week (it’s a small organization so I will have to collaborate with them).

I also feel scared, because if I could put so much effort into an organization and an application but still get rejected, I don’t have much hope for getting anything more competitive. My self-confidence was low before and now it’s even lower. I feel overwhelmed by all the flashy skills I could be working on right now and feel like someone will always be more capable anyway. I know I’m far from the first person to deal with this. How do I move forward?

—No One Likes Rejection

Dear No One Likes Rejection,

It might feel and seem like this role was your only option for making a career pivot, but that’s just not true. There will be more opportunities on the table, if you keep looking for them and are flexible about what might work for you as a next step.

Right now, you just need to find a way to keep moving forward. You say you think it will feel very unpleasant to work alongside this candidate—I would just try it out, and see if that’s true. It will sting at first, but it might end up being a lot more tolerable than you think. You might even enjoy working with them! And if it is truly unpleasant, you can take a break from volunteering with this organization, or even change organizations, down the line.

I would also take this opportunity to get some feedback from the organization on your path—and ask for more from them. You made it to the final round. The work you do is valuable to them. Once the sting has lessened, talk to them about what could improve your candidacy in the future (if they do not have another opening anytime soon, this will come in handy for job applications elsewhere). Tell them that you are really passionate about finding paid work in this field, and ask if they have advice for you about what your next steps might be. It depends on what the dynamic is like, but you might consider asking if it’s possible to turn your volunteer position into a paid part-time job with them.

It might not feel like it now, but applying was an important and good step in your career— even though you were rejected. Going through the application process allowed you to practice your interview skills, as well as strengthen your understanding of and connection to this organization. Applying for a job is, often, not just about the one position. You never know what doors might open later because you went through this process.

Classic Prudie

I had a wedding planned for the end of July that my fiancé and I decided to cancel. We live near his family and decided we would all quarantine for two weeks and then have a small family celebration when everyone’s in town next month. I’ve always dreamed of a big wedding, so I’ve been going back and forth. That was until my fiancé’s brother, Tom, got here.