a life lesson you've learned essay

Essays About Life Lessons: Top 5 Examples and 7 Prompts

Read our guide to see the top examples and prompts on essays about life lessons to communicate your thoughts effectively.

Jordan Peterson once said, “Experience is the best teacher, and the worst experiences teach the best lessons.” The many life lessons we’ll accumulate in our life will help us veer in the right direction to fulfill our destinies. Whether it’s creative or nonfiction, as long as it describes the author’s personal life experiences or worldview, recounting life lessons falls under the personal or narrative essay category. 

To successfully write an essay on this topic, you must connect with your readers and allow them to visualize, understand, and get inspired by what you have learned about life. To do this, you must remember critical elements such as a compelling hook, engaging story, relatable characters, suitable setting, and significant points. 

See below five examples of life lessons essays to inspire you:

1. Life Lessons That the First Love Taught Me by Anonymous on GradesFixer.Com

2. the dad’s life lessons and the role model for the children by anonymous on studymoose.com, 3. studying history and own mistakes as life lessons: opinion essay by anonymous on edubirdie.com, 4. life lessons by anonymous on phdessay.com, 5. valuable lessons learned in life by anonymous on eduzaurus.com, 1. life lessons from books, 2. my biggest mistake and the life lesson i learned, 3. the life lessons i’ve learned, 4. life lessons from a popular show, 5. using life lessons in starting a business, 6. life lessons you must know, 7. kids and life lessons.

“I thought I knew absolutely everything about loving someone by the age of fourteen. Clearly I knew nothing and I still have so much to learn about what it is like to actually love someone.”

The author relates how their first love story unfolds, including the many things they learned from it. An example is that no matter how compatible the couple is if they are not for each other, they will not last long and will break up eventually. The writer also shares that situations that test the relationship, such as jealousy, deserve your attention as they aid people in picking the right decisions. The essay further tells how the writer’s relationship became toxic and affected their mental and emotional stability, even after the breakup. To cope and heal, they stopped looking for connections and focused on their grades, family, friends, and self-love.

“I am extremely thankful that he could teach me all the basics like how to ride a bike, how to fish and shoot straight, how to garden, how to cook, how to drive, how to skip a rock, and even how to blow spitballs. But I am most thankful that could teach me to stand tall (even though I’m 5’3”), be full with my heart and be strong with my mind.”

In this essay, the writer introduces their role model who taught them almost everything they know in their seventeen years of life, their father. The writer shares that their father’s toughness, stubbornness, and determination helped them learn to stand up for themselves and others and not be a coward in telling the truth. Because of him, the author learned how to be kind, generous, and mature. Finally, the author is very grateful to their father, who help them to think for themselves and not believe everything they hear.

“In my opinion, I believe it is more important to study the past rather than the present because we can learn more from our mistakes.”

This short essay explains the importance of remembering past events to analyze our mistakes. The author mentions that when people do this, they learn and grow from it, which prevents them from repeating the same error in the present time. The writer also points out that everyone has made the mistake of letting others dictate how their life goes, often leading to failures. 

“… I believe we come here to learn a valuable lesson. If we did not learn this lesson through out a life time, our souls would come back to repeat the process.” 

This essay presents three crucial life lessons that everyone needs to know. The first is to stop being too comfortable in taking people and things for granted. Instead, we must learn to appreciate everything. The second is to realize that mistakes are part of everyone’s life. So don’t let the fear of making mistakes stop you from trying something new. The third and final lesson is from Frank Sinatra’s “My Way.” People learn and grow as they age, so everyone needs to remember to live their life as if it were their last with no regrets.

“Life lessons are not necessarily learned from bad experiences, it can also be learned from good experiences, accomplishments, mistakes of other people, and by reading too.”

The essay reminds the readers to live their life to the fullest and cherish people and things in their lives because life is too short. If you want something, do not let it slip away without trying. If it fails, do not suffer and move on. The author also unveils the importance of travelling, keeping a diary, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

7 Prompts for Essays About Life Lessons

Use the prompts below if you’re still undecided on what to write about:

As mentioned above, life lessons are not only from experiences but also from reading. So for this prompt, pick up your favorite book and write down the lessons you learned from it. Next, identify each and explain to your readers why you think it’s essential to incorporate these lessons into real life. Finally, add how integrating these messages affected you. 

There are always lessons we can derive from mistakes. However, not everyone understands these mistakes, so they keep doing them. Think of all your past mistakes and choose one that had the most significant negative impact on you and the people around you. Then, share with your readers what it is, its causes, and its effects. Finally, don’t forget to discuss what you gained from these faults and how you prevent yourself from doing them again.

Compile all the life lessons you’ve realized from different sources. They can be from your own experience, a relative’s, a movie, etc. Add why these lessons resonate with you. Be creative and use metaphors or add imaginary scenarios. Bear in mind that your essay should convey your message well.

Popular shows are an excellent medium for teaching life lessons to a broad audience. In your essay, pick a well-known work and reflect on it. For example, Euphoria is a TV series that created hubbub for its intrigue and sensitive themes. Dissect what life lessons one can retrieve from watching the show and relate them to personal encounters. You can also compile lessons from online posts and discussions.

If the subject of “life lessons” is too general for you, scope a more specific area, such as entrepreneurship. Which life lessons are critical for a person in business? To make your essay easier to digest, interview a successful business owner and ask about the life lessons they’ve accumulated before and while pursuing their goals.

Use this prompt to present the most important life lessons you’ve collected throughout your life. Then, share why you selected these lessons. For instance, you can choose “Live life as if it’s your last” and explain that you realized this life lesson after suddenly losing a loved one.

Have you ever met someone younger than you who taught you a life lesson? If so, in this prompt, tell your reader the whole story and what life lesson you discovered. Then, you can reverse it and write an incident where you give a good life lesson to someone older than you – say what it was and if that lesson helped them. Read our storytelling guide to upgrade your techniques.

An Experience That Taught You a Lesson Essay

When it comes to a life experience, they either break us or make us stronger, depending on how you want to look at them. This is the best thing about these good and bad experiences, they are completely subjective. You can either be completely devastated by a turn of events or you can become saner and positive with a calamity.

Whichever way you take it, these life experiences impart valuable lessons and help us human beings generalize things. When similar things happen to us in the future or to someone else, we can always draw parallels and learn lessons from them. That’s why it is said that you either win or you learn; there is no third outcome of a situation.

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An Experience That Taught Me A Lesson

As far as I was concerned, life experiences that taught a lesson were not my cup of tea. I was an introvert and I have never concerned myself with going out to exotic places or meeting new people and learn their cultures. That was how I spent my life till that day when life occurred.

I was in high school and as expected, I was miles away from social activities and organized sports. I had some interest in swimming and I could have done great, but I was shy and did not consider it a rewarding experience for my comfort.

Before that episode, I was strong as an ox. Be it summer or winter, I could tolerate anything and hardly showed up after. That’s why I was too worried about what was about to happen to me. I was worried about learning from life lessons. It was about to be an experience that taught you a lesson.

Appendicitis

One day I returned from my school and felt a burden in my gut. I drank plenty of water and took OTC medicine to relieve myself from the pain.

When we reached the hospital, I was already silently crying with pain. When I left our car and got up in the wheelchair, I was already feeling like a long-time patient. There was a premonition that something was going to happen and it did.

The doctor came and she asked me to point with my finger at the origin of the pain. I did and she touched the place and then asked the nurse for scans.

Later, it turned out to be appendicitis, again a valuable lesson. I could not believe it. I was strong and could ward off any germ or disease with a smile. How could that happen to me? My mom was worried about me. I knew what it was. But I felt helpless and weak and that was most disturbing for me.

Till the operation, I was only getting fluids through IV and I wanted to eat burgers and fries. I asked the nurse how long I would be able to eat burgers and fries. She smiled and asked me to take it easy. She assured me that it wouldn’t take long.

Operation Burger & Fries

They wheeled my bed into the operation room. My mom was standing outside. She kissed me like I was going far away from her. I wanted to cry but I held on to my own. It was hard. The doctor noticed that and told me how brave and strong I was. That was when it snapped.

I started crying and they let my mom in. We were having arguments about whether McDonald’s was better than Burger King or not. The doctor asked me to take a deep breath and start counting from 10 to backward. I went out somewhere around 5.

When I woke up, I felt weak and nauseous. I felt something coming from my belly but it was empty and it ended up in a ratchet. Everything was blurry but I could make out my mother sitting beside my bed.

When she saw me moving, she sat up and asked me if I was still up for those burgers and fries. I said I didn’t want to have those. I said I wanted to go to school. She knew what it was. It was a change.

Passion For Life

Two days later, I was discharged from my hospital. It took a couple of days before my stitches were all done. The decision making was clear. After returning to school, I went to the coach and asked him if he could get me on the swimming team and helped me learn. He patted my shoulders and smiled.

I am now a professional swimmer and have participated in two Olympics competitions. It was a valuable lesson for me. Whenever new friends ask me what led me to swim professionally, I often reply “appendicitis”.

It took an illness to show me the true colors of life and how to never waste time and talents because like health and age, everything is precious. Life is precious.

The Most Important Lesson I’ve Learned In Life (Short Essay Sample)  

It happened years ago. We were living in a big nice house. I was going to the best elementary school in the city with my siblings. We had everything we could have wished for and we were still asking for more.

Mr. Sanchez used to mow our lawns. He was very hardworking. Often, he would bring his son that was my age. He had modest toys and modest clothes and he had a hard time fitting in with us. Mainly because I was too proud to consider him my equal. His name was Gabriel and he was a smart boy, despite all his “shortcomings”. He was also going to elementary school.

Days went by and we spent our time around each other but without any close connection. Fast forward to a couple of years and my father’s business hit the rock bottom. His partner took away all the money and left the country. Not long ago, we had to leave our big house and settle into a small one. I was in college and I had to leave that too because we were having a hard time meeting other expenses.

Mr. Sanchez was very kind during that time. He and Gabriel came once a week and helped me and my siblings get things in order. That was when Gabriel and I became good friends. He was going to state college but he was much smarter than me.

We started talking in the evenings and became good friends. Later we came up with a business plan and founded a start-up. I feel no shame in confessing that Gabriel was much more instrumental in the rise of our company. 

Later, all of my father’s debt was paid off and we were again a happy, prosperous family. I was a truly rich man because now I had a great friend by my side for my whole life.

This experience taught me that we should never look down upon people based on their economic conditions. It was a valuable lesson for me. It does not take a life experience for people to go from rags to riches or the other way around. What is important is someone’s person and behavior toward his other fellows in real life.

All personal experiences in one’s life are truly life lessons. They show us that a lot of colors and the action of life exists under the surface. What we think to be true and good may turn out to be bogus and false. The best thing about these life experiences is that they teach us to be better and smarter than our original selves.

That’s why change happens. When people go through valuable lessons learned in life, they have plenty of time and resources to go through what happened and how they can learn from it. If it was good, how it can be redone; if it was bad how it can be avoided. The essence of these experiences is to enlighten us.

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Essay Samples on Life Lesson

The most important lesson i learned in life: embracing resilience.

The journey of life is an intricate tapestry woven with threads of experiences, each contributing to the canvas of our growth and wisdom. Among these experiences, one lesson stands out as the most profound: the art of embracing resilience. In the mosaic of life, resilience...

• Life Lesson

Life Experiences That Taught a Lesson: How Experience Contributes to Our Growth

Life is a journey filled with countless experiences that shape who we are and how we navigate the world around us. Some of these experiences are simple and joyful, while others are challenging and transformative. This essay explores several life experiences that have taught valuable...

A Life Lesson I Have Learned and How It Continues to Shape Me

Life is a continuous journey of learning, filled with moments that impart wisdom and shape our perspectives. Some lessons are gentle whispers, while others are profound experiences that leave an everlasting imprint. In this narrative essay, I will share a significant life lesson that I...

• Life Changing Experience

Rising Above Negativity: A Journey in Music and Self-Belief

My Early Music Career Let me inform you about a time when I realized a life lesson. A couple of weeks ago, I started out producing music; I was once just starting as a producer, and I had no prior expertise in song theory. I...

Traveling Through Life: Learning, Evolving, and Reflecting

Life Lessons Learned on a Journey What is a journey. A journey is an act of traveling from one place to another and the time in between that act. We took a look at many texts relating to people going on a journey such as...

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"Made In Heaven": An Analysis of Relationships and Life Lessons

Introduction The web series "Made In Heaven" on Amazon Prime has captivated the attention of the younger Indian audience. Created by Zoya Akhtar and Reema Kagti, the series has received both acclaim and criticism for its explicit depiction of sex, abusive dialogues, and portrayal of...

• Marriage and Family

Best topics on Life Lesson

1. The Most Important Lesson I Learned in Life: Embracing Resilience

2. Life Experiences That Taught a Lesson: How Experience Contributes to Our Growth

3. A Life Lesson I Have Learned and How It Continues to Shape Me

4. Rising Above Negativity: A Journey in Music and Self-Belief

5. Traveling Through Life: Learning, Evolving, and Reflecting

6. “Made In Heaven”: An Analysis of Relationships and Life Lessons

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11 Most Valuable Lessons Learned in Life: Essay Ideas

Published on december 3, 2015 at 4:13 pm by caroline delbert in lists.

Every fall, teens applying to college ask themselves the same well-worn questions. Who is my best role model…in an essay of 500 words. What experience have I learned the most from…in an essay of 500 words. It’s common to ask high schoolers about life lessons, but what are the 11 most valuable “lessons learned in life” essay ideas?

For this list, I’ve mined life lessons from a variety of sources, from contemporary writers and motivational speakers like Ashli Mazer and Barrie Davenport to Jesus Christ, Jane Goodall, and Edward R. Murrow. New York Times readers offered their own best life lessons and so did a poll of 2,000 parents in the United Kingdom. Many lessons came up again and again and I’ve ranked them based on frequency, awarding 1 point for each of the nine total source lists where that lesson appeared.

moomsabuy/Shutterstock.com

I was pleased to see that clichés like “things happen for a reason” or “always smile” were not widely cited. Human beings are smarter and more complex than cross-stitch samplers. And there are plenty of less common life lessons that don’t make the cut for the 11 most valuable but are good to keep in mind anyway.

The wisdom of Jane Goodall encourages us to be kind to the Earth and ensure our legacy in caring for the environment. One New York Times reader gives the great advice to avoid con artists and egomaniacs — even if they’re related to us. Barrie Davenport reminds us that our children are their own people and need to have room to grow and be themselves.

Some of the less common life lessons are bittersweet, like learning about the luck of the draw and that time and forgiveness help to heal our emotional pain. Being honest with yourself is a great life lesson but one that is often the most hard fought. Life is not about money, but life without money is incredibly hard and limits our choices and opportunities.

Just barely missing the list were many important ideas worth mentioning, too. Manners go a long way. Choose a good life partner. Learn to get along and to resolve your differences. Maybe one of these lessons will spark a memory that you know will make a terrific essay even though it isn’t one of the most common overall life lessons.

I remember my alma mater offering a very welcome “none of the above” prompt on its application form, and I remember stopping short at an outlandish prompt offered by a very prestigious university. The college essay has almost become a parody, with prompts themselves joining in on the joke. (Maybe you remember Rory Gilmore realizing in horror that all her classmates had  also chosen Hillary Clinton as their role model topic — and she attended a school like one of the 10 most expensive boarding schools in the world .) But the college essay is real, and it’s required, and you have these role models, life experiences, or life lessons stored in your mind. They’re waiting to get out. If you’re someone with excellent prose, skip to the next part. If not… well, no need to wonder, “I need help to  write an essay for me ,” just seek online help from CustomWritings service. Time’s precious!

Just wait, though, because after you graduate from the college of your dreams, you’ll be faced with an interview question that makes every job seeker long for an insipid college essay prompt instead: What is your greatest strength, and what is your greatest weakness?

11. Learn from your mistakes — 5 points

There’s an old adage: “Never make the same mistake twice.” That advice isn’t always practical — you’ve probably Game Over’d many times on the same tough level, and eventually got through it. Learning from our mistakes isn’t instant or automatic, nor is it obvious what exactly we end up learning.

B Calkins/Shutterstock.com

10. Give back — 5 points

Western society can get very hung up on the idea that charity is a matter of money alone, but giving back is a huge category. Think about how you spend your time as well as your money, and think about how your extra resources could improve the lives of others or simply brighten their day.

9. Don’t judge — 5 points

This idea is so simple yet so challenging to really do. What other people do, say, or believe generally doesn’t concern you. More than that, as a few lists also included, we should mind our own business. In a time when the microscope of social media is always pointed at everyone we know, it takes guts to step away and not engage. That choice to accept-not-except stands out in the 11 most valuable “lessons learned from life” essay ideas.

8. Put yourself out there — 5 points

The barebones archetype of putting yourself out there is asking someone on a date. It’s nervewracking and feels just as terrible every single time you psych yourself up to do it. But putting yourself out there is more than just romance — it’s applying for a challenging job, making a new friend, taking an improv class, and so much more. Without risk there is no reward.

Slideshow be yourself Jesus Christ life lessons Jane Goodall List XFinance college essays New York Times the golden rule Edward R. Murrow best essay topics great essay topics college essay topics put yourself out there learn from your mistakes most valuable life lessons judge not lest ye be judged best application essay ideas when life gives you lemons make lemonade 10 Most Expensive Boarding Schools In the World 11 Most Valuable Lessons Learned in Life: Essay Ideas Show more... Show less

Some Lessons I’ve Learned From Reflecting On Life In 150 Essays

As I look back over my last 149 essays, I see memories, heartbreaks, and joys, all poured into my essays of size 12 font. I see times I was feeling high on life, and simultaneously, times I was struggling and felt as though I was stuck in the dark.. But even more than a simple timeline of moments and checkpoints, I see someone trying desperately to make sense of a messy world full of complicated emotions. I see someone a little bit lost at times, a little bit curious, and also a bit hopeful – someone just trying her best to seek meaning, inspiration, and above all, healing. 

It is an understatement to say that writing has been therapeutic for me. When I have felt lonely, or afraid, or let down, I have often sought comfort in writing. Words have been magical – they have been a way to gain a new perspective on my life and on the lives of all of the people around me. Writing has unfailingly encouraged me to look twice at life – to examine what lies beneath the surface, rather than accepting things at face value. 

And when I look back at all of these thoughts I have spilled across the white pages of my MacBook, I see many themes that seem to pop into my life over and over again, with each passing year. These themes are mainly lessons – those that I have learned, and those that I am still learning (or relearning).  Looking over my writing, I can’t help but notice how as human beings, we are constantly learning. We never seem to stop changing, growing, or healing.  

While I do not have all of the answers (or any answers with certainty), I do hope that some of the thoughts I have gathered and the lessons I have learned through examining the world through words may resonate with you as well. I hope they can bring you some comfort or reassurance in the midst of the mountains and valleys of your own life. 

1. It can feel comforting to seek home in nostalgia – to live in our memories, to replay them over and over again, like little film strips that continue to roll on. But at some point, we have to remember that life is still happening and the earth is still spinning, right here, right now. At some point, we have to be here for ourselves and for our hearts in the present. We have to be brave enough to hope that the present and the future will be just as good, if not better, than the old memories we are living in.

2. I’m learning that joy doesn’t necessarily mean the absence of sadness, and grief doesn’t necessarily imply the absence of joy. Though we often want to choose an either o r, life is not quite as binary as we make it out to be.

3. I’m realizing that being at peace with life doesn’t mean that everything is perfect, or that we don’t have any troubles or tribulations or low energy nagging at our hearts. Being at peace doesn’t mean that life is wonderful, or that we aren’t stressed, or facing anxiety. More so, being at peace means finding some form of “okayness” amidst all of the parts of life that are not (yet) “okay.” It means sitting amidst the chaos and making the conscious decision to remain calm. To be okay. Ultimately, finding peace means acknowledging the storm and coexisting with it, rather than sitting in the eye of the tornado.

4. It’s the hardest lesson in the world, but sometimes, the best thing we can do is let them go. Sometimes we have to say goodbye to someone good and wait patiently for someone better. 

5. Something odd about life is that the right choices don’t always feel right in our bodies. Sometimes, though difficult, we have to find the courage within us to pursue what we need, rather than what we want in the present. We have to take care of ourselves by honoring what we know is best for us in the long run. And oftentimes, in the present, it really does hurt a lot. The pain doesn’t mean the decision is wrong. Sometimes the best choices can leave us let down and hurt. But later on, we will be thankful.  

6. I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason. I don’t believe in fate. But I do believe that we can give meaning to some of our hardest most heartbreaking moments. We don’t need to build an identity that is rooted in our grief or in our trauma or pain, but if or when we want to, we can allow the healing process to bring out our best. We can grow new, fresh roots, and we can choose to define ourselves by how we rise back up again.

7. We can’t expect others to heal us – no one can love us so much that we automatically love ourselves. But maybe, when someone does love us, they can remind us what love feels like. They can help us to believe that we are loveable. And this can be the first step of loving ourselves – knowing that we deserve to be loved.

8. Grief is ugly and painful and devastating. Grief is dark swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Grief hurts.  But we cannot deny the sheer beauty that grief holds. We cannot deny that grief is, in some ways, a gift. To grieve means that we are blessed enough to have loved and to have been loved by someone special – and this is remarkable. Grief means we are missing someone – someone who touched our lives in an irreplaceable way. And thus, I’d like to believe that the sadness and grief we endure when we lose someone close to us is simply the price we pay for loving them. And there’s something so dear and precious about this.

9. As hard as it is to hear, some people aren’t meant to stay in our lives forever. They are passerbys, like boats in the night. And though they may only stay for a short while, they stay safely in our hearts indefinitely.  Temporary people can leave permanent footprints.

10. Anxiety and overthinking do not change the situation. They only turn a gentle rain shower into a hurricane.

11. We can miss someone, but we can’t lose ourselves when we lose them. We can miss them, but we can’t let our lives be over when they are gone. Because we still have our lives to live. And we still have so much love left in us to give. 12. We don’t need a reason to have hope – we don’t need evidence or logic, as much as we think we do. We don’t even need to fully understand or grasp what hope is. We just have to find it in our hearts to believe that hope exists. We have to bravely decide to give in to hope, even when we can’t see it or touch it – even when we don’t know if it is there. When life is dark, we have to believe that there is something still worth living for around the corner. And this belief – this hope – this is what will help us move forward. 

13. It’s okay to find home in another person. It’s one of the sweetest, purest parts of life. But somewhere along the way, we must also find home within ourselves.

14. We know we are healing when we piece back together our broken parts and turn them into something greater than what we had before.

15. Perhaps, when someone doesn’t love us or doesn’t fight for us, it isn’t actually a reflection of us. Perhaps their inability to love us does not mean that we are unloveable, or hard to love. Maybe it means that they have been hurt one too many times before and that their walls are now built high of concrete and stone. Or maybe it means that they have been defeated by love one too many times – maybe love continues to let them down, time and time again. And maybe, even if they want to love us, they simply cannot. And we can keep trying and trying to knock down those walls. But perhaps when they don’t love us, the very best thing we can do is to hug them close, wish them the best, and then walk away.  Because even if they were special, we each deserve someone who is ready to let us in fully.

16. Most of the time, when we think we need closure from someone else, what we truly need is closure from ourselves – permission from ourselves to let things be. To accept the ending and to understand that it’s time to let the ending stay an ending. We must find the strength to seek peace and healing on our own. Healing is our responsibility, not the responsibility of the person who hurt us.

17. Sometimes growth is quiet and subtle and doesn’t look like growth. Sometimes growth is simply viewing a situation from a fresh perspective. Sometimes growth is trying something new, despite whether or not it ends up being a good experience. Sometimes growth just means making it through each day and noticing one small good thing about the world each night. Some seasons are for making leaps and bounds, while others are simply for surviving and just being. Both seasons are important. Both are needed. 

18. How do we know when we are healing? I think we know that we are coming close when we feel immense gratitude that something happened, rather than devastated by the fact that it ended. 

19. We don’t always need to find the silver lining. Sometimes really crappy, awful things happen, and there is much more bad than good in the world. Sometimes we go through devastating, heartbreaking experiences that don’t have a silver lining, and the idea of trying to find one only hurts us further. In these really rough moments, we don’t need to search for the light. But maybe, when we are ready, we can remind ourselves that there is still light in the world. Maybe there’s no shining light in our situation, but there is still goodness somewhere out there. And hopefully knowing this will help us make it to the other side

Perhaps the secret isn’t avoiding pain or numbing ourselves from pain, but rather, putting our energy into cultivating joy and peace. Perhaps when we value joy over pain, life becomes a little bit easier. 

Read more Wellness .

About the author

Colleen George

“there can be magic in the messes” @apeaceofwerk

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October 21, 2016

Life Lessons in College Essays

It’s important to have a life lesson in college essays, right? A great Personal Statement wouldn’t be compelling if it didn’t wrap up with a story about a life lesson learned, right? Maybe it’s about understanding the value of hard work. Maybe it’s about understanding the importance of perseverance and overcoming adversity in pursuit of your goals. Maybe it’s about realizing that all people are, in many ways, more alike than different. These are the kinds of life lessons that make for compelling storytelling not only in the Common Application’s Personal Statement but in the unique supplemental essays for the schools to which students apply, right?

One of these things doesn’t belong in college essays: a life lesson, great storytelling, and colloquial writing. Which one is it, you ask?

No, not right. But the regular readers of our college admissions blog know that the entire introductory paragraph above was one big setup. Life lessons have no place in college admissions essays to highly selective schools. Life lessons are cliche. You pulled your hamstring but nursed your way back from injury to compete in the 100 meter dash again? You may not have won but you tried your best? Cliche. You realized that the folks in Soweto, South Africa are just the same as you and your neighbors in Greenwich, Connecticut? Cliche. You learn about the importance of love and family from your wise grandfather? Cliche.

Life lessons have no place in college essays. Let’s say it again. Life lessons have no place in college essays. When admissions officers are reading hundreds upon hundreds of essays, how many come-from-behind races can they possibly enjoy? The answer is zero. “Full House” was a terrific television show on ABC. And its sequel “Fuller House” is a nice followup on Netflix. For those not familiar with “Full House,” Danny, Jesse, and Joey often imparted life lessons on D.J., Stephanie, Michelle at the end of each episode. But college admissions essays are not episodes of “Full House.” So leave the life lesson out and don’t think twice about it.

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The Ultimate List Of 145 Life Lessons You Must Learn

Do you ever look back on your life and think, “Gosh, I wish I'd learned that lesson a long time ago?”

You think you have a handle on how life works, only to discover after a few failed relationships, difficult challenges, and misguided assumptions that you've been missing something valuable.

As a result, much of life is wasted on worry, regret, pain, and heartache. Of course, some of this is inevitable and necessary.

But we end up spending too much time sweating over things unnecessarily instead of focusing on what is important in life.

It seems “life lessons” are called that for a reason.

The lessons learned in life are a byproduct of life itself.

But you can learn some of these lessons before life forces them on you in a painful way.

What Are Life Lessons?

What is the most important life lesson, 145 of the best life lessons ever, inspirational life lessons for kids, life lessons for young adults, life lessons for your career, life lessons for your relationships, moral lessons.

A life lesson is a powerful piece of wisdom, knowledge, insight, or self-awareness that you adopt to improve yourself , your relationships, and your life in general.

You often need to experience life in order to learn the lesson . And the more life you experience, the more lessons you accumulate.

But some extremely valuable life instruction can be learned from wise thinkers and experts as well as from friends and family.

Although some lessons must be learned through experience, you don't have to wait until you're old to become aware of what's truly meaningful and worthwhile. You simply need the curiosity and desire for self-awareness and personal growth.

Once you learn the lesson, you can apply it in your life at any age and enjoy the benefits that enhance your happiness and well-being .

All of these lessons are interconnected in many ways. Learning and embracing one often leads you to another. But we believe the most important and life-changing lesson is #1 — your life is now.

Since this moment is the only reality, be fully present with it, appreciate it, and try to live it to the fullest. Nothing else really matters except this moment.

Whether moral lessons, learning lessons, or deep life advice, our list covers a lifetime's worth of insights worth embracing.

As you reflect on each one, make notes in a journal or notebook about how you can make these great life lessons work for you.

1. Your life is now.

We keeping waiting for that amazing thing to happen in the future that will be the key to our happiness.

But this is it. Your life is right now. Life continues to be a series of right nows. So learn to love your life right now, and you'll have an amazing life.

2. Fear is an illusion (mostly).

Most of the things we fear never happen. Or if they do happen, they are rarely as bad as we fear they will be. For most of us, fear is the worst thing that will happen to us. Reality isn't as painful.

3. Relationships rule.

At the end of the day, what matters most in life are the people in our lives.

Put them first every single day. Before work. Before the computer. Before your hobbies. Treat them like they are your everything. Because they are.

4. Debt isn't worth it.

Nothing is more draining and humiliating than being in debt.

Buying things you can't afford might give you a short-term buzz, but in the long run, it's extremely stressful.

Spend below your means. Save money. Wait until you can afford it. Live a debt-free life.

5. Your kids aren't you.

You are the vessels to bring your children into the world and their caretakers until they can care for themselves.

You can teach them, love them, and support them, but you can't change them. They are unique individuals who must live their own lives and learn from their own mistakes. Let them.

6. Things gather dust.

Time and money spent accumulating material things will one day irritate you.

You have to clean, maintain, store, and move stuff. The less stuff you have in your life, the freer you are. Purchase mindfully. Simplify. Declutter your life.

7. Fun is underrated.

How much of your daily life is fun? Really fun?

Life is short. You should enjoy it. Don't make things serious that don't have to be.

Create more fun in your life. Don't worry about what other people think of your fun. Just enjoy it.

8. Failure is good.

We try so hard to avoid failure, but failure is the real evidence that we've had the courage to try.

If you avoid failure, you avoid taking action. Expect and accept that failure is part of the experience. Learn from it, grow from it, and move on.

9. Friendships need care.

One of the top five regrets of the dying is that they let their friendships fade away.

Friendships need time and attention. They need to be prioritized not just in word but in deed.

Nurture them like a prized garden. The payoff is so worth it.

10. Prioritize experiences.

The pleasure and positive memories afforded by great experiences far outweigh material things. If you're trying to decide between the new sofa or the family trip, take the trip every time.

Save and plan for new adventures and meaningful experiences. Don't just dream about them — make them happen.

11. Anger isn't worth it.

The feel-good release of anger lasts a few minutes. The repercussions last far longer.

Regret , stress, and unhappiness are the byproducts of angry outbursts. Learn healthier ways to communicate your feelings, and when anger arises, step away until it dissipates.

12. Kindness matters.

Small expressions of kindness have an enormous positive impact on other people and on your own happiness.

It doesn't take much to be kind. Practice it every day of your life, in every situation, until it's your natural way of being.

13. Age is a number.

When you're twenty you think fifty is old. When you're fifty, you feel thirty. When you're seventy, fifty looks like adolescence.

Our chronological age doesn't have to define us. Don't allow a number to hold you back or prevent you from being the person you are inside. Just be the person you are inside.

14. Vulnerability heals.

Being real, open, and vulnerable invites people in and allows them to relate to you on a much deeper and more intimate level.

Vulnerability, practiced with safe and loving people, can heal emotional pain and strengthen relationships .

Let down your walls and connect. It's surprisingly liberating.

15. Posturing builds walls.

Creating a persona to impress or shield yourself from pain diminishes intimacy and authenticity.

People generally see through this, and it pushes them away. And you look like a fool.

16. Exercise is power.

Exercise should be a daily priority for everyone. It makes you physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger.

It improves your health and your outlook. It is the panacea for just about everything.

17. Grudges cause pain.

Holding on to a grudge is like injecting poison into your body every day. Forgive and let go. There's no other way.

If your ego is preventing you from forgiving and letting something go, then tell your ego to take a hike. It's getting in the way of your happiness and well-being.

18. Passion upgrades life.

When you find that thing you love to do with all your heart, every day feels like a gift.

If you haven't found your life passion , make it your mission to find it. The joy it brings you spills over into all aspects of your life.

19. Travel expands you.

Travel makes you a more interesting, insightful, and accepting person.

It expands you, enlightens you, and teaches you about the variety of people, lifestyles, and cultures. It is a pursuit well worth saving for.

20. You aren't always right.

We think we have the answers and know what's right and wrong, good and bad, and best for ourselves and other people. But we aren't always right.

There's always more than one version. There are many perspectives that are valid. Always remember this life teaching and keep yourself open to that truth.

21. It will pass.

Whatever is causing you worry or pain right now won't cause you worry and pain forever. Time heals. Things change. It will pass.

22. You define meaning.

A meaningful life is what you define it to be.

If you neglect to define meaning for your life , you won't experience it. Decide what makes life worth living for you, and then design your life around that.

23. Risk expands you.

To make a positive change in your life, you often must take a risk. You must tolerate some level of uncertainty.

Taking thoughtful, calculated risk strengthens your “change muscle” and helps you grow.

24. Change is good.

Life is change. We shouldn't resist it.

Remaining stagnant is in opposition to the natural order of life. Flow with change. Embrace it and regard it as an adventure.

25. Thoughts aren't real.

Every moment of the day, we have random thoughts floating through our brains.

Many of the thoughts are negative and limiting. You don't have to believe them. They aren't the truth or the whole truth.

Thoughts can become our reality, but only if we let them.

26. You can't control others.

We want people to think and behave as we do. We want them to accommodate us and live the way we think they should live. We want to change them.

But with awareness, we realize we can't and shouldn't try to control others. Instead, embrace differences and honor the uniqueness of the people in your life.

27. Your body is a temple.

We all have something or many somethings we hate about our bodies. But your body houses your very essence.

Treat your body with respect and care for the efficient and wondrous way it takes care of you. Even if there are parts of your body you don't like, focus on your body with a sense of love and gratitude.

28. Touch heals.

Physical touch is healing and intimate. It bonds us to other people and relieves stress and anxiety .

It has a myriad of health benefits, such as lowering heart rate and improving the immune system.

Mindful, loving touch with those you love is a gift that should be shared.

29. You can handle it.

Whatever you think you can't handle, you actually can.

You have more strength, more resilience , and more inner wisdom than you give yourself credit for. You'll get through it and survive — and maybe even be better for it.

30. Gratitude multiplies happiness.

Consciously focusing on all you have rather than thinking about what you don't have is a far better use of brainpower. Gratitude fosters positivity and well-being.

31. Intuition counts.

Your judgment is important, but your intuition supercharges your judgment.

Intuition is data from your subconscious mind, based on your past experiences and patterns in life.

It can arise spontaneously when you are called on to make a decision or need information. 

32. Please yourself first.

Pleasing others for approval and acceptance might feel good in the short term, but eventually, you will lose yourself and feel resentful.

Please yourself first and give to others based on conscious choice, not the desire for approval or feelings of guilt.

33. Self-honesty is freedom.

When you are in denial about something, you are blinding yourself to the truth.

Even if the truth is temporarily painful, it will ultimately set you free. Be radically honest with yourself so you can live authentically.

34. Perfection is boring.

Perfection is unattainable, and the pursuit of it makes us boring.

It is our differences, our foibles, and our imperfections that connect us to humanity and make us real.

35. Serving creates meaning.

If you want fulfillment in your life, start with serving others. Find a way to make a difference, even a small difference, and your life will feel purposeful.

36. Little things matter.

It's not the big wins, the great accomplishments, or your status in life that really count.

It's the accumulation of little things — the quiet moments in nature, special time with our kids, seeing the smile on your spouse's face when you walk in the door. Pay attention to these things.

37. Learning is forever.

There is so much to learn and explore in our very short lifetimes. Take advantage of learning every single day.

Challenge yourself to acquire a new skill, read something different, take a class. Learning keeps our minds engaged and sharp, even into old age.

38. Aging happens.

Our bodies age. It is a truth we can't avoid. You can manage to age well by doing the best with what you've got.

Beyond that, do your best to let it go. Enjoying life is the best antidote to getting older.

39. Marriages change.

The person you married will change over time. You will change over time.

Hopefully, you will change in the same direction or come to love the changes in the other person. Don't let these changes take you by surprise.

If the changes start to pull you apart, take action as soon as possible to heal the rift.

40. Worry is worthless.

Worry is useful only if it leads directly to a solution. But the very nature of worry implies that it doesn't.

You worry about “what ifs” that aren't real, and the worry itself creates stress and physical symptoms that cause real reasons for angst. Learn how to manage your worried thoughts.

41. Heal your wounds.

Don't allow pain from your past (or present) to linger and cause you suffering.

Don't stuff it down or pretend it doesn't matter when it does.

Seek support from a professional trained to help you heal and renew your emotional health.

42. Simple is better.

A life full of complications, obligations, and an overwhelming schedule makes life more difficult and stressful. A simpler life, in all regards, gives you more space for joy, authenticity, and engagement.

43. Do the work.

If you want something in life, you must do the work to get it. There are rarely shortcuts.

But fortunately, the work is what affords the most sense of accomplishment. The process is more engaging than the outcome.

44. It's never too late.

This is an excuse for not trying. Great things can be accomplished at any age. Telling yourself otherwise is a sure way to remain stuck and frustrated.

45. Action beats angst.

Action is the cure for worry, procrastination, indecision, anxiety, and frustration.

Stop thinking and do something, and you will create momentum that leads to something valuable — or at the least heals your turmoil.

46. Creation beats reaction.

Be proactive in your life, designing exactly what you want rather than reacting to what life throws at you.

Creation empowers you and expands your opportunities. Reacting disempowers you and diminishes your choices.

47. Release attachments.

Don't become too attached to outcomes or beliefs. Remain open to all possibilities and ideas.

You will be surprised how much more there is to life when you don't cling to your beliefs, opinions, and things.

48. Words matter.

The words you speak have power. Consider your words carefully. Use them for good rather than harm. Once they are out, you can't take them back.

49. Make every day count.

If you live to age ninety, how many days do you have left?

It is a finite number, and one day you will reach that last day. Remain conscious of the value of every single day.

Ask yourself every morning, “What can I do to make today count?”

50. Love is the answer.

Love is why we are here. It is the force for good in this often random, painful, and harsh world. Share it freely. Express it daily. Use it as your lodestar.

51. You deserve respect.

Just because you're a child doesn't mean you shouldn't be treated with respect.

Respect means others show you kindness and care. They listen to you and value you for the person you are.

52. Sharing feels good.

Sometimes it's hard to share your things with other people.

You might fear that by sharing, you may lose something, or someone might take advantage of you.

But sharing feels good because you are showing the other person that you care and want them to enjoy what you are enjoying.

Being generous this way makes you like yourself even better.

53. Challenges are good things.

When something is hard and challenging, you may not want to do it. It's much easier to do something that is simple and fun.

But challenging things help your brain become stronger and teach you new skills.

The more challenges you tackle, the easier it becomes to take on the next one.

54. Growing up isn't so hard.

When you're a child, thinking about becoming a grown-up can be scary.

You might wonder how you'll ever be able to do what grown-ups do.

You might wish you never have to grow up because it looks so hard.

But growing up happens slowly with the help and support of your parents and other caring adults. You don't need to worry about it.

55. Manners matter.

Learning good manners makes a difference in how other people perceive you and helps you succeed in school and life.

Helping others, saying please and thank you, holding the door for someone, taking turns, and cleaning up after ourselves are examples of manners that other people notice and like.

56. Stand up for yourself.

It's hard to feel strong and brave when someone bullies you or gossips about you.

When other children are unkind or when you are left out, you may feel uncomfortable speaking up.

But you can stand up for yourself by letting others know how their words and behaviors make you feel and that you don't like being treated this way.

57. Do hard things first.

This is a hard life lesson for children and adults. We want to put off the things that are hard and do the easy, fun things first.

But the longer you delay the hard things, the harder they become.

When you put things off, you might not have enough time to complete them when you are supposed to.

Get the hard things (like homework and chores) out of the way first so you can enjoy the things you like to do without worry.

58. Think good things about yourself.

When you think of yourself as smart, strong, happy, and attractive you will become more of these things.

But if you think negative things about yourself, you will feel bad and unhappy.

Work on having positive thoughts, and speak positively about yourself, and you can change how you feel.

59. Have big dreams.

You can achieve just about anything you set your mind to.

Wake up every morning with an idea and think about how you want to make it happen.

Have some goals about what you want to do in school and once you become an adult.

Having life goals and dreams helps you make them real.

60. Practice honesty.

Telling the truth, even when you think you might get in trouble, is one of the most important life teachings to remember.

Your honesty shows others what kind of person you are.

You want others to trust you and believe you, but if you frequently tell lies or don't tell the entire truth, people begin to doubt you.

61. Be a good friend.

What does it mean to be a good friend? It’s easy to be a good friend when everything is fun and lighthearted.

But what about when your friend is upset or when other people say bad things about your friend. 

Being a good friend means being loyal, standing up for your friend, and forgiving them when they make mistakes. It also means saying you’re sorry when you hurt or offend your friend.

62. Play more. Plugin less.

Play is the most important thing you can do as a child. Playing outside or inside stimulates your creativity, helps you learn valuable life skills, and allows you to work off steam from school and other pressures. 

Playing outside makes you physically stronger, faster, and more coordinated. It also helps your brain develop in a healthy way — something that surfing your smartphone or computer all day doesn’t do.

63. Be yourself.

You may look at another friend and wish you could be more like him or her. Maybe they possess a quality you wish you had. But you are a unique and special person, and the best person you can be is yourself.

Starting today, look in the mirror and say, “I like myself. I am nice and fun to be around. I don’t need to be anyone different because I’m great just as I am.”

64. Keep trying.

Maybe you’ve had a hard time with homework or remembering things for a test. Or you haven’t done as well as you’d like in a sport or extracurricular activity.

When this happens, you may think you just can’t do it, or you don’t have what it takes. 

Don’t give up! When things get tough, you may feel like quitting, but push yourself a little harder and try again. You can improve anything if you keep trying.

65. Listen to your parents.

You may not like it when your parents don’t let you do things you want to do or punish you when you disobey.

But remember, your parents are the people who love you most in the world and who want you to stay safe, healthy, and happy. 

Your parents have a lot of life experience, and can guide you to make good choices and decisions that help you have a better life.

They give you a lot (their love, a home, clothes, toys, food), so show them your respect by listening and honoring them.

66. It’s okay to ask questions.

You may feel embarrassed or too shy to ask a question in school or with an adult.

Maybe you think asking questions means you aren’t smart or shows that you don’t know everything. But even adults don’t know everything, and asking questions is the best way to learn. 

Asking questions isn’t dumb but instead shows that you are curious and eager to learn. It shows how smart you are to want to know more. 

67. Talk about your fears and worries.

There’s a lot going on in the world that can be scary and upsetting. Sometimes things happen at school or with friends that are confusing or hurtful.

Or maybe you’ve done something you shouldn’t have done, and you feel guilty and bad. 

Holding these feelings inside can make things even worse. Worry and fear can even make you feel sick. But talking about your feelings with your parents or another safe adult makes you feel better and helps you understand your emotions .

Even if you’re worried your parents will get mad, it’s better to talk to them than to bottle up or hide what’s inside of you.

68. It’s okay to cry.

Crying is another way to release your negative feelings. It doesn’t mean you are weak or a baby. In fact, tears help you release stress chemicals in your body and make you feel calmer.

Boys especially need to accept that their tears are perfectly normal and acceptable.

69. Your grades aren’t as important as your character.

Of course, you and your parents are proud when you make good grades. Working hard in school is important and will help you with your future goals.

But your character is more important than your grades. You should never cheat to make good grades, and your grades are not as valuable to you or others as your honesty, kindness, and integrity. 

70. Life isn't always fair.

Life will hand you difficult and sometimes terrible circumstances.

You may feel like you've somehow been singled out for punishment or that the world is out to get you.

But over time, you'll discover that life isn't always fair for you or anyone.

The sooner you accept that, the easier it will be to move past difficult times and handle them more gracefully.

71. Your mom and dad know a few things.

As a young adult, you're working to establish your own identity, separate from your parent's identity.

Sometimes that shows up as pushing away their advice and believing your mom and dad don't have the answers.

They may not have all of the answers, but their many life experiences do provide them with wisdom and knowledge that can be extremely helpful to you.

72. Your happiness is your responsibility.

No one else is to blame for your problems, and no one else can make you happy.

It's completely up to you to figure out how to solve your problems and what you need in life to feel satisfied and content.

73. Be independent before you marry.

Before you get married or live with someone for the long term, be sure that you can stand on your own two feet emotionally and financially.

Don't depend on a love partner to fulfill you or take care of you.

Learn to be self-sufficient and independent before you settle down.

74. Take care of your body.

The investment you put into your health and fitness now will pay off in spades as you get older.

Don't take your health for granted, assuming it's fine to abuse your body (with drugs, alcohol, smoking, and being sedentary) because you're young.

Many older people look back with regret and wish they had taken better care of their bodies when they were your age.

75. Don't try to please everyone.

This is an impossible goal to achieve. Not everyone will approve of you, agree with you, or even like you.

Stay true to yourself, find your tribe, and accept that you can't please everyone. Trying to will only make you crazy.

76. It's not always about you.

When you encounter someone who is unpleasant, rude, or critical, quite often this person is dealing with their own issues and projecting them on to you.

Don't allow the bad behavior or negative temperament of someone else drag you down.

Remember that it's not always about you and isn't a reflection of your character or abilities.

77. Make your bed daily.

If you can develop this morning habit and do it every day when you get out of bed, you have set yourself up for success throughout the day.

It's a small accomplishment that sets the tone for the entire day, encouraging you to complete other tasks and goals you want to achieve.

78. Practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness is being present in the here and now and savoring the moment.

Rather than dwelling in the past or fretting about the future, you are focused on exactly what you are doing with full attention.

Mindfulness prevents anxiety and regret and gives you the mental and emotional bandwidth to enjoy life without mental distractions.

79. Character matters.

Having good character and living your life in alignment with your integrity sets you apart and gives you a foundation for making the best decisions and choices.

Good character traits like honesty, loyalty, responsibility, and perseverance should be an essential component of your identity if you want to feel good about yourself and gain the respect of others.

80. Tip well.

Whether or not you’ve worked in a restaurant, you know how hard servers work and how they rely on tips for much of their income. Never skip out on tipping a server or leave an insulting amount of money for a tip.

If the service is average, tip 15%. Tip 20% for service that is better than average. Tipping well communicates to your server that you appreciate their efforts.

81. Everything in moderation.

You don’t need to get drunk to enjoy social drinking or starve yourself in order to have the perfect body.

If your mental health is suffering because you’re pulling all-nighters to have a 4.0 GPA, then your life is out of balance. Or if you’re not studying because you’re on social media all the time, something’s amiss.

It’s easy to fall into habitual or even addictive patterns that are unhealthy. The old adage, “Everything in moderation,” can be your mantra to help you create boundaries to protect yourself from overdoing it in any area of your life.

82. Find your community.

As a young adult, this is the time you’re discovering yourself and who you are.

Look around you to see if the company you keep reflects the person you are or want to be. If not, find a community of like-minded people who support you and inspire you to be your best. 

83. The internet is forever.

If you put it out there, it stays out there. In five, ten, or twenty years, do you want that picture of you drunk at a party or the not-so-professional comments you shared in a weak moment to reflect your character?

As Viktor Frankl wrote, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” Use the space before you hit “enter” to consider what you put online and how it might impact you in years to come. 

84. You are not entitled.

It doesn’t matter where you grew up, how successful your parents are, the color of your skin, or how attractive you may be — you aren’t entitled to anything special as a result.

You may have a leg up because of these things, but your response to this should be gratitude for the gifts you’ve been given rather than entitlement because you have them. 

Life has a way of showing us that the gifts we were born with don’t compare to the effort we expend and the gratitude we express along the way.

85. Be the change you want.

You are the future. You are in charge of building the world that you want. Don’t complain about what past generations have done or the legacy they have left. Get busy being the change you want to see. 

86. Save money. 

If you want to build wealth and live a comfortable life, save money every month.

Learn to delay gratification and prioritize putting money away before you spend on non-essentials.

If you start at age 25 saving $100 a month (at a 7% return rate), you’ll have a nest egg of $343,000 at age 70. If you save $200 a month, you’ll have $767,000 when you retire.

87. Your problems aren’t unique.

It’s true that young adults today suffer more anxiety and depression than the previous generation. And it may seem your problems are unique and more challenging than those faced by past generations. 

But each generation has faced turmoil, defeat, and calamities. What matters is not who has it the hardest but rather how can you learn to cope with the inevitable challenges of life.

Fortunately, you have more resources than ever available to you online and with counseling, coaching, and other helping professions. 

88. Pursue adventures now. 

If you long to travel or want to follow a career passion that isn’t as certain as that accounting job, do it now before you have family commitments or time restrictions that prevent you.

Use this adventure time to expand yourself and your interests. Meet new people and make valuable connections for the future. Take on a part-time gig to support your travels or your passion if need be.

89. Be prepared for opportunity.

If you want to move ahead in your career, you need to set yourself up for success.

That requires being prepared when opportunities arise.

Learn as much as you can about your career field and know what you want your next move to be. Learn additional skills that will make you more of an asset.

Keep your resume updated and your interview skills polished.

90. Prove your worth.

Show the people you work for that you are worth every penny they have invested in you.

Do more than is asked of you. Initiate new ideas that support your company’s mission.

Show up early and stay late at times. Be prepared and on time for meetings and events.

91. Stay professional.

There will always be conflict and difficult personalities in any job.

But rather than allowing these challenges to frustrate you and compel you to lose your cool, do your best to remain professional in these situations.

Be the steady and thoughtful anchor when others around you are behaving unprofessionally.

92. Have goals.

Know what you want in your career and have a vision for how you are going to get there.

Don’t allow the winds of fate to determine your professional future. Become the captain of your destiny and work toward achieving what you want.

93. Build connections.

You never know who can support, sponsor, and promote you along the way.

Build relationships with all sorts of people and show them that you value their work and contributions.

Don’t hesitate to reach out to those in higher positions to introduce yourself and see how you might add value to what they do.

94. Focus on results, not activity.

Being busy at work doesn’t necessarily mean you are being productive. Know what you are working toward and what your organization is trying to achieve.

Spent your time and energy where you’ll get the most results that benefit you and your company.

95. Find mentors.

Seek out someone who is doing what you want to do, who has more experience and insights. Study that person and learn as much about his or her career path as possible.

Find a way to support that person and if possible, spend time with them so you can learn from them.

96. Control digital temptations.

Just about every job involves time on a computer and smartphone. These valuable work tools can also be huge distractions.

Make it a priority to resist the temptations of social media, email checking, and news surfing so you don’t lose focus and time on the job.

97. Give credit to others. 

Look for opportunities to let others shine in the spotlight and give credit when credit is due.

Yes, you must promote yourself at times, but you will gain more respect when you honor and support the people around you as well.

98. Listen more than talk.

We all love the sound of our own voices, but you’ll learn more by listening than talking.

When you listen more, you prevent yourself from saying something dumb or not well-considered.

You also gain more knowledge and information. Then when you do speak, people will really listen.

99. Diversify your knowledge.

You don’t want to stagnate in your job because you are pigeonholed in one area or skill. Take the initiative to learn new skills or get more education or training to make you a more valuable and marketable employee. 

100. Remember, success doesn’t happen overnight.

In a world of instant gratification, it’s hard to wait for success in your career. But most people don’t find career success until they’ve put in many years of effort and hard work.

Rather than delaying your happiness until you’ve reach the pinnacle, find joy in achieving small wins and milestones along the way.

Find fulfillment in the process of success rather than just the culmination. 

101. Learn your boss’s job.

You’re not trying to get rid of your boss but rather to be prepared if the times comes for someone to replace him or her.

Observe what your boss does daily and how he or she does it. Ask to take on some of your boss’s responsibilities with supervision.

Find ways to make your supervisor’s work life easier and more productive. As you become more invaluable, others will see you as next in line.

102. Be a positive influence.

There may be parts of your job you hate, or you may find your co-workers or even your supervisor difficult or unpleasant.

But rather than complaining or joining others in kvetching about the work or your organization, be a positive and calm force who doesn’t complain or gossip. 

103. Dress for the job you want.

These days the office environment is more casual than in years past. Entry-level employees in particular, may get by wearing jeans and other informal attire. 

Pay attention to the person whose job you’d like to have. What are they wearing? You don’t need to dress like the CEO, but up your game by making your work wardrobe more polished and professional — even if your peers don’t.

104. Be smart but ethical.

If you are vying for that promotion or to lead the next project, your co-workers are likely doing the same thing.

Everyone is competing to rise to the top, so be smart about your opportunities and distinguish yourself from others. 

But don’t compromise your ethics to reach your goals. Your character speaks volumes to decision-makers.

105. Be willing to do the hard things.

Every job has its fair share of grunt work and difficult tasks. By avoiding them, they don’t get easier or make you look professional.

Tackle the tough stuff first and get it out of your mind so you have the bandwidth to work on more interesting things. 

106. Don’t always ask for permission.

You’re an adult and have a job that needs to be done. You don’t need to ask permission for everything decision or action you take.

Be a self-starter and try to find solutions on your own without first going to a supervisor. 

Get feedback from co-workers or other more senior staff if you need to. Show that you’re capable of figuring things out without handholding. 

107. Don’t hold grudges.

There may be people in your workplace who have offended or mistreated you. You may have been fired or not given a position you thought you deserved. 

Express your anger or resentment to your friends and family, but avoid holding grudges against those who’ve wronged you. You never know when you may meet up with this person again in your career.

And you don’t know if your negative comments might one day reach a future potential employer.

108. Learn to compromise.

You can’t be in a successful marriage or love relationship without compromising at times.

The power dynamic can’t be one-sided — you are partners who must learn the give and take required from being paired with someone.

109. Forgiveness is powerful.

Be quick to forgive and let go of minor issues. Try not to keep score or hang on to grudges.

Don’t allow resentment and anger to fester. It will destroy your relationship over time.

110. Love doesn’t heal everything.

The love between you is what brought you together and keeps your relationship alive.

But love alone isn’t enough to manage the challenges and issues you’ll face as a couple.

Good communication skills, patience, and kindness (among other things) are essential for a healthy relationship.

111. The relationship must come first.

Your relationship must be your priority — over your career, kids, extended family, or anything else.

It should be the centerpiece of your life if you want all of the other aspects of your life to be happy and healthy.

112. Emotional abuse destroys intimacy.

Immature behaviors , verbal attacks, passive-aggressiveness, and control will undermine your closeness and the trust and respect between you.

Avoid emotionally abuse behaviors at all costs so you don’t poison your love and intimacy.

113. Your identity doesn’t depend on your partner.

Your relationship is primary, but that doesn’t mean you can’t maintain your separate identities.

Look to your spouse or partner as a partner — not someone you depend on to define you and make you whole.

114. Honor your love languages.

Learn about the five love languages and how important they are to your relationship.

Honor your partner’s love language, and ask your partner to honor yours.

You both need to be loved in the way that feels loving to you.

115. Communication is critical.

You can’t ignore problems or stop talking because you are angry or frustrated. If you do, resentments build and create bigger problems.

Regular communication about conflict and difficult issues may be uncomfortable, but it ensures you clear the air and find solutions together. 

116. Alone time is important.

We all need time to ourselves even in the most connected and intimate relationship.

You both need time for self-reflection, reading, or just recharging.

Giving that time to one another is a gift, and it doesn't mean you aren't bonded as a couple. In fact, it allows your bond to be stronger when you come back together .

117. Keep the spark.

Romance and intimacy can diminish over time, so it's vital to your relationship that you work on keeping the spark alive.

Plan dates together and find mutual interests that you can enjoy as a couple.

Find ways to spice up your sex life so it doesn't become rote and boring.

118. Be present.

A relationship is all about relating, and you can’t relate if you are constantly distracted and disengaged. When you and your partner are together, be fully present for him or her. Put down your phone and turn off the TV. 

Take a walk together and talk about your day. Listen to your partner attentively and show him or her that you genuinely care about what they are sharing.

If your life is busy, schedule time every day to be present for one another so that you don’t drift into separate lives. 

119. Never show contempt.

Contempt is showing disdain, condescension, and disrespect toward your partner. It’s a way of telling your partner you are better or smarter than they are.

According to relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, contempt is the most destructive behavior between love partners.

It erodes intimacy and ultimately kills the relationship. Contempt is an attitude you should never, ever have toward your partner or express to them. 

120. Heal conflict quickly.

If you allow conflict and discord to simmer for days or weeks unresolved, it becomes much more difficult to address.

The problem grows in the minds of both of you, and what could have been resolved easily now takes more time and emotional energy. 

Or you may sweep a conflict under the rug, never addressing it at all, only to have resentment and anger undermine your closeness and trust.

Address conflict as soon as you are both calm and able to talk as a team, putting the health of the relationship first. 

121. Understand you won’t change him/her.

If you begin a relationship believing you can change the other person, you’ll be in for a sad surprise.

You may see qualities in your significant other you don’t like and believe you can inspire him or her to let them go. 

But real change occurs when people have internal motivation to change. If you try to strong-arm change, your partner will resent you and feel they are never enough.

Accept your lover as he or she is and focus on what you love rather than what’s missing. 

122. Be appreciative.

One of the most common relationship complaints is the feeling that one partner takes the other for granted. The best way to remedy this issue is by both partners showing daily appreciation for one another. 

Be appreciative of who your partner is, what they bring to the relationship, and how they positively impact your life.

Show gratitude for the small and large efforts your partner makes for you and your family.  

123. Recognize your partner’s not a mind reader.

Never assume your spouse or significant other knows what you are thinking or feeling. He or she can’t read your mind and shouldn’t be expected to intuit your feelings and needs.

Don’t use passive-aggressive behaviors to hint at what you want or how you feel, even if you’re uncomfortable expressing it.

Speak directly and plainly if you want your partner to know and understand you.

124. Change happens.

If you’re in a relationship for the long haul, expect that your spouse or partner will grow and evolve over time. So will you. Sometimes you grow together, and sometimes you don’t.

Preparing yourself for the inevitable changes you both experience can help you navigate them as a team and keep your relationship solid. 

125. Comparison creates animosity.

Does someone else’s husband or wife seem more successful, attractive, or attentive than yours? Do your neighbors live a more lavish lifestyle than you can afford? 

Comparing your situation or your spouse to another person’s is a recipe for constant dissatisfaction and animosity between you.

Spend your emotional energy on the positive aspects of your relationship and life, and you’ll find that you are both happier. 

126. Know when to let go.

Hanging on to a relationship out of boredom, fear, loneliness, or guilt is not the foundation for a loving and close connection.

If the relationship is broken, and you know it can’t be fixed, then the best thing you can do for both of you is to let it go.

Letting go doesn’t mean you or your partner are failures. It reveals self-awareness and courage to say goodbye to someone you once loved when the connection no longer works. 

127. Practice empathy.

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person's shoes and understand his or her feelings.

Empathy shows you aren't just self-interested but want to connect with other people in a kind and loving way.

128. Respect the property of others.

By definition, showing respect for people requires you to respect their possessions. You don't take things or “borrow” them without asking.

If you are using something that belongs to another person (with permission), you take care of it and return it in the same (or better) condition it was when you borrowed it.

129. Develop courage.

Courage is showing strength in the face of hardship, grief, or pain. It's also doing something difficult and necessary in spite of your fear or anxiety about it.

Being able to step out of your comfort zone for a greater good reflects character and self-confidence. It makes you stronger and more resilient.

130. Be loyal to others.

Being loyal with those you care about means sticking with them through good times and bad — even when it would be easier or less painful to cut them off.

Loyalty involves being honest even when it's hard. It means there are not “conditions” on your relationship or friendship. And it also means you have boundaries and respecting the boundaries of the other person.

131. Cultivate tolerance of others.

Tolerance means you acknowledge and accept the opinions, values, culture, and beliefs of others — even if they differ from your own.

You don't respond to these differences with negativity or anger but rather with curiosity and evenness.

132. Don't judge.

When you judge others, you reveal a smallness in yourself — a sense of self-righteousness that lacks compassion.

Being less judgmental involves practicing empathy. You seek to understand the other person and view the situation or decision through his or her perspective.

133. Be dependable.

You know how it feels when someone let's you down and fails to follow through on a promise.

Be someone that others can count on. Do what you say you'll do . Show up on time. Live up to your commitments.

134. Have a generous spirit.

Generosity doesn't always mean giving away money or possessions. Being generous with others involves giving your time, your emotional energy, and your kind words without expecting anything in return.

A generous person is able to celebrate the successes of others and give credit when credit is due. Generosity of spirit is a quality that draws others to you.

135. Practice patience.

You've seen impatient people who get angry and complain when they don't get what they want right away. It's an unattractive and off-putting quality that reflects selfishness and immaturity.

It is hard to be patient, especially in this age of instant gratification. When you feel impatience boiling over, practice deep breathing and bring yourself back to the present moment.

136. Prioritize your family.

In a hectic world, it’s easy to neglect your family members and assume they will always be there for you.

But you need to be there for them and continue to cultivate your relationship with them. Unless your family is toxic , they should be the most important people in your life.

Maintain your close connection with your parents, siblings, and extended family members. They give you a sense of belonging, pass on traditions, and provide an invaluable support system.

137. Honor the dignity of all people.

All people, no matter their race, religion, income, background, or age, should be treated with respect and dignity.

You are no better than others, and no one is better than you. People may be different in many ways, but everyone deserves courtesy and kindness.

138. Support social justice and human rights.

You may not be an activist, but you can support fairness in wealth, opportunities, and basic needs. You can speak out about equality, gender discrimination, racism, and educational opportunities. 

Begin by educating yourself on these matters, examining your own opinions and beliefs and using social media to educate others. If you want to take action, volunteer your time for a cause you support, or join a protest or demonstration.

As humans, it is our obligation to look out for one another and correct injustices in society.

139. Develop self-discipline.

Self-discipline or willpower is a learned practice that builds your inner strength and character.

It helps you overcome temptations that stand in the way of your goals or undermine your relationships. With self-discipline, you learn to tolerate emotional discomfort for a greater good. 

140. Practice discretion.

Discretion is the practice of keeping private or sensitive information to yourself. If someone shares a secret with you, you don’t talk about it with others.

If you are privy to information at work, you don’t show it to others or leave it where people can see.

Discretion is a way of showing respect for other people — weighing whether or not sharing would cause harm to them.

141. Be a role model. 

Set an example as a positive role model of good character, and you can help shape a future generation of young people.

When you demonstrate integrity, leadership, respect, positivity, and humility, you make others want to be better people. The added benefit is that you become a better person yourself.

142. Keep your composure. 

Are you able to remain calm and in control of yourself during stressful or upsetting situations?

Maintaining composure and keeping your emotions in check is one of the most difficult acts of self-discipline.

But practicing composure allows you to make thoughtful and clear decisions and prevents you from doing or saying something you’ll later regret. 

143. Return favors. 

If someone has gone out of their way for you or extended a kindness, find a way to do the same for them.

Don’t allow favors from others to pile up without extending yourself and showing your appreciation. 

144. Revere your reputation.

As Will Rogers famously admonished, “It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but you can lose it in a minute.”

You can damage your professional reputation by doing something unsavory in your personal life. You can ruin it by unethical or compromising actions in your professional life.

Guard your reputation with attentive care. You may be remembered for the one bad thing you do rather than all the good you've done in the past.

145. Stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves.

Throughout your life, you'll encounter people who don't have the ability, power, knowledge, or money to stand up for themselves.

Vulnerable people appear in all walks of life and can be victims of fate, circumstance, or people. If you see an injustice or an opportunity to help someone who can't help themselves, view it as a calling from your higher self to step up.

You help not just to help the other person but also because it is universally the right thing to do.

More Related Articles:

65 Tough Relationship Questions Every Couple Should Ask

The Ultimate List of Core Values

27 Green Flags That Signal A Definite Go With Your New Relationship 

Final Thoughts

What life lesson resonated most with you?

Was there a life lesson — or maybe several — that spoke to you?

Reading about these lessons is one thing, but it's hard to adopt these new ideas if you've developed different behaviors and habits over the years.

If you take the time now to work on new mindsets and behaviors, you won't experience regret years down the road when you realize how important these practices are.

Choose one or two to work on over the next few months. Write down a list of behaviors you need to change or mindsets you want to adjust, as well as action steps to help you make these changes.

Create a reminder and accountability system to help you stay on track with your goals. And be sure to celebrate your accomplishments as you adopt these life teachings as a permanent part of your character.

32 thoughts on “The Ultimate List Of 145 Life Lessons You Must Learn”

I agree with all of this – excellent

Here is a lesson I have learned. It is hard having the courage to find adversity but it is worthwhile.

Barrie, It’s so easy these days to see a list like this and feel a bit sceptical about the quality if the information it will contain. I read your list and it is spot on. It’s fantastic and not only am I going to take it and ponder it deeply for myself I also can tink of a number of people imediately that I want to send it to as I know it will get them thinking.

Thnak you for a real respurce with this post.

Monique Rhodes Founder

“Old saying”?? Give credit to George Bernard Shaw.

I believe this list is almost perfect. The only thing I would add to it is: Act, don’t react.

this is a wonderful list and guidelines to successful life. I appreciate all your words and wisdom.

Barrie, I haven’t even read this yet and I’m already ecstatic! I asked awhile ago if you’d do a post like this and was going to write you again, so thank you!!! You rock 🙂

Awesomeness good rules to follow!

51. Surround Yourself with People who lift you 52. Smile Everyday. 53. Don’t expect to change others until you have changed yourself. 54. There is a reason you putting off that difficult conversation. Have it now. 55. Haven’t found your passion? Keep looking (Passion changes and evolves).

You’ve learned a lot in your life, Barrie! I like the fact that thoughts aren’t real! I fully believe and support that. Best to let them float by than attach to them.

I love what Davis Nguyen had to add – excellent and helpful. My own: Time is precious – it is the stuff life is made of – use it wisely and well.

What is said is very true..what ever your age might be…you yourself will be experiencing the essence of all these 50 statements. For me at the age of 27, I have experienced more than half of these…everybody knows them..but what is difficult is how to put them into PRACTICE…experiencing is totally different from learning from your experiences..The latter is the one that will help you rather than just piling up all your experiences growing old…ONE THING I FELT MISSING IS…..one of the EASIEST AND BEST WAYS of PUTTING INTO PRACTICE ALL THESE 50 ….IS by SURRENDERANCE TO GOD ALMIGHTY….practice SPIRITUALITY, in any form it might be…which will help u achieve all these and generate POSITIVE ENERGY…51.TO include….MAKE PRAYER a part of your DAILY ROUTINE…just like exercise heals ur body…PRAYER heals you from inside…and results in PEACE…SURRENDER all your worries to god and ask him for STRENGTH..to handle your LIFE….properly by keeping in MIND all the above 50 statements..GOD BLESS US ALL

TEGA what a range of intuition youve got by adding/including the last MOST important rule which is by SURRENDERANCE TO GOD ..by that which you’ve insured and sure of a lifetime progress and by then makes it easier to put into practise the remaining motivational rules mentioned above in life ..nice tega! may God continue to broaden our understanding to life

Loved this blog post – very compelling list. Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🙂

For some of us debt is unavoidable. I have crushing student debt and then in my last years of school became disabled and unable to work but still have all this debt expected to be paid back. I definetly live humbly because of it but I don’t think I did anything wrong to be ashamed of.

Excellent….here is one of the best novel by Turkish Writer Elif Shafak about 40 rules of love…..will impress and life changing for everyone…must read and thank you.

I appreciated this motivation and leasons about life . Thanks

This is great!. Life comes with natural laws which affect our decisions and actions. All I can Say is; indeed failure is good and fear is not real. You can be who you want to be. Life is simple so don’t complicate yourself.

This is a wonderful list and guidelines to successful life. I appreciate all your words and wisdom. Thanks

life isnt fair fake it till u make it

These are awesome lesson’s of life. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful article.

Thanks for the list….god bless you

nice lessons to follow. specially fear is an illusion and exercise is power. at least everyone should follow couple of them

I must say you bring up every part I learned so I guess I have become “Wiser than I give myself credit for”? I think as humans we all can be hard on ourselves and this was a great read. Recently, myself furthermore a bit of my experience leading me to your page. I did some major reevaluating after my father had become ill. I was never close to him I come to realize and accept not his fault, not judging because I understand but deep down I believe was not good for me, of influence and there are people out there that truly love and care about me. I had to learn from my mistakes to gain wisdom that I truly wasn’t not happy at the time (therefore figuring out how) but ended up being a care-taker. I didn’t realize it had stressed me out where I had become very judgemental and not trusting of people. But then figured out how to deal with autoimmune disease that affects my stress level through diet. So of dramatic irony, he had taught me to take care of myself.

I took the time off to take care of myself and reevaluate and then I didn’t realize until afterwards acquiring wisdom throughout an entire section of my library and taking some time for myself watching my favorite old shows as a child with hidden wisdom that not only made me realize wisdom but inspired me.

I realize, i am actually pretty lucky because not only with that wisdom I had learned how to drive but with that wisdom of dramatic irony again, not meaning to judge put me on the road for a better life and through the wisdom I found gave me a new hobby. I believe he brought the worst out in me but it was because I willing to learn from the wisdom I was greatful for the past experience even if at the time it “Felt” hard because like it says anything going through a hard time is temporary/past and I realize will get better and now I am safe, secure and can be truly happy.

Also, realized I have gotten better, not only learned how to drive but have acquired skills essential for a job. Basically, I like to think of it as Mrs Doubtfire role: Through optimism and creativity I didn’t realize I already had a job at the same time, find the joy in everyday-without leaving the house lol. I reevaluated further through wisdom really was a blessing in disguise because brought me closer to my mother.

Then, the air broke down so I had to sleep closer to her from then on but we actually had bought each other fans around the same time the air broke down Basically, seems through caring and compassion we give each other air which turns out we both have the same sign air lol

Also, realizing old subconcious negative habits I have had for about 5 past years. I started with my autoimmune disease and then being able to eat again the way I liked. Then, I read about “Grief” finding out I was in the acceptance part the same time I was caretaking so was going through alot, don’t like to put a label on it. But if it wasn’t for this, wouldnt’ve given me wisdom to be a happier better person. Then, I realized about the little things being greatful for what i truly love and love to do everyday. I would start going for bike rides and write down ideas that came to me when I came back. I also log my dreams too both as well as reading pretty theraputic. I started some bibliothrapy with what I discovered…

Also, including basically what I like to call negative expectations which includes and this is human nature I realize, had not been honest with, too hard on myself, learned about Optimism which I didn’t realize had in me all along but when I stopped believing in myself had given into pessimissm, I read about being too hard on self I call self-judgement or you may have heard the term resentment and then also what is refered to but I don’t being an Optimist lol as Self-Sabatoge including Negative Perfectionism which I realized what it comes down to is Optimism, Excellence and positive expectations, don’t stress don’t judge and don’t repress.

But basically I realize how much I learned and now it’s just a matter of letting go, thinking of remembering things that I believe in, truly remember and being happy. Personally I think 3/4 of the day I’m happy half of the week is not such a bad thing. It’s basically taking a little more time to learn more and have some fun. I also discovered a new hobby I enjoyed doing including shadowworkplay and I must say thinking about it there’s a lot of positive reinforcement wisdom compassion there that has helped me and realize not only will I feel better but will help me drive on with what i want and who I love in my life and look back and laugh in good humor with life lessons/morals and I came across your page doing so must say this is one of the most greatful parts of my day today. Thank you for the experience. May you help others as you have helped me!

Very wise thoughts. Here is one that I told many years ago by a very wise mentor. “Always make sure that you understand what you already have before you wish for more”. This applies to all things emotional and physical.

I agree, Great words.

Comments are closed.

• Jun 16, 2020

The Greatest Lessons I’ve Learned in Life…So Far

I don’t know everything or have all the answers, no one does. But one thing I do know, is that when I started to look at my life as a series of learning experiences, I was able to view the world from a clear, more positive perspective. Every day of my life I learn something new. I am observant on purpose . Some of the things that I learn really cause me to ponder...

During these 50 years of my life I have come to realize that many things I've been through were lessons I needed to learn in order to grow. These times in my life have contributed to the person that I am today, and honestly, I like who I have become. It has taken me a long time to realize that these things have helped to shape my life... in a positive way... even though some of the things I went through didn't seem so positive at the time.

These lessons I've learned over the years may seem like no-brainers to some people, and that's okay because we are all living our lives the best way we know how. Everyone has their list of life lessons that are a direct result of the situations and circumstances that have shaped who they've become. I know this is true for me.

Some of the Lessons I’ve Learned in Life

1. A good laugh or cry always makes you feel better.

I don’t know why it is, but letting go of emotions always makes me feel a sense of relief. There is nothing better than laughing out loud with friends or family, even if it is laughing at the most ridiculous things.

On the other hand, a good cry through whatever adverse situation you are going through also releases the built up emotions that have been bottled up inside. I always feel a sense of calm after facing situations and dealing with the emotions, good or bad, that go with them.

2. We are all going to fail at some point. Don't miss the lesson the failure is meant to teach you.

It’s inevitable, we all fail sometimes. What is important about the failure is how you deal with it. It takes a while to learn to take a step back from a failure and ask yourself: “What am I supposed to learn from this?”

Maybe the answer is as simple as learning to pick yourself up and start over. Maybe it's an opportunity to give you a reason to try harder. Whatever the lesson may be, it is there to help shape us and mold us into the person we are meant to be. When you view failure as a positive experience, you will decrease the negative feelings that failure can bring.

3. Not everyone will like you, and that's OK!

This was a hard lesson for me to learn because I have always looked at myself as a “likable” person. I always try to be friendly and welcoming, but that doesn't always equate to being liked. It’s hard to accept that there are just some people who do not like me, for whatever reason.

As I get older, I realize that whoever these people are, they have their reasons for the way they feel and they are free to feel that way. As long as I know that I do my best keep my integrity and treat others respectfully, they cannot affect who I am if I do not let them.

4. YOU are accountable for your actions and choices…and NO ONE else!

I have been trying to instill this fact in my children since they were old enough to understand. A lot of people are very quick to blame others for their misfortunes, bad choices, and situations when in reality, they need to take a good look in the mirror. For some people, it is always someone else’s fault.

The truth is, each of us is responsible for ourselves and need to accept the outcome of our actions and choices. Accountability for your own actions is an important part of maturity and understanding that each choice you make has a consequence is something you can never forget.

5. It’s best to take a deep breath and pause before you show your anger.

This has been a struggle for me. Sometimes I can be quick tempered and it is something I work on every day. I think that I have gotten better as I get older. Honestly, I know from experience that it is always best to take a step back and collect yourself and your thoughts before lashing out. I always try to remind myself that I cannot take back words or actions once I've let them out.

The same goes for sending a nasty email or text. Never send an email or text when you are angry. Write it if you must, but never hit send until you have time to cool down!

6. Having a victim mentality will always keep you a victim.

We are supposed to learn from the things that happen in our lives and move on. I'm not saying to forget the bad things, I'm saying don't let them define who you are.

Many people are stuck in the past and cannot see what greatness and potential lies ahead. You cannot move forward if you’re constantly looking backward. Create a future based on your past experiences and use the pain to make your life meaningful...like helping others through the same type of experience.

7. No one owes you anything .

Seriously, they don’t. I mean it, NO. ONE. OWES. YOU. ANYTHING. Having an "I'm entitled" mindset will not lead you anywhere. I tell my boys this over and over. Which brings me to #8 ....

8. If you want something…you have to work hard for it.

This is an extension of #7 . If you want something bad enough, work hard to get it. Work until your fingers bleed. Work until you are tired and can’t see straight. Don’t wait for whatever it is you want to fall in your lap or for someone to give it to you. Go out and grab it.

Trust me, you will be much more protective of whatever it is if you earn it, rather than having it handed to you. Nothing can replace the feelings of success when you work with everything you have for whatever it is you desire.

9. Every decision you make or action you take has a consequence.

This is really an extension of #4 but needs to be reiterated. Every decision, choice and action you make really does have consequences; some good, some bad. You cannot go through life thinking that you can do anything you please without some kind of consequence.

It’s very simple…If you commit a crime, eventually you will get caught. If you work hard, you will eventually see the fruits of your labor. That is why I pray so hard when faced with decisions to make. If it is in the will of God, He will assist me to make the right choices. This is an important lesson that I have had to learn...more than once.

10. The people you love will hurt you sometimes.

People you love may not want to hurt you, but sometimes they do. This is a part of life and love and relationships. This is why unconditional love is so important. Unconditional love allows us to see beyond the hurt and into the heart of the person who hurt us and to know their true intentions. It also allows us to make a decision as to whether or not the person who hurt you even has a place in your life. Remember, God places people in your life, but He also removes them from your life.

11. Prayer works

This is actually the most important lesson that I have learned. Call it saving the best for last... it is the one I want to leave fresh in your mind.

I honestly don't know where I would be without God in my life. I have to pray . I have to seek God's Word. I have to know that I am doing what He has laid out for me. I have to pray for others.

God is there - always; in the darkest hours and on the brightest days. He answers - always. His answers may not be what I think they should be, but He knows best. Prayer is what gets me through everything and without it, without Jesus, I would be lost.

Related Post : Things I Know For Certain

Each of these lessons that I listed are a result of my own personal experiences. Perhaps you can relate to some of them. I'm sure that as I continue to experience new things, I will add to the list.

What are some life lessons that you have learned? Maybe you are stuck in an area of your life and are unsure of the lesson. If so, pray through it and ask God to reveal it to you... He will.

Don’t forget that every lesson is meant to build you up to become the best version of yourself. There are no bad lessons… each one serves a purpose in your life.

Count each lesson in your life as a blessing, even when it seems like an impossible thing to do.

#Inspiration #Life #PrayerWorks #GodIsInControl #LifeLessons

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33 Important Life Lessons to Learn in Life Early

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’ve learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Life is a learning process. You can learn important life lessons by reading, watching educative videos, or through experience. You can save a lot of time and energy by learning from other peoples’ experiences.

33 Lessons in Life You Need to Learn

Here’re important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people who are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale . If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose , and do it all at the same time.

Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit. Try these 7 Ways To Train Yourself To Be More Mindful.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected, and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values. This is What You Need to Do to Stop Being a People Pleaser .

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

We tend to take our good health for granted because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse-quickening love, and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling ; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

This is Why Your Perception Is Your Reality .

10. Patience Is a Virtue

One of the most important life lessons that you need to learn is the importance of patience. Patience is defined as an individual’s ability to wait for something significant to happen without feeling frustrated due to the delay. In life, you’ll have to wait for a lot of things without feeling negative.

Managing your money requires patience. You’ll have to do your best to avoid getting frustrated by the challenges and time required to pay off your debt, increase your income and enjoy your returns on investments. When you become patient, you’ll achieve your biggest goals and experience true happiness.

11. Your Comfort Zone Is Your Enemy

If you want to achieve your biggest goals in life, you’ll need to get out of your comfort zone. Also, achieving significant things with your money will require you to feel uncomfortable.

A good example of getting out of the comfort zone to achieve your financial goals is investing your money. Even if you don’t know everything about investing, you need to start investing early for your money to work for you. Another instance can be meeting with your employer to ask for a raise. While it’s a difficult thing to do, it will help you achieve your financial goals in the long run.

12. Be the Early Bird

In general, people who adopt something early or arrive first usually have an edge over latecomers. For example, arriving early at an event allows you to pick a good seat and meet important people. Starting early or being the first has lots of benefits.

You can apply this lesson to your finances especially when it comes to saving and investing. People who start investing early always have an edge over the latecomers. Your money needs time to multiply in the market. Therefore, always strive to be the early bird.

13. Starting Is the Only Way to Make Progress

This is one of the life lessons learned that is worth stating this year. The only way to make progress in every aspect of life is by taking action. No progress happens when you complain.

Progress automatically begins when you start. Setting goals is a huge part of starting. Getting one percent better every day is better than not getting started at all.

14. Live In the Present Moment

The majority of experts in the field of psychology usually tell people that a huge part of depression revolves around living in the past. Anxiety, on the other hand, is caused by spending a lot of time worrying about the future.

Focusing too much on the negative side of life or trying to come up with a perfect plan for the future can make you miss out on the present moment. Missing out on the present moment can lead to regret. Strive to focus on the present moment today to transform your life.

15. Being Nice to People Pays

We are all different and unique. Nobody is better or smarter than you. Therefore, you don’t have to boss people around or domineer them. Being nice to people especially when you are working your way up will help you achieve your goals quickly.

No one knows what life has in store for them. Being kind and supportive will go a long way in transforming your life. One day, you’ll need a kindness from other people. And you’ll always get what you give. This is one of the good life lessons to adopt early in life.

16. Set Boundaries

One of the best lessons in life that you need to learn in life is setting healthy boundaries especially if you are around toxic people.

Regardless of whether they are family members, or co-workers, being around toxic people leads to arguments, high blood pressure, and a negative attitude. If toxic people have to be in your life, you need to limit the capacity. Setting healthy boundaries and sticking to them will pay off in the long run.

17. Work-Life Balance Is Key

Most people around the world have a poor work-life balance. They spend most of their time working hard to increase their income, get a promotion, or avoid losing their job.

When you spend too much time in the workplace, you’ll start neglecting important people in life. Also, you need to take care of yourself and your wellbeing. By organizing yourself and managing your time effectively, you’ll be amazed at how much you can accomplish in less time. Focus on working smarter instead of harder.

18. Life Is Not Fair

In the end, one of the valuable life lessons that everybody learns is life doesn’t always go the way we want. This can lead to anger and frustration. However, in the end, life always has the best intentions for us.

When you acknowledge this lesson, you’ll start living fully because you’ll be aware of the fact that there is nothing perfect in life. Most people go through their lives feeling like the world owes them something. However, this is not true. You’ll have to make your way in life. And there’ll always be people who are more knowledgeable than you.

19. You Are Stronger Than You Think

Regardless of what life throws at you, you are stronger than you think. You can stand up for yourself and take everything that life throws at you. You’ll always figure things out even if it seems like an impossible challenge. As time passes, you’ll learn that you are stronger than you think and you can face your challenges confidently.

20. All Problems Have Solutions

This is an important life lesson that we all learn in life. When you are faced with a problem, it’s always important to put in the time and energy to find a solution. Even if you don’t find the best solution right away, don’t give up. There will be times when life will throw you a ball. And you’ll think that things cannot get worse.

At your worst moment, pick yourself up, think of the best solutions and focus on rising with more strength. One of the best ways to come up with solutions is by writing down your problem in detail and the best solutions. Also, don’t be afraid to seek help when you need it.

21. Forgiveness Sets You Free

You’ve probably heard numerous times people say that someone doesn’t deserve their forgiveness. And it’s true. Other people don’t deserve your forgiveness. However, you do. You have to release the hurt, anger, and frustration towards other people. And the best way is to forgive.

Anger and hurt are not only bad for the people close to you but also for yourself. You’ll never find true joy, inner peace, or happiness if you keep carrying and spreading hurt and anger. Let go of toxic emotions. And you’ll start enjoying your life to the fullest. Forgive other people for your sake.

22. Some People Don’t Want You to Succeed

This is one of the most important life lessons that you’ll learn in life. Your family and friends always want the best for you. However, they are afraid of losing you. They want you to stay safe and live in your comfort zone.

They don’t want you to do crazy things like moving out, starting a business, moving in with a partner, or starting a new career to name a few. You have to do what you want without worrying about what other people think.

Once you start your journey, the right people will show up. Stick to your path. Remember, it’s your life. This is the best lesson for life.

23. Help Others as Much as You Can

You need to start helping people as much as you can. It doesn’t have to be your family and friends all the time. It could be elderly at the parking lot, a single mom on the street, or volunteering to create animal shelters. There are a lot of ways to help people in your world.

Your world is transformed by your example and not your opinion. Instead of judging other people, you should reach out and help them. The one thing that you can do for someone can make a huge difference in their lives. Help people and they’ll help you.

24. Don’t Focus Too Much on Your Plans

Life teaches us lessons to prove us wrong by throwing weird obstacles in your path. You don’t have to live your life strictly according to plan.

The best part about life is there is no plan. You can spend your days creating plans only to have a random thing thrown at you. Learn to adapt and go with the flow. Be open-minded and flexible.

25. Nothing Is Permanent

In life, there’ll always be good and bad times. However, nothing lasts forever. All the horrible things that you are experiencing today will come to an end. A few years from now, you’ll be laughing at yourself.

Good things come to an end too. That’s why you need to avoid getting too wrapped up in the current happenings and cherish the good times.

Don’t be afraid if you are in the middle of a crisis. It will come to an end. Embrace the good experiences in life. And always keep in mind that everything is temporary.

26. People Change

Most of the time, we don’t give people second chances. We judge them by their actions or our assumptions. You’ll find yourself shunning people out or looking down on them. You should stop doing this.

The person you were ten years ago is not the person you are today. The same applies to other people. Don’t judge people. We all have a past. Some people have the best intention. And they want to change. Leave peoples’ past behind and avoid binging it up all the time. People need chances.

27. Family Is Not Always the Only Bond

This is one of the most important life lessons. If you stand up for what you believe in, you are going to lose some family members. You need to keep in mind that everyone has different beliefs, visions, and paths.

When you discover who you are, you’ll stop putting up with some things that you used to love or endure. Regardless of the number of people you lose, you need to stay true to your beliefs.

The right people will come into your life and they’ll become your new family. If your family rejects you for what you believe in, don’t fret. Let them go. One day, they’ll come back.

28. Don’t Hesitate When You Should Take Action

As the Roman saying goes, seize the day. In most instances, people fail to take action due to a lack of courage or confidence. This hesitation keeps them from taking a forward step.

By failing to take action, you’ll end up regretting or wishing you’d started earlier. When it’s time to take action, don’t hold back regardless of the outcome. Make up your mind and act because nothing significant ever happened by hesitation.

29. Always Keep Trying

Even when you have prepared yourself well, there’s a chance that you’ll not achieve your objective. Just like an athlete who prepares themselves for months for a single race only to fall in front of the finish line, you should never give up.

Keep on keeping on. And one day, the stars will be on your side. A good thing about life is not in never falling but in rising every time you fall. Making mistakes is part of life. To achieve your biggest goals, you have to learn from your mistakes and keep trying.

30. Flexibility With Your Goals Is Key

There will be times when you’ll take action and start using your plans only to find that you were wrong. You need to analyze where you are and what you can do to influence your future positively.

You’ll be forced to postpone or even change a specific goal to move forward. Being flexible and adapting to change is one of the best ways to win in life.

31. For Every Action, There Is a Reaction

Before you say something or take action, you should always think of the consequences. People might be unprepared for your message or fail to respond well to your gestures. That’s why you should always treat your words with caution.

Also, treat others the way you’d like to be treated. You can change your life for the better by keeping in mind that your actions always have consequences.

32. Live Your Life to the Fullest

Life goes faster than you think. Most adolescents and young adults tend to think that they’ll remain the same forever. However, years will pass quickly and you won’t be a young person.

You need to live your life to the fullest because it is short. And, you never know what tomorrow has in store for you. Every second wasted is a moment of your life wasted. Don’t let other people’s thinking control your life. This is one of the important life lessons to learn.

33. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all:

Life can change in an instant.

Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

Final Thoughts

It doesn’t matter how old you are or where you are in life. Learning is the biggest lesson in life. And it’s essential for anyone who wants to succeed in life. You need to keep growing and evolving to live your life to the fullest.

Remember, it’s your life. And you know what’s best for you. Don’t allow other people to think for you. Walk your path with courage knowing that life is on your side. Which lesson will you adopt today to transform your life?

Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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Essay on Lesson Learned In Life

Students are often asked to write an essay on Lesson Learned In Life in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Lesson Learned In Life

Mistakes are teachers.

Life is full of ups and downs. One big lesson is that making mistakes is normal. When we do something wrong, we can learn from it. Think of a time you fell off your bike. You got back up and tried again, and now you can ride without falling. Mistakes help us grow.

Sharing Brings Joy

Sharing with others makes us happy. When you give some of your lunch to a friend who forgot theirs, you feel good inside. It’s not just about things; sharing stories and time with family and friends is important too.

Patience Pays Off

Being patient is hard but worth it. If you plant a seed, it doesn’t grow into a flower overnight. You wait and take care of it, and then one day, it blooms. Patience in life helps you achieve goals and make friends.

250 Words Essay on Lesson Learned In Life

Important life lessons.

Life is like a book filled with chapters of different experiences. Each page we turn teaches us something new. One of the biggest lessons life teaches us is the value of time. Time, once gone, never comes back. It’s like water flowing from a tap. If we don’t use it wisely, it’s wasted. This teaches us to make the best use of the time we have.

Friendship and Kindness

Hard work pays off.

We also find out that hard work is the key to success. If we want to achieve something, we must put in the effort. Like planting a seed and caring for it until it grows into a tree, our goals need attention and dedication.

Learning from Mistakes

Lastly, making mistakes is part of growing up. When we do something wrong, we can learn from it. It’s like falling off a bike. We get back on and try again until we can ride smoothly. Every mistake is a step towards getting better.

In conclusion, life is the best teacher. It gives us lessons on time management, friendship, kindness, hard work, and learning from mistakes. These lessons are like tools that help us build a good future. Let’s use them well and keep learning every day.

500 Words Essay on Lesson Learned In Life

The importance of making mistakes.

Life is like a big school where every day is a chance to learn something new. One of the most important lessons we can learn is that making mistakes is okay. When we do something wrong, it might feel bad at first, but it’s actually a good thing because it helps us grow. Think of it like riding a bike. The first few times you try, you might fall off. But with each fall, you learn what not to do until finally, you’re zooming around without any trouble. Making mistakes is just like that – it teaches us how to do things better next time.

Sharing Brings Happiness

Another lesson we learn as we go through life is that sharing with others makes us happy. Have you ever shared your lunch with a friend who forgot theirs or let your sibling play with your favorite toy? It feels good, doesn’t it? That’s because when we share, we’re not just giving something away, we’re getting something too – a feeling of joy and friendship. Sharing doesn’t mean you lose; it means everyone wins.

Patience Is Key

Patience is a tough lesson to learn, but it’s a super power once you have it. It’s like when you plant a seed in the garden. You can’t just snap your fingers and expect a flower to pop up. You have to wait, give it water, and let the sun do its job. Then, one day, you see a little green sprout. Life is full of waiting for sprouts – whether it’s waiting for your turn on the swing or for your birthday to come around. Learning to wait without getting upset is a skill that will help you a lot in life.

Kindness Echoes

Being kind is like throwing a pebble into a pond. The ripples spread out far and wide. When you’re kind to someone, that person is more likely to be kind to someone else. It’s like passing on a smile. You might help someone feel better with just a kind word or a friendly wave. And the best part? Kindness often comes back to you when you least expect it.

Learning Never Ends

The last lesson is that you never stop learning, no matter how old you get. Every day, there’s something new out there. It could be a fact about space, a new word, or even a better way to tie your shoes. The world is full of wonders and mysteries waiting for you to uncover them. And the more you learn, the more you realize how much there is to discover.

Life is full of lessons, big and small. From understanding that mistakes help us learn, to realizing the joy of sharing, the power of patience, the ripple effect of kindness, and the never-ending journey of learning. These lessons shape us into who we are and who we can become. Remember, every day is a new chance to learn something that will help you live a brighter, happier life.

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3 lessons about what really matters in life, learned in the pandemic

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The last year has been like no other.

Since March 2020, every person on the planet has had their life shaken by the COVID-19 pandemic in some way. In the midst of the hardship and challenges, there’s been the sense among many people that this period has helped us evaluate our lives and focus on what’s truly important.

And maybe, just maybe, we’ve learned something from this moment.

In response to the pandemic, StoryCorps — a nonprofit dedicated to recording the largest collection of human stories and winner of the 2015 TED Prize — created StoryCorps Connect , a new tool to bring together loved ones via video conferencing and record the audio of their conversations.

Below are excerpts from a handful of the thousands of interviews recorded in recent months through StoryCorps Connect.

Lesson #1: The pandemic has helped us find deeper meaning in our work

Two mail carriers see the value in every delivery they make

Before getting a job as a mail carrier in Palm Beach, Florida, Evette Jourdain was going through a hard time — she’d lost her father, her brother and then her home. Finding reliable work helped tremendously, but then came COVID-19.

As Jourdain talked to her coworker , fellow postal worker Craig Boddie, she shared how she was feeling. “My anxiety levels are always on 10,” she says. “I pray on my way to work, I pray on my lunch break, I pray when I’m at the box. What keeps me going is just the fact that I need to keep going.”

Boddie agreed. His wife has autoimmune disease, and as he puts it, “Every day I wake up and wonder, ‘Is this the day that COVID-19 is gonna come home with me?’”

But he also knows that his work is more important than ever, and he thinks about how each package he carries contains something to keep people afloat in some way. “We’re like a lifeline — getting these people their medicines, their supplies.”

A health care provider gains inspiration from a classic novel 

Josh Belser and Sam Dow are good friends who grew up in Tampa, Florida, and who now both work in healthcare 400 miles apart — Belser as a nurse in Syracuse, New York, and Dow as a health technician in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

And with COVID-19, they’ve both found themselves on the frontlines. “My floor was one of the first that was converted to strictly dealing with COVID patients. Our jobs changed like overnight,” says Dow in their StoryCorps conversation. “There was no dress rehearsal — the numbers started to go up and it was show time.”

So how did they get through? Dow tells his friend he found some inspiration in Albert Camus’s classic novel The Plague . “It’s about an epidemic, and the main character was a doctor,” he explains. “And he says the way to get through something like this is to be a decent person. Somebody asks him, ‘What makes a decent person?’ He says, ‘I don’t know but, for me, it’s just doing my job the best way I can.’”

Dow says he’s tried to do exactly that. “Hopefully I made a difference in people’s lives.”

Lesson #2: Family rhythms have shifted, but our ties are as important as ever

A grandmother takes strength from her ancestors

Like so many other people, COVID-19 took Jackie Stockton by surprise. One day, she was at her church in Long Beach Island, New Jersey, celebrating her 90th birthday — and the next thing she knew, she was in the hospital. What’s more, she was part of a community cluster, and five members of the church eventually died from the virus, including Stockton’s best friend as well as her son-in-law.

Stockton spoke to her daughter , Alice Stockton-Rossini, about these losses. She says, “I remember 9/11 as though it just happened, but then it was over. This will never, ever be over.”

As a way to cope, she finds herself thinking of her great-grandmother. “She lost half of her children. She lived through the worst kind of hell,” she recalls. “She was an amazing woman, and so was her husband. They just did the things they needed to do. And they survived.”

The pandemic brings together a mother and daughter

In 2005, attorney Chalana McFarland of Atlanta, Georgia, was convicted of mortgage fraud and sentenced to 30 years in prison. The judge hoped this harsh sentence would deter others from similar crimes, but it had severe consequences for McFarland’s 4-year-old daughter, Nia Cosby.

In 2020, with the onset of COVID-19, McFarland was transferred to home confinement. Upon being released, the first person she saw was her now college-age daughter. In a candid conversation during their first weekend together in 15 years, Nia describes their reunion as “one of the best moments of my life.”

McFarland agrees. “When I left, you were driving a Barbie car, and now you’re flexin’ in the Honda Accord,” she says. “We’ve had a relationship over the years, but it’s like pieces of a puzzle that we’re just now putting together. I can’t wait for you to discover how much alike we really are, because you haven’t really gotten to know who I am. But I see so much of me in you. Out of all the things that I’ve done in my life, you are the absolute one thing that I got right.”

A canceled reunion highlights the power of family stories

The Quander family has a long history in the US. Its matriarch, Nancy Carter, was one of 123 enslaved people owned by George Washington, and she was freed in his will. She later married Charles Quander, and in 1926, their descendents held the first Quander family reunion.

It took place every year since 1926 — until now.

“This one would have been the 95th reunion,” Rohulamin Quander, 76, tells his 18-year-old cousin , Alicia Argrett.

In lieu of gathering in person, Argrett asks him: “What would you like to pass on to me?” His reply: “That you are the keeper of the stories.”

Argrett appreciates his call to take this responsibility seriously. “As we’ve seen this year, you never know when your last [family reunion] could be,” she says. “I think it’s important to capture those opportunities while you still have them in your grasp. And I’m going to do what I can on my end to keep the spirit of the family alive.”

Lesson #3: Small gestures have a huge impact on our well-being

This pandemic led to the best date of her life — a staircase apart

As the director of microbiology at a hospital in Rochester, New York, Roberto Vargas’s job is to diagnose infectious disease. With his lab running constant COVID-19 tests, he needed to isolate himself from his wife, Susan Vargas, and their four children.

Initially, he stayed in a hotel but found it too lonely. So he moved into the family’s basement, stipulating that no one else was to go beyond the top of the stairs. One night, as the Vargases recall in their conversation, a coworker brought them all a home-cooked meal. “You sat at the bottom of the stairs in a rocking chair, and I was at the top. It was the first time we had been able to connect in so long,” says Susan.

This simple moment, she says, helped get her through the months of the pandemic, and it will forever be what she remembers most from this time: “As crazy as it sounds, it’s the best date I’ve ever had with you in my life.”

Mother and son reflect on a special, shared memory

In 2015, nine-year-old William Chambers went to work with his mother. Not to an office, but to a senior center near Boston, Massachusetts, where Ceceley Chambers works as an interfaith chaplain providing spiritual counsel to those with memory loss. Ceceley knew the seniors would enjoy spending time with a young person.

What she didn’t expect was for William to sit down at a table with a woman cradling a baby doll she thought was real, and talk to her as easily as if she were his friend. “You just jumped into her world,” she recalls.

As Ceceley continues her work during the pandemic, both she and William have been thinking about that moment a lot. Although the structure of her days hasn’t changed, she’s seeing much more fear in those she’s counseling. William says he has been working hard to cultivate empathy for whatever mood she comes home with. Thinking of that woman with the doll and the other patients helps him.

He adds, “They made me think you should enjoy life as much as you can, ‘cause it doesn’t happen forever.”

Want to record an interview with a loved one — nearby or far away — about their experiences during the pandemic? Here’s how to get started . You can also explore more StoryCorps stories here .

Watch StoryCorps founder Dave Isay’s TED Prize Talk here:

About the author

Kate Torgovnick May is a journalist and writer based in Los Angeles. A former storyteller at TED, she has worked with the ambitious thinkers of the TED Prize and Audacious Project, helping them share their stories in video and text. She's also the author of the narrative nonfiction book, CHEER!: Inside the Secret World of College Cheerleaders, and has written for the television series NCIS and Hellcats. Read more about her work at KateTorgovnickMay.com.

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15 Powerful Lessons I’ve Learned From Life

There are so many powerful lessons we all learn from life. I personally made a list with some of the most important ones so far, lessons that had a great impact on my life.

Powerful Lessons Learned from Life

1. we get treated in life the way we teach others to treat us., 2. there are no mistakes, only powerful lessons we need to master., 3. forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself..

“Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, to be at peace, to be happy and to be able to sleep at night. You don’t forgive because you are weak but because you are strong enough to realize that only by giving up on resentment will you be happy. If you hold on to poisonous thoughts like hate, anger, and resentment toward someone, you will end up poisoning yourself more than you poison the other person, and you will be very unhappy.” ~ 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

4. What you resist, persists.

5. life is all about the journey and less about the destination., 6. people deserve a second chance..

Here’s another one of these powerful lessons learned from life:the moment you forgive somebody, chances are that you will also give them a second chance, a chance to be near you, without trying to remind them of what they did to you, treating them not as they are, or as they once were, but rather as you want them to be. By doing this, you are also allowing them to grow and to become better and better every day.

7. If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody will.

8. our attitude toward life will determine life’s attitude toward us., 9. if you love yourself, chances are that others will love you also..

It’s all about self-love, it all starts with self-love. If you don’t have the love for yourself, how can you expect to get it from somebody else? Love yourself and others will love you also.

10. The world has plenty of information but not enough inspiration.

11. the world won’t change if you don’t change..

You see, the outside world is a reflection of who we all are on the inside, and all this madness that is taking place around us, is a result of our collective consciousness, and unfortunately, it’s a very polluted consciousness.

12. Loneliness is different from solitude.

13. the more we express our gratitude, the more things we will have to be grateful for ..

The law of attraction works in all that is good and also in all that is bad, and it’s only up to us whether we choose to focus our attention on the negative or on the positive. Focus your attention on the many great things you have and you are grateful for, and you will see that the more you do that, the more reasons you will have to express your gratitude for.

14. Patience is a virtue.

15. courage is not the absence of fear..

~love, Luminita 💫

Luminita D. Saviuc

Luminita is the Founder and Editor in Chief of PurposeFairy.com and also the author of 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy: An Inspiring Guide to Discovering Effortless Joy . For more details check out the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page.

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The Power of Self-Reflection: 35 Life Lessons I Learned by 35

by Jessica | Mar 14, 2022 | Lifestyle Design , Our Journey to FI | 2 comments

In early March, I turned THIRTY-FIVE. For some reason, this feels like a big milestone. I’m no longer in my early thirties. I am squarely in my MID-THIRTIES. 

On the morning of my 35th birthday, I realized that I’ve never reflected comprehensively on the lessons that I’ve learned. I’ve reflected back on things I’ve learned on an annual basis or another short timeframe. But, I’d never looked at my whole life. 

So, I decided that I was going to write a list of 35 life lessons I learned in my 35 years on earth. I can’t wait to share them with you.

The Importance of Self-Reflection

Before I share my 35 life lessons, I want to share a little bit about why reflection is so valuable. To be clear, I did this simply because I wanted to .

Afterward, I was curious to learn why reflecting on our experiences is so valuable. Perhaps articulating the why will encourage you to do your own reflection. 

Reflection Requires us to Slow Down and Become More Self-Aware

Slowing down to take a moment of reflection can make a huge difference in your day. In fact, there was a study that showed that people who were prompted to use their commute time for reflection were happier, more productive, and less burned out.

Slowing down allows us to improve our self-awareness. When we celebrate our successes and learn from the things that didn’t go as well as we’d like, we become more self-aware. We learn who we are, what we want, and what’s important to us. Being more self-aware leads to higher levels of fulfillment in our lives.

Reflection Allows us to Connect the Dots and Facilitates a Deeper Level of Learning

If we don’t reflect on the things that we learn, we will have a much harder time incorporating these things into our daily life. Or, we might forget them entirely.

Think about a time you read a book, attended a workshop, or had a helpful conversation with a mentor. Do you remember thinking, “This is good… I need to remember this?” But, looking back, you realize that you don’t remember a single thing. 

I’ve been there too. This is why reflection is so important. 

Reflection “ gives the brain the opportunity to pause amidst the chaos, untangle and sort through observations and experiences, consider multiple possible interpretations, and make meaning. This meaning becomes learning, which can then inform future mindsets and actions.”

When we reflect on the things we learn, it allows us to put that learning into practice and take action. Without that, it’ll remain an idea that becomes fleeting and fades away. 

Once we connect the dots through reflection for ourselves, it allows us to help others. Without processing something ourselves, we can’t put it into practice. If we don’t do that, it’s unlikely that we’ll be able to articulate the important learning that could help someone else.

Reflection Encourages us to Question our Assumptions

If we don’t reflect on our experiences, it’s likely that we’ll move through life without questioning our assumptions . “ This is just the way things are,” we might think. 

Once we take time to step back and reflect on our experiences, it allows us to both identify and question the assumptions about what we believe is true.

Before I started my FI journey, I was in a dark place. I knew I was unhappy with my life, but I assumed that it wasn’t worth thinking about. After I started to step back and reflect on my life, I identified that this was an assumption and decided to question it. 

Why did I believe that it wasn’t worth thinking about?

My initial thought went something like this, “ It’s not worth thinking about because there aren’t any other options. Thinking about it will prove that to me and just make me more disappointed and miserable.”

Then, I was able to ask myself, “ But, is that actually true? Are there truly no other options?”

When I learned about financial independence, I knew that this assumption wasn’t true.

Now, I know that I can build financial freedom and use it to design a life I love long before retirement . Without reflection, I would have never realized this. 

Reflection can also help us to question the assumptions (or limiting beliefs ) we hold about ourselves.

When we think, “I could never do that,” or, “I’m not _______ enough,” reflection allows us to question those assumptions. We can ask:

• Why do I believe I could never do that?
• What if that weren’t true?
• What evidence do I have that it isn’t true?

It also allows us to start focusing on possibilities. We can ask:

• If I wanted to do that, what would it require?
• What resources (time and money) would I need?
• What skills would I need to build?
• What relationships would I need to seek out? 
• What don’t I know about this? How could I answer those questions? 

Reflection allows us to articulate what we actually believe so that our assumptions don’t hold us back. 

35 Life Lessons by 35

Reflecting on 35 life lessons that I learned by 35 was an incredibly valuable exercise. It allowed me to:

• Identify the most important things I’ve learned (even if I learned many of them the hard way).
• Articulate what I’ve learned, so that I’m more likely to remember and put it into practice in the future. 
• Question my assumptions.

For most of these life lessons, I could write an essay on what I used to believe and how that differs from what I now believe . In fact, I’ve started doing this on my Instagram . This was all a result of questioning assumptions.

Here are my 35 Life Lessons by 35:

• I am not my job. My identity is much bigger than my job title or how much money I make.
• The goal is not to escape from work. It’s to design a life I don’t want to retire from .
• It’s possible to love your work . Even so, it doesn’t have to be my whole life. 

Personal Growth

• I deserve to thrive . We all do.
• Being honest about what’s not going well is the first step to making it better.
• I get to create my own definition of success . To me, success means that I know what I value, and I have time and energy to devote to those things. 
• Enjoying the journey is more important than the outcome. If I won’t enjoy the process, maybe it’s time to find a new goal.
• I don’t need to take big scary leaps. I am not a wimp if I don’t live by the belief that “ if I leap, the net will appear.” I can build my own net. Through experimentation , I build my confidence and increase my chances of success. Then, each step forward feels like a logical next step. 
• We all have the capacity within us to do just about anything. The best question to ask is, “How could this be possible?”
• Embedding myself into a supportive community is the most important thing I can do to achieve any goal. 
• My inner critic does not have the final word.
• I am a resourceful problem-solver. I can work through any challenge that comes my way.
• It’s possible to have too much grit. 
• When I write, things stop swirling around in my head, and I get clearer about what I believe and want. 

Health and Wellness

• I want to pay attention to how I actually feel rather than how I think I should feel. 
• All of my emotions are valuable. I don’t need to run away or try to change negative emotions. They are trying to communicate something valuable to me.
• Being anxious all the time is not “normal.” There are things that can help (medication, therapy, mindfulness, and skill-building). 
• The purpose of self-care is never to adjust to oppression. It’s to get us to a place where we can address the situation or get out . 
• I want to fill myself up so much that kindness and generosity can overflow to the people around me. 
• Being healthy and pain-free is more important than having lots of money.
• Maintaining mental and physical health (and preventing issues) is way easier than recovering from issues.  
• Building financial freedom provides me with more options and more power , even though I still need to generate income. 
• Spending less money means I can work less. 
• I can spend money on things that add value to my life and feel great about it.
• Having money doesn’t make me a good or a bad person. It’s simply a tool I can use to express who I truly am.
• Investing in myself, my health, and my growth is important. I’m worth it .

Boundaries and Limits

• I can both care about what’s going on in the world and protect my peace. In fact, protecting my peace is a necessary part of caring. 
• The best self-care is subtraction. 
• Having more stuff adds more stress to my life.
• Routines and habits don’t limit my freedom. Organizing my life makes my life better, more creative, more spacious, and more fun. 
• I don’t need to be busy to feel important or valuable.
• I say “no” to the wrong things, so I have space to say “HELL YES” when the right thing comes along. 
• Each person gets to choose their unique path based on their situation and desires. It is not my job to tell them what they should do. Not is it their job to tell me what I should do.
• Clear communication is a kindness to people around you. Then, they don’t have to guess where your boundaries are.
• If someone isn’t receptive to my boundaries , they don’t deserve my time.

Building a Reflective Practice Into Your Own Life

If I had decided to sit down and write out my life lessons 5 years ago, it would have been a lot harder . At the time, I didn’t have a regular reflection practice. In fact, I didn’t really like my life at the time, but I didn’t realize there were other options. I actively ran away from reflecting on my life because I thought it would just make me more disappointed and miserable. 

I want to encourage you. There are other options. You can build a life that you don’t feel like you need to escape. You can change your external circumstances. And, you can cultivate an inner sense of joy that will help you regardless of your circumstances. 

One way to get started on both the external and internal work is to build reflective practice into your own life. 

Here are some tips and ideas if you want to start your own reflective practice.

Identify important questions you want to answer.

As part of my morning routine on a daily basis, I ask myself, “ How am I feeling today?” This is an important practice for me. My assumption is that I deserve and want to feel good. So, if I’m not feeling good, what can I do today that will help with that? This helps me pay attention to what’s going on in my life day-to-day. 

Another idea is to reflect on different areas of your life. I do this a few times each year. I reflect on what’s working and what isn’t working in my work, finances, health, relationships, growth, and fun. This allows me to reset and make changes that will help minimize things that aren’t working and do more of what is. I offer a free worksheet if you’d like to try out this reflection.

FREE WORKSHEET

You could also choose to reflect on a variety of questions:

• What would I do if I didn’t need to work for a living?
• What do I truly love to do? 
• What matters most to me? 
• If I found out that I reached FI tomorrow (through some weird turn of events), what would I change about my life? Could I start working toward these changes before FI? 
• What do I want to do every day? Every week? Every month? Every year?

There are so many different things you can reflect on. In fact, I’m currently taking a writing class that provides me with weekly writing prompts to reflect and explore a different area of my life. 

Choose a Medium for Reflection that Will Work For You

There are many different options, and I’ve done so many of these. The important thing is to do them consistently.

Options include:

• Talking with a friend or mentor
• Working with a therapist or coach

I also find that writing publicly has really helped me reflect on what I’m learning. It’s one thing to write things down in my journal. I get to a deeper level of clarity when I need to write something down in a coherent way that can be understood by someone else. 

Schedule Time

Whenever we are trying to create a new habit, it’s important to create an implementation intention . Without that, it’s likely that we’ll get to the end of our week or month and wonder, “ Why didn’t I do that?”

You’ll want to ask yourself the following questions: When will you do it? How long will you reflect for? What questions will you focus on answering?

Once you answer these questions, you can actually schedule time for yourself. When creating a new habit, it’s also important to remember that you don’t have to go zero-to-sixty right away. You don’t need to sit down and reflect for 2 hours. You can set aside 10 minutes. And then, you can set aside another 10 minutes on another day. Start small and build up from there. 

Set a Timer

Once you actually do sit down for reflection, one valuable tool at your disposal is a timer. I know that reflection is an important practice for me, but I sometimes have a lot of resistance to actually doing it. 

I immediately want to be doing almost anything else. I keep picking up my phone out of habit. Sometimes, I would rather clean my entire house than reflect.

To help me work through the resistance and keep the distractions at bay, I often will put my phone on airplane mode and set a timer. This way, when I inevitably pick up my phone at least once during the reflection time, it’ll prompt me to set it back down and go back to my reflection. 

Self-Reflection is an Important Step Toward Designing a Life You Love 

Taking time to reflect on what we actually want is incredibly important. It helps us to become more mindful of our thoughts and feelings. It allows us to understand the differences between what we think we should want and what we actually want. Similarly, it allows us to focus on how we actually feel rather than on what we think we should feel in a given situation. 

Being able to tell the difference between wants and shoulds is an important step toward building a life you truly love.

What kinds of self-reflection do you already practice? What are the biggest life lessons that you’ve learned through self-reflection?

Related posts:

• What We Learned From Our Van Life Experiment
• The Power of Accountability When Designing Your Life
• What We Learned in our Second Year of Pursuing FI
• What We Learned In Our Third Year Pursuing FI

“The goal is not to escape from work. It’s to design a life I don’t want to retire from.” These are words of wisdom right here!

If you design your life where your work are things you enjoy, you can definitely live a very very happy life (which at the end of the day is the ultimate goal we all aim for). And I think in the FIRE community – we focus so much on money that we forget that life is the thing we live, and money is just something we need to have to sustain our life. Oftentimes, we overlook the primary objective (good health and happiness) in order to optimize the means for it (money).

If you’re one of those people that like the “game of money” and can be detached from tying money to your identity, and play that for fun and doing that makes you happy, by all means go hard on the work you love and enjoy. But I think for most people, money is a means to an end, so it’s important not to maximize your income at the cost of happiness, because then you’ll always want to escape your work and life is very painful.

Love all of your lessons Jessica! And very practical suggestions. Thank you for sharing.

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19 Lessons About Teaching

By  Andrew Joseph Pegoda

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I started teaching in May 2007. Here’s what I’ve learned so far. 1. Teaching is a learning experience. Every time I teach a lesson, I learn the material in new and deeper way. I also always learn so much from my students. I learn from their own life experiences. I learn from their insights and reactions. They see aspects all the time in the sources we use that I wouldn’t have seen otherwise – and these are awesome teaching moments. I also learn about pop culture – new music, new styles, and slang – from my students. My students have taught me that everyone always has some kind of significant ongoing challenge in their life, be it directly or indirectly with a friend/family member, in terms of health, work, money, or something else. These challenges provide the window through which they see the world and greatly impact success and opportunities.   2. Understanding adult learning theory is important. Adult learning theory or andragogy (in contrast to pedagogy) recognizes that as adults, college students, both traditional and nontraditional, have different learning needs and backgrounds compared to children or adolescents. College students have life experience. This life experience makes it harder for them to learn at times because of how the brain grows physiologically. Students need to be able to connect their life to classroom lessons. They tend to want to work independently, and they have more goals that are independent of their family and friends. 3. Getting students to come to office hours is very difficult. No matter how hard we try as instructors, students don’t like coming to office hours. It may be because they are intimidated, shy, any number of reasons. I found a great way to get students quickly comfortable talking with me is to visit with them informally in the classroom before and after class. I usually try to get to class at least 10 minutes early, if not 15 or 20. I have found that by doing this, students start to come early to visit. When teaching smaller classes on small campuses, I like to have lunch with students. This makes students comfortable being around me and lets them know I truly care. As a result, when they need help or even if they just want to visit, they really will e-mail or text or even physically come to the office. Extra credit points also works wonders at getting a line of students at the door. 4. Students don’t truly and internally understand what is expected of them. Students don’t realize that college is when they reach that point when it finally really is harder and different – where the grades finally really do matter. Students, by virtue of having been in the public school system 13 or more years, have had their brains rewired where they physiologically cannot critically think about or un-learn everything they learned incorrectly without a great deal of time and effort. When teaching, we have to allow for their past educational experiences (or lack of experiences). The best way to break this barrier and to get them to actually learn is by using very different methods to deliver and assess course material. Thought-provoking movies, songs, purposely very opinionated statements, and comments critiquing things (such as textbooks or schools) they have taken for granted as always being true and "the way it is" help begin the process where students can think freely and creatively. 5. Treat students as equals. Of course, students are not our equals – we have more formal academic training and have leadership of the classroom – but we should treat hem as equals. They have their own set of unique talents and interests. Moreover, treating everyone with respect and kindness goes far in creating a successful classroom. In my history classes, for example, I tell them they are historians for the semester. 6. Teach subjects, not prerequisites. Too often I think we get distracted by teaching the "required courses." Everyone knows that 90 percent or more of students in a freshman biology or history class don’t want to be there. This translates into "dumbing down" the lessons more than necessary. In my history classes, for example, we talk about historiography (something I didn’t learn about until my last semester as a history undergraduate) from the first day of class. I want my students to have a true, deep exposure to the study of history. 7. Make full use of the CASE method. Copy And Steal Everything (CASE) for educational purposes. Don’t reinvent the wheel where you don’t need to. Especially when you’re first teaching a lesson, borrow things others have done. Also, when I do create things, I make them available to others. In my case, I probably really still tend to reinvent the wheel too much, but when I do use resources other professors have made, I always look at several similar sources and combine the best parts of each and my own take to make something new. In other cases, especially on websites with all kinds of resources that are noted as being for anyone and everyone to use, sometimes I use it as-is. As educators, under fair use laws and more recently creative commons laws, we have all kinds of cool privileges to use the best resources for our students. 8. Have everything covered in the syllabus. I tend to have a syllabus that is at least six to seven solid pages of text. Much of this is "common sense." But given the nature of colleges and universities today and the nature of students (especially the "classroom lawyers"), it is helpful to carefully articulate all expectations, rules, and any exceptions. I have a “master syllabus” on my computer that I will add things to during the semester so the syllabus will be better for the next time. A detailed syllabus can also save time and stress, as students can consult the syllabus for course information. 9. Challenge students beyond their comfort zone. I have found through various experimentation that students actually try harder, do more work, come to class prepared, and make higher grades if the course is "hard." When the assignments are too easy, students slack off and fall further and further behind. Students will rise to the challenge. They secretly want to be challenged. For example, in a student success course, students are much more likely to complete and do so with care an essay requiring two to three pages compared to a worksheet/mini-project. In a history class, instead of in-class exams, I give longer take-home exams that require more thought and time. Students perform better because they know it is going to be harder, they know I have high expectations, and they enjoy the challenge. It’s for sure something different. Always go ahead and go with what is harder: If it turns out to truly be too hard, back off a bit and offer more help and guidance. As long as the focus is on learning, everything will be fine. 10. Numerous low-stakes assignments that use all of the senses are best. Of course the number of students enrolled and the length of a semester, along with other tasks in a given semester, greatly influence the nature and number of assignments. Ideally, students should have as many opportunities to earn their grade as possible. College is about learning. Confining students' semester grade to a midterm and a final exam is not a true reflection of how much they learn and grow in a semester. Ideally, I like to have grades determined by a daily quiz (in-class), a book review or two (take-home), a midterm exam (take-home), a final exam (take-home), a semester project, and participation. Assignments are best when they are active – that is, they involve a mixture of reading, writing, speaking, listening, and moving, as they have to use their full senses. Assignments require a mixture of recall, application, and synthesis with fun and creative prompts. Using new and creative assignments every semester almost completely eliminates the opportunities for plagiarism. Finally, remembering that you don’t have to grade every assignment is important. Sometimes, I’ll pass back a quiz and say, "You got credit if you did it this time – let me know if you have questions about the content." 11. Quizzes guarantee students come on time and prepared. I first started giving quizzes because so many students were always late. These students were distracting and somewhat frustrating. I also noticed that students were not doing the assigned reading, and if they were, only passively. As soon as I started using quizzes, students started coming on time and much better-prepared. These quizzes are given only during the first 5-15 minutes of class (time depends on various factors), and the questions are not released beforehand. All students know is that it will be over current course material – questions do focus on broad information. 12. Students will not do optional. Unfortunately, most students only do what is absolutely required, if even that. We offer students extra credit or opportunities to do a revision, yet few if any will take advantage of it. And then, any who actually do more, do not need it in terms of improving their grade. Two important teaching implications result: One, I always offer to accept revisions or to review drafts early or to hold extra office hours. I used to worry that I would not have time, but so very few students take advantage of these opportunities that it always works out fine. Two, if you really want students to have a particular learning experience, make it required and an important part of the grade. 13. Let students talk and be active every chance possible. Students remember far more of what they say than what I say. Although there is some disagreement with the exact breakdown, some educational researchers have argued, using Edgar Dale’s "cone of learning" as a launching point, that students remember approximately 10 percent of what they read, 20 percent of what they hear, 30 percent of what they see, 50 percent of what they see and hear, 70 percent of what they see and write, and 90 percent of what they do. These percentages fit my experience in the classroom. My goal in the classroom is to engage all of the senses as much as possible. In one example for a history class, instead of explaining to students why Indians were treated so poorly in the colonial period, ask students to call out reasons and explain them. They will almost always cover all of the reasons we could have in a lecture and usually they will think of more. If they leave anything out, I will go over it at the end. In another example, sometimes when covering the Great Depression, I turn off most of the lights and play music from the '30s while they either make a political cartoon, skit, or something creative from the period. Then everyone shares their mini project and contextualizes it. The last 10 minutes of class, I play the closing scene from the musical Gold Diggers of 1933 where they are singing "My Forgotten Man." This style uses the full senses, and they really remember the lessons. 14. Off-topic lessons are sometimes the best. I’ve found if I lead a class correctly (except for the occasional very quiet class), it quickly takes a life of its own. Sometimes, a discussion veers off into things that are off-topic. These are O.K. occasionally, and sometimes they can be better than the regular lesson. But as I approach history as being anything and everything, including what happened a second ago, it is hard to be too off-topic in a history class. For example, this past spring semester on a day we were scheduled to discuss labor in the early 1920s I think it was, at the beginning of class a student asked me if I watched football (or something like that). I said no and explained why. One of the students said, "You do realize we have football players in here?" Then the main football player chimed in and we ended up having a really good yet brief classwide discussion about the history of football and some of the problems with the sport today. In the end, it tied back to labor, class, gender, and race – all issues relevant to the regular lesson that day. 15. Technology has many limitations. (Plus it fails mechanically.) I’m very technologically adept, but I’ve learned that less technology usually makes for better face-to-face classes. Technology always risks adding too many competing factors for students’ attention – so many that they don’t pay attention to anything. Regarding PowerPoint: It’s a tricky thing. I never did just read slides to classes, but I did use them to provide rough lecture outlines, pictures, videos, etc., on the screen. I would spend hours preparing a given presentation to make sure all the images and text boxes were perfectly aligned (the OCD side of me came out in full force!). I found that even with this limited use of PowerPoint, students took far too few notes – partly because they did not really realize that they had to actually take lots of notes and partly because listening to me and watching the slides at the same time was too hard. Now if I ever use PowerPoint, I only use it to show an image or show the spelling of a name or place. If at all possible, I provide handouts with the names and spellings. More and more often, I will have a folder for each class on my computer and manually open an image, song, or movie clip as needed to be displayed on the projector. It’s much simpler and actually has more of an impact than if it were all embedded in a PowerPoint. For the most part, I also have nothing displaying on the screen if we are having a discussion or if I am lecturing. It’s too distracting for students if something is on the screen and something else is happening at the same time. 16. Don’t waste time policing cell phones. I used to be picky: If a student had his/her cell phone out, I would dismiss him or her from class. I saw cell use in the classroom as among the ultimate taboo. Now, I’ve learned it’s much easier on everyone and creates a more productive learning environment if these students are usually ignored – except for the ones who actually answer their phone in class and try to have a conversation! Instead of "demonizing" cell phones, make them a non-issue. Additionally, I will frequently ask students to look something up on their phone using Google when a question comes up. Depending on the question, I will do this even if I know the answer because I want student to use resources available to them and to speak themselves. I also use my own cell phone as a classroom tool. I use it as a timer for the daily quiz. I also regularly have students make lists on the whiteboard or do other in-class projects. I use my phone to get pictures of these. 17. It’s O.K. to sit down. Actually, it’s a good thing. I have found that not always standing creates a free and equal environment. This is particularly useful in smaller classes and during class discussions. This one is also necessary for me because I physically cannot stand for a three-hour class. I sit on top of a table in the front of the class, as needed. Sometimes, if it is a really small class, we’ll all sit in chairs in a circle. 18. Students will disappoint, students will surprise, and grades are grades. It’s important for us to remember that since we’re teaching college students, presumably we have pretty solid academic records. We love learning and studying and did everything we could to earn an "A" on everything. Many of our students are not this way. To many of them, a grade is a grade. They don’t take the grade personally or even think about it all that much. This is not to say that there are not students who are devastated when they come to college and make their first grade ever that is below an "A." Others start the course doing really well and/or they have very good “academic skills” but don’t do well. Others of them have other priorities, some are not ready for college, some have personal events come up, and some struggle more than we realize. On the other hand, there will be a few students who will make wonderful, sincere improvement over the course of a semester. 19. I love teaching. I love teaching more than I ever dreamed I would. Teaching and working with students is extremely challenging and rewarding. I love that I have the privilege and opportunity to teach other people. I respect that this is a great charge and honor. I take the responsibility seriously and carefully pick every part of every lesson and assignment as to have the best educational impact possible. I love thinking on my feet and leading a discussion with engaged students. I truly love teaching beyond words.

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My 10 Life Experiences That Taught A Lesson

As we grow older, it’s easy to forget what we have learned. But I didn’t want to forget them, therefore here are my 10 life experiences that taught me a lesson.

After entering a decade that is seen as the beginning of “the rest of your life,” I am now officially in my 30s.

Even with that rosy picture, it still felt like something of an ending, and it’s a good time to look back. After all, I have lived for 30 years now, and I’ve had my fair share of life experiences. The fun, the dull, the exciting, the painful, and everything in-between.

If you’re looking for an easy read this isn’t it, sorry to say. However, if you’re wanting to read more of a dissertation on lessons a woman on the internet learned I suggest you grab some tea and buckle up.

So, from the heartache and heartbreak to the greatest moments of my life, here are 10 life experiences that taught a lesson that I’ve found worth remembering.

Table of Adventures

1 // Everyone won’t like you no matter how hard you try.

I always wanted to be that girl in school. The super-popular one, with the cute boyfriend and the legions of friends. I’m sure I’m not alone in that envy, but even though I did manage to make a good couple of friends in high school, I was far from the most popular person in the building.

So what went wrong?

Honestly… nothing. Nothing inside of my control anyway.

Being popular was sort of a big deal to me at the time, because when I was even younger, a lot of kids made fun of me because of my dry skin. In elementary school, you don’t really understand complexion and why to use lotion, and it wasn’t until I entered high school that I actually figured that out.

By that point, though, I was already pretty shy and I had trouble expressing myself. I felt like I looked like a bumbling idiot a lot, not because I didn’t know what I wanted to say, but because every time I opened my mouth, I would say it wrong.

I’d be lying if I said I was completely over that.

But anyway, when I was 12, we moved out of New York City to Connecticut. It was only a 40-minute move, and we were still in a small city-slash-large town, but, to me, it felt like a chance for a fresh start. I wanted to be popular there, and then everything would fall into place, right?

I never became that person. Not even close.

I was friendly and met everyone. I baked cookies, said hi in the halls, and hung out with people whenever I was allowed to. But the fact is, a lot of people already had their own friend groups. I sort of carved mine out, but I didn’t magically turn into Blair Waldorf. Other girls were richer, dressed better, were part of sports teams, and so on.

The realization that it was all okay hit me right at the tail end of high school. Up until that point, this perceived competition really stressed me out, but when it finally hit me that I was going to college and that all this was going to be behind me, I realized how much energy I had wasted vying for affection from people who didn’t owe it to me.

I had great friends in high school. I also had a couple of people who weren’t my biggest fans, due to some drama or another. I had teachers that loved me, some that didn’t seem to care for me, and a whole lot of people who were somewhere in the middle. 

That’s how life is sometimes, and if you obsess about getting everyone to like you, you’re going to spend a whole lot of emotional energy and get very little from most people in return.

And you know what? I’m a hysterical, goofy person, and some people don’t like goofy. Some people don’t like my personality and that’s alright.

The way I see it now, those people then miss out on getting to know me, and that’s okay.

2 // You are truly beautiful as you are.

I also don’t think I’m alone in this struggle either, but for a long time, I struggled with how I perceived my weight. I really thought I was fat all throughout high school and into college. I have naturally large legs; muscular calves and thick thighs. Out here saving those lives, you know?

But they aren’t really defined, since I don’t run a lot. So, in high school, this just made me think “fat.” This is the narrative I repeated to myself over and over and over again. 

While I love my mom, she didn’t exactly help – teenage girls are pretty sensitive people, and when you say something like “well, you’ll slim down when you get taller,” we hear “you’re fat now, but it’ll get better when you grow.”

But then I never grew! So I just thought my mom thought I was fat!

There isn’t a specific point that I suddenly realized I was being ridiculous; putting on a little extra weight after college actually helped, because when I looked back at my pictures and saw that I was actually kind of a babe. I also spoke with my mom about this whole thing, and that was a pretty good way of putting these feelings to rest.

Even if the person can’t wave a magic wand and fix the issue, airing out things can help release a lot of pent-up emotions, so that way you can move on. It helps.

One thing I want to add is that there were two parts to this process… it’s one thing to say “wow, I was being ridiculous criticizing my weight back then, look at me now.” After that, you have to realize that you’re still being ridiculous.

Read this again and again if you struggle with this as I did: you are being ridiculous right now by being hypercritical of your weight.

I am never going to have a thigh gap. I’m never going to be built like Gwyneth Paltrow. I’m built like me. The truth is pretty simple: I’m beautiful as I am. You’re beautiful as you are.

Refusing to accept that can create havoc in your mind and in your body. It is a battle that is far from unique to me and I’m not trying to put this post out there as a simple solution to a complicated problem, but it is a lesson I learned. 

Corny as it is, loving yourself as you are is a great way to reject all the stress that the world will try to place on your shoulders.

Besides, everything is temporary. Skinny people gain weight. Heavier people lose it. We’ve all got a finite number of days on this planet, and you can spend them however you want. You wanna drop a couple of pounds? Go for it! 

Just don’t let that desire speak to you from a place of self-loathing, because life is too short for that. You’re gorgeous… just recognize it.

3 // You don’t owe anyone forgiveness.

People tell you forgiveness is a virtue and sometimes it is. Holding onto anger and resentment isn’t healthy and there’s a lot of wisdom in the old advice “don’t sweat the small stuff.”

But there are always exceptions to rules, and forgiveness is also a personal thing. There’s a difference between coming to peace with the past and absolving someone of their role in it. 

When I think about this lesson, there are two main points in my life I immediately jump to. The first is when I was assaulted in middle school and no one did anything to help. The second has to do with my stepfather.

In middle school, I ended up in some stupid fight about something I don’t even remember. On the other side of the argument was one of the more popular boys in my class, and he picked on me incessantly. In the middle of the fight, he hauls off and starts grabbing at me, choking me. 

I eventually pushed him off me, or maybe he stopped on his own, but as I looked around and saw a bunch of our classmates there, I realized that no one helped. No teachers came to my aid, no students spoke up, and, to my knowledge, he wasn’t even punished.

I know kids can do stupid things. I know he was as young as I was. And I know that all those bystanders who could have intervened were our age as well. But at that age, I knew not to physically assault someone, so why didn’t he? 

The fact is, he attacked me and they all did nothing, and when I think back on that day, neither of those actions was okay.

Different topic, but similar moral: my stepdad has never been much of a ‘dad’ to me. He spent no time with my brother or me during our childhood, he was emotionally abusive to my mother and a rather physical disciplinarian with us. 

He ran his relationship with my mother into the ground by keeping his priorities on anything and everything else besides our family but refused to sign divorce papers until only recently. And in spite of his claims to want to make the marriage work, he was unfaithful, and he didn’t do any of the work required to make those words mean anything.

That one is still a bit sore for me if you noticed, but the fact is, these are the facts of my life. I can’t change them. And I can only, in a lot of ways, come to peace with the fact that these things have happened. 

But don’t buy into that feel-good gaslighting that in order to move on you need to forgive everyone who has wronged you. You don’t. You can, quite simply, move on.

See, for a lot of people, forgiveness involves gaining a sense of absolution. You’re saying that the past can stay in the past and that we’re going to ‘move on’ from it. 

In the case of my stepdad, however, I don’t want to move on with him in my life. I don’t view it as healthy to pretend what he did to me was okay. I can accept that it happened and I can examine my own feelings of anger, resentment, whatever it is that I’m working through. 

But having this allegedly cathartic moment where I tell him that what he did was okay so that he can feel better about his mistakes, and that mitigating his guilt over the past is somehow going to unchain me from it… I don’t buy it.

I work on myself and try to meditate and so on. He can do the same. He can find a balance that allows him to look at what he’s done and accept where it’s gotten him.

And so that’s the lesson I learned. Acceptance is alright. Moving on is necessary. But forgiveness is entirely optional, and it should only be given on your terms, not on the other person’s. 

Don’t guilt yourself into forgiving people who you don’t feel deserve it.

4 // You may have hurt someone badly, even if you didn’t think you did. Sincerely apologize and understand that those people don’t need to accept it, forgive you, or talk to you ever again.

I have hurt a lot of people in my life.

Sometimes my intentions were good but were not construed well. Sometimes I went about a particular problem in the wrong way and I ruined relationships that I had no intention of ruining.

One time over one summer that I worked as a camp counselor I had a friend text a boy I had really liked (I really have no idea why I did this, sigh) that I was breaking it off with him. He basically never spoke to me ever again even though I had tried everything – sending messages, texting, calling, sending smoke signals. 

My hope was that I could tell him I was sorry, but he wasn’t interested in hearing from me.

Eventually, I even ran into him in person, completely by accident. I remember he was cordial, but the encounter was so short that I didn’t really have the opportunity to apologize. 

I also remember the visceral reaction I had upon seeing him and how it made me realize I still regretted how I had hurt him. At the end of the day, he had shut the door on my chance to apologize and, out of respect for him, it was his choice whether to reopen it or not. And he didn’t, so that’s something I have to accept.

5 // Take responsibility for your actions.

When you make a mistake, you need to own up to it.

I hadn’t intended to hurt their feelings, but that’s what had happened. So I remember talking to my supervisor and the question came up: “what are you going to do about it?”

In that case, I sat down with the kid and apologized. And I got to know them better and managed to change the negative experience into a lesson learned for both of us. The child learned that it was okay to say something when someone hurts your feelings, and I learned that what one person finds harmless can really upset someone else.

The stakes only get higher as you get older, so I’m thankful that I learned at a relatively young age that the best thing you can do when you make a mistake is own it, then try your best to fix it.

6 // Speak up when someone has hurt you, overstepped boundaries, or makes you feel uncomfortable.

This is a lesson we’re usually told as youngsters, but it bears repeating over and over. In a way, I learned it from that child I mentioned in the last passage, but it also took me several more years until it clicked that the same lesson applied to me.

Hint: the same lesson probably applies to you and your situation, too.

Some people do not take boundaries well, but at the end of the day, there’s nothing worse than having someone walk all over you. You can’t be a “yes man” for your whole life, nor can you just go along with everything. Even if you’re normally pretty easy-going, it is okay to have boundaries.

When someone hurts you – speak up for yourself! When someone oversteps their boundaries let them know. If you’ve never brought it up before, this can be how you tell them what you expect from them, and if you have spoken to them about it, this can be your way of reminding them that your boundaries aren’t optional.

Either the person will take it well or they won’t. That isn’t within your control. But if they are understanding, your relationship will get stronger, and if they aren’t receptive… at least you have a clear understanding of how much they respect you (or don’t, frankly).

7 // Find people you can trust completely, then seek help from them when you need it.

There will be times where you are in trouble. And times when you just need someone to talk to. These aren’t things to be ashamed of, these are facts of life. 

Personally. Professionally. In all things. Integrity and honesty are not traits you can fake, and you will earn more respect from your peers (and yourself) if you are humble enough to admit your mistakes and responsible enough to work to fix them. 

If you’re the one taking point on correcting a mistake, you’re also going to catch less flak for it, and you’re going to show everyone around you that you can take criticism and that you’re willing to learn.

The experience that taught me this was working for an after-school program when I was a teenager. I had joked around with a lot of the children and one child had a softer shell than the rest of them and ended up very upset. 

And speaking of ‘life,’ the truth is we all have several ‘lives’: our financial life, our professional life, our love life, our emotional and mental health… Being an adult is all about multitasking all these very different functions, but the fact is very few people are good at all of these things.

So here’s where self-awareness comes into play. Are you great at some of these areas, but lacking in others? That’s okay, it’s actually normal. Think about all the successful people who have a mid-life crisis because they ignored all their stress and emotions for 20 years, focusing entirely on their financial and professional well-being.

You wouldn’t expect a business tycoon to be an expert in dating, and you wouldn’t necessarily take stock tips from Shaq, so why are you suddenly expecting yourself to be a rockstar in all these different fields?

So find someone you can trust and talk to them about what you feel you’re lacking. Sometimes all it comes down to is confidence, but other times you can learn something by leaning on someone else’s expertise. 

At the very least you end up getting some stress off your chest, so you don’t end up bottling up your anxieties until they start seeping out in other ways.

I have a bad relationship with money, for example. I get anxiety where I’ll have trouble sleeping and my chest feels tight when I talk about it, and when I was going to school in Virginia, it really got bad. I was working part-time, but relying on my stepdad to help support me (broke college student and he literally told me he would), but when it came down to actually providing said support, the money was nowhere.

I was getting mostly As and Bs, so it wasn’t the grades he objected to, instead he flat-out denied that he had ever agreed to help.

Regardless of how much of a keeper (sarcasm!) he was, the fact is that I was in the situation I was in. And it caused me so much anxiety that it started seeping into other aspects of my life. 

It became harder to study because I was tired, and I was tired because I was having trouble sleeping, and then I tried to stop looking at the mail because the bills kept piling up and if I thought about it I would get distracted, but then I got hit with late fees, and it’s all a vicious cycle.

I only got out of that predicament by asking for help. I talked to my mother. I talked to my boyfriend. I talked to my aunt. I figured out what I could do to repay them later. And the fact is: they wanted to help, once they realized I needed it. They were more than happy to step up, but they didn’t know I needed help.

Typically what happens when we feel overwhelmed with something we aren’t very good at, we avoid it. We don’t express what we’re going through, because talking about it necessitates thinking about it. And yet, when you do talk to someone about it, you always feel so relieved, like a weight is off your shoulders.

Lean into that feeling. Avoiding uncomfortable subjects can be tempting and you don’t need to spend every day embroiling yourself in your anxieties, but it can also be a trap. 

If you find someone you can rely upon for honest advice, you can get a lot farther by trusting them to help you fix the issues, instead of just ignoring them and hoping they never explode.

8 // It’s OK to restrict access to specific places in your life to specific people.

Remember I said that not everyone is worthy of your forgiveness? Not everyone is worthy of your time, either.

I don’t say that to be stuck-up or judgmental, either. I don’t mean “the poor” or “people less popular than you.” I mean people who make your life worse. You only have so much time in a day, week, month, and year. How much of that limited time are you going to dedicate to someone who negatively impacts your life?

For example, there’s my “dad.” Less than a father, he’s simply the guy who married my mother. He’s a net negative for my life. Think Hiram Lodge from Riverdale, but not a mobster… or successful.

I’m not trying to come off jaded or harp on him unnecessarily. I’m not going to rehash all the ways he’s wronged me, or repeat things from earlier in the post. I only reiterate this here to say: this is my situation with someone I view as a negative influence in my life, who I have cut out of it.

This view of mine might be somewhat generational. I know older people I talk to tend to push back a little more when it comes to respect for one’s parents, but my question to the audience now is “how far does that go?”

I ask myself the question: “What, if anything, do I owe this man who did provide some of the financial support for my upbringing, but has also repeatedly let me down, lied, cheated, mentally abused me, my brother, and my mother; the whole nine yards? What do I owe him?”

Some people would say, “Everything, he’s your father, you should respect him for the rest of your life.” I say no. Respect is earned, even towards your parents. 

Parents get respect because they love and they care for their children, and if they don’t, their children shouldn’t be shackled to notions that they are somehow supposed to dote upon their abusive elders for the rest of their lives.

That’s not healthy. It’s… well it’s a lot of things, but it isn’t healthy.

Asking these questions. Drawing a line for yourself – setting boundaries for yourself – and enforcing them. That is healthy.

I finally got this from my mother, who decided that enough is enough. She’s divorcing him, after decades of putting up with his crap. And in talking with her about her anxieties, her resentments, and her uncertainties about the future, I realized that I echoed a few of them.

It is very easy to remain comfortable. You know what they say about “a body in motion remains in motion?” The other half of the quote is, “a body that’s napping, remains napping.” Or something like that.

Even if the behavior is not healthy or helpful, we can be tempted to stick with it because it’s familiar. And even if the person is toxic as tar, we will put up with them because of this fear of… seclusion, maybe? Loneliness? A lack of other options staring you in the face?

Since the post is about me and I don’t want to just guess at my mother’s true feelings about a super complicated issue, let me say that the struggle for me is that I have this toxic man, this miserable person, on one hand, and, on the other, I have the fact that I want to love my dad. I want to have a father I can respect and love. 

Who wouldn’t want a father figure in their life? So I have this mental abuser standing over there, who I allow into my life because I am afraid that without him I will feel lacking. I won’t have that sense of a “dad” that I can lean on when times get tough.

But here’s the kicker: I could never rely on him anyway. This idea of a father figure is one that I am going to be lacking, whether or not my stepfather is in my life or not. Whether or not I allow him to continue this endless cycle of disappointing me. 

So, at the end of the day, cutting out this man is less about rejecting that role that a father is supposed to play in someone’s life, and more about saying “you are not a positive influence in my life and I am done pretending otherwise.”

When all is said and done, you don’t have unlimited time to spend on everyone. Sometimes you even have to limit the time you spend with friends, bosses, co-workers, etc. This becomes tougher when it comes to family because there’s a lot of pressure to put family first.

My lesson for the day, the TLDR version anyway, is that blood isn’t thicker than water when it comes to how someone treats you. If your family doesn’t respect you, love you, and make you stronger, then the logical conclusion is to limit how much time and energy you allow for them.

That doesn’t have to be an absolute cutting-off, but it could be. The only one who can really decide what is appropriate is you. If you have a family member that invalidates you, hurts you, or generally makes your life worse, you are allowed to cut that person off .

Your sanity is worth so much more than empty quotes about family from people who use them as weapons.

9 // If your work life is trash, find something better, try to up your education game or quit if you can.

I remember working for a law firm, and as someone who is very lively and happy, that place sucked the life out of me.

I had a co-worker who abruptly quit and I was thrust into handling the office all by myself for practically two months before a replacement was found. I’d already put in vacation time from months prior before this occurred, too, and I wasn’t giving them up for anyone.

I was uncomfortable in wanting to say no to attorneys who needed work done that I just couldn’t get to when they wanted and they overstepped boundaries that I otherwise wouldn’t have let people in my personal life get away with.

So why did I let it go on? Because I felt like I had no other option.

Well, they ended up hiring someone to take my place even though I had streamlined processes and worked my absolute butt off for them. They hired someone to take my place even though I rearranged my days off, and stayed late if I needed to. 

All those times I remembered how certain clients liked their coffee so that my lawyers could have that little extra touch of sincerity to start their meetings? They still hired someone to take my place.

To them, it was a business decision and nothing more. But what that implies is that your feelings of loyalty to your employer aren’t necessarily misguided… but they might be. 

Women especially are pressured to care so much about our families, so much about our jobs, to always go the extra mile, but if that never translates into reciprocated loyalty, why should we?

I was in a privileged place when I left that law firm and I could try to finish my education. I know that there are a lot of people who simply don’t have the means to do so, and that’s OK. 

But if you are in a place in life where you can find something better, do it. If you are comfortable and that’s why you put up with the bullshit… update your resume. 

Poke your head up out of the sand and just make sure you’re still on the right beach.

Because employers are going to pay you as little as they can get away with, not as much as you are worth. They are not going to pay you what your loyalty warrants, either. They are not going to give you extra vacation days or pay for your health care deductible if a medical emergency comes up. 

I mean… if you find yourself working for the exception, forget this whole section, they deserve your loyalty. But for the vast majority, if you had a crisis in your life and you couldn’t work, they would simply replace you.

So if you’re not happy, consider replacing them. Stop settling for mediocrity.

P.S. If you’re looking for a way to learn information in order to leave your awful space try Coursera (it’s where I’m taking my Project Management course!)

10 // The longer you procrastinate to start something, the more overwhelmed you’ll feel. So be like Shia LaBeouf, and just do it.

I am the Queen of Procrastination.

I have had many ideas for YouTube channels that I had 10 years ago, thought about doing over and over again, and never did them. And then a channel comes out with the idea that I had and starts making millions. Of course, I then feel like a sourpuss because I’m terrified of starting something that I think won’t do well.

But, I tend to have good ideas. I suck at execution.

Even if you don’t have any good ideas, or you’re scared of the outcome, do it anyway. Bite the bullet and just do it.

I’ll use this blog, Lemonade + Adventure, as an example. I had wanted to start blogging over a year ago but didn’t think about it seriously until we were in the middle of the Pandemic of 2020. It wasn’t until I was laid off and needing something to do that I seriously looked into what I can do to support myself as a business owner. I chose to blog as one venture.

In terms of blogging as a business, if I had started earlier, I’d be much farther along already. But on the other hand, I can already see this starting to come together. 

Whether, in 10 years’ time, I’m doing this or life leads me down a different path, I can’t say for certain right now. But I’ve got lessons that I’ve got to learn. And I know that I learn by doing.

So if you are like me, then stop overthinking and start doing.

Life Experiences That Taught A Lesson Conclusion

We all have life experiences that we can siphon a lesson or two from. You have lessons that you can learn from, too. I’d love to hear your stories of experiences you’ve learned from and the lessons you gleaned.

P.S. I was super sick when I wrote this so I’m surprised I got this all off my chest. Yay me, I guess? 😛

Related Article: 60+ Unique & Thoughtful Ways to Take Care of Yourself For Women In Their 20s

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