how to support your child with homework

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Strategies to make homework go more smoothly.

Routines and incentive systems to help kids succeed

Writer: Peg Dawson, EdD, NCSP

Clinical Experts: Peg Dawson, EdD, NCSP , Karol Espejo, LCSW

Here is the best guide to helping kids do homework successfully that we’ve seen, published by the National Association of School Psychologists on their website, NASPonline.org . Our thanks to NASP for sharing it with us.

There are two key strategies parents can draw on to reduce homework hassles. The first is to establish clear routines around homework, including when and where homework gets done and setting up daily schedules for homework. The second is to build in rewards or incentives to use with children for whom “good grades” is not a sufficient reward for doing homework.

Homework Routines

Tasks are easiest to accomplish when tied to specific routines. By establishing daily routines for homework completion, you will not only make homework go more smoothly, but you will also be fostering a sense of order your child can apply to later life, including college and work.

Step 1. Find a location in the house where homework will be done. The right location will depend on your child and the culture of your family. Some children do best at a desk in their bedroom. It is a quiet location, away from the hubbub of family noise. Other children become too distracted by the things they keep in their bedroom and do better at a place removed from those distractions, like the dining room table. Some children need to work by themselves. Others need to have parents nearby to help keep them on task and to answer questions when problems arise. Ask your child where the best place is to work. Both you and your child need to discuss pros and cons of different settings to arrive at a mutually agreed upon location.

Step 2. Set up a homework center. Once you and your child have identified a location, fix it up as a home office/homework center. Make sure there is a clear workspace large enough to set out all the materials necessary for completing assignments. Outfit the homework center with the kinds of supplies your child is most likely to need, such as pencils, pens, colored markers, rulers, scissors, a dictionary and thesaurus, graph paper, construction paper, glue and cellophane tape, lined paper, a calculator, spell checker, and, depending on the age and needs of your child, a computer or laptop. If the homework center is a place that will be used for other things (such as the dining room table), then your child can keep the supplies in a portable crate or bin. If possible, the homework center should include a bulletin board that can hold a monthly calendar on which your child can keep track of longterm assignments. Allowing children some leeway in decorating the homework center can help them feel at home there, but you should be careful that it does not become too cluttered with distracting materials.

Step 3. Establish a homework time. Your child should get in the habit of doing homework at the same time every day. The time may vary depending on the individual child. Some children need a break right after school to get some exercise and have a snack. Others need to start homework while they are still in a school mode (i.e., right after school when there is still some momentum left from getting through the day). In general, it may be best to get homework done either before dinner or as early in the evening as the child can tolerate. The later it gets, the more tired the child becomes and the more slowly the homework gets done.

Step 4. Establish a daily homework schedule. In general, at least into middle school, the homework session should begin with your sitting down with your child and drawing up a homework schedule. You should review all the assignments and make sure your child understands them and has all the necessary materials. Ask your child to estimate how long it will take to complete each assignment. Then ask when each assignment will get started. If your child needs help with any assignment , then this should be determined at the beginning so that the start times can take into account parent availability. A Daily Homework Planner is included at the end of this handout and contains a place for identifying when breaks may be taken and what rewards may be earned.

Incentive Systems

Many children who are not motivated by the enjoyment of doing homework are motivated by the high grade they hope to earn as a result of doing a quality job. Thus, the grade is an incentive, motivating the child to do homework with care and in a timely manner. For children who are not motivated by grades, parents will need to look for other rewards to help them get through their nightly chores. Incentive systems fall into two categories: simple and elaborate.

Simple incentive systems. The simplest incentive system is reminding the child of a fun activity to do when homework is done. It may be a favorite television show, a chance to spend some time with a video or computer game, talking on the telephone or instant messaging, or playing a game with a parent. This system of withholding fun things until the drudgery is over is sometimes called Grandma’s Law because grandmothers often use it quite effectively (“First take out the trash, then you can have chocolate chip cookies.”). Having something to look forward to can be a powerful incentive to get the hard work done. When parents remind children of this as they sit down at their desks they may be able to spark the engine that drives the child to stick with the work until it is done.

Elaborate incentive systems. These involve more planning and more work on the part of parents but in some cases are necessary to address more significant homework problems. More complex incentives systems might include a structure for earning points that could be used to “purchase” privileges or rewards or a system that provides greater reward for accomplishing more difficult homework tasks. These systems work best when parents and children together develop them. Giving children input gives them a sense of control and ownership, making the system more likely to succeed. We have found that children are generally realistic in setting goals and deciding on rewards and penalties when they are involved in the decision-making process.

Building in breaks. These are good for the child who cannot quite make it to the end without a small reward en route. When creating the daily homework schedule, it may be useful with these children to identify when they will take their breaks. Some children prefer to take breaks at specific time intervals (every 15 minutes), while others do better when the breaks occur after they finish an activity. If you use this approach, you should discuss with your child how long the breaks will last and what will be done during the breaks (get a snack, call a friend, play one level on a video game). The Daily Homework Planner includes sections where breaks and end-of-homework rewards can be identified.

Building in choice. This can be an effective strategy for parents to use with children who resist homework. Choice can be incorporated into both the order in which the child agrees to complete assignments and the schedule they will follow to get the work done. Building in choice not only helps motivate children but can also reduce power struggles between parents and children.

Developing Incentive Systems

Step 1. Describe the problem behaviors. Parents and children decide which behaviors are causing problems at homework time. For some children putting homework off to the last minute is the problem; for others, it is forgetting materials or neglecting to write down assignments. Still others rush through their work and make careless mistakes, while others dawdle over assignments, taking hours to complete what should take only a few minutes. It is important to be as specific as possible when describing the problem behaviors. The problem behavior should be described as behaviors that can be seen or heard; for instance, complains about h omework or rushes through homework, making many mistakes are better descriptors than has a bad attitude or is lazy.

Step 2. Set a goal. Usually the goal relates directly to the problem behavior. For instance, if not writing down assignments is the problem, the goal might be: “Joe will write down his assignments in his assignment book for every class.”

Step 3. Decide on possible rewards and penalties. Homework incentive systems work best when children have a menu of rewards to choose from, since no single reward will be attractive for long. We recommend a point system in which points can be earned for the goal behaviors and traded in for the reward the child wants to earn. The bigger the reward, the more points the child will need to earn it. The menu should include both larger, more expensive rewards that may take a week or a month to earn and smaller, inexpensive rewards that can be earned daily. It may also be necessary to build penalties into the system. This is usually the loss of a privilege (such as the chance to watch a favorite TV show or the chance to talk on the telephone to a friend).

Once the system is up and running, and if you find your child is earning more penalties than rewards, then the program needs to be revised so that your child can be more successful. Usually when this kind of system fails, we think of it as a design failure rather than the failure of the child to respond to rewards. It may be a good idea if you are having difficulty designing a system that works to consult a specialist, such as a school psychologist or counselor, for assistance.

Step 4. Write a homework contract. The contract should say exactly what the child agrees to do and exactly what the parents’ roles and responsibilities will be. When the contract is in place, it should reduce some of the tension parents and kids often experience around homework. For instance, if part of the contract is that the child will earn a point for not complaining about homework, then if the child does complain, this should not be cause for a battle between parent and child: the child simply does not earn that point. Parents should also be sure to praise their children for following the contract. It will be important for parents to agree to a contract they can live with; that is, avoiding penalties they are either unable or unwilling to impose (e.g., if both parents work and are not at home, they cannot monitor whether a child is beginning homework right after school, so an alternative contract may need to be written).

We have found that it is a rare incentive system that works the first time. Parents should expect to try it out and redesign it to work the kinks out. Eventually, once the child is used to doing the behaviors specified in the contract, the contract can be rewritten to work on another problem behavior. Your child over time may be willing to drop the use of an incentive system altogether. This is often a long-term goal, however, and you should be ready to write a new contract if your child slips back to bad habits once a system is dropped.

Click here to download the homework planner and incentive sheet .

Frequently Asked Questions

To help homework go more smoothly, e stablish a routine that includes a time and place where it will be done, a planner that lists each assignment, scheduled breaks when some of the work is done, and a reward system for kids who are not motivated by good grades alone.  

Set a good homework routine following these steps: Find a location in the house where homework will be done. Set up a homework center stocked with needed materials . Establish a homework time. Use a daily homework planner so that your child has everything in writing.  

One tool that can make homework go more smoothly i s a Daily Homework Planner , which lists each assignment, how long it should take to complete, and what rewards may be earned for completing each assignment.    

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How to Help Kids With Homework

Helping your child with their homework is an opportunity to connect with them and improve their chances of academic success. As a parent, you can reinforce concepts taught in the classroom and nurture good study habits . Helping with homework shows your child that you believe their education is important.

What Is the Best Way I Can Help My Child With Homework?

You don’t need to be a certified teacher or an expert in a subject in order to help with homework. You can help by developing your child's time management skills, introducing strategies to stay organized, and offering words of encouragement. 

Here are some homework tips for parents:

• Know their teacher . Attending parent-teacher conferences, getting involved in school events, and knowing how to get in touch with your child’s teacher can help you better understand homework expectations.
• Family study time.  Set aside time every day for homework. Some kids do best by jumping into homework right after school, while others need a break and will be better focused after dinner. 
• Set a good example. Family study time gives you the opportunity to model studious behavior. Demonstrate the importance of organization and diligence by paying bills or planning your family’s budget during this shared time. Reading while your child completes their homework instills the idea that learning is a lifelong and enjoyable pursuit. Your example will be far more impactful than your lectures.
• Designate a homework space.  Having a designated space for homework can help your child stay on task. It should be well lit and have extra school supplies within reach.
• Help with time management.  If your student has a lot of homework, encourage them to break the workload into smaller and more manageable tasks. Create a schedule for the evening to ensure they get through their long to-do list , including opportunities for breaks.
• Don’t do the homework for them.  Helping your child with homework isn’t the same as doing your child’s homework. You can make suggestions, but your child must do the work for meaningful learning to take place. Have patience, allow them to struggle a little, and resist the urge to simply give them the answers.

How Do I Help a Child Struggling With Homework?

Struggling through challenges is an important part of learning. Research shows that something called “productive struggle” is essential to learning new concepts. Too much struggle, however, can be demoralizing and counterproductive. So where's the line drawn between productive struggling and counterproductive struggling? You know your child better than anyone, so trust your instincts and step in before your student becomes overwhelmed.  

Consider these tips if your child's struggling with homework:

• If your child's already stressed out or frustrated, start with taking a break.
• Engage your child in a conversation so you can understand where they're stuck 
• Offer hints or guidance to help them move forward
• Resist the urge to do their homework or give them the answers
• As soon as your child understands how to resolve the issue, step back and let them continue without your direct assistance
• Avoid stressful cramming and last-minute panic by helping your student plan ahead for tests and long-term assignments.
• Offer your child encouragement and praise them for their perseverance.
• Work on your own paperwork or read nearby as your child completes their homework to help them stay on task.
• Reach out to the teacher if additional assistance is needed and remind your child to ask questions at school when they're confused

Should I Help My Child With Math Homework?

Math is taught differently now than it was twenty or thirty years ago. The Common Core Standards are used in 41 states, and most other states follow the same principles even if they don’t call them the Common Core. Instead of memorizing specific ways to solve math problems, students today are asked to solve problems in several different ways and explain the strategy they used. 

For many parents, their child’s math homework seems complicated and confusing. The goal of this newer method, however, is a deeper understanding of mathematics. Just because you learned math in a different way doesn’t mean you can’t help with math homework. 

• Focus on non-academic help . You can help your student by offering encouragement, tracking assignments, and helping with time management. Create a distraction-free time and place for them to focus on their math homework. 
• Learn how it’s taught. Understand how math is taught at your child’s school. Some school districts offer parents a math night or online resources to help them better understand the way math is taught at schools.
• Reach out to the teacher. Ask the teacher for insight on how you can support your student at home. They might point you towards resources that align with their curriculum or offer additional help to your student at school.

At What Age Do You Stop Helping With Homework?

Some research has shown that the connection between student achievement and parental involvement in schoolwork is strongest in the elementary years but declines in middle school. By the time your child enters middle school, parents helping with homework can do more harm than good. At this stage, parental help with homework is associated with lower student achievement.

While you should be helping a lot less with homework, middle school isn't the time to retreat from your child's education. Non-homework forms of parent involvement are strongly associated with higher academic achievement. There are many ways you can support your middle schooler’s success. 

• Monitor assignments and test scores
• Attend school events
• Participate in parent-teacher conferences
• Ask questions about classes and what your child is learning
• Continue to encourage a regular study time and place at home

Ideally, you laid the groundwork in the elementary years and good study habits are well established by middle school. While your child will outgrow the need for your direct homework assistance, they'll never outgrow the need for your support and encouragement. 

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How to help your kids with homework (without doing it for them)

Lecturer in the Faculty of Education, Monash University

Lecturer, Monash University

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The authors do not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and have disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

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Parents are a child’s first and most important teachers . Parent involvement in their child’s learning can help improve how well they do in school. However, when it comes to helping kids with homework, it’s not so simple.

While it’s important to show support and model learning behaviour, there is a limit to how much help you can give without robbing your child of the opportunity to learn for themselves.

Be involved and interested

An analysis of more than 400 research studies found parent involvement, both at school and at home, could improve students’ academic achievement, engagement and motivation.

School involvement includes parents participating in events such as parent-teacher conferences and volunteering in the classroom. Home involvement includes parents talking with children about school, providing encouragement, creating stimulating environments for learning and finally – helping them with homework.

Read more: What to do at home so your kids do well at school

The paper found overall, it was consistently beneficial for parents to be involved in their child’s education, regardless of the child’s age or socioeconomic status. However, this same analysis also suggested parents should be cautious with how they approach helping with homework.

Parents helping kids with homework was linked to higher levels of motivation and engagement, but lower levels of academic achievement. This suggests too much help may take away from the child’s responsibility for their own learning.

Help them take responsibility

Most children don’t like homework. Many parents agonise over helping their children with homework. Not surprisingly, this creates a negative emotional atmosphere that often results in questioning the value of homework.

Homework has often been linked to student achievement, promoting the idea children who complete it will do better in school. The most comprehensive analysis on homework and achievement to date suggests it can influence academic achievement (like test scores), particularly for children in years seven to 12.

But more research is needed to find out about how much homework is appropriate for particular ages and what types are best to maximise home learning.

Read more: Too much help with homework can hinder your child's learning progress

When it comes to parent involvement, research suggests parents should help their child see their homework as an opportunity to learn rather than perform. For example, if a child needs to create a poster, it is more valuable the child notes the skills they develop while creating the poster rather than making the best looking poster in the class.

Instead of ensuring their child completes their homework, it’s more effective for parents to support their child to increase confidence in completing homework tasks on their own.

Here are four ways they can do this.

1. Praise and encourage your child

Your positivity will make a difference to your child’s approach to homework and learning in general. Simply, your presence and support creates a positive learning environment.

Our study involved working with recently arrived Afghani mothers who were uncertain how to help their children with school. This was because they said they could not understand the Australian education system or speak or write in English.

However, they committed to sit next to their children as they completed their homework tasks in English, asking them questions and encouraging them to discuss what they were learning in their first language.

In this way, the parents still played a role in supporting their child even without understanding the content and the children were actively engaged in their learning.

2. Model learning behaviour

Many teachers model what they would like their students to do. So, if a child has a problem they can’t work out, you can sit down and model how you would do it, then complete the next one together and then have the child do it on their own.

3. Create a homework plan

When your child becomes overly frustrated with their homework, do not force them. Instead, together create a plan to best tackle it:

read and understand the homework task

break the homework task into smaller logical chunks

discuss how much time is required to complete each chunk

work backwards from the deadline and create a timeline

put the timeline where the child can see it

encourage your child to mark completed chunks to see the progress made on the task

4. Make space for homework

Life is busy. Parents can create positive study habits by allocating family time for this. This could mean carving out one hour after dinner for your child to do homework while you engage in a study activity such as reading, rather than watching television and relaxing. You can also create a comfortable and inviting reading space for the child to learn in.

Parents’ ability to support their child’s learning goes beyond homework. Parents can engage their child in discussions, read with them, and provide them with other ongoing learning opportunities (such as going to a museum, watching a documentary or spending time online together).

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Don’t Help Your Kids With Homework

Focus on prioritization and process, not the assignment itself.

So much of the homework advice parents are given is theory-based, and therefore not entirely helpful in the chaos of day-to-day life. People are told that students should have “ grit .” They should “ learn from failure .” But it’s hard to know how to implement these ideas when what you really need is to support a kid who has a chemistry test and two papers due in the next 48 hours but seems to be focused only on Instagram.

Some parents manage to guide their kids through these moments with relative ease. Others hire tutors. The large majority of us, however, are stuck at home alone, trying to stave off our own breakdowns in the face of our children’s.

While reprimanding your child for not having started her homework earlier may be your natural instinct, in the midst of stress, it will only make her shut down or lash out. In our experience as teachers, tutors, and parents, the students who feel terrible about procrastinating are more likely to have anxiety and negative feelings that will only fuel their continued procrastination. So instead of admonishing your procrastinator, take a deep breath and try to figure out how she’s going to manage the tasks at hand. Help her make a realistic plan to manage her time. Try to model understanding, even when you’re upset.

Having tolerance for challenges will allow her to approach future frustrations from a more positive perspective. Easier said than done, to be sure, but try to work with your child to identify not only how but why her homework habits are suffering. This understanding will be crucial to helping her transform these habits into more effective ones.

Read: The cult of homework

Because most of us are programmed to focus on present rather than future fulfillment, it’s easy to put off something we dread. Kids who procrastinate almost always do so because they have negative associations with or feelings about a particular task. Unfortunately, avoiding assignments usually lowers students’ self-esteem and makes them dislike the topic that much more, resulting in a vicious cycle of procrastination. Therefore, it’s important both to address why students are procrastinating—what’s upsetting them about the work at hand—and to give them practical tools to manage their time and set priorities.

If you’re worried that your child is the only one in her class who takes ages to get started on her homework, fear not. Students in our classes—and our own kids too, just like many of us adults—have found every which way to put off sitting down to tackle the one thing they know they need to get done. There are all kinds of reasons kids avoid doing their homework. Maybe they’re concerned about what a teacher will think, or that their work won’t measure up to a friend’s. Maybe they’re distracted by something that happened in school that day.

Whatever the case may be, the first step here is determining out what’s stressing your child out in the first place.

If your child fears what her teacher will think if she makes mistakes: She should start off by independently reviewing the material that she feels unsure of, and then reach out to her teacher for further help if she needs it. Assure her that asking questions and making an effort are important to her teacher. Take it from us: Teachers see questions as a sign of an engaged, conscientious, and curious student. No matter the teacher’s temperament or reputation, she will respond positively to your child coming to her with sincere questions and hard work.

If your child fears parental judgment due to bad grades: Remember that although high marks may be important to you, focusing on process and effort is key to your child’s success, not to mention that putting too much pressure on her can lead to resentment. Help your child create a process she can rely on for her work. Better effort will help your child engage with the material and yield better results in the long run.

If your child fears her best friend’s judgment: Start by encouraging your child not to discuss grades with her friends. Middle schoolers in particular tend to share their marks with one another, and it usually just makes kids feel lousy. The “What did you get?” question is tough for all students, especially in the middle grades, when they are looking for affirmation from their peers. Your child’s grades are no one else’s business. While her best friend may do well in history, he may have more trouble with math than your child does. Or maybe he seems great at everything now, but he actually struggles in art class, and in the future he’ll be a terrible driver or have an awkward first date. In other words, we all have subjects—or areas of our lives—that come more or less easily than others. Challenges are inevitable. What matters most is how we approach them.

If your child fears she isn’t capable: First acknowledge how painful this feeling must be. Then reassure her that she is capable and give concrete anecdotes so she doesn’t roll her eyes. Share with her a moment when you thought you couldn’t do something, but you learned to conquer the task. And be honest! Your kid will know that you didn’t really wrestle that champion alligator. Emphasize the importance of determination, effort, and persistence in whichever example of your successes you choose to share.

If your child is exhausted: Prioritize only what’s really essential. Try to help your child go to bed earlier. She can always wake up early to complete smaller assignments if need be. Getting major work done while exhausted is a losing battle for everyone. Help her plan ahead. Create a schedule for completing small portions of a larger assignment over the course of several days or weeks to make overwhelming work seem more manageable.

Read: My daughter’s homework is killing me

Once you figure out what’s driving your child’s procrastination, you can strategize with her about logistics. Start by removing temptation when possible. Of course she’d rather see where her friends went this afternoon than stare at a blinking cursor, and if all it takes is a simple click or swipe for your child to access social media, it’s going to take her eons to finish an assignment. It will be almost impossible for her to develop an argument that flows if she’s tempted by her phone. So all possible impediments to success should be removed. Disabling social-media and messaging apps and having a conversation about the purpose of setting technology limits is an important first step. Putting her phone aside will also help her compartmentalize time so that she can get her work done more thoroughly and then have free time afterward. Technological boundaries may lead to major pushback—especially now, when kids rely on technology for most forms of socializing—but this temporary misery is undoubtedly worth it in the long run.

And emphasize that short-term pleasure equals long-term pain. Empathize with children who do not want to do something that’s hard. Then remind them that the immediate instinct to procrastinate and play video games will make life miserable later. While they may resist and grumble, helping establish rules will ultimately prevent suffering tonight, tomorrow, and next week. Kids thrive in the comfort, reliability, and safety of a structured, focused work environment. It’s never easy, but on evenings when you want to tear your hair out because your child won’t sit down to work, reinforce the message that short-term gratification will only get in the way of long-term goals.

Finally, explain the relevance of the assignment. If kids don’t understand why they’re doing the work, they’re more likely to be frustrated. For example, your child might ask, “Why do I need to know algebra? I’ll never use it when I’m older.” You can tell the truth: “You probably won’t need to know about variables in everyday life, but learning algebra will give you a framework for understanding how to break down and solve complex tasks down the road.”

Learning to work independently, without a teacher’s direct counsel, is key to building academic and personal autonomy. So when your child is overwhelmed, help her figure out why, and then model strategies that foster independence, confidence, and well-being.

This piece is adapted from Freireich and Platzer’s new book, Taking the Stress out of Homework . Every Tuesday, they answer education-related questions . Have one? Email them at [email protected].

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Khan Academy Blog

Making Homework Easier: Tips and Tools for Parents 

posted on September 20, 2023

By Stephanie Yamkovenko , group manager of Khan Academy’s Digital Marketing Team.

Homework can present challenges for parents and children alike. You naturally want to provide support for your child’s learning journey and ensure they are reaching their full potential. In this blog post, we will delve into practical strategies to assist your child with their homework. From fostering understanding and offering encouragement to breaking down tasks and implementing rewards, we will explore a variety of effective approaches to help your child achieve academic success.

Step 1: Set Up Your Child for Success

Your child’s study environment can have a significant impact on their homework performance. Create a space that is free from distractions like the television, smartphones, or noisy siblings. The study space should be comfortable, well lit, and have all the necessary materials your child might need, such as pens, papers, and textbooks. If your child’s workspace is noisy or uncomfortable, they may have difficulty focusing on their homework, resulting in lower productivity. 

For example, if you live in a small apartment, consider setting up a designated corner with a small desk or table where your child can focus on their work. You can use dividers or screens to create a sense of privacy and minimize distractions.

If the only place to do homework is in the dining room or kitchen, try to establish a routine where the area is cleared and organized before study time. This can help signal to your child that it’s time to concentrate and be productive.

Remember, it’s important to adapt to your specific circumstances and make the best of the available space. The key is to create a dedicated study area that promotes focus and minimizes interruptions regardless of the size or location of your home.

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Step 2: make it fun.

It’s important to make homework fun and engaging for your child. Here are some examples of how you can do it:

• Use games : Incorporate educational games like card games, board games, or puzzles that align with the subject your child is learning. For instance, use Scrabble to practice spelling or Sudoku to enhance problem-solving skills.
• Turn it into a challenge : Create a friendly competition between siblings or friends by setting goals or time limits for completing assignments. Offer small rewards or incentives for accomplishing tasks.
• Make it interactive : Use hands-on activities or experiments to reinforce concepts learned in class. For science or math, conduct simple experiments at home or use manipulatives like blocks or counters to visualize abstract concepts.
• Use technology : Explore online educational platforms or apps that offer interactive learning experiences. There are various educational games, virtual simulations, and videos available that can make homework more enjoyable.
• Incorporate creativity : Encourage your child to express their understanding through art, storytelling, or multimedia presentations. For example, they can create a comic strip to summarize a story or make a short video to explain a concept.

Remember, by making homework enjoyable, you can help your child develop a positive attitude towards learning.

Step 3: Use Rewards

Rewards can be a powerful motivational tool for children. Offering positive reinforcement can encourage them to complete their homework on time and to the best of their ability. 

Here are some examples of rewards our team has used with their children:

• Extra screen time: “I use Apple parental controls to add screen time on their iPad.”
• Access to a favorite toy: “My eight year old has a drum kit, which drives us all up the wall. (Thanks, Grandma!) But when they’ve been doing a lot of school work, we put on headphones and let him go nuts.”
• Praise for a job well done: “Specific, measurable praise is what works best.” 
• Trip to the park: “A trip to the park is good for everyone, especially for the kids to run around with the doggos.”
• Movie night: “I know every word and song lyric in Moana ; we now reserve showings for good behavior.” 
• Stickers or stamps: “Gold stars were such a thing growing up in the 80s; turns out they still work.”
• Stay up a little later: “An extra 30 minutes feels like a whole day for my young ones; use this reward with caution as it can become the expectation!”

So, celebrate your child’s efforts and encourage them to continue doing their best.

Step 4: Break Down Difficult Tasks

When facing daunting homework assignments, follow these step-by-step instructions to break down the tasks into smaller, manageable chunks:

• Understand the requirements and scope of the task.
• Break down the assignment into individual tasks or sub-tasks.  
• Splitting the middle term
• Using formula
• Using Quadratic formula
• Using algebraic identities
• Determine the order in which tasks should be completed based on importance or difficulty. 
• Start with the easiest task. Begin with the task that seems the least challenging or time-consuming.
• Progress to more challenging tasks: Once the easier tasks are completed, move on to more difficult ones.
• Take breaks: Schedule short breaks between tasks to avoid burnout and maintain focus.
• Check completed tasks for accuracy and make any necessary revisions.
• Finish the remaining task(s) with the same approach.
• Celebrate small achievements to boost confidence and keep motivation high.

By following these steps, you can make daunting homework assignments more manageable and less overwhelming for your child.

Step 5: Get Targeted Help

If your child is struggling with homework, it might be worth considering seeking personalized assistance. You have the option to search for professional tutors or explore online tutoring platforms, such as Khan Academy’s AI tutor, Khanmigo .

This AI tutor can offer personalized guidance and support tailored to your child’s specific needs, helping them grasp complex concepts and practice essential skills. Incorporating this approach can effectively complement your child’s learning and enhance their homework performance.

Enhance your child’s learning and boost homework performance!

Homework can be a challenge for both parents and children. But with the right approach, you can help your child overcome difficulties and support their learning. Encourage and understand your child, create a comfortable environment, break down difficult tasks, use rewards, get professional help when needed, and make it fun. With these tips and techniques, you can help your child achieve success, develop a love for learning, and achieve academic excellence. Remember that each child learns differently, so it’s essential to adjust your approach to meet their unique needs.

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Homework challenges and strategies

By Amanda Morin

Expert reviewed by Jim Rein, MA

At a glance

Kids can struggle with homework for lots of reasons.

A common challenge is rushing through assignments.

Once you understand a homework challenge, it’s easier to find solutions.

Most kids struggle with homework from time to time. But kids who learn and think differently may struggle more than others. Understanding the homework challenges your child faces can help you reduce stress and avoid battles.

Here are some common homework challenges and tips to help.

The challenge: Rushing through homework

Kids with learning difficulties may rush because they’re trying to get through what’s hard for them as fast as possible. For kids with ADHD, trouble with focus and working memory may be the cause.

Rushing through homework can lead to messy or incorrect homework. It can also lead to kids missing key parts of the assignment. One thing to try is having your child do the easiest assignments first and then move to harder ones.

Get more tips for helping grade-schoolers and middle-schoolers slow down on homework.

The challenge: Taking notes

Note-taking isn’t an easy skill for some kids. They may struggle with the mechanical parts of writing or with organizing ideas on a page. Kids may also find it hard to read text and take notes at the same time.

Using the outline method may help. It divides notes into main ideas, subtopics, and details. 

Explore different note-taking strategies .

The challenge: Managing time and staying organized

Some kids struggle with keeping track of time and making a plan for getting all of their work done. That’s especially true of kids who have trouble with executive function.

Try creating a homework schedule and set a specific time and place for your child to get homework done. Use a timer to help your child stay on track and get a better sense of time.

Learn about trouble with planning .

The challenge: Studying effectively

Many kids need to be taught how to study effectively. But some may need concrete strategies.

One thing to try is creating a checklist of all the steps that go into studying. Have your child mark off each one. Lists can help kids monitor their work.

Explore more study strategies for grade-schoolers and teens .

The challenge: Recalling information

Some kids have trouble holding on to information so they can use it later. (This skill is called working memory. ) They may study for hours but remember nothing the next day. But there are different types of memory.

If your child has trouble with verbal memory, try using visual study aids like graphs, maps, or drawings.

Practice “muscle memory” exercises to help kids with working memory.

The challenge: Learning independently

It’s important for kids to learn how to do homework without help. Using a homework contract can help your child set realistic goals. Encourage “thinking out loud.”

Get tips for helping grade-schoolers do schoolwork on their own.

Sometimes, homework challenges don’t go away despite your best efforts. Look for signs that kids may have too much homework . And learn how to talk with teachers about concerns .

Key takeaways

Some kids have a hard time doing schoolwork on their own.

It can help to tailor homework strategies to a child’s specific challenges and strengths.

Sometimes, there’s too much homework for a child to handle. Talk to the teacher.

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Helping Kids with Homework: 11 Easy & Do-Able Tips for Parents

Tips for Smart Parenting 09/21/2021 11 minute read

Homework is the bane of every student, as it is for the parents.

As a matter of fact, homework is not even necessary in the first place.

Before you react, there are countless studies to validate this claim. But even if we go on a hard-fought, well-thought, debate on whether homework is important or not, homework is here to stay. 

That said, helping kids with their take-home assignments is a duty we have to fulfill. But how exactly do we do it?

Below are actionable parenting tips to help your kids with their homework without doing it for them!

You might be interested:  How to Support Kids Learning Science and Why it Matters?

Parenting Tips on How to Do Homework with Kids

We used to believe that parental availability and support while kids do their assignments is key for their class success. "The more involved parents are, the better off they would be," so to speak. 

But that is a misconception and sometimes may even be counterproductive. As Kathleen Reilly said:

“When parents are overly immersed in homework, they deny kids the chance to become more independent and confident. Worse, it can breed anxiety along the way.” 

Helping kids with homework means that you offer your support but never treat the assignment like it's your responsibility. It's challenging, but kids need to do homework on their own because the assignments deal with lessons already discussed in class. Plus, answering homework by themselves is a good way to teach independent learning .

With that in mind, here are the homework tips for parents:

1. Work Out a Working Routine

Believe it or not, children love routines because they create structure .

This helps children feel more secure because they know what to do and what's expected of them.

Face it, nobody likes homeworks. But make it easier for your kids to do their's by doing routines such as below:

What time should they start? Set a definite time when they should do their homeworks. Will it be right after they arrive from school? Should they play for an hour first? Would they do it after shower time or after dinner?

Where is their homework place? The place they choose is likely the area they feel most comfy working in. That element adds extra help when doing homework. Find a place and stick with it.

If you have multiple kids, distinct routines for each are fine. What matters is that you enforce discipline and commitment to the schedule. Write the details on a sheet of paper and post their routines on the wall!

2. Make a Homework Plan

The routine simply tackles the when and where kids do their assignments. A homework plan focuses on how they do it. 

Doing homework needs to be systematic , both for you and the child. Approach homework from a systematic point of view and you save yourselves time and whine.

The example below is the system I found most suited for my children. You can follow it or fashion your own process, whichever works best. Here's what my kids do:

Read  the directions of the homework, twice.

Determine the goal and the steps needed to achieve it.

Divide the assignment into several chunks (if logically possible).

Set time limits for each portion and mark each as complete when finished.

Helping kids with homework is not about giving them all the answers. It's about  strategizing on how to finish the homework effectively and efficiently.

3. Monitor, Don't Correct

Let's get back to basics .

What is the purpose of homework?

Homework allows teachers to gauge what the students understood in class. That said, mistakes are welcomed.

But since most parents dread the idea of making mistakes, they try to  correct each flaw too often all for a perfect remark.

Word of advice: Teachers are well-aware of how your kids perform in class, so they know the truth.

My point is, remove the notion of absolute perfection from your kids.

It's okay to make mistakes, as long as they learn how to correct them on their own ! There should be no pressure on them to avoid mistakes at all costs. Encourage an atmosphere of growth. But, make it clear to your kids they should resolve their mistakes the next time around, once they understand the correct answer.

Do this instead:

Allow your kids to ask you up to 3 questions on their homework. But, be stingy on answering their questions right away.

When they ask, reply to them something like "I can help you once I finish my chores" or "Read it again, I'll be back in a sec."

You might not realize it, but this is one subtle way to help kids with homework. When you delay your aid, you gently force them to reread the directions and rework the problem on their own.

Monitor and ask them probing questions on the reason behind their homework answers.

4. Set an Example to Imitate

Helping kids how to do homework can also mean modeling the behavior to them. This is a parenting hack that most parents fail to practice.

It can be a good motivating factor for the kids if you do chores like budgeting or computing household expenses at the same time they do their assignments.

This is one indirect way to teach kids how to do homework. Set a good example and you'll find them following your footsteps.

5. Don't Sit Beside Them

Sitting and closely monitoring your kids as they answer homework is not at all helpful.

Behind the scenes, it sends a message to their brains that you might think they can't do the work without direct supervision.

Would you like that? Of course not!

Helping kids with their homework should also tap into the emotional aspect of learning. Show them that you trust their brains by letting them do their assignment on their own. Otherwise, you shatter their self-confidence leading to feelings of inferiority.

Here are my suggestions:

Stay nearby, do chores, balance your checks, wash dishes. Basically, just be there for them, without literally sitting beside them.

6. Establish the No-Nonsense Responsibility

Make the duties of each member in the family clear.

Of course, both you and your partner have work responsibilities, and so do the kids! They're expected to be diligent with their responsibilities:

Attend classes

Work with their teachers

And of course... do their homeworks

Once they agreed to a working routine and a homework plan , then there is no turning back. Tell them to buckle their seats until they finish their tasks. Discipline matters just as much as intellect and system when dealing with homework.

7. Teach Them Time Management 

Time management is the one of the most important tools for productivity.

Once your kids learn the benefits of being in control of their time, they position themselves to a life of success. Time management is not only relevant for homework. Instilling this behavior is a must from the get-go.

One tip is using an old analog wall clock and coloring in the hour when they should do answer their homework. Once the short arm reaches it, teach them to take initiative to do their tasks.

Help them in sorting the time out too, especially, if there are multiple homework in one seating.

8. Positive Reinforcement is a Great Hack

They say the best way to man's heart is through their stomach. Well, the best way to a child's heart is through snacks and treats . (I made that up)

Instead of threatening them to limit their TV watching time or call their teachers, why not compensate their efforts with some good ol' sweets? 

Reinforcing their diligence pushes them more to do it. Scare tactics are not as good as rewards to encourage a behavior. Although, do the positive reinforcement practice sparingly.  

Appreciating their efforts is another way to help kids with homework as this motivates them. You can do this by:

Posting their aced assignments or exams

Displaying their art projects on the fridge

It showcases how much you value their efforts and how proud you are of them.

9. Walk Away Once the Whine Fest Starts

How does walking away help kids on how to do homework? Well, it doesn't. It's more for your benefit than them.

Having a rough day at work is physically and mentally exhausting . Add another layer of whining because kids don't want to do their assignments, and you enter a whole new level of stress .

If they keep on complaining, check their homework progress.

If they are only being grumpy even when they can do it, then try to motivate them. Tell them that the sooner they finish, the more time they'd have to watch their favorite TV shows .

If the homework is indeed truly difficult, then lend them a hand.

Ask their teacher about it, especially if the homework is beyond the kid's level of understanding. Inquire if it's appropriate to give kids complex problems. Their teachers would love to hear feedback from parents, on top of that, to aid the pupils with their homework!

10. Let Them Take the Lead

Their Homework is not only a test of one's learning but also of a kid's sense of responsibility .

Their answers should be theirs and they must own up if they fail to do it. If they left their homework at home, then parents shouldn't bail their kids out by bringing their assignments to class.

Matt Vaccaro, a first-grade teacher, says that he makes students do their assignment during recess if they forget to do it at home.

According to him "Once she starts missing playtime, she gets the message."

This seemingly harsh yet rightful way to deal with their negligence actually motivates the kids to be responsible in the succeeding homework. 

Helping them how to do homework is as necessary as teaching them to be responsible for it.

11. Keep Your Composure and Carry On

Homework meltdowns do occur, so be ready!

These are children's ways of saying they're overwhelmed . And sometimes these kids are indeed struggling so bad. 

Parents, please keep your composure. Breathe and stay calm . You risk compromising their progress if you too burst out in frustration. Remember that homework is an opportunity to cultivate better parent-child relationships .

Here are ways to address homework meltdowns:

A simple hug might do

Speak words of affirmation like "we'll figure it out"

Let them vent out to you while you listen calmly

Sometimes, kids just need to blow off some steam. Catering to these needs are subtle ways of helping kids with homework. See the mood change after they've burst the bubble.

If ever you did lash out (although we hope not). Apologize immediately and tell your child that you both need a timeout for 10 minutes. They can play for within that period and resume working on the homework once the time is up.

Helping kids with homework is a dual purpose. You make homework accomplishment more manageable for them and you make life easier for you. Consider the above homework tips next time your kids have assignments.

The How-to-do-Homework Hack!

Some kids might still see learning as a chore, and that's okay. I mean, who likes to wake up early and be in class when they can play at home all day?

Making the most out of their curiosity helps transform their perception of learning — from a tedious and boring chore to a fun and interactive learning experience. We believe that the way to encourage kids to do their homework is by making them see the fun in learning.

The best way to do this is using educational toys! 

The STEMscope portable microscope is a good tool to cultivate your child's curiosity. This handheld science gadget is an all-around partner for your kid's best learning! 

Once they activate their curiosity, they develop the insatiable desire to learn, after that, they will see homework as fun learning opportunity!

Check out our complete catalog of science toys to find the best toy for your kid!

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How to help your child with homework

by: The GreatSchools Editorial Team | Updated: June 13, 2023

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Here are ways to best help your child when she’s doing homework:

Have your child settle into a good study space.

Help your child focus., keep school supplies close at hand., set up a regular time for homework., stay close by while your child does homework., review the work when your child says he’s finished..

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How to Help Your Child With Homework

Put an end to homework tug-of-wars with your child, whether they’re a perfectionist or procrastinator..

Sometimes homework can feel like you’re pulling teeth, especially if your child is resisting. But the truth is, homework hassles are often self-discipline problems in disguise. Setting reasonable limits can help your child get back on track.

Whether your child is a perfectionist or a procrastinator, every student is bound to experience some frustration completing their assignments. 

Here’s how to help your child finish their work successfully, whether they’re a perfectionist, procrastinator, disorganized, or striving student.

The Perfectionist

To a certain extent, perfectionists just can't help it.

"Perfectionism can be a wonderful thing to pass on to your child, so parents shouldn't feel badly about it,” says Melanie J. Katzman, associate clinical professor of psychology at Weill Cornell Medical School in New York City. “But carried to an extreme, it can become debilitating.”

For example, perfectionist kids may anticipate that they’ll never be able to meet their own high standards and ask themselves, “Why bother?”

To keep your child from getting gridlocked while doing homework, help them set realistic achievement goals and praise effort, not grades.

The Procrastinator

Procrastinators find 101 things to do before they actually sit down and start their homework. Often, this means waiting until the last minute then rushing through it.

A child who procrastinates may do so for various reasons: They may be disorganized or have poor study or planning skills, or they may be anxious or angry about something at home or at school, in which case you’ll want to talk to them, their teachers, or a school psychologist to determine why.

To help, work with your child to set goals they can meet and come up with a schedule together (these tips for establishing homework habits can help). You can get ahead of homework or school-related anxieties with these soothing books for coping with worry to share during your nightly read-aloud.

The Disorganized Child

The disorganized child is always "just about" to sit down and start their homework, but then... well, something comes up. 

You could tear your hair out over the antics of a child who's disorganized — and they still won't have finished what they need to do. Sometimes the problem may be a learning challenge. Sometimes it's as simple as providing a reasonably quiet, efficient workspace or teaching your child to organize homework materials and allocate time appropriately.

Be careful not to get in your child’s way. If you're always supplying suggestions and reminders, you undermine the whole purpose of homework. The disorganized child will never gain the confidence they need to be self-sufficient.

The Striving Student

Parents of striving students may hear the lament "I'm not smart enough" or "It's just too hard” — especially around 4th or 5th grade, when the amount of homework intensifies and variance between teachers’ instruction styles grows. To keep your child engaged, you need to be a cheerleader. (Here’s how to talk to your child about confidence .)

If your child is genuinely unable to do their homework, you, in tandem with a teacher or school psychologist, must figure out why and enlist the necessary help. A learning difficulty or anxiety over problems at home may be affecting schoolwork, or your child may need more challenging assignments. 

Get ready for your child to go back to school with our guide — it's full of recommended books, teacher tips, homework help, and more resources for a successful school year.

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Ten Homework Motivation Strategies for Children and Teens

Use these 10 strategies to end the homework wars..

Posted September 6, 2015 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

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When it comes to homework, parents get burnt out hearing these hollow and suspicious words: "I did it at school," "They didn't give homework today," "It hardly counts for my grade," "My teacher never looks at my homework anyway," "That assignment was optional." As parents, hearing these words is enough to drive you crazy.

As I write in my book, 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child , parents must not let their emotions get the best of them when their kids are not getting homework done. The strategies below are for helping your child or teen get unstuck:

• Nix the nagging! Pestering creates an adversarial, shaming dynamic that backfires. Instead, try my Calm, Firm, and Non-Controlling approach. Gently empower your child or teen by supportively saying, "I see that you are frustrated. Let's think of ways to help you get back on track with your homework/schoolwork."
• Encourage effort over perfection. Be mindful that kids tend to get intimidated when they have a hard time understanding material. They may get into negative self-talk like, "I can't do this." Even if they're truly thinking this way, parents may instead hear comments like, "I hate this." or "This is stupid." Remind your child or teen that doing his best effort is better than not doing it at all.
• Prioritize. Coach and encourage that the order that homework is done based on urgency, complexity, and workload. At the same time, realize that some students do better by starting with easier tasks and that this can help spark them to tackle more demanding assignments.
• Break it down. Reinforce breaking up homework time into manageable chunks and encourage taking regular breaks. Encourage moving around and walking away for a bit. Remind that an apple really does provide the same effect, and is healthier than an energy drink.
• Think "15 minutes of pain." Have the student set a timer for only 15 minutes. Keep it lighthearted and explain that even if it "hurts" doing the work, she can stop after 15 minutes. Like most things in life, once we push ourselves and get going, it's not so bad.
• Don't be consequence ravenous. Imposing consequences for homework not being done can backfire with defiant behavior. If you use consequences, don't present them with yelling. Keep them reasonable and ask the student to help you be able to move towards rewards (don't go overboard) and minimize consequences. Remember that real, natural consequences are the best motivators.
• Encourage connection. Encourage the student to make or re-establish a connection with his teacher. I have seen hundreds of kids "shoot themselves in the foot" with incomplete homework if they don't have a decent relationship with their teacher.
• Change up the homework/study surroundings. Try putting an inspirational poster by the desk, moving to a different room, or silencing the cell phone. New changes can create more changes.
• Use those study halls. Encourage the use of them as much as possible. Some kids lose sight of that more done at school, means less to do at home.
• Allow for some fun. Notice if your student is racing through the homework just to have fun. Fun time like, TV, phone time, or surfing the web, is welcome, but make sure you put limits on it.

Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D. , is a psychologist and the author of seven books, including 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child.

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22 Effective Ways Parents Can Support Kids Struggling with Homework

Homework can be a challenging part of a child’s academic journey, especially if they struggle with focus, understanding, or time management. As a parent, you play a crucial role in making homework a more manageable and less stressful task for your child. From creating a supportive environment to encouraging good study habits, there are several strategies you can use to help your child overcome homework hurdles. Here are 22 effective ways parents can assist their children who are struggling with homework, fostering both confidence and academic growth.

Table of Contents

1. Create a Dedicated Homework Space

Having a specific area designated for homework can help children focus and be more productive. Make sure this space is quiet, well-lit, and free from distractions. Keeping necessary supplies like pencils, paper, and a calculator within reach can help your child stay organized and on task.

2. Set a Consistent Homework Routine

Establishing a consistent homework routine helps children understand the importance of time management. Set a specific time each day for homework, ideally when your child is most alert and focused. This consistency helps build a habit and reduces procrastination.

3. Break Homework into Manageable Chunks

Large assignments can be overwhelming. Help your child break homework into smaller, more manageable tasks. Encourage them to focus on one piece at a time and take short breaks in between. This approach makes homework feel less daunting and more achievable.

4. Encourage Short Breaks

Short breaks can help children recharge and stay focused. Encourage your child to take a 5-10 minute break after every 20-30 minutes of study. Activities like stretching, deep breathing, or a quick walk can help refresh their mind and improve concentration.

5. Provide Positive Reinforcement

Celebrate small successes and provide positive reinforcement to encourage your child. Praise their effort and progress rather than just the results. This builds their confidence and motivates them to keep working hard, knowing their efforts are recognized.

6. Be Available for Help, but Don’t Hover

Be available to assist with homework but avoid hovering. Let your child attempt to solve problems on their own first, stepping in only when they truly need help. This fosters independence and problem-solving skills, essential for academic success.

7. Use Tools and Resourc es

Utilize educational tools and resources such as online tutorials, apps, or reference books to help your child understand difficult concepts. These resources can offer alternative explanations and interactive ways to learn, making challenging subjects more accessible

8. Stay in Touch with Teachers

Maintain regular communication with your child’s teachers to stay informed about their progress and any areas where they might be struggling. Teachers can provide insights, additional resources, or strategies that can help at home.

9. Teach Time Management Skill s

Help your child develop time management skills by creating a homework schedule that includes deadlines and priorities. Encourage them to use planners or digital tools to keep track of assignments, tests, and other commitments, teaching them to balance their workload effectively.

10. Encourage a Growth Mindset

Promote a growth mindset by encouraging your child to view challenges as opportunities to learn rather than as failures. Praise their effort, persistence, and willingness to tackle difficult tasks, fostering resilience and a love for learning.

11. Provide Healthy Snacks

Nutrition plays a significant role in concentration and focus. Provide healthy snacks such as fruits, nuts, or yogurt during homework time to keep your child’s energy levels stable and their mind sharp.

12. Limit Distractions

Limit distractions by turning off the TV, putting away mobile phones, and minimizing background noise. A calm and focused environment helps children concentrate better and complete homework more efficiently.

13. Set Realistic Expectations

Set realistic expectations for homework based on your child’s age, grade level, and abilities. Understand that some subjects may take longer for them to grasp. Being patient and supportive will help them feel more comfortable and less pressured.

14. Use Visual Aids and Timers

Visual aids such as charts, checklists, or whiteboards can help children stay organized. Using timers can also help them stay focused on a task for a specific period, creating a sense of urgency and accomplishment when time is well-managed.

15. Encourage Collaborative Learning

Encourage study sessions with classmates or friends who can help each other understand challenging concepts. Collaborative learning fosters a sense of teamwork and often makes learning more engaging and less stressful.

16. Teach Relaxation Techniques

Teach your child relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or stretching exercises to help them manage stress and anxiety associated with homework. Relaxation techniques can improve focus and reduce mental fatigue.

17. Review and Reflect Together

Take a few minutes to review completed homework and reflect on the learning process with your child. Discuss what they found easy or challenging and brainstorm ways to tackle difficult areas more effectively in the future.

18. Create a Homework Agreement

Create a homework agreement outlining expectations, responsibilities, and rewards for completing homework on time and with effort. This agreement provides structure and a sense of accountability, making homework a joint effort between parents and children.

19. Encourage Problem-Solving Skills

Encourage your child to think critically and develop problem-solving skills rather than providing immediate answers. Ask guiding questions that lead them to find solutions on their own, promoting independence and confidence in their abilities.

20. Stay Calm and Patient

Staying calm and patient is crucial, especially when your child is frustrated or overwhelmed. Your positive attitude and encouragement can help them stay focused and motivated to complete their homework without feeling defeated.

21. Use Homework as a Learning Opportunity

Instead of treating homework as a chore, frame it as an opportunity to learn and explore new ideas. Help your child understand the relevance of what they are learning and how it applies to the real world, increasing their interest and engagement.

22. Reward Progress and Effort

Implement a reward system that acknowledges both effort and progress, such as earning extra screen time, choosing a family activity, or a small treat. Rewards provide positive reinforcement, making homework a more enjoyable and rewarding experience.

Hi, I’m Kelly, content creator, freelance writer, and blogger. I’m passionate about cooking, traveling, and sharing life’s little moments. As a mom to an adult autistic son, I blend my personal experiences with my love for food, history, and travel. I aim to help and inspire through my writing, always with a friendly, quirky, and approachable touch.

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January 24, 2020

How to help your kids with homework—without doing it for them

by Melissa Barnes and Katrina Tour, The Conversation

Parents are a child's first and most important teachers . Parent involvement in their child's learning can help improve how well they do in school. However, when it comes to helping kids with homework, it's not so simple.

While it's important to show support and model learning behavior, there is a limit to how much help you can give without robbing your child of the opportunity to learn for themselves.

Be involved and interested

An analysis of more than 400 research studies found parent involvement , both at school and at home, could improve students' academic achievement, engagement and motivation.

School involvement includes parents participating in events such as parent-teacher conferences and volunteering in the classroom. Home involvement includes parents talking with children about school, providing encouragement, creating stimulating environments for learning and finally—helping them with homework.

The paper found overall, it was consistently beneficial for parents to be involved in their child's education, regardless of the child's age or socioeconomic status. However, this same analysis also suggested parents should be cautious with how they approach helping with homework.

Parents helping kids with homework was linked to higher levels of motivation and engagement, but lower levels of academic achievement. This suggests too much help may take away from the child's responsibility for their own learning.

Help them take responsibility

Most children don't like homework. Many parents agonize over helping their children with homework. Not surprisingly, this creates a negative emotional atmosphere that often results in questioning the value of homework.

Homework has often been linked to student achievement, promoting the idea children who complete it will do better in school. The most comprehensive analysis on homework and achievement to date suggests it can influence academic achievement (like test scores), particularly for children in years seven to 12.

But more research is needed to find out about how much homework is appropriate for particular ages and what types are best to maximize home learning.

When it comes to parent involvement, research suggests parents should help their child see their homework as an opportunity to learn rather than perform. For example, if a child needs to create a poster, it is more valuable the child notes the skills they develop while creating the poster rather than making the best looking poster in the class.

Instead of ensuring their child completes their homework, it's more effective for parents to support their child to increase confidence in completing homework tasks on their own.

Here are four ways they can do this.

1. Praise and encourage your child

Your positivity will make a difference to your child's approach to homework and learning in general. Simply, your presence and support creates a positive learning environment.

Our study involved working with recently arrived Afghani mothers who were uncertain how to help their children with school. This was because they said they could not understand the Australian education system or speak or write in English.

However, they committed to sit next to their children as they completed their homework tasks in English, asking them questions and encouraging them to discuss what they were learning in their first language.

In this way, the parents still played a role in supporting their child even without understanding the content and the children were actively engaged in their learning.

2. Model learning behavior

Many teachers model what they would like their students to do. So, if a child has a problem they can't work out, you can sit down and model how you would do it, then complete the next one together and then have the child do it on their own.

3. Create a homework plan

When your child becomes overly frustrated with their homework, do not force them. Instead, together create a plan to best tackle it:

• read and understand the homework task
• break the homework task into smaller logical chunks
• discuss how much time is required to complete each chunk
• work backwards from the deadline and create a timeline
• put the timeline where the child can see it
• encourage your child to mark completed chunks to see the progress made on the task

4. Make space for homework

Life is busy. Parents can create positive study habits by allocating family time for this. This could mean carving out one hour after dinner for your child to do homework while you engage in a study activity such as reading, rather than watching television and relaxing. You can also create a comfortable and inviting reading space for the child to learn in.

Parents' ability to support their child's learning goes beyond homework . Parents can engage their child in discussions, read with them, and provide them with other ongoing learning opportunities (such as going to a museum, watching a documentary or spending time online together).

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10 top tips for helping your child with homework

1. Discuss homework

Give your child a chance to talk about their school work if they want to. Even if you know nothing about a particular subject, you can still help just by talking and listening and helping them to find their own answers.

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2. Encourage

Help your child take responsibility for organising and doing their homework and never forget to praise them for their hard work or their improved concentration, handwriting or presentation.

3. Use available tools

Many schools have a homework diary or daybook for parents to sign each day, so show your interest, commitment and respect for your child by signing it regularly. This helps you and your child know that their homework is being monitored and also builds up goodwill between yourself and the school.

4. Help your child keep to a routine

Some children prefer to do homework straight after school, whereas others prefer to ‘unwind’ first, or have their meal then do homework later. Let your child decide – but ensure they stick to it.

5. Establish a study zone

It’s very important to try to create a suitable place where your child can do their homework, ideally somewhere with a clear work surface, good lighting and no interruptions. Try to teach younger brothers and sisters not to interrupt when homework is being done.

6. Allow for differences

Children are all different and have different learning styles. Some prefer to study alone, whereas others like to study with friends or family. It’s worth remembering that some children like to work with music on to keep them company, too.

7. Use resources

If there isn’t suitable space in your home for working, try a local library or a homework club if your child’s school offers one. At the library, children can use computers to get on the internet if you don’t have access at home.

8. Get tech savvy

The internet can be great for looking things up and finding out more so encourage your child to become an independent learner and to go the 'extra mile' with their studies.

9. Read together

As a parent you are your child’s first teacher, and one really practical way to help your child to learn is to read together, particularly when your child first starts school. But even as children get older they still love to be read to. Remember to share storytelling duties between both parents, as dads are powerful role models and have a strong influence on their sons’ attitudes to reading. Let them see you and older children reading yourselves, too.

10. Offer rewards

Make homework rewarding by setting up some treats like staying up 10 minutes later, spending 10 minutes extra on the computer, or having a friend round. It can help to keep your child motivated if they need that little extra encouragement from time to time.

For more ideas, have a look at our homework tips from real parents .

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8 Tips to Help Your Child With Homework

We get it—no matter your child’s age, getting homework done can be a challenge. Even for children in elementary school, their homework takes time, focus, and energy to complete. So here are 8 essential tips to help a child with their homework:

Minimize Distractions

Make it as easy as possible for your child to focus during homework time. Don’t have the television on in the background and make sure phones, tablets, and games are put away. This will also help signal to them that homework is a priority!

Create a Homework Space

Designating one place for homework helps establish a routine for your child. They will know to take their assignment from their backpack, bring it to the homework space, and return it to their backpack when they’re finished.

Recognize Your Child’s Abilities

Some children need to come home and work on their homework right away before they start playing and lose track of time. Others need a break after a long day at school and benefit from a little down time at home before starting their assignments.

Connect It To the Real World

If your child complains of homework being boring, try to emphasize how they will use what they’re learning outside of school. Not only can this help increase motivation, but it also shows how what they are learning this year builds on what they learned last year and already know.

Review, Review, Review

Remind your child that checking their work is part of doing homework. Reviewing after completing problems is not optional, and is actually part of every assignment.

Don’t Get Frustrated

You may need to give your child multiple reminders about the steps involved in doing homework. Especially when starting a new school year or coming back from long breaks, it can take a little time to get back into an after-school routine.

Remember Who the Student Is

Find the line between helping your child with their homework and completing it for them. Remember that sometimes the takeaway from the lesson isn’t the answer to the problem, but your child learning how to problem solve and find the answer.

Talk With the Teacher

If your child is working on their homework all night and can’t get it done before bedtime, set up a meeting to talk with their teacher. Many teachers are able to alter assignments to make the amount of homework each night more manageable for your child. It’s better to talk sooner to ensure your child gets the help they need before falling too far behind.

Try these ways to help support your child as they do their homework. Use these ideas to help make homework time easier!

Related resources.

Why Do Toddlers have Temper Tantrums and What Do They Mean?

How to Handle a Temper Tantrum and How to Prevent Them

Help your child with homework (without doing it yourself)

Sometimes you run out of patience, sometimes you run out of time, and sometimes you just want to make sure your child is successful. Whatever the reason, it’s easy for parents to overstep when it comes to homework.

But completing your child’s homework ultimately doesn’t do them any favors — in fact, there’s evidence that lots of parental involvement with homework can actually backfire. Instead, parents should recognize that homework exists to help children better understand the topics they’re learning in class. Letting kids figure it out for themselves, including making mistakes along the way, is an important part of the process. Beyond the academic benefits, allowing a child to complete homework alone helps him gain important life skills like self-sufficiency, problem-solving and time management.

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That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be involved at all. The key is to provide support and guidance while setting boundaries and reinforcing that homework is your child’s responsibility, not yours. Try these strategies to help your child do their homework without doing it for them.

Set up a homework routine.

Help your child get assignments done with less angst (or tears) by setting up and maintaining a homework routine. Figure out when your child is best able to concentrate — that may be right after school or scheduled activities, or he may need an hour of downtime at home before returning to school work. If your child spends time with an after-school sitter or in an after-care program, decide how much homework should be completed during that time.

You’ll also need to choose a location in your home where your child can work with minimal distraction. Some children thrive at a desk in their bedroom, away from siblings and other family members; others happily and productively work at the dining room table or kitchen island while mom or dad makes dinner. Whatever spot works for your child, make sure school supplies are within reach.

Most importantly, homework time needs to be free of television, video games, cell phones, and other media. If your child needs to access to the Internet for certain assignments, make sure the computer is in a communal area. Set boundaries around which sites your child can visit, and determine together how much time actually needs to be spent surfing the web.

Let your child’s age determine how involved you are.

It’s natural for parents to be a bit more involved when young elementary school students are still new to the concept of homework. At this age, parents or a sitter should sit down with the child to review homework and make a plan about how to tackle it. Your child needs to be an active participant in this conversation, which will help them learn how to prioritize without you.

By the time children are in junior high and high school, parents should be largely removed from the nightly homework process. Instead, be available as needed to discuss ‘big picture’ details on assignments and projects.

Don’t hover during homework time.

Be a resource when it comes to homework, not a crutch. Give your child space while she completes her homework. Do your own thing — make dinner or send work emails — but be accessible. This will encourage her to try to solve more difficult problems on her own before seeking your help.

Review good study habits.

Completing homework assignments and having good study habits aren’t necessarily the same thing, especially as children get older. Study habits include understanding how to review classroom material, take notes, stay organized and prepare for long-term projects and exams.

Parents can help teach and reinforce good study habits. Try these suggestions:

1. Talk to your kids about how these skills relate to the real world. Good study habits early on can set a student up for academic and professional success.

2. Model the behaviors you want to see in your child. While you don’t need to start pouring over a physics textbook, let your child see you balance the monthly budget, read books for pleasure, work on a big professional project or even manage the family calendar.

3. Support study habits by being present and available. Run through flashcards, administer practice questions and actively listen when your child wants to talk about the material he is learning.

Focus on healthy habits. For children in the United States, it’s not uncommon to have several hours of homework each night as they advance in school, in addition to after-school activities, sports and other commitments. While making time and space for homework to happen is important, other habits, like sleep as well as a healthy diet, can contribute to a child’s academic success.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, first graders need up to 11 hours of sleep a night, while junior high and high school students need at least 8 hours. Over time, without sufficient sleep, kids’ attention spans and abilities to concentrate are likely to decrease. Set a bedtime for your child and stick to it. If homework is interfering with your child’s ability to get enough sleep, it may be time to talk to the teacher about whether or not the volume of homework is reasonable.

Figure out what the sticking point is. 

Kids learn in different ways and at different paces. Suggest and try different methods to figure out what type of learning works best for your child. For example, if your child is struggling with algebra, try drawing a diagram or a picture to see if a visual representation will clear things up.

If a child continues to have trouble with certain subjects, he may have missed a key foundational concept from earlier lessons. No amount of “toughing it out” will work in these situations, so you may need to review materials to determine what information needs to be reviewed. Enlist help, either from a teacher or a tutor, if your child needs additional support and one-on-one attention.

Communicate with the teacher.

You and your child’s teacher are a team dedicated to your child’s academic success — and like all relationships, communication is key.

When your child has an issue with homework, resist the urge to take over and talk to the teacher instead. Teachers don’t want parents completing their students’ homework, and they typically know when a parent has intervened on an assignment. If your child is consistently struggling with her work, she may need extra help. The teacher can provide this help or assist you in identifying the right resources.

In addition, if you’re concerned about too much homework (or even too little homework), reach out to the teacher. Whatever the problem, be diplomatic — your child will be with this teacher for an entire year, so it’s important to keep the lines of communication open and productive. Together, you’ll likely be able to solve whatever homework issues arise.

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Helping Your Child With Homework

Helping your child with their homework can be a rewarding, yet sometimes challenging experience. Not only does it strengthen the bond between you and your child, but it also supports their academic growth and development. It’s important to have the right balance between being supportive and allowing them to learn independently.

Let’s explore some of the key “do’s” and “don’ts” when helping your child with their homework to create a positive learning environment that increases productivity, confidence and academic progress. 

DO give them time and space

Giving your child time and space to complete their homework is critical for developing their confidence, independence and problem-solving skills.

Try to avoid a last-minute rush the night before the homework is due by scheduling a designated time for homework to be completed.

Ensure they have a clear space to work, that is free from clutter and distractions, to allow them to focus only on the task at hand. It’s okay for them to have a break when they return home from school before they complete their homework, they’ve likely had a busy day and need some downtime.

Homework can be a rewarding experience for both you and your child when you have a calm and pressure-free environment. 

DON’T rush them or allow distractions

We’ve all been there, the sudden revelation that a big project is due the very next morning and this is the first time you’ve heard about it. So, you quickly grab what you need and rush with your child to get something worthy of handing in, probably continuing it yourself long after your child has gone to bed.

The experience is tense and stressful and not enjoyable for anyone. Avoid this situation by having an open dialogue with your child about what they’re learning at school and the homework they have been assigned.

You can then designate a set time to complete the work, allowing plenty of time before the due date. Ensure that phones are away, the TV is off and younger siblings are kept busy with a task of their own. Show your child that this is an important time that should be valued and prioritised. 

DO provide them with support and help

By being available to support and help your child with their homework, you can guide them through challenging tasks, enable critical thinking and offer them encouragement when they find the work too difficult, or their interest starts to wane. 

Take the time to listen to their thought processes, clarify the requirements of the task and gently prompt them towards finding solutions independently.

By showing your child that you are present and supportive, you allow them to have more self-belief in their own abilities and create a positive academic experience that fosters a positive attitude towards their learning. 

DON’T answer the questions for them

It can be frustrating when you’re trying to help your child and they seem unable to grasp a concept. In this situation, it is important to remain calm and patient and avoid the temptation to provide them with the answers.

Doing so could undermine their learning process, negatively impact their confidence and it deprives them of the opportunity to develop their critical thinking skills. Instead, try to ask open-ended questions that will encourage a deeper level of thinking that may enable them to discover the answers themselves.

If you’re finding that the homework set by the teacher is too challenging for your child, communicate your difficulties with their teacher by either scheduling a teacher-parent conference or leave a note in their homework diary. Make sure your child understands that they are not in trouble and explain clearly to them what you’d like to discuss with their teacher. 

DO praise their achievements 

By praising your child’s achievements, no matter how small, you are helping to build their self-esteem and confidence. This will motivate them to continue persevering and trying their best. Acknowledging their hard work promotes a positive learning experience which in turn supports their progress.

Try to be specific in your praise and explain exactly what they have done well. Rather than saying “well done”, you could say “well done for proofreading your work before moving on”. It is important that the child understands exactly what they have done effectively to continue building their confidence.

Positive reinforcement is a highly successful tool that will enhance a child’s motivation and the result is often repeated desired behaviours. 

DON’T show your frustration

It is important not to show your frustration when your child is struggling with their homework. No matter how easy or obvious the answers seem to you, your child is at a much earlier phase of their learning journey.

By expressing your irritation or impatience, you create a stressful environment that is not conducive to high levels of concentration, perseverance or a positive attitude towards learning. Instead, try to show patience and be calm and gentle in your delivery of advice and guidance.

By maintaining a supportive and positive demeanour, your child will feel safe and secure to attempt challenges without the anxiety of getting questions wrong or disappointing you. 

DO show interest and ask them questions

Showing interest in your child’s education is a powerful way to demonstrate to your child that their education and future is important to you.

Try to have daily conversations with them about what they have been doing and learning at school. Listen to their responses intently and ask follow-up questions. Attend parents’ evenings, and when given the opportunity, look through their schoolwork and praise all their achievements.

Your child should feel proud to show you their work, not worried . When your child is completing homework, ask them to explain their thinking and methods.

Children love to be the teacher and will often rise to the opportunity if they feel they are teaching you something new. Teaching strategies have evolved a lot over the years since we were at school, and many of the new methods will be new to you too! 

DON’T make them feel that mistakes are bad

If you ask any teacher, they will tell you that making mistakes is a positive thing! It is a natural and essential part of learning, and it provides opportunities for academic growth, self-correcting and memorable learning revelations.

Mistakes should be viewed as learning moments, or stepping stones, that lead to improvement and success, not as failures. By developing this mindset in both you and your child, you promote resilience and confidence to take on new challenges. 

Homework can seem a daunting experience for both you and your child, particularly when your child is learning strategies that were not taught when you were at school. But, with a careful balance of patience, understanding and encouragement, homework can be a positive bonding experience that supports your child in their learning journey.

This balanced approach not only enhances their academic performance but also contributes to their overall growth, confidence and wellbeing. 

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• Even Better

How to make school life a little less difficult for kids

Actually useful ways to help children with homework, bullying, and mental health.

by Allie Volpe

In early 2020, around the onset of Covid-19 lockdowns, Jessica Mungekar noticed her seventh grade honor student, Layla, retreat. “I knew that she felt really uncomfortable and she wanted to fall into the background,” Mungekar says. “She didn’t want to be noticed and I didn’t quite understand it.”

Meanwhile, Layla was keeping the source of her pain secret from her mother: She was being bullied and was struggling with her identity as a biracial teen in a predominantly white town. Layla feared if she told her mom about the extent of the bullying, Jessica would have called the school, making the problem even worse.

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Things came to a head the summer before Layla’s first year of high school when she shared with her mom details of a traumatic event. Layla urged her mother not to make decisions on her behalf in the aftermath. Instead, Jessica went into what she calls “mama bear mode” and made demands of her daughter: Cut off contact with these friends, join these extracurricular activities, you are only allowed out of the house during these hours. Layla felt like her autonomy was being taken away.

Over the course of a few months, mother and daughter worked to repair their relationship and communication. Now, Jessica says she is sure to listen to Layla instead of immediately offering advice, validates her daughter’s feelings, and gives her freedom to express herself. For her part, Layla confides in her mother all the time, even about her dating life. Her friends often seek out Jessica for counsel, too. “She’s become a safe place where people go to get advice,” Layla, now 16, says. “She’s joyous and doesn’t pass judgment.”

Students are faced with a daily barrage of potential stressors: a demanding course load, tricky social dynamics, managing both their time and emotions. In a four-year study designed to estimate the prevalence of mental disorders in kindergarteners through 12th graders, findings showed one in six students exhibited enough symptoms to meet the criteria for one or more childhood mental disorders, such as anxiety disorders and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. According to a 2019 Pew Research Center report, 61 percent of teens said they felt a lot of pressure to get good grades. About 22 percent of 12- to 18-year-old students reported being bullied during the school year in 2019, per a National Center for Education Statistics survey . None of these statistics takes into account the toll of the pandemic, which set students back academically and had negative effects on their mental health .

Once kids leave the house, parents and other adults in their lives have little influence on their students’ school days. Unable to witness or guide children through the difficulties in and out of the classroom, parents often get piecemeal or incomplete views of how their kids spent the last hours, especially if the child is young and can’t adequately verbalize their struggles or frustrations. Signs that a student may be experiencing hardship at school include increased irritability, difficulty sleeping or lack of sleep, and changes in appetite, says Jessica Kendorski , the chair of the school psychology department and professor at the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine. They may also say they feel sick in order to stay home, when in reality they may be stressed or anxious about school, Kendorski says.

Another indicator of a struggling child includes extreme people-pleasing, says Meredith Draughn , the school counselor at B. Everett Jordan Elementary School in Graham, NC, and the 2023 American School Counselor Association Counselor of the Year. High school students may also exhibit a “freeze” response, Draughn says. “It’s like well, that kid just doesn’t care, right? That kid’s super apathetic,” she says. “What we find when we dig into it more is they’re so overwhelmed by everything that’s happening that they just choose to do nothing because they don’t know how to address it.”

What, then, is the right way to support the students in your life? The tactics will vary based on the age of your child and the issues they’re facing. Regardless of your approach, experts say to always keep your kids in the loop of any decisions you’re making about their emotional and academic success.

Encourage growth mindset tactics for academic achievement

From homework to challenging classes, students experience a number of academic hurdles. Sometimes, they may fail a test or drop the ball on a project. While some students may criticize themselves (“I’m not smart enough”) or claim the material was too difficult, parents should promote a growth mindset : the ability to learn from setbacks, implement new processes, and improve. “You want to praise the effort and the strategies that they used,” Kendorski says. “If they fail something, you want to talk through ‘Why did you fail this? Let’s talk about what you can do to be successful next time.’”

A fixed mindset is one where people believe their skills are set in stone and they have no possibility of improving. When students in his classroom share fixed mindset sentiments like “I can’t do this,” elementary school teacher Josh Monroe is quick to amend the statement: “You can’t do this yet .” The power of yet helps students “understand that you don’t have to know it all right now — and it’s important that you don’t, that’s how you grow,” he says.

While it’s crucial to encourage a growth mindset with students who use negative self-talk, like “I’ll never learn this” or “I’m not good enough,” a fixed mindset can also backfire if you constantly tell a student “You’re so smart,” Kendorski says. “When things start to get really difficult, you might find kids that don’t want to take chances,” she says, “because they think that if I fail, I’m going to lose that ‘I’m so smart’ title.” Instead, she says, focus on accomplishments based on effort and strategies: “I’m really proud of you for organizing a study group with your friends.”

To help ensure your kids get their homework done and prepare for tests, Kendorski encourages a routine: dedicating a time and a place for schoolwork. If your student retains information more effectively if they study for a little bit each day instead of cramming, offer that as an option.

When the kid in your life asks for help with homework and you’re a little rusty on, say, algebra, don’t feel ashamed to admit you don’t know how to solve the problem, Draughn says. Monroe recommends the online educational tool Khan Academy , which features videos that guide both parents and students through all levels of educational concepts and lessons. For additional academic resources, reach out to your student’s teacher who will know about after-school tutoring sessions or extra guidance, Draughn says. “Going to teachers early and often, when help is needed, is the most crucial part of it,” she says, “because there are those programs, but they do fill up pretty quickly.”

Empower students to navigate difficult social situations with confidence

School can be a social minefield, with kids learning how to independently interact with peers and regulate their emotions. If your child shares that they’re being picked on or ostracized in school, Draughn suggests that you first validate their experience and never downplay their emotions. Ask them what level of support they want: Do they think it would be helpful to talk to a school counselor or a teacher? Or do they prefer you to reach out to the teacher directly? In Layla Mungekar’s experience, she would have opted for her mother to not interfere with her social life. “Letting them lead the way on that is important,” Draughn says. “They may say, I feel like I have the tools to handle this — and that’s great. Then you check in. But doing nothing and just not mentioning it again is not going to help anything.”

You might also start counseling your kid on self-advocacy and assertiveness at home, too, Draughn says, helping them identify moments where they should speak out against bad behavior and pointing out trustworthy adults to whom they can report issues, regardless of whether they are on the receiving end or have witnessed another student being bullied. “If someone is making you feel socially or physically unsafe, that’s the time to speak up,” says Tracee Perryman , the author of Elevating Futures: A Model For Empowering Black Elementary Student Success . Again, only reach out to the school yourself after talking it over with your kid.

However, your child may simply be shy and reserved, not the victim of bullying. Perryman says to help build confidence with the kids in your life by reminding them that what they have to say is important and they have valuable interests and insights worth sharing with others.

When it comes to social media, Jessica Mungekar discovered teens will “do what they’re going to do, whether you want them to or not,” she says. It’s better to listen if your child is involved with social media-related conflict, remind them they are not in trouble, and support them as you work to create a plan together. “I think it’s important in this day and age for kids to have social media because otherwise they get [alienated] by their peers,” Layla Mungekar says. “But it’s a lot safer when parents have those conversations, like yeah, this is going to happen and when it does happen, you should feel safe to come to me and not be blamed for that.”

Experts emphasize the transitory nature of school. While it’s crucial for students to apply themselves academically and make strides socially, remind them that one speed bump, fight with a friend, blunder, or bad grade will not drastically alter the trajectory of their lives. “It’s better that I make those mistakes now,” Layla says, “while I have someone there to help me.”

Promote balance to minimize stress

Just like adults, kids can get stressed due to the demands of school and extracurriculars, as well as conflicts with friends and family. If kids are sleeping very late on weekends or too tired to do activities they typically enjoy, like spending time with friends, they might need more balance in their schedules, Perryman says.

Ask your kid directly: “Are you playing T-ball three nights a week because you like it or you feel like you have to?” or “You had three extracurriculars last semester and it was really overwhelming for you. Do you want to pick two for this coming semester?” Draughn suggests. Remind your kid that just because they step away from a hobby now doesn’t mean they can’t come back to it in the future. Make sure students have one weeknight and one weekend day solely devoted to downtime, too, Draughn says. However, don’t discount the fact that sports and other activities can be rejuvenating for kids, even if they’re not resting.

Parents and supportive adults are quick to problem-solve for the kids in their lives, but Kendorski stresses the importance of asking, “Do you want me to listen? Or do you want me to help?” Your child might just want to vent about a tough baseball practice. When Layla wants validation and a hug from her mom, she asks her “to be a waterfall.” When she’s feeling less emotionally charged, then Layla and her mom can problem-solve.

For high-achieving students who may be stressed about grades and college applications, Kendorski suggests asking your kids what story they’re telling themselves about success. For example, they might worry that a bad test grade means they’ll never get into their dream college. Help them map more realistic outcomes by thinking about the absolute worst-case scenario and alternative paths. For example, the worst that could happen if they fail a single test is maybe they get a C for the quarter. But reinforce how if they study and complete all their homework, the likelihood of failing is minimized.

Remember not to make your stress their stress. Children are intuitive and can pick up on how the adults in their lives are feeling, Kendorski says. Instead of turning away from uncomfortable emotions, encourage open communication. If you’re disappointed in a mediocre grade, try saying, “I’m feeling a little bummed about the C on that test, but that’s my issue. I know you work hard and with some more practice, I know you’ll do better next time.”

Parents should always validate their child’s struggles and encourage caring for their mental health. Whether they’re seeking support from a trusted teacher or you think they’d benefit from speaking with a therapist — ask them how they’d feel about chatting with a professional before scheduling an appointment — remind them that “mental health is health,” Draughn says. That matters more than any test score.

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How Parents' Support and Emotional Guidance Shape Homework Success

New research from Hebrew University shows that how well parents understand their children and manage their own emotions greatly affects homework time. Parents who are good at understanding their kids are more supportive and help them become more independent and motivated to learn. On the other hand, parents who have trouble managing their emotions are more likely to act negatively, which can make it harder for children to stay engaged and do well in their learning

Researchers at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem have uncovered new insights into the mechanisms that contribute to parental ability to support their children academically. Led by Dr. Naama Gershy and PhD student Racheli Cohen from the School of Education, in collaboration with Prof. Maayan Davidov from the School of Social Work and Social Welfare , the study explored why so many parents struggle to support their children during homework.

The research shows that parents' emotional and cognitive processes can greatly influence their interactions with their children during homework time. By studying 101 Israeli parents and their elementary-aged children, the researchers identified factors that can either help or hinder the support parents provide at home.

Children usually spend about 1 to 2 hours a day on homework, but this varies with age and school demands. Many parents find it challenging to balance their own responsibilities while supporting their children academically, which can lead to stress and conflict. Improving this dynamic is crucial.

One key finding is the role of parental mentalization—the ability to perceive and interpret their children’s thoughts and feelings. Parents who are good at mentalization are more supportive and less controlling, creating a better homework environment that can boosts children’s independent learning and motivation. Conversely, parents who struggle with managing their emotions tend to express negative behaviors, like frustration or discouragement, which can make homework stressful and curtail their child’s engagement.

"Our research sheds light on how parents’ emotional and mental  processes impact their involvement in their children’s education," explained Dr. Gershy. "Understanding these factors can help develop strategies that improve parent-child interactions during homework, and hence increase parental ability to support and encourage their children’s learning ."

Practical applications of these findings could include parent training programs and educational strategies to improve parents’ awareness of their emotional states and mentalization skills, aiming to enhance parental support and foster better academic outcomes and relationship.

The research paper titled “Why Things Can Go Wrong When Parents Try to Help Children With Their Homework: The Role of Parental Emotion Regulation and Mentalization” is now available at Journal of Educational Psychology and can be accessed at https://doi.org/10.1037/edu0000873 .

Researchers:

Racheli Cohen 1 , Naama Gershy 1 , Maayan Davidov 2

Institution:

• The Seymour Fox School of Education, Hebrew University of Jerusalem
• The Paul Baerwald School of Social Work and Social Welfare, Hebrew University of Jerusalem

The Hebrew University of Jerusalem is Israel’s premier academic and research institution. With over 23,000 students from 90 countries, it is a hub for advancing scientific knowledge and holds a significant role in Israel’s civilian scientific research output, accounting for nearly 40% of it and has registered over 11,000 patents. The university’s faculty and alumni have earned eight Nobel Prizes, two Turing Awards a Fields Medal, underscoring their contributions to ground-breaking discoveries. In the global arena, the Hebrew University ranks 81st according to the Shanghai Ranking. To learn more about the university’s academic programs, research initiatives, and achievements, visit the official website at http://new.huji.ac.il/en

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Yes, You Can Opt Your Kids Out of Homework—Here’s How

When Juliana Porter thinks about the feeling that homework induces, one word comes to mind: dread.

“The subject we’ve found to be the most challenging is math, in large part because strategies and ‘show your work’ are often required to get correct answers,” says the North Carolina mom of three. “But as parents who are not in the class to learn new methods, we’re not able to help. Or we can help, but it’s not the correct method being taught and adds to our child’s confusion.”

The Porter family’s experience isn’t unique. Research published in the Child & Youth Care Forum found more than 25% of parents and kids say homework “always or often interferes with family time and creates a power struggle.” And according to an additional study conducted by a Stanford researcher, 56% of students surveyed say homework is a primary source of stress.

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While many families do their best to help their children complete homework with as little frustration as possible, my family has chosen a different option: to simply skip it. For four years, my family has totally opted out of homework, which I’ve learned doesn’t produce enough benefits for the stress it causes. And I want other parents to know that opting out of homework is an option for their kids, too.

Homework: How to Opt Out

If your child goes to an open admissions public school, opting out of homework can be something you consider. While it may be a particularly good choice if homework is causing major household stress, you don’t have to wait until your child is miserable to act if they (or you) would simply prefer to spend the time in other ways. There are no legal requirements that students complete work outside of school hours and, for many children, the actual determinants of homework outweigh the theoretical benefits.

How I Opt My Kids Out of Homework

To opt out, I send a note to each of my children's teachers at the beginning of the year letting them know that my child will not be completing homework, that their overall grade should not be impacted, and that they should not be penalized in any way for not turning in homework assignments.

I also let them know that we're committed to our kids' education, that we read together most evenings, and that, if my child is struggling or needs extra support in any subject, we're happy to brainstorm solutions to help them get the practice they need.

Opting out has worked well for our family but implicit bias might mean that other families don't receive the same neutral or positive reaction that our white family does. 

"Many historically marginalized families never consider opting out of homework, even when they know that it's not meaningful," says Sequoya Mungo, PhD , an educational equity consultant and co-founder of BrownLight Inc. , a company helping to create positive diversity and inclusion results in educational, nonprofit, and corporate environments. "When white families make these types of educational choices, they are viewed as forward-thinking and as advocates for their children's education. When non-middle class and non-white families opt out, the assumption is that parents don't value education.” 

According to Dr. Mungo, coming with research or policy can be helpful as even some school level administrators are unaware that opting out is within your rights as parents. “The more prepared you are, the more likely you are to not be met with pushback.” 

Why Families May Want to Opt Out of Homework

Since homework is so prevalent, many assume it's vital, or at least important, to kids' academic growth. But the reality is murkier. "There's really no good evidence that homework completion positively impacts kids' academic growth or achievement," says Samantha Cleaver, PhD , a reading interventionist and author of Raising an Active Reader: The Case for Reading Aloud to Engage Elementary School Youngsters . 

A 2006 meta-analysis of homework and achievement found moderate correlation in middle school and little correlation in elementary school, while there was negative correlation (that is, more homework means less learning) in third grade and below.

While research shows homework can help high school kids improve grades, test results, and likelihood of going to college, the reality is academic pressures in the U.S. have increased over the last two decades, and so too has the amount of homework that kids are assigned. The National Education Association (NEA) recommends no more than 10 minutes of homework per night per grade level, but that's often not what's happening.

Excessive homework can negatively impact sleep, mental health, and stress levels . It’s also important to note homework is an issue of equity, since not every child has the same opportunities at home.

"When kids are doing work in school, the classroom environment serves as somewhat of an equalizer,'' says Dr. Mungo. "Kids have access to the same teacher and generally the same resources within the classroom setting. At home, kids have different environments, different access to resources, and different levels of support." This means kids with less support and more challenges often end up getting lower grades or being penalized for not turning in work for reasons totally outside their control.

Parents who don't want to be the only ones opting out can work to change the homework culture at their school. Consider reaching out to your principal about your homework concerns or connecting with other parents or the PTA to help build support for your cause.

And if you do opt out, don't be shy about letting other parents know that's what you've chosen to do. Sometimes just knowing there is an option and that others have opted out successfully can help families decide what's right for them.

What to Do With the Extra Time You're Not Doing Homework

When Porter thinks about what a life without homework would be like, she envisions a much more relaxed evening routine. “I imagine a scenario where my kids can do their after-school activities , read more, get outside, and generally just decompress from the daily eight-hour grind that is school,” she says.

If you opt out of homework and find your family with more time for other sorts of learning, leisure, or adventure, be thoughtful about how you’ll structure your new routine and talk with your kids about the value of doing nothing, the importance of family time, or how to spend their time in ways that matter to them.

And if you want to be sure they're getting in some valuable post-school learning, consider repurposing your previous homework time to reading with your kids. "Reading aloud has benefits long after your kids can read on their own," says Dr. Cleaver. "Encourage them to choose books about subjects they're interested in, snuggle up together, and enjoy watching them learn through active reading."

But reading isn’t the only way to reap benefits. "There are lots of things that kids can do after school that will positively impact their growth and development that don't involve sitting down to do more of the work they've done at school,'' says Dr. Cleaver. " Time to decompress through play or relaxation isn't just fun, it actually helps kids' brains and bodies relax, making them more open to learning."

Homework and Children in Grades 3–6: Purpose, Policy and Non-Academic Impact .  Child Youth Care Forum.

Nonacademic Effects of Homework in Privileged, High-Performing High Schools .  The Journal of Experimental Education

Suitable Homework Boosts Highschool Learning Effects . World Journal of Education.

How much homework is too much? National Education Association.

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